Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
How great would it be if Cash and Nelly Chapa fought? Dude, I wanna fight Nelly Chapa so bad. So, right now, Nelly Chapa's watching this. What do you say? Oh, Nelly Chapa, answer me. Little fake blonde is calling him out. Look at you, Nelly Chapa. Look at me. Oh, no. If he would box me, I'll bet him $20,000 that I win. Guys, did y'all know that I was in New York this break, and I got attacked by a homeless... Er, okay, restart. Um... No, just tell the story, and then you get attacked. You'll start it with...
No, no, go ahead. I want to hear the home of school. I'm keeping that in. So I was in New York and for like seven days. I love, love, love New York. I think I'm going to move there when I'm older. Like I love it so much. You like it? I love it. I've
I've made fun of people like you for my whole life. I do not understand how people like New York. Do you guys believe this story before we start? Oh, no. No, you don't have to. So my friend got attacked by a homo... Okay, I'm not supposed to start with that. But like... No, no, no, you can start. No, yeah. Just tell the story, Harper. She forgets that this isn't like scripted. This is not like the club channel. So basically, I literally...
I was walking with my friend on the subway. We were just walking, you know, with our little leader and or with our coach Wilkins. Oh, you guys. No, you can't eat Maverick. You cannot eat. No, don't eat on the pod. Give me a fruit snack. Alex, don't throw him the snack. Alex, don't throw him the snack. For the sake of content, don't throw him the fruit snack. No, for the sake of the content, do not throw him the fruit snack. Alex, you know what to do. I'm not going
You're like, you don't even realize you do it. I'm Travis, you're Mahomes. I'm your boss too! Come on. No, I'm saying no. Hey, am I a boss? Yeah. I'll give you a raise! I'm a boss, am I a boss? I'll fire you! Okay, well, anyways. Oh my gosh. I just realized, you're like the kids in New York. Oh, that's so loud. Yeah. So quiet.
Okay, pour them all in your hand at least so you don't hear the ruffling. Yeah, and then don't close your mouth. Smell them whole and don't smash. Can y'all just move on? Okay. No, because I just realized the trip you went on to New York, you're those kids I see in New York that all have the same color t-shirts on. Did you guys have the same color t-shirts? Yeah. Yeah, see? Guys, what are you doing? Hold on, we're playing a game. No, this... Wait, I gotta move my mic. Here. Oh. This is what's happening. Okay.
Throw me one, throw me one. Oh my gosh. Okay. No, no, no. Watch, watch. This is how you do it. Okay. You threw it down here. Just like that. Just like that. Last one though, guys. I didn't get any. Oh, I'm bad. Okay. You got to go like this. Ready?
Oh. What the freak? It's not too much. Okay. No, okay, back to the story. I'm in New York. Sorry I interrupted things. Okay, but wait, did you realize that? You know when you go to New York and you see all the kids walking around in the colored t-shirts? And jackets. That's, oh, jackets. Because it was cold. Yeah, no. Yeah, for cheerleaders, for the Macy's Day Parade. Oh. Yeah. So, yeah, I was also in the Macy's Day Parade if y'all didn't see me. Slight flex. No, but anyways, what happened was...
We were walking off the subway, and literally, when I tell you, literally when we walked off, my friend, she got her shoe taken off and thrown across the subway. Who took it off? A homeless man. Wait, what? Yeah. The homeless man just randomly came up. And he was also doing, like, he also had, like, a bunch of syringes in his hand for some reason. Okay. Well. Whoa. That took a turn. She said for some reason. No, I, I.
I don't know. Wait, wait, wait. I believe that she doesn't know. I believe she doesn't know. Wait, you actually don't know why? Well, he had a bunch of syringes like my growth hormones. Not like my growth hormones, but you know the ones at the doctor? They definitely were not growth hormones, Harper. No, the ones at the doctor where... We know what they are.
You don't know what it is. Well, maybe his pituitary gland doesn't work. Because mine doesn't. That's probably what it is. Yeah. No, and then I saw a bunch of them down in the subway. Oh, yeah.
Wait, why do you think they were down there? Wow, so all of New York has pituitary gland issues. Wait, wait, wait. Why were doctor needles in the subway? Doctor needles? Oh, probably because a bunch of doctors work there and stuff. I don't know. Yeah, they're just trying to keep everyone healthy. So there's just syringes all over New York City. Wait, I don't believe you. You saw syringes in the subway? Yes. Like, have you ever been to New York? Wait, wait. Why would they be there? Syringes with orange
caps and then a bunch of the orange caps were everywhere on the subway too. But why would syringes be in the subway? People were using them. For what? Their pituitary gland. Oh, they're sick or something? Yeah. No, I'm being so dead serious. I think they were probably sick. Like real in New York? Because a lot of everybody was coughing during the cold season. Oh, yeah. That's definitely what the syringes were for. Why are you making
Making it seem so dumb. Like, they had a cold. Yeah, no, they had a cold. I love having a 14-year-old on the podcast, man. This is great. No, but guess who I... Who'd you meet? Do you get that? No. Who'd you meet? You don't get that? It's an airplane. It's going right over your head. Who did you meet? What?
Okay. Oh, I met Boss Baby Brody. Who the heck is that? Boss Baby Brody? Does anyone know who this is? He was in my hotel. He has 5.7 million followers. Boss Baby Brody. And he was in your hotel? Harper, you realize you have 4 million followers? Does Harrison know about this? Oh, no. He's a 4-year-old kid. Oh. Boss Baby Brody's 4 years old? He's also gay. Okay, wait. He's not... Wait, 40 or 4? I won't get into that. 4. 4. And I think he's so cute.
I'll just leave that door closed. Let me show you. Let me show you. Well, I mean, I think he opened it. Oh, this kid? Got out somehow. Yeah, that kid. Aw. He's a cute little kid. He's the cutest little thing ever. I love today because today no one's mad at me for my jokes. What did he say? I didn't hear it. And I'm a happier human being. No, I think he's so cute. And he also wears Aviator Nation, the same brand that I wear. And we matched one day. Oh, he's preppy. Okay. He's preppy. Oh, he's preppy.
