Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Guys, I have the worst story in the world. Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim anymore.
a few shop low prices for school at amazon hopefully this is helpful amazon spend less smile more um i mean this guy i've been talking ever since i moved on from you know who i'm not gonna talk about him because he thinks he's all that got the drama yeah but um what's it called what are you saying no but what's it called like literally it's so bad like we've been talking for like
While like two months maybe you've been talking to this guy for two months. Wait a second Were you talking to this guy while you're still talking to the other guy? Yes, no, but wait You like you actually like a guy kind of he's a little musty. He's really long nails that are yellow Why would you I don't know it's you think you're gonna fix him is that your plan it's disgusting like I don't know wait So why do you like this guy?
Because, I mean, he's the only guy left in my school and I have to have a boyfriend or else people will think I'm weird. Okay, so is he your boyfriend? Yeah. Yeah? That's crazy, guys. Harper has a boyfriend. Harper got a boyfriend. No, the thing is, his...
Okay, it's like he asked me... He asked me like a week ago. And I was like... Wait, how did he ask you? He was like, will you be my girlfriend? Like, I was like, sure. He just straight up said, hey, Harper, will you be my girlfriend? Yes. I was like, sure, sure, whatever. Was that awkward? Yeah, and so... I mean, yeah, a little bit. But like, I like...
I was like, whatever. Sure. I don't care. It probably won't last for long. But he's like, Harper, like, I kind of want to, like, go on your podcast. And I was like, oh, I don't know. I don't think Cash and Mav and Kate will like that. And they were like...
I wouldn't care if you're a boy. I want your boyfriend to come on the pod. He's really weird, though. He wears these weird sunglasses. Why are you dating this guy? All you said is negative things. I got a boyfriend. He's horrible and disgusting. No, he just spits when he talks and stuff. It's just disgusting. I do that sometimes. He's a poor guy. If he watches this episode, he's breaking up with you. Also, I don't think I could ever kiss him. That's the thing. He's just disgusting. I haven't even held hands with him because of his nails. Does he have masculine features?
He looks like a noodle. In the nicest way possible. That was crazy. He looks like the piece of hair on Cash's hat. Which is mine. My hair extensions? Yes. And so, like, I don't know how to... I don't know what to do, guys. Like, I don't want to... I don't know if I should break up with him or not. I thought I should maybe, like, bring him on the podcast if that's fine with y'all. So I, like, gave him Kyle's address. Oh. Oh, he's here? Oh, he's here right now? Yeah. Bring him on! Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Oh! Oh!
Kyle, no. Kyle, sit down. I'll sit right here this time since my little boo thangs in my normal seat.
Kyle's such a where's my hug at kind of guy. Kyle's your boyfriend? Kyle's the where's my hug at in the... Kyle's your boyfriend? What's wrong with the little game of peekaboo? Kyle from the LOL Bros podcast. Go subscribe to LOL Bros if you haven't already. Kyle has already been on our podcast. When? Yeah, he's on our podcast. You know, the one you're not involved in.
Because Harper doesn't want to show up on those days. Sure. So we had to make a whole new podcast called LOL Bros. Maybe because I have a life with rumors spread around me. Rumors? Who spread rumors about my baby girl? Can you please take those glasses off? No, bro. What? Please just don't talk. It's just... Yes, brother.
Tuesday. That's so not how you do it, but it's okay. Yes, brother. Tuesday. I still can't believe Kyle's the boyfriend. That is not even close to accurate of what you're supposed to do. Why are you being rude to my ugly boyfriend? Is this how you treat my girl when I'm not around? Yeah. I haven't even talked to her. Yeah. I don't know. From what I've seen, you've been pretty freaking rude. He seemingly does live in this basement. I've been rude?
Yeah. You want to know what your girl said? What my girl said? She said you have long yellow nails. Let's see them. Oh, she's right. Oh, you weren't lying. Oh, my gosh. Your nails look like McDonald's french fries. Well, you know what? You're going to have to take those to the doctor to get off. I hope you got some AT&T Hitchell ass.
My girl won't give me my own. She won't give me head scratches. So I had to grow mine out to give myself head scratches. Why wouldn't you scratch her head? Because last time he said her. His head. I'm tired of this. This one.
pronouncing it. Yeah, this one, dude, Maverick always gets Kyle's pronouns wrong and it's just so messed up. It's just ridiculous habit, you know? Last time Kyle, he like shook his head down and a bunch of oil like spilled out. Oh, lice. It's called lice. No, but he got, it wasn't, well, a little different lice were coming out for seasoning on his chicken wing. Whoa. But he like put his chicken wing. Wait, wait, did anybody understand that sentence? So he used his lice for seasoning? No, no, no. He's over there with the chicken. And I don't see
You know what's wrong with it? Do you know what lice is? Do y'all know what lice is? You want some? Anybody got salt? Yeah, here you go. Y'all know what lice is? Bugs. You know what bugs are? Protein. I probably got the highest protein intake in the room. I need more protein than all y'all put together. Yeah. You a gym bro, Kyle? It's just a freaking lute leaf. Do a push-up. Do 10 push-ups, Kyle.
