Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
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Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. If you're out there and you're not doing as well on your goals for this year as you wanted to, you can go ahead and download my free ebook on how to set, plan, and master your goals. Just go to goals2025.com. It is absolutely free. Once again, goals with an S, 2025.com. Today, we're going to be talking about how to get yourself
out of a rut. Feeling stuck is one of the most frustrating experiences that you can have in life where you're putting in effort and you're just trying your hardest, but it feels like your wheels are just spinning and you're not actually moving forward and you're not making any real progress in life. And ruts can be many different things. It's not just about
trying to be more successful and you're not becoming more successful. Ruts can feel, and they can be emotional, they can be mental, they can be even physical ruts that you can get stuck in as well. And when you're in one, one of the hard parts about being in a rut is it feels like you're going to be in it forever. And one of my gripes about
normal self-development is most people will be like, oh, you're in a rut. Well, the way that you want to get out of a rut is to try something new and to change your routine and just get more exercise or do a morning routine or drink more water. And those are all fine and stuff, but they're incredibly surface level.
And they don't really address what the deeper reasons are as to why you're stuck in the first place.
And that's what I really want to dive into today with you is why are you actually stuck in the first place? And once you identify that, you can get yourself out of it. So today we're going to dive into why ruts really happen, what's actually keeping you stuck in place. And then we're going to talk about how to break free so that you're out of the rut and you break free in a way that lasts.
So the first thing that we need to do, the first step is we need to identify the root cause of your rut, because your rut that you feel like you're stuck in can be way different than somebody else's. And so before we escape the rut and, you know, try meditating more or try going for a run before we do those types of things, the service level stuff, let's understand why you're in the rut.
Ruts don't just happen randomly. What happens is they're stemming from some deeper issues in your life, in your mind, or in your body. And so one of them can be that you have emotional burnout. You could just really be exhausted from a long, like prolonged stress that you have in your life. Maybe you have emotional burnout from all of the responsibilities. It feels like you just got so many things on top of you that you're responsible for.
It could also be emotional strain. All of these can make you feel really numb and feel really exhausted from it. So the first one that you can have is you can have emotional burnout. The second thing that can really be giving you a rut and putting you in one is that you have lack of purpose.
Like you feel like you're just working and showing up and doing the same thing every single day. And you just feel like you're not really heading in a direction that is fulfilling to you. You're looking into the future and saying, well, that looks like it sucks. Like I don't really, I'm not really stoked to go there. So I'd rather do nothing versus work hard to go to a place I don't want to be in the first place.
And so what happens is you just kind of go through the motions and there's no real fulfillment in your life. And there is a part of you that is deep down inside of you that is just fed up with it. And that part of you is resisting you doing this anymore. It's like, screw this. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm going to throw a temper tantrum deep down inside of your subconscious and you're going to feel like you're stuck. You're going to feel like you're spinning your wheel. So there's a part of you that's like, screw this. I'm not doing it anymore.
And so that's the second thing is you can feel a lack of purpose. Third thing that's very common for people is you might have some unprocessed emotions, right?
If you have suppressed your emotions like grief or anger or sadness or disappointment, and you've just kind of pushed them under the rug and act like they don't exist, they can create this heaviness that makes you feel like you're stuck. And you can go on for a little while, but eventually your body's going to get to the point where your body's screaming at you like, hey, I need you to stop because we need to process this stuff before we go any further.
And so you got to stop pushing your emotions under the rug. We need to learn how to sit with our emotions. Stop acting like you don't want to feel them. The fourth thing that can be is it could be fear of change. Sometimes being stuck feels safer than facing uncertainty.
So what our unconscious, our subconscious will do is it will make us stuck, like spinning our wheels, because it's looking into the future and saying, whoa, that's uncertain. I don't like uncertainty. I've got fears around uncertainty. So I'm just going to make sure that he or she just continues to keep spinning their wheels so they don't go out of their comfort zone.