So I'm just going to revert the conversation back to where we started. A homeless man on the subway attacked you? Yes. No, no, not me. My friend. Oh, that was the shoe story? Yeah. Wait, did he push her down and take her shoe? What? How did he take her shoe? Oh, no. He just slid it off her. Like Cinderella stuff. It's not Cinderella. That doesn't happen. No, no. He went very zesty. Like he went...
So he grabbed your friend's shoe and threw it? Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's all. Well, what else happened in New York? So there's, when I went to the other subway, there was a lot of leafs. Leafs? Yeah. Nice! Yeah, I don't know why those would be there. I don't know why those would be there. I don't know why that would be there. A lot of leafs. Yeah, I don't know. I have no clue. It's fall. And I also went to Chinatown and I got a fake... Oh.
He's trying to sound like Donald Trump. China. China. No, I also got a... Oh, man, she does it better. Check your phone. China. China. China. China. Oh. Well, anyways. Maverick is sending secret text messages to Alex across the room. I just wanted him to get some behind-the-scenes content. Jeez. Why didn't you just ask him that? Behind-the-scenes content? You gotta do jiu-jitsu against each other.
Oh, nice. We'll get to what I just sent you. But yeah, I went to Chinatown, got a fake Dior purse. It looks very real. Nice. That's so on brand for China. Did you get me anything? Nope. But I got Harrison some stuff. But I'm probably going to give him his burr basket before this so I can say it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't just say things like that. No, y'all know what a burr basket is?
A burr basket? What the heck is a burr basket? Do you remember a boo basket at Halloween? Yeah. The boo basket? I didn't get a boo basket. No, you did not. At first, I thought they were booby baskets, but they're not. They're boo baskets. Yeah, the boo basket where it's like it's a themed basket. Like Halloween, it was a boo basket. And you got like themed Halloween stuff with like blankets and candy and just like stuff like that. It's like a gift basket. But now there's a burr basket, like the winter version. And I'm getting it for soon to be boyfriend. What?
What did you get him in his burr basket? Well, I've only got one thing, which is Christian Dior perfume. Is it fake? No. Oh man, I forgot to turn on that light. You got him perfume? Yeah. Or no, no, no. Cologne, cologne, cologne. You got him Dior cologne? How much was it? $139. What? It was on sale. Oh my gosh. It was on sale for Black Friday. It's a burr basket, not freaking... Is that his Christmas present?
No. His burr basket. Well, what's his Christmas present going to be? Are you getting him one? I would like a Christmas present from Harper. Hey, hey. You want to do like a Secret Santa? No. No. But yeah. I'll give you some. You give me some. But then he also really wants Uggs. So those are like. Wait, he wants Uggs? Is that a girl shoe? Yeah. Why does a man want Uggs? All the guys in my school have the Tasmanian black Uggs.
The guys in your school wear Uggs? Yeah. I told you they're trending. It's really nice. No, yeah, for guys. For women. No, I knew they were trending in high school. Yeah, but like for dudes? Yep. That's mad. No, no, no, no. Guys, listen. Is everything okay? Y'all didn't go to public high school. Y'all don't understand. No. The guys in public high school like to walk around and be goofy looking. And then they're like, bro, these are so clean. Bro, these are so clean. You know your husband? In high school, man walked around looking goofy as heck.
I know, he was a silly looking boy. Oh, yeah. Matt looked like the whole neon marker package together. I know. All of them. Whoa.
No, but like the kids in high school. Do I need to pull up some of your outfits? You had like every color of the rainbow. No. My personal favorite was the purple bandana. Yes. Yeah. My personal favorite was I bought an off-white belt that was off-brand. Oh, no, you did not. Wait, do you know what off-white is? Yes. Oh, yeah. I bought one that was like $10 on Amazon, and then I would wear it like this.
Everybody does that, right? At the time, a few people did, but it wasn't cool. One time, he was wearing his bandana across his neck, and it was one of the few times we saw each other in the year, so we were kissing. Put your mic down. Wait, hold on. Even further. Where is this going? It's fine. We were kissing, and he had his bandana on. Nice.
He had to stop kissing me to take his bandana off. Oh, that's a mood setter right there. Hold on, babe. That's embarrassing. Let me take off my bandana. That's for bandana. That matches Purple Converse and it's Purple's Cash at Maverick Baker t-shirt. He was wearing his own merch to kiss me. Wait, wait, wait. So, wait. You said Purple Converse.
Purple t-shirt. Absolutely not. And purple bandana. And a purple hat. And a purple hat. I was color coordinated. No, you were Barney. That's what you were. No, listen. I was matching. That's funny. Wait, there's no way you...
You're like, hold it. Yeah, he had to take his bandana off. What? It was a thing back then. Okay, at least I didn't have to take my Uggs off. Like, huh? That would be worse. Listen, Harper, how much are you going to spend on this man's Christmas present? Well, first of all, how much are you going to spend on the boo basket? If you already spent $130. The burr basket? Yeah.
Well, I'm just going to... That's his main... Sorry, I saw a fly. No, that's going to be his main... I saw a little fuzz in the air. No, I saw a little kernel of dust. That's going to be his main gift. That's going to be his main... Why are you flaring your nostrils at me? Flaring? How do you flare your nostrils? Like this. What you were just doing. Yeah, that. Breathing? He was staring at me like this. I was... This? Wait, this... Wait, hold on. Y'all call this flaring your nostrils? Yes. Yes.
Yes, I do. Okay, wait, wait, wait. That's a breathe. Oh, okay. That's a breathe. Oh, what is he doing? No, but I was... So that's going to be his main gift. Then I'm going to ask his friends, like, what's his favorite candy and all that. And then I'll get that from, like, the dog. Can you not flare your nostrils at me? You're freaking her out, dude. Just don't look at him. I'm breathing. So anyways, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. No, so basically, I'm just going to ask his friends what is his favorite candy. And then...
I don't know. After that, maybe get him some fake Uggs. What are you going to get him for Christmas then? He got his other girlfriend like a James Avery necklace, so I'm hoping he gets me that. But if he does get me...
