Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
At one point at this Airbnb, we got into a fight. I pull up and he's like, "Hey, unfortunately, you're gonna have to go in the pool." We're like, "Yeah, we're gonna grab him. We're gonna throw him in the pool." And I like went full-fledged like, "Ahh!" And then Matt gets me in a chokehold. It wasn't like a light choke. It was like, "I'm gonna pop your head off." And me and Matt were yelling at each other going, "Yeah!" And I was like, "Oh yeah? Well, you know what all of us think?" Guys, I just got an email to be in the Amazon influencer program. I need to wash my hair.
We know. It's too late for that. I'm kidding. Yo, watch it. Yo, her dad is in the craziest Amazon program you've ever heard of. Yeah, actually. It's insane. I'm listening, but I also have to read. I'm going to pull my toes. No, Mav, stop reading. I'm going to pull my toes. I got to talk to Dawn. I'm going to pull my toes. Dawn. Okay. Okay. Her dad, the program, Mav, guess what her dad's program is. What? What would you think it is? What has he got? Amazon Prime? Let me tell you. Amazon Prime. No, no, no. No, no, no.
He does not have Amazon Prime. He has Amazon Free. Yeah. Amazon Free. Her dad does so many reviews on stuff. They invited him to be like a professional reviewer. And he is. What? And he gets how many items is it? Three. Three items a week. No, a day. Oh, a day. It was three items a day up to $100 each item for free.
From just reviewing Amazon products? All I have to do is leave reviews on it. What? So he can get three items every single day. Bro, no one told me that was a job. All the way up to $100. No one told me that was an option. Right? And so she's like...
she's like her mom was like oh yeah she just always gets like he always gets amazon packages and she was like opening her stuff up and she was like oh yeah this is what we got today oh i wonder what we'll get tomorrow every day how literally like i don't even think you could think of three things to buy each day but like you can't we gotta get on this there's nothing you can do there's nothing you need to do it you just have to review and like they just ran though they might randomly invite you but he's done it for like five years and then he got invited yeah
So, better not to. Chop, chop. Dedication. Moral of the story, leave reviews. Hey, I left my first review, my first Yelp review. Was it a Karen review? No, it was. No, I didn't. No, no, no, no, no, no. The only people that read reviews on Yelp are Karens. You should see my Yelp review. Like any time I'm at a restaurant. No, y'all should see my Yelp review. You leave Yelp reviews? Yes. No, you don't. What do you say? Let me, let me, let me. Where's my phone?
Okay, well, she does that. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on. Why do you do that? Where did my phone go? It's under there. Can I leave a review on Yelp? No. While she gets her reviews up, I had to leave a review because we went to this restaurant and our server was like, please leave me a review. The waiters are having a contest and I want to win. And I was like, I got you. And I did not get her. She got exposed.
What? And then we go back a week later and I get the same server. And she's like, I hate to bother you guys, but could you please just leave me a review? And I was like, when we got her again, I went and I left her a review. And I was like, she's been so great. But yeah, I left a review because I felt bad. Sorry, guys. I'm trying to fight it. I want to see Harper's review. Do you leave bad reviews? I've never left a review on anything in my life. I'm not even kidding. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, my name is Joanna S. So nobody knows it's me.
I'm trying to find... Wait, how do you see where your reviews... Oh, here. Oh, Matt, read them. Suggested businesses. All right. We're going to read Harper's Yelp reviews. No, Joanna's Yelp reviews. Oh, yeah, yeah. We're going to read Joanna's Yelp reviews. Maybe our activity feed? Oh, no. Harper, are they bad reviews?
Yes. What? You're leaving bad reviews? Like you're going out of your way to leave a bad review? That's messed up. No, it's not. He did my nails really bad. Oh my gosh. Trust me. What? Trust me. That's gross. Because, Harper, me and my friends have yet to find a nail salon in our area that doesn't freak our nails up. I hate some of them. They're actually so... It's like, I got these done...
