Cash’s Funniest Moments!
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- I'm going to bite this screen protector. Glass is going to shatter.

inside my mouth. And then I'm going to swallow it. No. Okay, that's crazy. Don't swallow it. Hi, everybody. I'm Jay Lawler. I've teamed up with the Amavar Resort and Casino at San Manuel for their one-of-a-kind car giveaway. And on Halloween, October 31st, we're giving away my personal favorite muscle car, the Dodge Demon 17. Not only will the lucky winner drive off on this incredible ride, I'll give you a tour of my garage and show you some stuff that I think you might enjoy. So join us for this legendary car giveaway and a tour of my garage. Because if nobody wins...

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Here we go. Y'all think glass is going to get on my tongue? No. I think you're fine. Just bite it, bro. Okay, I'm going to do it now. Oh, he's so dumb. What an idiot. Y'all wouldn't let me do it, right? Do it. It's fine. It's safe. It's not safe. Here we go. It's totally not safe. I'm going to bite glass now. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Okay. It's plastic, bro. Crunch that baby. Come on. Get the canines in there.

Nothing's happening. Come on. Oh! I wish I knew what he was feeling. What an idiot. What an idiot. That was 30 seconds of my life. I will never get back. Ew. That's horrible for your mouth. Oh, that's got to be so bad for your mouth. Some particles got on my tongue, but I think I'm good. Do it again. Do a bigger bite. I'm okay, Harper.

I bet Mav can make Kate cry in probably 60 seconds or less. Over or under. That would be the bet. I'm not saying to do it. I'm pretty good at it. I'm not saying to do it. I'm just saying Mav is very talented at making Kate cry. It's a gift. It's a gift. It's a gift. Making women cry, honestly. What? They don't look at Mav and they cry. I don't know why, but it's not true. Yeah. I have the opposite effect.

I look at women and they get mad. They cringe. They run away. They get so mad. Oh, you make a lot of women mad. Everyone gets mad. Dude, in sad situations. But usually you say things like, yeah, I understand you're a female athlete, but I'm better than you at every sport. No. Like you'll say something crazy like that. No, I'm talking in sad situations. You have a toilet seat on your head? I'm sorry. That just feels inappropriate now. In sad situations, the only thing that comes to my head is,

And I mean so for real the only thing that comes to my head is comedy. Yeah. Yeah, we know hey, that's how you cope I don't know if it's coping. I think it's more suppression, but yeah suppression what i'm not suppressing none I think you do suppress things. What i'm not a woman. You can't just make me open up and cry But i'm not I don't suppress nothing. No, I mean, well you do what the you suppress things with comedy, but it's fine What do you mean? I suppress things with comedy. I mean, we all know that's been your coping mechanism since you were a child ask mom and dad No, no

Now our kid's just gaslighted. This is what gaslighting feels like. You know what's weird? Y'all are saying, like, kids in the bathroom. I never see a kid in the bathroom. I know. Like, in the men's? Yeah, me neither. Well, I know why Cash didn't use the bathroom at school. Wait, why did I not use the bathroom? Oh, no. What's going on? Okay. Wait. Oh, no. Oh, no. The kid did not wipe his butt till he... You needed help. Oh, no. Wait, wait, wait.

- He's a late bloomer on the wiping butt thing, okay? - So, when he's been at school, and at home he still needed help all the time, I'm like, "What do you do when you go to the bathroom at school?" He goes, "I don't poop at school."

I didn't put it back to school because I couldn't wipe my butt, okay? So I had to wait until I could get home so my mom could wipe my butt. I feel like that's a cow. I thought you were crazy. Mom, come wipe me. Wait, so how old was he when he saw you? That was preschool or kindergarten. He probably did that until five. That's crazy. Mom, come wipe me. Oh, my God. I'll tell you this. I was old enough that I remember having to call my mom to somebody. That's terrifying. That's terrible. I do remember that. I remember having to open up the door of the house and be like, Mom! Mom!

I need you to wipe me. You would say that? As long as you can get away with it, I mean, why do it? I'm going to try it now. I'm going to be like, K! K! You know, if you needed it, would you wipe my butt if I needed it? Yeah, exactly. What was the most disappointing thing Maverick ever did? Don't answer that. So...

I think everyone should please the fifth right final move on to the next question. What was the best thing I ever did? Oh, I know the best thing y'all ever did. Yeah, you bought us our challenge. Yes

Oh, yeah. That meant the world to us. Yeah, that's an easy one. So we had to buy their love. That's what they're saying. The best thing we ever did was buy them something. That's the best physical thing. It's just when you see your kids that were as young, all three of y'all were still very young at that age, and seeing that unselfish side of you, that made us proud. Seeing that you finally had the money and you were unselfish and did something for someone else. Well, Cash had wrecked the minivan.

Yeah, he did wreck the minivan the month before. I did total the car right before that. He totaled the minivan. But that's not a reason. But he has kept his car since he was 16, the little Toyota. Yeah, I haven't wrecked that one. The Chevy. There's Chevy. I did. Oh, yeah. I've wrecked that car. Yeah, I'm like so... Everyone kept saying, we literally...

We're at the car dealership and the guy's like, when we were getting another car, he was like, so what are you driving now? And Cash was like, oh, we're in a 2012 Chevy Cruze. And he was like, what are you still doing with that thing? Yeah, he goes, you want to trade it in? I was like, no, I don't want to trade it in. Yeah, he kept trying to get us to trade it in. I was like, come on, Cash, trade it in. Do y'all still have it? Yeah, that's good. We should wreck it in a video. What? We should. Like, I'm not joking. We should, like, actually wreck it in a video. Kate might be on board with that idea. Yeah.

Nobody likes my car. I'll let you. Really? Yeah. Will you let me drive it and then make it myself? Yeah, I'll give you the keys. No, no, no, no. One time Cash got mad at us and he threatened to call, turn us into Child Protective Services. Hey, something's gotta be done. Because we were taking away his cell phone. We were grounding him from his phone. Guys, this is what happened to me. Hey, I thought about it too. I think I tried.

You whipped me with a whip. Oh, and that never ever happened. Yeah, he hit me with a whip. Oh. I was there. That did not happen. That might have happened. I don't know. I mean, it wasn't like a bull whip. It was like a buggy whip. Buggy whip thing. And I went in and thought, oh, I was mad. I went in and I looked up, is it legal to whip your child? Is it illegal? Turns out it is. Okay. So.

Oh, you know, you could be in prison right now if I want to put you there. Okay? Is it illegal to whip your child? Well, I didn't say that. Is it illegal to take away your child's phone? It's not. It's ridiculous. I wonder if they literally get kids calling for stuff like that. Probably. Oh, that's actually crazy because I remember

I remember really thinking about calling a number, like Child Protective Services. He was so mad. He was so mad that day. You told me you said, I'm going to call Child Protective Services on you. And I said, oh, okay, go ahead and do that. Go ahead. See how that works out. I actually love for you to do that. We want to be there when you call and hear the reaction. You guys are going to believe this stuff. Are you ready for this? My parents.

Take away my cell phone. We'll jump right on that as we got kids being beat. Man, I'll tell you what. Cash was the kind of kid that would try to call Child Protective Services for anything he didn't want to do. I swear. I swear. We go hunting. He can't be in the woods. I'm in the woods. There's a weapon. All I want to do is go back to bed.

Cash never liked to go hunting. Me and Dad and Cash would go on hunting trips, and we had great times. I know what y'all are saying. The first trip was not a great... No. I had a great first trip. I had fun. Y'all were home the next morning. You were supposed to be out all weekend. Yeah. How old were they? Like four and six, five and seven, maybe? What did you expect from a five and six-year-old?

Well, yeah, I made the mistake of buying them. Every time I did this, though, I'd buy him a bunch of candy when we went. Yeah. Cash called the treasure chest. And we would camp. So I let him eat all the candy they wanted. And the next morning. No, talk about bedtime first. Oh, bedtime. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. We go to go to bed. I set up the tent and I got them in all tucked into their little cots and

And I said, okay, I'm going to go brush my teeth. I'll be right back. No, wait a minute. I'm going to back up. Maverick had already peed on the tent. He had already peed on the tent. I told him to go pee. He said he had to pee. I said, go pee outside. Do we know that that was me? I thought it was a cash kind of thing, too. Or no, that was cash. Yeah, it was a cash kind of thing. It was a cash kind of thing. I was like, don't pee on the tent. Anyways, I went to brush my teeth, and I come back. He's probably like, it's dark out. Do you want me to go out there? And I wait to get in the cot. They're both.

They're both still in bed, mind you, by now. Well, they were both tucked in, and I went out and brushed my teeth, and I come back, and they're tucked in again. Again, like nothing happened. I start getting stripped down to get into my sleeping bag in my cot, and Maverick's in there. They start dancing naked. Maverick goes, Dad?

Is your cot broke? And I go, no, son, my cot's not broke. Why would my cot be broke? And I'm looking at it. I'm going, why is my cot broke? Why is my cot broke? And he goes, well, me and Cash got up. Just while he was brushing his teeth. While I was brushing my teeth, me and Cash got up and we jumped on your cot. Jumped up and down on your cot and broke your cot. We thought you might want to sleep on the ground. So,

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I was irritated and I said, I had to throw the cot out and I had to sleep on the ground. Like us. Okay. Trying to put yourselves above us. That was not right. No, we had our own cots. You were still on the cot. I didn't sleep with you guys off the cot. You guys had a cot. We had our own cots. Yes. But we wanted to jump on his cot. Oh, I would have took my kid's cot so fast. You ripped my cot. Yeah, I wasn't going to do that to my little four-year-old and six-year-old. Oh, I would have. I'd have been like, you're sleeping on the floor. You're done. The fact that you were all tucked in, like you didn't do anything with it.

So the next morning we get up to go hunt and it's really cold so I took a sleeping bag with us and we get up in the deer stand and I stuck them in a sleeping bag. They're in the same world.

We're in the same sleeping bag. We're not laying down, though. We're sitting up in your stand. We're just sitting there. Well, they made all this candy. We're like Harper size or smaller. Besides the puke. And they're both in the same sleeping bag. Wait, who puked? Maverick's face was hilarious. Puking in the bag with both of us. So I'm trying to shove his head over the side, but Maverick's sitting there going...

I'm pretty sure I'm... You couldn't go anywhere. You couldn't go anywhere. You were stuck in the bag with him. That's funny. Yeah. Just stuck there. So anyways, after he puked me on the side of the deer stand, I said... No deer's coming. I said, you guys want to go back to camp? They go, yeah. We're going to jump on your cot. We take off and we're going back to camp. We still got two more cots to jump on.

And I packed up and went home. It's like a little mat that has legs that fold out so you're up off the ground while you sleep. It's like little army cots. And it's kind of like a trampoline. There's springs attached to it. Of course we're going to jump on it. They were fun boys to raise. Good times, good memories. Loved every minute of it. That's so funny. I got put over by a female cop.

And she was in front of me and I'm behind her. So obviously I'm like, all right, I'm going to go on the same speed. Yeah. I'm like, obviously I'm not going to pass the cop, but that'd be crazy. Like people that pass the cop on the highway. Crazy. Daredevils. Actually, I do that. If, if they are going 60 and the speed limit is 70, I will pass them going 70. Yeah. I'm not passing them. I will. No.

You pass him? Yeah. It depends on what car I'm in. I feel like the cops on the road like that, though, they're like, you ever seen the pace car for NASCAR? Where it's like all the cars are behind him until he gets off and it's like, go! It's like when he exits the highway, it's like everyone's like, go! Now! But anyways, so I'm behind her. Then she pulls over in the left lane, drops behind me, gets behind me. I'm like, oh, so that's how it's going to be.

And so then I'm making sure I don't speed. I'm like, all right, I'm chilling right here. And then she pulls me over. I'm like, what could she possibly be pulling me over for right now? I did nothing. I was just behind you. And then she pulls me over and said, you were speeding. I said, if I was speeding, I was behind you. Doesn't that mean you were speeding?

And she goes, "Well," this is what she said, "Well, I also pulled you over for tailgating." I'm like, "Okay, now you're just making stuff up here. "Never tailgated you, and you're just making stuff up. "You said it was speeding. "Why didn't you leave with tailgating?" And so your speeding's a lie? That's a lie? That never happened? - You argued with the cop? - I did, and then I went to court, never had to pay it. One time I was in a parade, and I popped a wheelie on my motorcycle in a parade with other motorcycles, but the thing is,

Thing is, all the other motorcycles were dirt bikes, and I had a street bike. They're all popping wheelies and whatever, right? I pop a wheelie. A cop pulls me off the parade and gives me a ticket. Everyone around him was like, boo, like booing the cop. And I was like, why are you giving me a ticket? Everyone else is doing it. And he was like, the parade line ended right there, and you popped the wheelie right here. It was like a 50-foot difference. I'm like, are you kidding me right now? 50 feet is a lot of feet. It's a lot. Mm-hmm.

And anyways, I went to court over that ticket too. Never had to pay it. But it wasn't marked.

Yeah, it wasn't March. It wasn't like this is where the parade ends. Yeah, the parade is still going. Yeah, everybody's still going. There's babies riding on top of cars. Like there's four wheelers all over the street. Like guys doing like donuts. Yeah. One time I'm working with my dad and we're out on a job working, you know, trying to pay bills for the family. I can't believe it. And we're about to wrap up. We were trying to pay bills for the family, but you were saving up to buy like Call of Duty. No, that's not true. That is true. And so dad, dad gets a call.

I like how he's hiding his toe. Oh, wait, never mind. Dad gets a call. Never mind, never mind. I am taking your son to jail. And I'm taking his motorcycle. I was the son. Yeah. Yeah. So, a cop...

I mean, by the way, dad acted mad when he got there. Dad was laughing so hard. So I was like, we thought it's hilarious you're going to jail. I know. Listen, I have a lot of cop stories because I got my motorcycle license when I was 14. And in Oklahoma, you get your license when you're 14 for a motorcycle. And, you know, being 14 on a motorcycle...

You're kind of a target, you know. You're a target and you're not smart, so you're going to wreak havoc on the entire town. You know, you got to pop wheelies, burn out, you know, do the whole thing. So...

I drove out of town into like the country and I get back to like these this like lake area It's like wooded and it's like around the lake. It's like curvy roads It's like trees everywhere and I get back there and I'm like I take off and I just start like using like a racetrack because no one's back there ever So I'm just like yeah using like a racetrack. I've never seen cash so scared in my life. That was so funny I can't Anyways And I have I have my my airpods in

And I'm just going. Got my AirPods in, vibing to music. And then a cop, I finally see a cop in my mirror. And he's got his lights on. I was like...

And I pulled over and it's cock because you're doing like what 50 and like a 20 knows Yeah, it's like 50 60 like a 20 mile an hour area So you're like 40 50 mile an hour over the speed limit. I'm zooming I get pulled over and this cop comes up to me and he's mad He's very bad because he thinks I was out trying to outrun him And apparently he's been chasing me for like a mile or two And I didn't know He's chasing him through the corner. So he's like trying to keep up. Yeah

Oh, we weren't as scared though. I'm imagining this cop trying to keep up with you. He's like, we got a runner. We got a runner. It's a small town. They've been waiting for a runner. And I know you, you're listening to freaking Ellie Golding. Yeah. And he gets up to me and he's really mad because he thought I was outrunning him. And then another cop comes from this side of the road. They called another cop to block me off.

Because they thought I was running, so they cut off the road. You were just listening to me. Yeah, and I was like, oh, I was vibing. I'm sorry, guys. Anyways, they were very mad. They called my dad. They said they were going to take me into the slammer. What's a slammer? They were going to book me. My whole back just, I can't move. Yeah, you can. I think you can.

So is that when you got arrested? Okay, I told you that. Set up straight. I can't. No, no, set up straight. What are you doing? Okay. I can't. I can't do that. Anyways, the guy was mad, and he's on the phone with my dad, telling me he's going to impound my bike, my license is going to be taken away. Impound your bike? Yeah. He's basically saying he's going to ruin Cash's life. Oh, wow. And my dad's on the phone. He's like, no, please don't. I'll come get him. Blah, blah, blah.

And yeah, my dad saved me from the slammer. They honestly needed to handcuff you when you were getting your COVID test. Oh, I 100% needed to handcuff you. He was literally like, can y'all hold me down? He's like, I can do this. I just need people to hold me down. Well, we told that story, right? Yeah. Yeah, when I was trying to knock out my nurse on accident. If you guys didn't see that episode, I was getting a COVID test. Every time the nurse would stick it up my nose, I was like, okay, I'm ready. I'm fully ready. Go. And she'd stick it up, and my natural instinct was to just hit her. And every time I did, she'd do it. I was like...

And she's like, why'd you hit me? I was like, my apologies. I'm terribly sorry. Terribly sorry. Let's try it. And we're in the middle of nowhere Mexico in a village. Yeah. So literally a village. Lady barely even speaks English. And I'm like, I'm sorry. Like,

Let's do it again. I'm going to sit on my hands this time. Let's go. She does it, and I whacked the nurse again. She's mad now, obviously. Then next time, I was like, you're going to have to hold me. I was holding my arms backwards, and they do it. Man, they just like... Did he kick your leg? No, he didn't kick his legs, but his head was everywhere. My head was going everywhere like this. Then we had to back me up to a wall. I'm back up to a wall, and I was holding my arms. She goes...

Barely got it. And she was like, we really need more, but this is fine. I was like, oh. It was bad, too, because she was the only nurse for like 200 miles. Yeah, that was the only one. Cash. It's a million dollars. This one's more for you. I don't think she'll have any objections. She might. How about it? You got to do that same peck, but it's to a guy. Oh, me kissing a dude? Just. It's not really a kiss. I feel like y'all have to stop saying kiss. Okay. Okay. Well, even if it was a kiss, I'm full.

I'm fully fine with that. Because it's like a peck on the lips. If you tell me I have to kiss a dude for 60 seconds, it's a million dollars. I'm going to be like, listen, we're both going to have to suffer through this. It's like a million dollars. I don't think you could. Listen, he has accidentally kissed his guy friends way too many times. Actually, I would say that. I say that, but I don't think I could basically let myself. For one video, we were like making them accidentally kiss. I grabbed their heads and was like pushing their heads together. Yeah, it was supposed to be me and Michael, Amaya. And you.

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manifesting many wins for you. It's a great week to love your work at Canva.com. Him and Michael could not, I mean, we shot this video probably a hundred times. And every time they'd get within a half inch of each other and they'd both, ah! It's natural, it's in your DNA, man. Like we'd be getting so close and then I'd see that little beard where he has it, he has it like beard and mustache where he hasn't shaved recently and I was like, ah!

I really am convinced Kate wants to sleep divorce me. You guys know what that is? She gonna sleep divorce you? You don't know what that is? Honestly, I don't blame you. I would sleep divorce him too. Sleep divorce is when you sleep in separate bedrooms because you can't stand how the other one sleeps. Oh, I've never thought I can. Multiple reasons. One, he's a heater. Sorry, I worded that wrong.

I want to sleep divorce you. The amount of times she smacks me in my bed. You guys, that's like not divorce. That's just a word for it. It's called sleep divorce. I would sleep divorce you. This man is a heater. He makes the bed into a water bed. He'd be sweating the whole time. She's a heater. She's literally physically a heater in bed. I unplugged her last night.

I legit unplugged her. I grabbed her to snuggle, but unplugged. What did you say? No, she got unplugged from the wall. She literally had a heating pack on and she's unplugged. That's a heater. You ever unplug someone before the other problem with you?

you'd be drooling all over yourself. I do drool a lot. He's just like, his pillow is soaked. You're acting like you wouldn't want to go sleep in another bed if I smacked you in the middle of the night. Imagine in the middle of the night you just pop. Listen. Would you, no, but would you like make me possibly think about sleeping in another bed if I was like pop? If you were physically hurting me, I think I would have to. That's what I'm saying. She physically hurts me. Listen. She rolls over and she goes, you pee in the bed and put it

had to put a towel over it so like y'all both bad no no she pulls the covers off me first she rolls this way yanks the covers then she comes back and she goes with her hand she gets me naked and afraid and then and then I'm afraid because I get hit it's just pop

Listen, I don't think you should want to not sleep with me because I accidentally smack you every once in a while. However, the headbutting is out of control. Yeah, she headbutts me too. She goes, hi-yah. I do feel bad about that. But just know that it hurts me just as much as it hurts you. I had two friends I met on a cruise ship. All right, bye. But Maverick never believed. Matt, look at Matt. I don't want to hear the story about your fake friends.

Don't call him that. That's literally what I was going to bring up in this story. I had two friends on a cruise ship that I met, and Matt never has believed in me that they were real. They weren't. And they weren't. Their names were Sam Fisher and Ricky. That was their two names. Yeah. You've never heard anything sound more made up in your life? No, if there was a Sam Fisher that went out... I don't remember Ricky's last name, so that's pretty broad. But if there was a Sam Fisher that went on a Carnival cruise in 2015...

Hit me up. Maybe we can link up. Maybe we can be friends. You're trying to slide with your wife right there? No one's paying you. Maybe we can be friends again. Anyways, I told Matt the next day after we got off the boat. Not off the boat. We were on the boat. So for three days, you're telling me about these people. And every time we go to find them, they don't exist. They never were.

where they were supposed to be magically. It's because it's hard to find Sam Fisher and Ricky because I didn't have a phone on the boat. I had no connection. So we just had to tell each other when we wanted to meet up or just randomly see each other on the boat. We'd have to just pass by. But how do you explain... First of all, Ricky was rich. Like...

Rich like Harper. Richie. That was his name, not Richie. It was Richie. No, it was Richie, and I said Richie was rich, and you're like, Richie was rich, really. No, you said Richie. I'm pretty sure it was Richie. No, it was Richie. Number one, I'm not rich. I make my own money. No, anyways. No one said you were rich. So is Elon Musk rich? I said he's rich. Is Elon rich? Yeah, but just because you make your own money doesn't mean you're not rich. Even if you did, like, even if you're...

Are you saying you're not daddy's money? Yeah, I'm not. I'm definitely not. No, she's definitely daddy's money. I do not take my dad's money. My sister does, but I don't. Who bought this shirt?

Me. She actually does do her own shopping. Wait, wait, are you going to buy your first car or is your dad? My dad, obviously. No, but I buy everything else. I bought these sweatpants. I bought this shirt. I bought my shoes. I buy everything myself. You bought all these French tips in here. French tips? No, French tips. French tips. I bought all these French tips. Yeah. Yeah, she pays us to be here. No, and I even...

bought all the decorations in my room some are for my birthday and stuff so yeah and every morning i buy my own starbucks well now if my friend ricky wasn't rich i don't want to hear about anyone no he doesn't exist no listen then how do you explain the overpriced candy i got from the candy store because ricky ricky bought again ricky bought it for me again he talked about this overpriced candy but no one ever saw i ate it okay he's like i got all

I got all this candy in here. You wouldn't believe it. I thought you were jealous. I got to try all of this candy. Ricky was so rich. He was like, this is my 10th cruise in like the last couple years. And then we go to the candy shop and you guys know candy shops are insanely priced. Take me to the candy shop. All right. Yeah, I was seeing that too. Ricky was leading me. I was like, take me to the candy shop, Ricky. Come on. Tell me what you got. Come on. Get that. Okay.

Take him to these kiddos. And... Guys are like, treat me right, Ricky. Come on. Honestly, this sounds like a really good Netflix show. He takes me to the candy shop. Richie Rich. And he's like, guys... He's talking to me and Sam Fisher. And he's like, do whatever you want. Like, do whatever you guys want. Like, I have a credit card. And we're like, okay. And we just keep getting it. But obviously, I was raised right. So I just got like a little bit. And...

Did Sam Fisher go crazy though? Sam Fisher went a little crazier than I did. And I just got like a reasonable amount. And the total is like 80 bucks at the candy store. He just moves on with his life. I was like, that's pretty crazy. But yeah, those are my two friends I met.

Never saw them again. Not real. No, they are. There was this TikTok I saw, and it was a survey with Scaramic Donald, and this person ordering got mad, and she pulled down her pants and boots, and it just dropped on the floor. She grabbed it, and she just threw it behind the counter. Wait, did we watch that one? Absolute savage. No way. I need to see that. That's not real.

She was in the Planet of the Apes for sure. She was an ape, bro. She was raised by the apes. Wait, McDonald's, what do I look up? McDonald's lady. McDonald's lady throws poop. I was filming this YouTube video. I was like, Kate, pull into Walmart. I got poop. Oh, no.

I'll make it quick. I run into the bathroom. I sit down. I let it rip like Beyblade. Right? Like Beyblade. And then, next thing you know, I'm in there alone. Oh, no. So, obviously, I do what I want when I'm alone. You think you're alone. No, I know I'm alone. You know you're alone. I know I'm alone. It's going. I got a feeling you're not alone. Full flow, baby. Boom!

And then I'm still sitting in the aftermath where you're not quite done pooping, but you also don't want to wipe it. You're done pooping, but you also don't want to wipe it. So then you just grab your phone and you're like, I got to play around. I got to scroll on TikTok for a minute here. So I'm in that era. I'm scrolling on TikTok for a minute, but it's like silent. I got to hold my ball. This guy walks in. He doesn't know I'm there. I'm assuming.

He thinks he's alone. He sits. There's only two stalls. So he gets in the stall next to me. And he lets it. Rip. Oh. So he challenged you. Yeah. No, he goes. And I was like.

It was the loudest thing I've ever heard. It was louder than any of mine have ever been. I was impressed. You basically came in there and said, I'm dominant. I'm king. I already let all mine out. I didn't know what to do. I was like, you win. The best part. Then I looked down and my microphone is still on. Oh my video. I have this for the rest of my life. One of the craziest fan reactions or fan moments I had

This one necessarily wasn't good, but more like Kate's story. I was live streaming, and this was back when I had like 20,000 followers. So I was live streaming. This is crazy. When I would go live, I mean, I read every comment because I didn't get that many comments. There was only 30 people in the live stream. Yeah, I didn't get that many comments. I had like 20, 30 people on my live stream. And I was live streaming, and somebody said, I'm outside your house. And I was like, no, you're not.

But then lowkey I was like, maybe I should look. So I look outside and they were outside my house. And I just acted like I didn't see the comment and then eventually they went away. No. Bro, that's so crazy. That's creepy. And then I went outside and there was a gift basket on my doorstep. So that was nice. I still ate the candy though. What? You sure it was candy? I don't know, but I ate it. Afterwards I was like, maybe I shouldn't have ate that. But I ate it, man. And I ate it again. Everyone tells me I never open up. So I was like, I'm going to open up today. This is my time to open up for you guys.

Talk about my feelings. You know, a lot of times people don't want to talk about their feelings. And most of the time I'm that person that doesn't want to talk about their feelings. But sometimes feelings need some talking about. And most of you guys don't even know where I started in life. Like you guys know me now. You know the Cash Baker now. But you guys don't know like what I was like eight years ago. I grew up in Oklahoma. I was a small town boy, guys. I'm telling you. I lived in one of those one stoplight type of towns.

You know what I mean? One of those type of towns where you walk down the street, you think a girl's cute, you find out she's your cousin. One of those type of towns. And that's not a joke. I had multiple family members find out.

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I was a country boy, which you guys might find that hard to believe now because you see this. You see this type of things with us. But I used to raise chickens. I used to raise dogs. Maverick had a freaking hawk, bro.

He was a falconry-er, a falconeer, a falconeer, a falconry person. He had a hawk that he caught out of the wild that was like this big, and he trained it to fly around in the air, and it would like go hunt, and he would be like, and it would come back and land on his fist.

Is that not insane? He caught this thing out of the wild, and he taught it to fly around in the air and then come back and land. But hawks do not like you. They do not like you. They only like you for food. They only like you for food. I mean, that's the same reason I keep – I guess that's the same reason you kind of stay around your mama, you know? She cooks you food.

He takes care of you. I guess that's how they look at it. They thought Mav was the hawk's mama. That's what he was. He was the mama to the hawks in the wild. Mav's always been like that, though. He was always a mama to nature. He took care of our dogs and hawks, our chickens, our ducks. We had ducks one time, but unfortunately one of our dogs killed our ducks.

So the ducks did not last too long, which is kind of weird because we raised the ducks and dogs together. We thought they'd be one, but they were not one, man. They were one for a long time when they were little. They were little and they were little ducklings just hatched, little puppies that just hatched. And the ducks in the, let's just say don't mix ducks and pit bulls. If you mix ducks and pit bulls, you're going to get some duck soup. Ducks never come out on top, unless maybe you had a bunch of ducks. But I don't really see a bunch of ducks happening. I mean, you know what duck...

Actually, no, that probably wouldn't win either. But yeah, I mean, we lived on a farm. Now my parents, they bought – well, actually, I probably shouldn't really talk about what they bought. Well, okay, they bought a farm that produced illegal activity, and they bought it because it got shut down for illegal activity. And now they're turning it into a normal farm. So now our farm that we had is combined with another farm, so now we have a really big farm.

But isn't that crazy, guys? Think about it. You would never know we even had a farm. You guys just think we're LOLing all the time. We're not LOLing all the time. I mean, we're LOLing now, but that's just something we want to talk about. And you guys wouldn't know what's crazy is yesterday I was talking to some friends, and I thought if you were to ask me yesterday if I had normal friends, I'd be like, yeah, I got pretty normal level-headed friends. Until I found out they believed in aliens. Okay, okay.

I need you guys to comment down below right now. Do you guys believe in aliens? Because my friend told me it's not even a belief. He knows there's aliens. No one knows there's aliens unless you... I guess unless you've captured one. Area 51 might have some aliens in there. Or they might just be throwing a big old party in there. But everyone comment down below right now if you guys believe in aliens. Because if you do...

I'm going to scroll through these comment sections, and I'm going to go to every single person that says they believe in aliens, and I'm going to explain to them why they are wrong, and aliens don't exist. And if you want to know why aliens don't exist, it's because my friends and all of them agreed that the aliens live underwater. Under freaking water. What type of aliens live underwater? Man, did I hate school. I mean, most people probably hate school, but I really hated school. I...

I was, like I said, I was a little farm kid, you know, and then I found TikTok or no, it was music. You guys remember Musical.ly? Do you guys remember that? I found Musical.ly on my phone. And then after I found Musical.ly, I tried two years to like get followers and it never worked. Never did work. But then it ended up working after about two years. And I was like, mom, dad, can I please drop out? Can I please drop out to pursue my Musical.ly career?

And they didn't want me to, but somehow I just slowly stopped and stopped doing school because I was homeschooled. And then about freshman year, I never really did much school after freshman year. So most of the time you guys probably think I'm joking when I say I'm going to drop out. But, like, I'm not joking when I say I'm going to drop. I dropped out, like, freshman year. But, oh, wait, hold up. I just realized don't drop out of school. That's not what I'm promoting here. I'm just saying my life story. Like this, you know, maybe you guys can feel sorry for me because I dropped out.

You know, don't drop out of school. That's not what I'm promoting. But what I am promoting is, you know, chase your dreams. And then if you achieve those dreams, maybe consider dropping out.

No, I'm kidding. Don't do that. Don't do that. But also, you know what I like to say? Don't go to college if you don't know what you're going to do. You know how many people go to college? They spend like $80,000 a year. Can y'all believe that? $80,000 a year to go to college and then they graduate and they don't even have a good degree and they do something they want. Obviously, don't get me wrong. If you want to be a doctor or a lawyer, you have something specific you want to be, you got to go to college for that. You got to get that knowledge.

Not my type of thing, but it's a lot of people's type of thing. And you've got to get that knowledge and go there. But college, I feel like is more of a real estate investment. If I could open up a college for a real estate investment, man, I would. They put people in the type of dorms that you would put people in like at camp. You know what I mean? When you have like a log cabin at camp and everybody just in lines of bunk beds, kind of looks like a prison. Actually, no, I think prisoners get more room. Prisoners get their own like bedroom, like own cell. They split with two people.

campuses or what's that when you go to camp like at like church camp or summer camp you have to share a room with like everyone that's what freaking college is bro i learned that in college you get one bathroom for like a community of people it's a community bathroom

If I had any access to that, I'd be blowing that thing up so it would be my bathroom only. Everybody would be going to the other bathroom. My mom hates the word freak. Same. She's like, stop saying freaking or whatever. Freaking. Freaking. Stop saying freaking or whatever. I know. I will say freaking, and then I hear myself saying it, and I'm like, that's kind of bad. No. I don't like it. Yeah. Yeah.

You're basically curse word replacing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, see. But, like, if I stub my toe, am I not, like, what do you want me to just say? Ow! Yes! That's my issue. Isn't that me still replacing it? Yes, I'm replacing a curse word because I don't want to say curse words. Like, when I say, um, darn it, right? My mom didn't like that one either because we were replacing it with the other one. But I'm like, what am I supposed to say? Oh! Oh!

Man! You're still replacing it, even though you're saying all man. I think you could say dang and it's okay. No. I say dang. What you want to say is something else, but you're saying something else instead that's replacing. So basically in this society, you can't say anything. No words. I don't like the word. Can I say this word, Kate?

Yeah, you can say that. What? Because I already heard it. So just say it now. You heard it? Yes. Can I say that word? He said tampon. He thinks that's a dirty word. I don't like that word. I don't like that word either. That's like worse than a curse word. You're literally being children there. Yeah, that's really weird. Yeah, or uterus. Oh, no! No, that's fine. I say ban-youtie.

Yeah, they're just man children. The uterus is what the baby grows in, right? Ew. You guys are man, like grown adult children. Is that what the baby grows in? Yeah. I think so. Or is that, I don't think so. What do you mean you don't think so? What? I think it's what it comes out of. I don't think it's what it's grown in. Do you know basic anatomy? No, I don't. Harper should know. Yeah, they don't teach you that in school right now?

No in seventh grade though, I think the baby grows in the uterus cuz that like I don't even know Yeah, I think the baby grows in the uterus. I'm not yeah. No, it definitely does Yeah, what do y'all mean? It definitely does. I don't think it does. No, it definitely They are idiot. No, I'm not an idiot. I'm saying it does it definitely does it says uterus he looked it up Well, no a baby grows in the womb

Which is in the uterus. Which is the uterus. Yes. Which I hate that word. Can we please stop saying that word? Oh, I got a word I need to know. What the heck does glazing mean? Oh, I don't know. Glazing? You don't know? No, I don't. You might have everyone I feel like should know. Oh, you're not saying it right. Glazing? Glazing, yeah. That's not it, right? It's like glazy or something like that. No, glazy is a different one, but there's a new one now. Y'all don't know what glazing is?