He has two girlfriends? No. She's talking about last year. She's talking about last year. You know when he got his ex-girlfriend? Yes. Okay, by the way, next time say his ex-girlfriend, not his other girlfriend. Yeah, that's not good. She said his other girlfriend. He got her. No. No, that's called an ex. I mean, like, he got his ex-girlfriend, Kendra Scott Necklace, James Avery. Like, he got... Went all out? Harper. Yeah. Wow.
You don't need, Christmas is not about gifts. Yes, it is. No, it's 100%. No, it's not. It's about family. No, it's not. No, it's also not about family. It's about Jesus and his birthday. Obviously, it is, like, on the 25th. Wait, I'm so confused because, like, low-key, what even is the whole gift-giving thing? Like, no other person in the world, it's their birthday, and then we all get gifts. Yeah, but he's dead, so how are we supposed to get him gifts?
He's not dead. His Holy Spirit's still on earth. Why is everyone clapping? Mispronunciation. That's not mispronunciation. Well, it was miss something. My God's not dead. He's surely alive. Wait, is that right? His Holy Spirit's still on earth? For only three days. Yeah, the Holy Spirit's here. Have you seen the Holy Spirit? Guys, what do you think happened? I actually think about it often. His body was just gone.
Well, 500 people saw it. Wait, technically he's dead.
No. I stand firm on my faith. No, no, no. He's not dead. He is dead. Jesus. Okay. Where is... Jesus was the human form. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. No. Let me ask you this. I'm standing right here. You're looking at me. And I say, hey, dog. I'm going to go to heaven. And I just floated away. I totally say Matt's dead. No, you're not. Matt is 100% dead. He's not alive. No, I didn't leave. I didn't die. I left. Yeah, he's just not here. I left. No, he's not dead. If you just floated aside. If I die. Yep.
If I died, where's my body? If you, if you play this, you'd be like, yep, Matt is dead. No, it's mine. Okay, tell me this. Tell me this. Where's our great, great grandpa? In heaven. Uh, his bones are in the ground. And where's his spirit? His spirit is independent. Depending on what type of man he was. I mean, who knows? But like, he's in one of the two places. So, is he dead? Yes, he died. But that's not fair. His body is dead. His soul is alive. Yeah. Uh,
So if he went up there and Jay and big Jay went up there, big Jay, who's that? Jesus. Oh, if they both went up there, thank you for the cloud. How is that? That Jesus isn't dead, but grandpa dead.
Because Jesus is special. Because Jesus was alive. He never died. Yeah. He didn't. Well, technically he died and he left. Like I said, he left. He left. Grandpa didn't just leave. Is Mary the only virgin on earth? Grandpa did not just leave. Well, Mary probably wasn't a virgin. What? No, no, no, no. What the? She's a virgin.
No, no, you didn't hear her question. What did she say? I asked, is Mary the only virgin on earth? And I was trying to say Mary probably wasn't a virgin later on in life. Oh, well, when she had Jesus, she was. When she got pregnant, she was a virgin, yeah. Wait, but how does that happen? How does what happen? God did it. So technically, you can be pregnant. God did it? So technically, Kate can't be pregnant. Wait, so is there any other virgins on earth? Is Mary the only virgin that lived that had Jesus?
Yes, she's the only one that gave birth to Jesus. Wait. No, she said she's the only virgin who got pregnant. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Wait, but what about... Never mind. That's way too deep. Jane the Virgin, that show. Jane the Virgin? That's just about a woman who's a virgin. That doesn't mean you give birth to Jesus.
No, but the whole show was about this girl. She went to her doctor. It's a really messed up storyline. I never watched it, but I've seen it. No, I remember because I was like, what in the world is happening? But there's these two girls. You know how when they do IVF, they have the embryo and they literally implant it in you? This girl was a virgin and the doctors mixed it up and they implanted the embryo into her. So she got pregnant even though she had never done anything. And so that was the whole storyline though. It was James' virgin. That's low-key kind of...
Kind of like interesting if I'm going to say so myself. So a virgin can be pregnant? Yes. Wait a second. I guess. Yeah, technically, yeah. Yeah. So. So what was it? Well, this is throughout the whole story about Mary. Even a miracle at this point? Oh my gosh. No. I think Mary was just, never mind. Had an implanted embryo. I also, I contract my statement on that Jesus is dead. Yeah. And grandpa's dead. So they're, okay, I say this thing.
No one dies. What? Okay. No. Bang, bang. What happened to you? I left. No. You're not dead. No, because your body is still here. Your soul left, but your body is still here. This. Listen, listen. You want to know something interesting? How are we talking right now? This could be incorrect, but I'm pretty sure it's right. You...
If you die right now, I don't think you just go straight to heaven. No, yeah, you'd suffer. There's a transfer phase. I think. I think. You'll be able to have a sense of the time. Can you stop saying I think? I don't like you saying I think. I just think you'll have a sense of the time that has lapsed. But, like, essentially, I think we all go to heaven at the same time. Yeah, you just got to wait, like, five business days. There's no Amazon Prime in this. Wait. Wait.
confused no i'm pretty sure it says the dead will rise right unless yeah wait no you're telling me i could be don't quote me on that i don't wait because it also says every knee will bow but like together no that's the people that are alive no no everyone's so off track listen listen we're throwing off guys no no first of all so you're saying this doesn't make no no no i i
Oh, I'm so smart. No, listen. No, grandpa is in heaven right now. Okay. Because people are in heaven right now because it says then at the end of times, it says God will make a new heaven and a new earth. Yeah. At the end of time. How do you know he's not doing that right now? Well, it says, it says at the end of time, he'll make it. Then, then there'll be a new heaven and a new earth. So after this earth is destroyed, there'll be a new earth.
Okay, so answer my question. So right now this is very deep theological, and I don't think people care to listen to this, but I want to sum up one thing. How do you know we're in heaven right now, and we're not just waiting for the new heaven to be built and go there? Well, we're not. Oh, wait. How do we know we're not in heaven right now? No, like when you die. Oh. When I die, how do I know what? How do we know we're not dead? How do you know you're not going to get sent to the new heaven? It's not just a loading screen. It's not just something like dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Okay. What time is it?
