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cover of episode Why Some People Take Action and Others Stay Stuck Forever

Why Some People Take Action and Others Stay Stuck Forever

2025/3/13
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The Mindset Mentor

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Rob Dial
通过播客、社区和书籍帮助人们改变心态和提升生活质量的自我发展专家。
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Rob Dial: 我在节目中探讨了为什么有些人能够采取行动,而其他人却停滞不前。究其原因,在于人们看待事物的方式——机会与义务。大多数人知道自己想要更好的生活,但他们总是停滞不前,无法理解原因。如果你能够掌握这种思维模式的转变,你就能更容易地为创造自己想要的生活而采取行动。我们需要做一些事情来改变我们的生活,你不能只是冥想就能改变生活,你必须采取不同的行动,做比你现在更难的事情才能拥有更好的生活,并且你必须停止阻碍自己。但是,你必须明白,你的大脑并非为此而设计的。你的大脑并非设计成在当下不需要的时候去做更难的事情。你的大脑是为短期关注而设计的。你可能听说过,生活要么现在艰难,以后轻松,要么现在轻松,以后艰难。这是因为一切事情,我们的头脑总是关注短期。但是,如果你能从不同的角度,不同的视角来看待问题,开始关注长期,你每天的行为将会发生巨大的改变。我想和你分享的就是机会与义务的概念。机会与义务。你的大脑几乎总是会选择最简单、最安全的道路。所以,如果你想改变你的生活,你需要有意识地选择有时走更难的路。当我谈到义务与机会时,让我给你举几个例子来解释我的意思。许多人都想开始更多地锻炼,或者想要坚持锻炼,或者想要更努力地锻炼,对吧?但他们并不总是这样做。为什么呢?因为他们关注的是眼前的义务,对吧?摆在他们面前的短期义务,需要采取行动。锻炼的义务是你必须更努力地锻炼。坐在沙发上比去锻炼容易得多。义务是你必须让你的身体承受一些压力。你必须让自己有点痛苦。你必须使你的肌肉紧张。你必须喘不过气来。什么都不做更容易。盯着天花板躺在沙发上比更容易。这就是为什么大多数人不会采取行动,因为他们关注的是摆在他们面前的义务。然而,机会是你想要开始关注的。机会是未来长期可能发生的事情。那么,锻炼的机会是什么呢?减肥。也许是对自己穿着比基尼的样子感到自豪。也许是增肌。也许是活得更久。好的,义务是,是的,我需要在短期内采取行动,给我的身体施加压力,提高我的心率,出汗,喘不过气来。好的,这就是义务。机会是我可以减肥。我可以更健康。我可以有更多的精力。我可以穿泳衣的样子比我17岁以来任何时候都要好。我可以增肌,无论对你来说是什么。这就是义务与机会。大多数人都关注义务。我想让你做的是开始更多地关注机会。假设你想吃得更健康,对吧?义务是你必须远离你习惯吃的某些食物。你必须有时对一些非常美味的东西说不。这就是人们不吃健康食物的原因。我不是说健康饮食不好吃。它可以很好吃。但是有一些非常美味的食物对你的身体不好。这意味着你不会吃那么多糖。糖很好吃。味道很棒。人们不喜欢改变。他们宁愿不改变。停止吃他们喜欢吃的东西。这就是义务。长期吃得更健康的机会是什么?嗯,我每天都会有更多的精力。我可能会为了我的孩子活得更久。我将能够陪我的女儿走上婚礼的红毯,你知道的,如果你现在超重100磅,这对你来说可能不是一个机会。但是,如果你采取正确的行动,长期的机会是,是的,你仍然可以活着。你能够行动自如地陪你的女儿走上婚礼的红毯,并与你的孙子一起玩耍。这就是义务与机会。假设你从事销售工作。我知道很多从事销售工作的人在听我说话,或者从事某种形式的销售或业务,对吧?义务是你必须付出一些努力。你必须打一些电话。你必须在一些电话中被拒绝。不。也许有些人会挂断你的电话,你必须处理诸如,“哦,我的上帝,我是不是有什么问题?”这样的想法。这就是义务。我必须在接下来的两个小时里坐在那里,不停地打电话,看看我能不能让一些人接电话。这就是义务。冷电话。如果你以前从未做过,那感觉很糟糕。销售是一个高薪职业是有原因的。因为当你做那些艰难的事情时,它并不是最有趣的。冷打电话的机会是,也许你可以买你的第一套房子。这是一个长期的机会。你可以支付你孩子的教育费用。你可以带你的家人去旅行,当你还是个孩子的时候,你甚至无法梦想,因为你的父母没有钱。也许你可以为你的妈妈买一辆车,因为你总是想买。也许你可以在销售方面做得非常好,以至于你可以在以后为你的妈妈买一套房子。这就是机会。大多数人并没有关注机会。他们在关注什么?义务。我必须在接下来的几个小时里努力工作。这就是他们在想什么。早起。好的。义务。你必须离开你温暖、舒适、漂亮、令人惊叹的床,而你本可以继续睡。当闹钟响起时,你的床有多舒服?那一刻最舒服。在闹钟响起时,世界上没有什么比你的床更舒服的了。所以义务是你必须离开它。留在床上什么都不做要容易得多。然而,机会是,在完成你的晨间例行活动后,你会感觉好多少。如果我完成了冥想,我会如何更好地对待别人。仅仅是在我匆忙开始一天之前,安静地喝30分钟咖啡,我会感到多么平静和安宁。这些都是机会。