And so your mind might be resisting change even if your conscious mind is like, we need to do something different. Your subconscious is like, no, no, no. It's scary out there. I don't want to get out of this comfort zone. And so you might be unconsciously making yourself stuck so that you don't actually face your fears.
And then the fourth way that I broke down that you can cause yourself to be in a rut is just straight up overwhelm. You've got too much on your plate. You have too many choices or too many obligations or too many priorities or too many things that are on your to-do list. And it can lead to this paralysis analysis.
And with all of these things, you're focusing on trying to get all of them done at one time. And your brain is not wired to think about doing 40 things at one time. So your brain's like, we need to shut it down. And so usually this feeling of a rut in some sort of way is your brain or body, or it can actually be sometimes both your brain and your body giving you a signal of, hey, what you're doing is not working. So we're just going to shut it down.
And then your conscious mind is like, well, I don't know. Why am I not taking action towards what it is that I want? And your body's like screaming at you like, dude, will you just freaking listen to me? I'm trying to give you a message. This isn't working. Shut it down. And so each of these have a different solution, which is why you just can't throw some surface level like workout more on top of being in a rut.
And that's why this generic self-development advice fails or motivational speaker advice fails is because it doesn't target your specific problem, right? That's one of my biggest gripes with motivation or self-development is like, you can do it. Go ahead. I believe in you. And it's like, no, dude, that's not dealing with the root problem here. And so you should take a step back and think about the stuff that I just kind of said. And if you feel like you're in a rut,
is ask yourself, what was happening in my life when I started feeling this way? Like, what was going on in my life when I started feeling like I was spinning my wheels? Like, I started feeling like I wasn't going. I started feeling a little bit more heaviness. Also, you should ask yourself, is there something that I'm avoiding or maybe something that I'm suppressing? And then also, am I stuck because I don't know what to do or am I stuck because I'm afraid to do it? And if you ask yourself those three questions...
you might be able to find, you should be able to find what the actual root cause of your being in a rut is. And once you identify the root cause, then you can choose the right strategy to move forward. And so that brings us to step number two,
Now that we've identified it, step number two is to break this cycle of stagnation. When we're in a rut, what's interesting is that what we tend to do when we're in a rut is we repeat the same thoughts, which makes us repeat the same actions. And then we repeat the same routines and then we get the same results we've always got. And so this reinforces this feeling of being stuck. And so you're just really more than anything else. If you just continue to keep doing the same stuff, you're just digging your hole deeper.
And so the key to breaking free is to interrupt this cycle in some sort of way. And this requires you to become more aware of the cycle itself. And so here's how you have to deal with it in the different ways, depending on what is it you're going through. If you're the person who feels like, you know what, maybe I am actually burnt out.
And you feel like burnt out is actually what's causing you to be in a rut right now or feel like you're in a rut is you need to prioritize deep rest. Your body is basically like, dude, just give me a couple days to catch up. Most people try to push through burnout with more effort. I've done this before. Promise you, it doesn't work. It only deepens the rut. You can't just push through the rut. You've got to take a step back.
And so instead, what you need to do is you need to give yourself some permission to rest in a way that actually restores you. And we will be right back. With HubSpot, marketing has never been easier. Create content fast, get better leads, and crush reporting all in one place. Visit HubSpot.com slash marketers to see how companies like yours are generating 110% more leads in just 12 months.
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I would think that rest was unproductive, but in turn, I would have needed rest in order to be more productive in the times that I am actually working and getting stuff done. And when I say rest, I don't mean like sleep. Like sleep is good. You should definitely get it. You should make sure you're getting your seven to eight hours a night, whatever it is that you feel like you need. But sleep alone is not enough. Your mind...
needs mental rest. Your mind needs to get away from all of the screens, all of your TV, your phone, your computer, the email, the text messages, your social obligations, all of your decision making. Even if you just disappear from the world for an hour, it'll be ready for you when you come back, I promise you. So you can take an hour off,
Do some breath work, do some deep breathing, maybe do some meditation, maybe even take a nap. Wouldn't that be nice? Or what you could do if you feel like you need longer is why don't you just take a weekend off and do nothing?
just hang out around the house if you want to. Don't watch Netflix the entire time. Or if you have the means to be able to do so, I would recommend that you just rent an Airbnb that's out in the country, an hour outside of town where you live, and just turn your phone off. And you can either go by yourself or take your spouse, and the two of you can focus on connecting deeply. And then you start to feel a little bit better.