Bible says they're not done with construction yet. You don't have like a concept of time. Right, so how do you know? But you're saying you go to like a pregame lobby in heaven? No, you go to heaven, which is a pregame lobby. No, it's heaven. Okay. But later on, God says he'll build a new heaven and a new earth. Because I did a play at my church and it said, kids under construction. And they're talking about heaven. Kids under construction, maybe the paint is still wet because God is still creating heaven. Yeah, software upgrade. Software upgrade.
If you don't check your phone at night. So that means God is helping me get my phone in check, right? Something like that. Okay. So moving on. Wait, so. I think that there are some things that we just can't comprehend. Because we're not God. I can't comprehend why you guys would get married at 18. Oh, shoot. Yeah, why? I needed a paycheck. Oh. Oh, there it is. I'm sorry. What?
I'm going to leave now. Wait, guys. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Wait, so what was the real reason y'all got married at 18? Why so early? Wait, no, no. We don't need to talk about this because this is for a different podcast for a different time.
Why? This is for when... Come back later when we talk about why we really got married at 18. No, actually, tell us right now. Well, I can't tell you right now because we're going to make a thumbnail and a title called Why We Got Married at 18. Oh! Wait, are we doing another podcast after this one? No, not today. Oh. Another day. For another time. Harper, listen. I don't think... I feel like you and this Harrison guy... Yeah? I feel like you're cutting him too much slack. I feel like he's not...
I mean, keep going. Sorry. I don't mean to cut you off. I just feel, oh, he made a TikTok about you? Yeah. Oh, that's adorable. Listen, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't think he's taking this as serious as you are. No, he is. Is he? Mm-hmm. Is he really? No. No.
No. Because he will be publicly humiliated if he's not. Well, no, we're not going to publicly humiliate him. No, we're not going to, but someone else will. Who? Who? Who? Me? Yeah, you. Yeah, I will. No. Oh, okay. No, don't publicly humiliate anyone. Well, I will if he doesn't like me. No, you won't. You'll turn the other cheek. Does Harrison go to church? Yes. He went to church with me once. So. It's romantic.
I'm kidding. He didn't. That was crazy. No, because I'm planning on asking him. Oh, no, but he does go to church. Yeah, he does. So, okay. I just, I just, I really can't get past how much money you were spending on him. That's what really, that's bothering me still. You want to know? You want to know? I got a story for you. Story time. Well, what do you
Let me go in on details on this. I know all about this, Harper. Listen, I've spent thousands of dollars on girls. Oh, and I tried to tell him. Oh, did I try to tell him? How much money have you spent on your wife? Not much. Not very much. No, no, no. The difference is she's my wife. He was doing it for girlfriends. Listen, Harper, I bought...
I literally helped buy cars for girlfriends. I helped. That can't be good, man. Yeah. Clothes, dresses. Oh my gosh. Harper. One time he was looking at dresses. They were like $400 dresses. And we were like, what are you doing that for? Like, why are you buying a $400 dress? He was like, oh, I'm just going to like take her out to dinner. And I did her. Did you hear that?
a dinner one he bought four road trips for one dinner on top of that the dinner was gonna be like one two hundred dollars which i'm completely against by the way um i don't know why any human should ever spend more than i'll give you max fifty dollars a plate yeah max fifty dollars a plate no hold on let me i gotta get drinks ew your butt in that yeah what you don't like my butt
No, actually, I float in that chair. Let me tell you something. If you ever go on a date, so two people, if there's two people and that bill is ever over $100, many times that's happened to me. You got scammed. You are scammed and got. Got. You have been got by the
Restaurant. Restaurant. And they sold you... They said, come to our restaurant. We're fancy. We cook the steak better. No, they don't cook the steak better. Listen, you gotta understand. I'm not God. You are. My girlfriends have been God. Okay. And they enjoy that. Okay, Maverick. So I would take them out there. Okay, Maverick. I mean, I want to do the most... Have you ever seen me go there by myself? How much...
How much is the most you've ever spent on a date? Like beginning to end, like everything? No, no, no, no. Like a restaurant, like the meal. Like the whole bill. Wait, no, no. I want to hear a date too. I want to hear both prices. Okay. First start out with the meal. On a meal, probably like $250. Oh! Oh!
For two people? For two people. How did you spend that much without getting drinks? You get steaks. You get dessert. You get an appetizer. Guys, that's easy. Yeah. It's really not that hard when you go to a nice restaurant. Bro, we've been sitting at a high rise looking over the city on the edge of this glass building. It'd be nice. Yeah, that's pretty nice. Yeah. I mean, I guess if it's nice. I mean, in Las Vegas, my family had pretty nice dinners, and we tried to treat ourselves, right?
Yeah, but your family's rich, Harper. That's different. No, no, listen. Maverick, if you spent $250 on a dinner, you realize you could have went on like four, five dinners? Yes, but to the girl, the girl. Listen, like I said, me personally, I'm totally fine going to freaking Starbucks and just getting a lemon cake and calling it a day. It's a lemon loaf. Okay.
Okay. So I actually had one of those yesterday. But the girl loves, the girls just always love to get dressed up. It makes them feel special. It makes them feel important. Yeah, it does. I get that. I do. I like 100% get that. It's not for me. You got to understand that. And this is why I married Kate. Say what you're about to say, whatever it is. I hope I'm right. She said she gets it. No, I get wanting to get dressed up and go out to a nice dinner and feel special. And it ends there. And now. No, no, no, no, no, no. But. But.
I wouldn't be like, oh, I need a new $400 dress for this dinner. I need it. No. I'd say, we're going to spend $200 on dinner. You wouldn't. But imagine Cash shows up with a nice dress and he's like, hey, put this on. But you weren't like that. It was she wanted the dress. No, I did that. That was me. She didn't ask for the dress? No. I feel like Kate wouldn't like that either though. Okay. Well, one, because I have a concept of money.