Deep Dive

Chapters
This episode explores the common struggle of knowing what to do to improve one's life but failing to take action. It introduces the concept of viewing challenges as opportunities rather than obligations to overcome this obstacle. The core idea is that our brains are wired for short-term focus, hindering long-term progress.
  • Most people know they want a better life but struggle to take action.
  • Our brains are wired for short-term focus, making it difficult to prioritize long-term goals.
  • The difference between viewing tasks as obligations versus opportunities is key to taking action.

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
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Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you want to get some inspirational text messages from me, some mindset tips and tricks, text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305.

Today, we're going to be talking about why some people take action and why most people stay stuck forever. And this is one of the biggest hangups that I see that stops people from creating the life that they want. Like most people know they want a better life. They consciously want to create a better life, but they keep stopping themselves and they can't figure out why it is. So if you can master this,

It's going to be so much easier for you to take action towards the life that you want to create the future that you want to create. And so, obviously, we all need to do things to change our life. Like that's just not going to change. You can't sit around and just meditate a different life. You have to do different actions. You have to do harder things than you're currently doing to make a better life. And you've got to stop holding yourself back. But,

You have to understand your brain is not wired to do that. Your brain is not designed to do the harder thing when it's not necessary in this moment. Your brain is wired for short-term focus. You've probably heard like life is either hard now and easy later or easy now and hard later. Well, it's because everything

Our brain is always looking at the short term. But if you can look through a different frame, like through a different lens, and start seeing long term, you will change what you do on a day-to-day basis drastically. And it's this idea that I want to share with you of opportunity versus obligation.

Opportunity versus obligation. Your brain will almost always go to the easiest, safest route. So if you want to change your life, you're going to need to consciously change

go the hard route sometimes. And so when I say obligation versus opportunity, let me give you a few examples of exactly what I mean. Many people want to start working out more or they want to be consistent working out or they want to work out harder, right? But they don't always do it. Why is it? It's because they're focusing on the obligation, right?

that's in front of them, the short-term obligation, which is the action needs to be taken. The obligation for working out is you gotta work harder. It's a lot easier to sit on a couch than it is to go and work out. The obligation is you've gotta put your body through some strain. You gotta hurt yourself a little bit. You gotta strain your muscles. You gotta get out of breath. It's easier to not do anything. It's easier to stare at the ceiling and lay on the couch than it is.

And that's why most people don't take actions because they're focusing on the obligation that's right in front of them. The opportunity is what you want to start getting yourself to focus on though. The opportunity is what could come later on down the road long term. So what's an example of opportunity for working out? Losing weight. Maybe being proud of the way that you look in a bikini. Maybe it's gaining muscle.

Maybe it's living longer. Okay, so the obligation is, yes, I need to, in the short term, take action, put strain on my body, get my heart rate up, sweat, be out of breath.