I ain't gotta prove myself to some wimpy boys. I'm not proving myself, bro. Wow. Only baby boys need their friends to do push-ups to prove it. Kyle, you got a real masculine man there. Guys, can y'all gleek? Yeah, Kate can. I wish she was here to show us. We've already gleeked on this show. No. Yes, we have. What? Can you please tell me what gleeking is? It's when you go like...
Can you do it? Kyle? Kyle's gonna do it. My gosh, I think Kyle! What just happened? That's like a water gun! Oh my goodness! That's not leaking! Ow! What are you talking about? Kyle! Kyle, that's not leaking! Put it away! Stop it! We're gonna have to mop the floor! Active shooter! Active shooter! No, I can actually leak without putting water in my mouth. Ready? Ready? Ready? Wait, wait, wait. Do it again, Kate. Do it again, Kate.
Do it again, Kyle. Names sound the same. I don't think we can say that. I don't think we can say that. We can do that. Cash, get up. It's good. It's safe. But he's still there. Cash, move. Get out of here. Why does he do that to himself? Oh.
Oh, what is this for? No, it's still there. I'm not getting any more. Oh my goodness. I came out of nowhere. Oh, Kyle's coming at you. All right, guys. Right now, Cash and Kyle are arguing while Cash is trying to do something to Harper.
If you're listening, Cash is now pouring water on Harper. This is for getting me, Harper. Kyle's doing nothing. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Harper's soaked right now. I will protect you. Kyle is acting funny. Cash is soaked. Give me that. No, no, not the jellyfish. I'm soaking wet. Kyle, why wouldn't you help me? Kyle, why didn't you help her? Oh, my seat's wet.
It's wet. I tried to help. This man abused me. Yeah, right. Yeah, I'm stronger. You wimpy boy. I don't like it. Whoa. Whoa. I just sat there. My hair is wet. For those of you listening, an all-out war just came out. But we're all resolved now. Honestly, we're all friends. Yeah.
- She looks like she just went to the water park. - Harper just got off the slide. - She did the log ride. She just got off. - It does look like you did the log ride. Look at her shirt. - Oh! - It's like when you're at Six Flags and you go on the one ride that's the wet one and then you're walking out after you're like-- - Also, my boyfriend has like a strawberry phone case. - Can you just stop? I literally do not. - Guys, it might not look like I'm soaking wet because my shirt's black, but this thing is soaked. - Well, you know what?
My socks are wet. How long does hair this long take to dry? I personally wouldn't know. I've never had hair long before like that. Yeah. You don't have long hair? Your beard's about as long as this thing. Yep. Your beard looks more like a bad tattoo. What? Does that even mean?
It means it looks like a bad tattoo. I was going to say, what? Listen. It means he likes it like a tattoo. Well, I will have y'all know, I literally, literally shaved this morning. So it grows back that fast because the lice stimulate his blood circulation. No, because I'm a real man. It has something to do with the lice for sure. Yeah. Also, active shooter drills.
That is crazy because you cannot get under there. We're going to have to bleep that word every time. What do you mean? They say that in school. You have to do active shooter drills. No, it's called lockdown. Yeah, lockdown drills. Yeah, but they say in case of an active... That's like the correct... I'm using the correct term. Well, I don't like that word. No, no shooting. But no, if they say to get under chairs and desks... Oh, is that tornado? Tornado.
Tornado, so what are you doing an active shooter tornado? You're saying it what? You turn on the lights and lock the doors. I'm not doing that baby who locked the door into a no stop that I didn't do nothing hey Kyle now that I have water activated I can leak ready stop it Seriously, no, I didn't see nothing. Oh beat you up. I didn't see anything. Oh
Oh, stop it. Hey, Kyle. Yeah, that's my name. Don't listen. Listen, listen. I mean, I already not a big fan of you. I'll be honest. But why? Listen, despite our differences, me and Cash, we need to know if you're good enough to date. Date our co-host. Yeah. What do you need to know about me? I want to know what you do for work.