Two weeks ago. And half of them have popped off. Yeah, I don't think I've ever had a girl be like, oh, I love my nail salon. All I ever hear from girls is, I hate my nail salon. No, in the last six months, every time I go, because I was going to this one lady for like two years, and then they started breaking more often. If you guys hate it so much, why do you keep going back? Because I feel so girly whenever I get my nails done. But it doesn't last very long because they break off a week later. I should probably get my nails done. Not like done, just like maintained. Yeah.
I can maintain your nails. Because sometimes it gets out of hand. My nails be like that long sometimes. Oh. Oh. You know what I'm saying? Don't. You know what I'm saying? Wait, are you joking? Like this long? Yeah, about that long. Yeah, he gives like really good scratches. And the winters, I grow them out.
um so anyways harper yo you haven't found these reviews bro hey yo i'm looking through everything find reviews on yelp wait what do you mean how do we find our own reviews on yelp like that's my question yeah it's not like an activity feed not seeing it
I'm wondering if Harper's is making this up again. No, watch. You mean Joanna? I don't know. She sounded pretty mad at the nail salon. What is my guy doing on a brow threading thing? Well, I'm just trying to find stuff. Trying to find some places to get your brow threaded. Come on. I'm trying to see. Have you ever left her? Have you ever left her?
No, I've never left a review. I will say, I do read reviews for my sake. And like, a majority of the time it is Karen's who only go on, which is why when you log on and you see like, oh, this place is rated one star, it's because nobody goes out of their way to leave a good review. Yeah, there's like, I dare someone to go try to find a five-star restaurant review on like a fast food joint. Actually, no, because... It don't happen. People only go there and rant about how
bad it was. I pray our dad doesn't start leaving reviews. He became mad sometimes at people. Luckily, he don't care about reviews. Man. I will say. I was on FaceTime with him going through the drive-thru literally 10 minutes before this pod. I was like, man, this drive-thru is taking a while. They're just up there talking. Dad's like, let me...
You need to talk to the manager. Ask to speak to the manager. From Oklahoma. And I'm like, no, I'm not going to do that. I can't find it. Wait, it's in the one star reviews. One star reviews? No. No, trust me. You would do it too. Oh, man, Joanna. You would do it too. Oh, speaking of reviews, I have a horrid one. What? Speaking of reviews, I have a horrid one.
But unfortunately, it was vice versa. The review was left on me. Oh, no. On Airbnb. Oh, that is true. It's bad. Can you find it? I have a screen recording. You have a screen recording? I have a screen recording of the chat because it's stuck in me and my friend's chat, Michael and Maya. Why did you get a one-star or why did you get a bad review on Airbnb? I don't know if we can even pop the pictures up of what I did to this Airbnb. What? What?
Wait, was it? I was 16. Was it the Airbnb in Anaheim? That's crazy. Yeah, that is why you don't Airbnb your property to 16-year-olds. Was it the Airbnb with the gummy bears? No. Was it the Airbnb with the sticky notes? Yes. Yeah, it was that one. Well, first of all, the one in Anaheim, we ruined their concrete. Hold on, let me tell you the one about this review.
First of all... Y'all are terrible. Wait, this is people's like... What are with these reviews though? Hundreds of thousands of dollar properties. There was another one where we held Parker down and we shoved Sour Patch Kids up his nose. Yeah. And then there was a Sour Patch Kid fight and it was on carpet and they got smushed into the carpet everywhere. Yeah. But this one, we had an idea for a YouTube video or for a TikTok. So I stuck colored sticky notes like pink and green and blue. I stuck sticky notes all over the wall.