Okay, that's the obligation. The opportunity is I could lose weight. I could be healthier. I could have more energy. I could look better in a bathing suit than I've ever looked since I was 17 years old. I could gain muscle, whatever it is for you. That's the obligation versus the opportunity. Most people focus on the obligation. What I'm trying to get you to do is to start looking more at the opportunity.

Let's say that you want to eat healthier, right? The obligation is you've got to stay away from certain foods that you're used to eating. You got to say no to some really delicious shit sometimes. And this is where people don't eat healthy. Not saying that eating healthy isn't delicious. It can be. But there are some very delicious foods that are not good for you. It means you're not going to eat as much sugar. Sugar is great. Tastes amazing. And people don't like change. They'd rather not change.

stop eating the things they love eating. That's the obligation. What's the opportunity later on down the road of eating healthier? Well, I'm going to have a lot more energy throughout the day. I will probably stay alive longer for my kids. I'll be able to walk my daughter down the aisle, which, you know, if you're 100 pounds overweight right now,

It might not be an opportunity for you. But if you do take the right actions, a long-term opportunity is, yeah, you could still be around. You could be able to be mobile enough to walk your daughter down the aisle to pay with your grandkids. That's the obligation versus the opportunity. Let's say that you're in sales. I know a lot of people in sales listen to me or some form of sales or business, right? The obligation is you got to put in some work. You got to make some calls. You've got to get rejected on some calls. No.

Maybe some people are going to hang up on you and you've got to deal with like, oh my God, is there something wrong with me? That story that might pop up inside of your head. That's the obligation. I've got to sit here for the next two hours and just pound the phone and just see if I can get some people to answer. That's the obligation. Cold calling. If you've never done it before, it sucks. There's a reason why sales is a high paying profession. It's because it ain't the most fun when you're doing the hard things.

The opportunity of it, of making the cold calls, is maybe you can buy your first house. That's a long-term opportunity. You can pay for your children's education. You can take your family on trips that you were, when you were a child, would have never even been able to dream of because your parents didn't have the money. Maybe you can buy your mom a car because you always want to buy. Maybe you could get so good at sales that you could buy your mom a house later on down the road.

That's the opportunity. Most people are not focusing on the opportunity. What are they focusing on? The obligation. I got to put in work for the next couple hours. That's what they're thinking. Waking up early. Okay. Obligation. You got to get out of your warm, comfortable, beautiful, amazing bed when you could just fall. Like how comfortable is your bed when the alarm goes off? It's the most comfortable at that moment. There's nothing more comfortable in the entire world than your bed when your alarm goes off. So

So the obligation is you've got to get out of that thing. It's much easier just to stay in bed and to not do it. The opportunity though, how much better you're going to feel after having your morning routine. How much better I will treat people if I get my meditation in. How much more calm and peaceful I will feel to just wake up and drink my coffee in silence for 30 minutes before I just rush into my day. Those things are the opportunity.

And we will be right back.

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And right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at masterclass.com slash dial. That's 15% off at masterclass.com slash dial, masterclass.com slash dial. And now back to the show. Let's say starting a business, maybe a side hustle, maybe a full-time business, right? The obligation, I have to work extra hours. I've already got a full-time job. I got children and I've got to work extra hours to build this business. The obligation, I might fail.

Obligation, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I need to learn new skills. I need to be uncomfortable. The opportunity, hey, if this works, I can create massive financial independence for myself and for my family. What else? Well, I get to build something that I'm fully passionate about versus doing something that I hate.

Or I can control my own schedule and my future. I can work from anywhere in the world. Well, that's the opportunity that's in front of you. But do we really focus on that? No, we focus on, I just got done with work. Just put the kids to bed. I'd just rather do nothing right now. We don't think about how our life can be drastically different if we take the right actions right now. What about saving money? That's one of the things that I hear a lot of people have trouble with. The obligation is,

I have to cut back on things that I enjoy doing. I can't just buy whatever I want. And budgeting, that takes time. And you know what also it takes? Discipline. It's way easier just to go buy some stuff than it is to like be disciplined. I also have to like maybe learn about how to become better at saving and investing money. Those are the obligations. The opportunity, I can have financial freedom in my future. I can retire earlier.

