Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Oh, what's up guys? Today, today we are doing something. You get that every single time. Where did you get that?
Give it to me. See, that's the problem. Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim anymore.
if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more.
Little bean yes, no yes the Harper off-camera when she doesn't get her way She said I have a pickleball. I said you ever play pickleball. She goes yeah I say you play at Lantana court. She goes why no say she said no don't say where we live Maverick Joe Can you believe that oh my god? Please tell me that's crazy It's not called that even but yeah, and then she said no I don't play there. So where you play?
My backyard. I have a court in my backyard. I do, guys. It's true. Also, there's something in my eye. Harper, how much was your... Balsa, get the thing. Remember when I said spoil little rich kids like Harper don't have any respect? She just lied. She does not have a pickleball court. I've been in her backyard. How much was your aloe sweatshirt?
I don't know, $130? Wait, wait, wait, what was $130? Huh? My sweatshirt. Are you really like a rich kid, though? Well, yeah, she just answered it. What do you mean? Your sweatshirt is $130. Did you buy that yourself or did your mom buy it? Myself. Would your mom have bought it for you, though? No. So it ain't daddy's money. No, it's my own money. Never mind. It's my own money that I make. Never mind, she's a rich independent woman. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I buy my own food, my own house, my own... No, you don't. No, you don't. My own socks, my own shoes, my own... You don't wear socks. Oh.
Yeah, we found out Harper only wears socks to the podcast. When she comes to our house. The rest of the time, she does not wear socks. She does not wear socks. So her feet smell very wet. Guys, I'm very excited. One of her friends ratted on her. Smell my feet. No, I'm okay. I'm very excited for the day that we are like, because right now we shoot in our house, but I'm really excited for when we have a studio and we can wear shoes on the podcast. Woo!
That's actually true. I feel like we can't do that. Oh, I'm going to wear shoes and I can't wait. We're going to have a studio so we'll be able to wear shoes because we don't wear shoes in our house. But even if we get a studio, I feel like we just shouldn't wear shoes on the pod. But then how will Matt show off his cool things like his socks? Yeah. I got socks. Guys, check these socks out. Ready? Okay. So this is the white sock and that's the black sock. What's on it? They're friends.
Because white and black can be friends. What is this? Except Cash's socks, they don't hold hands. Yeah, my socks were racist. He had white and black socks on each other's hands. Ending racism one sock at a time. Put a sock in it. Link in the bio. Wait, let me see it. They hold hands? Yeah. You want a pair? Yo, that better be a short. I'm not gonna lie. That's so...
- Hey Michael and Maya, you better make this a short. - Here's the thing, we were filming a club video. If you guys haven't checked out our club channel, go check it out. We film like really funny videos on there. - Slight plug. - Yeah, so go check it out. That's where these are from and I still haven't changed. - And you get the explanation there. But we're not gonna tell you why he's wearing them. You have to go watch the video yourself. - You weren't in one of the clubs today, it was just me and Kat. - Gotcha, gotcha. - That's where the flamethrower came from. - See how it is. - Which you gotta play with this flamethrower after. - Where is it? Hand it over.
Nope. Yeah, bring the flamethrower. Wait, yeah, where is the flamethrower? Alex, can you get the flamethrower? Wait, guys. Where is the flamethrower? Well, I see the plug for it. We are in our house right now. Yeah, it's fine. I don't think that's a good idea. No, no, no. No, it's fine. It's a good idea. Get the flamethrower. Where is the flamethrower? Harper, if you play with the flamethrower in my house. Somebody find it. Hey, Joe, where's the flamethrower? You're not welcome back. Hey, Joe. Where's the flamethrower? Am I the only person in this house with reason? Kate, calm down. It's just a flamethrower. Y'all want to know. They act like...
I'm a lunatic you guys. They act like I'm insane because I don't want things like a flamethrower being played in my house. You're just like not a rich kid. Yeah. I'm kidding. Oh, let's go. Give me that thing. Oh, that might get demonetized. What? Why would it get demonetized? Because it's a flamethrower. It's fine. Oh. No, don't stick your foot in it. Oh.
Look at that! Look at that! That is hot! It sounds like a jet engine. Yo! That was loud. My palms are sweaty. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She said, let me see that. Do you see her eyes? She was like, let me see that. What? Oh my gosh. She's freaking out. Feel her hands. Feel how sweaty they are.
That is, that is. That's going to get demonetized. Sweaty hands. So what was it like growing up as a? Rich kid. A wealthy individual. We're about to hear so many lies, it's crazy. Well, I was born into a, rather say, rich family. And I was, I was put up for adoption.
I've never told anybody this, but... She's literally lying through her teeth. You were not put up for adoption. But how is she so good at it? I got put into a more rich family. Oh, okay. Joke's on you. More rich family. It was way more rich. It had like...
Two pickleball courts. Two pickleball courts. Not one, two. Yeah. And also three infinity pools, which was... You know what an infinity pool is? Duh. What is it? The pool that I have in my backyard. No, no. What's an infinity pool? It's a pool where
where the water runs off the side. Oh, okay. So, yeah, I grew up in a home with three infinity pools, two golf courses, two pickleball courts, almost three. And, uh, we're getting like, I, so right now we have a, um, what's it called? Um, a bowling, a bowling alley, like five. So we have one in my room, one in my sister's room, two in my parents' room. Um,
yeah, and, uh, we're getting two more installed tomorrow, so I'm really excited about that. You guys really like bowling, huh? Yeah, we do. Um, also, yeah, it's, it's really fun, I guess. Um, I sometimes get bored, and so, chauffeur! Um, yeah. Do you ever set the nanny on fire? Yeah. Yeah.
Father, let's set the nanny on fire. We light the torch on fire. And no, but yeah. And then I also grew up in Great Britain, which was, it was really fun.
