Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Welcome back, guys. I don't like any of it. Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. We're sorting something out. No, wait, wait. How is that not the same thing? They're mad. You're right, you're right. I actually, I changed my mind. I don't like any of it. She changed her mind again. She literally said off the scenes, I don't like the podcast. Yeah, what's up?
about that yeah are you Kate doesn't like the podcast because she feels like she's lying saying we're pregnant in the last uh no it was probably like five video five-ish podcasts ago we said well we posted it today but for you guys it'll probably be like five podcasts ago the title was we're pregnant and we edited Kate's stomach to look like she's pregnant and
And she doesn't like that. I don't understand. I feel like I'm lying. I think you're lying. And joking about pregnancy is not cool. That's what I'm saying. Pregnancy is such a sensitive thing for some people. But we're not joking about pregnancy. That's exactly what we were doing, actually. Well, technically you said, no, I'm just kidding. But what I don't like. Me, I feel no guilt because it says we're pregnant. You two. Not me or Harper. So we're off the hook. Yeah, we're fine, right? I just didn't even know that that was the title. Surprise! We talked about it. Why did no one ask?
- Ask me. - I'm the one on the thumbnails. - Listen, there is a reason I'm in charge of the click bait and the reason is because this video is the best performing video we've ever posted. One out of 10. - Wow. - Yeah, well, sometimes when you do evil things, you can get good in life. - Yeah, you want the devil's money? - Whoa. - As a matter of fact, let's donate all this money. - I agree. Any profit we make from that video, send straight to Aaron.
Who's Erin? Nobody even knows who Erin is. No, but we know who Erin is. Oh, your aunt? Wait, wait. Not our aunt. Oh, guys, don't worry. I lied to my mom that my sister was pregnant. She almost threw her off the roof. See, that's funny, too. That's actually hilarious. That's a lie. What? That is a lie. Oh, my gosh. That's what a joke is. It's a lie. The other day, he lied to you. So you want to live your life by jokes? Wait, wait, wait. Are you going to tell your kids sin? No, never mind. Hey, hey, hey. Okay.
I see both sides of this. I see why you're mad. I see why you're mad. I mean, I just understand everything that y'all are going through. I can make you more mad. You want to be more mad? Guys, I'm literally... He lied to you the other day. No, this is... Listen, why? And I told him, I said, Cash, it's a lie if you don't tell her that you're joking. What did I lie to her about? I hate liars. Wait, hold up, hold up. What did I lie? It was really pointless. He didn't need to lie to you. I didn't. What did I lie about?
He said that we were waiting on me to get out of the house. I was in the car honking my horn waiting on him for like 20 minutes in the car. See, once again, a joke. Matt, we walk into the house. Everybody's like, why are y'all late? I was like, waiting on Matt. But we were waiting on me. That's just a joke. That's a lighthearted joke. Why would she have to tell?
No, because we were late to set up stuff for a surprise birthday. And so we were running late on time. It was not a surprise birthday. Just a birthday. Okay, whatever. And we were running late on time. And I was like, Cash, we have to go. We got to be there. And then he took forever to get out of the house. I just don't... Okay. Jokes are lies. That's why they're jokes. You say, just kidding.
Jokes are not lies. Yeah, what? Yes, they are. What are you talking about? You say the most lie jokes. What? No, jokes are a... It could be a lie where someone assumes the truth, and that's why it's funny.
Like if I was like, yeah, I can bench press 500 pounds. Okay. And then people laugh. Like that's a joke, but everybody knows the truth. It's a re-historical joke, right? No. Okay. I don't know what that means. But that sounds good. Yeah. Re-historical? Okay. You mean rhetorical? Yeah, like a re-historical question. A rhetorical. Rhetorical question. Oh God. Something like that. Rhetorical questions, which means like you ask a question like, um, like, are
Are you stupid? Like, you don't say yes. Like, and then, like, but, like, it's like, it's like. A rhetorical question? Yeah. Okay, I get what you're saying. But a rhetorical joke. Okay. Yes. So, like, let me, let me go through our thumbnails and titles on this podcast. And we'll see how many of them are lies. First off, we'll start off with we're pregnant.
A lie. I am not pregnant. We'll start off with we're pregnant. But hey, Kenny's a joke. No, that's a lie. That's not true. We could be pregnant. We don't know. Oh, yeah. We do know. That is true. When was the last time you took a test? When was the last time you took a pregnancy test? I don't need to have a test to know. Why not? She'll grow a bum. Wait, why do you not need to have a test to know? Man's kind of got a point now. Do y'all not know how the woman's body works? Kind of. Joe is putting down like...
If you have a period, you're not pregnant. Yeah, but have you had that yet? Yes. Well. Since when? When was the last time you had one?
What is that? What is a period? It's what goes at the end of a sentence. Wait, no, when was the last time you had one? Last week. Okay, so after last week, we could be pregnant this week. No, we can't. No, we can't because you get your period. It takes two weeks, right? You get your period and then you get your ovulation. Ovulation. That's what you get pregnant at.
