Shownotes Transcript
You're pretty smart. When people talk about you, too smart comes up a lot. So why are you trying to prove them wrong? Why aren't you pushing the limits of science and powering the nuclear engines of the world's most powerful Navy? If you were born for it, isn't it time to make a smart choice? You can be smart or you can be nuke smart. Become a nuclear engineer at Navy.com slash nuke smart. America's Navy forged by the sea.
The game we're supposed to play is two truths and a lie. Maverick told me not to date Kate. Maverick told me Kinsey wasn't his type. Maverick told me Harper will never find a boyfriend. Only one is true. Yeah, which one do you think is true? I think he said don't date me. Wow, Kinsey got it right again. No, three for three. Win. He did. Win. Matt, explain yourself. My dad got bit by a copperhead and had to be rushed to the hospital. Oh. My mom starts driving after the ambulance that she called while my dad's like boiling.
She left your dad? Yes, because she wanted to find the ambulance quicker. What's up guys? Welcome back to another episode. All of this was to get to the point that in this episode, I'm going to be spoiling your book for you. All of this was what?
We just started, my man. I think they picked up some of it, maybe. Yeah. In case you guys are wondering, we could have probably shot four episodes by now. Whoa. Oh, and look, my friends are texting me asking to hang out because they think we're done shooting the podcast. Wait, actually? Yeah. Chase? Yep. And because Maverick...
In case y'all don't know, we shoot... Dang, we could have made it to Hillside tonight. I was supposed to go to the gym. I was supposed to go to the gym. Harper's supposed to hang out with friends. I'm supposed to hang out with friends. We shoot two episodes a day. We shoot the first episode of Maverick said, Hey guys, everybody just take like 10, 15 minutes. I got to go sign up for some stuff on the computer for hunting. I was trying to do it before and y'all were in a hurry to do it. And I was like, all right, I'll just do it. Two hours later, here we are. Wait, hold on. Two hours later. To be fair, I planned this to do while Harper was in her voice lesson.
I'm sorry. Her voice lesson wasn't going to last two hours. My voice lesson was six. Oh, 30 minutes. Oh, wow. Well, you know, it happens. She could have became a pro singer by now. Look, I didn't realize I was going to have a bunch of problems. I have to sit on hold and a whole bunch of things. And I'm sorry. Anyways, well, there's that. And I value all of you for waiting. Thank you. If you value me enough, don't spoil my book. Unfortunately, that is what I'm going to have to do in this episode. If he does that, I'm moving on. And Alex is going to be just as mad. He doesn't know. I walked in the other day.
Maverick saying he read. Hey guys, I'll be honest. I couldn't really read it. Guys. Nobody knows what's happening. I just looked. Nobody knows what's happening. I looked it up. No, I'm getting started the episode with all that being said, everybody was sad because the cameras weren't rolling. Hey, relax. Everyone knows. I've been relaxing for the past two hours. Okay. Does he seem tense to you? Yeah. I'm done relaxing. It's time for me to be tense. Oh yeah. Yep. Um, so I'm going to spoil Kate's book.
Mavericks claiming he read the last two pages of Kate's book didn't do that. Never claimed that. Claimed I tried to read and that got boring. So, I googled it. The girls don't look very happy. Oh gosh, that smells horrible. Smell that, Cash. What is it? Oh my gosh, is that your drink from last time you were over here? Smell that, Cash. That is some creation you have concocted and that is not okay. Wait, let me look inside.
Why can't I touch it? It just looks like coffee. In case you're wondering, I'm not going to drink all your backwash, okay? I know, but I'm just wanting to hold the thing while you smell it. Ew! What is that? It smells worse than it looks. Did you smell it? Bring it over here. Chalky milk.
Chalky milk? Ew! What are you drinking? What is that? I'll give you all $100 if you find out. What is that? Is there caramel in it? Oh my gosh! What is that? You guys know that video? Texas Tap. Is there caramel in it? I don't know. It looks like a freaking coffee and chocolate milk mixed together.
It's something, man. It's bad as frick, man. If I guess the main soda, will you tell me yes? Yeah. Okay, is it Dr. Pepper? Yes. Okay, it's Dr. Pepper with vanilla creamer. Yes. And lime. And one more. And chocolate syrup. One more. No. Caramel. No. What? Smell it and make, and like. Hold on. What just happened? Dr. Pepper with vanilla and lime? Without even tasting it?
Rocha's smell? She got like a bloodhound nose. It's like a fruit. Raspberry? I know it. What is it? I just read it, but I could have told you without looking. You read it? Yeah. Raspberry? Hey guys, I don't think everybody really cares that much about the flavor of this soda. It does smell kind of fruity. Yeah. Kinsey, we're talking into her mic there. Kinsey's not even talking into her mic, just worried about the flavor of Harper's Soda. Man, pineapple? I don't know. Kinsey, if you don't stop, I'm going to fart. You stop. Tell me what the fruit is. It's coconut. Yeah.
Okay, well, I'm glad we spent all that time figuring out coconut flavor. Y'all made it sound like it smelled like rotten milk. It smells good. That does smell bad. Wait, what do you mean you read it? You could have told me if you didn't read it. Oh, no, I looked it up online because I was scared to smell it, so I was like, what if it's like licorice or something? So you looked it up online? What, you looked up what? What's in Harper's Cup? Yeah. Yeah.
I chat GBT'd. What is Harper drinking right now? Kate looks up everything so, like, it's like you can't have anything. I'm seriously so tired of it. Every time we watch a movie, Kate looks up the ending. Ew, it tastes bad. That's literally just personal. You know what, man? You're right. You should read the last two pages of Kate's book and ruin it. Because every movie me and her watch, she looks up the ending and then tries to tell me. No, I don't. You want me to tell you? Yes, you do. No, I don't.
to tell you? You try to tell me. Sometimes you'll be like, oh, he doesn't die. I'm like, hey, I'll tell you what happens if you want to tell her. No. Because I just don't really want the heat. I just want to pour this on cash. What the? I literally, I know what you're going to say. Hamish wins. What? Oh, you know, I didn't see that coming. Does it have lime in it when you look it up?
What just happened? What the... Did you just eat the cup? Yo, that ain't a waffle cone. What are you doing? It's Dr. Pepper vanilla and coconut cream. Oh, darn it. I actually hate waffle cones. Those are the stupidest inventions ever made. What? I love waffle cones. They're low-key kind of good. No, no, no, no. Ice cream belongs in a bowl. I would agree, but a waffle cone? Like...
dude that yo gosh please what who did that that just ricocheted from his butt to that apple back to his butt i'm begging you to please stop at this point stop my bodily functions great okay yeah i'll stop farting okay i'll just stop farting forever yeah that would be nice to get a reaction out of everybody and it works every time maybe you should stop giving them to me i feel like people watching are really gonna start wondering like
Are you okay? Me? No, I'm not okay. I'm so sorry. The chiropractor told me I have an abnormally large gas bubble. The chiropractor?