Great Britain. Yeah, it was really fun. That's where the rich people lived, guys. Yeah, absolutely. That is true. Where's the accent? Elon Musk, he... Wait, hon. It faded. You know what? It faded, your accent. No. Yeah, this is me back in my hometown. My accent's not faded. What's your hometown called? Britain. Okay. Britain. Neva, what's the town? Great Britain, Britain. What was the suburb? The suburb? Yeah. It was...
Two cans of shut your mouth. Anyways. I think she's telling the truth. That was two cans. That wasn't even one can. I dare you to... Back in my normal voice. I dare you to do a handstand and fall on your head. What the? So...
Wow. All right. Well, that was lame. I'm so glad you did that, Harper. I was hoping for more of like a... Get this off me! I was hoping for more of like a... What was like one of your craziest birthdays growing up? I know you had some crazy birthdays. Did you do birthday parties? Oh my gosh, Harper's Sweet 16 is going to be fat. Oh, it's going to be so fat. Oh my gosh, can we be invited? No. Oh, what the... I'm kidding. She's acting like Bobby Alltop. She's like, no. No. No, you can't. Wait, what was the biggest birthday you've had?
Like actually? Yeah. Yeah. Like don't lie. Like you just lied about. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Tell the truth. Tell the truth this time. I mean, I guess I went to a hotel in Dallas. I mean. But you went to a hotel for your birthday? Yeah.
Yeah. I did that for one of my friends' birthdays. What is it when people do that? I heard that growing up too, like people would go to hotels for their birthdays. Why do you go to a hotel? It was just like fun. It was just like, you know, you decorate the room and then you get to go swimming and then you wake up in the morning and there's a breakfast buffet. Exactly. It's like everyone just gets to be in a hotel room and like play games and have fun all night. Like at your house?
It's just a hotel. It's better. It's not your house. It was a hotel. Because you're paying for it. Well, we weren't. We were like 10. My parents couldn't afford a hotel. Okay, shut up. We're talking about my rich things. God, I'm getting... No. Okay, wait. Cash had a clip of me. We had holes in our floor and our roof, actually. You want to know a true story about a birthday? My sister one time... I was stalking your sister's TikTok.
And look what I found. You were stalking her TikTok? Let me get my phone to show you the screenshot I got. Oh, gosh. Okay, well, she is right here. Apparently, Harper was stalking my sister's TikTok and has got a screenshot. We didn't actually have holes in our roof and floor. We only had holes in the walls, which we put there. Very reasonable. Okay, I got... Yeah, so show me the screenshot. And then I got a story about an actual sad story about my sister's birthday. While she finds the screenshot, I would just like to apologize to...
I saw a clip of myself talking about your hometown and I actually sounded really mean. Oh. Yeah, my parents texted me and said, my parents texted me and said, stop talking crap about our hometown. I actually feel so bad because I wasn't trying to be mean. I thought I was being mean. Oh, who's that little cute little handsome boy?
I hope our baby looks like that. No one wants to see it. No, you guys gotta see it. It's already on their screen, man. It's me, by the way. Here's the thing. Our town, be it though, very small and nothing really there. Oh, we talked about this in the car. We would never have chosen to grow up somewhere else. It's very weird. I love that town. I would never, ever go back. So would you move back there? Do you love it enough to move back? I wouldn't go back. I won't say never, ever, but I probably won't go back.
But I would not choose a different place to grow up because as a child, it was so fun growing up in a small town. I can see that. It was so fun. Yeah, that town was... The fact that you guys could like... Did y'all like roam Main Street and stuff by yourself? Yeah. I mean, it depends. We never could have. Saturday night, we out. Yeah, like I never could have. Me neither. Yeah, like I will say, I did love growing up in a small town. I dare you to fall back in the chair. I did that and you won't get up. I did not.
I can do that. Yeah, but no, I was making fun of Henrietta and I feel really bad because I actually don't hate Henrietta. I was just shocked that I didn't get cream cheese at the Walmart. You know what Kate would be really good at? Huh? The Bobby Althoff chick? Yeah. She could do that impression for a podcast. Easy. Did y'all hear Alicia Keys at the Super Bowl? Poor girl. Yeah. Who's Alicia Keys? The one that went, So happy.
That's quite a bit loud. Was it bad? I thought the Super Bowl sounded good. Wait, she sung at the Super Bowl? Yeah, the piano chick. I thought Usher sung at the Super Bowl. Oh, yes. She was the one in red. She was the girl that you were like, who is that? And then we were like, yeah, that's not his wife. Yeah, that girl. Oh! Yeah, he was all up on Shaquille. Shaquille. Alicia. Oh, Alicia, yeah. Wait, what's her name? It's not Shaquille. That was not her. Alicia Keys. Alicia Keys. Usher likes Alicia Keys.
Bro, the whole time we're watching the Super Bowl, I'm just waiting for Justin to come out. I never did. I was so sad that it didn't happen. I was actually putting... I was like... Or Taylor. Taylor's there. I literally had money on the line that Justin Bieber would come out. Oh, was that a bet you made? Yeah.
My bet did not hit. You did? That was a bad bet. Like, Justin's only performed once in, like, three years. Well, it paid out good, okay? That's why I put money on the line. There was actually a bet that you could do on the betting apps that aliens would invade the Super Bowl. That's true. It was $1. You can bet $1 and win $100,000 if aliens invade the Super Bowl. Which is not very much. I was like, I feel like the odds should be more. Like, I feel like I should win, like, $10 million. Yeah. If I'm right on that, I better get a...
That means I told you that's happening. Oh, yeah, my story. I forgot about my story. My story. The sad birthday story. My sister was having a birthday party, and my mom went to the store and got her some Oreos for the birthday party. Oh, no. This is sad. Whatever. What the? Yo, all y'all are on y'all's phones. Sorry. What the? Sorry. I just got a message from one of your exes. I don't have an ex.