I can acknowledge that a $400 dress is absurd and I don't need that for one dinner. I would say, what are you doing? Return that. But if you pay with math, it's a lot cheaper. I mean, if you pay with cash. No, I just know that I have a lot of expensive dresses in my closet that I hardly wear. Yeah. And I would say, Cash, why would you need that? Why do I need that? Like, I have so many nice dresses. See, this girl had a lot of dresses, too. That's what a normal human says. This girl had like three closets full of dresses. What? Like Sherry Hill. Like, it was probably really not necessary. Okay, I want to take it back. I'm not talking about the dress. But it didn't make her feel good.
I'm talking about the meal. Would you feel satisfied, Kate, if I took you on a date and we spent $250 for one meal? I would feel really guilty, honestly. That's what I'm saying. I would feel really bad. I didn't feel guilty. That steak was delicious. Oh, $250 for a steak. I surprised my girl. Yeah, think about how...
Think about how far that $250 could win Africa. Listen, let me explain this to you, all right? That's literally all I think about money. Africa, my friend. Pre-date. You ever watch Mr. Beastful Empathy Channel? Okay, all right. For real. Listen, just to get perspective, like that date in particular, I don't even know if that was my most expensive date I've went on, but that date was about $300 for the dress. Okay. Okay.
And then picked her up and we valeted the car. So that's another like 20. You valeted a car? Oh my gosh. You valeted a car? I mean. Why would you not walk? Bro, because it's a long walk. Yeah, something. They did that on purpose. Three blocks? She got heels on and it was cold. It was winter. Take them off.
valet in a car is wild dude whoever pulls up to the valet and goes you know whoever pulls up to the valet and goes i'm gonna use it no do you use valet only a few times it's different for me yeah if you're unloading gear for an event okay yeah unloading gear i'll pass do it if you need it because you have like a bunch of stuff to unload for a walk
Help me walk. No, man. I get you want the whole night to feel special and stuff. Yes. All right. So listen. So we're $300 in for the dress. Then we got...
We got a reservation at a nice restaurant. Wait, which one was it? 250. Was it Perry's? I think this one was Perry's. Yes. 250. 300. 550. So. Plus valet. 560. No, no, no. There's more. So we're at like 550. And then. No, 560. Wait, 550 already? Well, we're at 250. We're at like 300 for the dress. We're at like 200-ish. 200-ish for the. All right, 250 for the meal and valet.
Okay, that's probably about. So then, no, that's about, yeah, 550. Okay. And then we went to the movies.
so the date goes on yeah so then that was probably like another like yeah the movies i know and then you know i i splurged the movies like i love yeah movies 50 for you the movie's about the experience for you so that's another 50 bucks at least 600 600 what about the gas it was an electric car so we're good there um well yeah he charges that he charges at my house so i pay for half his gas yeah
And your wife uses half the water and electric. All right, so $600. Let's see. Sorry, I didn't mean to be like your wife. That was wrong. Continue. That's pretty messed up. Yeah. Six something. So we're at $600. I'm trying to think if there was anything else. I don't think I bought her earrings or anything for that one. You know the most I've ever spent on a date?
I don't even know. How much would you say? How much? I can't even think about like our most expensive date. Because I don't think we've been on one. I think we've only been on a normal date. Well, Hillside's pretty expensive. It's like $15 a meal. Oh. Yeah, that's like. I thought it was a nice. It does feel nice. No, we go in there. Doesn't it feel nice? It feels really nice. We go in and we're like, this is like, it feels like a high-end restaurant. Every time we go in there, we're like. The first time I went there,
there with my family. It was like right when it opened, I was like, whoa, this must cost like $100 per person. Yeah, no, it's only like $15. But it's so normal. But it feels really nice in there. Let me put this in perspective for you. You paid that much for one night. That was literally a five-day carnival cruise for one person. And you're trying to tell me it was special. It was about the experience.
I didn't say it. It was a waste of money. Okay. Yeah. Listen, first off. First off. And you're not even with the girl. Look. Look.
about what I'm getting to. Biggest waste of money I've ever seen. That's the whole point to bring it around full circle. Did she pay you back? Full circle. You're spending too much on Harrison. No. Because listen here. At least you're using your own money, right? Yeah. I didn't have the decency to do that. I was 13 years old and I was with my 13-year-old boyfriend and I found out he was getting me a James Avery ring and it was probably like... Was it him? No. Oh. It was...
It was probably like a 70, $80 ring. And that was like really nice when you're in eighth grade. Like what 13 year old girl needs an X ring like that from her boyfriend. So I was like, mom, like I have to match this. I have to do, I have to do better, but I had no money. And I got him like an NBA Jersey that was like $120 and I didn't have any money. And so my parents paid for it. And my mom was like, we really just like, can't be spending that much on boyfriends and stuff. And I was like, Oh, but we have to, that's so guilty. But because I literally,
was like because it was like oh he's gonna make fun of me if i don't spend that much or he's gonna like talk about it to his friends and i was like i don't want to be embarrassed and my mom was like what if we got him something else that's like not as expensive and i was like nope has to be a has to be a jersey and then we broke up you know but you got him the jersey i still got it it was like that's crazy because i remember the ring recently you got cash a jersey
But that was my own money. But yeah, with your own money. And then he thought it was too expensive. So... Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Kate randomly surprised me. It wasn't for my birthday or anything, right? It was random? Yeah. Kate randomly came home and surprised me. Well, he had left for a week and I was like, I'm going to surprise him. And we were dating. Yeah. We're dating. We're dating.
I left somewhere for a week to come back. Kate randomly surprised me with a hockey jersey. And I've seen this hockey jersey at the store, and I was like, I've always told Kate, like, man, I want that jersey, but it's way too expensive. How much was the jersey? It was like $200. It was like $200. Yes, $200. And I always told her how much I wanted, but I was like, I could never spend $200 on a shirt. We didn't have a shared bank account at the time. We were still dating. We were dating. And then I come back, and she gets me the jersey, and I was like...
Oh. You spent $200 on this jersey. And I was like, thank you so much. He was not happy. But... He was like, aw, thanks. And then I asked if we could return it. Yeah, we returned it. And we returned it. Why? Because I didn't... I know. I know it's bad. You could have messed up. Someone got you a nice gift and you just... Because I didn't... I didn't... I just like... I was like, $200 is way too much for a shirt. On the contrary, I wish my girlfriends were like that. Yeah.