And then we just left him up there the rest of the time we were there. What? And then we were like, we'll take him down before we leave. Oh, okay, okay. But we were there like a week. And then after we left, they all fell to the, like a lot of them fell to the ground. And they stained like the floor. Stained the wood. And they were like, because like it got wet. We were swimming and stuff when we came in. And you don't walk.
all over the paper and stuff yeah yeah we did we did that's the most like 16 year old thing ever and luckily luckily that was even what they left in the review yeah that's the good part yeah yeah at least to the problem I mean all I have is this little screen recording of a chat bro I'm scared but let me let me uh
Can I pause? How do I pause? At one point at this Airbnb, we got into a fight. Oh, with who? Well, me and Cash got into a fight there as well. Like a joking fight? But Parker decided to hit on our other friend's girlfriend in front of him as a joke. But the guy's a bodybuilder, so I don't know why Parker did that. Yeah, for real. Like, this guy's jacked. And Parker's like, scrawny. And this guy's like, jacked. And Parker's like, he's like, hey, Ariana, um,
He said something. He kept grabbing her hand. Yeah, he kept trying to hold her hand and then he was hitting on her and stuff. And finally, this guy had enough. So he made Parker. Well, okay. He made Parker what? Tell me. Well, it was my idea. I was like, Robert was getting mad and I was like, Parker. I was like, Robert. Robert's the bodybuilder. Robert.
Robert, come on, man. I was like, Robert, if you're so like mad, why don't you just throw him in the pool and make him take off all his clothes and then throw his clothes on the roof? Just an idea. Just an idea. And I'm not saying to do that, but that's just an idea that's out there. Me personally. You couldn't do it because you're a bodybuilder. And you can do that because you weigh 250 and he weighs 120. So, I mean, do that what you want. He's like, yeah. And he goes out there and it's,
Dead when middle of winter like oh that pool should have been frozen. It's so cold. It's like end of December and it's freezing. And he pushes him in the pool or he grabs him and throws him in the pool. He was like ah! And he throws him in the pool and me and my friend Michael are just watching like oh god. And like you know we're not going to interview you. It doesn't have to do with us. And then he's like now take off your underwear.
And he makes him butt naked. Gives him all his clothes. Oh my gosh. Robert takes him and throws him onto the roof of the house. Bro. And this kid is just in the backyard of a pool. And he's just butt naked. Butt naked.
But he deserved it. It is not bullying. He deserved it. I will say, he deserved it. That's why I didn't help him. You know what I mean? I was like, you did hit on the guy's girlfriend all the time. Yeah, come on now. Right in front of him. And it was like, he knew that was his girlfriend. And so I was like, you did deserve it, so I can't really help you here. But yeah, that was pretty bad. But then I did feel bad. Jeez. You're right in the middle of a story. I'm sorry. I did feel bad later on. And... Sorry.
Okay, I did feel bad later. Okay, I did feel bad. You guys got COVID-19 or something? No. Ew. Who says COVID-19? Yeah. You just say COVID. It's Corona. Or Corona COVID. Not COVID-19. Coronavirus 19. Anyways, I ended up feeling sorry for him a little bit because he was out there freezing his butt off. Like freezing his butt off. So I got him a rag about this big.
And I was like, here you go, man. How generous. He's running around like this. He's talking on the windows. He's like, let me in. Let me in. Did y'all let him in? No. No, we didn't. Well. The story's with Parker. Should we save some of them for when he's here? No. Yes. We'll talk about it again. Parker Hill. Parker Panel. Parker Panel. Who's that? He's a Nickelodeon star.
Hello. Okay. Then we walked out and Robert was like, he hasn't had enough. So then Robert grabs spoiled milk that's been sitting out for like five days. This is going to make y'all sound like real bullies. Out of the fridge. No, no, no, no. I was just videoing it.
no i did nothing besides video so not me and robert holds him down to the ground and pours milk on him and we have a video of that too i'll throw that up i know we had a video we'll throw that up um i don't know if i have the video but yeah we do have a video of that that's crazy oh wait this guy yeah yeah i know him how do you know him
He's my best friend. Do you talk to him often? What? Do you talk to him often? Yeah. Oh, wait. My Airbnb review. Oh, yeah. What did they say? So, all I have is this screen recording, but I'll throw some up. So, oh, no. Oh, my gosh. I mean, I guess we can put this on there. Let me see. Let me see.