No, but everyone says it. But you do? No, it was in our comment section. They were like, Mav's glazing or Cash is glazing or Kate's glazing. And I don't know what it means. I guess I'm not glazing. No, what does it mean? Is it bad? It's not bad. No. What? Drugs. Should we not be saying this? Do we need to cut like this whole episode? You're whispering in the mic. You're already saying it. Just say it. Drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs. He said it's drugs. Yep. No, it's not. I'm pretty sure. No, it's not. My comment section was like, bro, Harper's glazing so hard right now. Yeah.

It's not drunk. Mav is such an idiot. I literally just am thinking of donuts. Too high to come down. I think it means like you're sugarcoating it. Like you're sugarcoating it. All I think about is donuts. No, you're like sugarcoating it. Are you looking it up? You're making it. It means just like being like overly nice.

Yeah, yeah. Like, you're sugarcoating. That's what it is. Yeah, you're sugarcoating. You're being overly nice. Drugs. That is not what you were saying. Why is Matt like, that's what I was saying the whole time. That's what I was saying the whole time. I told you I didn't say drugs. Y'all just don't get me. It's fine. Yeah, because it'd be like, oh, you're glazing it. Like, you're sugarcoating it. Glazing is now trickled over from

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Switch streaming chats into TikTok comments, but what does it mean? Sorry, that was not the definition. To glaze someone means to over-praise or over-compliment them. Similar to... Oh. LeBron. What? I cannot say that word. Can't say that one. When I had a...

We had like a PS3 and this guy was on Call of Duty and I was playing with him and I had a headset on and I just got a headset and I was probably about 10 years old. And the guy asked me where I lived and I told him my town. And then he was like, you want to get ice cream after?

He's like you want to get ice cream later, and I was like yeah, no no And he asked what town I lived and I was going along with it and like that's so fake No, no, i'm being so for real, but I I knew it was a joke. I was like, oh, yeah Let's get ice cream man for sure and but my mom thought I was being like so for real But I mean I was 10 and I shouldn't have been telling Guys on call of duty where I live I guess so, uh, I got grounded Yeah, wait, do you think I wasn't allowed to play with a headset after did you think it was a joke?

mean I knew he was joking I think maybe he wasn't joking he probably wasn't maybe that was uh cash was the target what's his name maybe that was Jeffrey Dahmer Jeffrey Dahmer Jeffrey Dahmer died in like the 90s oh really yeah that was a new thing no they made his show but he died in like the night they just now made his show yeah they're a little late on that there was a time I think it was like around Christmas time when there was some dude live streaming I think I think his name

Some dude. And he was like talking about how you used him for followers. Do you remember that guy? Oh, yeah. And Cash got so mad. He's like, I'm running a background check on this man. And you literally ran a background check on him. What? To try to find something to like get at him with.

I do not remember that, Mav. So this is all false information. I've never heard it. What? He was live streaming saying that you unfollowed him. Remember you unfollowed this guy. I don't even know how to run a background check on someone. Dude, my watch just told me to stand up. What the? You've been sitting too long, Joe. That's so stupid. You've been standing for like two hours. Mav, I've never, I don't even know how to run a background check on someone. You were trying. Remember, you don't remember this guy?

I remember that happening. That is not how it went. He did not live stream. He posted a video. Actually, I remember what happened. I remember he was live streaming or posted a video or something and he was talking about Cash Baker and how he got Cash Baker famous and then Cash Baker unfollowed him and just all this crap. And I remember I was like, why is this guy talking so much crap about you? I was the one that was upset. Yeah, he was upset too.

I remember I was like, Cash, you have to say something. And he was like, why? This guy's just an idiot. No, I didn't say anything. No, you were like running background checks on him. Dude, I don't know how to run a background check. I'm the ops, bro. I don't know how to run a background check. Bro, you were going FBI on this dude. What do you mean? What? How would you run a background check? It's really easy. Yeah, it's very easy. It's really not that hard. What is it?

I run them on all my girlfriends before I date them. A background check tells you their history, like if they've been arrested. Tells me where they used to live, tells me where they live now. How do you do it? You just go to, I mean, like if you just search it on Google, there's different websites. Yeah. But yeah, you don't remember that guy that was going in on you, bro? I remember that part, but Cash doesn't. This guy was roasting Cash. He was on livestream and he was going crazy. All of his information is just so false. It's so true. Surprisingly, somehow you got his name right.

The whole thing is true. He didn't live stream. He posted a video. He also was live streaming talking about it. He posted a video. He never live streamed. Yes, he was live streaming talking about it. You remember he was actually so horrible. I remember him live streaming, and it was at Christmas, and we were sitting there on the floor at Grandma's house, and we were watching the live stream. We're like, there's no way this guy's saying all this. He was just making it up. Oh, okay. Well, he actually might have did a live stream too, but the main thing was the video. Let me tell you a guy foodick. A foodick for a guy, I would assume, at least it's an Ick one. I see a guy, and he's eating this.

Anybody know what it is? It is a muffin. No a cake pop When a dude walks out of Starbucks with a cake pop I'm just like I got a cake pop My biggest thing about Kate it better be good Probably the way she runs probably when she denies when when uh, wait, let me think. Have you seen her run? Oh

That is crazy. It is crazy. All I'll say is it's a crazy sight to see Kate run, and she runs like this. You ever seen a Super Mario Bros. character run across the screen? Mav, what did I ever do to you? That is how Kate runs. What did you do to me? That, for one. I didn't do that. You did. You pointed it out. And if you would have told me in the moment, Kate, don't point that out. Let me just telepathically tell you my thoughts. You know what, Mav? If you really wanted, you could have had it cut out of the episode. No, it's fine. I know. I would never make something funny cut out of the episode.

I know exactly what Kate runs like. It's a Super Smash Bros. character. No, for you guys to imagine what Kate runs like, if you're like, I wonder what they mean by Kate runs funny. Imagine Jack Sparrow running. That's exactly how she runs. You're saying she runs like a drunk person? Jack Sparrow at least has some swag to it. He's a little swaggy. He's a little swaggy. Kate's like self-focused. Kate's like mixed with like

Jack Sparrow mixed with like Karen on like like Adderall in Walmart trying to find what she's looking for in the store No, wait wait wait that wasn't a bad egg these are fun I called you a drunk Karen looking for a manager No, my biggest thing about Kate is when I want to watch a movie with my wife But all she wants to do is read her book

And then she just leaves me alone. That does not happen. That does not happen. Anytime Cash won't, he's lying through his teeth right now. Really? Do you know how many times he's been like find a movie while he's sitting there on his phone? I'm doing work. It's a clash of clans.

Why do like grown people cry when they get hurt? What? They don't. You guys cry when you get hurt? No, like seriously injured. Yeah, that's understandable. What do you mean? Matt, Matt, no, that's cool. You're a crier of a dude, kind of. What are you talking about? I'm literally just trying to explain myself. Listen, Maverick...

If there's a scale of dudes, you're definitely on the more like crying end. Yeah. Like you cry more than like say me. Yeah. Like I don't see a problem with crying. Right. In certain situations. Right. Okay. So here's the thing. I think guys that think it's like weak to cry are like, listen, to cry, let me rephrase this. To cry, that's okay.

If you're like sobbing uncontrollably, that's when it's like, okay, you better have a pretty good reason like your mom died or something serious is happening in your life to be like sobbing. Right. So here's what I'm saying. But if you just have some tears running down your face, that's okay. Here's what I'm saying, right? Mavs team cry. But if Maverick's leg just got broke, you're not going to cry. I know you're not going to cry.

I don't think I'm going to cry, but I'm going to be screaming. I'm going to be pretty mad. That's what I'm saying. Obviously, you're like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. But, like, you're not going to be actually crying. I don't think I would. Like, seeing tears. Like, imagine you just see a grown man break his leg. It would just be, like, the tears when you're like, ugh, and the tears are coming down your face. You know what I'm talking about? That's what I'm saying. I just don't think a grown man, like, if you were watching, like, a football game or a basketball game, and, like, a guy's leg got broke, you don't see him cry. Like, they're just, like, sitting there, like, if you had to either lose an arm or

Or you had to scam your parents out of all their money. But you can't ever tell them why you had to scam them. And you can't tell them there's a good reason. Nothing. I would say you know why. No, but you were going to lose your arm. Or you have to scam them out of all their money. And they know that you took it all. I'm scamming them. You're scamming your parents. I'm scamming my parents so bad. Yeah, I would scam my parents. It's my arm. They're going to not love you no more. It's my arm. Yeah.

- Yeah. - I'm a good child. - Are you scamming your parents? - I don't think I can. - You're losing an arm? - I think I need to. - Like Bethany Hamilton?

I think... Oh my god. She got bit by a shark. Hers was crazy. I loved her movie though. What? There we go. Wait, Harb, are you scamming your parents or are you losing an arm? Yes. I feel bad. She's like, I'm going to do both. Lose my arm and scam my parents. I'm going to scam my parents.

Scare notice no not scared damn like take all their money. Honestly, I think I'll do both then I can collect the disability check to Disability checks go up if you're more disabled. I don't know. Oh really? So you lose both your arms you get more money I

what okay here's another question this is my last hypothetical question what part of your body would you cut off for a hundred thousand dollars my pinky toe no sorry one million a million yeah my pinky toe my pinky would you cut off any part my pinky toe you would actually cut off a pinky you know you can't walk if you don't have a pinky toe like no no no sorry you can still walk but you it's like harder i'm taking out like one of the middle yeah you're right i need an edge a middle toe is right yeah if i don't

- I have my pinky, what am I gonna stub on the couch? - No, I'm gonna take my second toe off since it's so large. - But would you realistically do that or rather just not have a million dollars? - Any body part? - Kneecap's gone. - What? - No.

Me personally, I don't, that's so easy. My bunion. What's a bunion? Wait, any body part? I'm doing my kidney. That's what I'm saying. You only need one of those. And if my other one comes in trouble. But you're not really cutting that off. You're cutting it out. Yeah, it's got to be an external body part. My ear. I'll get rid of my ear. What? No, you're already hard hearing. I can just hear things behind me then. That would be cool. I don't think that's how that works. I would do my middle toe. Your middle toe? I would do my second toe.

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And it's not funny and it's not a laughing subject. You already got me laughing by saying don't laugh. Please. No, it's serious, Kate. He's clearly serious. I can be serious. This is why I don't see. I can't. No, this is actually serious. Is it? Yes. I almost died. Oh, wow. Did you? I did.

I almost died. Okay, guys. None of them are going to take me seriously. None of them are going to take me seriously. I can't hear anything. I almost died. I mean, actually, I was almost dead. Nearly dead. And they just laugh about it. I'm not laughing. She's laughing right now. Look at her. I am laughing. Why are you laughing at me almost dying? I don't understand. Why are you laughing? Because...

It's just... He nearly died. He literally... No, stop saying it sarcastically. He nearly died. No, see, now you got her thinking it's a joke. No, I legitimately... Seconds away. Stop making it sound sarcastic. This is not sarcastic. Was it yesterday or the day before? It was yesterday, I think. Yesterday...

I wouldn't have been here today and y'all wouldn't have been laughing. You know what? Maybe I should have just kept going and we would see who's laughing now. He had no clue he was about to die. He almost accidentally killed himself. Just because I didn't have a clue I was about to die doesn't mean I still wasn't almost dead. I know, and I would have been so sad. So what happened? I'm glad you asked, Harper. He was waiting for that. Did a fish hit you? No. Also, the goldfish is almost dead.

We shot a video and we accidentally left a goldfish in the bag. But it's alive now and we're taking it to Petco. So it's going to be all right. So two things almost died yesterday. But more importantly, me than the fish. Is it at Petco?

I know we're bringing to pick up after this. What is it here? Uh, yeah, it's in Joe's backpack. I think Joe get it out It's not in my backpack Where is it in the camera pack? Okay, uh wow Okay, so me most importantly. Yes. Okay. I was like in the garage and

This is the story about how I almost died. I was in the garage. Okay. And I have a motorcycle. Can't keep going. This is how he would die, though. I have a motorcycle, right? Maverick has a motorcycle. Did it fall on you? It's winter. And I was like, I need to start them up. Because you don't want them to just sit for months and months and not ever start them or else they'll break, right? Or they won't be good to go. So I start them both up just to let them run for five minutes. And I start both the engines. And then...

That's it. I'm just sitting there and I'm revving them up watching all the exhaust go. Like the fog is going out of it. And then I go over to mine and I rev it up for a little bit and the exhaust is just. And I'm feeling the garage up with exhaust. Like it's smoky in there and like it smells and everything. But I didn't want to open the garage door because it was cold. And I wasn't trying to be. That's why you didn't open the door? Listen, I was in shorts and a shirt.

And I don't like cold. This is Texas. It's not supposed to be cold. Wait, I just heard a motorcycle like... Yeah, that's kind of what it is. No, I heard it in my ear. Oh, no you didn't. I did. No you didn't. Yeah. Okay, she's trying to take away from my death story, but that's okay. And then Mav comes out and Mav opens the garage door. And he was like, dude, you're going to kill yourself. And in case you guys don't know,

I found this out later that exhaust, like if you start your car in your garage and the garage door is shut and everything, it can kill you within like five or ten minutes. You can be dead. He had already been out there about five minutes. From the exhaust fumes. You can die within like five to ten minutes. Did it smell good kind of? No, our whole house smelled bad. And I knew exhaust fumes could kill you over a long enough time. So I had my shirt like this while I was out there doing it. But I was like, that probably takes hours if not like a day to kill you.

No. Minutes. Couple minutes. And I was out there. Minutes. And I almost died. And he would have died had I not came out there and rescued him. That's the important part here. Yeah, and I was just really annoyed that I was reading my book on the couch and our house started to smell funny. She's annoyed. She's annoyed because I almost died. No. I'm sorry I annoyed you.

I would have been very sad. Meanwhile, I got up from fixing her sink. And it was like, you know, Cash, I should go check on him because this is starting to smell. And I go over there and I'm like, what's going on in here? You're going to kill yourself. And you were like, what?

What? What's wrong? I said you're gonna die! Yeah, and my exact words was, I know, and you're ruining it. He almost accidentally killed himself. The second time I almost died, I was attached to this thing called an air chair.

Right? Which is not full of air. No, it's actually the opposite. It's full steel and metal. And I strap myself into it like this. You got to strap yourself right here. And then you strap your feet in. So you go... Strap your feet in. That's not good. And you're sitting like this. You're sitting exactly like this. And you're sitting down. And then you strap yourself in right here.

And that's it. But then you have a life jacket on. And this thing is full metal under you. Pretty much like this. It's like this type of thing. But heavy. But heavy, yeah. It's like 50 pounds. So it doesn't float on its own? No. But I had a life jacket on, so I float. Like an anchor. And we're on a sea-doo. Mav's pulling me around on it. On my air chair.

Which is not air. What's a Sea-Doo? Exactly. It's a brand of Jet Ski, but they always say Sea-Doo because they always had Sea-Doos. And then people are like, what's a Sea-Doo? It's a Jet Ski. They just like are used to calling it a Sea-Doo. Matt was pulling me around on the Jet Ski. I have the big, giant, 50-pound metal weight strapped to me. And Matt was like, I want to turn the 50-pound giant metal weight. And I was like, okay. So I'm in the water floating with my life jacket, and he's on the Jet Ski. I take my life jacket off, and I'm like this.

And then I take it off to give it to him. And I go, because I'm now attached to a metal weight with no life vest on. Which seems like an extremely crazy thing to have in the water that if you take your life jacket on, you go to the bottom of the lake. You just sink. Like, I feel like they should have a better thing than that. Did you have time to unbuckle your foot?

No, I didn't. So he wasn't even thinking about it. He's trying to swim. He's like, ah! So right as I give it to him, I stick my hand up, and he sticks his hand down in the water, and he somehow grabs my hand. I'm just making him sound cool right now. I don't know why I'm doing this, but he somehow grabs my hand, and we link hands, and it was a magical moment. Did you guys hear the Mavericks laugh? I did. Yeah, it was like, guys, run it back like 10 or 20 seconds. He went, ah!

It was a little zesty what is a little sometimes I mean on top of the Barbie hat and your own merch This is crazy me mav and Alex were all just chillin. Oh, yeah, hey now being boys and dudes being dudes Yeah, and his mom calls him

And his mom is in, like, Oklahoma or somewhere like that, right? It's just such a mom thing to do. Like, yeah, I can see, like, this is just moms, man. And his mom calls her, or calls him, and says, hey, Bluetooth's not working on the car. Can you disconnect your Bluetooth? And Alex is like... She's an hour away. Alex is like, mom, I'm not anywhere near you. It's not gonna... And then she says something back, and Alex just goes...

Okay, I'll disconnect my Bluetooth. And Alex gets on the phone and he disconnects his Bluetooth. Bro. You actually disconnected? Yeah, he did. He doesn't lie. Just in case. I was like, he's like, mom, that's not how it works. He just gave up mid-call. It's okay. In the middle of the phone call, he was just like, no, you don't understand. Okay, I'll just disconnect it. Sure, yeah. I mean, that's probably easier than trying to explain it, but that's just...

fair who the heck knows how bluetooth works i mean yeah i mean come on now also wi-fi signals i mean yeah i don't understand any of it i have a bubble in my stomach what do you keep saying that what does that mean you know you never had a bubble in your stomach no yes you remember on like episode remember when we started the podcast on like episode one or two i talked about the bubble that i got diagnosed with you didn't get diagnosed i don't think they said you had a bubble no they did say well it's a fart bubble is what he said pretty much everybody said you had gas

No. He said you were gassy. He said that everybody... Yes, but that's an air bubble. No. He said that there's a bubble that everyone has and it's like where your gas comes from, but he just said Cash's was larger than average. Mine was very large. It's way bigger than average.

And like, let me tell you on, on the thing, when the X, the X-ray, it was a big circle. And I was like, what is happening? And he was like, that's a, cause mine was up right next to it. Yeah. Kate's was like this big. Mine. I'm not even kidding. Kate's was like this big. Mine was like this big. It took up, it took up my whole, my whole thing. And I was like, uh,

And he goes, oh, that's just a gas bubble. Don't worry. Most people have that. I was like, oh, okay. I think he thought I was embarrassed of it, but low-key, I was kind of proud of it. And that just confirmed that I was like, okay.

I knew I farted a lot, and you just scientifically proved it. So thank you. Just not liking some foods is not an eating disorder to me. It's not that he just doesn't like some foods. We all dislike foods. Maverick eats pizzas, burgers, and chicken strips. He eats way more than that. He eats pizzas, burgers, chicken strips, tacos, steak. Name more.

He eats... Name more. I can't even think of other foods. What's other foods? He doesn't eat yogurt. He doesn't eat that. I don't eat pasta. You eat ice creams. You eat fries. You're going to dessert. You eat fries. Baked potatoes. We're going to sides now. Mac and cheese. Listen, the point is... Guys, don't worry. I'm fine. I can eat mac and cheese and baked potatoes. I'm just naming foods that I can think of. You eat... Gosh, those are all in the same meal. Yeah. You eat bacon. You eat pancakes. You eat...

Cash, I go to a restaurant and I'm lucky if there's one food at the restaurant I actually like. You eat hash brown from McDonald's. You eat McGriddles. You're right. You're right. I don't have any problem with food at all.

No, you just don't like a lot of food. So I don't have a problem with food? Why are you being so rude about it? I'm not being rude. You said, I'm going to come into this with an open mind, but the second he opened his mouth, you were like, mind closed. Okay, because listen, remember what I said? That's a sign of an uneducated mind. Listen, let me tell you something. Look, let's say there's a scale, right? Say Harper eats everything, okay? Kate eats the next of everything. And then I eat...

Kate, she eats like everything. She's a zero out of ten. You're a two out of ten with pickiness. I'm a seven out of ten with pickiness. And Mav's a nine out of ten with pickiness. No. Where the heck are you- I'm off the scale. Where the heck are you going to draw the line if that's an eating disorder? Cash, I've literally never met someone as picky as me. If I could name every fast food restaurant you would eat there. Name someone pickier than me with food. I'm going to name- No, answer me that. No, me. I am pretty picky. Pickier than you or Grandpa? Grandpa.

No, he ate way more than I did. No, he didn't. Yes, he did. No, he didn't. Okay, look. What my point is, y'all are saying he has an eating disorder. He can only eat at the same two restaurants. I could name a thousand restaurants that he eats at. Chain Express, Sonic, Whataburger, Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, McDonald's, Chick-fil-A. I'm getting the same thing at each restaurant. He will eat at all those restaurants because they have chicken strips.

Pretty much all the restaurants I just named, it's either like burgers, chicken strips, or chicken sandwich. Are you genuinely saying that 50% of the time when we're going out to eat, we want to go somewhere and we're like, oh, Maverick won't have anything to eat there? We go to Subway, I don't eat there. The only restaurants that you don't have anything to eat at is just like I said, I have categories like seafood. You have categories like Italian. Well, no, you would still eat mozzarella sticks and pizza. I don't want to. I have to eat mozzarella sticks. It's not like a whole meal.

It's a sign. Hello? Hey, mom. I'm on the podcast. Would you say I have an eating disorder? Yes. Without a doubt? Yes. Why? You have a fear of food, a food phobia. A food phobia. So did our grandpa have an eating disorder? There's an actual name for it? Okay. And did you say you wanted to send me to therapy?

I think it would be helpful because I think if you could enjoy, learn to enjoy food, it would be beneficial to your life and give you enjoyment. Thank you, Mom. I love you. Love you.

Listen. Our mom's just always worried about you. She always thinks I have something... She's just worried. She's a mom. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it. I'm embarrassed by it. I hate it. It sucks. He wants a better life. It genuinely sucks. I hate going to somebody's house and they're like, oh, we made this food. And I'm like...

What am I going to do? Because I physically, like, I can't do it. I can't eat. That's what I'm saying. People make certain dishes. I have that too. Do you realize there's four people against you in the room and you're the only one defending yourself? You can't do that for much longer. No, no. Because listen. Listen. If we went through and named the foods that you like, it is a ton of foods that you eat.

- Bro, everyone's laughing at you right now. He's dying laughing. Everyone knows it's not true. - So can somebody tell me this? Where's the line? People are gonna be on a spectrum like this. There's an average, okay? No, there's an average like this. And then there's people that eat everything. They eat everything. Like they'll eat a grasshopper, okay? And then there's people that are a little picky. And then there's me. Do you understand that? - The thing is, is that we all have foods that we don't like, but if you were to put

I don't like enchiladas. If you were to put a plate of enchiladas in front of me, I would be able to eat it. I wouldn't, it wouldn't be my favorite thing. I'd be like, well, it's not my favorite thing, but I can eat it. You could eat it. Harper could eat it. I probably would gag. I would know. I even like the food on the plate. I would know. I like all these foods separate, but because they're touching, I wouldn't be able to eat it. It's literally a mental thing. He has, and that's the definition of an eating disorder is a mental disadvantage that hinders because nobody, because I'm mentally challenged. No, no, because no, yeah,

Yeah, now when I talk about being rude, that's so rude and offensive. I am mentally challenged when it comes to eating. That's rude and offensive. You are not mentally challenged. Okay. That's literally true. I can't. What do you mean you can't? I've asked y'all the one question so many times. Kinsey's calling me. Let's ask her. Dude, she's doing you one month. Kinsey, I'm on the podcast. Would you say I have an eating disorder? Do you want me to answer that? Like legitimately. Yeah. I think you might have a problem.

Yes. No, an eating disorder. Thank you. No. No. Would you call it an eating disorder? Can I say something to her? No, no, no. Let me just say. Yeah, go ahead. Talk to her to convince her. No, I'm just going. Kenzie, I'm going to give you the definition of an eating disorder. No, just let her say it. Any. Okay. Turn her up too. Gosh, why are you so grouchy, Cash? Because y'all are being rude. Okay, here. Here.

An eating disorder is any of a range of, wait, are y'all being quiet? Okay. Any range of mental conditions in which there is a persistent disturbance of eating behavior and impairment of physical or mental health. Would you say that? Yes, I'm sorry, Maverick. Yes. Yeah, so you would say he has an eating disorder? It's a mental disturbance in his life. Yes. Okay. Thank you. All right, I'll talk to you later.

Alright, bye.

Alright. Oh, I'm being trolled. Kate's gave up. I've gave up. It's just you and Harper now. No, no, no. It's just you and Harper now. No, no, no. You can't leave yet. No, no, no. I'm not leaving. Yeah, Maverick doesn't have any disorder. That is crazy if all y'all think he actually wouldn't eat a fresh, warm enchilada starving in the middle of the ocean. No, I'm on your side. People turn into cannibals when they're starving. And y'all think Homie won't eat an enchilada? Maybe. Is this a prank on me? Okay, hold on. I'm pretty sure.

Even eating it then would be a disturbance in my daily life. There's like people that have eaten there. I've gone to the point where I'm starving and now the only thing around to eat is a hot, fresh enchilada. You would eat that thing before anybody even knew there was an enchilada on the rack. I'd be waiting till the break of death to eat that enchilada. No, no, no. Three days without food, you're going to the Mexican restaurant to order all the enchiladas you can if that was the only thing. Maverick would eat the enchilada, but it would take him a while to get to it. You, the second you see the enchilada, you're going to eat it. Yeah, because I like enchiladas.

But if you show me a sushi, I'm not eating that thing until day two or three. Maverick would not eat the enchilada until day two or three. No. You're hitting that person.

No. I think you're eating whatever's next. Now all y'all are telling me Matt would eat the enchilada. All y'all said, it's okay for both y'all. You're both right. No, Matt was just right. Listen, I'm telling you. And now all y'all are saying, oh, well, maybe he would probably eat the enchilada. Cass, no. You're right. You're right. So you would eat the enchilada? Yeah, yeah. I actually eat everything. You're right.

Wouldn't you agree, Kate? I would say Maverick would eat anything you put in front of him. Yep. My sister was getting some Oreos for her birthday. Or my mom bought them for her birthday, like, for when all her friends come over. And me and Mav ate the Oreos before her birthday. Like, her birthday was the next day. Me and Mav ate them. And then my sister... Wait, that whole pack?

Oh, yeah? Mav does mess with the mic a lot. Well, no, I was just fixing the cord. I was fixing the cord. Chill. It was the first time I touched it. And Mav ate the whole thing, and then my sister cried in her bedroom alone about it because she was like, I don't have any Oreos for my birthday party tomorrow. And she didn't want to ask my mom to get any more because she thought my mom couldn't buy any more Oreos because we didn't have enough money. That's sad. And your mom was like, I want to buy her more Oreos. We weren't struggling that bad.

I think she just wanted to cry. Girls always be doing that. They be finding reasons to cry. No, you're not, Donnie. Oh,

no your sister was definitely like by the way guys by the way we did have money to buy more Oreos you told me too that you thought you were like I thought we were going broke oh my mom always made us think we were broke my dad says it too yeah my mom she's like she be hiding money she's like you know my mom she's like she stashes money all these under the mattress under toilet seats she's stashing money everywhere I don't

I opened up a toy and see one day to pee and I'm like, oh my gosh. And money just fell out. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah, that happened. No, but she does. She does stash money. And you made it sound like your mom was like,

we're not gonna have enough to pay the bills this month she does she does she's like she's like always stressing about the money i don't know how it's gonna work and my dad's like it's gonna work it always works it's fine yeah and my dad was never stressed about it and we were like okay this is kind of weird and turns out she was like we don't uh this is gonna be hard to make ends meet this month and then next month she's like so we're going on a ski trip we're like what

She's like yeah, we've been saving for this ski trip. I'm like oh, so that's why I couldn't have my chicken nuggets from a car Guess what work when we were taking the singing lessons. Oh no Yeah, what if she watches this no this isn't about her this is about you. Oh, oh

When we were taking the singing lessons, she would assign us opera to go home and sing. Yeah. And Mav would try to attempt his sometimes. And then... I did the homework. No, no. And then I caught Maverick. Don't dog on him. Y'all were paying for singing lessons. Yeah, I'm not even looking at my money's worth. Yeah.

He's like, Maverick actually practiced. Guys, he actually practiced. He did what he spent the money on. That's crazy. But what were you going to say? I walk in his room, and homie was listening to non-assigned opera, not for practice. He was just listening to opera for enjoyment. No, I was not. It was the exact same. He was, bro. And I said, what are you listening to? And you're like, well, I mean, some opera's good. No, no. I was probably listening to classical music, not opera. Yeah, there's a difference between opera and opera.

opera. Every once in a while, like once a year, I'll turn on some classical music while I'm cleaning or something. Classical music is like

ACDC, that is opera. There's a huge difference. That's classic rock, my friend. Classic rock? So it's classic music. No, classical music is not that. It's very far from ACDC. What's classical? Oh, classical. Classical is like the violins and all that stuff. Oh, like Beethoven. Yeah. Beethoven? Beethoven. Is that a dog? He said Beethoven. The dog. Just like the dog. Hey, well, you know what Cash told me? Huh? When we were...

Youngins, just little babies. We were probably like 14, 15. I do not know if this statement is true. I'm scared. You know this is true. He told me, he was like,

Guess what I'm doing on FaceTime. Guess what I'm doing every day now? And I was like, what? He was like, I watched a video on how to become a millionaire before you're 25 or something. And he started taking bubble baths. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies. He would get a box of chocolate and he would take bubble baths because that's what the dude in the video said.

Lies, lies, lies, lies. I would never say... We were just talking about how Joe's baby has a bath time and you were like, I wish I had a bath time. No. Listen, I would never say, hey, Kate, I watched this video on how to become a millionaire. You did, though. And it told me to take baths. So I'm going to start taking baths. I would never say that. And then you bought chocolate to go with your baths. But you said I told you. I didn't shoot. You did. How?

Bro, he had chocolates, bath salt, epsom salt, candles, the bath, the bath bottles, pink bubbles. I specifically remember you telling me one time, okay, I'm going to go. And I was like, oh, what are you doing? And you were going to take one of your baths. Yes, but I didn't say I watched a video on how to become a millionaire. No, you told me you did. You did. How would I know that, Cash? Yes, you did. I remember this. Well, gosh darn it, the bath worked. Take straight a tip. Yeah, so who's laughing now?

Did you take any baths? Did you take any baths?

Did you take any baths? I did. I did. I'm a bath person. Here's the thing, guys. If you want to be a rich kid like Cash and Harper, you just got to take a bath. Take a bath. With some chocolate and some bath salts and some candles. Get that bath bomb. The pink bubbles. Play some music. It's the mind. It's the mind. When you eat chocolates, bath salts. Dim the lights down. That's key. That's key. It's just so funny because it's like he took like three or four baths when he was 14 and it just-

It took, man. I guess whatever ritual he performed when he was 14 carried on over. Cash, what were you saying that's so annoying that I do? Every time, every time me and Kate are watching a movie, she looks it up midway through once that intense thing happens and somebody's about to die or something, she looks it up and she's like, does he live at the end? Does he live till the end? And then she looks it up and she's like, she looks at me and she's like, don't worry, he lives. I'm like, what?

Might as well turn off the movie. No, no, no. Listen. He's mad at this one specific time. We were watching... One? You think this happened one time? We were watching... Okay, this has happened a couple times. I know what happened in Gran Turismo. What is that? Oh, yeah. The racing movie. I, like, spoiled that for myself. I was like, oh, he gets in a wreck. That's really sad. Yeah, we're literally watching and she's like, oh, he gets in a wreck and almost dies. I wonder if they put that in here. While we're watching the movie, I'm like...

probably, we just probably haven't gotten to it yet. Yeah. And then sure enough, he gets in a wreck and I'm like, oh, well now I know he lives in the wreck. No, but he's mad because, which this is just kind of your own problem because we're watching Planet of the Apes and the main ape, he almost died in the second movie, but obviously he doesn't die because there's a third movie.

So like, I just looked it up and I was like, because I get nervous watching movies. When I watch movies and something scary is happening, I don't enjoy it. So that's why I look it up. If I know that he's going to die, I'm like, okay, I can calm down. I know what's going to happen. If I know he's going to live, I can calm down. I know he's going to live. Like, I don't care to get the whole, the shakes watching a movie. Sweaty palms, that happens a lot. I don't like it. It does happen a lot. Every movie when an intense scene happens, Kate starts to get sweaty palms and she'll like sit up like this. And then I look at her, I'm like, I look at her, I'm like, Kate, relax. And she's like,

And she's like all tensed up. And she'd be falling for it. Like on the edge of your seat. Like she's literally on the edge of her seat. She's watching movies. Bro, you went bass pro shop has, but I don't even think you've ever, like when was the last time you went fishing? Listen, I don't care about the bass part, but I am a pro at everything. Are you a pro at crop dusting? I am a pro at crop dusting. You want to see? No, no, no, no, no. He is a pro. Actually, I was at Perry's Steakhouse, which is like a five-star steakhouse. No, no, no.

And it's a very, very fancy steakhouse. And the dress code is like 10 levels. And I was there and I accidentally crop dusted people. You did not. I did. I did. It's a good thing you didn't say that to me in the restaurant. I purposely didn't. Because we were walking to our table. No! They're just trying to enjoy their meals. Are you kidding me? Yeah, and I just...

They're paying like $500 for a meal and then they're like... They probably thought there was like a plane driving by them because they just heard... All they heard was...

You're not cut out for fancy restaurants. Yeah, I cried just at all those people. You may be good, but grandmas, they be the best. They be walking across the living room and it sound like a machine gun. You're like, what was that? Really? Old people? Oh, yeah. All old people, they go crazy. I have a special talent. I can do, I can sing a song, but in the tune of a different song like this. That's cool. Piper Raquel, more like Piper Raquel.

Oh wait, that was kind of impressive. Oh, you want me to try it? Yeah. But do it, do the something. So do that too. So Bloody Valentine. Yeah. I don't know what that song is. I don't know either. You do it. You'll be Bloody Valentine. You'll be my

Wait were you singing the melody or the tone? The melody. And sing different words.