And then you get your period again and the cycle starts over. I haven't ovulated yet. Okay. So I don't have a baby. This is all confusing me. And I don't know about the cycle of life. Yes. But I do know, I do know that there's always a chance of pregnancy. I'm not pregnant. Except there, there's no chance there. Zero chance there. Zero chance out of us three that we're pregnant. Yeah. But you, you're at very high risk.
high risk of pregnancy you are i don't know if she is no trust me it's very high risk okay very high risk of pregnancy but i don't know okay let's let's move on to the next one our other thumbnails and titles um going through his phone okay that one's real our relationship is ruined i mean well i go back and forth if that one's real yeah that was pretty real actually i mean it was
Fighting my older brother. Harper! Your knee! I know. Yo, you're bleeding out. I know. Someone get the medic. Alex? No, no, it's okay. I can lick it. Alex is the medic here. I started to, like, I kind of want to lick it. I don't know why. Like, I just want to, like, what? What did he say? What kind of taste weird? What did he say?
Have you ever tasted your own blood? I tasted my friend's blood. Obviously, everyone tastes their own blood. Yeah. Surprisingly, blood does not taste as bad as you think. That's what I'm saying. I was wondering, what does other people's blood taste like? It's not snow cone. No, it doesn't look like a snow cone. I did.
Was that a bad thing to say on the podcast? Maybe I shouldn't have said that. That wasn't a normal thing to say. It's kind of an impulsive thought. He's definitely a weird guy on the pod. Guys, guys, I can't do it. I'm going to get flamed if I lick my own blood. Okay, no, someone get this girl. No, no, no. I want to look cool. I want to look like I'm a baddie. Okay. Okay.
Next one. I survived. This is Kate's thumbnail. I survived a wild possum attack. I did. No, that's a lie. It was actually not wild. It was literally in a cage. It was wild though. It was wild in a cage. It tried to bite me many times. It was wild and I was attacked and I peed on the floor. You were not attacked. It was in a cage in a shower.
I walked in and the thing looked at me and I peed on the floor. So you were not attacked by it? Yes, I was. Am I the only one tripping here? Kate, it was locked in the shower. It was actually double locked. It was locked in a glass cage inside a metal cage. No, the first time it wasn't even in a metal cage. Oh, okay. Well, it was locked in a glass cage. I felt like I was attacked. How is that a test? I feel so above you right now. I'm so happy. Okay, I went back to middle school. We did not go back to middle school. Um...
That's a lie. We did middle school questions. If we're talking super... That's close to the truth. I spied on their date. Harper on a date with Matt with binoculars. That is implying that she went on a date and you were spying on her with binoculars and that did not happen. Is that coming off? We did try to spy on her date.
On her hanging with her friends. No, we did not. Oh, I guess it's a friend's date. No, we did not. Only 1% can do this. She was ignoring our phone calls. Yeah.
Wait, listen, listen. Only 1% can do this, and it's Kate's arm like this. No, only .001%. We just made that up. Okay, here's the thing. We completely made that up. Here's the thing. I mean, we did do a little talent show, but yeah, it wasn't 1%. I don't agree with that, but like you said, I'm not on the thumbnail and titles team, so I don't deal with that. However, I feel morally wrong about the, we're pregnant when I'm not pregnant.
I agree. But I don't understand because in the video, in the video. I want you to know there was three people on the thumbnail and title team. Two of us voted not to do that. And the other person threw a fit until he got his way. Yo. That's not true. That's not true. Is that what happened? No, no, no. No, no, no. I just, I don't understand why nobody asked me. I'm the one on the thumbnail. Me too. Oh, God. Okay.
Ultimately, we decided it was y'all's relationship. You're the ones that are saying it. Wait. So nobody asked me. Well, we're asking you now. You guys are one. But now it doesn't matter because now the video is our best performing video ever. It's starting to look like y'all be coming too. I just don't understand. I come out. We come out. We're making more money. That's what I'm saying, Harper. Yeah. We're making more money. Lock in. I was designated. Head of thumbnail team is my job. Oh.
Amazing thumbnail, best video, best performing video we've ever had. Listen, that's fine. And I get flamed for doing my job right. Which is why the thumbnail title for this is going to be something wild. It's going to be... And I already know the topic, so I can't wait. Can we just jump into that topic? Should we just title and thumbnail this something completely that did not happen in this episode? Yeah. Yeah.
have to wait till the end and then they're gonna watch right here and you guys can be like hmm so whatever yeah wait guys guys guys you know how the fainting thing went viral yeah we need to make another thing like that listen like i'm setting alarm alarm on my phone to make all of this is wait wait wait wait wait make fake thumbnail okay listen as important as all of this is like this is very important
Something happened over Thanksgiving. Something happened? I spoke with a classified individual, very high up in the military, like very high up, like has dinners with the president. Like Biden? Like Martin Luther King? Like very high up, like controls military. Okay? And he told me... Who? I can't tell you that. It's classified. Wait, wait, wait. Can you tell the story? Yes. Because I'm not telling the person, but I can tell... Right, but like... No, no, no, no, no. Hold on, hold on. Why not?