Yes. You know what's funny? I think I told this story on like the first or second episode of The Pod ever. I went to the chiropractor and he took an x-ray on me and there was this big black circle in my stomach. Yeah, you told me. And I was like... Everybody knows. Yeah. What's that? And he said, oh, you just have an abnormally large gas bubble in your stomach. So therefore, I am diagnosed with abnormally large gas bubble. That's crazy. Maybe you just hadn't farted that day. No. That doesn't mean it's there permanently. No, I fart every day, okay? So you can't make fun of me
For having an abnormally large gas bubble. You need to take medicine. I disagree. You want me to take laxatives? She doesn't even allow me to poop, so I can't take laxatives. I feel like I can make fun of you. I feel like I can make fun of you. Why can't I make fun of you for it? For what? For farting. My abnormally large gas bubble? Yeah, why can't I? You said I can't. But I'm going to. I just prefer not to. You make fun of Harper's Hype. Yeah.
She can't control that. And you make fun of Mavs' scoliosis. And I can't control that either. Yeah, and we make fun of your weight. Yeah, but I don't tell you to stop having scoliosis.
Okay, fair enough. Yeah, exactly. What would you do if right now? I just step and farted in the mic you'd be like oh, oh my god You gave at least 10 mil views on take time okay if you can you please someday fart in your microphone Please it would make everyone's day Everyone
I could go without that. Let me tell you something. Yeah, McKenzie's in the splash zone. Splash? Splash zone is crazy. Yeah, you know, SeaWorld. I haven't had water at all today. I've had, this morning, an Iced Carbon Macchiato. And then after school, I had Swig.
And then I had, uh... That's a lot of caffeine. I know. Yeah, that just sounds like all you drank today was caffeine. You have to be so careful. That's why she's in a good mood today, though. Low-key. She's had 600 milligrams of caffeine. She's very, like, just hyper. She's not, like... Ow! A lot of times at this hour, you start to get real tired. Yeah, a lot of times at this hour, you start to get like this. Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh. Ha, ha, ha.
She is eating a waffle cone right now, and it's not a real waffle cone. My question is, do I go to Taco Bell and get a Baja Blast, or do I get water? If you do order a Baja Blast, let me know. Do I get water with it? Yes, both. Should I get water? No, why would you not mix them together? I won't mix them together. You should not get water from Taco Bell. Just get water at your house. What if I get both?
I have two cup holders in my car. Hear me out. You get the water to make yourself feel good. You don't need a drink.
You just get the Baja Blast. Yeah, I know, but I haven't had water all day long, so do I drink the water before the Baja Blast? You need to drink the water. What if the Baja Blast... I don't really think anybody cares, actually, about this conversation, so I say we play a game. No games. For the sake of your health, do water. Also, life hack, I found out when you go on airplanes, the pressure makes your body, like, blowed up and stuff, so a way to help is to make sure that you're drinking eight fluid ounces of water for every hour you're on the plane. Eight what? And it'll help keep, like, it circulating.
You know what I found out about airplanes? That sounds expensive. You ever been on an airplane? Yeah, that sounds like a scheme for them to get all the money. Do y'all have those water bottles? I'm just a little worried. Water bottles? Yeah. We have water bottles. Like that type of water bottle? Mav's mouth has been on that. Never mind. We do have some. They're in the garage. There's some in the garage. You know what I don't understand? Do you need one? Yeah, could I go grab one? Yeah, if you want to. Just don't get locked in there. Go grab one. Thanks. Yeah, don't let the big bad garage monster get you. I know, I just don't want to miss the game.
I don't want to miss the game and stuff. Okay. Well, anyways. You know what I found out about airplanes? What's the game? Okay. You say your story. I run downstairs to get the water. Okay. That sounds good. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Good. Yeah. You can head out now. But try not to say the game. Yeah. I won't start the game without you. Are you sure? Yeah. Yeah.
All right, thank you. So how the game is played. There's very detailed rules to this game. Oh, she's running faster. No, but you know what I did find out about airplanes? Apparently, when you're pregnant, you're not supposed to ride on an airplane. Okay? After a certain amount of time being pregnant, once you get farther in the air. Yeah. Now, can somebody tell me how going up into the air and landing back down on the ground is going to mess up a baby? I don't think it's that. It's not that it's going to mess up the baby. They just don't want you to go into labor. Yeah, go into labor while you're in there. That wouldn't be good. Oh.
What if you need medical care and you're just stuck there? Well, that's like saying, what if you have like a... They have a lot of stuff on a plane. Any condition. They have defibrillators. They have all sorts of stuff. Defibrillators. Defibrillators. It's not like if you're eight months pregnant going on a plane, they're going to stop you. It's just like highly recommended that you don't. And doctors are going to tell you not to. They even have EpiPens on planes now. What's the defibrillator thing? It's like the thing...
No way. I don't think they have that on a plane. Yeah, they do. That seems like a weapon that somebody could use to hijack the plane. Well, I'm sure it's hidden in the floorboard. Well, it's just with the medical equipment. They have several things on there. I'm still convinced. I know that this isn't the case, but every time you flush an airplane toilet, you're telling me it doesn't just literally fall out of the plane with how aggressive the toilet flushes? I think...
I'm a bro. You just see planes flying over you. He's like what's that? No. It's so aggressive I feel like the only place you could be going is outside No, I'm so sorry. I'll go get you swigging me. She just spilt swig everywhere Yeah on new carpet hard
Alright, we'll cut once this is... We'll come back once this is cleaned up. You guys know how Harper just spilled her drink? Yeah, that was my bad. Yeah, we have this, like, pet-stained striker shark industrialized cleaner. Just show them what you got. We had a vacuum. Yeah, it's called a vacuum case. Pet shark. And you can suction up mess.
Okay, step back, Kate. What's the brown liquid? Okay, yeah. See, this is what we're talking about right there. Ew. That's not all my drink. Maverick vacuumed up Stella's throw up. Trust me, your drink looked disgusting. Maverick literally vacuumed up Stella's throw up in that like two or three weeks ago and has it cleaned it out. That is not the truth. You're so disgusting. You just said you did that. No, I said I was going to and I didn't. I had to throw away the whole thing. That's not true.
I threw away the whole rug she threw up on. Okay, so. But did any of the throw up get picked up at all? No, because I didn't even use that hardly. I scrubbed it with towels. No, no, no, not use that hardly. I literally put it down. Did you use that? I put it down for like literally like two seconds and then I had to scrub with paper towels and it still wouldn't come out. Okay, then what is the brown substance? I'm telling you, it smelled horrible when I got it. What's the brown substance? Not the smell. I don't know. It was already in there. I know it smelled bad before.
I plugged it in and I was like that is horrible and so I started using paper towels trying to get it up couldn't even get it up. So what he's saying is... What is the brown substance? Well most of that is your swig darling. No, there was like 5mm spread across the floor. No, 5mm spread? Dude, what? What? What are you talking about? You sound like a bedding app. Like 5mm of water or swig on the floor and probably more like 10mm of Stella's throw up so... Probably can't. Wait, you think the dog threw up more than your drink?
Twice the amount? Have you seen sales? Throw up that thing stacks up like this. No, no, no. I picked it up the night that it happened. It was like just a small little stain like this big on the rug. There was not actual like chunks or anything. I'm actually worried. What is that in the thing? It's probably throw up. Because there's no way that's all my swigs. Yeah. Oh, that's your swig, darling. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's what's in your stomach right now. Yeah, I know, but my...