I can travel anywhere that I want to. I can invest. I could do all of those things. I could not stress about money ever again. Those are the opportunities. But do we focus on those? No, we know that they're there, but we focus on the obligation. I'd have to cut back on things that I like buying, but I want to buy another purse, right? Let's say that you want to get better at public speaking. What's the obligation? Oh my God, it's so nerve wracking your first few times.

I have to take time. I've got to prepare the speech. I've got to make sure I don't look like an idiot. People might judge me. That's the obligation that's in front of me. The opportunity, oh my God, I get to share my message. I get to inspire people. I'm building my confidence. That will help me in every single area of my life. This could open up new career opportunities for me. Maybe I could be a professional public speaker and I could quit my day job with this boss that I hate. Those are the opportunities.

Do we focus on them often? No, we know that they're there. We just usually focus on, well, I don't want to look like an idiot. What if people think I look stupid? What if I trip on the way up? We focus on the obligation. Let's say I want to learn a new skill in some sort of way. I want to learn a language. I want to start coding. The obligation takes a lot of time and effort. I'm probably going to look like an idiot at first. I'm going to mess up a lot. I have to practice consistently. The opportunity, I'll become more valuable in my career.

I'll meet new people. I'll have richer experiences because of it. I'll prove to myself that I can learn anything. And so I want you to understand, and the reason why I give you so many examples is because so many people don't take the action that they want to because they're too busy looking at this short-term next two hours to next two days versus like looking and like, what could be different about my life if I do something different? And so,

One thing, if you really want to set yourself apart, what I have found is look at what everybody else in the world is doing or the majority of people in the world are doing and do the exact opposite. What are most people doing right now? They're scrolling on their phone. They're sitting in front of the TV. They're eating crap food from a box. They're not moving their body. They're not challenging themselves. They're not learning more.

They're not trying to become better. There's many things that people are doing. So I'm looking at all of this. I'm going, if I want to set myself apart from other people, I need to do the exact opposite of everybody else. And it looks like to me, everybody else or most people, I want to say, are focused on such short-term gains. This tastes good in my mouth, so I'll eat it.

versus going, you know what? I'll choose the healthier route so that I can live longer. I can look better. I can have more energy. I can have more success and more fun and more mobility when I get older. Most people are looking at, hey, this tastes good right now. Can I just put the stuff in my mouth for the next 30 seconds and eat it and I'll feel good for 30 seconds and then gain a pound over the next week by doing it versus going, hey, let me take a step back.

What's the long-term result of me doing this thing? Is it what I want in my life or is it not what I want in my life? And what it requires you to do is to make a hard decision in the moment. It is so much harder to say no to the easy things, the convenient things that are right in front of you than to say, it's so much harder to say no to those things than it is to say yes to the long-term things that we need to do. Like, I don't want to work out, but I'll do it anyways. I don't want to

wake up early, but I'll do it anyways. I don't want to have to read, but I'll do it anyways. Like I don't enjoy reading. I always tell people I don't enjoy reading, but I do enjoy learning and becoming better more than I enjoy, don't enjoy reading. And so I don't enjoy reading, but I do want to become better. So I'm going to become better instead of not reading. Does that make sense? And so there's always going to be things that you have to do to get what you want in your life.

They must be done. You're still going to have to do the obligation. But the difference is instead of just focusing on the obligation while you're doing it and having that be the thing that stops you, what I would prefer to do is think of the long-term opportunity while doing the obligation. And to be honest with you, like just with all the love in my heart, I'm going to say this. You just got to grow up at some point. Just be an adult. No one's going to come and save you. If your life is going to change, you have to be the person to change it.

So many people out there are just waiting for someone to come and save them and change their life. It ain't going to happen. There's no knight in shining armor coming around the bend for you. You've got to be your knight in shining armor. And so what you got to do is you got to focus on the outcome that you want.

And have that be front of mind. Focus on your vision. Focus on what you're creating. Focus on who you want to become. Focus on what's going to change your life and how it's going to change your family's life and how it's going to change the generations after your children. Focus on all of that while still doing what needs to be done. Don't focus on the outcome that you don't want.

Focus on what it is that you want and do the things that need to be done in order to get there. And if you do that, you will be one of the few people that actually take action versus one of the people that stay stuck forever. So that's all I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And with that, I'm gonna leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

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