Was it your ex? No. Your ex wants you back? They may, you know. All I know is I'm their favorite. Anyways, my sister was getting some Oreos for her birthday. Or my mom bought them for her birthday, like for when all her friends come over. And me and Mav ate the Oreos before her birthday. Like her birthday was the next day. Me and Mav ate them. And then my sister... Wait, that whole pack?
Oh, yeah? Mav does mess with the mic a lot. Well, no, I was just fixing the cord. I was fixing the cord. Chill. It was the first time I touched it. And Mav ate the whole thing, and then my sister cried in her bedroom alone about it because she was like, I don't have any Oreos for my birthday party tomorrow. And she didn't want to ask my mom to get any more because she thought my mom couldn't buy any more Oreos because we didn't have enough money. That's sad. And your mom was like, I want to buy her more Oreos. We weren't struggling that bad.
I think she just wanted to cry. Girls always be doing that. They be finding reasons to cry. No, you're not, Daddy. Oh,
No, your sister was definitely like... By the way, guys. By the way, we did have money to buy more Oreos. You told me, too, that you thought... You were like, I thought we were going broke. Oh, my mom always made us think we were broke. My dad says it, too. Yeah. My mom, she's like... She be hiding money. She's like, you know, my mom, she's like, she stashes money under the mattress, under toilet seats. She's stashing money everywhere. Yeah.
I opened up a toy store and dated P and I'm like, oh my gosh. And money just fell out. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah, that happened. No, but she does stash money. You made it sound like your mom was like,
we're not gonna have enough to pay the bills this month she does do that she does she's like she's like always stressing about the money i don't know how it's gonna work and my dad's like it's gonna work it always works it's fine yeah and my dad was never stressed about it and we were like okay this is kind of weird and turns out she was like we don't uh this is gonna be hard to make ends meet this month and then next month she's like so we're going on a ski trip we're like what and she
He's like, yeah, we've been saving for the ski trip. I'm like, oh, so that's why I couldn't have my chicken nuggets from McDonald's. Wait, I have an idea. And we throw the basketball around, catch it. We have to catch it with one hand. And if it falls, we aren't the richest. I'm pretty good at catching. I definitely got more money than you. Yeah. Where's the ball? Oh. I mean, I'll be real. We played this game for a while. No one dropped the ball. Okay. Okay.
Okay, so whoever doesn't catch the ball with one hand is not rich except Harper can't catch with one hand I can I did it before. All right. Well if you drop it you're poor. Okay ready? This is oh Oh my god. Whoa now go to math. I'm, sorry math You better get it to me i'm gonna really focus okay Game over. She's broke She's broke. No, she dropped it
No, that was my throw. You didn't catch it. No, that wasn't an intentional throw. That was very intentional. No. I feel like Carmen. Intentional grounding. You threw it out the ground. I don't know if anybody knows what Southmore is, but Carmen always acts like he's poor. No, Carmen is poor. So he always makes fun of other people for being poor. Oh, he is poor? Yeah. Carmen lives in a hot dog. So he doesn't want to be one of the poorest. He's like the poorest kid in school. So anytime a poor kid comes in, he's like, ha, you said poor? You're the poorest kid here. Oh, that's why he won't.
wanted that tablet that one time and his mom was like we can get the off-brand tablet and he's like no mom yeah he's like i don't want to i don't want to enjoy it that's funny cash wants to name our car cartman oh yeah i don't feel like cartman but i think token would be a good name why is that token because your car your car is gray and mine's white oh so what's your car's name gonna be
- Cartman, mine could be Cartman. - No, I wanna name my car Cartman. Guys, I bought a car, or we bought a car. - Finally. - Well actually, it's more like kind of, did you see their car? - Yeah. Hey, does it mouth ?
No! Cut that! Cut that, please! What did I think of that? That was a good joke. Yeah. We can't cut that. No, we can't cut that, but we definitely gotta bleep that. What? Did you hear that one, Joe? We're not bleeping that. Did you hear that? What was said about me? No, no. She said this, and you can bleep. No, just bleep it. That doesn't need bleep. I said. She said this. Hey. Oh, that's not. It's not okay to make fun of. Oh, wait. Oh, this.
Yeah, I got it. Oh. He's like a very disabled person. Well, to be fair, my car does malfunction because it has not seen his socks yet. And we think that my car is racist. It is racist. Joe's car is racist. I have to, for it to drive with autopilot. Wait, he has a Tesla, by the way. Yeah. Same one as you. And it's white. And same one as me. No, it's not white. What is it? It's gray. Gray. Gray.
Same car? We all three have the same car. All of us have the exact same car, but Matt has a white one. Me and Joe's got gray ones. Our autopilot works fine. What am I going to pick? Let me let Joe say. So what happens is at night, I literally have to drive with an iPad flashlight on for it to see my face to activate autopilot. But he says he doesn't have to do that. Yeah, so it has to know that you're awake so it looks at your eyes. But I don't.
It always sees my face fine in the dark. It doesn't see my face fine. Okay, but Matt has white interior and you have the black interior. Yeah, but y'all have a black interior. Either way, it's racist. Are you sure? Yeah, Elon Musk is racist. It's very clear. I don't know because... No, Elon Musk is African American. What? No, he's not. He's what? Yeah, he is. He's African? Yeah, I met someone this weekend who's like from the same place he's from. He's from like... He's like from Cape Town. Shut up.
- No, no. - Well that has to get bleeped. - That is not what that means. - What? We have to delete that? - Well, welcome back to the episode after Harper says something she wasn't supposed to say. - I think that was fine, that was funny. - No.