I know, okay, yes, but I- That makes it the Baja Blast Freezing Whatever Styrofoam you ate. Wait, Alex, did you use it after one of the podcast episodes when we made a mess? I'm actually worried now. Well, for the record, when we use that thing, you're supposed to empty out the- So y'all are telling me there is a mystery brown stain and no one's claiming it. That's interesting. Alex is trying to accuse me. You know what I think? No one usually claims mystery brown stains. I think when people quickly accuse people, they have something to hide.
Oh, did Alex do this? You guys think I'm the one that's gonna leave dog throw-ups sitting in that thing? No, it's not me. And I also grew up with steam cleaners. I emptied them out every time I used them. I'm the only one that I'm pretty sure has told everyone we have to empty it out after we use it. Dude, I grew up with steam cleaners. Alright, man. You grew up with steam cleaners. I don't think the audience cares about our steam cleaners. Steam and non-steam.
Okay. All right. So I think the real question is who's going to clean it out after this? I'm just confused on what is in that. Like, it doesn't matter who's going to clean it out. What is the problem? No, it doesn't matter. I think we should throw it away and get a new one. I can clean it out, but you guys being scared to dump something out of something is kind of pathetic. No, it's not just dump it out. You have to, like, spray it on water, too. The thing is,
The thing is, you think being scared to dump something out is bad, huh? I dare you to dump that out. Okay, fine. I dare you to dump that out on your face. What? Now he's scared to dump it out. I say you would dump it on me. Yeah, you're scared to dump it. I dare you to drink the whole thing.
That's like saying, are you scared of hot sauce? Are you scared of hot sauce? How much money would it take for me to dump that on your face? Let me put it in your eye. How much money would it take for me to dump that on your face? I'll give $100. That's the stupidest thing you've ever said. How much money to dump that on your face? Please go get it now. No, no, no, no, no. It's going to be a lot of money. No, no, please do it now. No, seriously. Mostly because we don't know what it is. If we knew it was just the swig. How much to dump the Mystery Browns name on someone's face? Who has the cheapest price here? Alex is going to take it.
Alex, take it or leave it. Alex, 50 bucks, take it or leave it. How much is a hot tub? I'll do it for 20 bucks. Do you want a hot tub?
Oh, well, I don't, but I know you want a hot tub. I do. Oh, yeah, whatever happened to that conversation? We were supposed to buy a hot tub. Wait, you'll do it for how much? Oh, I was going to say, I'll stick my hand in it for $20. Okay. For $20? And then rub your face. Well, that's more like $40. He's going to need more makeup if he does that. Yeah, right. Okay, okay. Listen, I don't think anyone cares about the contents of our steam cleaner. No, me neither. So let's play the game. What game? All right, this game is called Who Should Cash Jump the Steam Cleaner Bucket On?
Yes, yeah Okay, what cash? Yeah? Yeah, or yeah, or man. That's really good. That's a second option. That's really good. They really saw it on the option No, but for real let's play the game that we're supposed to play today the game. We're supposed to play is two truths and a lie That's right All right, so who wants to go first who's got their question? I know first I thought of mine earlier today. Oh, is it a question? What is it picking her nose?
Ew, now we got a mystery green stain. She was doing it very politely, so it's fine. Very elegantly? Oh, that is not polite. That isn't polite or elegant. No, no, please stop. Dude, you know what I'm sick and tired of? People acting like they don't pick their nose when they call someone out. Oh, shut up. Don't do it in front of me. But you don't do it in public. Oh, so you admit you do it. Everyone does it. You gotta get stuff out of your nose. No, everyone does not do it, Kinsey. I just got you. What? No, you... Raise your hand if you pick your nose here. You...
You literally have to. Kenzie, raise your hand. I agree. There are just like little crusties you gotta do. Okay, raise your hand if you've picked your nose in the last year. I have not. What? Yes, everyone, everyone raised their hand.
You guys are disgusting I don't do it you they're disgusting you can use tissue paper no tips whatever that's all Okay like this video of you guys pick your nose. Yeah, that's great pick your nose you have to subscribe Subscribe now see all right. I'm gonna go first with my two truths in a lie all right teachers in a life
I was the old Mulgee County. Wait, whoa, whoa. What? Okay. Cash, you can't play. You can't play. What? You can't play. I can't play. No, because you know too much about me. I literally invented the game. Yeah, but you can't play this round. All right. I was the old Mulgee County disc golf under 12 division champion. I contacted a doctor about getting lip filler. I wet the bed so much I had to set a pee alarm.
Okay, I know that that one's a lie, but the lip filler is insane. So you make fun of cash for having makeup on, but you contacted a doctor about getting lip filler? Wait, wait, what were the options? You are a... You're embarrassed? You're a pro disc golf player of Okmulgee County. Under 12. You thought about getting lip filler. Under 12. That's crazy. So disc golf pro Okmulgee, you contacted a doctor about lip filler, and you set a peep alarm to remind yourself to pee.
Well, I know the real one. There's two real ones. Yeah, it's two truths and one lie. Nope. Mine is one truth and two lies. Yeah, it's two lies and... Wait.
It's two truths and a lie? Yeah, it's two truths and a lie. Oh, well, I... That's why I was confused. Oh, no, I did one truth and two lies. Okay. Yeah, I knew that. I was like, wait. His truth is he's a disc golf professional. Okay. Wait, what are the other two lies? Cash, you cannot answer. No, no, no. Cash, you cannot answer. Cash, you cannot answer. You said you have two lies? Yes. I have two lies and one truth. Okay, yeah. I'm saying the one truth is the disc golf thing, and then the two lies are the pee alarm and lip filler.
That's crazy. I'm going to say the pee alarm is true and that the lip filler and the disc golf are fake. What do you think, Harper? Yeah, I'm going with Kenzie. Part of me really thinks he won. Wait, wait, wait. You think what's true? I think the pee alarm is true. Are you sure y'all don't want to discuss amongst yourselves? No, actually, actually, actually, I think the lip filler is true because I definitely... Lip filler? Yeah. Pee. What do you think? The disc. Wow, all three different answers. Man, I must have cooked y'all, huh? I know which one it is. What's true? The lip filler for sure.
Everybody got final answers in? Yeah, they are. It's gotta be Pete. If it's Lippler, you have to call him gay. Okay. It is true. I wet the bed so much, I had to have an alarm. See?
That would go off when I would start peeing. I'm a good wife. Kenzie was correct. Yeah. Wait, what? Yeah. He's like, yeah. What do you mean go off when you would start peeing? Oh, don't you start acting like you didn't have the same one. Matt, what do you mean by that? When you would start peeing and start beeping. An alarm that would go off when you start peeing. That's insane. That's a problem. You had the same one. No, I actually have no clue what he's talking about. Oh, yes. I took pills. I was on medication. To not pee.
Yeah, I had a condition. No, before that, mom made you wear that alarm thing too. I did not wear an alarm diaper or whatever the fuck you're talking about. How old were you?