I don't know if you should say that. What? That World War III is coming? No! World War III is coming and Cash is going to war. I'm getting drafted. He's getting drafted. He's going to war. And I'm scared. And Joe's safe because he's above the draft age. Maverick is safe because he has scoliosis. And you two are women. Alex, you should bring him. Alex, me and you, we're screwed. We are done for. I have no idea.
Here's the thing. Here's the thing. And also, he said it'll be about three years, but he's like, World War III is coming. Wait, are you actually joking? No, Harper, I'm not joking. No, this was a real conversation. No. I know. I'm like, I don't...
I'm like, I don't want a war to happen. He said so much crazy stuff. Yeah, a lot of stuff I can't tell you right on this podcast. But like, oh my gosh. I talked to this man for like two hours. I was like, not two hours. It was like an hour. But I was like, oh my gosh. This is wild. This is wild. He's never going to talk to you again after this. Oh, no, he doesn't watch this. He's doing high up military things. Who are you talking to? He's very high up. He was like, NATO was in my office yesterday. I'm like, NATO? Yeah, I'm like, he's talking. NATO was just in your office?
What is NATO? NATO is like the- Wait wait wait wait wait. You don't know what NATO is? Sounds like a clothing brand. Did you go to school? Uh, yeah. Who is NATO? NATO is like the group of all the European countries. It's like our alliance. It's us and like all the countries we're alliance with. That's called NATO. So like if another country we're alliance with goes to war, we go to war too with them. Oh, yes. It's like we all help each other out. You're part of NATO. I just thought that was called like an alliance or the alliance. You wanna join our team?
Yeah. But like all of the leaders of that is NATO. Wait, so you're not being, like you're not joking. Harper, look me in the eyes. We're going to war. You're freaking the girl out. No. No need to freak out. Just a little bit. We're freaking out. But you don't need to. Wait, there's going to be bombs
on our country. No, no, no. He told me. He told me. No, no, no, no, no. He told me we're safe from nuclear attacks. Because we're America. He said we can stop them. He said we can stop them. Most likely. That's what he said. He said most likely. He did say something, but I don't want to say that on here, but he said we good. Like, we're good. What did he say?
He said we're doomed. Oh, no. Oh, he's telling me. Oh, my gosh. Why are you freaking her out? What? Why are you? My mom is literally freaking her out. Oh, he actually said that? Yeah. Okay, good. What did he say? Oh, did you tell her the one thing? Yeah. Oh. Wait, what one thing? He said it. Wait, my cousin. No, no, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay. Okay. We can move them. Yeah. We can move them. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, moral of the story here is two years. He said about three.
Two years ago, I said, Mav, Kate. This was like six months ago. No, it was about two years. He's been saying it for the last two years. Because two Christmases ago, I asked for supplies and everyone laughed at me. Everyone laughed at me and ridiculed me. On two years ago, I put, I was making my Christmas list and I put, I put LifeStraw, you know, those straws that like filters water. Oh my gosh, yeah.
Yeah, it does like something like 100,000 gallons of water. So I'll be good for a long time. Now you guys, on the other hand, don't have a LifeStraw. So I don't know what you guys will be drinking. But I'm good until I die. I actually have like four LifeStraws. Well, anyways. You do? They're called something different, but yeah. I put that on my Christmas list. I put...
For hunting. I put, like, you know, blasters on my Christmas list. I put, like, you know, first aid. I put so much stuff on my Christmas list. I put MREs on my Christmas list. You gotta eat the food. MREs, it's like what the military guys eat in the bag. Oh, I know. It's like a little plastic. And everyone made fun of me so hard. And then they talked to this guy.
And then he comes home and Kate and they're like, we got to prepare. I'm like, I'm already prepared. I don't know about you guys, but I'm good. No, first off, you're not good. We need a cabin in the woods that is secure. Stop speaking about our secure cabin in the woods because now it's not secure. If you say we have a cabin in the woods. But nobody knows where it's at in the woods. But they can find out what general area we live in. Wait, there's no way.
Aren't y'all just joking with me? There's no way we're having a war in three years, right? Why can't we just have peace on Earth? That's what I'm saying. You know what? I think you should be ahead of communications. Did you say that women wouldn't be a part of the war? He did say that. I don't know what he's talking about. I feel like women would fight to be in the war.
Well, that's the issue here. I'm talking about drafting women. Listen, I'm just going to say this. I'm not going to war. I'm not doing that. You're what? They're talking about drafting women, and I'm not doing that. I will stay right here in my room. What women are you talking to that want to go to war? All the Taylor Swifts of the world who feel like they're so powerful. Okay. I will say this. If I got drafted, I'm just going to say it. Okay. If I got drafted. You're not wrong. If I got drafted, and they put me in a squad of like 10 people, and I walk in there, and it's 10 people that look like Kate.