Yeah. I am a host. What do you do as a job? I'm a host on some big podcasts. What's the name? LOL Bros. You're not a host. That podcast is not big, but you guys should go subscribe so it can be big one day. And you're also not a host. Link in the description. LOL Bros. Have I been on the podcast before? You just showed up. I'm still waiting for my check from those episodes, actually. No one invited you. You were just there. Also, note.
No checks are coming in because we're not getting enough views. So you guys should go subscribe. That's the LLBros podcast link in the description. If you want to bet, just leave it on autoplay. Everybody, please. Just autoplay it and leave it on. You can leave this video playing while you go subscribe to our other podcast because we need subscribers. Oh, God. That's really bad. What's bad? You only have 26.1K. Oh, our subs? Excuse me? Yeah. Yeah, we're only at 26,000 subscribers. Yeah, I saw how well your recent YouTube video did. Let me see. Oh!
- Uh oh. - Don't disrespect. - He said you fell off. - It got 313 on like 100 dares in 24 hours, which is the one that you were in. - Oh, she is kinda right. - But anyways, anyways. - Open that back up, let me see them views.
let me see the one the one that i made my own self she know how to do it where'd she know how to work youtube unlike you fools oh yeah yeah there it is and you see me personally i was actually thinking about starting my own youtube channel and my only dilemma and i need you guys to listen to me please my only dilemma and nobody is listening to me listen to my boyfriend
Okay, well, I was going to ask permission, but now I'm just not going to ask permission. Wait, what do you want permission for? Well, see, I was going to start my own YouTube channel. That's so crazy. Kyle is what it would be called. Just Kyle? Just Kyle. That's even better. Just Kyle. Oh, the name is Just Kyle. Great. So I was thinking of starting my own YouTube channel. My dilemma. I don't know how to do that. So I was thinking of you guys to help me.
Was thinking you guys could make my channel give me video ideas produce the videos for me and post them for me So what do you have to do do whatever y'all need me to do so I can get a paycheck from YouTube Have you ever heard of a job that's what I'm trying to get is a YouTube job door once me Maddox start dating I won't be falling off will I? Are you?
just joking. Whoa, that's crazy to say right in front of your boyfriend. That's wild. You know what? Honestly, I'm done. Honestly. Wait, are y'all breaking up right now? I'm tired. I say they gotta fight before they break up. I'm tired of the disrespect. You were the one that got with me. Like, you were the one who was like... Well, I had to get on this podcast somehow.
They were barely letting me pass on the bros. So you're using me for clout? Just for the record, we've still never invited Kyle on the bros podcast. Just like my old one. And you know who? What? You're using me for clout. I am not. I just wanted to come on the podcast so I could get views. Well, that's kind of the definition. That's kind of what she said. Are you crying? Baby girl. No, it's just the water that you didn't save me from. I tried. I think I could. You want your
What the? You have lashes! Look at the anything I could! Are you? Don't tell me. It wasn't enough. Are you? Why do you have lashes? Why are your nails chasing? Harper, no. That's hilarious, man. What? That was so funny. There's secret science.
That's good. That's gonna make me cry tears of laughter man. Yeah, we'll keep that. It's funny. We'll keep that. Keep that in. That was wild. I'm not laughing over here. I'm not laughing either. My boyfriend's gay. No, stop. That's a fair reason not to laugh. No, no, no. That's a fair reason. We can't roll with this. Everybody stop.
No, I'm kidding but me and Kyle did kiss once upon a time hey It's fine. We did we did what is the cost trying to kiss me right now? Huh
Kyle's looking at cash. Can you sit up, bro? Bro, I'm chilling, dog. I'm like Harper's height now. We fit in frame better. What are you looking at? Kyle, why are you sitting in the water bowl? I feel like y'all's relationship is a little rocky. Ew.
much as me and the other guys oh y'all no wait wait who's everyone over there whose relationship you talking about here uh yours and yours and yours and yours well we're getting played you're dating both of us you're gonna have to make up your mind kyle i'll just pull an eeny meeny miny moe honestly on that
What? Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Whoever it lands on. What the? Oh, no. Matt, not to ever get to talk. I hope that's not scratch. Wait, Kyle is doing eeny, meeny, miny, moe. What? Whoever it lands on gets to be with Kyle. Really? I don't even want to be with you anymore because you spilled the water on me. I hope it lands on you. What makes you think they both want to be with you? I know it, bro. All right, well, do eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Not the zesty. Moe.
Catch a fat chick by her toe. What the? What did you just say? Kyle? Kyle. Oh my goodness. Hey, she looked at you when she said that. No. Y'all ever heard of Justin Bieber? That's it. That's it. Hold on. Hold on. I can't spell anything. I can't spell anything. I can't keep doing this.