You had a diaper? I'm calling your mom. No. I never wore whatever. Yes, I am. Don't tell me no. Was it like a diaper? No, it was like regular underwear, but it's like a little wire thing that just goes in. They wore diapers. And if there's any sort of like humidity or whatever, it just goes off. Humidity? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Maybe humidity was the wrong word. I never wore it. Any moisture? When Cash was younger, I know I did. I already confessed. You don't have to call me out. Okay? Okay. But when Cash...
Cash was younger. Did he have to wear that thing to sleep where it would go off in the middle of the night if he started peeing? No, I did not wear that, Mom. I'm pretty sure I tried that with both of you. I think I tried it longer with Mav, and then I did find a pill we could put you guys on. You may not have worn it very long. I remember wearing it. I was on the pills. I still think you wore it, just maybe not as long as Mav because I found this pill that seemed to help just as good as that.
Yeah, no, Mom. How old were they? Yeah, I'm like 99% sure. You don't have to say how old we were. Don't answer that question. Wait, how old were they? You can play defense on how old we were. How old were they? All right. What? Tell her how old they are. No, I'm not going to do that. How old were y'all? Kinsey wants to know how old we were. See, I don't even know. Okay, when did Maverick stop peeing the bed? I didn't write this stuff down.
Yeah, like ballpark estimate though. Okay, but are we talking like two or are we talking seven? Uh, or like 15. You were 12 years old. She said both of us. Yeah, and it's nothing to be embarrassed about, right?
Yeah, okay. No, I did not do that. Hey, hey, well, she's wrong about me just in so many different ways. No, she's not. I did not wear the alarm freaking underwear thingy whenever you wore it. Yes, you did. And also, I did not stop peeing in the bed until I was 12. Okay, I still do. That's insane, bro. So she was wrong about that. Well, she can get you back on the medication if you like. I'm on the medication. No, you're not. Yes, I am. Yes.
Really? What? You didn't know my medication? Whoa, okay, so y'all have problems with peeing in the bed? Listen, this was two truths and a lie. Not judging time. Yeah, yeah. All right, Harper, what's yours? Oh, let me get it.
Let me see. Let me just get it. Let me check that. Let me check that. All right. No, no, don't you start yawning. Sorry, I have so much energy. It's too trusting a lot. Wait, hold on. Before you say yours, I do have something to piggyback off that. I do admit, still to this day, I wet the bed maybe like once a year. And don't act like you guys don't. But I have very bad sweating problems too at night. So it is horrible that I have both of these things. I can honestly say I have not peed the bed since I was like one years old.
Oh, shut up. No, genuinely, I don't think I've wet the bed in at least two years. Okay?
You seem proud of that. I am. At least two years. Oh, you're like 24 years old. Yeah, well, you said you do it yearly, okay? Yeah, I do it like maybe once a year if I drink a lot of water and then I'm like really tired. But I also have a very bad sweating problem that when I wake up in the middle of the night, this happens like once a month. Yeah, we all know about your night sweats. Yeah, so I have to get down on the sheets after I wake up and use the bathroom. And I come back and I feel my bed soaking wet.
I have to smell it. I'm like, is this going to smell sour or is this going to smell like nothing? And when I had to get down and smell it, it's like once a year, I'm like, oh, I'm going to have to go join Kate on her side of the bed. Oh, my God. How often, be honest, does it smell like urine? Like once a year, I told you. Really? This is not real. Y'all made this up. No, check my mattress. I have a protector on it.
You know that he pees the bed? What? Is she not supposed to marry me or something? She's crazy. Yeah, I'm open and honest about it. Yeah, it's not like she can do anything. I mean, Kate... Yeah, it's not like... You're in it now. You're in it. Okay, ready? Yeah, what's yours, Harper? So, I actually have two lies and one truth. Okay. Okay, so...
So what you have two lies in one truth yes, yes, yes wait is the game two lies and a truth There's a two truths and a lot teachers and lie, but I Okay, okay, so number one I was born with a small hole in my heart like the top left corner I've never number two specific. She's still not from a friend. She doesn't Okay, I have never tried American cheese and
Okay. I believe that. And number two, I used to pee the bed for attention. Why does everybody have to pee in the bed? You know what's crazy? I almost put pee in the bed on mine too. Just imagine Harper standing over her bed like, come on. I'll do it, mom. I'm doing it right now. So yours is two lies and one truth? Yeah, two lies and one truth. Okay, so there's a truth. There's a truth that she peed the bed for attention, never ate American cheese, and she has a hole in her heart. You don't have a hole in your heart.
That's not true. How do you know? She could. No, she doesn't. She could. A lot of people have that. I don't. But I feel like it would have came up. Yeah. I don't think you have that. I feel like with the amount of hours I've spent talking to you on this couch, I would know about that. I'm going to say it's the American cheese thing. You feel like she's never had American cheese? Yeah. No, I'm going with
There's a hole in the heart. Alright, what do you guys think? I think the truth is... Wait, you think that's the truth? Yeah. Okay. You think that's... American cheese is the truth? I think the truth is also American cheese. Okay. What do you think, Kenzie? I think the truth is you peed on the bed for a day. Alright, which one is it? Oh my gosh. Okay, so the lie is I don't actually have a hole in my heart. And then the other lie is... Wait, what? Is American cheese like... Is it like...
Wait, what? What? Is it... Is American... Is it... Is American cheese the cheese on pizza? No. No, it'd be mozzarella. Yeah. Yeah. American cheese is like what's on most burgers. Quesadillas. Quesadillas.
It's just like yellow cheese on burger. It's like when you go to a burger place. Okay, okay. Then the other lie is yes, I've had American cheese. And then the truth is I used to pee on my bed for attention. Wow, Kinsey actually got it right. Dude, we both had pee once? Yeah. Did you adjust yours? Yeah, I did. I adjusted mine. That's crazy. How old were you when you stopped? Like last year.
I'm sorry. I'm not lying. All right. Here's mine. No, I'm joking. But, like, I actually, like, used to pee the bed so my mom would come upstairs and me – sorry. My mom would come upstairs. What? No, my mom would come upstairs to me screaming and the bed being all wet. And I would have to go lay down in her bed.
All right, here's mine. That's a strat. I mean... These are all involving Maverick, so Maverick, you cannot answer. Oh, see, you can't be mad for me doing that to you. Maverick told me... Is these all about me? They're all Maverick told me's. Okay. So, which one of these Maverick told me? This is insane. One is true. Two are a lie. Maverick told me... I think Maverick just farted. This is good. I like where you're going with this. I mean, you didn't do two truths and a lie either. I did...
One's true. Oh, no, mine's two truths and one lie. Oh, man, you are so right, Kinsey. I even mixed up the game. It sounded like it should be that way. For some reason, I think one should be true. Okay. Well, one of these are true. The other two are lies. Maverick told me not to date Kate. Okay. Maverick told me Kinsey wasn't his type. Maverick told me Harper will never find a boyfriend. Oh. I know the truth.