But can he right because he's black I have the same question. No, he's not he's not black. He's african-american Yeah, so if you're born in Africa, but you're me or an American you're an Africa ways that right? Yeah, but I also think that that just doesn't work in general. There's because there's way Way more white people in Africa than there are black people. Well, yeah, so yeah, so that's my bad No, just if you're born in Africa at all, you're an african-american, right? Yeah. No, no, you come to I
If you're born in Africa, and then you come to America, you're African-American. Oh, like Katie Heron. If you're born in Africa, then... So technically, anybody can be an African-American if your parents were born there. I dare you to go right there and go backwards. No. You won't get up. Yeah, I won't do that. Isn't that stupid, though? I should not be called an African-American then.
No, you're just American. Joe, you are American. No, no, no. Yes. You're not American? I'm just American. I shouldn't be called an African American. I'm not from Africa. Oh, you gave me a touchy subject now. Some people about to go crazy. Wait, so I should be called Irish American. Huh? I'm an Irish American. So then what's your, like...
- No you're not, you're not Irish at all. - Is there a different word? - Yeah, uh... - Like what's your bloodline? - I should be called no soul. - I mean, do you guys ever feel like money is just flying out of your accounts towards subscriptions you don't want anymore? - I bet if I asked you what subscriptions you're paying for and how much you're paying, you wouldn't even be able to name them all. - And I know it's annoying to cancel subscriptions,
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And canceled subscriptions. Cancel those unwanted subscriptions. Go to rocketmoney.com slash lolpodcast. That's rocketmoney.com slash lolpodcast. That's rocketmoney.com slash lolpodcast. I don't know, but everybody's from Africa.
Everybody? Yes, come on. Have you read the Bible? I mean, yeah, I mean, yeah. If you believe in the Bible, everyone's from Africa, from Egypt. I don't believe that. Right? I believe the Bible, I swear, guys. I mean, yeah, technically, I guess. So we're all African-Americans is what we found out. Yeah, that has to be true because Adam and Eve. Oh my gosh.
Yeah, I should be called African-American. Wait, you should be? I should not be. Oh, so what would you be called? Just, I guess, American. Black American, white American, Chinese American. We're Chinese? Nope. What's up? What's up what? Chinese? Yeah. What are you about to say? I feel like it's about to be very racist. Maverick, demonstrate your socks. What? Oh, so Harper, when you see a person of color, you hold hands.
Yeah, they don't want to hold hands. I feel like that's racist for you to say though. Maybe they don't want to hold her hand. Okay, don't hold hands with everyone. She's trying to make them go to jail. Can you imagine her walking up to me in a grocery store? I heard I was supposed to hold your hand. We have kids all over now just walking up to people. They're like...
Kids all over America. Every candidate that's watching this, please, if you ever want to show kindness, go hold a stranger's hand. Trust me, it will get you in the long run. Guys, don't. You don't hold hands with strangers. No, hold hands with strangers, take candy from kids, and also get in the white van. You never know where it will take you. Disclaimer, disclaimer. Everything he says is don't take. You'll never know where the white van did not take you. Everything she says is a lie. Kate's okay. Don't listen to me either. Wait, what was my thing? What?
Yeah, y'all hear that? I'm the only reasonable person on this podcast. Do the opposite of whatever Cash says to do. Hey, you miss 100% of the opportunities you don't take. So if you don't get in the white minivan or the white van, then you won't have anywhere to go. That was so good. Thank you. Wow. Hey, everybody do their best vibrato. Wait, what is that? You don't know what vibrato is? Come on. It's when you go like... Wait, y'all... Okay, y'all both took singing lessons and did you take singing lessons? Yeah, Matt's gonna take...
What? Yeah. How am I supposed to know what that is if I've never taken singing lessons? No, I'm pretty sure the chick always told me, yeah, your brother sucks at this. Every time I go in there. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. She'd say Cash is definitely not doing his practices at home. That's what she would say. Because I can tell he sucks. No, she wouldn't say that part.
She would give us stupid little lessons to take home, bro. Is this it? That I'm not going to do. The teacher? Yeah. No, but she knew they were stupid and I wouldn't do them. She was assigning me opera from the 1800s. And I was like, we both know. We both know I'm not going to go home. I did them. We both know in my free time, I'm not going to go home and sing opera. Well, don't you think it maybe would have built your voice or something? Yeah, maybe you could sound like me. She didn't know what I mean. She was like...
But that would have been, don't you think that being able to sing like that would have translated over to like, don't you think being able to sing like that would have translated over to like the music you make? Um, have you heard opera? I will not be listening to it.
No, I'm sorry. No my piano teacher and voice teacher. They used to make me do those I'm also going to humongous pimple right here Guess what work when we were taking the singing lessons. Oh, no Yeah, what if she watches this? No, this isn't about her. This is about you. Oh, oh
When we were taking the singing lessons, she would assign us opera to go home and sing. And Matt would try to attempt his sometimes. And then... I did the homework. No, no. And then I caught Maverick. Don't dog on him. Y'all were paying for singing lessons. Yeah, I'm not even looking at my money's worth. He's like, Maverick actually practiced. Guys, he actually practiced. He did what he spent the money on. That's crazy. So what were you going to say? I walk in his room.
And homie was listening to non-assigned opera, not for practice. He was just listening to opera for enjoyment. No, I was not. It was the exact same. He was, bro. And I said, what are you listening to? And you're like, well, I mean, some opera's good. No, no. I was probably listening to classical music, not opera. Yeah, there's a difference between opera and classical. Every once in a while, like once a year, I'll turn on some classical music while I'm cleaning or something. Classical music is like...
That is opera. There's a huge difference. That's classic rock, my friend. Classic rock? So it's classic music. No, classical music is not that. It's very far from ACDC. Then what's classical? Oh, classical. Classical is like the violins and all that stuff. Oh, like Beethoven. Yeah. Beethoven? Beethoven. Is that a dog? He said Beethoven. The dog. Just like the dog. Hey, well, you know what Cash told me? Huh? When we were...