I'm leaving. I'm joining the other team. Whoever's attacking us, I'm joining the other team. Hey, I agree. And I'm going to say, we got this in the bag. If they drafted me and it was 10 other girls that were just like me, I think we'd all start crying. I agree. Yeah. You know that I put them there for your shield. Oh, okay. Well, in that case, then maybe I'm good. Here's the thing. I will say, like, they do say, like, if you became a medic...
or like a nurse and you got sent to a military base, they say it's one of the safest places to be in a war. Oh, well, yeah. I would go be a medic, except I don't have a medical background. My point is, we should all become nurses. You know what's actually a crazy thought? Say they decided they did want to include women in the drafts. Harper's only three and a half years away from the draft.
Wow. I'm three years from being out of the draft. Harper, you're not getting drafted. You can't come close enough. You're not getting drafted. Wait, three and a half years away from the draft and the war is happening in three years. She's getting drafted. No, you are not, Harper. Me and you. Me and you, Harper. I can't wait for this podcast to be over and she's going to go, y'all were joking, right? Wait, y'all are, right? No. No. I'm looking it up. No, you can't. No, it's not like. Google will tell you. I can explain to you why later. Guys, guys, my phone broke.
Not just now. Oh, that actually did break. Oh, my God. Yeah. And then I got a 100 on my test, my math test, so I'm getting a new phone. When are you getting a new phone? Wait, when are you getting a new phone? I'm getting a new phone as soon as I get home. Oh. Oh. You might be getting a new phone tomorrow. We're playing a game, and I think a phone is one of the prizes. Wait, what one? The pink one? The pink one. I don't know what color it is. I don't know what color the phone is. Speaking of what we're doing tomorrow, we're filming a video. Is it a video?
Is it actually tomorrow or is it just today? No, it's tomorrow. Is it actually tomorrow? We're shooting a video where you have to... It's called Steal or Share. No, no, no. Different game. Oh, never mind. We're shooting a video where we're going to eat the world's hottest chip. And by we, do you want to eat the world's hottest chip? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Joe's going to eat the world's hottest chip. Y'all really have it? Yeah, we bought them. I'm so excited.
I don't need it. Well, it's not today. Here's the thing. I've ate the world's hottest chip. He's ate the world's hottest chip. So we will not be participating. No, I kind of want to. Be my guest. I hope you guys know that I was throwing up consecutively for 14 hours straight yesterday. Are you sick? I feel like that's impossible. Are you sure you're not sick? I have food poisoning from cookies. No fever? No. Wait, from cookies? Yeah. What kind of cookies? My mom's. She didn't bake them all the way. Oh.
Oh, you know, this girl made me some cookies and I was eating them today. That's what I like to say, but... And I told Kate, I said, these cookies don't taste right. And then Cash had one and he said, that cookie is vile. He said, that's disgusting.
- Why? - Shouldn't have ate that cookie. - No, and I said, "Try this cookie." I said, "I don't wanna try that cookie." He said, "Why don't you wanna try my cookie?" I said, "Look at the cookie." And he was like-- - It looked like a normal cookie! - He was like, "You don't know how the cookie's gonna taste, by its looks." And I did. I took a bite of the cookie and I said, "I'm so unhappy that I took a bite of this cookie." - Is World War III coming? - Harper is not on that. - Could you imagine Harper gets to the base though, and they're like, "What are you the best at?" She's like, "Well, I know how to make TikToks." And so then she's out there in the middle of a war.
Renegade. Renegade. Do you guys remember that trend that went around a couple months ago where the girls were like me if I was in the army? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a video of these girls that were actually in the army and it was so funny because it was like there was just these girls like me driving these big old tanks and their friends are taking Snapchat to them and it was like
The trend, but like real. I need to see if I can find it. It was so funny. Dude, I just can't believe you're going to war. I know. Me either, man. I mean, you know what I'm hoping to do? None of us are going to war. I'm hoping we can get this podcast a lot bigger. Share this with your friends to keep me away from the war. Because if we can get famous enough, then if you're famous enough, you can get... You can get special privileges. No, no, no. They won't put you in war because you're too famous. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Alex is like, I got to start TikTok right now. If you're too famous, they won't put you in war because they can't throw Justin Bieber in war. They put Elvis there. Yeah, but Elvis was a punishment. Huh? That was because he committed a crime. Yeah, so they sent him to die. Wait, Elvis went because he committed a crime? Yeah. You don't know what the crime was? Yeah.
He shook his hips on television. Oh, that was why? Yeah. They told him that he can't dance like that. He got up on stage and he... Point given. That was a long time ago. Yeah. Wait, why was he not allowed to shake his hips? Because it was on time ago. Because that was inappropriate. And it was on TV. Oh, no.
Oh my gosh. The people who were running the world. It was two years in prison or two years? Whoever was running the world in that time period would have an absolute meltdown. Could you imagine if they saw Cardi B? If they saw Doja Cat? Yeah, they'd just lose their mind. If they saw Cardi B and Doja Cat? Imagine if they just walked down downtown Dallas street. They'd just lose their mind. Oh my gosh. Now there's the thing that if you're famous enough, then they... What's the word? Harper's over here saying goodbye to all her friends. She's like, we're done. Yeah, they pardon you from the war.
I'm actually nervous. Like, are you joking? Like, in three years... Parker, I feel like we're scaring you. You don't need to be scared. Well, in three years, are we seriously going to war?