Yeah, which one you think is true are you sure all three aren't true Maverick told me not today Kinsey or wait Maverick told me not today Kate
Uh, he said Kinsey wasn't his type and he said Harper will never find a boyfriend. Which one is true? Dude, I feel like mine's kind of true because it's kind of also very true. I will never find a boyfriend. So which one you think yours is true? Yeah. Kate, what do you think? Uh, I also think Harper's is true just because I know he didn't say don't date Kate. I know he was telling Cash that he should date me. Okay, Kinsey, what do you think? I think he said don't date Kate.
Who's telling Cash to date me? Oh wait, then what's true? Wow, Kinsey got it right again. All of them are right. That is crazy. What did she get right? Maverick told me not to date Kate. No way. That's crazy. When? He did. When? Matt, explain yourself. Um...
Can I get a recall on when this was? What? When did I say this? Well, how did you know it was correct? Probably, yeah. Well, because it sounds like something I said. What? Before we started dating. He told me not to date you. That's crazy. You literally were saying that the weekend before we started dating, he was saying you should date Kate. No, but at some point, he told me not to date you. Because he probably got mad at you. Some point in my life. I'm not saying it was like the week before. I think when we were in LA, I think I did tell him. Like many times, I said like,
I remember saying you should either date her or cut her off. Yeah, and then you kept telling me not to date her and to break up with her. I don't remember ever saying that. Or not break up with her because I wasn't with her. But you were telling me not to date her. Yeah, once you guys started dating, I never said... No, I didn't say it was when we started dating. But you told me not to date her because you... If it helps, Kate, he thought you were too good for me. Okay? He was like, you just keep leading her on. Don't date her. Just cut her loose.
Dude, that's insane, dude. Is this true? I remember telling him to cut you loose many, many times. I said, I remember many, many times. I'm hurt. I'm very hurt. That's what I mean. Hurt? What do you mean? Matt was saying not to date me.
you gotta understand he was treating you like a piece of trash well if it was for my sake i'm very flattered that you were well it was me and the other guys in the house all agreed we all said yeah you're a horrible person for what you're doing yeah and i had to nod along and be like i am but i'm gonna keep doing it i'm gonna go call kate yeah i'm gonna do something about that he'd leave in a couple months later we'd be like so what's going on same situation all right kate your turn okay
Well, mine is two truths and one lie. Oh, I'm mixing it up, I see. No, I'm playing the game the correct way. Okay. So switch it?
What? No, no. I really like two lies and one truth. I do too, but now we got to find the lie. Okay. All right. Yeah, you right. I cried every day for four months straight in high school. True. Everyone believes that. I'm allergic to Stella and I never told you guys. Wait, wait, wait. How do you know that? That's true. I'm allergic to Stella too. I secretly am sad to move out, but I feel like I can't tell you because I've said so much about living alone. I know which one it is right off rip. Can I answer? What do you think? No, I know which one it is. Which one?
You want me to answer right now? She's secretly sad to move out is a true one. And the lie is... It's two truths and one lie. So two of them are true. So the lie is... Can you repeat the first one? I think the lie is that you... I'm going last because I know... The first one is I cried every day for four months straight in high school. Cried every day. The Lord of Justella, sad to move out.
I think that she is allergic to Stella, but she's made it very clear she's allergic to dogs. So it's kind of like a false dichotomy in that sentence. So I don't think that's going to work. I think the lie is you cried every day for four months. There's no way you have that much tears built up in yourself. Four months every day is a lie. I can't imagine you crying every day. Like four months. That's like so many days. I think it's like a, just like, what's that called? Like an analogy or something. I think it's just like a. So she's not being literal. No. Are you being literal? No.
What do you think? What do you mean, what do you think? We're asking you a question. I was being literal. Every day for four months. Okay, that's a lie.
That has to be the lie. I mean, that throws me off. I'm with Harper. I don't know if that's physically possible. Yeah, that's not physically possible. But then again, I did put her through a lot. You know. I don't think she's actually sad to move out. I think that's the lie. I think that has to be the truth. I mean, there's no way it can't be. Okay, so what's the lie, Kenzie? I think the lie is that she's sad to move out. Mav? I mean, we all know she's allergic to Stella, so being secretly allergic to Stella wouldn't make any sense. So I'm going to say that's the lie. I think the crying.
it's a lie okay do you want me to tell you guys now yeah wait what's cash's yeah what was your answer well this whole time i was thinking what the truth is again and i was like the truth is she's allergic to stella this whole game messes me up i know she is allergic to stella and i'm with you mav she has made it clear but i think in kate's mind i think in kate's mind she hasn't made it clear oh so i don't know how that could have happened so i think that's one of her truths
um and then i think the other truth is that she cried and i'm with kids i think the lie is that you're sad to move you're not sad to move out okay let's hear it the truth is the the wait the lie is the crying in high school i didn't cry every single day knew it i cried a lot okay it'd be a lie on a technicality is like yeah i mean that's kind of crazy remember i had like a chart of like every day i cried because i was trying not to cry every day you don't remember that
That's so sad. Yeah. That was that sad? I did. I had like... I don't know if that's pick me or sad or what that is. No, I'm being serious. Sorry for that. Dude, it's a good thing I adopted Honey for you. They'd have been like, no. We've seen her record. She cries a lot. Okay, also...
Y'all knew I was allergic to Stella? Was it in the notes? See, I told you. No, no, okay, not like, oh, achoo, every once in a while. Lately, I, like, I thought I was going crazy, but then I just realized if she, like, brushes up against my bare skin, I, like, break out in hives. So I purposely, I pet her with the top of my hand. I knew she thought she was being, like, secretive, like, oh, no one knows I'm allergic. But then all of a sudden she walks out of the house and she's like, I'm allergic to Stella. I've never said it out loud!
How did he know I think cuz I did something that she's touching in the back a lot of people have told me Yeah, no yeah, I don't know I know but also because my parents dog is like short haired like Stella I'm allergic to that one too if she like touches me like break must be dumb short hair dog Yeah, you must not like them short hairs. Yeah, I don't know how honey doesn't make she might make me a little sneeze She's not even very short hair. She's got a long hair. All right, Kenzie. What's yours?
What did you- you cut that dog's hair so bad. What do you mean, honey? That dog does not look good right now. I took her hair. No, every time you get Honey a haircut, that thing gains five years. I really want to bring her up here so everyone can see how just- She looks happy, and then Kate gives her a haircut, and she looks like- No, she's- You can't tell me that dog doesn't look ugly right now. No. You know what she looks like? No, you know what Honey looks like once Kate takes her to the groomers? It looks like, you know when you put something in a vacuum seal bag, then you vacuum it up, and it's like-
That's what she looks like. Yeah, it looks like you put... It really does. She gets like wrinkles and she's like... It looks like you put an old person in a shrink wrap bag. No, no, no. It looks like... You know in Hotel Transylvania when the people with the heads outside the doors and they're like talking? That's... Okay, y'all don't know that. Yeah, no one knows that. It's okay. All right, Kinsey, what's yours? Justice for Honey. Are you kidding me? We need honey up here.
up here no her hair it definitely makes her gain some ages no she gets so hot if her hair is too long so i have to keep it cut she looks like she's shrinking it's like 60 degrees outside she's been panting so much lately sometimes panting is a sign of happiness now she cold
Honey's like panting trying to keep her blood levels high so she doesn't freeze to death. Wait, can I show you what I almost bought her today? It's the middle of January and Kate's like, my shaver. Alex, can you do it with the dog?