Youngins, just little babies. We were probably like 14, 15. I do not know if this statement is true. I'm scared. You know this is true. He told me, he was like,
guess what i'm doing on facetime guess what i'm doing every day now and i was like what he was like i watched a video on how to become a millionaire before you're before you're 25 or something and he started he started taking bubble baths lies lies lies he would get a box of chocolate and he would take bubble baths because that's what the dude in the video lies lies lies lies i would never say we were just talking about how joe's baby has a bath time and you were like i wish i had a bath time no listen i
I would never say, hey, Kate, I watched this video on how to become a millionaire. You did, though. And it told me to take baths. So I'm going to start taking baths. I would never say that. And then you bought chocolate to go with your baths. But you said I told you. I didn't shoot. You did have to.
Bro, he had chocolates, bath salt, epsom salt, candles, the bath, the bath bottles, pink bubbles. I specifically remember you telling me one time, okay, I'm going to go, and I was like, oh, what are you doing? And you were going to take one of your baths. Yes, but I didn't say I watched a video on how to become a millionaire. No, you totally did. You did. How would I know that, Cash? Yes, you did. I remember this. Well, gosh darn it, the bath worked. Take straight a tip. Yeah, so who's laughing now? Oh.
Did you take any baths? Did you take any baths?
did you take any baths i i did i did i was i'm a bath here's the thing guys yeah if you want to be a rich kid like cash and harper you just gotta take a bath take a bath with some chocolate and some bath salt get that bath bomb the pink bubbles play some music chocolates dim the lights down that's key it's just so funny because it's like he took like three or four baths when he was 14 and it just it
It took, man. I guess whatever ritual he performed when he was 14 carried on over. It took, man. No, I'm kidding, guys. But... Oh, did you see I Spy? Well, we're not kidding. You did take the baths. Well, yeah, I did do the baths. But I'm not a millionaire, but I'm on my way. So I got to get you a bath. You're not a millionaire? You're not a millionaire? Are you a millionaire, Harper? No. I feel like you're a millionaire. I mean, I don't know if my parents are, but I'm not.
You don't know? Actually, yeah, I don't know. They won't tell me. Tell me. You don't know if your parents are millionaires? Cash is a millionaire. Well, well, well, if you know how much your house is. Cash is a multi-millionaire. What? Like, genuinely? Yeah. Oh, please enlighten me. I would really like to find all this money. Are you hiding something from me? Cash is a multi-millionaire.
Are you actually? It just hasn't hit yet. Well, when I die, he'll be a multimillionaire. Okay. Okay. Oh my gosh. If y'all both die and Maverick doesn't have a wife, I am set for life. You know his money would go to my parents, right? Oh. Yeah, but our companies would all go to her. Yeah. But your parents could take some. Or what percentage of our companies go to? No, your 50% of our companies would go to our parents. They would? Well, mine got to. You should change that. Mom. Put it in my name until you get one. I got a mom to take care of, Kate.
You do realize your parents might be dead. What? No, we're talking like a mad guy. Yo, what's up, guys? I just want to take a second to tell you about our sponsor, Factor. They have easy and tasty meals that can be delivered straight to your home, made by chefs, and approved by dieticians. They have over 35 different meal choices available to you.
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factormeals.com slash lolpodcast50. Go right now. Check it out, guys. That's code lolpodcast50 at checkout for 50% off, guys. See y'all later. Isn't it weird we all die? Let's not talk about that. No, no, no, but like think about it. No. Maverick's dying before Cash is. What the? Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on board. I want to get buried first for sure. And then... You know what I love to say in every room?
one of us will be the last one alive here and that's me hey guys my name is harper and genuinely it could be any of us yeah yeah i could die one of us is gonna look back one of us will be probably 75 80 years old we'll look back and be like remember that podcast yeah they're all dead oh don't say that guys stop this is not what the podcast is about you know what makes me really sad is i okay off
It's kind of off topic, but I didn't watch classic movies growing up. So like 90s, 2000s movies. No, no, no. Listen, 90s and 2000s movies, I'm culturing myself now. So I'm trying to watch all the popular ones. And I'm one of those people, you watch a movie, you have to look up the whole cast and see what they're doing now, what other stuff they've been in. And it's gotten to a point where at least-
Like I feel like over half the time I look up the cast and like at least one of the main characters is dead now. And it makes me so sad. I was like, what did I just watch recently? How to lose a guy in 10 days. I was like, oh, oh wait, no, no, no. It was 10 things I hate about you. The main guy. I was like, wait, are those both movies? They're two different movies. Yeah. I know. I like always mix them up, but it's 10 things I hate about you. I was like, wow, what else has this guy been in? You watch those kinds of movies? I love them. Most actors kill themselves. Rom-coms. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, they're PG. Yeah, but do you think he's good for you? What do you mean, do I think he's good for you? I don't know. Maybe it'll give you ideas of what your marriage should look like, and maybe it's not real. No, I actually look at that, and I'm like, wow. I'm glad my relationship's not like that. Oh. Maybe you should keep watching them. Maybe you should keep watching them. I'm actually very... No, like, some of the shows I'm watching, I'm like, why do these couples do the bare minimum for each other? Like, do y'all hate each other? It makes me realize how blessed I am. You guys hear that? I do not do the bare minimum.