More like Piper get rocked or like um or like tweet. Oh my god wait Twinkle twinkle Some people want it all What's the next line? What are you doing? You don't even understand what's happening. He's just making it up on his own. Cash no. No stop. Stop. It doesn't matter. You're singing the wrong song. I

I'm just saying! Some people want it all. You're not supposed to sing it! You're supposed to sing another song in that melody. Oh, dear lord! Can you guys make the rules clear? We did! No, we didn't! She showed you like five times! You're like, "Yes!" And I did what she said! But you were singing the other song!

She said sing. Some people want it all. No, yes, but not the words. You sing the melody. You sing the melody. So like, oh, it's flipped. Yeah. I see. You want me to do the reversal I just did? Yeah. No, I don't even think. Yes, yes, yes. So you want me to sing like this? Yeah, but you do words later. Oh, wait, you do it. Oh, wait, wait, wait. I didn't realize that's what you did. Oh, she did it. Okay, do it now. What song? Same one, same one. Okay. Pie.

Rock L more like a pipe again rock. That's not it. Yes. Yeah, you're right. No, no, no come and go by Jesus She's gonna sing the original no, no, she can't do it. Definitely. Well, I know listen I go

Okay

I'm sorry. I don't listen to freaking Alicia Keys. Okay, so let me do it. I do, man. Okay, you do it, Cash. She's my favorite artist. Okay, do it, Cash. I just figured out who she was at the Super Bowl. All right. Ready? Go. All right. Piper O'Kell. Some people want it all. More like Piper O'Kell. I'm calling.

Flag on the plate. We're done. No more. It's not the same. No, but you do. You do a song, Cash. Okay, I'll do that. I'll do that. Some people want it all. No, please. It's supposed to go, some people want it all. Go to that tone. Some just want everything. I give up. I'm sorry to the listeners. You told me you were gone.

And now you just took it off See that's easy I know do twinkle twinkle little star like twinkle twinkle but to the to the Do come go juice world Wait come on girl juice world Twinkle twinkle little star I just wanna go in this one You told me you wanted all No no no no no It's easy Do twinkle twinkle little star to some people Oh oh oh okay

Twinkle, that one's hard. That one's hard Twinkle twinkle little star. Oh, yeah You hit that so good. This is same melody over and over. Yeah, can we end this podcast? I want to get off now. Parker is actually a Nickelodeon star Even though we give him a hard time about it So go ahead tell him about your tell about your stardom and while you're at it tell us how much you made on that show Yeah, how much do Nickelodeon stars get paid?

You guys would love to make that the title of your video. Yes. Because you know that would get so many views. Wait, wait, wait. Actually, hold on a minute.

How much do they get paid? They've been trying to ask me for the past month how much money I made from Nickelodeon. Just tell us, man. And I will never tell them. Everybody's recording me. Okay, you know what? Just for the podcast, I will. Let's go. Let's go. How much you got paid? I make... Yeah. He's trolling so hard. He's not going to do it. Say it. Please, please, please. You know this video is going to go so viral. Now I'm building up all the watch time. Everybody's going to go, here we go. Here we go. We like retention. We like retention. All right. All right. Let me wait another five seconds.

I'm not gonna tell you. What the dick? And now everyone, you know how hard it is for me to get my camera on right now? I remember one time we went out to a missile silo. You weren't there. I was there. No, you weren't there. Yes, I was. I don't think you were. Oh, he met us there. Yeah, I met you there. I didn't drive with you. I met you at the missile silo. And then we went to the hospital. Yeah, there was this app.

There was this app where you could literally find a bunch of haunted places around Los Angeles. So we downloaded it and we went, oh my gosh. It was crazy. We almost got jumped. Oh my gosh.

We did. We were almost in a gang fight. Yes. Oh, my gosh. That was crazy. So we went to this abandoned. It was called Devil's Gate. I think we've told this story, but we can tell it again. Oh, you guys have told Devil's Gate? I think we have. I don't know. But, Evan, dude, I almost had to freak up another gang. It was bad. Oh, no, I don't think so. We went to Devil's Gate, and we heard these people screaming. You weren't freaking up nobody. That was wild. But the real jumping part, we went into the Jack in the Box parking lot. My buddy Connor was sitting outside. Cash was driving. He'd copped in. No, it wasn't comped. You were in comped. No, we were in Altadena.

Next to Compton. Nowhere close. What? No, Altadena is like... Dude, I'm telling you, bro. It was crazy. Point is, another car pulls up slowly. Was it Pasadena?

Bypassing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slowly next to Cash's car within about 10 feet, right? And then Cash looks at Connor. It was one parking space over. One parking space. And this is, again, 2 in the morning. We stayed out late a lot. And not just that they just parked there. They whipped in. Whipped in, yeah. And then we looked at Connor. We said, Connor, get in the car. Get in the car. He's on the phone like this. Yes, he's on the phone. He's like, hey, mom.

Yes. And then those people, they open the door and they get out. All four doors. Straight out, straight up like a movie. Connor runs back into our car. They get out and come straight up to our window. Cash whips out, puts it in reverse. And we're like, go, go, go. Dude, it was one of the most scariest moments of all time. But me, I was going to be cool because I know CGG would have messed up the Crips. I mean, it was fine. What? What are you talking about? Our gang name. What?

Yeah, but no I mean I wasn't really scared in that fight I

But Parker was crapping his pants. I was inside the car. I wasn't. It was Connor. I'll say it all. We were all crapping our pants. We were all scared. One time when we were on our honeymoon, we were at this restaurant and this baby started choking and it went on for like four minutes. It felt pretty useless. The baby was purple by then.

But, like, you didn't know what to do. There was actually, like, we were in, like, the main, like, eating area. And there was, like, literally, like, a hundred people just, like, circled around just trying to watch. And, like, literally the whole restaurant was, like, dead silent while the mom was, like, hysterically crying and, like, someone's, like, trying to unchoke the baby. I heard people get, like, sink plungers. Yeah. And they suck it out. Wait, what? No, the one you were talking about you wanted to have in our car. Oh.

Oh, that thing. Yeah, yeah. We were in Mexico, or we were in the Dominican Republic, so it would not have been helpful at all. But two weeks before, Cash was talking about how we should get one and just have it in our car. Yeah, I was like, what if somebody's choking? We should buy this and just keep it in our car. And I remember saying, what are the odds of that happening while we're there? And I dismissed it so casually. But I will say, everyone in the restaurant got up and circled, except for this one old couple, man. There's something about old people. Sometimes they don't care at all. They don't. They were sitting like...

A couple tables from the school. And people get sad when they see old couples in their room. They were really close in the restaurant to the baby choking. They just continued eating. So unbothered. I looked over there just cutting their pancake like this. Yeah, like so unbothered. Everyone in the restaurant is like standing like in tears because like the baby, I thought the baby was actually going to die because it was going on for so long. And then, oh my gosh, do you remember? It was like the mom's hysterically crying. Everyone's just kind of like gathered around and you could hear the baby choking. And she like...

stops choking and everything like went dead for a second and we were like oh gosh and then like they started the baby started like crying again and like choking so like I don't know what happened and then like a couple seconds later maybe God took him to heaven for a minute

Or maybe. I don't know what happened, but then the baby started choking again and then like a minute later they finally saved her. Explain the viral video, what everyone wants to know. Yeah. Okay. How it happened. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. So I'm on register because they put me on the front register.

um i stayed there for like my whole time there they didn't move me around anywhere which i was kind of getting bored of it um and that day one of my childhood friends came in like i haven't seen her for such a long time so i was really excited like that already got me hyped up yeah so then um my mom my sister and my mom's boyfriend come in and i'm like i was so excited to see them so i

Just was joking around with my sister and she pulled out her phone and just started recording and I was like, all right. All right. So later that night she FaceTimed me and was like, I'm going to post this. It's going to go viral. I was like, she said that. Yeah. Yeah.

She said it's gonna go viral? Yeah, she said it's gonna go viral. She's a prophet. She called it. Can she say I'm gonna be rich and famous when I'm older? Can you call your sister to have her say something about me? I wanna know my prophecy. I could call her. Okay, so she tells you. Yeah, it's gonna go viral. Gina, I'm gonna make you huge. This video's gonna be bad, bro. This video is huge. I saw Trump come into Chick-fil-A. How was that? Bigly.

I wasn't there for that. Oh, okay. Actually, plot twist, I am Trump. Oh. Oh. What? It all makes sense now. Wow. Kitsch. Kitsch. Kitsch. But... Okay, so your sister texts you. Yeah. She goes, it's going to go viral. And obviously nobody thinks they're going to go viral. So I was like, okay, do what you want. So she posted it. Then my other sister, Julia...

Calls Diane and goes your videos at 60k right now. She's like no way. Uh likes. Whoa Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh She

Okay, the video goes viral 60k likes and it just keeps going. Yeah, it doesn't stop then Uh, I i'm scrolling on instagram reels and boom. There's my face. I'm like your own video Yeah, what did your sister post it or someone else? Someone else did and I texted him and he was a very sweet guy He was like, um, of course i'll tag you like whatever you want if you want me to take it down I will I was like no just tag me. It's fine He helped me grow so much that guy Um, what was his name?

- Sounds memorable. - Something Beats Music. Like that was his username. - Yeah. - Beats Music?

So, Beats Music, I think. I could check. - Beats Music? - Beats Music? - Like what is he? - He's like a meme page. - Like rock, paper, scissors? - Yeah, like I'm confused. - I think it's Beats Music. - That's okay, it's not a meme. - I could be wrong. - It's not a huge thing. - It's not important. - We all made it sound important. - He is important. - Well, no, he is important, but like I'm saying it's not really. - Oh my gosh, I'm glitching. - Okay, so the video goes viral on Instagram.

Yeah, we actually have all the same actually we were

We were conjoined twins. Oh! Conjoined? I can tell. I see the similarities. Y'all know what conjoined means. Stuck together. Our hips were stuck together and then the doctors were like, it's okay, we can cut the butt bone in half so that it'll be fine. Yeah, so like nothing really affected us.

- It didn't really hurt. - It didn't really affect us because we were conjoined at the pregnant point. - And then you're about separated at birth. - And then she grew to be 17. - I also tried to eat her in the womb, but we don't need to talk about that. We had a lot of drama. - That's why I don't have a baby. - Okay, so the video went viral. - Yes, I saw it on Instagram Reels and then everybody basically started taking it and posting it everywhere. And then I posted a video about it and then,

It went from there. Yeah, it went from there. Now it's history, I guess. And then you got fired. Oh. So, no, I did not. Oh, you quit. She doesn't like to put it out like that. Because you do big fan. Wait, well, let her explain that.

Okay. It was like a mutual understanding. That's what everyone says when they get fired. I mean, respectfully, if she stayed working there, the place would just be crazy. Yeah. It's not really... Like, people would be coming in to see you. So, yeah, like, what happened? Like, how'd it go? Basically, like, I got recognized. He pulled me into the back. I was kind of crying. And then I got sent home that night. And then it was a lot for me to handle because, obviously, it's a new thing. Yeah. Sure. I...

Then he called my mom wait, but why'd he like send you home? Like notices her they'll post on their story or something. Yeah, no I don't know everyone. You're a horrible mother. Oh

So then my mom, like he called my mom and... I heard that egg crack. No, my egg did not crack. My egg did not crack. It literally cracked. I'm hatching! My egg's starting to slowly hatch. They said it should happen in the next 24 hours. That's how long... No, I think you dropped it and it's cracking. Wait, what's the thing...

How long it takes to birth a baby and they call it like labor. Oh, yeah, they say labor takes about 24 hours. I don't think it's considered labor. It's called hatching. Yeah. Well, we'll see. OK, good luck with your egg. Please stop interrupting me. Anyways. Yeah, they have a thing for that. Oh,

Okay Harper okay When a miracle alive just happens, okay, what is you have a name? Why do we know the gender like wait? When is it coming? I'm kidding. What's his name? All right. I just want to know the name So you got noticed your boss sent you home

What the? Me too. Me too. We're always mad at Nav. Wait, me? You interrupted me. I'm mad at you. Okay. Anyways. I'm mad at you. I just tried to shush. Yeah, everyone stop interrupting her and just let the girl talk. Over here. Here, everyone. Over here. We're looking. We're looking.

I just want to know the story. Okay. So my mom called, he called my mom and my mom was like, yeah, take her off the skidder wall for a little bit. And then I never went back. Sorry. Wait, so did you get paid for your last day you were there? No. Wait, really? What? Did I? I did. Oh, you did get paid? Yeah, but it was like three bucks because I was only there for like two minutes. I feel like you should box scale lose.

Who's Gail Lewis? I would love that. If you called out Gail Lewis, that would be insane. Gail Lewis? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Gail Lewis? We have some beef. Oh no, no, no. She just did it. She just did it. Oh no. No you don't. Gail Lewis, there's nothing but love. Would you box Gail Lewis? I'm kidding. We're gonna mute that, okay? Listen, so...

Yes, I would box Gale Lewis. For charity. For charity. You'd box Gale Lewis. For charity. You'd knock her out. Only for charity. For charity, I think Gale Lewis might clock you. No, I think Gale Lewis is going to probably kill me. I personally, I will put, I will pay to make this happen. However much it costs. I'll take a loan out, whatever we gotta do. Gina versus Gale Lewis. The ref is the corn kid. It's corn. Yo, Harper, you can like sit on the seat, dog. Yeah.

- She's scared. - She's scared we'll become attached again. - I can't believe we have a chicken in the house. - Ready guys? - Yeah. - You don't know who Gayle is, really? - No. - What the? - She's the Walmart person. - 844, signing out. - She was like the former Walmart employee. - You don't know 844 signing out?

Oh my gosh. Gail Lewis is so iconic and we tried to get her on our podcast but we just couldn't get a hold of Gail Lewis. No, I did. She left me on scene though. You got left on read by Gail Lewis? I did. Gail Lewis left me on read. Dang. It was a bad day. Pretty sad actually. Well, Gail Lewis still stands. Big love.

We love you, Gale. If you'd like to come hang, we can take you there. All hail Gale. No. All hail Gale. What does hail mean? I don't know. All hail. What does that mean? Worship. Don't worship Gale Lewis. Worship Gale. Is that what hail means? Yeah, I think you just worshipped Gale Lewis. It's like, it's like. Guys. All hail King.

I'm gonna wait Kate on the Amazon thing because you just remember that you need something by tomorrow and you only have 20 something seconds or 20 minutes to order it. I'm like, oh shoot, I need to get that because I need it. And like if you wait another 30 minutes until the episode's over, it won't show up tomorrow. It'll show up the next day. I think that's fake. When Amazon says like stuff like order in the next 15 minutes, I don't think that's real.

I don't know. That's definitely not real. That's definitely not real. That's definitely this. They're trying to get you to buy the product in the next 15 minutes. Y'all are crazy. No. What did they say? Only two left in stock. They have 2,000 left in stock. Because you know what happens a lot of times? A lot of that stuff you're ordering is just coming from Walmart or like Best Buy. Literally, it's not. It literally is. No, it's not. It's not.

I used to deliver for them like last year. He may know more than us. Yeah. Okay. No. You were an Amazon deliverer? Yes. Oh, she's calling again. We're back on the line. No. Did

Did you get to drive one of the blue trucks? No answer. No. The blue vans? You would show up to like a warehouse at like 4.30 a.m. Oh, is it in your private car? Yeah, and you would load up all the packages into your car and go deliver them. I've seen those, yeah. And sometimes, like, the house was wrong or something like that, so you would just keep the package. Oh. Oh. You were a thief. Huh? You were a package. You were supposed to take it back. Ha ha!

But I was like, it's an hour away. Somebody's got to pick a card. Okay. Any card. Just say a card. If I pick a card, can we go to Europe? If you pick the right card. Okay. Five of diamonds. No. Pick the ace of spades or the queen of hearts. It's on the top. No. No. I switched it. I switched it. Try the ace of spades. I switched it. Ace of spades. Take it from the top. Pick a card. Queen of hearts. No. I told you it's not those. Pick a different card. Queen of hearts. No. Pick a different card. I want a queen of hearts. No. Harper, can you pick a card? Seven of diamonds. Ace of spades. Nope. Pick again. Ace of diamonds.

Uh, no, pick again. Ace of hearts. Do we just have to name cards? Do we name the one you want? Uh, ace of diamonds. Okay, last chance. Go again. This is the one. Queen of hearts. Queen of hearts. And I knew she would say that. Hey, what is the other card in your hand? The ace of spades? I bet y'all can't guess. Ace of spades? Kate's gonna randomly guess this card. Guess this card, Kate. Um, ace of hearts. Oh my gosh! Wait, did you know that? Did you see it?

No, I just knew it was gonna be that. How'd you know that? I just know things. Girl! Did you flip the magic trick back on me? How'd you know that? Did you see it? Did I angle it? No, I just knew it was gonna be that. Alright, try again. What's this card? Uh, I don't know. Seven of diamonds? If it was, that'd be cool. Guys, I got so burnt. Like, I can't even... You are burnt. Yeah, I noticed that. How did you get burnt? I was on the boat. Oh, that's mean. On the boat. Oh!

It's already peeling! Or that's aloe vera. That's aloe vera. No, um, what's it called, guys? Cash is still going through it from his sunburn. No, I did a blister. Oh, you want to see a picture? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Guys. The yellow blistering is so gross. Guys, I'm going to pop this up on the screen. This is one of the worst sunburns I've had in my life. Look at the blisters. It was so gross, Harper. Look at it.

My god look at all that that is crazy and his skin kept flaking off in our bed. It was the worst summer I've ever had. That is so bad. Oh my gosh. We were at dinner I go Matt's like she's kind of cute. I was like too long

I was like, okay. Say something to her next time. She comes over. She walks by the table. Maverick hits her with this. Keep in mind, Maverick's trying to, you know. Riz her up. Maverick's trying to do Riz. Dating girls. No, it's not Riz. I don't want to waste my time. This is what he said. Don't say what he's trying to do. This is what he said. She walks by the table. I'm not even exaggerating. This is exactly how it went. What? Excuse me, ma'am. What? Oh, my goodness. Ma'am. Hi, ma'am. Oh, my goodness.

keep it here keep it what was that? that's not at all did you see that? that's not at all true did you see that? did you see that? you saw that everyone saw that right?

That's what you just did. Y'all just want to make fun of me? That's fine. Someone's got to be the end of the joke, and it's me. I accept that. You said bah-ha-ha in real life just now. No, I did not say it like that. That's going to be the peak episode. People are going to go back to watch that. Listen, I'm fine being the butt end of the joke. Dude, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to do my own LOL Podcast fan page and do all the times Maverick's been a girly girl. So anyways, Maverick goes, excuse me, ma'am. Excuse me. And then she comes over, and he goes...

Have I seen you at church before? That's not quite what I said. I did ask her if she goes to church. He goes, have I seen you at church before? I feel like I recognize you. And she goes, no, I don't go to church. And he goes, no, no, no. She said...

No, I don't go to church. Yeah, she's kind of scared of church. And then he was like, oh. Okay, and that was the end of the conversation. But the whole purpose was, hey, you... I just spit. Bro, I have... No, no, no. You made up the fact that you recognized her. Wait, can we make... And then you lied about how I seen you at church before? Listen, I have... Listen, when I want to talk to a girl, I can talk to a girl. And first off, I'm dating someone, so I don't need to now. But...

I know how to talk to girls. Like, I'm not stupid. Well, tell us about your totaling cause. Yeah, he totaled two cars. He crashed another car into the sidewall. And then he backed into the driveway. No. And then he rear-ended someone eating orange chicken. Well, that was included in the totaling. You can't just be hitting cars left and right. Listen, listen, listen. Listen, Linda. Listen, Linda. You're the worst driver here, Cass. I...

No, I'm actually the best driver here. Dude, you should see me. You have the worst record. You should see me in go-karts. I come in first place. Second if the car's right. I've totaled one car. Two. And...

Yeah, too. You did the van, too. And the truck. We're really counting the van? Like, really? We're really going to count that? You did that. He's such a... You're like, literally, that's something Kate would say. You're going to count that? No, what do you mean we're going to count that? Why would you count that? Yo, I was 15 years old. Why would we count on that? Because you crashed the van. Because you were a driver. Okay, fine. Listen. And first of all, I'd like to say, both of my car accidents happened in the same spot, or the same type of scenario, and both of my car accidents...

The car should not have been totaled. First one was at a stoplight. I fell asleep at the stoplight. It was a long line. Okay? No way. I did. I fell asleep at the stoplight. And then his foot hit the gas and just... And then my foot hit the gas and I hit the person in front of me. And see, the car should not have been totaled.

But the reason the car was totaled is because I was driving a hunk of junk. All right? And the car itself was only worth like $1,000. It was worth way more than that. No, it's not. Dude, I think it had 350,000 miles on it. It is. I have 300. Yes, it did. Yes, it did. It had so many. It did. He said a hunk of junk. That car was fine. No. Yeah. It was old as frick, dude. It was old as Isaac Newton. It was like in 2005, and this was in like 2015. No, no. That car is like 1900s. What? No.

Listen, listen. It was basically the first car ever made. It was 1900s. No, it was like brand new. It was 1900s. And,

I hate it. And it was like, they're going to be, they were like, Oh, it's going to cost $700 to repair the car. So we might as well just total it out because it's such a junk car. And so like total. Yeah. Technically the insurance soldered it out. So the car was completely drivable. It was completely fine. And it should not be totaled. And moving on to the second one, the second totaling of a car.

Happened because I was at a stoplight eating orange chicken. And when I was eating my orange chicken, it tasted a little funny. Shout out Panda Express caused my car accident. And I had to roll my window down and spit it out. But when I spit it out,

Next thing you know I hit the car in front of me! And it was not my fault. That's the most- What? You hit the car in front of you? The guy slammed on his brakes because something ran out in front of him. You weren't paying attention! Do you remember- Alex remembers this. You fell asleep while driving back from visiting some friends. Yeah. What is with those- Listen, I'm a sleepy guy. I don't get much sleep.

actually i get a lot it's like 12 hours and i require a lot so i require like 12 hours of sleep so when i only get like 10 but this is your fault you only got a few hours you decided at like yeah we already told this side at like midnight i'm gonna drive to arkansas and go see two girls so you drive like four hours i was like i was like i just turned it was like like it was a four hour drive so it was four years ago

That's really saddening. Five years ago. Yeah, five years ago. He drives four hours to Arkansas, sees these girls for like an hour in the middle of the night. Missouri. Missouri, whatever. Wow, you went to Missouri and you could, if you were going somewhere, you could have come to Texas. Oh, she got you. You know, I tried to go to Texas, but I added up the hours and it was going to take too long. So he went to see some other girls? So he had a backup. Girl, and you didn't even get married to these girls. Imagine.

And anyways, long story short, I fell asleep. You know, the concrete barrier that are on the side of highways, like the like big wall, like the half walls. Yeah, I hit that thing and it just popped a tire though. Yeah. So then he ends up being late to church the next morning.

And wait, how did you get out of that? You actually didn't make it to church at all. And then mom and dad are like, we go to dinner after and they're like, is cash even going to come to dinner? And I'm like, uh, you're texting me like cover for me. I'm going to be there. Just please, please, please. I'm like, what did you do? He's like, he's like, just stall. I'm coming. Wait, how did your parents not notice that their car was gone? Well, they know, but they, well, they knew I took it, but they didn't notice.

All the damage. Wait, were you supposed to be staying the night at Alex's house or something? Yeah. Oh, okay. So Cash was like, you know, I got a flat tire. And then they're like, well, why is it crashed? And he's like, uh, I was...

Yeah, I told them I was doing donuts. I told them I pulled into a McDonald's and hit the curb. And then they were like, no, you weren't. You were doing donuts. And I was like, you got me. You figured you doing donuts versus I drove four hours in the middle of the night to go see some girls was better. Yeah, the donuts punishment was definitely better. What is your punishment? You know, I never really got one. You know, one time we hired a security guard one time. Yeah, that's what I was saying. And he watched me pee.

He did. Remember that? Big Rob? Yeah, Big Rob. Shout out, Big Rob. Solid guy. Big Rob, you sure you hired a security guard? Yeah, he was an ex-NFL player. He was massive. He was a lineman. That doesn't mean he's a security guard. No, but no one can stop him. Like I said, he's a solid guy. He could not have been a security guard. I mean, he was guarding me with security. He was pretty good. And I went to use the bathroom.

And he just like, like I was like, he like stood at the bathroom door, just looking at the door. I was like, this feels legit. And never hired one gang because I like peeing in private.

I don't think you needed a security guard. I don't think you guys needed a security guard. I don't think so. I've been doing jujitsu now for a few years. I feel like a lethal weapon, honestly. When a police officer pulls me over, I'm like, just to let you know, I do jujitsu. The main reason for it was when we did the big meetups. And when we did the big meetups, for instance, the mall, there was like 1,000 people there. It was like if everyone did this.

Oh, and crushed you? Yeah. Yeah. I need someone to pick me up and just carry me. You guys were frail little boys. You guys were frail little boys. At the time, I weighed like 110. Like, what am I going to do? Ashley? How old were you? They were tiny. I was like 15, 16 when I did my first meetup. And you were 110? No. No. Not actually. He was exaggerating. He was like more like 115. I was probably like 145, 150. It was a figure of speech, Harper. I'm 160. 160? No, you are not. You are not 160. All right. Steven? The best for last. This is going to be brutal. Here we go.

Okay? Drop it to the floor, drop it to the floor, and a-rah! We'll start off with the letter. It's a tiny letter. If you can open it. It's a very tiny letter. It's very small. I don't think it was meant to be. Cash, you- Cash, why is yours so small? You dropped your lip. What? You dropped your lip? The weapon made it back. You what? Oh, man. What did it say? Gucci Gang 1178.

Gucci gang. Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang. You dropped your lip. That's crazy. You dropped it like it's on the floor or something? It's crazy. That one hit close to home. Bro, your lip shakes so much when you talk. You know what? You know what I think of that letter? Bro, stop.

What did you eat? I'll fart on that letter. Kate, I saw your face and you were like, I'm just accepting it honestly. She's accepted this life for a while. You know, that's what I sleep next to every night. That's incredible. Wait, wait. There's more. I have more. Have you guys seen that TikTok where like the sheets blow? All right. That's cash. And... I don't...

Let me see it. Let me see it. Let me see it. There's no way. I don't like my hair. Dude, that's actually pretty bad. That hair, man, is totally not cool. Hey, I got a portrait, too. Why does it look like a carpet? Look what it says. I'm Cash. I don't know how to spell. Hey, I'm Cash. I don't know how to spell. Look at this. It looks like when you made the fish on Spongebob. Yes. Look at this. Oh, my goodness. Like the fish hooks. Look how big the lips are.

Bro's lips are massive. They made my lips huge. God freaking the Kardashians, uh, like- Why does it look like Chicken Little mixed with Cartman, bro? That's crazy. That's crazy. Next one is to the LL- wait, no, we're saving Gerald's for last because I think that one's gonna actually be a nice one. So, to the LOL podcast. Open it! Let's see what we have. Okay. Ah!

A Feastable. A Feastable. We shouldn't eat that. No, we shouldn't. Wait, I wouldn't eat that. We should eat this. Don't eat that. It's a trap. Wait, let's see what the letter says. Oh, this one's typed out. Oh. Wait, is that it? Okay, that's it. You guys are honestly so annoying. You stay wild, Mr. Beast wannabes. Get off YouTube and TikTok every time...

Wait. You stay wild, Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast wannabes. Get off YouTube and TikTok. Every time I see you, I die inside. Touch some grass and do something good for the world instead of talking about aches and crap for an hour. Touch some grass? The only cool person is Gerald, and he's not even real. He's not even a real person. I hope you lose all of your sponsors and ad deals. That's crazy. All of our sponsors? I would never wish that on somebody. I hope we have a sponsor ad right now. Just for you?

We have a promo code for better help. That's probably the meanest thing somebody said so far. You should see my comments on the daily. And you go broke, so you have to get a real job. So dumb and annoying. I hope you see this too and cry about it. Bunch of losers. Why do they send us candy? I don't know. Can I see it? I want to eat it, though. It doesn't look opened. It's tampered with.

It feels tampered with, Vokito. Hey, whoever you are, wherever you are, know that we love you and we wish the best for you. Yeah, we're keeping our sponsors. I'll be praying for you. I'll be praying that your house burns down. I'm kidding. Let's not pray that. I'm kidding. It's a joke.

Seriously, I wish the best for you, and I hope you stop hating us so much, but please keep watching our content. Yeah, keep it coming. Oh, no. Oh, gosh. That is definitely melted. Don't send chocolate in the mail, little kids. That's not good. And don't eat chocolate you get from the mail. That's not safe either. Oh, that chocolate does not look... How did you open this? That looks like they sent that with FedEx, not UPS. Ew.

That's definitely FedEx shipping. FedEx is a sponsor. Just chill. Cut to the FedEx ad. It has actual hair on it. Yo, wait, wait, wait. There is hair on it. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold up.

- Cass, stop. - Sorry, I'm very gassy right now. - Did you fart on this bar? - It looks like I did, but I didn't. - Okay, there's one more hate letter. - Actually, I'm gonna try it. - Harper, there's hair on it! - Harper, no! - I don't know if y'all can see this in the camera, but there's literally hair on it. - Oh no, Harper, why did you do that? - Why did you do that? - I'm hungry. - Does it taste good? - Uh-uh. - I actually don't think you should be eating the chocolate from the mail. - It actually tastes really bad. - Oh, there is hair on it! - I told you! - Ew, look!

There's hair right on it! Harper, that was so not a good idea. I don't think Harper should eat that. Y'all ever seen an Orbeez gun? Wait, don't shoot it in here. These guys at a mall, they were shooting me with an Orbeez gun. I was trying to act all cool. I'm so scared. Please point it away. Wait, how do you know when it's on? I was trying to act like... I'm actually so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please do not be mad at me, guys. Please, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. No, no, I can't risk it. No one can have it. I'm so sorry. Oh my God.

I saw that hit map right in the face. That hurt. I'm okay. You didn't hit my eye. Oh my gosh, that hit map right here. Shattered! Okay, give me the gun. No, unfortunately, I cannot hit anyone this time. I'm actually so sorry. I actually was just trying to test it. I'm flustered. I'm scared.

Cash I'll give you $100 to shooter really going once and I will say one time

My parents were out of state or something, so my grandma was babysitting us. And my grandma came in there, or my granny, she was like, hey, get out of bed. It's time to wake up. Oh, no. And she left. And I was like...

I just went back to sleep. I wasn't going to pay attention to my granny. She's an old lady. I'm 10. I can do what I want. I went back to bed. Patriarchy. My granny opened my door. Actually, what she specifically said is, hey, get up or I'm going to pour a glass of water on you if you don't get up.

She closed the door. I said, I'm the patriarchy. She gave him 10 seconds. She had it outside the door ready. Yeah, literally. She closed the door. I was like, I'm the patriarchy, Granny. And I think Granny, she's the matriarchy. Let me tell you. She came in the matriarchy. How do you spell it? Granny is not whatever you're trying to say. No, she's a matriarchy. She's that girl. She's a boss woman. Yeah, she is. She came in there with a glass of water like 15 seconds later and just poured it all over my bed. Made it look like I wet the bed.

Oh, that's what happened. I also might have wet the bed. If I'm in the car and the AC is blowing on my eyes, first of all, it's my biggest thing I have to tell people, can they turn it off my eyes? Because if not, I just sit there like this. It's scary. Sometimes they'll just be sitting there and you're like, what is happening? Stop. That's a knee slapper. But it's always when there's wind blowing on my eyes. If there's not wind blowing on my eyes, I pretty much never do it. Ow! You hit my tibula! Ow!

I don't think she did. No, she didn't. She actually hit that special part. Remember where I said I have that thing? No. Everyone has that. No. Are you talking about that thing? No, not that thing. Remember the thing that I have? Remember? No, I have this thing. Where you move your lips and your eyes. I have that thing too. No, I have a thing right here. Here's so many things. That my shins, the top of my shins are extremely tender. So if you touch it like this.

Like that hurts really bad. I think your just butt hurt. It's because it's you know it's because I grew too fast. You can never relate. It's because I grew too fast. Yeah my bones are strong. Not fragile. And so my bones didn't have time to like grow with it. And so now my bones right here are very tender and they won't go away until it catches back up. He got a tender tibula. Good to know. No stop. What about your fibula? Dude. I'm gonna get like a giant hammer and just hammer you down and make you even shorter. He won't do it. You're a minor. Go ahead and hit him again. Also I'm gonna sharpen your

You're just trapping your toenails and dig you into the ground until you stand. Why do I feel like one day I would just walk outside and see Harper digging in the ground like a dog? Just...

I can totally see that, man. She's digging your grave. Listen, this has all been great. It's been a great episode so far. And I want to continue it. But we cannot move forward. He wants me to apologize. Without you saying sorry to the viewers and to me. And to me. And to Kate. First of all, I don't feel like it's a real apology if you tell me to apologize. No, no, no. I just want to give you a moment where the opportunity is there. So I don't appreciate you telling me. You don't have to.

I don't appreciate you telling me to apologize I'm not you don't have to No see now I have to apologize You don't have to apologize I do have to apologize But now it looks forced Now even if I do apologize Now even if I do apologize It just looks forced Were you going to do it in the first place I thought about it I did And I was going to apologize But now I don't even want to Because he's like Cash apologize now Yeah I didn't expect you to apologize Okay fine here it is

It's not going to be a real apology. Let's just talk about how rude you've been. Yeah. Apologies for on and off the air. You can get them all right here. Yeah, we can get it all clear. Y'all obviously all probably saw the last episode. And if you watched the last episode, some things were said. They were very rude. What? Yes, they were very rude. Yes. Some things said that were very rude.

Is anyone sensing sarcasm in his voice? Wait, did those rude things come from you? Well, I think those rude things kind of came from multiple people in the room. What? I remember Kate said some rude things. What did I say? I remember Matt said some rude things. What are you talking about? And I remember I might have said some rude things. Harper is pretty innocent. Last episode, everyone was talking about Maverick's eating disorder.

And I didn't... Stop. I don't... Go back and try again. This is the worst apology ever. Go back and try again. Eating disorder. No, I'm saying that like in like... He has eating disorder. Y'all didn't know he finished. Let me finish. You're saying eating disorder? Let me finish. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, Gerald. No, listen. I'm saying eating disorder is what... And then... You don't need to put quotations around it. I was literally talking about it in LA. You were talking about it in LA? Yeah, I was like, Maverick has an eating disorder. And...