Wait, wait. I want to show you what I almost bought her today. Look, we were in the store. Wait. You brought Honey in the store? At Petco. Oh, she was freaking out. Where she gets the groomers. She hates that. Oh, you take her to the Petco's where she gets groomed? Yeah, but look. I almost bought her. Here, I'll set this so it'll pop up on the screen. That's why she look ugly. But wait. Wait for it. Aha. What the? Oh, did you shroom before that? Let me see. What is it?
That does not look like what it's supposed to be. She almost bought her bunny ears. But it looks like alien eyes. Look. I'll send it so it should be popped up on the screen. I'm scared. Just wait. Just wait. Oh, my God. That's ridiculous. That's an ugly looking dog, man. Rabid Raymond. Rabid Raymond. Y'all remember that bunny game? Oh, my gosh. There's a rat. I mean. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Come here.
She looks so old. I'm a little chunk. Can you sit? Sit. This is it. She looks like this bunny. Do you remember this game, Cash? With the plunger? Oh, yes. She looks like this bunny. I do remember that bunny. That's literally Honey. That is Honey. Dude, Honey ran off. Look at the dog on the cover of the game.
That's her. That's a dog? Dude, did y'all ever play that game? And the no teeth and everything? That game was pretty fun. The no teeth? Alright, Kinsey, what's yours? Alright, I also played the game correctly and got two truths and one lie. I feel like people are probably just like, oh, Kate and Kinsey are so unfun. Whatever. Because y'all did this game so good. Because we did it the correct way and everyone's like, what losers? Have a little fun in life.
Be a little rebel-ish. I feel like that's how people have to view us over here. Just like have some fun in life. Come on. Okay. I was once milking a goat. Once milking a goat. You can't make this up. Or can you? Is it a lie? Oh my god. Keep going. Dude, I thought we grew up in the country until I met Kenzie, dude. She's like, I was once milking a goat down in the woods. Then the udder fell right off. Oh, that's crazy. Oh my god. Imagine. Please.
Imagine you broke an egg yolk and you just pull off the udder. Oh man. And then a bunch of milk starts spilling out. Ew! You probably wouldn't even be able to utter any words. Hilarious. I just got it. That was crazy. You're telling me you wouldn't try to pull the udder one off?
Okay, back to me. Are you guys sleeping as hard as we are at home right now? I don't know, but I do late. We're getting delusional. Are y'all like giggling in your bed with us right now? Oh my gosh. Okay. Okay. I was once smoking a goat at my friend's house.
You milked it. I think we milked it for all it's worth. Okay, all right. We're done with all that. Anyways, I was milking this goat and it had its rope like harnessed onto its face and the rope went behind my kneecap.
kneecaps right here. So this is the truth. Okay, but anyways, the goat got mad at me and took off and the rope like slashed behind my knees and like gave me rope burn and I got so mad I like yanked that thing and it passed out. Okay, so there's the truth. There's the truth. Why'd you try to kill the goats?
Is that necessary? Okay. And the next one is... She thought a tornado was coming. I mean, the goat was probably not happy with what you were doing down there. She thought a tornado was coming. She was like, no! I can break into any front door using only a credit card as long as it doesn't have a deadbolt. I can do that too. Doesn't like every front door has a deadbolt? Nope. I mean, yeah, I think they do. Yeah, I think like every...
I know. No, that's not a deadbolt. That's not a deadbolt. The deadbolt is like... It's our front door. You know our little thingy? Yeah. You put the button on? That's a deadbolt. That's a deadbolt. Oh, I really had no idea. Right. Now everybody knows I can get into our house. No, no, no. You can't get into a deadbolt. Oh. You'd have to like... Oh my gosh. Kate is so far behind. Okay. And then the other one is...
My family and I, there's six people in my family, we lived in an RV for a whole year, and then we lived in a hotel room, just one hotel room, for six months. Okay, that one's a lie. No, I think that's the truth. No, but there's two truths and one lie, so that one's a lie. I know what the answer is. No, that's a truth, and the other truth is the- Maddie, you can go last. The other truth is the ghost. No, no, okay, Kate, just say what the lie is. What was the middle one?
The credit card. Oh, that's the lie. I'm going to say the lie is the goat. I'm going to say the lie is the last one. The RV thing. The RV and hotel. Matt, what do you think? The lie is the goat. Yep, that's what I think. Okay. It was too specific. She tried to sell it too much. Unless she's trying to get off on a technicality like we were in the hotel room for actually five months. So let's hear it. All right, what was it?
The goat was partially a lie. I didn't make it pass out, but I did get in a fight with a goat because it slashed my legs with the rope. So is that the lie? Yes, that's the lie. Oh, okay. Yeah, see, I knew. She made it way too detailed. Yeah. Yeah. Tried to sell it. It was a real story. Well, all the details were real until the end when I made it pass out. That part wasn't real. So you still told like half the truth? Half the truth. So it was two and a half truths and a half lies? Dude, these people don't understand the game. Kate was like, I mean, I cried.
28 days out of the 29, but it wasn't every day. So that's my lie. I'm sorry. But Hey, I made you laugh. Cause you talked about others. I mean, like I've never played disc golf in my life and I got you to believe it. Yeah. That was my life. I immediately knew that was a lie. That's not a good quality to have. Did you know that? You,
I'm not even gonna lie. Yeah, because I've seen you throw the frisbee for Stella. It took you forever to get good at. Sorry, you go. No, continue about Costa Rica. Well, yeah, in Costa Rica, we were milking cows and there's a guy named Chandler. I'm sorry. What? That's what you do on vacation? Yes, we were milking cows in Costa Rica. You can't wait to go on vacation and milk some cows. Bro, Kinsey would love vacation with you. I love this excursion. I didn't know goats had udders. Is that really true? Yeah. How do you think they get goat milk? No.
Have y'all ever drank goat milk? No. I have goat cheese in the fridge downstairs. Once I made goat cheese, you gotta shake it a lot. No, you didn't. Yeah, we did. At Pioneer Camp? Yes. Pioneer Camp for y'all was like band camp. This one time at Pioneer Camp? Yeah, Pioneer Camp was like a staple in your childhood. Dude, I love Pioneer Camp. That was a whole bunch. Yeah, Pioneer Camp, we made goat cheese. We made butter.
Goat butter. That's probably what it was. Yes, it was goat butter. And I don't know if it was goat, but I remember making butter. And let me tell you, that stuff took a while to churn. I felt bad for them ladies back in the 1600s. Just churned butter. That was horrible. There had to be a more correct way. No, and then, what's it called? So we were milking the cows. Laughing at that with her was crazy. Yeah.
I'm lost. Wait, why are y'all laughing so hard? Nothing. They're laughing for a reason that they shouldn't be laughing at. That's messed up. Okay, well, we were milking the cows and this guy named Chandler was pulling the udders off. Stop it. I'm trying to listen to the udder story, please. I'm sorry.