So who do you want to be with? Not that. I can't tell if the smell is following- Oh my socks wet now! Go ahead, that's what you deserve. My sock is wet. The smell is also following me. That was a bad one. Alright, finish your eeny meeny miny moe. I don't think I can. I don't think you can either. I don't think anyone can make- I can't breathe. It's hard to talk. He doesn't want to open his mouth. It's hard to talk.
Not gonna lie, the smell is thick. No, I actually can't smell it. Surprise, surprise. All right. Hey. Huh. We've all, uh... Never mind. Well, no, go ahead. No. No, go ahead. Say it. Matt, at worst, we'll bleep it. Matt? I feel like it's...
No, dude. I've been here, Kyle. I've been in your situation where you got to dump one or the other. He's going to say it. What? Say it. Okay. I've been in this situation. Yeah. And you know what? It happened to me. I was in the bathroom. I was actually constipated. What the? And this girl was crying. Yeah. And she's like, hey, like, are you going to be with me? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And...
I had to dump her and I was constipated at the same time. We'll just say it was the hardest dump I ever took. That was a horrible joke.
I'm sorry. I don't think I liked it. I don't think I did. I thought you were going to say your girl was mad at you and you were trying to use the bathroom. She was like, you're either going to use the bathroom or it's me. You had to choose which one you wanted to dump. That would make more sense. There was two girls. I dumped both of them. That one was the hardest dump I ever took. Then I took some of that medicine and I had the easiest dump I ever took. What? I don't know. Wait, what?
I had the easiest stuff when I took medicine, but none of them were girls. Oh, laxatives? Laxatives, yeah. Matt took laxatives. Also. I don't think I like it, but y'all ever heard of Sean Kingston? That's his song I was singing. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a fat chick by her toe.
If she holla, if, if, if she holla, she's indecisive. She can't decide. She keep on moving from left to right. Y'all know that song? No, Mav. No, Mav. Please no, Mav. No. No, Mav's gonna do it. Oh, he's doing it. Oh, he's doing it. I'm so sorry for everybody's ears. Everybody, mute your microphones now. No. Turn that up. Oh, boy. No, actually sing
Oh wait, have you been? Alright, sing Eenie Meenie Moe Catch a Tiger by her toe. She's indecisive, she can't decide. She keep on moving from left to right. Yeah, which song you want? Eenie Meenie Moe Catch a Tiger by his toe. Eenie Meenie, obviously. Shoddy is a Eenie Meenie Moe lover. Shoddy is a Eenie Meenie Moe lover. Shoddy knows it's not cool when she goes to school. You know. Shoddy is a Eenie Meenie Moe lover. I don't encounter any mean.
What are you trying to cover up here, bro? I was just free balling. I was just singing. Let me start from the beginning. Meanie, meanie, miney mo. Catch a fat chick by her toe. If she holla, if she holla, let her go. She's indecisive. She can't decide. She keeps on moving from left to right. I don't know the words after that. Come a bit closer.
We love ya know what come a bit closer come a little closer me in my eyes Look me in that. No you see the next line do it, but me in my eyes No, no, Jeannie so wrong you seem like So give me
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What just happened? I'm gonna explain this to Kate. Wait, I would hate for her to see that. I'm so sorry.
- Oh, yeah, I'm sorry about that. - I don't think it's gonna work out. - You brought your boyfriend on to the episode and then Cass starts faking out with him. I'm so sorry. - I don't think it's gonna work out between us, TBH. - Why? - 'Cause he liked them big lips. - I hope we don't get copyrighted for that. - Y'all think I sounded too close to Sean Kingston?
I think I sounded close to JB and you sounded too close. I think I played it pretty close. We're never playing it before. Harbaugh, why do you act like you don't know that song? I don't. What do you mean? What's the chorus? Shadi is an eeny, meeny, miny, moe lover. No. Shadi is an eeny, meeny, miny, moe lover. I don't know it. You know that song. I came out the year she was born. I don't know it. What? Come a little closer. Come a little closer. Baby, baby. If you
If you be my baby, then I'll make you crazy tonight. What song are you singing? Victoria's. Oh. Yeah. For real now, you're telling me you don't know that song by Justin Bieber? No. That's impossible. Have you ever been to a roller skating rink? Yes. You know what I just realized? And I'm quite concerned about this realization I've come to. Oh, Kyle's realized something. How old are you?
Well, I mean, I told you I was 18, but... No shot! No, but, like, you would go for younger girls, right? No shot! Do you want me to get arrested? Because I can't go back to prison again. You know this. I was very open about my prison record, and you are trying to get me sent back. Okay, how old are you, Kyle? Please, call the cops. Get him sent back. Get him out of here. Hey, he'll stop showing up on the pods. FBI, we got him. Kyle, who have you been with? Me. Oh.