I do the bare maximum. Okay, okay. You do something. I don't know about that. You guys want to know something that's very annoying that Kate does, actually? Speaking of looking up movies. She looks up movies. I spoil so many movies. Where in the middle? Yo, yo. It's so annoying. Y'all, so annoying. She spoils all the movies. I want to switch it back to sadness. She'll be in the middle of the movie and she'll be like,
You want to know what's annoying? Oh, y'all get on your phones. Yo, I'm looking at stuff for the thing we're doing right now. This is what I posted on my story today. Five hours ago, I said, what would happen if I just left my house at 3 a.m., turned off my location, drove my sister's car to the airport, and flew across the country and deleted every social media and just started a new life? I don't know what would happen.
Well, you would probably do that, which you just described. You know, like, but wouldn't that be crazy? Like, I ghosted everybody. I just started a brand new life. I deleted everything. I moved to, like, Tokyo where nobody knows anybody. And then just... Nobody knows anybody? Yeah. I think they know people in Tokyo. Well, like, they wouldn't know me. And I would just... They might. I would just start a new life. Yeah. Anyways, Cash, what were you saying that's so annoying that I do? Every time me and Kate are watching a movie...
She looks it up midway through once up like once that intense thing happens and like somebody's about to die or something She looks up and she's like does he live at the end? Does he live till the end? I know that but she's like she looks at me. She's like don't worry. He lives. I'm like what?
Might as well turn on the movie. No, no, no. Listen. He's mad at this one specific time. We were watching. One? You think this happened one time? We were watching. Okay, this has happened a couple times. I know what happened in Gran Turismo. What is that? Oh, yeah. The racing movie. I like spoiled that for myself. I was like, oh, he gets in a wreck. That's really sad. Yeah, we're literally watching and she's like, oh, he gets in a wreck and almost dies. I wonder if they put that in here. Yeah.
Why we're watching the movie. I'm like, probably. We just probably haven't gotten to it yet. Yeah. And then sure enough, he gets in a wreck. And I'm like, oh, well, now I know he lives in the wreck. No, but he's mad because, which this is just kind of your own problem. Because we're watching Planet of the Apes. And the main ape, he almost died in the second movie. But obviously he doesn't die because there's a third movie.
So like, I just looked it up and I was like, because I get nervous watching movies. When I watch movies and something scary is happening, I don't enjoy it. So that's why I look it up. If I know that he's going to die, I'm like, okay, I can calm down. I know what's going to happen. If I know he's going to live, I can calm down. I know he's going to live. Like, I don't care to get the whole, the shakes watching a movie. Sweaty palms, that happens a lot. I don't like it. It does happen a lot. Every movie when an intense scene happens, Kate starts getting sweaty palms and she'll like sit up like this. And then I look at her, I'm like, I look at her, I'm like, Kate, relax. And she's like,
And she's like all tensed up. And she'd be falling for it. Like on the edge of your seat. Like she's literally on the edge of her seat. She's watching movies. And like, like war movies. What are y'all talking about? We're texting her crush. Yeah. He's snapping. He's like, hey Maverick, nonchalant. Stop being nonchalant. Come on.
Stop being nonchalant. You're such a hater. Nonchalant. Stop being nonchalant. You're such a hater, Harper. Do you like him or not? He literally has to be picking rose petals like, she loves me? She loves me not. She loves me? She loves me not. Alex, do you love us? I don't like him, guys. Do you love us? I don't like him. Do you like working here? Yeah, that's why he was... Wait, wait, wait. I like him and I don't. Wait, wait, wait. Alex is about to say, do I like working here? Yeah. It's all right, but I think I should be paid what I'm worth, Maverick. You should be paid what you're worth? Yeah.
Legally, I don't think we can pay you that little. Legally, we can't pay you that amount. I'm so sorry. You gotta at least make it a wage, man. Come on, take it. What's that, $7 an hour? It's even lower. Legally, that's not allowed. Sorry.
Yeah, we get it. Some people want it all. Hey, but by the way, guys, let's try to sing the national anthem in our best voices ever. Nope. Nope. We're not going to do that. We did not do that. We have. We did it on another episode before. No, we did the Pledge of Allegiance. Oh, yeah. Did we? I nailed that one. Oh, yeah. That was when I found out the Pledge of Allegiance and the national anthem were different. Bro, you went bass pro shop has, but I don't even think you've ever, like, when was the last time you went fishing? Listen, I don't care about the bass part, but I am a pro at everything. Are you a pro at crop dusting?
I am a pro at crop testing. He is. You wanna see? He is- No, no, no, no, no, no. He is a pro. Actually, I said- Actually, I was at- I was at Perry's Steakhouse, which is a- No! Like a five-star steakhouse. No! And it's a very, very fancy steakhouse. And the dress code is like 10 levels. And I was there-
And I accidentally crop dusted people. You did not. I did. It's a good thing you didn't say that to me in the restaurant. I purposely didn't. Because we were walking to our table. No, they're just trying to enjoy their meals. Are you kidding me? They're paying like $500 for a meal and then they're like... They probably thought there was a plane driving by them. All they heard was...
You're not cut out for fancy restaurants. Yeah, I practice it. All those people. You may be good, but grandmas, they be the best. They be walking across the living room and it sound like a machine gun. You're like, what was that? Really? Old people? Oh, yeah. All old people, they go crazy. No, I have a special talent. I can do, I can sing a song, but in the tune of a different song like this. That's cool. Piper, more like Piper Garrett.
Oh wait, that was kind of impressive. Oh, you want me to try it? Yeah. But do it, do the something. Um, so do that too. So Bloody Valentine. Yeah. I don't know what that song is. I don't know either. Uh, you do it. You'll be Bloody Valentine. No, it's You'll be
That's the regular one. You didn't change the melody. I can't do it. I can't. There's no way. Do one of your songs. Some people want. Oh, wait. No, that's just the original song. It'd be like. Wait, were you saying the melody or the tone? The melody. The melody. And sing different words. Like this high.