Who were you telling it to? To my mom. I was like, I think Maverick actually has an eating disorder. And I was like, it interacts with your actual life. And it does, okay? Yeah. Did you tell her what Cash said? Stop glazing him right now, please. Did you tell her what Cash said? Wait, was she here? No, she came to the very end. She was like, oh, I don't know. So I was saying Maverick's eating disorder. I was saying it like that. I'm saying it like this. Everybody calm down. I'm saying it like this because that's how I took it.

And I thought we were joking. I thought we were like, Maverick has an eating disorder. No. Why would we joke about that? Why would we joke about that? Because I went my entire life and never one time has this man ever said he had an eating disorder. Or never one time did anyone in my entire life ever say he has an eating disorder. Your mom just said it like a month ago. Family dinner. My mom did. Oklahoma. And you know what you said? What?

You know what you said at that dinner? He looked after the dinner. He was like, I don't know why mom thinks I have an eating disorder. That's not what I said. She's always so worried. No. Mom wanted me to go to therapy for it. I said, I am not going to therapy. Mom doesn't need to worry about me. I'm not going to therapy. Well, you should go to therapy if you have an eating disorder. Maybe I should. I'm not going to. An honest man. Yeah. And never in my entire life have I ever heard this news. We get on the podcast. He says he has an eating disorder. I'm like, oh.

Okay. Yep. Okay, well, apparently, you're going to make the man cry. It was kind of one of those things that, like, nobody ever acknowledged because he's not really sensitive about it, but it was just, like, a known fact to everybody. Cash. If there's something wrong with the person, do you just point it out? Yes, you point out my lip all the time. No, I don't.

No one has ever talked about your disorder. Look at your lip. Nobody does that. Y'all have talked about my lip and everything and nobody cares. The only thing I've ever said about his lip is that I like his lip. What's my disorder? What? What's my disorder? Well, we are not going to talk about it. I don't have a disorder. We're not going to talk about it. I don't have a disorder. See, it's polite not to talk about it. So we're not going to. Because I don't have one. So he doesn't have one or does he? Why are you shaking your head? I don't have one.

Well, I'm not going to talk about your disorder right now. Babe, do I have a disorder? It's none of our business to air it out on the internet. No, go ahead. Air it out. If you wanted to, you would air it out. I don't have one. No, no, no. No, please. The point is... My point is, Maverick, no one has ever in my entire life, I've lived with this man ever since I was born, no one's ever said...

He has an eating disorder besides my mom one time. So then when he brought it up, I thought we were all trolling for the cameras. And then the cameras cut and they're all like, you really don't think he has an eating disorder? And I'm like, wait, y'all really think he has an eating disorder? And I thought we were all joking for the cameras and playing everything along. Yeah, it's not something you joke about. No, I thought you guys were kind of joking about it to make me look bad.

And that's why I was getting so mad. How did we make you look bad? You made yourself look bad. Because you're the one who said. Because I was so insensitive. Like, you don't have an eating disorder. And you were like, but I do. And I thought he was trolling me. No. I'm just telling you what happened. I believe you. I'm listening. Right. So where's the I'm sorry? So skip to the point and just apologize is what he wants. Okay, where's my I'm sorry? For? My I'm sorry? For what exactly?

Because you guys said I have a disorder. Okay, we didn't make fun of it. No, we didn't. Really? Because Kate did say I have an eating disorder. Wait, no, we didn't. And you did too. No, I didn't. Y'all both said I have an eating disorder. Did I? Actually, I don't know about you. Wait, wait, wait. But you did. She said I have the opposite of what you had. Okay, okay, wait. So we affirmed your disorder and you unaffirmed mine. And that's the problem here. No. Yep. Projected on me. What? I didn't. Okay. Okay.

You said you have an eating disorder. No. Yes, you have. No, she said that. You said that too. No. Yes, you have. No. Yes, you have. I like food. You called that an eating disorder. No. I'm pretty sure on the episode you said, well, then I have an eating disorder. Well, maybe. Because he was saying like if I went to a beach city and all they had was fish, I'd consider it would be considered me having an eating disorder. You did say you have an eating disorder. What I'm saying, what my apology is that you're begging for me to apologize to you. I'm saying it was a misunderstanding and you clearly don't understand that.

I understand that and I forgive you. Cash, don't cry. Why are you acting like you're so sad? I wasn't acting. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be acting. For our own health, I think we should never do an episode again. Are you really sad? I was just seeing your thing and I was like, ever since people liked me before they saw who I was. When I didn't talk so much.

Before we had a podcast, everyone was like, oh, I love Cash. And now that I talk a lot, unfiltered, people don't really like me. Where people have fallen more in love with Kate. And me. And Harper. And even Maverick. Yep. Went from six to seven. Wow. Well, how does that make you feel? Are you really sad about that? This is like a plant. Yeah, that's a plant. I wish you could show you were nice.

Like you are a nice person. You genuinely are like one of the nicest people ever. Yeah, you just gotta work on how you come off. Yes, but you come off. That is so true. People literally come off so aggressive. Because we're on a podcast, like a comedy show. I've never seen you like genuinely be nice. That is not true, Harper. No, like I have. No, no, that's not like a rude thing to say. Y'all have never seen me be like

Oh my gosh, are you okay? Like, is everything all right? Do you need help? Like, y'all never seen me do that. I've never seen Cash do that. Or Mav. Actually, yeah, I have seen Mav do it. And Kate.

Oh, you're saying I reach out to you? No, not to me. But, like, to the... To other people. To other people. Like, if you're like, oh, my gosh, are you okay? Or, like, Kate, are you okay? Like, seriously? We're thoughtful. Yes. And I've never seen Cash do that. And y'all probably haven't seen me do that either, right? No, I've seen you do that. You have? Yeah. You keep glazing her mouth. Yeah, I see you do that. Here's the thing. Cash is just... The empathy part of his brain is just...

he shows his strong it's very strong these are all jokes guys that is false what do you mean our parents our whole life said i have way more empathy than you no honey what they make you're mixing it up yeah they've always said mavericks had more empathy than you no i could call mom right now oh please do no just don't your mom has said that before no no no no no your cousin's saying it i'm

i'm saying it and your wife let me listen to us no no no no oh call her oh no oh y'all are so wrong she if i call home right now she says who has more empathy she's gonna say me alexis has been working here less than a month and he knows you're wrong no he's like no i'm so serious don't call your mom oh my mom's kidding me remember what's your bet i'm telling you she tells me you have more empathy yeah she tells me all the time i have more empathy

And ask her what your strong suit is because she also tells you. You actually think this right now. No, I know it. I don't just think it. I'm not saying you're not a caring person, but you're just like, no. Alex is like, I'd say he's not caring. Mom, I'm telling you, mom's going to say me. Or call your dad. I'm sorry. Call your dad. He might answer. Mom has no empathy. Your mom is the most empathetic person ever. You don't want her to pick up. Trust me.

Okay, I don't know if she's gonna pick up or not. I mean, we'll see if she calls back. Why doesn't she call your dad? My dad? He's probably working. But he's not working at 7 o'clock. Okay, let me call him. There's no... If you genuinely believe this, I feel... Maybe they're in their hot tub. I feel bad. Like, there's no shot he believes this. Mom has told me to my face. Oh, honey. I think he really is mixing up some conversation right now. No. Hi! Oh, hey, Mom.

I'm here with dad. He's just working on some equipment. We're on the podcast right now. Who would you say has more empathy? Me or Maverick? Empathy? What do you think, hon? I would have to probably go with Maverick. No, wait. Wait, everybody be quiet. You don't really get why people feel upset or hurt sometimes or why

You don't really get that a lot of times. No, mom. You're talking stupid. You told me. You guys told me. No, you guys. Let them talk. Wait, what did you say? I said you're out of touch with people's feelings. He said you're out of touch with people's feelings. No, listen. You told me. You told me just the other day that I have more empathy than math. I did? What?

You were like, you have more empathy, Mav has more, and I don't know what it was. Wait, can I talk to her real quick? No. No. She doesn't. Ask her what your strong suit is. I mean, in the context of what we were talking about, it made sense. I don't know. Okay, so what would you say I have more of? Because you said that. You're taller. What was the conference word?

We were talking about people's feelings and the way people are and people's situations and the way people are. And you were like, you've always been more empathetic than Mav. No, I think Maverick... Do you know what empathy means?

Seriously, what does empathy mean to you? Like, you feel bad for people when they're in a situation or you... You're able to really comprehend how they're feeling and why they're feeling that way. And I feel like a lot of times you just look at a situation and you're like, well, that's stupid. They shouldn't feel that way. Instead of...

understanding that that might be painful for them or that might have hurt their feelings. No, but okay, then I'm mixing something up. You told me like... I'm sure we did. I'm just trying to remember the conversation. I don't remember. Probably more aggression. No, you were like, you have more empathy, Maverick has more, and then I don't know what it was. Tara, I think he's mixing up what you guys said. So if you said Maverick has more empathy, what would you have said Cash has?

I think Cash has a lot of compassion. I mean, when he sees someone in need, he doesn't do like most of us and just say, "Oh, I hate that." He actually does something about it. So I think he has a lot of compassion for people. Maybe that's what we were talking about. Yeah. That word does not recognize. Cash definitely has... Yeah, Cash has more compassion. Sympathy!

It's sympathy. No, not that either. That's what I'm thinking of. Okay, sympathy makes you feel sorry for people and then you help them. I mean, that might mean. That's what my mom told me I have more of. No, you don't. Empathy, I think Mad understands, yeah, that can hurt people more. But you are very sympathetic with people and that you're going to step up and like help them or something. Oh, thanks, mom. Yes. Keep telling me how great I am. Yeah, you can keep going. All right. All right. You all have amazing strengths. All right. Thank you, mom. All right.

Bye, love you. No, no, no, no, no, no. Sympathy is the way I was mixed. Empathy and sympathy. He's going to take it to his grave that he was empathetic. No, I'm apologizing. Maybe compassion. No, he is sympathetic. Sympathetic means you feel their pain.

No, that's empathy. Having sympathy for somebody is being like what your mom said. I would say sympathy and compassion. Empathy and sympathy. Now I'm going to look up the definition. Empathy is feeling their pain. Oh, Cash is very sympathetic. Absolutely. What? He is so sympathetic. What? He's not sympathetic to first world problems.

He could not care less if what you wanted at the drive-thru was sold out or if McDonald's put the wrong stuff on your burger. He does not care about that. If you're upset about that and you're about to cry, he does not give two craps. But if he looks at someone in a third world country who's dying of disease, doesn't have a house, he's very sympathetic towards those people. Stuff like that. He's not going to be sympathetic to stupid problems. Okay, so...

I mix it up. Sympathy is the word I meant. People hype up other countries' foods. When I travel anywhere besides America, I'm like, I don't like the food. I've never like... And I tried truffles, truffle pasta, and I threw up. And dads always hype it up. Dads are like, oh, the food in other countries, so good. And you try a piece of bread and it's like a rock. It's like...

I know. Well, I went to the Dominican Republic in Mexico, and I feel like those are pretty similar with their food groups, and it's just Mexican food. But they're really still bad. Every time I go to Mexico or anywhere down there, the desserts are all bad because they don't- Well, it's because they don't use the sugar we use. Yeah, but that makes them not as good. It's better for your body. Give me my sugar. It's better for your body. I do want to go to Europe, though, and try the food because some people love it, some people hate it.

But I want to try it. Very bad. No, I tried the pizza and I thought, this pizza is garbage. But I ordered pepperoni. They gave me some fake pepperonis. Do you try that? What are you Snapchatting? She's Snapchatting. Hold on. We're in the middle of a conversation. I don't want to answer you. I'm sorry. On a podcast. You know what? Ah, boy! No, honestly, guys, I have no energy. Joy, let me use the curse word we know, please. I really want to know what the curse word is. Oh, you know what it was? You know what it was? I know one. It's like, there's broccoli on pizza. Oh.

And then like, Anger got really mad. He's like, well, hello, San Francisco. Everybody eats broccoli on pizza. What? That's so weird. Broccoli on pizza is kind of crazy. Yeah, I don't know who would eat broccoli on pizza. But I will stand by until the day I die. The best pizza out there.

is pineapple and ham oh absolutely not man that kind of makes me want to throw up hawaiian is the best pizza in the world i don't think i've ever wanted to take something off my face so bad worst pizzas that i don't even understand why people eat are like olives broccoli mushrooms i don't understand why people eat that stuff on a pizza makes it horrid what's your favorite ride at disneyland i've never been oh i have been rock and roller coaster rock and roller coaster or like space

like Space Mountain? Oh, Disneyland or Disney? Space Mountain's good. Oh, I've only been to Disneyland. Oh, well, I've been to both, Disney World and Disneyland. Have you actually? But Disneyland is like the, is the, what's it called? Like where the big thing is. What did you just say? I've been to Disneyland and Disney World. Do you mean, do you mean? I've never been to Disney World.

Orlando? Universal maybe Universal that's what I mean I love Universal Universal my favorite part Never been You never went with me? I've only been to Disneyland twice And it was both times in California Once with Kate and then once this other time With who? Who'd you go with? You remember What'd she look like? I know you probably don't remember her name Cause you never remember any girl's name Not as pretty as you sweetheart

Shoot. Yo. Wait, what was her name? No, you actually know who it was. You don't remember? No.

Yeah. Listen to this. I got scammed. Oh, you did probably. Those tickets are high. This is this girl that I kind of knew a little bit. And I was like, hey, do you want to go to Disneyland? She's like, yeah. Universal Studios is better. No, listen to this. This is crazy. So I take this girl to Disneyland. Just me and her. Okay? I get there. I buy her ticket to Disneyland. You don't even buy mine.

even buy my ticket when we went. What do you mean? Yes, I did. What? No, I'm kidding. I buy her, I buy this girl's ticket to Disneyland. My ticket. We go to Disneyland, right? I'm like, okay. This would be, you know, whatever, right? This girl has a boyfriend. Oh. She had a boyfriend and came to Disneyland with me. Let me buy her ticket.

Wow. Is that not crazy? And then I was like, why is this girl like... I was like, why did she come here? She's not really into me. Because it wasn't getting into me vibes. It wasn't getting into me vibes? Yeah. And then I was like, why is she acting weird? And then I go to her Instagram. And then she's still... She's dating the dude. And I was like...

Why are you here? Like, is that not crazy? If you were in a relationship, going to Disneyland with the opposite sex one-on-one and then buying your ticket and going to Disneyland, that's kind of crazy. No, if I was in a relationship and a famous person said, do you want to go to Disneyland together? Then, of course, I would go to Disneyland. No, it'd be weird. Imagine you were in a relationship and you're older, too. You're like 19. Yeah.

Yeah, you think Kevin Hart asked your mom to go to Disneyland? She's going to go, sure. Wouldn't this be weird if your mom and one other guy just went to Disneyland? And one guy just took your mom to Disneyland? That'd be weird. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's weird. Yeah.

That would be mad weird. I got scammed. I just bought this girl to get into Disneyland. Yeah, well, that's what you get for... I was like 16. I was like 16. I was like 16. Do you know what... That means you were like 14. No, I would have been 15. Okay, you were 15. Kate, when she was like 12 and like 16, she just took a photo of herself doing everything, like crying.

Crying again. Dude, it's okay. And then crying again. I understand. You just need to document your life and the memories, you know? And I don't understand. I can successfully say I have never taken a picture of myself crying. Never one time in my life. Well, maybe because you're a boy. Maverick, no. Maverick took a picture of himself crying. When did I take a picture of myself crying? Remember I found out on your camera roll? What are you talking about? You remember that, right? Yeah. When? Oh.

You're gonna act like you don't remember, huh? Oh, you're just gonna make something up again. I'm not making it up. Kate's backing me. I do. I do. But like a week later, it got out of my eye. I genuinely feel like you're lying, but I feel like Kate's telling the truth, so I don't know who to believe. What do you mean? We found it. You were like laying in bed crying. You took a picture of yourself. Alright, that's it. I'm gonna make all y'all play rock, paper, scissors to see who gets shot.

Mav and Kinsey go ahead. Wait, is it like one person's getting shot? It'll be a process of elimination. Okay, okay. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh no. Okay, so Kinsey's safe. Mav and Harper play. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh no. Oh no. Okay, Mav. Oh no.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. There's a microphone right here. Hey, losing three games in a row is crazy. You lost three in a row, dawg. I understand if someone's getting a shot, it should probably be me. You understand you shouldn't do that. We have a microphone. Wait, you didn't even play. Give me the water gun. You and Matt have to play still. Oh, no, that's okay. I'm the guy with the water gun. No, give me the water gun. No, that's okay. Unfortunately, nobody will be getting the water gun. I'm not doing anything.

I'm just shooting a ladybug out of my eye. Yeah, that's okay. I'll hold the water gun. You know what I'm excited for? I'm excited for their actual wedding and for Cash to genuinely give his best man speech. Oh, I'm so ready. Oh, no, I'm not excited about that. Well, first of all, Maverick didn't think this two years ago when he freaked up my wedding. Maverick gave a best man speech at our wedding that was...

So bad we can't post it. Yeah, I mean you could put that into verbiage there. We wanted to post it online, but it was so horrid that we can't even post it on the internet. What? I said some crazy things. He said some very insane things. Have you ever seen it? No. It's so bad. I don't even want to show her. We literally can't post it online because it's so bad. Just show me. And we wanted to. There was a lot of inside jokes, and there was a lot of things that weren't so inside jokes that probably shouldn't have been said.

So my speech is going to even be better than that, but it's also going to be a speech slash rap slash song. Oh, really? Oh, love, reggae, kick.

Yeah, I'm gonna do a rap. I'm gonna bring a Harper at one segment to sing. It's gonna be great Honestly, I will make sure it's not gonna embarrass you. Okay, please I don't care about getting and then I'll show Kate my fake speech and then I'll rip out my actual one yo yo after Kate approves after Kate approves your job PG cuz my grandparents will be there. Oh, no one cared about that. Tell them to turn their hearing aids off My wedding no one

got a heads up to turn their hearing aids off. Maverick's grandma was trying to beat him. I think my grandma would actually walk up and just like hit you and like tackle you to the floor. So let's just... What if I'm the DJ? Yes, do you ever please be the DJ at your wedding? DJ Harper. All you would hear the whole time is...

So kiss marry kill cash yes your options are option one

She-Hulk. Kiss. What the? Wait, who's She-Hulk? It's the girl version of Hulk. Yeah, but that's not a thing, is it? No, it is. She-Hulk. She-Hulk is real? Is she cute? Oh, yeah. She's a lawyer. Is it his Hulk with a little pink bow in her hair? No, she's kind of just like a jacked girl. She-Hulk is real. She-Hulk is a real person. The female version of Hulk. She has her own show. What? On Disney+. She-Hulk. This is true. Okay. You looking up a picture? Yeah. Show him so he gets the understanding.

What the? Oh. Yeah, you like She-Hulk, huh? You into those green Shrek type people. Okay. Yeah, that looks like straight up Shrek. It looks like Fiona. Shrek's on steroids. She-Hulk is one. Next, you have Kim Possible.

Good option. Honestly, solid option. Kim Possible. Third. Do you know who Kim Possible is? The girl with the black hair? Are you picking retro people, bro? What? Am I showing my age right now? Yeah. Okay. Well, last one is Miss Puff, SpongeBob's driving teacher. Oh, dude. Me and Miss Puff would hit it off. Oh, you think?

That was so good. Maybe Miss Puff would hit it off. Bro, I think Miss Puff would puff you away into her dust. She gonna huff and puff and we're gonna kiss. Oh, so you're kissing Puff? I'm kissing Puff. You're kissing Puff? Kiss. You gotta kiss Puff. Bro, but then you have to kill She-Hulk or Kim Possible. Yeah, okay. I think I'll kill the Hulk, girl. I know you like those big girls. Come on.

Hello. How'd you know? You like those girls that can overpower you. Yeah, Kate's... How'd you know that, Matt? Look at Kate. Yeah, she's been going to the gym. How'd you know? I just love shredded women. No, the funniest takeoff you've ever made is it's not even, like, funny, but, like, it's like when, like, you were eating your goldfish, and you're like, I like my whale.

And like, he was like, there's, Kate was like, there's plenty of fish in the sea. And I'm like, yeah, but like some are whales. And then, and then casually, Hey, I like my whale. That is a funny TikTok. I love that TikTok. I don't even remember that one. It was a funny thing. It goes like this. It goes like this. You ready? You ready? It goes, uh, ask, ask, tell me there's plenty of fish in the sea. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Yeah. But Kate, some of those fish are like other girl fish. And some of those fish are whales. Hey, I like my whale. Oh,

Oh. You really didn't give a joke until we demonstrated? Yeah. I don't remember that. You don't remember that video? No. It's a viral video. That's really awkward. Yeah, I'm killing She-Hulk, kissing Miss Puff, marrying Kim Possible. Wow. At Grandma's funeral. We were there.

And it's pretty much like me and Kate and everyone else there is above the age of like 60 plus. Maybe 70 or 80. It was all her friends. It was a lot of old people. Old, old people, right? One of these old people. At least she had a lot of friends. That's what I'm saying. Do I look shy? One of her old friends come up to me. Some old people, they just be singing like Juice WRLD as they're going out. All my friends are dead. What the fuck?

That was crazy. That's going to be you. I feel like we're all going to die before you. Yeah, Kate's going to be the last one alive for sure. I'll be the last one alive. You're not that much younger than Kate. Kate, you're going to watch all of us die. I probably am. You know how I'm chronically afraid of dying? I'm never going to die. That's what's going to happen. You're going to look back and you're going to be like everyone on the podcast, all the behind the scenes people, all of them are gone.

Just you. I know. Isn't it going to be so sad? It's going to be very sad. But I'm going to be the last one living, obviously. And I'm going to help bury y'all. So I'm going to help bury. You know what's crazy? I feel like you won't eat. Like the odds of you being even being at our funerals is probably pretty low. No, I was being at my funeral. Yeah. I want her to bury me. You dig the hole. Yeah. With the tractor digging the hole. I dig the door. You dig it.

that would be what happened at the funeral though i feel like harvard would just like kick me down though she's just like okay in the hole no so we were like i'm still alive she's like i have a nail appointment i have to get to shut up yeah anyways we're at the funeral that's what she would say oh okay i'm not standing here for you're trying to rush the story i'm not standing a fourth time guys you're just trying to rush it tell y'all about my hair oh got it got it keep going

Is everybody just going to interrupt me again? No, we're ready. You're really interrupting us. Cameraman chicken said yes. I'm going to stop talking until you tell your story. Okay. What happened? So I was at the funeral. Yeah. And this old person comes up to me. Grandma's keep in mind. Grandma's she dead. Yeah. We're all sitting there. She passed. We're all. I mean, we're front row, too, because we're we're family. Bro, make it sound like a concert. No, I'm saying like we're family. Right. So we're front row. Yeah. And we're all sitting there.

Kate's family's all crying. I never really met grandma much, so I mean, I didn't really know her very well, but Kate's kind of crying. Everybody's crying, right? Did he not cry?

I never really knew her. I mean, I met her a couple times. By the time Cash and I started dating, her dementia was really bad, so she couldn't really talk or anything. So everyone's kind of crying, you know, sobbing. It's a funeral. It's sad. This old person walks up to me, straight up, like a savage. Is there something wrong? No, I'm just waiting for what this old person's about to say. Are you saying because I was looking at all the cameras? Yeah. Oh, no, I was just making sure they're all rolling. Oh.

This person comes up to me. They're like 80 years old. Like a freaking savage and just goes, biggest smile on their face. Looks at me and Katie and goes, congratulations. And I was like, I was like, I didn't know what to say. I was like, she didn't leave us much. She didn't have a big trust. But I was like, uh,

And then I didn't know what to say. And it was like a good... You were like, hi, grandmama. Yeah, it was like a good silence. And then they're like, congrats on being married.

And we were like, oh, our marriage. Yes, yes, we've been married for a year and a half now. People would stop congratulating us. Yeah, nobody was congratulating. I mean, it was like a year and a half. Yeah, it was like a year and a half. And congratulating somebody at a funeral while they're sitting front row is crazy. That is kind of crazy. You're like in tears. They're like, congratulations. You know, I literally said it like that. I was like, you crazy.

creep. No, it was good. It lifted my spirits. One time I did see Harper and Kate. They tripped and fell on this rug and they stood up and their makeup imprint was just stuck in the rug. It was an exact...

piece of art of their face yeah just like them like the blush and everything was like on a black rug you could probably sell it you want to do it again no no that didn't happen but it does happen on my shirt like when kate leans on my shirt she gets up and i'm like

That's literally not what you said yesterday. What? He's trying to get me to lay down with him, and I was like, I'm wearing makeup. It's going to get on all your shirt. Let me take it off. He was like, I don't care. The truth comes out. Yeah, okay. You know what else she said? She said, after doors close, you're a different person. She said... And I said the same thing about you. Kinsey said the same thing about you. That's not true. Everyone knows that about Matt. No. Cash sits there, and she said, yeah, he acts tough and all this stuff. I did not say that. But then...

What do I do? That's what she said. Now let her speak. What did you say?

No, we were just talking because Mav, Cash, Kinsey, and I were in the car talking about a topic and the boys were being very obnoxious about it. They were being kind of rude and weren't hearing me and Kinsey out. And I was like, you guys are just being rude. And the second we get into the room, Cash is like, no, it's all for fun. Like, I understand where you're coming from completely. It's just those serious conversations aren't actually serious.

Obviously, Mav and Kinsey are going to go have a serious conversation about it by themselves. Oh, honey, boo-boo. That was not me switching up behind closed doors. You switched up behind closed doors. Because as soon as we walked in behind a closed door and the door shut, guess what happened? She started crying. Because I was stressed out. So, obviously, when you start crying, I have to be. It's me. It's only nice to me when I cry. No, but I'm saying you're the one that switched the vibe. What the heck are y'all doing, bro? We're just letting him chill. He's just hanging. No.

You really make yourself look so rude on the podcast. What do you mean? Like he's not a mean person but on the podcast he's like I was only nice because you were crying. That's not what I said. No wait pause. That's not what I said. Yeah he's a super villain. No that's not what I said. You said I switched up behind closed doors. I said well obviously I switched up behind closed doors because you started crying. Well if I

wouldn't have been crying you probably would have come in there and said the same thing though well not if you were fine let's stunt but yes i'm a little different behind closed doors uh no off the podcast and everyone here can contest that cash is a normal human being off the podcast what do you what is that supposed to mean we literally ended the last episode now did we talk okay we no no no no say that because i don't i don't know what order everything's everything's gonna go in but we ended an episode can i say that uh sure we ended an episode

Uh, the, the, where I was opening up about my eating disorder. Harper, stop picking at your skin. What did you do? The whole episode, you argue, episode ended. We're all like, man, we actually thought like you were like. Okay, Matt, we're talking about that on the next one. Irritated. We're talking about that. That one's on this episode. Okay. I want to know what you have to say, Cash. Talk to me. Open up to your wife. It's okay, Cash. Your part on this podcast is to play the villain.

You've done that since the first episode. I don't want to be the villain. You've always been the villain. I don't want to be the villain. Who do you want to be? Who does Cash want to be? A hero. Everyone needs a hero. True. Zero people shouldn't have a hero. Logan is my hero. He is really nice. So I went and made a song about him twice. What? A song about him twice? That's really nice. Everyone needs someone to idolize.

No, don't make people idols, please. Especially us. I lost 10 pounds in three days, and that was about two weeks ago, and I have eaten so much since then, and I still, I've only gained two more pounds. How has this affected your marriage? I don't know. Well, it's affected my marriage as in the way, because, you know,

I need to eat more. And she doesn't understand how much I need to eat. So she doesn't make me the right amount of portions. And when she's cooking for me, I end up eating all of it. And she's like, why are you eating all of it? Because I'm malnourished. And she doesn't understand that. She's never been malnourished. So she doesn't understand how I feel. Are you saying she's fat?

She's never been malnourished? I mean, she's got reserves on her dump truck. You know what I mean? I don't have those. I'll prove it to you right now. I don't have reserves. That's quite all right. No, you know what happened? If I had reserves, I wouldn't need to eat so much. But wait, let me finish. When I don't have enough, it starts eating my muscles and my bones away because I have a... What's that called? I have a...

I have a metabolism disorder. Disorder? I have to eat a lot. Can somebody fix this so I don't have to hold my mic? Wait, Joe, can you hear it through mine? It's bad. I think it's like double coming through because it's so close. Yeah, I don't think we can have two. Here, I'll readjust. How about you get up? Wait, no. Can you just like make his arm longer? How about you get up like a big boy? Just take it off and hold it. I'm serious. You're like crushing me, babe. Listen, the truth is, guys, Cash and Kate got...

No, I needed to feed myself as a wife. No, I needed to feed myself as a wife. He said, he said, she doesn't feed me. Wait, wait, wait, let me hold the mic for you. She doesn't feed me at all. Y'all want to know what I fed him? Bro, I ate a whole pound of ground beef. No, no, no. A whole pound? A pound of ground beef.

beef and like like that's what you put in hamburger helper you eat the whole pot of hamburger helper all for himself i was like okay i'm gonna let it go no yeah and my mom never understood my mom was like you don't need a third bowl i was like yes i do because of my deficiency problem i literally said i

said i made a pot of hamburger helper and i was like okay it's gonna cool and i said cash is ready if you want to come get some and i was gonna go take a shower i was gonna eat some and i came back and it was all gone well that's exactly so i just didn't eat dinner i think that's what he's mad about

That's what I'm mad about. Listen. I say she doesn't make me enough portions. Listen, the last three nights in a row, what have I ate? Hamburger helper. So wouldn't you think by the third night that you should probably make more? You know what I'm saying? Like if I ate three nights in a row, I ate all of it. Is this the biggest problem in your marriage? Yeah, we have a pretty good marriage besides the hamburger helper. You know what? I bought...

pounds of hamburger meat and i it's in our freezer and i can't just put four pounds on the stove for one night when you got married you had to i assume ask her parents can you hear me how did that go my cellular device oh how'd that go i'm just thinking if a 17 year old came up to me and was like hey i want to marry your daughter i'm gonna be like no kid yeah so when i asked

Especially when he tells me his job is Instagram. I'm going to be like, no. I do Instagram. Yeah, when I asked her dad if we could get married, well, he only said... No. He only said four words. Four words? Those must have been some important words. He said four words when I asked. Okay, I was 16 years old when Cash asked him. Yeah, so Harper, she was only a year and a half older than you.

Getting married. That's crazy to think about. Wow. That's a child. Imagine some guy. She was fresh out the crib. That's my sister's age. No, younger than my sister. A year younger. Yeah. My sister getting married right now would be so weird. When does your sister turn 18?

Next year. Yeah. We asked to get married when she was 16, which is crazy to think about. That is psycho. And so I go to him. I would have honestly as a dad been like, yeah, sure, whatever. It's not going to happen. Like, sure. If that's your dream, buddy, think about it. But knowing like, yeah, they're kids. They'll break up. Yeah.

What's wrong? I'm just so... I'm just... I can't. She's uncomfortable with you. Just let me sit. You make her uncomfortable. Just let me sit in the other chair. She doesn't like how you are. So, when I asked her dad to get married... I just... I can't. Just let me sit in the other chair. Yes, you can. Just sit up straight. Good posture. Posture? There you go. I feel like...

A middle school couple? This is not normal. For everybody in the comment section that's like, why don't they act like a couple? I'm trying. I'm trying. I can't. She doesn't want me. When I asked her father for her hand in marriage...

It was, first of all, very intense because he's just always in the garage. And so I had to go out to the garage. I was like, okay, here we go. You're like acting like you know what these tools do. You're like, yeah, yeah. I was like, I'm going to go ask him if I can marry his 16-year-old daughter. What could go wrong? I go out there and I was like... That's crazy. Hey, man.

What you doing? You guys were so young. Y'all were just upstairs watching Elmo. And you're like, I'm going to go ask to marry your daughter. And I was like, so what would you think about me and Kate getting married in the near future? And he stops what he's doing. He just drops it. And he's like, and he was like, he just turns around to me. I'll never forget this moment. He just turns around to me and he goes, I'll think about it.

And then he, I'm not even kidding. He turns right back around and keeps doing what he was doing. I was like, don't think about it. Okay. And his back's to me again now. And I was just like, I think we're going to go finish Barney. Yeah. I was like, I'm just going to go back inside. And I don't, I didn't get an answer for like a week or two. And then I was like, do I ask him again? Did he forget about it? Like, I don't know what to do. And then he, and then he finally, he like called me into the garage one day and he was like, I thought about it.

That's good. That's good. And he was like, all I ask is that you wait until she's at least 18. So that's a crazy low bar, by the way. So we did. We got married two days after she turned 18.

Two days after her birthday. Hey, don't be an overachiever or anything. Two days. We did wait the two days. So it was a win-win. And did you, like, how did the conversation go with the rest of the family? Hold on. Kate's very uncomfortable. So there's a lot of allegations saying, like, why would you get married? Allegations? Yeah. Do you know what allegations are? No. Okay. I love you so much, but I just did not love that seating arrangement.

So, how did the conversations go with the rest of the family? My lips are so chapped. So, when the rest of the family found out we were getting married... Mom and... Yeah, it was kind of awkward because, you know, her other sister thought we were going to be getting married. And so, I had to break the news to her that I chose this sister. What? And the... That's crazy. That's not true at all, by the way. The brothers...

Well, one of them didn't find out until like six months later after we were engaged. Michael? Yeah. No, the other one, Zach. He didn't find out? No. And he was like, nobody told me this. Everybody's like, I don't know. Y'all never told him? Well, he lives in Arkansas. Who goes there? So you can't text him? Yeah, but like... I don't remember what happened. People in Arkansas just disappear. Like, who's in Arkansas? My dad. That's crazy. My dad moves away.

No, he doesn't. Your dad lives at your house. Oh, he doesn't. Not anymore. Yes, he does. No, don't believe her, guys. Her dad lives at her house. She's a happy family. No, she goes up to Arkansas for work trips. She? My dad. Yes. I shouldn't have said that. It's a secret. Anyways. Yeah, so most of the family was pretty cool about it. Your mom didn't really care. Your dad seemed stressed. Yeah.

Your sister's mad, understandably. Shut up. Your brother, he didn't really care. I think he thought it was cool. And then your oldest brother...