Yeah, Madrigal's always like throwing hundreds out. I bought like half my girlfriend's car. Yeah, me and Kate went back and we returned the jersey because that was like $200. I was like, I'm not going to get $200 worth from this shirt. For wearing it, yeah. I was like, I'd rather go spend $200 and go get eight shirts. I'd rather go do that. Yeah, but that was also before I was really like, I don't know. Yeah, and then because I noticed something, I was like, hmm.
kate does not have a concept of money so i was like i got an idea i was like i'm not gonna pay for her anymore oh which is something you should catch on to yes yes never pay for women yeah don't pay for women big scam no but i always paid for everything for kate when we were because when we were dating like i'd always pay for the days and everything blah blah and then i got to a point where we would go we'd be going through a drive-thru and i would say we need two orders
And I make her pay for hers and me for mine. That's kind of crazy. And sometimes I would make her pay for mine. Oh. Oh, that's even more crazy. I mean, that makes sense. Because I wanted her to know about money because she never had a job. But it sounds like you just took advantage of her. You're like, and then I made her pay for mine. No, I make her pay for mine sometimes or instead of splitting it, I pay for her and both of us and she pays for both of us. Wait, but how over your...
She was like 15, 16. Okay, that makes sense. And she was like you. She was getting money from the internet. And I was like, I don't feel like she has a concept of money. And she hasn't had an actual job. But you didn't have a concept of money because you were like spending $800 at the mall every day. Yeah. When he was younger. Yeah, when I was your age. That's why I was like, Kate can't be doing that. Because I went through that phase where I blew all my money.
It was so much money. I know. I would go to the mall and drop like $800. You guys seen those machines where there's a bunch of money flying around and you try to grab it? That was Cash's wallet, but it was just coming out. Wait, do you regret it a lot? Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. But that's why I didn't want her to go be blowing money because she's making more money and she's never had a job and she didn't understand what money was yet because she was young. So I was like, she's got to understand what money is.
I agree, and it did teach me. I was like, dang, this, like, I spent this money. He dripped up the stairs again. Yes, he did. No way, bro. Alex is always tripping up the stairs. Alex won today. It never fails. Okay, but to bring it back full circle, you don't need to spend that much money. No, that's insane. Especially on someone who's not your boyfriend. Awesome. That's crazy. Yeah, no, I...
I know from personal experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maverick got scammed harder than anybody else did. Yeah, I have a thing. Beautiful women want something and I'm just like, sure, I'll buy it. I'm the complete opposite. I'm like, nope, not if it's money. That's mine. You guys are fighting something else. Wait, but actually...
Cash, you make yourself sound so, like genuinely you sound like so rude on the podcast. People, literally people are like, does Cash really act like that? No. No, I'm misunderstood. I'm misunderstood. I first saw Famous Birthdays. Cash, Cash don't talk like that off the podcast. I'm misunderstood. What do I talk like off the podcast?
I got the podcast? Like a normal person. I think he talks worse, actually. No, because I posted it on the podcast. Yeah, at any rate, I feel like I'm censored on here. But I love the flattering words. No, when I was, the other day, I was taking, I set my phone up and I was taking a video. I was taking my makeup off and Cash just starts talking about how if I got shot, I would be more protective because I have breasts and he doesn't. And I was just like- You think a breast don't stop a bullet? Oh, 100%. No. No, no, no. I mean-
I was just talking in our room and then I get on TikTok later and she posted the conversation. And I was like, you were filming this? And I was scrolling TikTok and all I hear is, do you think your boobies would stop a bullet? I was like, why would you post that? But the thing is, I saw a TikTok where a breast implant was crushed by a car, but it didn't get crushed. Let me tell you something. Wow. If I'm going to shoot you in the chest, Mav,
Would you rather throw a boob on top of that or are you chilling right now? I'll take the boob. Yeah, you take the padding. Someone in the comment section was talking about how someone they knew had gotten shot, but because she had a boob, it was like millimeters away from her heart and it would have killed her if she didn't have it. Imagine... Okay, hear me out. You know how girls get...
Breast implants. What if we got like breast implants? No. What if we got like bulletproof vest implants? That'd be very heavy. Like abs. Yeah. Like bulletproof abs. Like bro. Shoot me in my abs.
Just, just, that'd be crazy. Like metal abs. Should we do it? It's hard to break the skin. That would hurt. It would still hurt, but like, you'll be okay. That is true. But you'd be, you'd be very front heavy. Or, hear me out, you could just get a bulletproof vest and just put it on when you need it. You gotta wear that all the time. And then people see it. Like this way, it's like, you can pretend like you're dying. Like, oh no, I'm shot. Ha ha! Ha ha!
Gotcha. Yeah, and then as we figure it out, and then grab the gun and then shoot them. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Anyways. Especially with the war coming. No, guys, actually, like, what's it called? I literally have had a dream last night, and it's a reoccurring dream that always happens where a little old granny starts running and her legs start spinning like wheels.
Like a cartoon? Man, it's scary. Yeah. Man, it's scary. Like Bugs Bunny. Like Bugs Bunny. Man, it's scary. No, no. Like Bugs Bunny. I swear to you. She's so concerned. No, it was so scary. And then it was her birthday. So we had a lot. Is this a reoccurring dream? Yeah, yeah, yeah. One night I'm just going to show up at your house dressed like Granny. I'm going to be like. No.
No, but it was her birthday, and her caregiver was like, yeah, I think she's in her room because she's like my neighbor. And she was like, oh, yeah. In your dream, right? Yeah, in my dream. And she was like, oh, yeah. Her caregiver was like, oh, yeah, I think she's in her room. So I walked to her room. There's a bunch of banners with like happy birthday signs and stuff. She's like, I think she's in her drawer. And in my dream, it's like, oh, yeah, like that's normal and stuff.
I open her drawer. She's a slinky with a head on top of it. Oh, my gosh. The details. And then I start running, and I look behind me. I see her, like, spinning as fast as I can. I run out of the house. I run to my door. I shut her fingers in the door. They start wiggling around like worms when they get their heads cut off with their show alive. And then I sit on the front of my island. Wow. Bro, I had the same dream. Okay.