He was pulling the udders off the cow. He was like... Yeah, okay. The udders almost came off. What? And the cow kept kicking. Dude, I feel like milking a cow is so cruel. It's not. I'm pretty sure it feels good for the cow or something. I don't really know. What? I don't think it feels good. No, I think it does. I think if you don't milk them, I think they get hurt. No, they get clogged up.
See, they get clogged udders. I told you their udders get clogged. Especially if they're lactose intolerant. Wait, does it come out like pus if it's clogged? I don't know. I do know that if you don't milk them, I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing. But yanking on their udders just seems bad. Why do y'all know so much about cows and their udders? Just imagine the first dude trying to milk a cow. And he's like, I think we could drink that. Yeah, imagine the first dude that was like, watch this.
They were like, whoa. And he was like, I think we can drink it. No, no. There was like an actual technique to doing it. And so you had to like put your fingers down and keep on going and squeeze up. It was so gross. What? No more talking about that. I've never done that actually. It's like you're playing the piano and like squeezing the udder at the same time. Okay. Well, I've never milked a cow. You should try it sometime. Oh, yeah. Maybe I should. And their udder, like when the milk pours in, it gets hard.
What? Okay, anyways. We gotta stop. I don't want to talk about milking cows anymore. We gotta stop. I'm done talking about milking cows. I'm done talking about that. Let's talk about milking goats. Kenzie, please enlighten us. Is it just the same as milking cows? Yeah. Did you ever eat the goat? Whoa. No. You never sacrificed it for the better good? No. Did you ever, as a child, have to kill your food and then eat it? Yes. That day? Same day?
Oh my gosh. Same day is crazy. What do you mean? We did that the same day. I don't remember killing anything and eating it the same day. Remember once we killed a rattlesnake and put it on the fire and ate it? Yeah, but she was like... That was like the same hour. I think hers was more like pick out your dinner. Growing up in the suburbs is just completely different. Yeah. Yeah, you got Grover. My family didn't do that. My best friend growing up lived on a farm. So when I'd go over to her house, her stepdad would be like, all right, go pick out whichever chicken you want. And we'd go pick out chicken...
And let it run around and die. No. You know, we did that once. We'd have to... We had like... I'm not even kidding. There was like a hundred chickens. Wait, wait. You would kill it by shaking it? You take their neck like this. And then... We'll cut this part. You take their neck and then you gotta like pop it off. And then they run around... You ever heard of a headless chicken? No. Oh.
Oh, really? You know what's crazy about purple? They run around headless. Are you kidding me? Are you joking? No, I'm not. You know what's even crazier? Sometimes... So they're in like a dead pile. Okay, don't watch too many details. You're gonna scare her. So they're in a deceased pile, but sometimes...
After like 10 minutes, one of them will just come back to life right now. No, I'm kidding. And they'll just start running around. Sometimes they chase you with no eyeballs. I don't know how they do that. You know how like when a lizard loses its tail, the tail still moves. Say what you want. I don't believe anything. That chicken's alive. No, it's not. Resurrected. I mean, one time I was cooking or I was eating my chicken at KFC and it started moving in my mouth.
Okay, what? I think it's because you were chewing. No, no, no, no. It was not that. It was something else. Like, something started slithering down my throat, and it was disturbing. Okay, well, anyways. Also, one time... Chicken talk? That sounds like a podcast. Welcome to chicken talk. That should be a farming podcast. Welcome to chicken talk. Vince is your host. We talk...
I'm your host. Kenzie would have a podcast called Chicken Talk. Dude, okay, wait, one more thing. In Costa Rica, I couldn't eat anything because when we were at this resort, all the animals that were living on the farm, they were all cooked. Like, actually cooked. Like...
Wait, what? No, they were all, like, gonna get cooked. Wait, wait, you started the conversation with the animals that are living on the farm. Then you said they were cooked. So were they living or were they cooked? Well, they were about to. They were cooked, but they were living. You know what I mean? They were cooked. I was walking past the slaughterhouse like, oh, y'all are so cooked, man. And then later that day, they got cooked. Oh, my gosh. It's so sad.
Okay. Harper, have you ever seen a chicken truck? No. It's so sad. Do they all shake their heads and put them in the truck? No, it's like an 18-wheeler, but filled with chickens. Live chickens? Yeah, and they're all squished in their little boxes. That's so sad. Yeah, I'm not going to lie. Farming like that is... Some people are messed up with that. Yeah, that's why you buy Vital Farms eggs. What the hell?
They do taste good. Well, they take care of their chickens. Wait, wait, wait. Do they kill the chickens? Maybe they do. No, I did research. They do. They do. They what? They take care of their chickens. Oh, do they? Did you know that every single factory farming place that has eggs, there's going to be chickens that... That get killed? No, there's going to be laying hens that lay live chickens. No way. And those hens just get killed. They don't even get a chance to grow. They just get killed. No. Because it's not a real egg. Well.
Well, you know, sometimes you lose something. I still can't believe Kinsey squirted eggs. I heard that. I don't know if it's true. I still can't believe Kinsey squirted eggs out of a... Oh, let me tell you what happened. So there was this chicken snake in the guinea. Chicken snake? Wait. Chicken snake. I'm sorry. What?
What's a chicken? Is it a snake or is it a chicken? It's like a rat snake, but a chicken. No, they call them chicken snakes because they get in the chicken pens. Oh, so a snake that likes to eat chicken? Yes. It's a rat snake. Okay. Okay, but why did you squeeze the eggs out of it? Because I was messed up a little kid. Oh my gosh. This snake was in the guinea pen. How old were you?
So me and my friend
friend when we went to the hoe. I got a snake! Chicken snake! Chicken snake! You are joking, but we really did. We took the hoe and we cut the head off of the snake and then we like, I don't know why. I got it! I got it! And then we squeezed his body and there were live little guineas in there. Guinea? No, guineas, it's a bird. It's a type of chicken.
A bird? It's not really a chicken, but it is kind of. It is like a chicken. You squeezed the chicken or the snake? Yeah, I'm confused, too. No, the guineas were inside the snake. What is a guinea? How did a guinea come into play? Listen! A guinea looks like a chicken. Oh, wait, but why is a chicken looking like a snake? Because the snake ate the guinea eggs. Okay, that makes more sense. And so then I squeezed the snake. So you killed it, and then you squeezed all the eggs out so they could be free. Yes, and then we shoved a stick in it. Oh, my God! Yo, what? It's okay.
We're done. That's that. Wait, no. She's got to finish now. That's like animal abuse or something. It's a snake.
Okay, yeah, they don't really deserve loyalty. That's next in that sounds pretty bad You sure did that was crazy I understand. I would hate if I came home and Kinsey was like I got your snake on stick I know I had to care before you. I had a chicken snake on stick before. I'd be like that was a- You had a guinea on steak? Kinsey that was a $1,400 snake Wait, why'd you put it on a stick? Why did you shove it on a- I was a messed up little kid
You were 12. Yo, that's all right. Anytime I saw a snake in the woods when we were kids, I'd kill it immediately. I do not like snakes. They... All the rattlesnakes... He says that, but sometimes he'd take off running. He wouldn't even be close to that snake. Listen, if it was a rat snake, I wouldn't really care. But the snakes that are poisonous, you don't need to be in my woods. Okay.