See, what you really need in this deep rest is this feeling of like that, this feeling of like a deep sigh out. And I want you to think about that, like what would make you feel that's the thing that you need to go for? How can you give yourself some sort of hard reset? And so take a weekend, take a full day to do nothing that's quote unquote productive. No self-improvement, don't read a book, no work, no to-do list, just rest up.
Do whatever feels right. Go on a hike, hang out in nature, do some meditation, breath work, whatever it is that you want just to kind of rest a little bit. So that's the first thing if you feel like you're just, you just got so much that you're just burnt out. The second thing is if you feel like you lack purpose, I want you to figure out a way to reconnect with what feels right to you.
When we feel stuck, it often feels like empty and it feels directionless. And so if you're just going through the motions without some deeper sense of meaning or fulfillment or what you're trying to get out of your life, it is really hard to get excited about stuff. It's really hard to get excited to go do something that you don't want to do.
Like I always tell people, so many people struggle to like, oh my gosh, running a business and starting a business is so much energy. I'm like, you know what requires more energy? To get yourself up every day for the next 20 years and drive to a job that you hate and stay there all day long. Like that requires so much more energy than doing something that you want to do. And so if you're in a rut, you might just be tired of doing something that doesn't fulfill you.
And so you can't just deal with this unfulfilling life anymore. And if this feels like you, you feel like that's the thing I would recommend versus me diving into it today and wasting time on it. I have entire episodes. You can go back and listen to multiple on them on how to find your purpose. So I'd recommend just go back, scroll back or go into Spotify or Apple podcast type in Rob Dial or Mindset Mentor Purpose. And there's episodes you can listen to there. So that's the second thing.
The third thing is you might have unprocessed emotions. And so you need to create some space so you can feel it. Many ruts are caused by emotions that haven't just been fully acknowledged and they've been suppressed versus expressed.
So we suppress feelings we don't want to feel. We try to numb them. We suppress sadness. We suppress frustration, disappointment, sadness, thinking that we're moving on, but the emotions, they still linger beneath the surface. And if you do it over and over and over again, it's really going to start to weigh you down. This is the thing that I didn't realize when I was younger, but now that I'm approaching 40, I think I've lived enough life to understand is
If you just act like the emotions aren't there, if you don't process those emotions, they don't leave you. It's not like time just makes them disappear. And it's sad the amount of times that I've seen someone or they've said to me in some sort of way, and I see someone who's needing to grieve, and they say something like, well, I just need to keep busy so I don't think about it.
I'm like, it ain't going away. It's going to linger for a really long time unless you process it. So if you feel stuck, maybe ask yourself, is there something that I haven't allowed myself to fully feel? And then put all of your thoughts, all of your emotions, all of your feelings onto a piece of paper. Just put it all out there so you can see it on a piece of paper.
If you're afraid of somebody finding it, you can rip it up. You can burn it after. You can throw it away. Just get all of it out. And sometimes movement like running or dancing or kickboxing or punching a pillow can help release these emotions that are trapped inside of your body as well. And so...
If you need someone to give it to you, I give you full permission to go through an adult temper tantrum if you need to. In a safe space, obviously alone or with someone who is there to support you. And so you can process all of your emotions by yourself or with somebody else. You can take a pillow and you can beat your bed with it. So you can, you know, hit the bed over and over and over again and just scream and cry, whatever it is. But, you know, try it out.
If nothing else, just give yourself 15 minutes to just sit and be with your feelings without your phone, without TV, without distractions. And just let whatever emotions are there that come up and bubble to the surface come up. You don't have to solve anything. You don't have to do anything special. You just need to acknowledge and give yourself some space. And sometimes just this 15 minutes can make you feel so much better.