Kyle, is there anyone else Harper should know about? I think the real question is, is there anyone else he should know about? Me? What? And if I'm being open and honest with you, Cash, my good friend, friend and friend only, that's all you are to me. Yeah. There's no one else you should worry about. Pinky promise? Pinky promise. What do you do? What's that? Okay. Pinky promise. I don't trust them. Pinky promise.
Wait, I got something for you. Mev, we can't hear you. I got something for you. What are you whispering about? What are you saying? Listen, so, Harper, you know how you always pick at your skin on the podcast? Yeah, stop it. Stop picking at your skin. You can't help it if you're not fiddling with something. Stop it. One more thing. Guess what? I'm going to get the taser. Hey, I'm going to save you. Where is the taser? Yeah. What's that, a fidget ring? Yeah, it's this thing. Have you played with one? Yes, it's a, I know what it's called. I don't know what it's called. A train wheel.
This is called what? The train wheel. A train wheel? A train wheel? Yes. What is, what? You just made that up. No. No, I have one. Do it. What, the train wheel? Yeah, do it. Wait, y'all both know what this thing is? That's not what you do. You're just crushing it. Come a little closer. How do you do it? Uh, well. Wait, show us how you do it. I do it like this. You just rotate it. What is it? What?
Yeah, but you can do it on the podcast instead of messing up the microphone. Well, it looks like it's some sort of doohickey that they can fidget with. Yeah, I use it a lot. I really like it. I have one at home, actually. Wait, why was that just in your pocket? Because I carry it with me everywhere. I have one. You haven't seen me play with it? Wait, let me see. I have a blue... What the? I have a blue one. He just farted again. Bro, how is that all inside you? Got him! Hey, the microphone! Hey!
I love it when he does that. Do it again. You want me to fart in the microphone again? I don't care what you do. No, don't. Please don't. Look, that's my natural hair when it gets wet. Wait, why is your knees so dark? I self-tanned. Just your knees? You just self-tanned just your knees? No, look. I like a girl with dark knees. You did. You did like a girl with dark knees. Until you cheated on her.
Horrible person. Aren't you married? Me? Yeah. Yeah, I'm married. So what? What about it? What you got to say? Where is she now? She is in a hot tub that Harper pooped in. Yeah. Yeah, you want to tell us about that? Harper told us before the pod, she's like, people were starting rumors that I pooped in a hot tub. I would never start that rumor. And now you're starting
Not me. I wouldn't start that rumor. Wait. Hmm? Wait, yeah. How did this poop rumor start? No, you know what happened? What happened? The same guy I'm always talking about on the podcast started it again. Maddox? No, no, no. We're not going to say. Kyle? We're not even going to say who started it. I'm never going for him, ever. Don't even say who started it. Just tell us. Yeah, I'm not saying it. Tell us about the rumor. I'm waiting. I don't got all day. I was in Broken Bow. Let's just say that. Broken Bow? Yes. Oh, no.
That's too close. They're gonna find Kate. Kate's terrified every time we say a location that she's gonna get kidnapped. But good thing Kate's not here. Look at my natural hair. That's what it looks like when it gets wet. Yeah, you already said that. A little weirdo. Kyle, do you like that? I do. I do like the way it looks on you, Cash. Yeah, talk in your mic. Hey, so basically what I'm saying is we were... Why is there something in my throat? Kyle, did you poison me?
Kyle. I knew that if I told you about my history of poison. Pooping in the hot tub. You would accuse me of everything. You can't poison people anymore. I'm going to poop if you guys don't tell me about the poop story. Okay, okay. So what happened in the hot tub? Right now, don't test me. Okay, fine. So on Broken Belt, there was this thing and we went into the hot tub every night. It was for my friend's birthday. How many is that an episode? Why do you think it's funny? It is funny. No, it's not. Look at you laugh.
I don't find it funny at all. Hey, that's real not funny. That will get someone hurt. Don't do that. Yeah, you'll get someone hurt. I'm going to get pink eye from doing it and getting close to my microphone. Okay, we're going to try for the fourth time. Tell us about the rumor and how it's affected you emotionally. What rumor? The rumor of me pooping in a hot tub. Y'all said poopy? No. No. So basically...