Yeah, he was just a little confused why nobody told him ever. Tell them about our cute little date to James Avery. Yeah, so I was like, I want you to pick out a charm for my bracelet. And he was like, okay. Wait, wait, pause. Did you guys hear that? What did Kate say? Pick out a charm for my bracelet. I want you to pick out a charm for my bracelet. Yeah. That's what she told me. Okay. So I happily got in the car and happily drove to James Avery to spend $80 on a little nugget that's this big.

Okay, they charge you $80 for a piece of metal that is this big. $80. They charge you $280 for a charm. Okay, Harper, no need to flex on us right now. My charm nugget was $280. Anyway, so she asked me to pick out a charm I like for her bracelet. Let me finish. And this is what she did to me. Go ahead. He was like, this is the one I want. And I come over. Lo and behold, can you guess what charm he picked out for me?

an i heart oklahoma charm he wanted to put on my charm bracelet i said i'll see what's wrong with that i'm from oklahoma nope you just switched up no what you just trashed oklahoma he want yeah but it's still my home state gotta represent he wanted me to put and everyone knows my opinions on oklahoma i don't vibe with oklahomans like what i'm literally from there like what does that even mean

You're right. You do vibe with them. Trust me, we vibe. Everyone that lives in this house except you is from Oklahoma. All three of us. Actually, everyone in this room is Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Arkansas. And where are you from? Oklahoma. That's what I thought. Oh, she is. No, she is from Oklahoma. You're such a cat. No, no, no. She was born there. She was born there. No, you were not. Yes, she was. Yes, she was. No, you were not. Yes, she was. No, they told us that. I think that's actually true. It is true. I'm not buying that crap. It is true, but... No. No.

I didn't know. So it wasn't you. Okay, so most of us. My grandparents are. Oh, so she's a bloodline. Your bloodline. So she originated from Oklahoma. No, my dad's from there, and that means I'm from there. Yeah, so she's got strong Oklahoma blood. Are you sweating? Because I've never stolen. I'm sweating so bad right now. Really? I would give you... Hard for feel. No, I'm good. I'm good.

You wanna feel it? Oh my god, it's like dripping. Like, oh wow. Ew. Oh man. It's like a little swimming pool up in there. I would literally pay one of you five dollars if y'all touch it. Okay. Actually. I would just go. Okay, do it.

You gotta touch the hair. Harper, you don't need $5.00. Do it. Harper, you don't need that. Stop trying to get little girls to touch you guys. That's weird. You're paying them now? You can't say stuff like that, Maverick. This episode started with how Kate...

Sorry. He liked underage girls then and now he's 10. I was underage. No, you were 18. Wait, what are you saying, Joe? Were you underage? Yes, he was underage. No, I wasn't underage. She's not like you. I mean, at some point, I was 18 and you were 17. And we had been together for two years by then. Which is legal in Texas. Legal in Texas. I Googled it. Wait, what's legal in Texas?

To date children. It's like the Romeo and Juliet law where, like, if you guys are dating, and there's, like, I don't know, it's within, like, two years. I know the law very well. I know the law very well. You sound like Trump. So...

So what you do if you want to... No, stop. That's a horrible opening sentence. Trump was approved by Utah or something or Ohio? No, let me restart. So if you find yourself dating an underage person...

What you need to do is go to the Romeo and Juliet law if you live in Texas. What are you saying right now? I'm just telling you what the law is. I'm just explaining the law. Okay, so it's definitely not the Romeo and Juliet law. That law is not what you're going to be talking about right now. Is that not the law? No, that was the other law. Oh. Okay, well, there's a law is if you're within like two years apart of the minor and unminor. So if you're 18 and 17, it's still legal, which obviously it should be. Well, also in the state of Texas, 17 is like...

17 is an adult in Texas. Yeah. It's the new 18. 17 is the age I can say. Would you date an 18-year-old? No. Yes. No, you shouldn't date an 18-year-old. If they had money. And if they were short. You know, my mom was 14 and my dad was, was he 18 or 19? Well, she was a freshman and he was, no, she was in eighth grade and he was a senior.

So how old are you in eighth grade? No! You're like 13. Eighth grade and a senior is crazy. That's crazy. I would not do that. So he was 18 and she was how old? Like 13 or 14. Yeah, so she was like 13 or 14 and he was 18. That's crazy. Imagine being a senior in high school and being like, yeah, I'm dating one of the middle schoolers.

I could not be friends with you. You heard it here first. Did you Google the Romeo and Juliet law yet? That is not the law. Well, whatever the law is. I don't know what the law is. Let me think. 16. So did you know Piper Rockhill? She actually, Levi's 18 and she's 16. Not Levi. Yeah, Lev. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. You can be 18 and 17 or like, it's like two years is the thing. Yeah.

Yeah, you can be. But also, when you're dating. Because I thought about that. Oh, go ahead. If you start dating when you're like 14 and 16, and then you're together for a couple years, and then the guy, like, he turns 18, and then you're 16, like, that's not illegal. Before you guys got married. This is not legal advice. I do. We don't really know. Oh, yeah. We actually are not lawyers, so don't take anything too seriously. Do y'all have any regrets before y'all got married? Like, do you regret? What the? You can't say that. That's a bad word. Oh, my God.

That is not a good word. It's definitely not an appropriate word. Well, that's what he was, you know. I bleeped it out. Well, now if you bleep it, they're going to think he even said a worse word. I know, that's why.

Do you regret being... Just cut that whole clip. Before... No, okay. I'll rephrase the question. Before you got married, do you regret being... Wait, wait, wait. Just do one of those little bleep things. You know those little... And then come to this scene right here. All right. Before you got married, do you regret being... What? Scandalous? Scand...

You act like I was dressing weird. What do you mean? You mean kissing 30 plus girls? You're kissing lots of girls. No. Why are we talking about this again? And second of all. That's just what Maverick asked. It's just a question. This is supposed to be about our happy marriage. Yeah, I'm asking pre-marriage now. Well, do you regret it? Do I regret what? Kissing 30 plus girls. Making out with all the women. First of all, they were not women.

Yes, they were second of all some so second of all Yeah, like yes you regret it. Yes. I remember asking you like the day after each one you said no I don't regret it. No you this is he's just making up lies that never happened me and Kate were watching a movie last night or two nights ago something like that and it was the movie had y'all seen the movie

There's like a snowboarders going to ski lift and the ski lift gets stuck. It's like frozen That's what it's called frozen. Is it really? Yeah, that's ironic. Different kind of frozen. Yeah, don't watch this frozen. These skiers go on a ski trip and their ski lift stops at night and no one knows they're there and they're there like all week. Have you seen that movie?

What was I gonna tell at all? Wait, have you seen that movie? No. Oh, anyways, they break their legs. The one guy jumps off the ski and he breaks his legs and the wolves come and eat him alive while their two friends watch. And it's very, very gruesome and just not a fun watch. And anyways...

Kate wakes up after that guy's dead and there's only two on the ski lifts and she looks up the ending to the movie wakes up she's not even watching the movie I'm watching the movie she's asleep Kate wakes up oh no looks at the screen gets on her phone googles who lives goes back to bed

I was like... Doesn't even watch the movie. I don't like movies like that and I was stressing because I didn't... No, you're actually the worst person ever to watch a movie with. I didn't tell him what happened. Yeah, but after the movie she was like, I knew she lived already. It's like you just started taking away the whole experience of the movie. I didn't want to experience that movie. That's why I went to bed. Cash was like, do you want to watch this? I said, no, I'm going to go to sleep. It'd be like going to watch a tournament and you already know who won. Do you know what the official name for our country is?

The United States of America. Is this true? What? Is it true? What is it? I don't know. I don't know what you mean. We have a lot of names. America, America, United States of America, USA, the US. Okay. I believe it's the United States of America. Wow. Is it though? Because really, your passport, what does it say? United States of America. US passport. It's an abbreviation for the United States.

So of America isn't included. No, because we're the United States. You know someone might have put their bare butt on that toilet seat. Yeah. I mean, I did, but you think anybody else besides me? Well... Alex has pointed it out himself. One day I'm going to switch out that toilet seat for like one of the ones in the rest of the house. I would hate myself for the rest of my life. That would be horrible. Because I'd be doing everything. Earlier I had it in my mouth like this.

- Oh, that's nice. - Ew! - And if that was a real toilet seat, that'd be bad. - That's still bad, honestly. Even if it's not a real toilet seat. - Me and Kate were actually talking about how we wanna adopt a kid. You wanna be adopted? - Yes.

Oh, imagine y'all adopted Harper. That would be so bad if y'all adopted Harper. Y'all would ruin her. We would ruin her. Yeah, you'd just turn her into a working machine. The girl would have no life. That's not true. Build more content. Cash would not let her do school. Would he let me go to parties? Not if it interfered with the content. Yeah.

Oh. Wait, I actually want to sing. Oh, you do it. Okay. And don't rap. Okay, what type of song do I sing a lot? Sing your freaking, I don't know. The other day, I heard you actually sing good. And what was that? What the? No, what was that song? That was a genuine compliment. Yeah, he was such a jerk to me, dude. We're singing on the microphone trying to make a song.

We've been singing there all day. For years, actually. Yeah, years we've been singing on this studio. It's actually on the other side of this wall. I'm saying the story.

I was actually giving you a taste of your own medicine I always hear gash's voice and then one time chase turned off the auto-tune and he was like

Oh, Harper, Honey Boo Boo, we've all heard Queen Bee. No, what I heard. Literally what I heard. Turn off the tune, buddy. First of all, I want everyone to know who was like, Harper's song has so much attitude. He set it up. Ah.

I never claimed to be a mixer master producer. Cash said, Harper, you can sing good, but I'm gonna make you a rapper. No. And then everybody's like, why is there so much audio? And I was like, I didn't choose that. You did choose that. Wait, why do we have to put auto tune on it? Hmm. Because she's too nice to tell you. I don't want auto tune. It's her song. She could have been like, Hey, let me see without auto tune. We turned it off. That wasn't going to happen.

Really? We had to crank that baby to 101. Didn't even know it went that high. Cash just didn't want to be the only one on the song with auto-tune. Fine, we'll have a sing-off, Harper. Go. Oh, this is not good. Oh, God. Okay, guys. Sing Queen B. This is like... I feel like we're in Pitch Perfect. Queen B, you started out, so you start. Okay, okay, okay. I sound the exact same.

- Okay, sing it. - Okay. - Okay, so it starts off like Piper. - Piper Rock, come on. - No, no, it starts off Piper. I didn't want to write this song about you, but this one was easy. It really came from the heart. - It feels so good. - Stop, don't cough on her. You don't cough on her. - Sorry, sorry. - You interrupted her solo. - She has contamination OCD, don't do that. - Yeah, and with all that said and done, I really hope you enjoy this song. - Here's talking. - And if you don't, I honestly don't care.

Well my part was kind of like a chant like supposed to sound auto-tune II like it was supposed to sound like a robot Like this there's a new queen No, no, you're like I saw you know

So finally Chase is like I think you should just stay one's new one note can you do a riff off? Yeah, it's perfect. So we'll clap for y'all you first wait Oh no Wait, I was kind of good Why do you always say that to me bro? Stop saying that

No, because I think I hear you try so many different things on the mic. 95% of the things that they try don't sound great. What the? Y'all should see Kate on the mic. Y'all should see Kate on the mic. Y'all doing so much shade over there. I'm glad I'm over here. This is getting crazy. When you sing good, you sing good, but you guys spend so much time. Like what you just did, that was good. But you guys spend a lot of time. I was good. You thought that was good? No, y'all spend so much time.

Hey, stop bullying each other. You like that? You like that? Oh, no. Yeah, you like that? No. Come on. No, I don't like it anymore. Tell me how great I am. Oh, no. Come on. Because I hear you in the... Come on. Oh, no. Okay, the comments... Glory, glory. Okay, stop. Please stop. No, because I hear you in the studio. No one encouraged me. Oh, no.

Please, nobody encourage him. It's so bad. Listen, y'all try something. Let me open for today. Take this music and use it. Let it take you away. Let me open. Okay, I guess he hit that note, but like not in a good way. No, I don't want to see it. Yeah, he hit it like he punched you. Do that, do that, do that. My name is Roger.

I don't know that. I know that. Yeah. My name is Regina George. And I am from One Direction. Is that it? No, it's from One Direction. Maybe it's the way she walks. That song? That's the face he made. Right into my heart and stole it. Through the door and past the guards. No, they always sing this face. Just like she already wanted. And I said, can you give it back to me?

She said never in your wildest dreams. And we danced all night. Best song ever. She knew every line. Now I can't remember how it goes. But I know that I will be next time. And I said eh, eh, eh. Oh, I think it went oh, oh. I think it went oh.

Yeah, that's how that song goes. Let's see. Let's see. Okay, I'll actually try to sing it, but I need like a song I can actually sing. Okay, do Old Town Road. Cash always tries to get me to sing and I just can't. Hey, that's not bad. Keep going. Can you shut up with that line, bro? I swear if I hear you say that one more time. You're like, oh, I'm gonna take my, wait, no, I'm gonna take, hey.

Let's see. Yeah, everybody put your earplugs in. Ready? Ready? Wait, actually, do you want us to? Probably, for your own sake. Alright, ready guys? I'm gonna sing now. Here we go. I'll sing our new song that's coming out. I'm so sorry, everyone. This is our new song that will be coming out in the near future. Alright, ready? Wait, wait, wait. Not yet, not yet. I see what you're doing. Not yet, not yet. Is that good?

Listen well that will the comments will decide they're gonna judge you so hardcore so oh you know that was not good Hey, I thought it was pretty good. You remember that party. What part? Oh my gosh where they tried to kill him? Dude, I have saved a man's life and I have never been credited for it. That's crazy I have never been credited for saving this man's life. Actually now that I'm thinking about it

I don't even know if he told me thank you. Does he even know that? He couldn't talk. He doesn't remember. Oh, talk, man. He wasn't conscious. I was in L.A. I'm like 16 years old, 17 years old. I'm in L.A. My friends are like, pull up to this house party. A VidCon party, right? Yeah, it's at VidCon. I don't know if you guys know what VidCon is. It's like a C-Shoopers event. They're like, pull up to this Airbnb party. I pull up, and...

I'm there. It's not a very good party. You know, people are doing bad things at this party. And I get there and I'm like, this is not the type of party I thought it was. So I was just going to go home. Oh, was there no like pretty girl she could kiss? What the? No. It was a fun party besides that. Like there was a guy, we were taking money from the guys with the dollar, remember? Oh yeah, yeah. But I go out to the backyard and they're all like, just like, there's like,

40 people talking they're like just throw him in the pool i'm like wait what they're all not they're all like just throw him in the pool i was like yeah who's throwing in the pool and i go over there and it's one of my like friends slash acquaintances like i'm not like best friends with him or anything you know who he is but yeah i've seen him around had some conversations with him he's another like creator right he's completely unconscious like i'm talking out like i'm talking like this

But not even sitting. He's on the ground. Intoxicated, gone. He's laying on the ground, completely gone. I've never seen someone so gone in my life. And I was like... You lift his arm up and it was just like... No, literally, I was like... They're all about to throw him in the pool. I'm like, that'll wake him up. I was like, yo...

Wake up! He's gonna drown. I started lifting up his arm, dropping him. Everything. I started punching his arm. I was like, wake up! I'm yelling at him, punching his arm. Wake up! They're gonna kill you! Wake up! Nothing. And all these people that were under the influence were like, wake up!

No. No, no, that's okay. That's okay. That's so bad. Because I'm like the only non-influenced person there. But I thought you were an influencer. All that money, you know, drinking the Pepsi. And I wasn't. And.

It was just me and my other friend. I was like, dude, I think it might have been Parker there. I don't know. I was like, it's okay. I'll take him home. I'll take him home. I texted or called his two best friends that I know. I was like, hey, I got y'all's homie here.

They're trying to kill him. They're trying to sacrifice him. But I told them no to the sacrifice. But you should come get him because you're turning into a mob. And I was like, what do you want me to do with him? He's like, he's a 200-pound man. Just here. And they're like, can you bring him back to the hotel? I was like, I guess. So... Oh. How have we ever told this story? This is...

It's like a secret story. Nobody knows this story. I forgot about this story until you brought it up. Me and these three guys, we all grab a limb. I grab an arm and an arm and a leg and a leg. We all grab a limb and we order an Uber. And the Uber comes and we're carrying this guy outside and he's hanging like this.

And we're all gotta limb we're carrying him and the uber driver's like no I don't know what's happening but no And we're like no no he's our friend and then he's like uh-uh I gotta get I gotta deny the wrong I'm like no no he's alive okay He's not dead That's so funny And he like I had to talk to him for a minute and he finally agreed to let him in so

I put him in like the middle of the back seat. Parker, for reference, Cash wasn't that big at this point. It's like you trying to put Cash in the car. Oh yeah, I was small. I was like 16. And this kid was, this kid, not like huge, but he's a little thing. What's his name? Probably 200 pounds. I can't say. I'll say. Ripper. No. You don't know him. No, don't. We'll tell you after. Yeah, we can't say. But it's not nobody. We can't.

I'll show you who you put him in the uber. No, no, no sure after okay, she might know kinda I might know I will know no she won't know either way I put him in it I put him in the middle seat of the back uber It's just like a normal little car and I'm on one side of my friends on the other and I forgot it was either my friend Michael or my friend Parker that were with us I forgot and we put him in the middle seat and he's just on leaning on me like this like

He's gone. And I'm like, this, I've never, I didn't know it was actually possible for someone to physically, like, I'm talking a coma. Like, you cannot wake him up no matter what you do. You could throw him in a pool. You could punch him. You could do anything. He's gone. And he's not with us anymore. You're like, you can go to check if he's still breathing. You're like, yeah. And I was like, and he's just leaning on me the whole ride. And I'm like, ugh. And then I got thrown in my front. He was like, ugh.

And then when he'd get tired, he'd throw them back to me. And we'd pull up to the hotel, and me and my buddy and his other two best friends come out. The dead guy's best friends. And we have to pull through a hotel like this. Everybody's just looking at us like...

I think it's funnier that y'all are literally children like 16 year olds doing this like it wasn't like y'all were like mid 20s like y'all were like actually it's like sweet life of Zack and Cody like you're just pulling the guy through the lobby but the guy they're like the guy that was unconscious he was probably like 20 oh he was yeah he was older he was like probably 3 years 3 or 4 years older than me

But yeah, I saved his life. I don't know if he ever texted me. Thank you or anything, but you're welcome. He probably didn't know it was you. He probably thought he made it home. An unsung hero. I'm going to text him actually. Yeah. I'm going to text him and be like, Hey,

So I did save your life. Did you know I saved your life? I'm just curious. I'll invoice you. This is an invoice. These books are one of the most uncomfortable chairs I've sat on yet. Well, you should just get off of them. Oh, no. No. Please be careful with them. If it helps, Kate, it's hurting me more than it's hurting you. No, it's not, though. That's the thing. Physically, I mean. Can you maybe just get off my books now? You made your joke. You sat on my books. Ha ha, so funny. You caught one of my books on fire, and I'll just stop sitting on them. Now put that through your arms.

Can you please put it through your arms? That's so bad for my books. And my butt. Trust me, my butt is getting some knowledge right now. I'm just going to inspect my books after, and if they're messed up, I'm going to buy new ones. What? It didn't hurt the words. Actions don't hurt your words. What? I don't know what that means.

Actions hurt more than words. Just try to put it through your armpit. I will stand by that until the day I die. Actions do not hurt. Wait. Words do not hurt more than actions. Yeah. Actions hurt way more. I even got hit by a car that hurts more. No. I could say whatever I wanted to Harper right now to try to hurt her feelings. You could say a lot of things and hurt her feelings. But if I threw this at Harper, I promise you this is going to hurt more.

Don't do it. Actually, please do it. Yeah, what happened to the neighborhood? Was there an earthquake? Our neighborhood...

Is uh cruel prince is under What god's wrath wait what because uh Did you know that our neighborhood was built on a hill? Yeah, so you know how all those houses keep getting struck by lightning. Yeah You remember how I told you that you remember how I told you this a long time ago Yeah, but okay, but that's not the end of the story. No, okay So, you know how that one caught on fire

No. What? Yeah. Wait, what? Yeah, so you remember, you know, me and you and Alex and Kate were all here sleeping? And we woke up and said, God, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't kill me! And we were sleeping like a month ago and we heard, kaboom! And we were like, the whole house woke up and we were like, oh my gosh.

Yeah, so it turns out three doors down, their house caught on fire. Wow. The fire department showed up and everything. And their house, like they can't live in it for like six months now. Because like it burnt, like it burnt, burnt.

It's like gone? No, it's not gone, but like it burned from the inside out. Like the one guy? Because the wires from the electrical, it caught the electrical on fire, so it burned like inside. The house just engulfed? It was in. No, outside looks fine. Inside, toast. What? Yeah. Outside the house, they cooked it from the inside, like a microwave. That's not what Charlotte told me. Huh? That's not what Charlotte told me. Charlotte's our elderly neighbor. Oh, Charlotte. What did Charlotte tell you?

Charlotte knows all the juice in the neighborhood. Charlotte does know all the juice in the neighborhood. What did Charlotte say? Charlotte said that it wasn't the flames, it was the water damage from the firemen putting the fire out. Charlotte...

- Oh. - Knows nothing. - Well, so there was a fire. - Yeah, there was a fire. - It sounds like a pretty bad fire. - My house got struck by lightning before. - Listen, guys, Texas is like super flat. Like it's super flat. From our house though, we live like 20 miles away from Dallas. We're on the only hill. Like I'm not a mountain. Like a hill like this, like it goes.

Like, it's not a little hill. But everything else is so flat. 20 miles away, we can see Dallas. We can see Fort Worth. The skyline at night. We can see everything. We can see everything. As far as you can see. But anyways, the crazy part about this is how the house freaking caught on fire. But because we're on that hill, lightning. Yes. And we were like, after the house literally caught on fire, we were like, what? And we get on the neighborhood page. Apparently, this neighborhood, which was only built like seven or eight years ago,

Three houses have caught on fire from lightning in this neighborhood. I can't find that one photo of my house being struck. Okay, so... Okay. Hey, guys, there's only about 100 houses in this neighborhood. So you're telling me I should put that back in? I should probably put that thing back in?

I was like, how have three houses been struck in our 100 house neighborhood? Yeah, we got to put those smoke alarms back up. We got to install sprinkler systems. Yeah, so our house is definitely catching on fire. We're like at the peak of the point, too. Yeah, we're like the highest part. And I was like, we're lucky it hit the lower people and not us. But... There's a couple houses over. We literally are. It's like two houses over. The lighting just went away.

We would be on fire right now. And the craziest part is, is all of us woke up. I woke up. Kate woke up. Maverick woke up. Alex woke up. We all woke up to this kaboom, which clearly shook the whole house, man. Like, it clearly couldn't hit our house. I was like, wow, it sounds like it was literally right outside our house. Here's how loud it was. All of our car alarms went off. Yeah, all the car alarms were like, woo, woo, woo.

Like 3:00 a.m. And I'm just looking out my window like this is not good Really stupid of us what none of us said to see if our house was on fire. Well, no, no, no We all just went back to bed. Wow that lighting could have literally sure to our house you're telling me I was

after lightning strikes your house, you're going to go outside and check. I mean, no. Three houses down, they were burning. I'm not going out to look until I die. What? Until I get struck. One time, lightning struck my house once. It just struck us. They didn't know. I go outside. Be standing in the water. No. You know, our grandpa got struck by lightning.

Twice? What? Yes. My mom's baseball friend. Odds of being struck by lightning twice. The odds of being struck by lightning twice in one day are extremely low. What do you mean one day? I would be so mad if I got struck by lightning and that same day I got struck by lightning again.

But why is that even an option twice in one day? Like, what? It says the odds are 1 in 13,000, which is a lot less than I thought it would be. That's not a high. You're telling me 13,000 people, one of them can't hit twice in one day? There's no way this is possible. There's no way. I hope I don't ever get struck by lightning, because I really don't want to, like...

Sorry, hi. Let's see. What are you sending me, Alex? Okay, well, I'm waiting. I don't see nothing. Okay. If I get shot by this. What is lighting twice, dude? That would be so bad. Should I screen record? Okay. Okay. Wait, heartbreak. Yeah. This man got shot by lighting twice. No way. On video. Oh, he's down. No. He's down. No, this poor man. How long does he stay? He got to get up.

Get up. Dude, imagine what he's thinking. Well, he's probably out. Strike him again. Come on. Oh, he's getting up. Don't move. Just stay there. There's no way. There's no way it hits him again. If it hits him again, he's just like. He's screwed. He's just to go. He's just. Wait, the video's long. We're almost there. Are we? Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Come on. No. Is he getting back up? Yeah, he's going to his car. He's like covering his head. No! Did it get him again? Yeah. I looked away right when it got him again. Dude, how does you get struck by lightning twice in like 60 seconds? Not twice in one day, twice in 60 seconds. He's covering his head like, please don't hit me.

I mean, you're not supposed to get up if you get struck by an elephant. Dude, no one- if that wasn't caught on camera, no one would believe him. I got struck, okay? And then, like, 30 seconds later, I'm like, "Yo, I got- and he struck me again!" I mean, he would show the battle scars. Everyone would be like, "Okay, dude." Okay.

Imagine back in the old days and they just got no shot No one's you know you know my house the house I grew up and got struck by lightning And then you know what also happened my house did too. No it didn't yeah, I did no I have a video and the tree next to our house also got struck by lightning twice What?

And then the other tree... Are you just throwing twice out there? No, no, no. It got struck by lightning twice, and then the other tree got struck by lightning as well. So you're telling me your house, your tree twice, your other tree, and your grandpa twice. And these trees are with him. And these trees are with him. Yeah, I just wouldn't go to that house, honestly. That's probably not a good idea in a storm. Yeah, if you don't want to get struck by lightning, do not show up to our house. But, dude, that terrifies me, knowing that my house...

Can get struck by lightning or did get struck by lightning. No. And it could just be on fire and I would just go back to sleep. Like your house is on fire. Your smoke alarms will go off. Well, if you were awake, you would have to jump out the window. The smoke alarms will go off. Maybe not Mavericks because Maverick Unplugged is, but ours would go off.

Wait guys, what would happen if like we like what if we had to jump out of the window? Oh me, I'd be fine. I'd be chilling. I used to plan that when I was a kid how I would do it. Yeah, me too. How I wouldn't how I didn't want to open my window. You know, you can like slide your window up and open it. I would like mentally prepare like I'm gonna grab that chair and smash my window so I can get out. Oh, I still do that low-key sometimes a bit. You know Maverick what?

When we were growing up, we had a bedroom. And then when we got older, we wanted separate bedrooms. So my parents built a wall, like an actual wall in between our bedrooms. Wait, what did I do? No, not you. So then we only had one window in our bedroom. But when we built the wall, I got the window. And Maverick had no window. So Maverick had a bedroom with no window. So he looked like a ghost. So, yeah, there was no... Yeah, basically within a closet. Ha ha ha!

And they built a sliding door in between our rooms so he would have a fire escape. Aww. But you had two doors anyway. You had three doors in your bedroom. Yeah, but the fire was over there. He had three doors and no window. Listen, our house, constructively, okay, wasn't the most thought out, I guess. Okay, we're not telling you anything until you tell me something. Oh my gosh. You know exactly how I found out. Did you take it off and look at it? No. No.

Then how would I know exactly how you found out? No, she cheated in a way nobody had before. Sounds like we don't know. Yes, y'all do. How? Y'all know good and well who told me. Alex told you? Harper? No. Why would I tell her? Harper what? What? Why would I tell Kate that she's a professional crop duster? I would not do that. I would not do that. Trust me. Tape her mouth. Tape her mouth.

She has been silenced. - Why did you steal it? - I wish that was me. - This is insane. - Okay, Matt, what other house do we have? - Oh, who wants a hat? - Me! - Okay. - No, no, no, me first, me first. - Okay, I'll let you put this one on cash. - Ooh, it's green. - What's it say? Wait. - All right, I gotta switch hats, guys. I'm gonna miss this one. - You know what's bad is that his hat is not a lie.

It's not. It's actually the truth. Really? It's the truth and nothing but. Nothing but the truth. All these hats are true, by the way. Oh, my gosh. All of these hats are true. What does it say? Facts. You have to guess without cheating. Yes, brother. It's a fact. Does it say...

- Tuesday. - Wait, is it actually? Give me some hints. - What does that mean? - Tuesday, Tuesday. - I'm looking that up. - No, let her look it up. How's she gonna look it up? Tuesday? - Yeah, you're not gonna find it. - Guys, we should put tape on one of their legs, or one of our legs, and like rip it off. - Okay. - Except for I'm professionally-- - Hey, wait, wait, wait. Can I put it on your leg? - No, 'cause that one was already warm. - Okay. - Wait, what does it mean? - Harper, you ready for your hat? - Yes. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Give me hints about mine. - Oh, hints about your hat?

It's green. I already know that. Okay. The words are in red. No. Okay. I need hints like what it says. It's an activity you do. Yep. You do this activity. How often? What do you do in the summer? How often? I do it in the summer? Yeah. Yeah. You do it in the summer. Only in the summer? Yeah. Pretty much. Occasionally, if it's cold out and you have one, then you'll do it.

What the? Yep. Yep. If you have access to... I mean, but that's not really this, but it's kind of this. Is it an activity? Yep. You make it an activity. Let's play 21 questions about my hat. Okay. Okay. Okay. So I'm about to keep track of the 21 questions. Okay. Okay. Ready? Alex is keeping track. Oh, it's an activity. Okay. So does it involve running? No. It could. No, it does not. Okay. Don't confuse him. Does it involve...

Listen, you're the only person I know that does this. Does it involve my body? Yes. Really? Does it involve... I don't really even know what I meant by that. Does it involve my arms? No. Does it involve the top half of my body?

Does it involve the bottom half of my body? Yes. Oh. Why did you waste one of your questions? Does it involve... If it didn't involve the top half, it obviously involves the bottom half. You're right. I didn't have to ask the bottom half because that means obviously it's the bottom half. How many questions yet? Five. Okay. He's chilling. Is it something many people do? No, just you. No. I mean, it's... If they do... We're going to say no. No. If you ask people, they'll say no. Oh, okay. Okay.

Is it something like, is it like, wait, why only me? What? That doesn't make any, okay. Is it something, uh, I mean, some weird, why only you and your friends would do it? Oh, after they do mature people not do it. No, definitely not. Do mature people do kids do it? Yes. Oh, hip down. Kids do it in the summer. What the, uh,

Does it involve a summer activity? Yes. Okay. How many questions do you have? Seven. Nine. Okay, it's got to be hot out to do it. We're only playing to 11, so you got to hurry. What the? Yeah, two questions. To 11 questions. What? You can't tell me that at eight. Sorry. Does it involve water? Not eight. Does it involve water? Yes. Yes.

Is it peeing in pools? Let's go! I ain't touching that hand. I wouldn't touch that. I ain't touching that hand. You're probably peeing in the pool with it and then swimming around. Nope, nope, nope. You're probably like... What was that noise, Harper? He's probably like... That's Harper, sir. Give Harper her hat. He probably makes that

Rub on. How did you go from amateur to professional crop duster? Wait, wait, wait.

What was the what was the journey like what was the journey like going from beginner to professional Your first time what made you think this is for me? I told Alex today I we were walking through Olive Garden, and I was like dude. I just cropped us in this whole place. That's I know I felt bad. I was walking by people's tables, and I was like oh no that's crazy. All right. Let's go

Oh, that actually- Oh, no, that doesn't feel good. I thought it wasn't gonna stick. - Not pull it off yourself. - No, Harper, you gotta pull it off. - Okay, it's- No, Harper, you pull it off. - Okay. - Nice and- Ow! - Pull the other side off. - Do not go so slow! - Look at my hair! - Oh! - Aw, your babies. - My hair is all over this thing! - It's gonna take you forever to regrow that. - Oh, that one didn't really hurt. - What? - Oh, I thought it would. - Try again!

- Okay, guys, I'm gonna see if I can show this to you. - Ew. - Ew. - Ew. - Gross. - Gross. - Do you want the back of his leg? That's where it sticks. For some odd reason. - Well, I've lost hair today. Harper lost hair today. - Yeah. - I shaved this morning. - Who else is gonna lose hair today?

I went to the dentist today. I'm not joking. I went to the dentist today. Oh, that's the worst, man. That's the one thing that actually scares me. You know, I have to sleep with latex gloves on me, both my hands, because I have warts and I have to put special... Wait, what? I sleep with latex gloves. What does this have to do with the dentist? Well, let me finish my story and maybe if you don't interrupt me, you'll find out. Who texted you? A girl? I like that you automatically think it's a girl. It probably is. It's a dude. Kate just farted. I...

It stings. Okay. I will fart. Anyways, I have to sleep with latex gloves on me because I have to put cream on my hands and then I got to put them in the gloves. You said what? To sleep at night. Yeah. Doctor's orders. And then the latex, the latex, like it smells like I'm at the dentist. So I have to sleep like I'm, I feel like I'm at the dentist. What does that mean? You sleep like this? I do actually because of my underbite. I'm like, put like cotton balls in your mouth. You're like...

Oh, that's my least favorite thing about the dentist. Oh, cotton balls. Oh, it makes me want to throw up and gag. Same, same. Like other people don't like the tools in their mouth. I don't really care about that. But the cotton balls give me such a weird feeling. Do you get cotton balls in your mouth every time you go?

Well, they just have them there. You can put them in your mouth if you want. I think of it like elf when you... I can't think of cotton balls in my mouth. Or when, like, a towel squeaks. No, it's the... For me... What? When a towel squeaks when you go to the shower and it hurts your fingers and you, like, squeak it. What on earth are you talking about? Wait, do you guys, like, want to hear it? What are you talking about? It's, like, the towel rack, like, when it's... No, no, no. It's, like, it's, like... Oh, I hate, I hate, like... I know what she's talking about, but I don't get it from her. Like...

Why are you rubbing your towel together? No, but like, you know, like, like for me, the biggest, the big, what's it called? Like the chills. Yeah. Like the biggest chill for me is Sharpie on a paper. If you like skip it, like what? Oh, that gives me the shivers. I can see you getting shivers right now. I am. Maverick has some bad sugar addiction.