Yeah. No, but the other day when we were in Oklahoma, Cash's parents have like a train track that go across their like property and stuff. So the train comes. That thing, usually I like, if it wakes me up, I'm just like, oh, it's the train. I woke up at like 4 a.m. This was funny. I was freaking out. She wakes me up. She goes, what is happening? What?
She's literally shaking. She's like, what's happening right now? What is happening? I was like grabbing cash and I was like shaking. I was like, something's happening. What is happening? I literally thought. She didn't know what a train noise was. I literally,
we were under attack because i thought like the train the war came early the train was showing up and in my mind like the train was coming to get us it derailed it's just coming for you yeah i just i will say when i lived in my house in oklahoma and we lived right next to the railroad tracks i would have dreams sometimes the train's going off but i'm dreaming and i'm dreaming that i'm like getting hit by a train yeah that's right no but i would have dreams that it derailed playing dodgeball with it trying to get out of the way no you know what happened guys um
or two nights ago, my mouth started watering up really bad and then I threw up. Oh, I hate it. Oh, like acid reflex. Yeah. He calls it hot spit. I didn't know what that was until I was like... Acid reflex? Yeah. Well, last year.
No, I literally didn't. I was describing to everybody what I was having. It's like, guys. When did you have it? Like a year ago. No, because I had acid reflux like almost, no, almost like every month it happens because if I don't like swallow like ibuprofen or any type of pill all the way, it starts like making a, like a really bad like sensation. Oh gosh. And then it makes your acid go up your esophagus. No, no, no. And then you start burning and your heart hurts.
I was talking to my mom and mom and I was like, guys, I have hot spit. My spit is hot. It doesn't feel good. Did it hurt really bad? And they're like, what do you mean you have a hot spit? I'm like, I have a hot spit and I feel like I'm about to throw up. It's coming from my throat and my spit is hot. They're like acid reflux. And I was like, maybe. No, it's hot spit. I just told you. I don't think I've ever had that. Like I can't.
That's so weird. I get it all the time. I go through Tums, dude. Well, you probably go through it all the time because you eat so many milkshakes. No, Tums make me have acid reflux. Well, no, they don't. Yes, they do. No, because the only thing I could compare it to is when like
I throw up and it feels like that. And it's spicy. Yes. So if you're laying down and you're getting massive reflux, it feels like you're about to throw up. And the only way I can stop it is if I sit up and go drink water and then still sometimes I feel like I'm still allowed to throw up. Do you throw up from it? Isn't it sweet? No. I just take Tums. Wait, but you don't ever throw up from it? I've never thrown up from it. No, I've never thrown up from massive reflux. I don't understand. They're so chalky. They're kind of good. I kind of love them. Yeah, I could snack on those things. Tums?
Bro, I could take those to the movie theater and just... They taste like Skittles. They taste like Skittles, kind of, but more subtle. Have y'all ever had Smarties? You have a giant Smartie. I don't even like Smarties. I feel like you would have the same effect. But I like the chewy kinds. I don't like the hard kinds. But you like the hard ones. I like the chewy ones, too. I like both. I like both.
I don't think I've had them. They scare me. Really? Same with Pepto-Bismol. What the freak is that stuff? Oh, the pink liquid. I could drink that whole thing in a day. The pink drink? Oh, that stuff ain't it. Oh, is it the drink? I do not take liquid medicine. Liquid medicine's a no-go. You have to. It's not safe. The ibuprofen liquid, I take it. You take liquid medicine? No. Yeah. Ibuprofen liquid? No, especially
for your ear infections? Yeah, why is liquid medicine always pink and bubblegum flavor? That's never good. Because it's meant for kids. I love it. So who wants a bubblegum? Why do kids walk around drinking bubblegum flavor drinks? No, I want to drink bubblegum. You have to take Pepto-Bismol. I cry. Why don't they make it like Coke flavored? I don't know. I literally don't know why. I don't know and it stresses me out thinking about it. Yeah, or just like something general like cherry. Lemonade.
Yeah. No, dude. The thing about Pepto-Bismol, though, is that it's so thick. Yeah. Like, why is it so thick? Yeah, it's like you're drinking freaking syrup. Yes! And it's pink, and it's bubblegum, and it's like all the things, and it's... No. No. If you have to take Pepto-Bismol, I feel so bad for you. You know, the worst medical thing, though, is sticking a COVID test up your nose. Yeah, it scratches my frontal lobe.
It's pretty nasty. Yeah, your frontal lobe. I've never had to have it before. I've never had to get one. You've never had a COVID test? I've never had COVID. Or a flu test? No. Or what? What?
A flu test. No, but I do put Q-tips in my nostrils. I've never had a flu test. Well, that's not as severe. Yeah, I know. That's like the farthest it goes. Oh, I can't imagine going farther, though. No, it goes far. We were in Mexico, and we had to get a colic test. No, wait. Let's tell the story another time. No, but I have like a little short story. You guys, guess what? Guess who called me? Who? Gavin Mungus. Oh, my gosh. Wait. Yeah. What happened with that? Yeah, he called me. What did he say? He was like, who do you think will win the fight? And I was like, me. Me.
Wow. Yeah. But obviously, like, obviously I'm not going to say Piper will win. Yeah, you can't say that. Because I'm my own person. Wow. Do you think she would win? But...
No. How long was the call? I don't know, really. It was like 10 minutes. But I really don't know. I'm kind of second-guessing myself. Like, I don't know. By the time this podcast goes out, y'all might have already fought. Yeah. I'm really excited. No, because it's going to break the internet. It already has. It's going to break the internet. Actually, no, it hasn't. Not as much as Kate being pregnant has broke the internet. How are we doing on that? No, I mean, like, has Italy's child been like, no, I...