Guys, so basically, for the seventh time... What's wrong with you? I'm going to do it again. No. Before the end of the episode, I will fart on Matt's microphone. If you fart on the microphone, I'm going to kick you so hard. I didn't kick me. I'll punch you. I'll punch you. You're going to kick my butt? You're going to kick my butt? I'll fart as soon as you're going to kick my butt. If he farts, he's going to
I'll mess up the recording on all these cameras. I'll delete the video. I'll delete the whole podcast. I'll break the SD cards. What if we deleted the whole podcast? The whole podcast, yeah. Honestly? Then we'd get more subscribers for LOL Bros. Go subscribe. Link in the description. How about we finish the dang story? Oh, about what? So for the sixth time, pooping in a hot tub. Y'all say pooping? Okay.
Say the story. What happened for the eighth time? This thing is nice. I know. It's a good fidget toy. No, okay. So for the eighth time, there's this rumor of me going in a hot tub and pooping in it. And it's so bad. So me and my friend before... Just don't look. Just look at me. Don't look over there. Hi. She was like this. She was like...
For the night time the um so there's a rumor going around of me pooping in the hot tub and broken both so me and my friend got sprayed hands before we went to we went to broken but because we were gonna be in like I don't know we were gonna be hiking and stuff I thought was gonna post on Instagram, but it wasn't so
You were going to be hiking, so you said, I need a spray tan. Yeah. Yes. Oh, okay. $80 spray tan, guys.
So yeah, I got the spray tan and we went to broken bow once we got there We realized that my spray tan like started shedding off into the hot tub When did you go to a broken bow that right there? Yeah, I see that that that's like the what shut it off. What did you get a broken bow? Without you
that hurts at the start of like was there boys on the trip no god no and so basically so basically the spray tan spread off and then we took a photo of it and all that and then um my friend pranked me that there's a 400 fine and then it kind of spread around the school and now it was like harper proofed in hot tub and then there was um an art class there's a bunch of guys that drew on a cup with a redheaded girl in a hot tub with brown in the hot tub you think it was about you
No, no, I think it was at a random girl that pooped in the hot tub. No, I didn't poop in the hot tub. Like,
What is there else to say like how do we how do we how do we know you're not just blaming it on the spray can I didn't so far all you've convinced me is that you pooped in a hot tub and you don't want us to know about it I did not poop in a hot tub I would not poop in a hot tub Everybody comment in the hashtag everybody comment in the comment section hashtag stop pooping in hot tubs Do you think I really pooped in a hot tub? Hashtag stop pooping in hot tubs comment it down below like
Like, and then... Make it a trending hashtag, please. Harper poops in hot tubs. Kyle, have you ever been in a hot tub with Harper? That she knew about? What? What the? You're just getting that... Why is that one so squeaky? That one wasn't near as loud. I don't know if the audience heard that one. Ew!
No, we do not add the fart effects. The fart effects are 100% real. Try to go as many times as you can. I can't now. I just squeezed it all out. Let's do a streak of how many farts we can do. Ready? That sounded kind of real. Yeah. All right. Your hot tub story? Well, there is no story. Why? That's it. That's a good story. Well, you said, have you ever been in a hot tub with Harper? I asked that she was aware of.
No. What the? Okay, moving on. Care to explain why? There was another rumor going around. Oh, yeah. There's another rumor that I have rabies.
Rabies. Because that would be really scary for me. If you... Yeah, and me. I'm pretty sure if you got rabies, you got it from him. And guess who the rumor's going around by again? No, no, no. It's not me starting it. I don't know. He's obsessed with my life, if you don't know. Maddox is never going to talk to you. He's going to be like, this girl, she's... That's not Maddox.
- Oh my gosh. - No, I'm just saying Maddox is gonna think you're crazy. - Who's Maddox? - No one told him. - No. - It's the rabies. - Who's this guy with a red shirt and a hair? - I'm gonna call Maddox in a minute. I don't have his number, but I'm gonna ask him for it. - What do you mean call Maddox? - I think Maddox should-- - Because if I get this dude on the phone, I don't think I can hold back. I think I'm gonna let it all out. - Okay. - That's pretty weird. - Who has Maddox's number?
Me, I'm a snap. Oh, let me call him. Oh, God. That's crazy. That is Cole Rising. We're actually calling Maddox? Why not? Have you ever called him before, Harper? I've been online with him.
On Instagram? Give me that. I'm just joking. You pooped in the hotel. Give me that. I'm joking. What is that? That looks really good. But you guys look really good. What is that? Give me that. I'm just kidding. I'm going to eat this. Hey, where you at, dog? Hey.
Microphone, man. I can't see your face. Microphone. Microphone. I know. Are y'all on FaceTime? Yeah. Oh, well, turn on the camera, bruh. Bruh. Turn on the phone. With the podcast people. The podcast people. That's all we are. We are the podcast people. The podcast people. That's all we are. The podcast people.