Okay, what are you doing? What? I was fixing my- It ain't no sugar addiction. Girl, you got a sugar cookie! No. You got a sugar cookie. I don't got no sugar cookie addiction or sugar addiction. Do you have sugar cookies? No more than you do. No, no. Look at- Oh, hold on. I gotta send this. Looky, looky, I've got a cookie. Look at how bad of a sugar addiction Matt has. Wait, I haven't seen this. We're at Olive Garden today. He grabs a sugar packet.

and just eats it. - That's what I lowkey do with sweet love. - That's what I'm saying. - Straight shot. - Thank you. - Wait, why? - It's a good thing we got that insulin. - I got insulin, thank you. - Why did you do that? - The cookie slices. - Huh? - Why did you do that? - Why did I do that? How about you look at this man as we walk out of Olive Garden robbing the entire bowl. He took every piece of chocolate. - Yeah, I know.

All the chocolate. Chocolate. All the chocolate. As you walk out, they have like this big see-through cup. And I took the cup and did pour the whole thing in my hand. And I set it down and there was like one left. And I went to go grab the last one. Because you need that one. And the manager walked up. But he didn't see all the other ones in my other hand. And I went to go grab the other one. And he goes, trick or treat. And I was like, yeah, just take them all. Come on.

I asked some of your fans on Instagram what they want us to ask you. For some reason, one of the top ones was, are you and Brie really married? Are we really married? Yes. No, it's actually been a ruse this whole time to get more views. No, actually, six years coming up, May 12th.

- Oh wow. - Pretty exciting. - That's incredible. - Yeah dude. - Oh, you wanna know something crazy? - Math could never. - My realtor was at your wedding. - No. - What? - Which one? - Chris. He was like, "Yeah, I know another YouTuber that lives around here." I was like, "Oh, what's his name?"

And then he finds it and I was like, oh, no way. But I guess he knew your wife's friend or something. I don't know. Wait, that's so cool. His name's Chris... Swan? I don't know. So probably on Bree's side then, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's sick. I had no idea. That was crazy. So crazy. Small world. It is. Yeah. Apparently we also found out that Preston used to live in our hometown. I did. What? Which is like 4,000 people. Henrietta? I did. Henrietta. Henrietta? I still don't know if he's... I'm not capping. That was our reaction. It's not capped. What's...

What's a question that we could ask him about it? Wait, how old were you when you lived there? I was like, oh man, 14, 14, 15. Okay. So like, cause I moved to, we moved to Indianola, which this place was so small in Oklahoma. I think the population was 150. They had a gas station and they had a K through 12 school.

That's how small it was. - I mean, that sounds-- - Oh, wow. - Right? Like, it was 35 to 45 minutes to go to McAllister and people went on dates at the Walmart. That's how small this house was. - Oh, there you go. - It sounds like it's from Henrietta. - All right. - It was tiny. It was so small. And then we went back to Texas for a year and then had to go back to Oklahoma. - Did you go to Dallas when you came here? - No, we came back to Fort Worth. - Okay, but it's still a big city. - We were pretty much always deserted. - Oh, yeah. - To go back to Henrietta, like, that's rough. - That's crazy. - It was brutal, dude. - Yeah, it was so brutal. - Wait, did you go to school there?

I was homeschooled my whole life. Oh, most of my life anyways. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, so y'all probably all lived there at the same time. Yeah, but we were all homeschooled. Wait, wait, how old are you now? I'm old, dude. I'm almost 30. So...

How, like, what you would have been when you lived there? 15 years ago. You're kind of getting some great years. I know, dude. I got a bunch. Bro on the side. Bro on the front. I got a bunch, dude. Is it crazy? No, I probably lived there. So if it was 15 years ago, we're looking at what? What are we in? 2024? So probably like 2009. 2009. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. We all lived in Henrietta at the same time. At the same time. Here's some more questions that your fan asked. They really wanted to know a lot about you. They wanted to know how you guys met.

Oh, Bri and I? Yeah. Oh, it was a blind date. No way. On YouTube? Yeah. What? On YouTube? No! No! Like a YouTube blind date, like, I'm going to be rating these girls from their outfits. You know, like those... Is that how they all find love now? Yeah, like Jubilee. What is happening? Are you a Jeezy? Yeah, very. Are you? I'm Jin A.

- You're not even Gen Z, you don't even know you're Gen. - Gen alpha? - How old are you? - Oh, 14. - When were you born? - 14. - Oh, she might be Gen alpha. - March 20th, 2009. - That's scary. - Oh, wow. - You guys really met on a blind date? - Yeah, so like Bri was a ER nurse, she worked at UT Southwestern.

So she was there for a while. I went there when I broke my toe. Did you really? Yeah. I went there and got my tonsil sliced out too, dog. Wow. Pretty nice. But my aunt was also a nurse there and they got along really well. And then Brie was dating somebody and then apparently vented about it to my aunt. And I was like, oh, you should go on a date with my nephew. And so Brie had no idea what YouTube was or even that you could like have it as like a real career job. And so anyways, set us up on like a blind date. But I was like in Japan and I was just like, ah, okay.

I don't know. I'm thinking about becoming a male nun. This last relationship didn't work out. I just want to dial in on my work. I feel that. Yeah, that's what I wanted to do. And then my mom somehow got a picture from my aunt and was like, she looks so sweet. She bakes cookies. Could be your wife. And I was like, yeah, sure. Sure. But then we went to coffee and then we were there for like eight hours. Oh my gosh. Yeah, like 10 minutes. I was like, all right, politics, religion, sex.

- Oh, you did an interview. - Oh yeah, I did. - I was like, "Don't waste your time." - He was like, "Mm-hmm, mm-hmm." - Look, I'm a patient man, dude. I've been working since I was like 12 and I was like, "I got time." - Yeah. - You know? And I don't know if I want to give it to this person. So you gotta ask like those hard questions. - Yeah. Luckily we've already been through a lot of those hard questions. - Yeah. - So now it's like, we just want to see if we have fun when we're not like with everyone. - Well, there you go. I mean, that's an important one too. So how long did you guys date?

About like three months. Oh, wow. Yeah, pretty good. There you go. We got all the hard stuff out on that first date. You know, my mom called the cops and thought something bad happened to me. After the first date, he was like, all right, you want to call the cops? All right. Will you marry me? That's it. Then I was like, cool, I just want to meet the parents. Back up. You said her mom called the cops? My mom called the cops. I never dated. My mom was like, she thought I was dead.

Wait, wait, wait. She called the cops. What do you mean? Because I didn't respond to my phone because we were like eight hours at the coffee shop. Oh, on a date. That's crazy. That's crazy. So like literally they thought like something was wrong with me or something like that. Yeah. And my friends called me and I was just like, you guys, I just went on a date. Yeah.

I'm okay. Wait, did the cops show up? Just an eight-hour date. No, no. They kept calling, like, run my license plate number. Bro. Has there been any wrecks? And I was like, no, guys. After this, can you ride down the stairs on that? I mean, maybe. It's a circle staircase, so probably not. Probably not.

so is that does she still work at uts southwestern no no so brianna always had this really big passion for musical theater she's a phenomenal um phenomenal singer great actress as well and then so once we got married i was like like if you want to you know keep pursuing your nurse practitioner degree or you know try this youtube thing out and so she was like in my content for like six months just kind of like helping support and just being like extra talent and just you know doing content that you couldn't normally do if you don't

have a spouse. Yeah. Which was really fun. And then we just made her a channel and I made another channel. That's awesome. And then she really popped off and now, you know, now I'm the gold digger. Yeah, I used to actually watch y'all. I used to watch y'all all the time. Oh, really? Yeah, I did. And then when she started gaming, I remember her little like, what, did she have a pink green screen kind of?

- Yeah, she did. - Yeah, I used to watch that. - Yay, that's so cool, I had no idea. - Yeah, this is so much fun. - Yeah, so that's pretty much the entire story, like quick, but top to bottom. - So do you like shooting YouTube videos better or gaming videos? - Oh, you're talking like real life versus gaming?

Yeah, yeah. Dude, honestly, it's such a fun mixture because right now at the company, we output so much content, lots of volume. Yeah, yeah. So I have three gaming channels and then, well, actually four gaming channels and then one real life channel, but I'm also talent and other channels that are either gaming or real life. Plus socials is its own beast entirely. Right, yeah, yeah. So I like both to be

completely honest. The IRL ones really get to put you in like this really big challenge mindset, depending on what you're doing. Most of the time they're like very difficult grueling, like something to push you past your comfort zone. And then gaming is just so fun. Cause it's something I'm so familiar with. Yeah. So it's hard to answer. I couldn't pick one or the other. I like having both because of that balance.

So you said you have four channels, what all do you game? Like what channels? So you've got like Press and Plays, which obviously is Minecraft, and then you've got Press and Games, which is like a variety of games. A lot of it's like horror and Roblox, popular trendy games and variety. Then you've got TBNR Frags, like the OG channel. This was like 2009 when I started this channel. Oh gosh. This one's all first person shooters. Wait, when did YouTube come out? Uh, 2009. You said 2009. Oh. Yeah, and that's when she was born. Oh my gosh!

I've been making YouTube videos longer than you were born. That's crazy. I'm the old man of YouTube. There ain't a lot of us. There's not a lot of us anymore. Oh, I'm Mr. Beast. He has not been making YouTube videos though. Yeah. No, Mr. Beast is crazy. He's the king of YouTube. Yeah, I know. He's great. He's great. So if you had to play one game for the rest of your life, one game. You get one.

One game for the rest of your life entirely. I'd probably say Dota. I love Dota. Really? Yeah, it depends on the ancients. I would not have guessed that. It's like a MOBA. It's really, really fun. What about Mario Kart? I need to get on some games, guys. No, they're great. They're great. I would choose that or I'd choose like an FPS like Valorant. What about Mario Kart? All I play is Apex. Do you play Apex? Apex is good. Yeah, I was at the... Well, we went out there before it was released to the public to like play it and promote it. It's really fun. He's the perfect man to ask. All right.

we had a big argument me Mav and Alex at dinner which game is harder to be professional at Fortnite or no sorry it was Apex or Call of Duty Apex or Call of Duty I mean both of them are pretty similar in their own respects to be completely honest I would say Apex would be a little bit easier

All the reason, all the reason. Matt was right. It just depends though. Like you're talking about like a war zone professional or like the typical quality professional plays like search and destroy. Yeah. Probably which one? Like search and destroy. I think you'd have to do war zone cause you're doing. Yeah. Be closer by the way. So yeah. War zone or apex. Yeah. I'd still say that apex is, it has less of a learning curve. Yeah. A little bit less of a learning curve. Yeah. I don't even know what like A and X are on the controller. I,

I know. Gang Beasts is so hard. You gotta play mouse and keyboard, guys. Wait, what do you play? I don't have a controller at my house. No, so what do you play like Gang Beasts on? My friend and Alpharetta. I play Gang Beasts on hers. No, you use like a PS5, an Xbox. It's a phone. Xbox.

Oh. Yeah, Xbox, yeah. So do you play games like in your free time for fun? Or are you just kind of like... Oh, no, I still play games in my free time. Oh, yeah. Like anime. It's either like anime, like Bible video games or like really good like indie card games. Yeah. Indie card games? What is that? Like here to slay? It's basically like video game card games almost.

- Oh, okay. - Where it's like, okay, like you draw this deck and like if you get six different types of heroes, you can win or if you slay these three monsters, you can win. - Oh, okay. Like D&D? - No, not D&D. Like these games are quick, like five, 10 minutes. - Oh, okay. - Do you have an Oculus? - Yes, we have. Well, no, we have a Meta Quest. - Oh, cool. Yeah. Wait, what games do you play on there? - None. - None? - None right now. - Really? I like to play Rec Room. - Oh, Rec Room is fun. - Yeah, Rec Room. Yeah, I like Rec Room. - Yeah, I played those. - Yeah, I like Rec Room 'cause I like meet new people

And then, like, and they're actually real people, not just bots. And also, it scares me sometimes, though. Metacost is great. We just did a huge partnership with them for the Metacost 3. They're awesome. I just haven't had time to, like, set it up and play it. No, yeah, it's really fun. And, um, what's it called? I love playing dodgeball and paintball. And, um, and my mom, she, I walk in, like, I walk into the living room and I just see her. Mom's playing VR? No, I walk into, no, yeah. I walk into the,

- You gotta watch out, I've seen those TikToks. - She's playing Beat Saber, yeah. She's playing Beat Saber and I'm like, "Mom, make me lunch please." And she's over here making, playing Beat Saber. - Your mom's a servant. - No! - Harper, have you ever made lunch for your mom? - Yes. - What, like on Mother's Day? - Was it good? - No. - Are you lying? - No, yeah. - Are you lying though? - No, no, Mom, I made you lunch, am I right? Like, yeah, yeah, huh? - Mom said no. Harper makes her lunch. - Takes her up like Chick-fil-A doesn't count, Harper.

Like, when you're sick. When you're sick. I gave you, like, some stuff, like a sandwich. You gave her a cookie.

You don't watch any anime, Harper? No, no, no. Dog, why not? Anime? You have to ask them what anime is. You don't know what anime is? Ask him specifically. Dude, I know what anime is. They don't like it. He tried saying like Spongebob is anime. Dog. And we were like, dog. No, no. Anime is just cartoon. That's animation. That's crazy, dude. But anime is different than animation. How is Spongebob different from Pokemon?

It's vastly different. Besides, like, obviously the storyline and, like, the things, but it's like saying, like, a horror movie and a comedy. Like, they're both movies. Like... Oh, man. This is crazy. Man, you gotta get educated, my guy. Okay, so what's anime? Like, name, like, the most popular anime show. Preston's gonna walk off, dog. No, what do you mean? I mean, the most popular anime is obviously One Piece. Like, of all time. I've heard Naruto and, uh... I've heard of it. Fireball. Oh, gee. Fireball? Pikachu. Fireball Z? Dragon Ball?

Dragon Ball Z? Oh, Dragon Ball Z. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. This guy is so offensive right now. This is crazy. The comments are going to go crazy. If you want to have your mind blown and get lost in these such unique worlds and parallels, when you're ready to grow up, you'll watch anime. That's pretty much how it is. Do you read anime books? Manga.

Whoa! That's what that is? I don't know what that is. Manga? Oh, that's what it's called? Yeah, it's called manga. I thought that was like a specific anime book. This is crazy. It really is a whole new world. Is that why you go to Japan? Well, I mean, the culture's cool, too. I feel like you

- I feel like you go to Japan a lot, no? 'Cause you said you went to Japan. - I've gone twice, yeah. We just got back like a few weeks ago. No, the culture's just super cool. I mean, obviously it's super safe and public transport's so cool. There's so much to do. I mean, you'll never get tired of doing things. - Wait, do y'all know Danji Bros? - Yes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I really like watching them. - Danji Bros are really cool too. - Yeah, I love watching Danji Bros. - Yeah, but seriously, you actually need to like unlock both of you. Like if you want to really like unlock your creativity, you have to watch some anime. - Anime. - And Rhianna made fun of me for years and then now she watches it alone.

- Yeah. - So that's how good it is, okay? You gotta like start with something great. - I'll stick with like "Victorious" and "iCarly," you know? - You can rot your brain if you want or you can upgrade. - Hey! - All right? Or you can upgrade to anime. - Why are you mind blown, Kate? - Because I go to the bookstore and I always see manga is what I thought it was and I'm like, "What the freak is manga?" - It's manga!

Yeah, manga is like the, they have like manga, light novels, and so they obviously, these are like the illustrators and the creators, and then often they get adapted into anime. That's crazy. Which is really cool. So like, I finished Jujutsu Kaisen last night. So it's like a manga. Jujutsu? Yeah. Jujutsu Kaisen. It's a show. It's an anime. But like, it's like only on season two, or you can pick up where the anime ends, and then read the manga, and then continue to, you know, read about the story before it's animated. Oh.

That's awesome. Because they release chapters usually like every single week. Yeah. Dude, I tried. I tried to get into anime. You got the wrong ones. Shut up, bro. You were obsessed with it. What do you mean? I watched Hunter x Hunter. Hunter x Hunter is great. And I liked it. That's not a great starting anime, though. I think every guy watches anime. I liked it a little bit. I tried like- Are you watching also in dub or are you watching it in subbed? I'm watching the English version. Yeah, that's trash.

Because everybody sounds like this. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. It's me, Killua. Do you speak Japanese? I don't speak it, no. I mean, I can get around with some basic phrases, but no. Yeah, you got to watch because the inflection and the emotion in the original. Wait, so you watch it in the other language? Yeah, of course. The other language being Japanese. But you can't understand it? No, there's subtitles. There's subtitles.

But then why wouldn't you just watch it in English? Because it's not the same, man. Because it's like lip-syncing. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No. It's like lip-syncing and the emotion isn't there. Okay? It's pretty bad. Actually, I'm telling you, bro. I will say. I'll show you two clips. When I watch shows like Squid Games in English, it drives me crazy that their lips are off and everything. That drives me up the wall.

See, if you think like Squid Games, which is a creative show, like animes are like 50 times more creative because you have no limitations with animation. And if you want to get into something easy, like Studio Ghibli is like the Disney version of anime. And they've got a lot of fantastic shows that you can watch, like Howl's Moving Castle. There's so many good ones, but I promise you'll get in there. If you had to pick one of us to land a plane, who are you picking?

- Wait, say it one more time? - He doesn't know us, dog. - Yeah, but just off natural instinct. - All right, perfect. - If you had to pick one of us to land a plane, who you picking out of us four? - Oh, wow. All right, Harper, you're out. - I'm gonna do elimination style. We like to build a little tension for a thing that we call retention. Yeah, sorry, Harper, you're gone. I mean, then we either, do we go with the stereotype here? I mean, like, hey, what kind of dexterity level are we talking with here?

He's not going off looks. Kate would flip out. Well, when you were like talking about the side of the plane, just talking about it, I mean, my hand's sweaty. How long have you had your license for? I'm 19, so... So three years, maybe? Yeah, three years. Okay, okay.

All right, I'm going to say Kate's out as well. Yeah. All right. Now it's a 50-50 at this moment in time. No matter what, I'm top two. So, go with that. Top two? Ooh, there's some big one, dude. Yeah, I've already made it. Yeah, I'm going to say Cash is eliminated. What? Yeah! I got you on that. I got you on that. Let's go. That's what we said last time, too.

- He has a crush. - Believe in me that believes in you, homie. - No, yeah, I could definitely trust Mav more than Cash, 'cause I feel like Cash should make it a game and he would do bearer roles and stuff. - Let's see how far to the ground we can get before I actually have to stop the plane. - Yeah, yeah. - That at least means I'm co-pilot if I'm singing. - Whatever. - At least I'm not in the back of the plane.

You guys are going to have to be praying. That's the safest place to be, apparently. You don't want to be at the front of the plane. Oh, yeah, the safest place is back. Not with me driving. What did you say? You don't want to be at the front with me driving. No, but I think you could save yourself if you didn't really care about the people in the back. You could land it like this.

but then you go like ka-dunk my god it's blowing up for sure i don't i never understand how planes blow up so easy when they crash what do you like wouldn't it just like like how does it jet turbines my guys yeah it was in there all the gas everything friction yeah but i've watched busters and okay bro you know what you're talking about yeah you know they did a thing where they put up a car with gas

And like it doesn't explode as much versus if there's just a little bit of gas in there. So I feel like the jet plane would have a lot of gas. So it wouldn't explode that much. Possibly. Maybe, but I mean, did it burn? Jet fuel is also a different beast than regular gasoline. Yeah. That is true. You know, were you talking about our friend that died in a plane crash? I mentioned it. Yeah. One of them actually survived the plane crash. Really? Yeah. I wonder if they were in the back of the plane or the front of the plane. Probably back. He was Marine and he got out.

And then he went back in and got a girl. They were flying to like, it was like a Christian conference actually called, I think it was acquire the fire. Oh yeah. I've heard of that one. Yeah. It's a little older. I don't think they have it anymore. Um, but he, they were flying there to like go speak. And he, the plane crashed. He gets out, goes back in to get like the daughter of somebody gets her out. But then he, he passes away. Cause he went back in. Really? He was like all on fire. He shouldn't have, but he got her out and she survived. What's the, what's the cause of the crash?

There was like a heater that wasn't supposed to be turned on and the girl got cold and she didn't know and she's in the back of the plane and turned on the heater. Oh, bro. She's the cause that she survived? Seriously? That's what they said, but... Dang, dude. I don't know if they really know...

Yeah, I don't know how you figure that out after the plane's been engulfed in flames. The same thing with people house fires. The place is burned to the ground and the fire department's like caused from a wire. I'm like, how do you know that? Do we really know that? It's forensics. It's ashes. Was that an airliner?

No, no, no. It was like a little six-passenger plane. Like a... Yeah, probably like a Cessna. That's scary. Yeah, it was a small one. For sure. Yeah, the small planes always go down. Like, not the commercial ones. I know. I like small planes. Oh, I got small planes. Like, when you went skydiving, was it like... How big of a plane was it? It was a small plane. Was there seats in it? Uh, no. Yeah. Small planes. Dude, the one that you get on top of is like... There's two seats. It's the pilot and then it's you. Oh, no. No. Yeah, dude. Come on. Like a Top Gun plane? Live a little.

No, that's a fighter. I'd rather die doing something cool. Hey, you know, sometimes I wake up in the morning and I'm disappointed I didn't die. What? Yeah. I'm like, go to lunch and I didn't choke on my food and die. I'm ready to go. I'm going to choose cash. Yeah.

No, does he get it? He's like, sometimes my time is my time. Decision remorse. They said, with you being a creator, how many planes have you been on in your entire life? Yeah. I don't know, maybe like 100? Maybe like, I mean, I travel a lot. I bet more than 100. Mom, how many?

- How many have I been? - Think about it, you have a layover. One, two, then you gotta come back. Three, four. - I didn't start traveling until I really got into YouTube though. So like 16, 17. But before then, I didn't take any plane rides. Yeah, maybe like 200. - Did you travel by yourself when you were like 16 or 17? - Yeah.

Yeah. Wait, how did your parents react to you doing YouTube? Like, were they like cool with it? Especially because it wasn't a thing in your time. No. Back in my day. As Kate said, I'm old now. No, yeah. They definitely were supportive because they're both entrepreneurs as well. Yeah. So they were all about it. But they were like, yeah, you got to also like find a job or go to school like one of the others. So you got to do both at the same time. Yeah. So I was like, all right, I got to figure out how to make money on this quick because I would way rather do this than go to med school. Yeah.

So it was that or med school. So you didn't go to school? No, I didn't because I graduated early. I was 16 when I graduated high school. And then when did your career take off?

It was probably when I was about 17 and a half, like I was able to make enough. Oh, so you were right there. Yeah, it was quick. Yeah, it was quick. So I was just like trying to hustle as fast as I could. And then also like make sure I really enjoyed what I love to do. My mom and dad were super supportive. They were just like, yeah, go file job applications, figure out how to make some other money on the side, or you can go to community college at the same time. So I very quickly figured out how to make some money.

Yeah. Yeah, I feel like that's most people's story. I was working with my dad when I was like 15. I was like, man, I don't like this. And then I saw like a MagCon and all them and I was like, wow, that's so cool. And so that's what motivated me to do it so I didn't have to get a job. Yeah. Do you have a traditional job? In the beginning, huh? Oh, man. Never had like a traditional job? No, no, no. It was like

hanging like gutter and insulation. It was like a construction job. - Well, that's a good traditional job. - Yeah. - Yeah, I did like painter's prep assistant, house cleaner, lawn mowing, life guarding. - Yeah, our parents owned a lot of real estate. So it was like fixing up apartments, stuff like that. - Oh nice, yeah. So you always had something, you had a little gig. - Yeah. - Well, he always had a good gig. You know, he would, I had to follow him around and be his assistant for the whole day. Every time, we'd be like on a, we'd be painting a house.

they would be like scraping the old paint off the house. Matt gets to, of course, scrape the paint. I get to go through and pick up his paint chips. That was what my job was. Pick up his paint chips. Did you ever have like that defining moment though for like your career? Yeah. So when we were on a job once,

I'm on a ladder and he takes a screw gun. No, no, no. You stick it on my pants. That's not what he's talking about. What? He's not. A defining moment. Like, you know, like for my social media career. Oh, yeah. I thought you were talking about a Mac. He's like, that was the day I was done. Okay. Well, I'll answer that second. He's sick to screw gun on my pants.

And he freaking pulled the trigger and it just like ripped all of my pants. So funny. And I had to duct tape my pants up the rest of the day. So funny. That's when he knew he was done. That was my last day. That was a defining moment on my career. Put him on notice. But yes, your actual question, the defining moment on this career. Yeah, I was doing live streaming. I mean, that's like how it was when I started. Were you on Twitch? No, musically.

- Musically? - Oh, I know Musically. - Yeah, yeah. It was Musically. And Maverick was still working. I quit because of the screw gun incident. And he was still working and then I was like finally was like making enough to like quit the job I was doing with my dad. And so I quit that and then I was doing stuff on Musically. And then Maverick was like, "I wanna do it too." So then he quits. And I was doing it two years. And in two years, I got 20,000 followers on Musically.

And I was like, this is going to take forever to get a million. I added up. It was going to be like hundreds of years. I was like, well, I was going to be like 900 years old. Like a million. Well, this isn't going to work. Matt comes home. He starts the week. He starts social media on musically. He gets like featured on there, which is like, you get put on like the for you page or recommended and,

and he gains like 100,000 in his first two weeks, and I was like, I was low-key salty because I've been doing it two years. I was like, and then I made a different account, and then, yeah, it blew up together, but that was insane. Oh, it's really cool. Yep. He couldn't do it without me, essentially. That's the moral of the story is Mav-

-Mav gave me my beer. -What if we're dames? -Hey, come on. This is good, man. You need that competitiveness. -Yeah. No, we were hyper-competitive at first. Now, we just do everything together. -Yeah. -But you still need that rivalry a little bit, you know? -Oh, yeah. You saw us in the gym today, man. We-- You ever do one of those things where it's like this and you gotta, like, drop the weight? -Are you talking about, like, forearms? -Yeah. It's like a little bar and you do this. -It has a rope on it and a weight. -And the weight goes down on the rope and then you-- -Oh, yes. Yes. -Yeah.

Man, we went hard on that today. The competition was insane. The gym owner was sitting there. He was like, you guys, you guys are brothers. He's like, y'all definitely brothers. Were you all at LA Fitness? No, we're at a local gym. Oh my gosh. You know, and Anna and Elsa are frozen when that guy tries to dance with Anna on Coronation Day and his hair flops over. That's what I feel like right now. Like,

That's oddly specific. Like one specific scene. You know the blonde guy? It's like, hello, I am Queen Farquaad. What? You would be Queen Farquaad. That is true. Hey, Farquaad had a queen. Maybe you. Doesn't Queen Farquaad walk like this? King. It's King Farquaad. No, that's Edna. Edna? Cash walks like Edna. I have a pretty good Edna walk. Let's see here.

Do it, do it, do it! Okay. It's a party trick. Here we go. Y'all ready? Here's my eggnog walk. I'm ready. This is how you walk like Eggna from The Incredibles. Eggna. Eggnog. Now it's hard. Sometimes I don't get it right. Let's see. Wait, I actually- Yeah, you like that! Ready? You wanna see it again? Okay. Wait, please! During Halloween-

Leave the front door open. Hide in the kitchen. And when little kids come up, walk front door like that. Be like, oh, no, run. They'll be so scared. You have to be Edna on Halloween. And I'll be Vector. Vector? I'll be Vector. Yeah, we can do the impersonation about the moon. Wait, is it Vector or Victor? Vector. Are you kidding me? That's a group. Vector!

Except Gru wants to steal the moon. Yeah, Gru wants to steal the moon. No, it's Vector. Oh my gosh, have you ever seen The Spickle Me? Yeah, they both want to steal the moon. Gru's whole thing is, I'm going to steal the moon! Yeah, but Vector steals the moon. He's the orange guy. He's the one who does steal the moon, doesn't he? Yeah, he does steal the moon. He shrinks the moon and he steals it. Oh, they both wanted to steal it, huh? Yeah, and Vector succeeded. Because they want to be the better villain. It's true, that happened. Hey, did you guys know, I saw a TikTok of drinking one sugared beverage a day

Wait, hold on. You saw this on TikTok? Yeah. Oh, it must be right. No, yes, it was. It was on the STEM, the STEM part. Oh, really? The STEM side. Yeah. So you're still in our team. Do you watch STEM, the STEM videos? Who watches STEM, you weirdo? Sometimes. Why are you on the STEM side of TikTok? I saw it there and I felt bad for it because I never clicked on it. For those of you who don't know, there's a side of TikTok called Science Technology Engineering in...

Mathematics? Oh, that's what it stands for? Yeah. I had no clue what STEM stood for. That's what STEM fields are. But I clicked STEM, and it's like the educational channel. And apparently, drinking one sugared beverage a day ups your chances of getting diabetes by 29%.

I just don't believe it. And if you drink two sugared beverages a day, it was almost 50% of your chances. What's wrong with me getting diabetes? We actually all came to the conclusion yesterday at lunch that we're all going to go get tested for diabetes. Could you imagine that? Imagine all four of us. Imagine all four of us go get tested for diabetes. And then the doctor walks in the room and they're like, one of you has it. And it is not...

Kate. And then they just narrow it down. That'd be the most intense thing in my life. Especially for Maverick. Because Maverick is addicted to sugar. Did y'all know diabetes? I was like, but is it really that bad? Because I've heard a bunch of people, like my uncles and stuff, a lot of them have diabetes. Yeah, I think it is pretty bad. But then Kate informed me that diabetes could lead to your foot loss.

You can just lose your foot? Your foot could just fall off one day. Walk away by itself. Not specifically your foot. I'm sure you could lose either foot or a hand or something. I don't know the logistics of it. Oh, heck no. I don't know the logistics of it. But your uncle with diabetes told me that. Oh, really? Yeah. Is that why he's trying to sell his foot? Yeah, my uncle...

My uncle also always asks me, do you want a knuckle sandwich? So I don't know. No, that's probably why he's trying to sell his foot. My uncle is like, I, he says, he's like, so seriously, if, if I can find someone that'll pay me $5 million for my left foot. $5 million. Like,

No, no, no. He said, if somebody will pay me $5 million for my left foot, I will give it to them. And he said, I will also sell my right foot for $2.5 million because he doesn't like that foot. I guess it causes him. He has ankle issues there. And he legitimately says if somebody offers him $2.5 million, he will get rid of his right foot. That's insane. Like, Biden could easily do that. Biden? I think a lot of people. Why Biden? Or Mr. Beast. I don't know.

Mr. Beast would buy him a new phone. Buying people's body parts. Like what? No, that's crazy. Would you have two body parts?

point five million or your output. Oh my gosh. Okay. I was like, I, cause you know, sometimes your uncle says things that y'all are like, well, well, it came from uncle, uncle. So do you really want to believe that? Go ahead. Say his name is uncle Garrett. No, I never doubt anything you say. It isn't until I come home to these boys and tell them what you said that I start doubting. Cause I'm like, well, wait, wait. So what happened?

Anyways, he told me that there was someone in y'all's family or someone he knew that had diabetes and like lost his foot to it. And it was like a really bad, just like. Oh, peg leg. I know peg leg. Really? Yeah, peg leg.

obviously not anyways it says um no but we do have a great uncle that lost his eye but i'll say that after this go ahead okay well diabetes can cause limb loss particularly in the lower extremities because there's a thing called diabetic foot syndrome and it says 60 to 70 percent of minor or major amputations are from diabetes oh my gosh i love my feet this is gonna be a problem that's crazy

I feel bad. But no, my uncle. Man, Kinsey's going to be so mad if I show up on the wedding day with one less foot. Would you sell your foot for 2.5 mil? Yeah. Oh, no, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I think I'd sell my foot for like 10.

10 million? I think 9 million. I'd be like, I think I'll keep my foot. 10 million, put that thing in an investment, like a CD, cash out your 5% every year. Well, how much are you going to have to pay to get a prosthetic and stuff? I mean, you don't even need a prosthetic. You got your ankle. Oh, that's right. A foot? Yeah, I can live without a foot. You're right. A foot's not that serious. No, it is because for cheer, like...

- Yeah, you wouldn't be able to do cheer really. But like, you can still walk around. - I bet I could dance great. I'd spin like a top. - You could get like, yeah dude, if you didn't have your ankle broke, your dancing would be next level. You could literally make it pointy and just spin really fast for hours. - What? That's not right. - That's crazy. - What do you mean? I mean, I think that'd be great. But yeah, our uncle. - Spin like a top. - Our other uncle. - Are you, go ahead. - Oh, our great uncle, he got in a fight

And glass went through his eye. And he lost his eyeball. He was also stabbed like 10 times. Yeah, he was also stabbed like 10 times during the fight. Lost his eyeball. Oh, and he won. Yeah, he won the fight. That's the crazy part. It was a bad fight. You should really see the other guy. And yeah, now he just has a glass eyeball. And he'll just like pop it out. Wait, is he still alive? And then he'll be like, can you keep an eye on this? Kind of crazy. Is he still alive? I want to meet him if he is. I think so. I think he's still alive. It's my grandpa's brother. Why have I never met him?

It's my grandpa's brother. He doesn't come around too much. Does he live in Oklahoma? What I jacked? He's always around. What are you talking about? I'm not sitting on a freaking cake. You're gonna sit on the cake. Sit down. Sit your booty on the cake. Sit down. That's your chair today. What? Well, you just need it a little bit extra if you know what we're saying. What?

I said sit down. Okay, I'm coming, all right. What did you say, Kate? I said you just needed a little bit extra, so we're helping you out today. Extra what? Cake. Yeah, a little extra cake. Y'all think I need extra cake? Yeah. Yeah, 100%. Extra than this? Yeah. So that just proved our point even more. We thought that hard chair might hurt your butt, so we got you some more cake. Y'all trying to make me back heavy? Sit down. Who's calling me? Yeller.

There's no way you got a phone call. There's no way you're taking that right now. Who is it? Who is it? It is Sophia. Oh, Sophia who? They can't hear it. We can't hear it. Hang on. Yeah, we can't hear it. Bye, don't call me again. What the? I don't know who it is. It's always fans. That's one way to tell your fans. Well, that's not a fan. That's a stalker if they're calling her. Okay. All right, I'm going to sit down. Sit down. Shut up. That's terrible. Okay, we're waiting. Okay.