How great would it be if Cash and NLE Choppa fought? Dude, I want to fight NLE Choppa so bad. NLE Choppa will break you. I would love to fight NLE Choppa. I don't know, Harper. I kind of think Cash would win. I would love to fight NLE Choppa. Cash's shoulder is fucked up. Yeah, but I'm sure NLE Choppa ain't perfect either. Both of my shoulders are freaked up from boxing. NLE Choppa is kind of small. You know what I love, though? You know what I love? No one would ever expect that I would want to fight. If you go to my Instagram... Instagram...
So I feel like he'd underestimate me. He would. Cash is a fighter. I'm like, he would blind hand. I'm like...
I have a podcast. The LOL podcast. But under this t-shirt. He's a very disciplined young man. There are some bulletproof abs. No, there's not. Unfortunately, he has only two abs. He has two. Some bulletproof breasts. No, but no. A girl commented on my video. All you're doing is using Piper for clout and like trying because your views have gone low. You haven't gotten it exactly true. That is definitely true. It is true. We would not have called out somebody that is not of clout. No, I mean like. And you would not be
this podcast if you did not have clout. Exactly. And neither would me or Kate or Mav. Like, we wouldn't be real. We're all collectively using each other. Well, I mean, like, maybe. I guess so. Because, like, we are all famous in our own ways. He's like, we're all perfect. Wait, so you actually think you would beat NLE Choppa? 100% I'd beat NLE Choppa. So, right now, NLE Choppa's watching this. What are you saying? NLE Choppa, the thing is... NLE Choppa cashes money in penis. Sorry. Penis
say I will speak for him. No, no, I'm just being so genuine too. Even like, even if he just wanted to come over and fight completely off camera, just for the fun of it, I'd love to fight in Ali Choppa. I don't know. I love both. They're both like the same size, but cash is kind of a cash kind of a dog. I've seen him fight a couple of times. The cash kind of a dog. Listen, I would love to box, but I don't know. Italy chopper could have like a crazy background fighting. So many times fighting. Yeah. That's kind of what fighting is. He cries.
No, he doesn't cry at all. But he comes out on top.
I did win. With a shoulder injury that's been bothering him for months. He usually fights guys a lot bigger than him. I've never fought a guy that's even my size. And I feel like in Ali Chapa, if I believe so, he's either my size or a little bit smaller. What if you break his vocal cords? All the other guys I fought are like 30 pounds more than me. Your shoulder is messed up and so are your wrists. He'll be fine. He'll be fine. Yeah, I'll fix those. I'll fix those. No, don't call him out. Just wait until you see me. Walk it down. Yeah. No, seriously. No, stop. Stop.
Literally. I DM'd him though. He never answered. No, but like. He might have to answer now. Yeah. No, Inalichapa. Answer me. Little fake blonde is calling him out. Yeah. Yeah. Listen. You. Look at you, Inalichapa. Oh.
And look at me. Oh, no. Listen, obviously, everyone's going to be on your side. So, why don't we just box? No, because it is true. If Nelly Chapa loses to you, his whole rap career is over. He got beat by a TikToker. He will never fight you. You would literally ruin his career. I will ruin his rap career. Nelly Chapa, please let me ruin your rap career. No! You're sassing me out!
No, let me say something in a leach off, but yo if he would box me. I'll bet him. I'll bet him $20,000 I Promise I know you know I will finally chop a $20,000 that I win thousand dollars. No you are a
the contract no no and i'm being so genuine like i will bet him 20k that i will oh my gosh i'm so excited for this to go out can we expedite this one let's go out next week please no but do you guys want to see what this girl said first of all her name is rainbow raquel that that's the username oh so rainbow raquel said girl you started this rumor for no reason you also lied about deeming piper first when you didn't your views were clearly low and you just needed something to help
with them so you thought starting stuff with Piper would help which it obviously did girl but it's not gonna last for much longer last time I checked you're unknown when it comes to Piper you're just another fan thinking you're way better when we really don't when we when really I think we get the point first off who names their kid Rainbow Raquel that's a weird name it's a username it's a username
Username, and it was a fan page. Piper Raquel. Thanks for explaining that to me, Kate. I didn't know. Wait, did you actually not know? Obviously, I knew that's not her name. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, I mean, like, seriously, Rainbow Raquel. Guys, I'm so stressed out now. Why? Because NLE Chopper. We're making 20 grand. I don't understand. Yeah, you just made 20 grand. I'm not, though. There's no way Cash loses. I might literally not have a husband that functions. Cash is going to make 20 grand. I've seen horrible things that happen to people who box. And he gets to punch NLE Chopper in the face.
I don't see the problem. No, I'm like stressing so hard. I genuinely don't. I don't see a problem. Wait, dude. What was that? I think that, okay. Is it over? No. You know when superheroes land and they punch the ground? That's what I wanted to do. Here's the thing. I boxed when I was like 16, got my butt whooped, and then ever since I boxed in, all I've done is won. All I've done is won. You're fine.
that don't know how to fight though. But either is, Iñalichapa don't know how to fight. I don't know how to fight. You don't know that. Neither one of us are trained on how to fight. What if he is? Listen, if Iñalichapa came out and said, I have 15 years of boxing under my belt, I'd be like, all right, maybe that's not the smartest fight. But to my knowledge, he is not a professional boxer. Well, you already bet him $20,000. And I'm not a professional. Yeah, but it has to be unprofessional.
Well, you didn't say that. I'll still fight him. You didn't say it in the contract. Dude, I just want to know in what world I can make a $20,000 bet and Cash not get mad at me for that. Well, it depends how solid of a bet it is. If the odds are like me and NLE travel boxing, then I love those odds. His career could just get started with that $20,000. No, no married couple. One of them can just say, let's box for $20,000 and then not ask the wife. Listen. What? You're supposed to respect your husband. Yeah. Yeah.
I don't respect a stupid decision. It's a business investment. No, I don't respect stupid decisions. Actually, it's an extremely low-risk business investment. Clearly, NLE Chopper, they're going to have to retract because he's got to go talk to his wife before he can make this. No, no, no. That is off. He's going to make way more than $20,000 off of these YouTube businesses. Dude, NLE Chopper, I will pay you more if you just ignore him. Wait, how much are we talking? All right. Thank you guys so much for watching this episode. We'll see you next time. Peace. Peace out, bro. Shock up.