Well, first off, you should know something. We're already at war with multiple countries. Oh, we are? Yes. Like you. We're helping in Ukraine, Israel. We just pulled out of Iran. Are we going to sit here and talk about war? This is like... No, just know that we are already... You're fine. Wait, so we're fine, but you're fine. No, no, no. But when they attack us, that's totally different. Okay. So three years they're attacking us? Yes. No, that doesn't mean they're attacking us. I'm just saying...
In three years, Russia, China, North Korea, Iran, Hamas, they're all going to group together. And then they're going to attack like Europe and everything. And then eventually us, maybe. But hopefully not. Until they take over the world. But we're America. We're bigger, stronger, and better. Why the heck would they take over America? That's so stupid. We're just good people. I know. We're just literally just trying to live life. You tell them that. Yeah. Oh my gosh, yeah. So get this video to Kim Jong-un. Yeah, write Kim Jong-un a letter. Okay, tell him. Wait, so he's the one?
Can't Donald Trump... Because Donald Trump, he's the leader of America. Donald Trump? Yeah. I mean, Joe Biden. Three years ago, he was. Wait, can we please... Because since Donald Trump was friends with King John, can't he just be president again? I know I don't really like him, but we can just... Well, that's what happened when Trump was president. He made friends with King John. So he didn't go to war. And we were good. We were chillin'. Bro...
But we were about to go to war. We were? Huge shout out. I found that out. No! You're not allowed to say that, man. Oh, sorry. That is probably classified. We'll tell you after, though. Okay, bleep that out. You'll tell me after? Yeah. Bleep that out. That was classified. That was definitely classified. Wait, what did he say? Oh. He was saying the other part. Oh. But yeah, so...
Me and you, Harper, will be in war. Y'all are going to be the front line men. Kate, you'll be there too if they do women. I'm literally not going. That's so stupid. I'm not going to war. You know if you don't go, they throw you in jail. Throw me in jail. I don't give a crap. I'm not doing that. And they shove two rocks against your head until you burst.
What? In the old days. In the old days. Did you see some of the people they actually used to see in the war, though? Like, in the movies? Like, not the main characters, but the people in the background who are, like, scrunny? Like, why would you do that? Well, dude, isn't it crazy? The draft age is, like, 18 to, what, 26? Yes. Like, bro...
No, I'm not going to be at war. You're telling me, how old are you? I'm 26. Okay, so you're telling me Joe's already too old to go to war? Yeah, right. Wait, 18 to 26? Yeah. That's nuts. Like, 26 is the cutoff? I know, like your life is just starting. You're about to go get married, have kids, and then they're like, psych, we're putting you on the front line tonight.
I don't understand why 26 is the cutoff. Like, 35 should be the cutoff. I think it's because they see us as less valuable. Because they're like, oh, you're probably not married. You probably don't have kids. You haven't went to school yet. You're not doing jobs. Like, a judge dies. She's got a kid. Like, you know, then you gotta... That has to be it. It has to just be, like, 19-year-olds there. They see us as worthless. That's what it is. We're expendable. Like, 20-year-olds are just like, send them. They're just at college parties. Because I'm literally not going. What if they had a golden war? A golden war? Yeah, where it's like, 35 to 80? Yeah.
Yeah, wait. Why don't we do that? They're at the end of their life. That's what I was saying. Give grandpa a weapon and put him in there. Yeah. They like have no control. They're just like, they don't put up with nobody. They shoot you. Yeah.
got like dementia they're like grenade and they just throw another one wait so so you're saying hey so so you're saying if i i'm gonna be 17 in three years the enemy walks up they're like who are you russia who are you
Russia? What? - They're constantly shooting. - Oh my God. - They're shooting their own teammates. - Guys, our audience, I don't think our audience. - They're pulling their gun on their buddies. They're like, "Who are you? I'm on your team."
Our audience doesn't understand this, guys. Dementia is Alzheimer's. That's what we're talking about. If we send a bunch of old people that had Alzheimer's to war. My mom works for people with Alzheimer's. Yeah. Should we send them to war? Yes. Oh, wait. No, no, no. I'm just joking. But guys, I seriously have to tell you something.
What's it called? So in three years, I'm going to be 17, which means I'm not 18. So I won't be able to go to the war. No, but Harrison will. No. Whoever your boyfriend is will be in the war. He'll have to go to war.
Harper, also, if you're not getting drafted, first of all, but if that were to happen and the war was on for a year and they're like, just kidding, we need to draft more people, then you're eligible. Because then you'll be 18. Wait, wait. What did that make? Like, there's no way they can make women eligible for the draft. Wouldn't that make everyone mad? So me, my mom, and my dad would get drafted. No, they wouldn't. I don't think they can because they would, like, say, like, y'all need to support the kids. There's no way they would make women eligible. No, they wouldn't. They would not do that because I'm not going to go. And I'm not going to go either. I'm going to sleep in.