Yeah. Yeah. That's what they are. That's what y'all are. Hey! There you are. I'm screen recording, by the way. Okay, cool. That's all good. Because you're going to be on the podcast. Oh, I just wanted to say hi. What's up? Is it coming on? I appreciate you calling me cute, man. I really do. Oh, you know, I just, I mean, I didn't really call you cute. That would be weird, you know, because you're a child, so I wouldn't do that. I appreciate it.
No, no, no, no, no see I did not do that. That's not what that's not what we said. No, no It's not alright. It's not okay. I didn't do that. You know what? I'm hanging up on you. This is over. I can't. That's so funny. Stop the screen recording. So funny. That guy drove me under the bus like that. He said no it's alright that you called me cute. No it's not alright. Thanks for calling me cute. Cause what was it again? What was it? Hi bud. We'll see you.
Send that screen recording to Alex. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, yeah, guys. If you guys didn't watch our other episode, this is why Maddox is saying Maverick called him cute. Play the clip. Because Maverick did. I didn't call him cute. That's not what happened. You guys just saw the clip. Maverick practically called him cute. Listen to it. Listen to it. Hold on. Hold on. Ma thinks you're cute. Hey, bud.
Never did I say he's cute. You put those words in my mouth. Hey, bud. Yeah, you rode with him. That's so funny. I didn't ride with him. They just happened. I didn't. I don't know. Give me my fidget toy. I like how we call him and he goes, the podcast people. I'm not part of the podcast people. Is that all we are? We're just the podcast people. You're not. You're not part of the podcast. I am. You're not part of the podcast people. Well, when can I be a part of it? I've tried. I've been put in a situation.
I've been putting in the work. I've been staying here all day, all night, waiting for y'all to film so I can be here on time. I can't. That's so funny. That's crazy. Hi, bud. That kid just tried to get me in trouble with the law. That kid just tried to send me to prison. Well, how old is he? 14. Old enough to know better. He's old enough to know he was trying to trap me. I can't contest that 14-year-olds are considered issues of the law. Delete that. Delete that right now, Harper.
Hey, bud. I can't. I don't want to. I'm literally going to prison. Hi, guys. Well, sorry. This is my last episode. I'll be in prison next episode. Bro, I got the hocus. Fix the Maddox. He can replace me because I'm gone. I got people on the inside. You're fine, bro. I promise. Oh, your people will take care of me, Kyle? Good care of my good friend, Maverick, because me and you, we like this.
Best friends forever and ever and ever. What?
No matter what we stick together even in prison when people want to hurt us No, no, no matter what we stick together. I don't know. I just it's an accident. No, I look like a her right now Like genuinely when you look at me, do I look like a she said the dead emoji? That's an egg. I
an egg that is not an egg harper that's an egg you're that's an egg i think i know harper's problem because i didn't know that as you all know i have moved on from our relationship i think we can just be friends now you know i know you're not heartbroken you already moved on too i see it
I predict that your problem is you've just never been around a respectable guy before. Can you predict the 2024 election? Sure can. Who wins? Trump. Hunter. You think? Hunter. Hunter. Want to predict right now? Kyle would say that. No for a fact.
My people on the inside of the White House. Oh, you have people on the inside of the White House. Gotcha. They're rigging things? Obviously. I have insiders on the election working overtime. Disclaimer. Disclaimer. Disclaimer.
We don't trust what God says. Why? We're going to have to start putting a disclaimer in the beginning of every episode when Kyle comes on. No, I want to put a disclaimer on the beginning of every podcast that says, everything said in this podcast is a lie and not true at all. Please do not take anything said in this podcast as accurate information. Oh, yeah, we should do that. Add a disclaimer.
I'm going to set a reminder on my phone to add disclaimers. What should our disclaimers say? Everything on this episode is a lie, especially the things Harper says. Do not listen to a thing Harper says. Do not take it as true. We love women, and we think they should work and vote. Who said that? Kyle, stop! Matt loves women.
- Kyle, since you're really not a real person, you're actually like a different person on the inside, you can just say whatever you want to say, anything. - Yeah, it would be unhinged if Harper had a character on the show. - I can say anything. - I would say anything. - You would. - What are y'all talking about? - Like if I had a character, if I had a character. - First of all, I am not a character. - Do you wanna be a character? - Yeah, and I wanna say whatever I wanna say. - No, no, no, no. - I am not a character. - She comes on, she's like, "I want a character."