Okay. I'm going to tell the kids. Sit down. Okay. Hey, turn around and sit so we can see it better. You weirdo. Sit. What a weirdo. I'm just giving the people what they want. Sit down. Harper? Yep. I can't. It's in your mind. It is. It is. She got me there. She hasn't said anything. It really is. Okay. Sit down.

Shut up or I'm gonna set you down face first on the cake! My mom's calling me now. No, no, no, don't pick up, don't pick up. Mom, I'm filming. Oh my gosh. Okay, here we go. I didn't say anything, it's in your mind. Say it one more time, please, say it one more time. She hasn't said anything. I'm not saying anything, I'm scared. I didn't say anything. Alright, we had to, go ahead, Mal, tell them what you did.

I said a joke that Cash didn't think was funny. Not Cash. Everyone. Yeah, it wasn't very funny. Everyone laughed.

I didn't. You did laugh. You laughed. Nobody laughed. He was definitely laughing, and you were laughing. Maverick said a highly inappropriate joke. What? Highly inappropriate. You guys can't hear. Yeah. So, I said a man's name. That's all I did. No. I said one man's name. No. Who is this? Y'all are just arguing to argue, so sit on the cake, please. We'll move on. Okay, sit down. Dad, sit down. Sit down, Dad. Dad.

Everyone is so annoying today. In case y'all missed the episode before this, they destroyed my books.

And I burned it on fire, and I apologize. In case y'all are wondering, it might look like we're all friends right now, but nobody likes each other. I don't understand. Is there tension? No. We're getting along great. Yeah, because they're the ones that we had to cut the episode over. Yeah. We said funny jokes. Multiple times. Exactly. And he said, beep, and...

Yeah, I bleeped it for you. Yeah. So, let's just keep going. I think everyone can guess what I said. You know what? I'm not sitting on the cake. Sit on the cake. I quite honestly don't care what you do. Uh-oh. No. That took everything in me not to say my joke again. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Don't you touch the cake. Kate, help her. I do. I don't. You showed no mercy when you put my book on fire last episode. It's too late to say sorry, Harper. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Cash, you can't.

Cash, you can't. Now I'm having a lot of fun. Oh, I feel so bad. I should have stopped it. What do you mean? You said that and watched it the whole time. I know. You enjoyed it. I shouldn't have. I was mad at Harper for something she did last episode, but that's just how it is. You were mad at Harper, so you just let it happen? And now I feel bad. Harper, I'm sorry. Hey, you can eat it, though.

Alexis was supposed to go edit and he came and leave. Okay. If it helps Harper, I'll sit on the cake now. Sit down. Okay, I'll sit down. What? Are you eating? Why can you stop eating the cake like that to weird me out? She acted like she didn't want to get the cake on her face. She's like, what? She acted like,

- Harper. - She acted like she didn't want the cake on her face and now she's like, "No." - Is it good? - Oh my gosh. - He didn't sit on it yet. - Okay, I'll sit on it. - Sit down. - Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. I'm getting the angle that no one else is getting. - Slide the shorts up, slide the shorts up. - It's already on your shorts just so you know. You just got icing on your shorts. - What are you doing? Oh. Did I just drop the cake? - Why did it drop in slow motion?

Why did it drop in slow motion? Oh no. Harper! Harper! No! Harper! Harper! Listen, it's already on my butt. It's on my chair. It's on my floor where my feet are. It's about to get so messy, Kate. I'm not cleaning it. I'm going to get food after this. I'm leaving. Okay, listen. I'll sit down. I'm not cleaning it.

Get away from the cake. Don't give up. No, no, get away from the cake. Get away from the cake, little girl. All right. I'm sitting on the cake. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Okay, I'm sitting on it. It don't feel great. This is so weird. Did you see the way the cake fell off the stool? Yeah. It was so pathetic looking. Do you guys ever snort things you shouldn't? Yeah, on occasion. What did you snort? You know what I accidentally snorted the other day? Chicken Alfredo. And it's possible in case you're wondering. How did you snort it? I was just eating.

No, you were doing more. What were you doing to snort the chicken Alfredo? Like, were you eating it? Was your face in the bowl? What the? Were you like, let me see if I can get some noodles twisted around my tongue so you put your face in the bowl? Is that what you did? You guys never snort food on accident? What the? No. Not this way. Like, it comes through this way. Oh, yeah, that's not snorting. Like, you know how when you like, uh, you eat and drink? Yes, you do. You can get water, like, come through your nose. Water has never came through my nose. What?

Waters came through your nose. You can probably do it right now if you tried. Yeah. How? Should we all try? You know what's crazy, actually? When I was about 14, 15... Oh, you're going to try it? I don't recommend doing it with my bowl. How do you do it? How do you do it? How do you do it?

How do you make water go through your nose? Does anybody know? I thought about it, but it didn't work. I accidentally do it all the time, but I don't know how to purposely do it. You want to know a crazy story that's actually true? In 2020 when COVID hit, a man texted me. This is so true. It's so bad. Do you know what I'm going to say? His name is Harry. Shout out, Harry. Harry's the OG. Harry. OG. If you're out there, Harry, you are an OG. Harry, text me. And he's like, I got toilet paper. I'm like...

Okay, cool. That's awesome, man. This is like pre... It's like things are about to go down. Yeah, I was like, I mean, cool. And then he's like, you want some? I'm like...

I guess. He drives. Harry drives from Orange County all the way to my house two hours away. Oh, my gosh. To bring us toilet paper. Why would he do that? Because he's a nice guy. Out of the kindness of his heart, being so genuine, he drove two hours just to bring us toilet paper. Somehow this man contacted every influencer in L.A.

And is bringing them all toilet paper. Like every influencer is opening their door like, Harry! It's for the toilet paper. Wait, actually? Yes. He was giving like every influencer toilet paper. Don't know how he got his money. I don't know how he even got your number. I don't know. Have you met him before this? I met the man, but I know he was bringing me toilet paper. Have you met, you hadn't met him before this? Maybe I did. I don't know. He's like, like the kind of person you like meet at Walmart. And then you just, now you forever know Harry.

Harry, you're the OG though. Thanks for the toilet paper. I put it to good use. Wait, what are you going to tell us? I am Harry. No, you're not. No, Harry's complete. Just not you. Yeah. I am Harry. I came back as him. You've been reincarnated? She said on something today, guys. Hey, let's vote. Most likely to succeed. Me. Me.

Just watch me be an actor. Wait, Kate was actually low-key humble there. I thought you just said you don't want to be an actor. Watch me be a singer when I grow up like Olivia Rodrigo. Kate was the only one that didn't raise her hand. You don't think you'll be successful? Either A, you're humble or B, you don't believe in yourself. Which one is it? I quite honestly use catch. I've already made it.

I got a husband. Hey. You know what? I've already made it. And all I need is for him to be successful. No, no, no. Why stop at one? Get two. Get three. I already made it. Guys, I'm going to say like a really bratty line. I already made it. I'm famous and rich. Harper? No, you're not. Stop. I'm kidding. I'm just joking. You think you're famous? No. I'm not. Okay.

- Mm-hmm. - Guys, my face is covered in sugar. - Don't change the subject. Do you think you're famous? - Do you think you're famous, Harper? - No, what? - 'Cause you're not! - No, I'm kidding. - Can we have drummer auditions to decide who gets to be the drummer of the band? - All right, fine. Everybody gets a 15 second drumming audition. Harper, you go first. - Oh, Cash, I know a song you'd like to do. - We should've done "Forget Me 2." - Hold on, we need drum solos. - I want you to forget me. - Okay, forget me. - All right, go. You get 15 seconds. Okay.

- Cut! - Yeah, you're cut. Kate, next up. - I'm cut? Seriously? - Yeah. - Seriously? You got it, Kate. - All right, Kate, let's see it. - Stop hitting it that hard! Why would you hit it that hard? - Kate, that was really good. - No, no, no, keep my drum set. She's trying to kick my drum set. Get off the set! Oh, Matt, do you have your pick? - I'm no good. - I guess Cash won. - It's hard to taunt me, I know.

Come on, go. If I said that, your drum set will not be in one piece. Oh, what the shigma? What are you guys doing here? I want to hear you play super soft. Super soft and nice. Yes. I went to... You took us... Mr. That's you. What'd you say? Drum set? No. No.

Why was he a good

What the cash? You drummed a little too hard. Why was that honestly good, though? Don't hype him up. One time, we booked a show and nobody showed, so we had to cancel it. We have. No, no, no, no. We had to perform for thousands of people and for two. Yeah, and then one time, our very first show ever was 1,000 people. We sold it out. It was great, fantastic. Four years later, we had a show. I'm not even capping. Y'all are going to think we're actually trolling. I'm not capping.

There was times no one showed up. There was times. No problem. We were like giving free tickets out to people at the mall and people wouldn't show up for shows. We gave out free tickets and our smallest audience was probably like five people. It was bad. Less than that. It was bad. There was like two people. There was. Yeah, there was. And we had to let the tour, like the people that were on tour go to the audience. Yeah, yeah. Like our merch lady. We were like, get out there and be in the audience.

It was bad. It was so embarrassing. That was, you know, that was one of the lowest points of my life. But we got our bag. But we had a drummer named Ty and every show. Me, Cash, and Ty had a great time. And every show, guys, I'm not even kidding, right before we'd go out, this was like,

Like we did our big tour where we sold out and everything and then we got paid to buy on to a tour So pretty much they were gonna promote the tour Yeah, we were just like hired on to perform and our only job was to show up and perform like we weren't promoting it Nothing really so we should Yeah, and we showed up there's like two to ten people a show in venues that are supposed to hold like 800 people and

And it's just a big empty room. Yeah. So imagine Walmart. There was like six people. Imagine you're inside Walmart with no shelves and two people standing in the middle. And that's who you're performing to. And we're on stage with me and Matt. And every show me and Matt were like, oh no, how are we going to perform in front of four people? And every show our drummer Ty was like, we got this guys. We're going to give those four people

The best time of their lives! Oh my gosh. We had steam can- like we had smoke shows, light shows, like we had stuff blowing up, like it was great. And there was- do y'all remember the last show though? The last show there was an audience because- Yeah there was like 200 people there or so. Because there was someone that had been on that tour that people actually wanted to see. But that was the only show they were on. Hey real quick, everybody try this. Take a stick. No, this is so- What?

Give me that what now? What would you like to say? I just think what we're about to do is probably like we were having a good conversation And you just interrupted it to do this okay? Well, I would just want to see you guys take the stick, then you do a half flip Oh, wait. Sorry you gotta do a half flip a full flip a flip and a half and then two flips Let me get one shot a flip one foot. Oh now flip it a half

Perfect. Oh, no, that was two flips. That was two flips. Wait, let me do my flip and a half. No, the whole point is you get one. Well, I did my two flips, and let me get my flip and a half. Slay. Okay, there you go, but it's supposed to be. Okay, you try, and you try. Okay. Ready? Three, two, one. Half flip. Wow. Okay, full flip. Okay, Harper's out. No, I'm not. Oh, no, she's out. Oh, Mav. Barely got it. I got it. Okay, Harper's out. Mav. Okay, now Mav, two flips. One, two.

- Oh, you failed. - One, two. - Ow, I can do it first tee. - You haven't, we watched you fail like three times. - Well, that was when I was demoing. Look, I can do it first tee, ready? Half flip, full flip, flip it a half, two flips. - Woo! - Yeah, you failed like four times. - Just like that, baby. - Well, congratulations. - Look, I got more tricks. You like this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Congratulations. - Oh, check out this. Ooh, check out that.

You're not cool. I feel like I am. Wait, no, keep telling them how not cool he is. Yeah, you're not cool. You're not cool. You're not cool. Nobody's going to show up to our live show. You're not tall. What? No, I mean, people are going to show up to our live show only because of me and Kate and Maverick. Hey, thanks for the inclusion. All right, guys, I know what will make this podcast 100 times better. Nobody's going because of you. What are you doing? Oh, my. Cash. Cash.

- What the heck? Why would you do that? - All right. How are you already back so soon? - Why did you throw her like that? - Yo, I was actually concerned for her health. - I was too. - You threw her right on like those power bricks. She's fine, look at her, she's smiling, she's laughing, she wants to do it again. - I thought I'd been through the drum set.

- Why are we touching my couch? - Don't throw her like that again. - I'm not okay, I hurt really bad. - Kay, stop acting like I hit her. What are you? - You just threw her. I would argue that throwing her is worse than hitting her. - Seriously, are you okay? - Oh, shut up, shut up. Stop acting like. - Guys, I get thrown on the floor almost every day.

I'm fine. I think she needs to go to the ER. What do you mean you get thrown on the floor almost every day? Because of my cheerleading. What if she would have fallen and broken her ankle or something? Yeah, she's fine. I threw her from here to there. It was not that serious. What if she landed and broke her ankle? Now what do we tell her mom? What if I started crying? No. No. Oh, no. Kate bites it too much. Kate, your hair looks actually really good, though. Oh, it looks great. It does. Wait, your hair does look, like, majestic.

She'd be looking majestic. Girl, what are you used to blow out your hair? What was that? I'm hurt. No, you're not hurt. Guys, let's sing like a... I threw you from there to there. No, let's sing like a Disney pop star. All right, well, it is time for gifts. Oh, boy. I got gifts. Boya, boya. Mad, are you going to start? I got you something. What did you get me? What did you get? Come on, I'm ready for my gift. I told y'all we were going to be doing gifts on the podcast. I told y'all. I remember.

I don't think that brought his gift. I told you everyone was gonna forget my birthday. Did you bring your gift? Oh, yeah. Yes, I did. No, no, no, no. My gift. My gift's right there. No, this is my gift. He's trying to claim my gift. No, that's my gift. That's my gift back there. What's in the gift? My gift? I'm not gonna ruin the gift. Why would I ruin it? Okay, well, I'm happy with one gift. All right, we'll start with my gift. It's a two-part gift.

The first part is we have party hats. Don't ruin the box. I don't like when people rip boxes open like they're freaking an animal. Like an ape? He's doing it. He's ruining the box. This cake tastes so bad. I don't know why I keep eating it. I know. It's not the same. All right. Everybody put their party hat on. Give me a party hat. Matt, put your party hat on. Oh, boy. Put your party hat on. Okay. Everybody. All right.

Matt take off your cowboy hat for the party hat what Matt Matt is so self-conscious about his hat bro his hair What you are so self-conscious he won't take off his hair cuz he got a bad good Okay, whatever. All right, okay. Here's my gift. Okay. I would like to point out guys I brought the cake the party had in the gifts. You guys didn't bring nothing. No, I brought a gift I brought myself and isn't that all that matters? Yeah, what came out? What's your gift?

- Whatever I leave of this cake, first of all. - What is this? - I don't know how to wear a party hat. - All right, here is my gift. - Just wear it like this. - Just put it on? - Mm-hmm. It kinda chokes you. - Kate, what are you doing?

Oh. Just put the party hat on. You guys ever see a dog like pushing their face against the glass? Mav, you look so funny. I do? Yeah, okay. You look so not funny. You look very good, sweetheart. Alright. You look good. Here's my gift. I would like to say... I look like a bald eagle.

Okay, guys, I'm gonna talk about my gift now. Okay, a lot of thought went into my gift. Before we get to your gift. Oh, man Oh, did you know that these hats were actually used to shame children growing up? What? Yeah, they were called hats of shame. No, they were punishments. They would wear cone hats So why do we wear them as a birthday hat? I don't know but I know cone hats were um, like gnome hats. What? Yeah Okay, well, uh my gift is

Before we get to your gift, why are you on your guys? You're just on your phone. I don't you know what fine. No, I just needed a picture of Eric. You look so funny Okay, I'm paying attention. All right My gift as I was saying a lot of thought went into this. It's your gift or her gift It's my gift to her. I did not just go buy this gift from Walmart. Okay, you cannot buy this gift Well actually for the right price you can

but none have been sold yet. Okay, well. But if people would like to start purchasing them, there might be a link in the description. This seems pretty sentimental. Why don't you hold your wife's hands while you tell her? Look her in the eyes. I thought this gift through a lot. Get on your knee, actually. I'm not doing that. Yeah, please get on one knee. I thought this gift through a lot, and I think you will really enjoy this birthday gift.

And I don't know if you guys remember, but on a podcast episode a while back, I got her a fake puppy for her fake birthday gift. A fake? It was a real puppy? No, I got her a real puppy. Remember the puppy? Yeah. And I said, but then it was like a joke. I was like, it's actually my friend's puppy. And I told her, don't worry because your actual birthday gift I have for you is- You're not looking her in the eyes. I told her the actual birthday gift I have for you is 10 times better than a puppy. So here it is. Whoa, honey, I want to look at you while I open it. Just open it.

There you go. Can you still hold my hand? Okay. Well, no, because you got to have, you got to open it with your hands. So you're going to watch me while I open it? Okay, yeah. I'll watch you. You, but, all right, here we go. Here's my gift. Happy birthday. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to. How many is it? There's a lot. Sorry. A spring zero. Hmm.

She likes bright zero spot zero. That's not that's that's that's the side gift. This is the side gift Okay, that's look at the big gift look at the big gift. I got a jar What open it and smell it in a can and that away when you have a worst enemy? You can just open it in their bedroom Is it that does I just know bad okay? Does that smell bad?

That's that no one knows she opened it in front of everyone. Yeah, she did open up in front of everybody No, no, it's just really good he's immune to his farts my favorite part of what cash and Kate do on each other's birthdays is They hold each other's hands and they look each other in the eyes and they tell each other words of affirmation He always takes her hands and he's like

I love you. This last year. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So go ahead. Do your thing. Do your thing. I've never done that. Yes, he does. He's lying. Do it on the pod. Come on. Do it on the podcast. Do what? Get on your knee. Hold her hand. I'm not getting on my knees. Why are you holding me on my knees? Get on your knee. Get on your knees. Hold your hand.

Say the words of affirmation. Do the thing. Why would I tell her words of affirmation after she just, I just got her a secret weapon and she used it on me in about 0.2 seconds. Because it's her birthday. Yeah. It's her birthday. Just do it. And y'all have no clue how hard. Don't ruin your tradition. You've done it for so long. Y'all have no clue how hard it was to get that fart in a can.

Okay, I just want you to imagine. Picture right now what you think about me trying to get a fart in a can. Okay, I had to go through that. I had to go through that to get that and you just opened it like that. And I'm happy I did. You don't know how hard that was. I had to help him.

Because it's what you normally do you get on your knee want me and then you see I'm not proposing No, but it's like a little memory thing you do it every year. I've seen you do it lots of time Okay, you hold it get on your knees. I'm not getting on my knee get on your knee. Okay. Let me just tell you something That's not happening. Yeah get on your knee and do it. Oh Looks like my goodness

I will get on my freaking kneecap. Yes. This is so romantic. Kneecap. You're drinking my birthday gift that you got me? Okay, well. Chug it without burping. He already failed. I can't believe he burped. I've never seen him burp. Yeah, I've never seen him burp. Oh, I can burp. Check this out. He's drinking my birthday gift. Okay, that was. You just drank her birthday gift. So my birthday gift. Is it spicy?

Oh my goodness. What? Happy birthday to me. Okay, okay. Do the thing. Get on your knees. What did you say? Do it again? No, I did not. My birthday gift is disappearing right before my eyes. How did you not drink that in like two drinks? There's none in there anymore. You're joking. My birthday gift is completely gone now. Wait, it's coming. Oh. Yeah. That's... And he... Okay, that's enough. That's all. Okay, okay. Now do the thing. Now get on your knees. The thing where you tell her how much you love her the past year.

I feel like Lord Farquaad. Why am I doing this? You got it! Okay. I can't see. Hey, can you keep going please? I was looking forward to this. Yeah, continue your thing. Come on, say the words. I'm over here. Listen to the sound of my voice. Turn your head. Turn your head. Here, Cass. That cake tasted disgusting too. Oh my goodness. Any more napkins?

that's not a napkin that is not a napkin do your thing you're gonna make your wife sad oh looks like a gender reveal on your face it is i just want to open my eyes dude i can see the icing stuffed up his nose right now oh that's disgusting oh oh my gosh

I want to see you say sweet things to your wife. Yeah, honestly very rude that you're okay. You guys want sweet things Is that what you guys want you guys want sweet things? Yeah, okay. All right. Yeah, y'all gonna get some sweet things Here comes some berry Sweet things. Oh, no, no, please don't oh, oh, no, please don't whatever you're about to do, don't

Oh no! Cashie's a little girl! Let her go! Oh man. Oh no. This is about to get so messy. I hate these things. It's about to get so messy. It's fine. Not on me. These are new pants. I want it on her face. It's just on her hands. Yeah. Tastes pretty good. Are you eating it? You got a little bit over here. Here, eat it all fine.

Can't do that. I can't yeah, I can't that's so I can't Please Matt just lick it off my hand. I can't do that. I can't no I can't do it. She can do it. I can't do it Okay, it looks like it could be a hat now hold that oh

- We were getting cake all over the carpet. - Oh yeah, he's just rubbing it into the carpet. How about you just spin Harper? - What? - How about we just spin Harper? - Oh yeah, that'd be way, oh wow, that was, this is way more efficient than my plan. - Go lower, there you go. - Oh yeah. Oh, this is working great. Oh, I am stepping in so much cake. - Wow, it's almost like I just said that. - Wow, look at that cake. That is a lot of cake right there. That is so much cake. - Keep going, Harper, keep going. - It's like I almost just said that you were stepping in cake. - Keep going. - That is a lot of cake right there, Cash.

Cas, you have a lot of cake right there. Keep going, Harper. Okay, go lower. Make sure her legs are covered. Oh my gosh, look at my sock, guys. Wow, so much cake. There's a hole in it. So much cake, his cake is on the floor. That is crazy. That is horrid. While he's standing. All right, now, come here. Don't just drop her now. I know you want to.

Oh, I can't believe you fell for this one, Harper. - Oh no, Harper. - I can't believe you fell for this one. Now come out of your cocoon. We wanna see your face. I actually can't get to her. She's so buried in there. Gosh darn it. All right, fine, I won't do it. Oh, I have no seat. My seat's gone. - Look, I'm on my knees like all y'all wanted. - No, guys, you can sit on that thing. What's left of it. - Oh man, I'll just sit on this. That'd be great. It'd be a great freaking seat. Here we go.

It's a great scene, I'll sit on it the rest of the episode. It's fantastic! Okay, it hurts! So there's seven levels on this thing. I'm gonna test them out starting with level one. Here we go. Okay. Oh, I can see his neck moving. Okay, here we go, ready? I was on one. Ready? Here we go, here we go. Okay. Oh! That's not that bad, that's not that bad. Wait, was that two? That was level one. Here's level two. Bro had a whole twitch from level one. Ooh, okay. Level two's not bad. Aww. Here's level three.

Ooh! Level 3's got a little kick to it. I don't know why, I kinda like it. Alright, here we go. Level 4, oh, dog's going crazy. Dog's going absolutely wild. What just happened? Stella, come back to your place. Stella? Apparently. Stella, don't make us put the shot collar on you. Stell, place. Well, looks like we put the shot collar on the wrong animal.

Poor Stella. She just wants to explore. Here we go. She'll be fine, probably. I think she's fine. All right. Here's level four. Alexis, will you shut Matt's bathroom? I can't press it. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, the dog is knocking everything over behind him. The dog is here. Oh, my gosh. How did you do that, Stella? Are you okay?

Back off! Dude, Alex just got concussed by like a hundred pound light. Oh my goodness. We're like, she'll be fine. And then boom. The second we were like, she's fine. The dog cannot be behind the camera. There's honestly about a hundred wires back there. Yeah, I don't even know why we said that'd be fine. We're all so delusional. We had too much faith in you. I had zero faith that I was just going with it.

Okay, here's the level. Actually, Harper, I'll let you test the level for me. Okay, okay.

But just a tap. Yeah, just a tap. Don't hold it, please. If you hold it down, it'll pulse for 10 seconds. Okay, I won't hold it down. Don't tase me for 10 seconds. Oh, please don't, Harper. Just tap. What level is it on? It is on level... It's on level 4. Make sure it's on level 4. You ready? Oh, gosh. Oh, man. It's out of nowhere. Okay. How do I go to level 5? Okay, show her how to do level 5. You see this knob right here? You just twist it, and that's 5, and that's the arrow. Okay, I think 5 might be the max here. Do 5. Oh, oh!

Oh! Oh! Hold it down. No, no, no. Don't hold it down. Don't hold it down. Don't hold it down. No, no, no. I won't hold it down. Are you holding it down? No. Are you? Because I don't want it to touch. No, stop. Someone take it away. I don't want to let it touch my skin. No, it's not going to touch your skin. She's touching it. No, I'm not. She is. She hasn't touched anything. I saw you spam it. No, it's all in your head. Yeah, it's all in your head. It's... What level is it on? What level is it on? It's on six. Six? Yes. Six? Yes. Okay. Okay.

Alright, level six is the max I want to do. I can't go to level seven, I don't think. Alright, do level six. What's one more level? Come on. Oh, gosh! I saw it. I'm a jerk. I saw a jerk. Can I see it? No, don't give it to Matt! Don't give it to him! No, no, no. Matt, be nice to him. I'm just going to turn this baby up. Oh, gosh. Matt, please don't. Please don't. Please don't. I'm just turning it up. I'm stressing for you, Cash. Let's see. I feel so bad for dogs now. Wait, wait, wait.

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not touching. Oh my goodness. I haven't done anything. Show me the level. It's on one. It's on one. Don't hold it down. Why did he sound like a chimpanzee? Don't hold it down. Man became planet of the apes. I like you. Please don't.

Cash tells me more of it.

Please let me fix my microphone bro. Is it okay? Just let me fix my mic real quick. I've literally only been vibrating it. I've only been vibrating it. This is vibrate, right? That's shock? You have to turn the dial to vibrate. Oh, so I've been shocking it? Yes, you've been shocking me. Every single time. I've been getting shocked a lot over here actually. Aw.

That's enough of this. Are you vib- is it vibrating? Yes, it's vibrating. Please don't. Please don't. Please don't. I see why dogs obey this. Yeah. Quiet. Hey, turn it back to shock. No. Please. Oh, keep up. Kate, I think you would like this. Yeah, give it to Kate. I'd like Kate to have it. That would be useful for you. Turn it up to seven. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, we should have put that thing on tighter. What's it on? Seven. What? Which one is it? She doesn't even know how sevens work. It's got to actually be on seven. This one. Yeah. Okay. All right, Cash. It's on. See that? That's seven. I can't see it. Let me see. See? Right there. It's on seven. Why is it actually on seven? Put it on your skin. Wait, wait. Is it on seven? No. Let me look.

She's gonna actually put it... Kate, please put it on seven. You know he'll be fine. We don't know I'll be fine. Cash, you will 100% be fine. No one's been shocked on seven. Cash, it's just a shock. My grandma's done it. Oh, her grandma's done it. You said your grandma went up to three. No, her grandma went to seven. All right, Cash. She went up to seven. Press it, Kate. She went up to seven? Yeah, I wasn't gonna put it on my dog. Okay, can we move on with the episode? Please.

No, no, we'll just shock him if he's a bad boy. Okay. Did that actually hurt? Yes. Does it actually hurt? I don't know. You want me to strap this dog collar to you? He's not crying yet. It was on one. This side of my neck is getting abused out here. So me and Kate...

We're in our bedroom. Oh my gosh, everyone's gonna love this story. I can't believe I've kept this story private and I haven't told anyone. Okay, let's hear it. The whole room's gonna love this story. Oh, I'm excited. I don't think I will. No? Okay, the whole room besides someone sitting in the pink chair. Don't embarrass me. What are you gonna say? Me and Kate are in our bathroom chilling. And I hear... And I'm like, what the? And I'm outside and Kate's in the bathroom in the toilet. And I hear...

I was like, that's not a fart. Ain't nobody fart like that. And I was like, oh my gosh. Any guesses what it is? It's just Kate in the bathroom, door closed. Oh, the only thing that's in our bathroom is a toilet. There's no sink, nothing. Just a toilet and four walls. Can we stop the story? She pooped. What? Why do I gotta stop the story? I don't want to hear anymore. Any guesses on what happened? She pooped. No. She dropped her summer Fridays in the toilet. No. She dropped her cell phone in the toilet. Oh.

No. In poopy water. Was it actually poopy? Yeah. Oh, no. I don't think I've ever freaked out as much as I have in that moment. Did you stick your hand in there and get it? I don't even know how it happened, but one second my phone was in the toilet. One second it was in the toilet? Barely, because for some reason our toilet wasn't very... Our water has been really off in this toilet.

So it wasn't very full of water. So it didn't really like... It was just full of poop. No. No, it was not that bad. Can we please talk about something else? Yeah. Wait, I have a question. When... So are you that comfortable with cash to like just like when you go down and poop, just fart, like let it all out? Oh, yeah. She... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, she saves it for nighttime. Sometimes when I come down to get like a midnight snack, I'll hear from their room just machine guns going off. You guys think I bought a...

You think I fart a lot during the day. I fart a lot during the day, but I let it all out all the time. Kate holds it all up, and at night, it's like, sometimes you think it's a machine gun going off. That is not true. That is not true. Like, you know when you fart, and then it's like... No, the other thing, I was, like, minding my business, just, like, sitting in bed. Cash was, like, dead asleep. I farted, and he, like, rolls over, and he makes eye contact. Like, not a smile on his face. He goes, you're taking off like a helicopter. And it's just, I was sleeping.

And I didn't understand how he said it so seriously. Like, not a smile was cracked. I don't know how. Sometimes when I wake up in the mornings and Kate does something, I can say the funniest things and not smile at all. And I'm just like, then I go back to sleep. My favorite is whenever he's, like, asleep and I, like, look at him and he randomly, like, gets in my face and he goes, there.

And then falls back asleep. Yeah, I don't know why I do that. I don't know why I do that. Honestly, she'll be sleeping and I'll be sleeping and we both wake up and I just look over and I go, bleh. And then I go, and then I go back to sleep. And like,

Like he doesn't laugh or anything. I want to sleep with you. I want to see it. But yeah, she drops her poopy, she dropped her phone on the poopy toilet and then she gets it out and dude, it was, she literally bought a whole new phone case, which I would too. I ripped the screen protector off and I, thankfully I had a screen protector and a case on. So like, the actual phone

phone i've been trying to tell harvard that doesn't happen the whole thing's still really okay i like i literally drenched my phone marketplace two dollars i like drenched my phone in alcohol for like like literally like five times the next four days after that she'd be like can you hear my phone i was like no yeah it was really bad yeah you just don't have someone there to expose you on a podcast for millions of people do you

Harper guys like I was so thankful it wasn't a public toilet

oh public toilet because like i keep the same at that point once it's in there it's in there i have a fear if i drop my phone in the toilet i won't grab it i don't you okay see that's what i would have said before a week ago but a week ago i'd be like kate come get it no like my reflexes like kicked in i like dropped my phone and i so quickly screamed and like grabbed it without thinking and then after i was like oh my gosh and i like threw my phone on the floor it

Wow. That's cool. See, I was scared. The public toilet. I was scared because I heard, and she goes, and I was like, what happened? And she goes, I dropped my phone. And I thought, it's because she didn't say she got it. I thought she was going to ask me to get it. I was like, I'm not getting that for you. You wouldn't get the toilet.

on the other side. No, I'm not grabbing your phone out of your poopy toilet. Ain't no way I'm doing that. I would do it for you. No, you wouldn't. I'll go poop in the toilet, drop my phone there, and I'll be like, Kate, come get it. I would do it. Okay, I'll do that tonight. Touch his own feces. Yeah, that's weird. You touch his feces? I would if he asked me to because I love him that much, but I see the love is not received. Would you touch my feces? I don't think I could. Actually? I don't think I would want to touch. Actually, I don't poop. Harper, what's the most embarrassing thing you do in private?

Okay, actually, I was just trying to think of that. Really? Like you were actively thinking of that? No, because when I was like, when Kate was like, I'm sure you've done it before too. And I was like, well, I'm trying to think of secondhand embarrassment things I do behind other people's back that nobody knows about me. I'm just confused how you drop your phone on the toilet while sitting on the toilet.

I don't know how it happened. It just happened. Yeah, I could see like maybe why your pants are coming down. It like falls out of your pocket. Yeah, like you're standing up or like walking by. But like sitting down on the toilet? I don't know. I think I actually, I think I started to stand up and that's what happened. Did you drop it on the back end or the front end? It was like towards the front. I told you it wasn't that bad. It was like towards the front of the toilet. Like it like barely slid in there. So I'm imagining you standing there like this, sitting there like this and just.

Uh-oh. I don't know how it happened. It all happened so quickly. One second I had my phone, the next it was in the toilet, and the next it was back in my hand. One second she just talked about the poop emoji, next second she grabbed the poop emoji. I really feel like you were right here and you were like, oh, oh no, oh. I don't know. I wish I could remember. What is going on with your thumb? Every...

Oh yeah, his hands are... Do you want to interrupt this? No, please show them. Please. It's pretty crazy. I filmed it today. I sent it to all my friends on Snapchat. I was like, his hands. His hands are wild. Disgusting. I can't wait for you guys to see his hands. You know what? You guys aren't going to believe it, but this is actually the better side of them. I can't believe that's better. Ready? This is so intense. I don't want to see this. Two days ago, it was even worse.

Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness! Why does everybody's face look like that? It's like sickening. You look like you're deceased. You look like you've been raised from the dead. Let me see the other one. That's how I imagined Jesus' hands when he rose. Oh my gosh. Yeah, so the doctor gave me this cream that I had to put on my hand. It's supposed to destroy my skin. So it's doing its job. Let me see it again. I had a couple warts, so it's supposed to get rid of all of them. That same cream is what he told me one time. He goes...

If you really wanted to get back at your enemies, you could just put this on their face while they sleep at night. I'm just saying, it would do that to their face. What enemies do you have? Who's walking around like my enemies? Do you guys want to see my dance? Yeah. Okay, I guess give Madly the guitar. Alex, do we want to see his dance? No. Alex shook his head no very quickly. Give me that, give me that. It's a great dance. Content-wise, I think we should move on. Yeah, for content-wise, real quick, so just make it quick.