And eat breakfast. They would have to make them allow volunteer women. I mean, I'm sure you can volunteer. And if you want to volunteer, good for you. But I'm not volunteering. Listen, I'm not going to lie. I've been thinking about dating again. And if I start dating a girl and then I get sent to war. Just like every other movie. All of that investment. I just spent so much money taking this girl on dates for nothing. You know that this is all like a rumor. Like this isn't actually going to happen again.
You know, we're like, we're like definitely due for a war because, um, what's it called? Oh, because like, think about it. This is like the longest I think America has ever been without a war. So we're due. And it's nice that it's our lifetime. But we've been in wars, right? Yeah. And we haven't been in one in a long time. So we're due. No, no. I can explain to you after why, why it's going to happen if you want. Tell me. Right now? After. After. After. You're fine though. Stop worrying. Am I going to live like.
Harper, Harper, you're fine. You are fine. Your mom and dad are fine. He's done for. I'm done. Your sister is fine. He's going to war. I'm shipped off right now. Is my dog okay? Your dog's going to be fine, but Cash is not. Okay. So it might just be you and Kate doing the podcast. You're not going.
I'll probably get drafted. I'll sign up. If you get drafted, I'm trying to sign up. But you can't. You have scoliosis. I'll tell him I don't have it. Oh, wait. I have a growth hormone deficiency. So I'm fine. You're not going to war, Harper. You're just a teenage girl. Me on the other hand.
You're a teenage girl. I'm literally, what if I'm pregnant? Are you going to draft me if I'm pregnant and put me and a child in a war? Because that's embarrassing, America. Wait, so then, like, technically, if a sniper got you, do you think they'd mark down two tallies or just one? I guess two. Yeah, I mean, that's what I was thinking. That's kind of messed up. I mean, that is true. I don't like this topic. Yeah, we should move on for more. Okay, dating advice. Let's talk about dating advice. Okay, you know what I was thinking while we were sitting here talking? Harper's actually looking older.
Oh my gosh, I know. No, no, no, no. Because Harper, I was looking at her videos from when we first met and Cash and I the other night were like, she's literally grown so much in like nine months. Maybe not. Maybe not like upwards. You just look older. You look more mature. I do? You look more mature. Okay, before we started, you started to talk to me about Harrison and I said, hold it. Let's talk about it on the pod. What's up? So yeah, we're talking again. Of course. Okay. Who would have thought? Like,
Yeah, I'm really excited. You're just playing games with him at this point. No. He's playing games with her. No. There's lots of games being played. Harper, it doesn't matter if y'all are talking. It matters if he's talking to other girls or not. No, he's not. He's not. I feel like you're playing... Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. You know what? I've started not to believe things other people say because I need proof, obviously. Like, obviously, if Paige said, oh, yeah, Cash is cheating on you and me. Like...
Like, obviously you'd be like, you'd be like, oh, that's like, no, no, no, he's not. I need to see proof. Yeah. Right. So I don't think I would believe it. Well, I wouldn't need proof because I know it's not true. Yeah, exactly. So I'm not, I'm going to cheat. I would never cheat. I was waiting for it. No, no, but literally like if somebody has watched every single piece of podcasts and club video we've ever posted, you get it.
And say you should please go collect all those and tag us in. I would never cheat. I would never cheat. Make a montage. Yeah, I want a montage of Cash saying he would never cheat. Harper, does it count as evidence if he's like, you know, with you and he says you should go because I'm going to another girl's house? That was like before we were starting. That was so Halloween. No, yes, that was in
We're at Thanksgiving now. It's Thanksgiving. We started being a thing a week ago. Oh my gosh. Okay, so wait, wait, wait. You're telling me y'all are a thing? Yeah. What about the other girls? We're talking. No, no, no. Wait, like boyfriend and girlfriend? No, no. We're talking. But what about the other girls? The other girls? He just ghosted them. Harper, hold on. Do you really think? Yeah. Just to clarify, the talking stage? For me, at least, it doesn't exist. I'm talking to multiple girls.
Okay. Until we have that DTR where we're like, no, we're dating. The talking stage definitely exists when you're in high school for sure. Well, we're not dating because he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend, but like, we're like not. If he did, what would you say?
Yes, duh. I've liked him for nine months. No, literally. I don't like Harrison because I want to have him on the pod. But I don't want the girls here. I just want me and you to interrogate him. The kid is cute. I shouldn't say that, actually. Hold on. Harper thinks Cash is cute. Cash, you think a little kid is cute? No, I said that. This is a James shuttle. No, no, no.
Bro. No, listen. Barbara, that's how you get off his PR list, by the way. No, I love him. I unfollow you on Instagram. That's weird. Listen, I should probably add him on Snap. Oh, my gosh. You have a 14-year-old on Snap? No. It's a James Charles scandal. I only added him on Snap because he said he had a boat, but he does not have a boat. So you were going to use the 14-year-old boy? I told him that. For a boat? I said, do you promise you have a boat? What?
And he was like, yeah. And then I show up. He takes his pinky promises seriously. Don't say, I promise. You have to stick your pinky out. I did that. I did that. Pinky promises. No. And then I showed up to his house. I had a sea-dew and he lives on the lake. A jet ski. People don't know what a sea-dew is. I had a jet ski. I drove to his house because his house is on the lake and I'm on the jet ski. And homie's in a paddle boat. I don't know.