More like Piper get rocked or like um or like twink. Oh my god wait Twinkle twinkle Some people want it all What's the next line? What are you doing? You don't even understand what's happening He's just making it up on his own Cash no! No stop! You don't
It doesn't matter you're singing the wrong song. I just say it some people want it all you're not supposed to sing it You're supposed to sing another song in that mode dear Lord. Can you guys make the rules clear? Yeah
She said sing. Some people want it all. No, yes, but not the words. You sing the melody. You sing the melody. So like, oh, it's flipped. Yeah. I see. You want me to do the reversal I just did? Yeah. No, I don't even think. Yes, yes, yes. So you want me to sing like this? Bunch of the words I love. Oh, wait, wait, wait. I didn't realize that's what you did. Oh, she did it. Okay, do it now. What song? Same one, same one. Five.
Rock L. More like Piper get rocked. That's not it. Yes, she did it right. No, you do Come and Go by Juice WRLD. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. She's going to sing the original at the same time. No, she can't do it. Definitely. Watch. Ready? Listen. Here I go. Piper. Rock. Rock.
I'm sorry I don't listen to forget Alicia Keys. Okay, I do man, okay
Okay, you do it, Cash. She's my favorite artist. Okay, do it, Cash. I just figured out who she was at the Super Bowl. All right, ready? Go. All right. Some people want it all. More like Piper Raquel. I'm calling it.
You told me you were gone now you just took it off
See, that's easy. I know. Do twinkle, twinkle, little star. Like twinkle, twinkle. But to the. Dude, come and go. Juice world. You don't. Wait. Twinkle, twinkle, little star. I just want to go in this one. You told me you wanted all. No, no, no, no, no. Dude, it's easy. What? No, do twinkle, twinkle, little star to some people. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Twinkle. Wait. That one's hard. That one's hard. Twinkle, twinkle.
Little star. Oh, yeah. You hit that so good. You guys just say melody over and over. Can we end this podcast? I want to get off now. Okay, Matt, what would you like to talk about? What would I like to talk about? You know what we haven't talked about on this podcast? Is the Apple Vision Pro. Guys, did you all hear my voice crack? Some people love it. Oh, yeah. Okay.
Matt's about to actually blow. Oh, I'm about to blow. I'm about to blow like I crop dust. Like the blowtorch. Listen, I'm about... If we took votes to vote someone off this podcast, right now I vote myself. That's how that works.
That's not what unenjoyable says. Matt, in reality, who would you vote off? Wait, we should do that in the comment section. Everyone comment. If you had to vote someone off, who would it be? I know it wouldn't be me. Comment this. Comment, I vote blank. Because... It's going to be... Yeah, do it because. Say, I vote... Say,
Say, I vote blank because, and then say you're because. It's all going to be because of me. I already know. I vote Maverick because he's the type of guy. Dude, I still see those comments these days. Maverick's the type of guy. I know, and it's all the same ones. But if there were new ones, it'd still be funny. Let it all out. Yeah, at this point.
I hope I don't have the most comments. I want y'all... Never mind. What? Honestly, I don't care anymore. I was going to say I want them to be as mean as they can to me in the comments. As mean as they can to you? I want to see what they come up with. No, let's not be mean. Be as mean as you can to Kate and we'll see what you come up with. Wait, I was just saying don't be mean to Maverick. Yeah, they shouldn't be mean to me. You're right. Be mean to Kate. No, don't be mean to my wife.
Be mean to Kate. What? I was talking about the gremlin. Oh my gosh. The gremlin's my wife. Oh. No, no, no, no, no. Oh! No. No, don't be mean to Kate. No! Don't be mean to Kate. I forgot! Be mean to Mev. The Bros Podcast. Oh! My gosh! We got big news! Probably the best news that you've ever heard! Probably the best news that you've ever heard!
Huge, huge news. So, the huge, huge news is big news. So, you guys see this? LOL podcast. Okay. We're going on.
No, we're not. That's not what we're doing. So, LOL podcast, right? We started another podcast called LOL Bros. So, it's pretty much exactly what we do right now. But it's way better. It's way better. It's way better. And Kate...
Wait, you're silent. Yeah, so if you're wondering what would happen if Harper and Kate weren't here, how funny it would be, it's hilarious. Okay, we do talk about different things. It's definitely a lot more different topics. A little more mature and a little less immature at the same time. Yeah, so if you guys want to go watch a more mature slash immature at the same time type of podcast...
It's called LOL Bros. So nonchalant. And it's just the dudes. Me, Cash, Alex, Joe. Harper. Just cutting it up. There should be a link in the description. In the description of this video it says LOL Bros channel. Wait, y'all have a whole new YouTube channel? Yeah. Yeah, we're starting a whole new podcast. Can you believe that? That girl's coming soon. Right, Harper? I'm out. I'm out. She's like, I'm not doing a podcast with just Kate. I can't. I'm not doing that. That's it.
Just Kate coming to us. Just Kate. That'd be funny. Just talking to yourself. Like, come on now. Gosh, what would I even talk about? Hey, go. You'll figure it out. Just go all the way backwards. But yeah, if you guys want to go watch the LOL Bros, link is in the description. Yes, sir. It'll say other channels. Go watch that. And then if that channel does good, guys, if that channel does good, then we are also going to start LOL Girls. I also forgot we had gifts for this episode. We have gifts? Yes. Oh, gosh. That's so scary.
I actually threw the bag in the trash and someone got the bag out and put the gifts back in the bag and then I saw it up here. Wait, we actually have gifts? Does anyone know where the gifts are? Do we actually have gifts? Yes, I did that, actually. Wait, you put gifts in the trash bag? First of all, that was a good quality bag, but I was like, well, I need to put them in something to carry them.