Okay. Great ball for fun. Are you ready, guys? Wait, will you be able to hear it? Will they be able to hear it? Cash's hat with Harper's hair is crazy. Wait, we got to go back. You want to go over there? Yeah. Harper hasn't seen this yet. All right, ready? Cover your eyes now. All right, ready? Yeah. You shake my door, say you rattle my brain. Two of us up, drop a man and sign. You rock my way up.

You really want all attention on you at all time listen guys if I'm being I'm freaking out in the cage, okay? Yeah, I'm freaking out. Don't tell me to sit sit. Don't tell me to sit sit sit. I'm not your dog. I'm not sitting fine I said because I want to yeah. Yeah, see I don't say anymore. Hey, how about this lay down? I'm not laying down

Okay, fine. I'll lay down. Cash. Lay down. Okay. I'm just getting sleepy. No. I'm sleepy. You're doing as you're told. I'm your boss. Good boy, Cash. Good boy.

Good boy. No, I'm just sleepy. Cash is such a good boy. I'm literally just sleepy. No. No. You like to be controlled, don't you? No. You listen to your brother very well. Yeah. Who's your daddy? I do what I want. Clearly, you don't do what you want. You listen to me very well. No, see, I'll stand up right now. See that? How you like that? Huh? How you like that? How about you lay down? Lay down. No, I'm not doing it this time. How are you laying down? No, I'm done. Lay down. I'm done. Nope, not doing it. Lay down. Nope.

Lay down. Okay, I'm getting sleepy again. That took some melatonin before this. Oh, are you going to pout? You're going to have an attitude. Yeah. Okay, Cash, what's your one truth and one lie? My one truth and one lie is I haven't brushed my teeth in three days. Or... How do you like your husband? I'm sorry. Hey, that could be a lie. That could be the lie. The background was like, well, that's the truth. Yeah, what the... Now you've got me not wanting to finish.

You might as well don't. That's the truth. I haven't brushed my teeth in three days. Or I haven't brushed my teeth in four days. To think one of those is true is really concerning. Which one is it going to be? If you didn't brush your teeth for three days, what's one more day? That's what I'm saying. I'm going to try for five tomorrow. No, I'm kidding. The actual truth and lie is I haven't brushed my teeth in three days or four years ago I kissed Charli D'Amelio.

Four years ago, you just tried. I know the answer to this one. All right, what's the lie? I'm going last. Oh, I'm saying the lie is you... I mean, I'm your wife. I know you brush your teeth every day. I see it. Oh, that's good. Yeah. That's good. I genuinely didn't think you brushed your teeth every day. Yeah, what the heck, Harper? No, I actually... Wait, so you've kissed Charli D'Amelio?

Well, we don't know. I haven't said yet. Yeah. What do you think? The truth is you kissed Charlie D'Amelio, I guess. Whatever. It's cool, I guess. Okay. Kinsey? I'm going to go with that, too. I heard you've kissed quite a few people. Whoa, whoa. It's like 34 or something. 34. 34. You've really been talking right in your mouth, huh, Tate? The whole town. Tate says sorry. Unfortunately, I do know the truth. And you did kiss Charlie D'Amelio. On the lips? Yeah, that's the truth. I was there.

No, he was not. Okay. I think it should be my turn. Lay down. One truth and one lie. My first one is Cash kissed Charli D'Amelio. No, you definitely did kiss Charli D'Amelio, though. That's insane. When? Wait, why is that insane?

That someone would kiss him? No, that Charlie D'Amelio kissed Cash. So you're basically, whenever you kiss Cash. I know, it's crazy. He went that low. It's just wild. What? What were you going to say, Harper? So basically, when you kiss Cash, you're kissing Charlie D'Amelio. Does the renegade ever rub off on you? Cash, Cash, Harper, the truth is he tried. He got rejected. I did. So I had to kiss Dixie. Okay. No, no. The truth is actually, it's a joke. What's a joke?

Which ones? What do you mean? It's a lie? I never kissed Charlie D'Amelio. And you never brush your teeth? Huh? And you never brush your teeth? Yeah, they're both a lie. That's the point of this game. I don't think you understand the game. What do you mean? It's one truth, one lie. Do you want us to think out loud? Or I can say two lies and y'all gotta guess a lie if they're both lies.

No, that wasn't an option. No, that wasn't the game. All right, guys. Welcome back to the LOL podcast. Unfortunately, things are not being LOL right now. This is serious. Cash and Kate. I mean, I don't know how else to really tell you guys this, besides they broke up. And I'll let you guys take it from there. Thanks, Matt. Thanks for the intro. I mean, like, what? Why? Why? Because there was other girls.

I don't want to make this awkward between y'all, obviously. Like, I mean, whose side are you on? First of all, there was no sides, Kate. Come on now. There was not other... A friend to all is a friend to none. There was other guys, too, huh? Oh, that's new information I did not know about. I did not know there was other guys. This is the first time I'm hearing of this. Y'all are still friends, right?

Oh, we're married now. Yeah, well, now we're married. Oh, obviously. But when it did happen. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So pretty much when me and Kate were like 14, 15, probably like 14.

We were talking on this app called House Party, which is like... Oh, yeah. You know what House Party is? Yeah. We were talking on this app called House Party, which is... Dangerous. If you guys don't know what it is... No, you know what's dangerous? How is it dangerous? It's a group FaceTime app for Samsungs and iPhones to combine because I had a Samsung and she had an iPhone. So it was a group FaceTime app. And you can also see...

Who your friends are on FaceTime with while they're on FaceTime with them. And it'll say open party or locked party. They can lock the door to the party. And an open party means you can just join randomly. Locking it means that you have to be invited. And... Which wasn't fun. It was no fun when you see all your friends in a locked party. Locked party. Let me in. Please let me in. But they're not unlocking it because they lowkey didn't want you there. And...

Me and Kate would be in a house party. And it would show you random facts. Yeah, we would be in a FaceTime. We'd just meet her and then she'd be like, alright, I gotta get off. I gotta go blah blah blah. Or was it the other way around? I gotta go walk my fish. No. Was it that way? No, it was after school. I would talk to you. So it was the other way? So you talked to him first? Yeah. Okay, so she'd be talking. I'd be like,

Let's talk or whatever, right? Then before I get on to invite her, she's in a house party with another guy and it says locked. And I was like, hmm. And I asked her about it multiple times. You can't be in a locked party with another dude. Right? Come on. That's like rules of being 14. He did not ask me to be his girlfriend yet. I was still playing the field. And I...

I was like, hey, well, you play in the field. You go girl. I was like, who's that? And you're like, oh. Don't go girl her. What? No go girl. I was single. No go girl. Listen, man. Okay, yeah, you were single? What about a liar, too? You were that. Because I asked you, and I was like, who's that? And you're like, oh, that's just one of my, like, that's just my friend. That's like my best friend. He was just my friend. Yeah, yeah. I mean, when guys are like, oh, he's just like my girl best friend. And then one day, I get on the house party app.

And the party is with her and the guy. And it's unlocked. They forgot to lock the party. So I joined the party. I joined the party. And you know, Kate's just playing the field, not lying. Definitely everything she's doing is completely okay. And what?

What? My bracelet is just ruined. Okay. You know, apparently Kate's not doing anything wrong here, but when I joined the party of her and the guy, she freaks out and leaves. They're nice. She just leaves the party, and then it's just me and the dude in there. Well, that's nice. Now it's just two dudes in a locked party. Oh, God. So you can't get out. An unlocked party. It was unlocked. That's how I joined. And I joined. Kate just freaks out and leaves, and now it's just me and the dude in there, and we're like,

You don't even know the backstory. He's like, what's up? And I'm like, what's up? And then we just kind of, one of us leaves. And then, yeah, pretty much Kate was cheating on me. I wasn't cheating. We weren't together. You clearly were hiding something because you ran away. Because listen, I was still weighing my options. That's all I was doing. What was this guy's name?

Harper, you're 14. We're not going to say the name? At 14 years old... Harper, at 14 years old, would you consider that? We weren't dating. If it was unlocked, then I would be fine. We weren't dating. Listen, if any guy that I was talking to

was in a house party with another guy that... With another girl. With another girl, I mean. Then, like, I would kind of be mad. We weren't even really talking, though. We were talking. Not really. Not really? Listen, I was weighing my options because I liked Cash and I also liked this other guy. And I said, hmm, Cash lives in Oklahoma? I have math class with this guy and I see him every single day. So I was talking to him after school and then before bed, I would get on and talk with Cash and I wasn't dating either of them.

Do you hear that? She would get on and talk with you. Yeah. Y'all were talking. Talking. I'd have a conversation with him. And then I ghosted you.

No. Yes, ma'am. I ghosted you because I started dating... No, she wasn't. You never ghosted me. I did. No, you did not. No, you did not. Because I literally started... You go, girl. I literally started dating... Stop doing that. I literally... I don't like that. You go, girl. I started dating the guy and obviously I wasn't going to talk to another guy when I had a boyfriend. Really? You kissed me when you were dating him. You were so... When did I kiss you? No.

The truth comes out. Remember that? We did not kiss. Oh, sorry. We got close to kissing and then you said, I wish you would have kissed me. Yeah, I still do. That's not any better, Kate. You're a little cheater. I was just a little teenage girl. I would never do that. She's just trying to love. Yeah. While Kate was dating this guy.

Me and Kate were in that four-hour hug. We talked about that one time. She wanted me to kiss her, and I didn't. I was like, does she like me? Does she like me not? She's dating a guy, but she's hugging me for four hours. I'm kind of confused. Then afterwards, she told me she wished I would have dated her. Wow, you look really dumb. I don't know what to call that. You see him have... A little elf. You do look like an elf. She's in her element. I'm uncomfortable. I get smiley. That's not a story about...

How we broke up. There's something else that's heartbreaking. It actually broke Kate's heart, and I watched this girl cry. The ghost? No, she cried over something y'all probably won't even believe. Omegle is gone. Oh my god, I'm so sad. Omegle is gone. Forever. And ever. It's gone forever. I did not.

And if you guys don't know what Omegle is, I mean, good for you. I mean, you lasted. There's a monkey app now. It's called monkey.com or something like that. Yeah, that app's been out for a long time, but that one's not as good. But why is Omegle gone? Because me and my friends used to go on it at sleepovers. I looked it up, and apparently it was just in so many cases against pedophiles. My name's Chris Hansen.

And I'm on Omegle. What? I was so sad. I would always hope for a TikTok creator to come on there and be like, I know where you live. That's how you guys caught the pedophile, right? That is how we caught the pedophile. Yeah. I mean, Omegle was full of pedophiles. Can y'all believe that? Y'all look at an actual pedophile catcher. I actually, I caught one. I had my net, like SpongeBob caught you. And I got his phone taken away.

You did. I did. Like, that was crazy. I did that at 16. I was... Wait, no. My favorite part of this whole story is, like, the guy drove, like, hours to get there, and he had to figure out how to get home without Google Maps. And, dude, nowadays, I don't know how you do that. No idea. Wait, where did you find your phone? And it was raining. Huh? Where did you put the phone? Well, I got the pedophile off Omegle. I told him I was a little 16-year-old girl, or, like, 14 or something. And he brought KK.

Yeah, and then I brought Kate for the bait. And then when he got there, I was like, a cop just happened to pull up, literally just happened to pull up, and I told the cop what we were doing. And the cops went over there, and then they confiscated his phone. Yeah, and then they were like, how old are you? Because we were using pictures of me. And I was like, oh, I'm 17 or 16 or something. And he was like,

So don't ever do this again because you could go to jail next time. And I was like, oh. Yeah. What? The cops shut down my pedophilia business. Pedophilia catching business. I was 100%. What's that called? Success rate. You were on your way to Jeffrey Epstein. I was 100% successful. I was literally. Yeah. I was going to catch Jeffrey. I was on him. And then they shut me down. Jeffrey Dahmer?

No, no that one too. I had a business on that too, but I had some leaves. I can't believe what Jeffrey Dahmer did. Really? Didn't he cook his mom in a stove? His mom? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Yeah, but no no I have reclip the glam and guess what you guys don't know reclip is It's a good. It's an app where you just constantly you constantly have it going and If you like it's constantly running in the back of your phone So you literally just have the app like in the background like that has to be sponsored and no it's you know what it is what

I just clipped you. Clipped me? Now anyways guys listen so it's always running in the back of your phone and pretty much I caught Matt Black in. No! You know what I caught him saying? What did you catch me saying?

Yeah, he doesn't know what I'm trying to say. If you guys watched the other episode where Mav exposed me using reclip, I was like, I'm going to get him back. So now I have a reclip of Maverick. Careful with what you play right now. And like I said, I don't know if I explained it very well. It's always running in the back of your phone. And at any time, you can click clip. And it steals the last two minutes of audio that you just said. But you don't have to click record. It's always going. So Maverick said something crazy in outlandish. Why are you...

I'm sorry. What are you doing? I'm telling a story. I was downloading ReClip. Never mind. You can get back on. So let me just, enough said. Let me just explain, or let me just show you the ReClip. It is sponsored, right? Here we go. Listen to this. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Wait, no, it's this one. Wait. Ready? Wait. Hold on. No, wrong one. Okay, here we go. And then...

Just answer the question. Would you get... No, no, no. Tell me straight up. Would you get back with your girlfriend? Your ex-girlfriend. Would you make her your girlfriend again? That's a hard question. Honestly, probably. Wow. Wow, that's crazy. I know.

That is out of context. That is out of context. Would you like to explain yourself? That is not the whole conversation. That's crazy. There's much more to that conversation. No, Matt. That's it. That's the whole conversation. No, there's much more to that conversation. That was the whole conversation. No. That was the whole conversation. Anything he says after this was a lie. No. He said, he said, Maverick.

if it was, if, if, if, yeah, what did I say? I'm trying to remember. It was like weeks ago. You said, if she, you said something like, if she was the last person on earth or something. No, you did. You were like, you were like, if, if, if she was the last person on earth or like you made up one of your hypotheticals. And I was like,

I guess if last person and I had to procreate, then sure. Procreate? That's still you getting back with your ex. I just can't believe that you got caught in a hypothetical and you answered and he clipped it. Yeah, he clipped the hypothetical. But no, it was not like a getting back with her right now. No, okay. Either way, whatever was said before, who really cares? He said he would get back with his ex.

That's not what I said. Out of context. You are desperate. I'm not desperate. If one of his exes are watching this, hit him up. No. Don't do that. Hit him up. He's single because of you and ready to mingle. A message to all my exes. I love you all dearly. He misses you. He misses your kisses. He misses your hugs. He misses everything about you. He misses the touch of your hands. Shut up. But I personally...

I'm just not interested in romantically pursuing people at the moment, you know? Well, why'd you say people, bro? People? Don't assume that... Okay, there you go. Sorry. There you go. Yeah. That's better language. Every time any of y'all get on your phone on the podcast, y'all are like... It's like... Mindless brain scrolling on TikTok. It's like...

It says you. No, there's nothing I can not stand more than people brainlessly scrolling on their phones, which is kind of odd because you might be watching this on a short form piece of content right now and you just scrolled. And if you are, wake up. If you're going to scroll, at least scroll on our stuff. Yeah. Drop a like. Time to find some friends. Yeah, but honestly, don't scroll. It's killing your brain. Go touch some grass. I see people just sitting there like this.

No, the worst is at the gym. And they're just scrolling. Oh my gosh. The gym is actually insane. Everybody just has their phone up and they're scrolling. Matt's a gym scroller. What? You are a gym scroller. You just sit on a piece of machine and you're like, that is not true at all. He's like this. They're like in between sets scrolling. That is not true. That is true. That is so unfactual. Matt golfing. Y'all want to know what happened? Me and this man went to Cancun. We were on the golf range. We're two dudes in Cancun. Because we were at this resort. Not much else to do. You are any better, bro. No, no, I'm...

Take that back right now. We don't like any of this food. You weren't any better. Dude, compared to you, I was Tiger Woods. He was the driver for everything. He didn't even have a tee. He just used one club. He used the driver for everything. He putted the ball in. He's using the driver. I did. He stuck in the sand. He's using the driver. Everything I used the big driver. Hey, you know what? I won. I think you won. I did win. Don't even say that. This was like two years ago. I don't know. No, it's not two years ago. It was like last year. Listen to this. We get to the point in this...

There's golf course where there's like golf land, little greenery and greenery right here. And then there's like a 60 foot, probably not. There's like a hundred foot section. That's just like swamp. It's a river. It's like swampy. And you got to hit it over the swamp. Over the river. I go up there over the river. Right over the river. Right near, practically a hole in one, right near the hole. No, not right near the hole. Barely over the river. Maverick goes up there.

River. Oh. Keep in mind, we only have a limited amount of... We only have like eight golf balls. Do the whistle. I got you for the river sound. Okay, listen. We only have a limited amount of golf balls. So he goes up there again, puts one of our other golf balls up there, which we paid like $50 for these pack of golf balls. They were so expensive for no reason. It was like $8 a golf ball. So we go up there. Matt goes...

Oh, that was actually pretty good. That was actually really good. And he hits it in the river. And I was like, okay, I'm out one more ball. You get one more ball. And if it doesn't go, if it doesn't go, you're just going to start on that side. We'll just like throw your ball somewhere random. He goes up.

in the river. And I'm not even kidding. He hit every single one of our golf balls into the swamp. So I went on this little bridge in the swamp with my big driver trying to grab golf balls. We were both in the trees trying to find them. We're in Cancun. This swamp is scary. It's scary, bro. It's like the genre. There could be alligators, monkeys, baboons. Giant lizards coming at us. Yeah, there was giant lizards like this that would just go. And you're like, ah! And you're like,

They were scary. It's scary. It's like the lizard off Jesse. Yeah. They would just run out of nowhere. They're like, coming at us. And I would be like trying to grab a ball. And then it would get close to me. I'd be like, Mav, I don't want to reach down and grab it though. Because like we don't know what's under the bridge that could grab me. And I found like eight more golf balls. I was like, this is like $50 worth. Bring it back. Maverick sent his golf ball down.

Back in the river. And he hits all of them. And we have one left again. Out of the second batch, we have one left. I said no. I said no. He's making his story up. Am I really? You are exaggerating it. Is it made up? You're exaggerating it. How so? What exaggerated? It did not happen this many times. How many golf balls did you hit in the river? Probably four. Four? Yeah. Really not 12? No. Anyways, he hits all of them in the river. We have one left. I'm holding it. I said, Mav, you're not hitting this golf ball. No.

He's like, give it to me. I said, nope, you do not get this golf ball. If I give you this golf ball, we know statistically it's going in the river. And he's like, nope, I give him the golf ball in the river. And let me tell you, I was furious. It's sweaty and hot. It was so hot. We had no water because I gave you one little baby bottle. And this other guy, keep in mind, we paid $700 to golf here. $700.

We didn't know we paid that much, but we did. And you know what they give you? One little baby bottle of water. And it goes full. Yeah. And you have to pay for it. And there's like nobody, nobody on this golf range but us. That's crazy. Probably because it's $700 to golf there. And this little golf man comes right on his cart selling snacks.

And I was like, oh, can I have another bottle of water? Assuming it's free since we just paid $700. He's like, that'll be $12. I'm like, what? $12? For like a little, it's a baby bottle. And pretty much what happened after that, I go take my big old club, put it in. And we had to go home because we had no more golf balls. And we were out of water. And we were out of water. Mostly the water. No, mostly the golf balls because you lost all our golf balls. We can find more golf balls. No. We should go back to Mexico.

I love you, Mexico.

I don't want to go to Mexico. You're right. Where is that from? Every time somebody says Mexico, I'm like, a vila de Mexico. But what's the word I'm saying first? Viva la Mexico. Viva la Mexico. I think it's from South Park or something. He lands in Mexico and he's like, vila de Mexico. Well, you have to understand South Park is quite racist. That's not true. I just learned what racism is. Really? It's sad stuff, man. Shut up. Sad stuff. You know what I just learned? What?

What's that word? Hold on. How to not call your wife fat. Hold on. No, he's working on that. No, can we shut? I caught her. I made a fat joke one time. Bro, you gotta be careful. You are talking about racism. And you're like, you remember that word? What are you about to say? No, no, no. Do you remember that word? It's like... Be cool. No, no. Be cool about this.

What was I saying? Oh, the fat thing. I made one fat joke one time about my... It wasn't one. In case y'all didn't hear it, this was my fat joke. Quite a few. This was my fat joke. We were naming like board game puns. I said, Kate's life must be like the pop the belly, pig belly game because how much she eats.

That was my big joke. No, I think it was more than that. No, you did so much more. No, I didn't. I think you told her she was like a bus. And you said she was a hungry, hungry hippo. Harper, you gotta sit up. Yeah, it was quite a few. Nobody can see you. And that was the one joke I made. And everybody's hung up on that. And you know, nobody cares about the last episode where I got called a white Lizzo. Well, that's because it's not out there. None of y'all care. Lizzo's a great person. We're talking about personality. Oh. Yeah. Not size.

Besides, are you trying to say something? Should I answer granny? Yeah. Why would you not answer your granny? Put it on speaker. It's you. Hey, granny.

Oh, no, this is a good time. Tell her, too. Oh, you finally graduated? Oh. Oh, wait, you finally graduated? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I finally did. Yeah. Yeah. I was out at Wilson at her graduation. And then when I got home, I forgot to call you. Yeah. You know? So anyway. So how's it going, honey? Oh, it's going pretty good. It's going pretty good. Me and

uh me and cash are just you know doing working on some stuff kenzie's coming down soon um yeah yeah well i'm gonna have to meet this girl sometime you know she has to get the grandma's approval i know i know i you know yeah i'm just still done yet i know she's gotta get grandma's grandma's approval but i'm just still deciding if you know i feel like i either need to want to take it that yeah that's a big step you know

let me tell you now you said a mouthful it's a big step and it's not a it's not a decision that you make real fast you pray about it exactly you pray about it yeah and I've been praying about it I feel like right now it's just like I either need to break up with her or marry her I feel like

I feel like I just got to make up my mind. I'm 50-50. Yeah, don't make any hasty decisions. You can always just keep praying about it. Let God take care of you, you know? What do you think? Do you think I'm ready to get married? Honey, honey, honey, I can't tell you nothing like that. This is your life. It's your relationship between you and God.

Yeah. And you're the one that God is dealing with. Mm-hmm. And you know her. I've never met her. I have no idea. I know. I just don't want to make a mistake like Cash did and get married too fast. No, you don't. However, it has worked out good with Kate and Cash. Yeah. You know? And are they sitting there listening? What? What did you say?

- I'm probably sitting here listening to you. - No, Granny, this is Cash. - Oh my goodness, you're apart sometime. What do you mean? - Granny, you think it was a mistake? - You're mean. - You think me and Kate was a mistake? - No, I didn't say y'all made a mistake. Not at all. I said, it's been two years. I don't think, you know, it's worked out good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

you loved each other and you know what? As you will, let me tell you, you will always have to work at it.

And as the years go by, sometimes you have to work harder. Sometimes it just falls into place easier. Yeah, yeah. You're just depending on situations that happen in your life and both of y'all being on the same, you know, on the same page. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I can't believe you can't tell me and Maverick apart. Well, honey, I don't. I just, you know.

Y'all gotta quit doing this to me. You're probably talking bad about the other one. Yeah. Yeah. No, I would never do that. All right. Well, we just had a bunch of people get here and we're shooting an episode on the podcast. That's fine. Now, don't forget, tomorrow's your sister's birthday. Oh, is it? Yes, it is. Her 25th birthday. And we knew that. Oh, we knew it was her sister's birthday. Hey, did you know that? Yeah. We definitely knew that. Her 25th birthday. Oh.

I knew it was my sister's birthday tomorrow. Yeah, all right. Thank you, Granny. I would not forget that, Lane. Do you know of a speaker, a Christian speaker that's called Kelly Kaye?

No, I do not. Oh, okay. Well, I thought Maverick did. Anyway, he's down at our church, the Baptist church tonight, with a band that's called Trampoline. Oh, a band called Trampoline. Uh-huh, and they've got Kelly Kay speaking. So I thought maybe y'all knew who he was. Oh, no. All right, bye. Love you, Granny. Okay, love y'all. Bye-bye. That was crazy. She said, I don't want to make a mistake like Cash and Kate did. Yeah, you don't want to do that.

Have you ever woke up on the person next to you on a plane, like, leaning up against them? No. Yeah, me neither. No, I know you have now. I did one time. One time I was just, like, lightly leaning on a guy's shoulder, and I woke up, and I was like, oh, thanks, man. Did you let you stay there? Yeah, I was just, like, lightly leaning on him like this, and then I woke up, and I was like, I'm sorry about that. Were you in, like, a public school, or did you go to college and cheer, or, like? I just did, like, regular high school, and I did all-star cheer.

okay so once you graduated high school you didn't go to college no i did like i watched the all-star tv show so you know what's up you mean cheer on netflix oh i love that show did you like it i only watched one episode when did you watch that what do you mean i mean you watched it together i think it was a thing like two years ago why are you watching the all-star cheer show

What was your reason for watching the All-Star Cheer Show? I'm learning stunts. You want to see one? Yeah, let's see a stunt. Show me one of the stunts you learned. Yeah, you two could stunt together. Okay, here's one of the stunts I learned watching All-Star Cheer. All-Star Cheer. It's just so funny because Cash is the most ungraceful. Dude, she's just being so mean today. Wow. I was going to show you a stunt. Show me.

Are you guys not being nice around here? I am. I'm so nice. I'm sorry to everybody I've offended today. You shouldn't be. All right. Let's see the stun. Here we go. Wow. That was very graceful. That's a tumble you have. That is tumbling. What? Wait, what's a stun? Ready? You have to lift someone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lift Mav. Okay. Oh, she's lifting you, not me. No, lift Mav. You want to see the stun. You can do a knee stun. That's level one. Who wants me to stun?

Not me. That's like risking my life. Here, actually I'll stunt with you. Okay. Oh no. Oh god. These are the two people here that should definitely not stunt. I might need a more experienced stunter. I don't know if this is gonna work. Well, you said you can stunt so... You can stunt with her. Come on. Okay, ready? Ready? You all ready for this? Oh no. Oh no. Here we go. See?

That's not a stunt. Yeah, it's not really a stunt. Don't do it, Cash. I don't know if that qualifies as a stunt. That ain't no stunt. What do you mean? Maybe it's like a dance lift type of thing. Yeah, yeah, a dance lift, but not really a stunt. Not like a cheer stunt. All right, Anna, name a random card. Don't do it. A random card? Yeah. Two. Like two of spades. Okay, never mind. Two of spades.

Ace of spades Ace of spades Look at that How did you know that I was going to name that Say queen of hearts You want me to name another one Queen of hearts Check that out Wait how did you do that That's crazy I also got another trick Wait can you Well this is awkward Alright name a random number Between 1 and 10

Seven. I told you! I told you! I just whispered in the microphone she's gonna say seven! Wait, really? Yes. That's the number everyone says. Okay, fine. Nobody give me credit. Whatever. It's fine. Everybody just ripped it right away from me.

One of my drinks finally worked and everybody says, "Wow, honey." One of our friends came over this weekend and he tried to tell us that he got sick one night and he was dead serious. Oh my goodness. He tried to tell us that he threw up 100 times. Who? Chase. Chase. He said, "No, I legitimately," like two weeks ago,

I threw up 100 times in one night. And he's being so for real. That is so impossible. You can't throw up 100 times. But you should see his confidence. His confidence makes me think it's possible. It's possible, yeah. There's nothing in your stomach. I'm just sitting here in the bathroom like, one. Two. Yeah.

That's what I'm saying. After like eight, you're losing count. You're not gonna be like, 99. 100. And then stops counting. He's like, it was 100 plus. Then he just stops counting after 100. That's crazy. Alright, somebody pick a card. The Halloween episode was my favorite. Today's episode you're gonna love even more. Ace of spades? No, but it was so funny because he threw up. Are you sure you want to pick the ace of spades? Okay, three of diamonds. Ace of spades.

Okay fine, four of hearts. Four of hearts? I think that was right here. Mav? Pick a card, any card. Queen of spades. Queen of spades. Okay. Cash, what I think Cash says the most is like... Oh this is so easy. Kate's so fine. This is so easy. Kate's so fine. Never heard him say that. Kate's so bad. No, Cash is like, what?!

That's what Cash does. Wait, why did your voice get so high? He goes, what the? Yeah, that's what I was going to say. He does do what the. He says that a lot. He also will say, are you kidding me? Or he goes like, are you kidding me? This is what Cash does. He's like, oh no. Okay, what? That rarely happens anymore. Oh no, I see blood. So bad. Or he's like, or he's like. Yeah, something like that. Wait, Matt, so who do you think is the second most likely to miss an episode?

Just miss one episode. Well, I thought the whole order was crazy. I would say most likely to miss an episode is this one. Really? Yeah. Most likely to have something going on and we have to shoot. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. I agree with that, but I think we would all be like, we can't shoot without Harper. Well, the only way that would happen is if like... There's a guest or something. Something happens, like...

we're not like like generally right now guys like we have like two like we're shot up to like a month ahead on podcasts but like if we were down to like one week and then something happened where like harper got sick or like a family member she had to go visit or something like it was like passing away or something yeah and then harper was like gone we might would have to like just be like frick we're gonna miss an upload date if we don't film so that could happen but also i could see kate being pregnant or having kids and being like

Listen, I have a thing the kids can't miss or...

No, I'm in labor. I'm in labor. Y'all are all going to stay here and film, though. My husband misses the birth of our first child to fill the pockets. Guys, Kate's not here today because she's having a baby at the hospital. Oh, it never happens. I'm here, though, for you guys. Let's get this episode started. What if we just let her have the baby here? On camera? On camera, live. That would be an episode. Push! Push!

she's in labor for like 20 hours i don't want to quit the podcast when i have a baby i really don't but i'm being so for real guys when we have a baby well a we'll probably have to have a babysitter slash nanny on set yeah just so if the baby is crying that we can like hand it off for like the hour and she can like go tell her not to cry and but i think a great thing would be to get a little baby carrier right here and it's sitting in between us

What do y'all think? Or we just let it crawl around. Or y'all can put me in the carrier and act like I'm the baby. Or we just fence this area in and we just let the baby crawl around and do whatever it wants while we record. Fence the baby in. I think it depends. I think if the audience were to like that, but if people were like, get the baby off set.

we'd probably be like, okay. Yeah. We should have a gymnast coach come on and try to teach cash back foot. We literally just had an audio here, but no, but she, she's just tall. Oh, you want someone that can spot cash? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it better be doing Johnson. If I'm doing a bad video, if I, if,

If I'm doing a backflip, there better be two Dwayne The Rock Johnsons here because I feel like I'm heavy. Dwayne The Rock. Two Dwayne The Rock Johnsons. You can do 95% of the backflip yourself instantly. I know I have the capabilities to do a backflip. I don't. You'll see. I don't think Kate does it. Give us a little jump, Kate. She could maybe. No, not even a back handspring. Kate, jump as high as you can. Back handsprings are harder than time. No, no. Jump as high as you can in your little cardigan.

And your cardigan come on grandma jump jump as high as you can watch out high her feet get off the ground jump jump jump jump jump jump No, no, no power and speed power and speed is what we need. Come on. Let's go No, she's not trying try no try go No, that's right. Did you guys try it's really good. No, it's really good. She's not trying to catch you jump. Oh

My kneecap hurts. Okay, well. Do it. If you can't do a tuck, then at least jump. How embarrassing. He did actually fly, though. He did low-key fly. He does levitate, kind of. I can't jump. My knee hurts. Wait, is there 26 letters in the alphabet? Yes. Oh, I nailed it. Or 27? Guys, what if I peeled this off and ate it? 27? 26, Kate. 26. She's counting them.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Wait, L and? Did I say L and or did I say L M? L M N O P. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V. Okay, we're about to find out. W, X, Y, and Z. You were right. Wow, you were right. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Shocker. Who wants to go to the Four Seasons of Orlando? Me. Me. Oh, I love that baby. I'd love to go to the Four Seasons of Orlando, mother. I think it'd be bright, but spricuous. I wanted to reach out to the Four Seasons of Orlando baby. You did. What if he went on a podcast? Yeah, but he didn't answer. Yeah. The baby didn't answer. He didn't DM you back? He never DMed me back. But Maverick was like, I was like, I'm going to reach out to the Four Seasons of Orlando baby.

and get, I think it's a girl. And I was like, I'm going to get her on the pod. Yeah. And I was like, we don't need a baby on the podcast. So y'all can thank Maverick for us not having the four seasons. I just don't need the conversations. I mean, for a podcast, all you can say is me. Yeah, but think about it. If we sat down, right? I can go, are you happy to be here? Me. Me. Who wants to go to the four seasons?

Did you have a good flight? Me. He has nothing to say. He is a fully conscious baby, though. He would be like, meh. Maybe he'd be like, how was your flight? He'd be like, it was good. It was spectacular. It was spectacular, actually. It was absolutely tremendous. Have y'all seen those baby geniuses on the Ellen show? They're like two and a half years old and they can point at every single country in the world.

Or like, yeah, do some crazy math problems. You think that's real? I do miss the Ellen show. I mean, I heard some accusations about Ellen that weren't very nice. I heard bad stuff about it, too. But those are also, we don't know if it's true or not. But what's it called? I'm sure there's probably someone that would say we have a horrible environment here, too. Yeah, like me. They treat me horribly off camera. I mean, like, what's it called? Kate's verbally abusive. If anyone from our team ever tried to, like...

Kate's verbally... Say we were terrible? I think I'd lose my mind. Kate is terrible. Because I put snacks out and everything. She's verbally abusive. If you don't, she's very angry. Maverick is physically abusive. What? Okay, these are not funny jokes. To me. To me. They're all abusive to me. And Harper is online abusive to me. Online.

No, I actually... Bullies me online. I actually do. If there's a taser inside or a lighter inside, I do try to burn cash. Yeah, see? But what's about... If I ever left the episode, I wouldn't be like... I wouldn't ever be like...

They were so rude. I hate them. Wait, left the episode or left the podcast? Left the podcast. You were fired? Yeah, I was fired. You wouldn't go say we were so rude? No, I would not say that. Are we so rude? No. Like literally, what's it called? I think we should do one episode where every 15 minutes someone gets voted off.

Oh, that would be funny. Oh, that's funny. Survivor style. I love Survivor. So the whole 15 minutes before, it's like, listen, don't vote me. In a minute, we're going to vote. Guys, listen. No, no. And we all just have a card, and then we all just have to hold up that name.