A paddle boat. And right next to him was a nice boat. And I was like, can't we take that boat? He's like, when I heard that from my parents, I was like, I turned my jet ski right back around. And I went back to my side. No way. No, I'm kidding. You know, what I was saying is the kid is good. Look, there's not really a good way. The kid is. He looks good. He's not ugly. He's a handsome boy. Handsome boy. And he knows he's a handsome boy.
Yeah. So he just keeps playing all these women. I know. But the thing is... Yeah, but it sounds like someone I know. He sounds like someone I know. He posted it. He posted it. Wow. What do you mean? I almost remember another 14-year-old doing the same thing. No, no. Not me. Not me. Kay remembers, right? Oh, I sure do remember. I remember a boy that was good-looking with millions of followers behind him, too. So what I'm hearing is everyone... A huge advantage. Everyone here thinks I'm good-looking?
Nobody said that. I said good looking. My point was going to be you had followers and so girls were just trying to get clout. Not anything to do with you being handsome. My fans found him, by the way. They know that he's Harrison. We're going to call him Harrison. Yeah, but they found him. Wait, his real name is actually... I'm so stupid. I really thought it was Harrison. No, his real name is one letter off. Well, actually, it's like
Wait, so do your fans leave like hate comments and stuff? No, they like him. Wait, so he literally. I have a question. He's literally. Gosh, your context right now. Because he's. No. Because he literally.
like okay finally i'm getting my followers i'm getting my followers and then and then and then he's gonna be like just kidding i'm done and then yeah he's gone forever well he barely has any followers he's like three thousand no but he then you're gonna date and then you're gonna go six off with him and then he's gonna get followers i was there harper i did the same thing i said lots of you but then you never get out of it oh wait whoa i'm kidding wait a second
Hold on. I'm just happy that she's acknowledged that I gay for all her followers. Yeah. I remember she got mad that one time. Yeah. I said, Kate, I made you famous. No, you called me a paid actor. That was improvised.
No, that was actually word for word. I can acknowledge that the only reason I have followers is because I started dating Cashmaker. Thank you. That's all I wanted her to know. I've always said that. But you know, the thing is, he texted me. He said, the only reason I'm not dating you right now is because I don't want to hear it. No, it's because people will think I'm using you for clout.
so oh he's so pure harper yeah harper yeah yeah that's an excuse yeah it's not good enough no because the only reason i'm not dating you now is because you don't i don't want to use you for clout uh he can date you and just not have you post about him yeah harper you better lock him in before kristen's break is here no yeah he said he said he wants to get matching pjs and stuff so oh that's good news oh okay so my question um
Are you allowed to have a boyfriend? Yes. Have you had a boyfriend before? Yes. In sixth grade. No, no, no. Okay. But that's like sixth grade. No. Like now you're in high school. Like now, like would your mom and dad allow you to have a boyfriend? Yes. Would they like allow y'all to like go out on dates? Yeah. Nope. What? Absolutely not. I can't wait to have Harrison on the pod. Oh my gosh. I want to watch the episode though.
We gotta figure out if he's good enough for our daughter. Yeah, I'm basically his daughter. I spend 24 hours. Maybe little sister. I don't like daughter. It feels like daughter. It feels almost like daughter. I'm literally like family. Think about it. When have you ever sat down with your sister and been like, oh, you're getting so big and I recognize it. Because I don't have a little sister. I have two gay dads.
What? Yo. Right? He's married. Oh, my gosh. They're brothers. Sorry, guys. We're literally related. Two dads. But since y'all are brothers and I'm your daughter, it's therefore y'all are two dads. Why would you say that? But not gay. They're not gay. Wait. They're gay happy. Like, happy gay. That's what I thought we were talking about. It's that time of the season. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. You know the song? It's like, I'm gay. The Christmas song? No, no, no, no.
I know what you mean. It's like, it's like, joy to the world. No, no, no. My gay apparel? Yes! That's it. Gay apparel. La, la, la, la. Every time I heard that song when I was 10, I was like, hey, it's that gay. When you heard that song, you sang that song, buddy. Huh? I know. I was always like, why are we singing? Gay. Did you know we have a Christmas song? I don't know why we're doing it, but everyone's doing it. Wait, what? Y'all have a Christmas song? Yeah. Like, like Santa tell me if you know. Oh my gosh. We do have a Christmas song. Go stream it. You just sang it.
I thought you were talking about when we were like nine and we were like doing it with kids. At the nursing home. I'm going to play Harper just part of it. You got to hear how crazy this is. We have a Christmas song that we were paid by Sony to hop on like their track. Sony was putting out a kids, like pretty much a kids bop Christmas album. And they paid us to hop on like their album as like a kids bop person. It's not kids bop. It was Sony's version of it. And they paid us to like be on the song.