So that's the third one. If fear of change is holding you back, then what you want to do is you want to figure out the way to take the smallest step. If fear of change is keeping you trapped in your rut because change feels like it's very overwhelming, our brains really interestingly, and I always think about this, prefer familiar discomfort over unfamiliar uncertainty. So you can be familiar and you can hate the position that you're in, but you would be
Prefer that because you've been there before and it's familiar over unfamiliar uncertainty. And the reason why is because uncertainty is a threat to the brain. If there's uncertainty, your brain knows it cannot predict how to stay safe. And so the solution, I think, for you, if you're one of the people who's just afraid of change, just lower the pressure. Instead of going, oh my God, I'm going to make this huge life change. I'm going to
lose 75 pounds and I'm going to do this and I'm going to move to a different city. Just take a tiny little step that feels safe. So if you're stuck at a boring job, update one part of your resume.
If you feel like you're socially isolated and you're just isolating yourself and you're afraid to get out of your comfort zone, just text one person that you trust. Do a FaceTime with them. Call them up. Ask them to go get coffee. If you're struggling with self-doubt, just do one small thing that challenges your negative beliefs. It's not about these big, massive things that change your life. It's about taking one small step. And so you should just ask yourself, what's the smallest action?
that I can take today to just make me feel like I'm moving forward. And then you just do it. And that little tiny shift can start to make you feel like you're starting to move forward. Okay. So that's, you know, what you would want to go through in step number two.
Then what I think is really important, that's another piece of it that is not often talked about, is that a lot of times you'll be stuck in a rut because you're trying to go somewhere and do something that you've never done before, which requires you to be different. And if you need to be different, you need to change your identity of what you think of yourself. Like you cannot be the same person you've always been and create a completely different life. And so one of the reasons I think people fall back into ruts is because they try to change
their behaviors, but it doesn't line up with their self-image. And so your brain is wired to seek this consistency between your actions and your identity. And if you see yourself as someone who is stuck or fat or lazy or unmotivated or incapable,
then any change is just gonna feel temporary. You're just gonna go back to it. And so what you really need to do is start shifting the identity of who you think you are. And I've had episodes in the past about identity, and I think that's really important for people to dive into. But if you feel like you want a completely different life, the thing that might be keeping you stuck is who you think you are.
You can say, oh my God, I want to be rich and successful and happy. But if you feel like your identity is, I'm just dumb and I'm not worthy of success and I'm not worthy of happiness, well, it's going to be really hard and you're going to feel like you're spinning your wheels all the time. And so what's really important is for you to take a step back and actually start to analyze what your identity is, what you think of yourself, because all that is, is just a perception and perceptions can be changed.
And so, you know, it's a simple thing that you can do and just try to notice your negative thoughts about yourself. Try to notice your identity of who you think that you are and try to start taking little tiny actions that align with who you want to be. And then what I would recommend is
is figure out some sort of affirmation, some sort of phrase or sentence or two sentences or three sentences of who you want to be and who you're going to be in this world and start to brainwash yourself into actually believing that.
And so when you look at ruts, no matter how deep your rut feels, it's not permanent. And it may feel like you're trapped, but in reality, you're just, what you're doing is you're repeating the same old patterns and patterns can be changed, which is what's great. And so the key here is to just address the deeper issue of, okay, I am in a rut.
What am I feeling? What type of rut am I in? And now what is the best action? What is the best action for me to take in order to get out of it? And you don't have to overhaul your entire life overnight. You just need to intentionally take one different step today. And if you keep doing that over time, you'll notice in a couple of days, a couple of weeks, a couple of months that you're in a completely different situation than you were before. And you're out of that rut. So
That's how to get yourself out of a rut quickly. If you love this episode, please share this episode on your Instagram stories. Tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And then as I said earlier, if you want to download my free ebook on how to dominate your goals for this year, how to set, plan, and achieve them, you can get it for free at goals2025.com. Once again, goals with an S, 2025.com. And with that, I'm gonna leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have
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