I am not a character. Why is everyone calling me that? I am a person with feelings and a story that nobody seems to listen to. A story that needs to be heard. Why does everyone seem to think that I just spawned into the earth? Matt. Well, do you see your glasses? We are good. I didn't say anything. I just looked at him. He looked at me. He said, Matt, have you guys noticed? Maverick, every episode, he looks around. He's like, I didn't look around. There was no looking around, bud. Kyle, you were right. Ugh.
And that's what Matt looks like every episode. He's like, he's asking how much time we have left. Time for what? Can I go eat? Can I go eat? I am hungry. Can I go dance? I'm a hungry boy. Growing boy. I have a question. Actually, I'm not growing. My mother told me I'm malnourished. That's what she said. Ooh. Yeah, okay, dude. Mama's always worried about me eating. We went home to Oklahoma. Say, hey, bud. Hey, bud. Why do you want me to say it? The cinematics are...
Wait, listen. What is that, Harper? You sly little fox, you. Oh, me? I wasn't me. That was you. What was that? Go back to that. What was it? I'm feeling very left out. What was it? What was it? What was it? It was a story. No, but what is the background?
That's me and me and Addie. That's a girl. Oh, that's a girl. That's a girl. Oh No, no scroll back no let it go how was oh gosh, okay? Yeah, we can't show that on the screen guys. I'm sorry about that. It's my friend Don't worry anyways. We went to Oklahoma Oklahoma my mom was like H-O-M-A
My mom was like, Maverick, I'm worried about you. You're going to be so malnourished because you don't eat any food. All you eat is chicken strips and hamburgers. I eat plenty, Mom. And then we thought she was just joking, trolling, right? And then my mom calls, and she's like, I just hope you know I didn't mean to hurt your feelings about that. Hey, bud. And we were like, Mom, you didn't hurt our feelings or his feelings. Did she hurt your feelings? Yeah. Mom hurt my feelings real bad. Can y'all get up?
What are you doing? That's so important. There's this bad kid on my snap. What? What bad kid? Texting an editor. Oh, my goodness. That is a bad kid. What are you doing? Don't look at that. What the heck did I just pick up? What did I just pick up? Don't need that. I haven't even been on mine. No, y'all have all been on your phones. All right, fine. Time. No phones. Dang it. All these phones are heavy, man. Let me feel.
No, that's okay. Okay. I'm pretty freaking mad because apparently I'm not even a part of the podcast and you're taking my stuff. Hold my toes. I dare ya. Okay. What the? Wait. Why are you touching her feet, Cash? Don't touch her feet. Wait, let me pop your toes. I actually do this cool thing. Don't take off my sock. No. Stop saying no. He got out of his chair and put his butt
Okay, watch ready no no no the big toes broken see I just popped your toes. That's it listen to this Wait do it
It won't go anymore. Ready? Do it? Oh, she's doing it with her mouth. She's doing... It sounds like she's winding up a jack-in-the-box. Did you hear how a jack-in-the-box sounds? A jack-in-the-box is like... What kind of jack-in-the-box do you think? My jack-in-the-box was made and broken. My jack-in-the-box was like...
Did you ever play with a jack-in-the-box? Yes. A clown. I have one. I saw a picture. Has Jack ever came out of the box? No, listen. That's what my picture's about. Jack came out of the box? Yeah. I saw a picture of Jack in the box at the restaurant. Part of the sign was off and Jack came out of the box. Oh, you saw that? No, I'm asking.
What the? Wait, did they tell you to spitball that? What do you mean? Yeah, so there's... I've always wondered if Jack could come out of the box. Yeah, so Jack in the box at the restaurant, it's a box, right? Yep. And half of the box ripped open. And Jack came out. How do you know this? I'm just asking. You saw the meme, huh? No, I just want to know if Jack came out of the box. Yeah, half of the box was ripped open, and the meme was like, he escaped. Dude, that's crazy. It's almost like you sent me the meme. Oh, did I send you the meme? Oh, man. Did I really? Yeah.
Bravo, bravo. I'll text Alex the meme so we can pop it up on the screen, guys. Listen to my toe pop. It's still broken. Every time you tell us to listen, just nothing pops. Nothing pops, and quite frankly, I'm getting tired of hearing nothing. Listen. Okay, I heard something that time. Alex, come away from the camera. Hey.
God. Matt, do you perhaps know what I sent you that meme on? No, but I know I saw it, so I think you sent it to me. Unless we just both happen to see it. You think I sent it to you? No, I don't really know. I'm not going to lie, guys. What? I'm done with the podcast. Well, then leave, Kyle. Okay. Well, Kyle's done, so I guess we're done too. All right, we'll see you guys next time. Peace. Peace.