Wait, y'all didn't flush? Why? That wasn't my room. Listen, I would have flushed. Who makes that make them a dump? But the funny part is I can see in the screen recording of the chat here that we argued with it. We were like, but like...
really, is it our fault? Like we said, we said, first of all, like we were coming at them. We literally said, first of all, you didn't, you didn't supply us with a plunger. Oh my God. Sound like their fault. You know what I'm saying? You can't be mad at me for clogging the toilet. If you didn't give me the plunger. Bro. Here's the kitchen. What's your opinion on that?
Look, here's the kitchen. That's crazy. Oh, yeah. We left it. Here's like the bathroom. It's more of the bathroom. I think there's, yeah, there's blood on that stuff. I don't know what that's from. From what? Multiple fights happened at that house, so I don't know. Oh, there's more of the kitchen. That's crazy. That house, dude, I have so many memories, and we were there like less than like a week. Yeah. What was they saying?
Oh, they were pissed, for sure. It was not good. Yeah. Yeah, so it was, yeah, it was bad. Wow. And then this other movie we stayed at. Y'all are actually, that's so bad. You know what's crazy? This is like the one time I think like, like, me and Kat, actually, I mean, maybe not the one time, but we got into a real fight there.
Wait, can y'all do a real fight right here? Hold on. What did you just say? This is the one time. Sorry, not the one time. We used to get in fights like that every three months. We actually got in one just literally a few weeks ago. What was it like? What was it like?
This one? Okay, so he... I pull up, and he's like, hey, unfortunately... Wait, keep in mind, we just poured spoiled milk on Parker. Yeah, so they're kind of... They're kind of in a bully mood. We're like, yeah! Who else can we make upset? Who else can I sick Robert on? And then Matt rolls up, and he's like, hey, unfortunately, you're gonna have to go in the pool. And I'm like...
What? Do you know how cold it is? I'm not going in the pool. And he's like, no, you have to go in the pool. It's like part of like, like you have to. Because all of us jumped in. Yeah. So they had all been in the pool. So they thought for some reason I needed to go in the pool. It's like initiation. Yeah. No, no. I'm freezing. And I just dyed my hair and I didn't want the chlorine to turn my hair green. And I was like, I'm not getting in the pool. Let me tell you this part.
So then it's me and the bodybuilder and two other guys. And the other guys are pretty big too. And it's us four versus Mav. And I'm like, all right, guys. We're all like, yeah. Cap's like, we can take it. We're all like, yeah, we're going to grab him. We're going to throw him in the pool. It's going to be great. And we're there. And then Mav like. It was like three, two, one, grab him. And then I grabbed him. No way. And they were like grabbing him like, oh, Maverick, get in the pool. And I like went full fledged like, ah. And then Mav gets me in a choke hold. And I was not worried. I was like, get him, guys.
And they're all just watching. I was like, get him. He's like about to pass out. He's like, get him. And then they were all just laughing watching it. I was like, what the heck? We were all supposed to go forward. And I wasn't going in there with zero strategy because there's four of us. I was like, ah. And then Matt grabs me, chokes me. And then that started an argument. Yeah, so then when I let him go, he was big mad. Because then I was mad because, hey, those guys didn't have my back. Yeah.
And second of all, Matt has been choking me for a minute. And I was like, what the heck? And it wasn't like a light choke. Like, it was like, I'm going to pop your head off because if I let him go, like, I knew he was, I was fighting for my life. It was 4v1. Yeah. And then, like, I don't know what happened, but something pushed come to shove and then Matt starts chasing me. Right. Like, after he let me go, I, like, shoved him down or something. No, you started chasing me. No, you were chasing me. That makes no sense. Oh.
Oh, you're right. Yeah. I was chasing you. You were chasing me. And I ran around through the back house. Maverick lets me go. No way. I'm chasing him all. We're going over fences, running everywhere. And then we're running through the house. Maverick goes inside the house and I'm following him. It's like a long hallway. There's like a long hallway. And he goes all the way to the end of the hallway. And then he hides behind the corner. And I'm full sprint running down the hallway chasing him. But he's like 20 feet behind me. And instead of the hallways like this. Shh.