That's not a risk I'm willing to take. You don't need to be in my woods. I'll kill you because I'm not trying to die by you. We almost died once by snakes. Remember one time? We were in a snake pit. One time we went to our friend's house and we went down in his creek and I'm not even kidding. We were like, frick. And we look around, there's rattlesnakes everywhere.
Everywhere. Are you kidding? Water moccasins and rattlesnakes. I mean, there was probably a hundred within like a hundred feet of us. Like all around us, like circled. We were like, frick. My mom, she grew up on like the Louisiana border. Still in Texas, but on the border of Louisiana. And they have a lot of like super like mossy, gross, like bayou areas, you know? And they went tubing on the lake. But like on the edges of the lake, it gets really like mossy. Snakey. Yeah, and snakey.
And one of their parents had told them several times, "Do not get the boat close to the banks because there's snakes and alligators."
And they didn't listen, and they were tubing, and they threw their friend off, and he skidded towards the bank, and he landed in a water moth's nest. And so there's hundreds of snakes in these nests that are barely... Yes, there are. No, that's not okay. I'll call my mom right now. He said it's not okay. And she said that there's like four or five of them on the boat, and all they can hear is just him screaming.
And he dies. What? Oh my gosh. What? He died? Yeah. Okay. I shouldn't be laughing. What the heck? No, he died. Are you kidding? That is not the kind of stories we tell on this podcast. No, that was really out of pocket. Okay, that was.
Well, it's crazy. You gotta be careful around snakes. That's why I chopped their head off. He died? That's exactly why I killed them all. How old was he? I think they were like 15 or 16. Yeah, poisonous snakes, they should be extinct for all I care. So, wait, hold on. Did he die from the poison? Yeah. Okay, okay. He got bit so many times. My dad got bit by a copperhead and had to be rushed to the hospital. It was like five years ago. Oh. And, yeah, my dad... So, me, my sister, and my...
Did he survive? Yeah, he's... What? Yeah, no. I don't know. Mom could be married or something. Me and my friend and our family friend, Audrey, were in the hot tub. And my mom starts screaming, she's like, get the clothes. We're like, what? The clothes? So we run upstairs. My sister grabs my whole drawer. And she's running down the stairs with my drawer. And then...
I thought you meant grabbed all the clothes out of the drawer. No, no, she grabbed the drawer. And it's a drawer like this big. So she's like trying to get through these waves and she gets hit in the side so she has to go through this. But no, so she finally gets... That's crazy. And tell me what that had to do with your dad getting bit by a snake. He's big. Get the clothes in. Someone grab WD-40. It's because they had swimsuits on. They had to get dressed.
If I'm bit by a snake, I don't care what attire you are in. Get me to the hospital now. Leave the drawer behind. I want to know what the entire drawer is. My mom was like, get the clothes. She doesn't even tell us that my dad got bit by a snake. So my dad's outside laying in the front yard. So she's running upstairs to get the clothes. Runs downstairs to the drawer.
And then we go outside. She's like, Estes got bit by a snake. Oh, Estes. No, no, no. It wasn't Estes. She was just like hyperventilating. So she's like, Estes got bit by a snake. But Estes was like right next to us standing in front of my eyes. I'm not cooked. Dad's cooked. What do you mean? So my mom gets in her car. She's like, put the drawer in my car. So she puts it. And by the way, this is just a side mission. You're asking.
And by the way, we have to get the drawer so we can get the key. By the way, we're all soaking wet from the hot tub. So we all get in the car and my mom starts driving after the ambulance that she called while my dad's like rolling in the front yard with his hand. And so the ambulance comes. Wait, she left your dad? Yes, because she wanted to find the ambulance quicker. Wait, wait, wait. So your dad's the one cutting your mom's trouble without him? With the drawer. But she made sure to get the drawer.
I have serious questions for you guys right now. Are you sure you're telling this story right? I swear. This doesn't make any sense. No, it's a fever dream. Like, this is a fever dream. So then the ambulance gets to our house, and then we go to our Mormon family neighbors, and they're the sweetest people ever. Do they take care of snake eyes? Yeah, why not?
Why are you going over there now? My mom shoved this into her house. And so we interrupt their break. Get the Mormon family. All right.
It's gonna be okay. All right. Now we'll go get an ambulance. You stay here. Because you're a cook. So, my dad... So, finally, my dad's in the ambulance. My mom is rushing after the ambulance, which is illegal, by the way. And so, she gets a ticket. But... She got a ticket? Yeah. You can't speed after an ambulance or, like, follow them. So...
after she does that we are at the mormon family's house it's me my sister and audrey and we're all just sitting there and um enjoying their it was a sunday so we barged in on their family sunday mormon dinner or lunch or whatever and i'm pretty sure that's a big deal like you know like you should have like fun like you know like lunches with you don't get bit by a snake on sunday yeah exactly but no it's like like like sunday is like god's day so we barged in
on their lunch. And then they started telling us a story about how they got bit by scorpions in bed once. Oh, gosh. So, okay. So, when did your dad get in the ambulance? Oh, yeah. The ambulance just drove by him and said, that sucks. They were like, here's your ticket and we'll be on our way. Yeah.
My dad got in the ambulance and then his arms started swelling up. And if he was allergic to the venom, then he would have died because copperheads are extremely poisonous. Oh, yeah. Dude, I was watching this TikTok and there's like this Florida guy and he was out like in the Florida Everglades in the swamp. I've seen that. And he was like, this is one of the world's most poisonous snakes. And then he gets bit by it. He got bit by it and he was like.
Oh, I'm cooked. He literally was saying that. His buddy was standing right over him. His buddy was like literally frozen because he just got bit by his buddy. He was like, what are we doing? No, I'm not even kidding. He just kept filming. He was like, I'm so cooked. He flips the camera around. He's like, oh, I'm so cooked. And then he turns around to his buddy and his buddy's like, and he's like, oh, I'm cooked. Post-State Dog is on a call in 911. He just kept saying that. Because he knew he was. I don't think he lived. I don't know.
I don't know. He just kept saying, I'm cooked. I feel like that would be Alex in a dire situation. And his buddy was just staring like, what do we do? He was just like, it's over, man. So all he says, I'm so cooked, instead of calling 911. Oh my God. He's like, we don't even got the drawer. You know what your mom was saying? She's getting in the car. You're like, she's like, your dad's cooked. Wait, okay. Why did your mom say get the drawer? Because she thought that we were going to be at the hospital for a while. So she was like, get the drawer. What? Like for clothes. Ew.
Just like we're close, but my sister only grabbed my shorts drawer. She's like, get the drawer. So yeah, she grabbed the drawer and she gets like, get the drawer. I need to see what these underwear look like with the,
Whoa, whoa! You are not seeing my underwear, Kinsey. I went to Google them. I didn't know it was a real thing. Alright, well, thank you guys so much for watching this episode. We'll see you guys next time, and we'll go get the drawer.