We actually have gifts. As you can see, Kate did grow up poor. She can't throw away a bag. She got it out of the trash. No. She said, wait, we can't throw away the bag. No, because Maverick put this stuff on the counter and I was like, well, it's sitting on the counter. It's stupid. It should be in a bag so we can carry it upstairs and it has somewhere to sit. Me first, me first, me first. Okay, okay. Throw it across
- No! - Taze Harper! Taze Harper! Taze Harper! Taze Harper! Taze Harper! - That's a lawsuit waiting to happen. - We gotta figure out how to make a battery out of this thing. - Yeah. - So, Harper, pick a color. - No, no, me first! - Pink! - Mav! - Mav! - Pick a color. - A color? - Yeah. - Green. - Pink! - Oh, can I pick a color? Can I pick a color next? - She said pink. - So what color do you want? - Pink! - There's not another pink. - Purple! - Mav-vert. - Okay. - Mav-vert. - Yeah? - I don't know if this will be out yet. - Oh, it'll be out. - Mav-vert. - No, no, no.
We're just playing with it. Oh. LOL slime? What is this? It's not LOL. Is it? LOL slime? Oh, God. It's really bad. Oh. This is horrible. Great promotion, Harper. What is this for? Oh, I'm so excited. Wait, this is actually nice. Guys, if you want to buy this, don't. What? Wait, this is actually nice. It's just been sitting. You just got to play with it for a minute, Harper. Here's activator if you want some. Okay. This is nice. Look at this. Oh, it catches. Looks good.
Wait, yeah, I want that one. It's like the slime from Nickelodeon. No, this one's solid. Can I try that one? No. I'm taking my wedding ring off because it's going to get dirty. No, this one is amazing. It doesn't even stick to you. Is that butter slime? I don't know. I don't know what type of slime it is. Mine's pretty dirty. Wait, just dip your finger in it.
- Oh, y'all are gonna ruin your couch. - Don't put it in the black. Okay, yeah, there you go. You can drip it on the black. Now mix it around. - Okay guys, we got so distracted with our new toy. - Guys, slime is a, this is, oh my gosh. - Wait, I want that one so bad. - This feels like sherbet ice cream. This is exactly how I feel like sherbet ice cream would feel. - Cash, this is like, oh! - Oh God, no. - Cash, when you're ready to switch with me, let me know. - All right, you can have it, babe. - Yay. - Here you go. - I'm so excited to try this one. Cash is gassing it up.
Oh! Alisa, babe. Whatever you put in this... Who's Alisa? It's my friend that made it. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Wait, listen to the pops. Listen to the pops. This is nice. Whoa. This one's not bad. I don't know why you were hating on this one. That one was just a little sticky. It wasn't bad. This one's a little sticky. Do you guys like slime? Do you guys want to play with the slime that we're playing with right now? That one's amazing. Well, it won't be this slime. Oh my gosh! What happened to Matt's hands? My hands are crazy. Guys, what happened to mine? Did y'all ever see the black Spider-Man? Yeah. What the...
Can you shut that off, Alex? Oh, no. What is Maverick? Alexa, stop. Hey, Alexa. Maverick's going to go in there. Oh, it's on the carpet. It's on the carpet. Oh, my gosh. No. No. Cash, stop trying to get it stuck. I see you. Oh, guys, guys, guys. It's getting everywhere. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, thank you guys for watching. I'll see you guys. It's a mom Tony did what time are we at uh? 47
It's 47 minutes. Oh Harper dropped it. Oh no Harper your clothes are ruined. Oh my gosh guys. Don't get on the couch. Harper already did. I'm so sorry guys.
Everyone
Guys don't buy this. Kate's good at getting stuff off. Kate help me. Guys so in case y'all were wondering we were thinking about starting a slime business and selling slime. This was our first batch. Okay so we're gonna work on the recipe. This was the worst promotion ever. It's not a promotion it was a test. Yeah we have failed.
But there may be real good slime for sale now. Yeah, we're gonna start selling slime soon. We're going through like a- Cuz this episode goes out in like a month. Yeah, we're going through tests. We're definitely gonna make more slime like the green one because that one is banging. I feel like the symbiote from the Spider-Man Venom. Venom. Get this off me! I felt like the symbiote. Yeah, we're definitely gonna sell slime like this guys. Don't worry. Harper needs help. Guys, I'm turning into Joe. This is the slime that we will be selling.
I'm turning into Joe. Guys, we went through this before and I just crushed- Oh, I remember that. Yo, that is crazy. How is Kate like such an expert with slime? I know, she came over here and she rescued me. Look at her, she's like picking it up. I was like a lost puppy. Where's your bucket? Oh, right here.
I was literally like, I didn't know what to do. I was freaking out. She came over here and she's like, don't worry. I've been trained. I know how to do this. I'm a slime expert. I went to slime college. I'm CPR trained in slime. Literally, if slime ever gets on you guys, just call Kate. Oh, no, there's a little pink slime. Did you see how quick she came to the rescue for us? There's some in the carpet, too. I know.
Oh no, man. Oh no! Oh no, not the gremlin. Oh, it's on my sock! Dude, yours looked so fun, Cash. Yeah, mine was fun, but you guys ruined the fun. Well, this slime had also been sitting for like a week, so. Wow. I gotta go barefoot, guys. Slime got on my sock. Ugh, gosh darn it. And everything fell over. How is Kate so good at it?
Yeah. Alright, well, that was definitely... The green slime is the best one. So guys, when we sell slime, it will be like this. Don't you worry. That will hopefully not happen to you. It could. That's half the fun, honestly. Is it ruined, do you think? I don't know. That was my favorite part.
Alright guys, well I guess thank you so much for watching this episode. If you guys have it, go watch our podcast called LOL Bros. We just started it, okay? We need your guys' help to get the channel going, to get that podcast going. So go watch the LOL, or it's called LOL Bros. Go watch it at YouTube, Spotify, wherever you want. We'll see you guys next time. Peace!