He runs, Matt runs all the way down and then cuts right here. And I'm still running down the hallway. And then Matt starts running this way. And so we're running like this now. I hear him coming and I'm like, five, four. And I take off running. And then right as I run, Matt goes, boom. And hits me into the wall. I'm not even kidding. He flew to the corner. He flew like all the way up. He was about six feet off the ground. Like levitating? Yeah. Wait, so you guys wouldn't try to levitate? Yeah.
It was like both of our energies just collided and I didn't go anywhere, but all the energy together sent Cash just flying. And he was smaller than two. And I just went, boom. And then we got in a huge fight and some words were said. Remember those words? Yeah, we knocked the painting off the wall. Those words were bad. Those words were bad. Those words were very bad. Unfortunately, we can't repeat it.
Yeah. But like, Cash said something and he was like, and all of our friends agree. And I looked at all my friends and all of our friends just stand there and they're like, we're not saying a word. Everyone's just watching like all six of our friends. No one said a word. And me and Matt were yelling at each other going, yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh yeah, well you know what all of us think? And I said something and I was like, right? And I look at him and everyone, everyone does this right here. They were all like,
It was bad. I was like, look down and go on their phones. Because everyone agreed with Cash, but nobody was going to say it. Wait, what was it? What was it? We're not talking. I can't say it. You can't say it. What? Because it wasn't really to do with me and Cash. Yeah. Yeah. It was bad. And then they didn't have my backs again. Like two times in like five minutes. Bro. I have a story to tell y'all.
What do y'all want for your Christmas list? Or what do you want? That's not a story. That's not a story, dog. That might have been the worst story I've ever heard. Wait. Harper, do you and your sister ever get in physical fights like that? Yes. Physical? Very physical. Like physical? I pulled this move.
Ah, not that move. No, no. That's the worst move when your sibling's like... No, and then... No, like, I'm the person who bites, punches, and kicks. Do you bite? I was that one. Yeah, that was me. Yeah, yeah, I bite. No, Cash has to do that. When they're bigger than you, you gotta bite, kick, scratch, punch. I remember the one thing that would make me so mad is... And I remember specifically this one time, I wanted Cash to fight me so bad. Like, we were mad at each other. Oh, this was a good one. And I was like...
I was ready to like fight. This is a good one. And he was not ready to fight. And I was bigger than him at the time. So he was not like trying to fight him. Whoa, whoa. But you weren't trying to fight. First of all, no, you were not bigger than me. Okay, maybe he just didn't want to fight. You were not bigger than me. I was literally bigger than you.
Oh my gosh. That was like three years ago. Yeah, honey's such an ego thing right now. I'm talking about when we lived in Oklahoma. Oh. Yeah. So it was like definitely like six years ago. I'm talking about a different fight. How many fights did y'all get in? Quite a few. And so he ends up going to the floor in like the fetal position and he's like, I'm not going to fight you. And I'm like, get up and fight me. He's like, no. This did not happen. Yeah. And that made me more mad that you wouldn't fight me. That made me so much more mad.
I don't remember this one. The one I remember is we're in a hotel room and he's mad. Oh, yeah. And he wants to fight. Oh, I want to fight. He is mad mad. I was ready to throw hands. And I'm laying in the bed like this. I'm like... And he slaps me across the face and he's like, bam! And he's like, fight! And I'm like, I'm like, mad?
I know you have anger issues and that's okay. And then he hits me again. I'm like, Matt, see, that's the anger issue. And he was like, stop fighting. And he hits me again. I was like, we can get you help, man. It's okay. And I was just letting him hit me. And every time I would just be like, calm down. It was a real like Ryan Reynolds Deadpool moment. It was not funny. He would hit me and he'd be like, hard. He'd be like, bam. And I'd be like, in through your nose, out through your mouth. Oh my God.