So we came on the song, and then they just randomly gave us a random Christmas song, and we sang it, and I don't like it. And they got the worst one. I'm so sad that this is out. This song is actually not good at all. Is it like the embarrassment of your career? It's our worst song we've ever done. Oh my gosh. Oh no. You guys are going to have to pop this up on the screen. And they made us wear outfits and dance a certain way, and they were like, make these faces. Oh!
Yeah. They made me do that. Yes. Yeah. Turn it off. Turn it off. Yeah.
Yeah. But if the bag is big enough. I never even got paid. Yes, I did. Did you make money? And you would do it too. No, I never got paid because I was supposed to make like some Cougan account and then I didn't make it. And then. Cause he wasn't 18. So they had to put it into like a different bank account. Cause yeah. And then I never made it. And then, and then I emailed them like five years later. I emailed them like actually like six months ago. It's like five years later. And I found their email like six months ago. And I was like, Hey, can you, can you pay us? How much? And then. Wait, wait.
Sorry, we're talking business. Oh, you flexing how much money you made on it and I made nothing? No, not flexing. Oh, yeah, he made nothing. I emailed them like six months ago, which is about five years since we did the thing. And I was like, hey, checking up on payments. They didn't reply. They said, uh-uh. Maybe you can call them out.
you didn't pay me well yeah you could totally suit them for so much money something like that yeah that's what i thought yeah sheen is using me sheen is using kate what are you no i'm not a model for sheen you are though apparently i am they take my instagram pictures and they edit my hair my long blonde beautiful hair and they edit it like brown and they're like oh my gosh buy
buy our extensions and I'm like those are not Sheen extensions wait they used you for a model they just like used my Instagram pictures on Sheen website if you go to their hair extensions Kate's like the model of them and she doesn't even she never bought their hair extensions I've never bought hair from Sheen and I also never approved that message Sheen also I just in general and I got on a we asked we asked a lawyer and we were like hey should we try to sue him and he was like honestly they're a Chinese company it's not worth your time so no money for me China China
But the thing is, is I would... No. What? China. What was that? China. China. That's how... You don't know China. That's how Trump says China. Everyone makes fun of him. China. He's like China. Anyways, I would not buy hair extensions from Sheen or anywhere weird. Oh, I bought them. They're really good. Y'all got to see that you bought hair extensions from Sheen. Did you? No. She was like, yeah, I saw your ad. I saw this video on how hair extensions are made.
It is nuts. In India, they go to the drain systems and stuff, and they collect all the hair. And then they have this long process of cleaning the hair and making it into hair extensions. Oh, yeah. I saw that. And at the end, it looks like brand new hair. There's no way that's real. I'll show you the TikTok. Oh. You want to see something else disgusting? I don't have hair extensions from Shein, so that's not my hair. Check this out. I love vanilla milkshakes from McDonald's. Oh. And...
on the other podcast the other day that I was on, I brought vanilla milkshake. You were on a podcast? I have a whole nother podcast, Harper. Yeah, he's cheating on us. What? You do? What's your name? What's the name? Truth and Love. And it's like, it's a Christian podcast. But, anyways, they sent this in the group chat and they were all making fun of me. Look at this. Watch that. You gotta take it. That's, I don't get it. That's embarrassing.
What's happening? Do you not see it? They're cleaning the milkshake machine. Oh! Yeah. Is that worms? Is that worms? Let me see. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Text that to Joe so he can throw it up on the screen. Wait, was that worms? Inside the milkshake machine. Those are maggots. Oh, I'm gonna throw up. Oh. Oh. Oh! I gotta make flurry from them yesterday. Text that to Joe so he can see that. Alright, ready guys? I'm gonna show you this one. Um...
I'm going to show you this one, and I'm so sorry for anybody who wears hair extensions. I am very sorry that I'm showing you this video. I'm not. Also, Joe, I texted it to you. I just texted it to you. All right. Here we go.
Is that real? Yes.
Isn't that crazy? Oh yeah you found it That's crazy Look Yeah Oh my gosh it's Kate Everyone Everyone Go to Sheen And tell them to stop Taking advantage Of little 19 year old girls Yeah pay her She's only 19
Wait. Also, man, our pregnant thumbnail is doing so good right now, guys. What is it? I'm genuinely so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed to be associated with this podcast right now. Guess what he's doing? Checking for the time. I was just curious because we got to film another episode. Dude, Mav is always checking for the time. We got to film another episode. Time.
Wait, wait, wait. Did you just ask for the time again? Yes, because I have another topic I'm going to bring up, but I'm saving it for the next episode. If we're almost done, I'm going to bring it up in the next one. Listen, just for future reference, I always have the time. Look. But you could be distracted. No, no, no. Look, let me show you. Look. Stopwatch. Yo, this is flowing by slow.
She's like, I want to leave already. She's flowing by slow. Yeah, no, because I have a really good topic to start. She just wants to leave. All right, well, I guess we're going to start the next episode. Thank you so much for watching. Bye. Whoever has the most viewed video using a clip from this podcast on TikTok or YouTube Shorts, we're going to be personally FaceTiming. Post as many times as you want, but make sure to tag the podcast and use hashtag the LOL podcast in the title slash description. Good luck, and we hope you win.