Yeah, I hit him like three or four times within like five seconds because he wouldn't shut up. It was bad. No, yeah, me and my sister get in such big fights. First, the biggest fight we've ever gotten to is screaming fights. But when it comes to punching, one time Harrison was over at my house and he started punching my sister. What? Heck yeah.
Let me show you this video. I'm taking this with a grain of salt. Yeah, actually, you're right. But like, equal rights, equal fights. He tries to box me. That's Major L. Yeah, and I can show you a video. Matt, what do you mean, what's the time? Matt's always asking for the time. No, not that we're almost done with the episode. I just want to know what we were at. Okay. I just want to know. What's the time limit? Can I go dance yet? No. My goodness. Kina?
to leave room for when we have to cut the stuff he says. No, this has just been a good episode and I want to keep it going. Oh, yeah? So you killed the vibe. You were like, I hope it's not time yet. So you killed the vibe by asking. I just wanted to know how much longer I had to carry you two in this episode. When you're on a date with a girl you like, do you ask her what the time is in the middle? So I'm just having so much fun. You know, sometimes. Imagine doing that on a first date. You're like...
Bro. Did you find it? No. I don't understand how people... What are you looking for? Can y'all please set me up on a blind date, by the way? I freaking tried. I want to do one on the podcast live so bad. It'd be so fun. Mav told me I'm not allowed to help him get girls anymore. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. What? You don't get girls, Kate? No, he told me I'm not... Wait, what? Wait, what? Hold on, what? Harper says, you don't get girls, Kate? I'm so sorry. It's okay. Kate...
Are we going to let Kate tell this story? No, because listen. No, shut your mouth. If you tell the story, it's just not going to be good. I think it's a meme. Can I say the first part? Yeah. Mavericks always stop talking. Let me say one thing. You already said that to things. Wait, let me say one thing. That's the sound of the police. Woo!
Okay. I say we take a vote between me, you, and Mav on who says the story. I'm not saying the story. Should Kate say the story or raise your hand? I'm not saying the story. But I'm not saying the story. Joe, put your hand down. I'm not saying the story. I was going to say something else. That's good. That's good. Maverick's always like, no, I need a wife. No. Kate, find me a wife. It's okay. My uncle's 32 and doesn't have a wife.
Again, why you got to put people on blast? Wait, your uncle said what? No, no, my uncle's 40 and he doesn't have a wife. He doesn't have a wife? Has he had a wife? Yes. Oh, well, why are you... Okay, moving on. He had his shot. His wife threw a box at his face. His ex-wife. All I'm going to say is I took matters into my own hands and nobody appreciated it. Go ahead and tell the story. That's all you wanted to say is you took matter into your own hands? Huh? Well, no, I wanted to say that I was... You took matters into your own hands for sure. All right.
It was bad. I'll tell the story. I think it's a more... What do you want to tell the story? It's a Maverick story. I think it's a me story. Maverick story. Cash just wants to steal everyone's thunder. I'll let you tell part of it. No, no, no. I'll let you tell part of it. We can go back and forth. Yeah, because, okay. We'll rip. I like that because I feel like I was pretty heavily involved. Yeah, you were involved too. I feel like it is partly a me story. Okay, so there's this girl that's our waitress. And then what happened was... No, she was waiting on us and I was like,
This girl's personality is kind of... She was just kind of funny and cute. She was bubbly. And I was like, all right. And so I just say one little thing at the table. I say, that girl's kind of cute. Kate! I said, oh yeah, she is. Kate was like, this is my chance! This is my chance! I'm gonna take it! I have to do this!
What? What is it? I have to play Cupid. So she takes her phone. I pulled out my bow and arrows. Bro. She takes her phone, and she does one of those things where she writes on it. She's like, I got you. Okay, yeah, she pulled up. So we're just sitting there, having a meal, enjoying ourselves, and we kind of forget that I even said that this girl was cute. And all of a sudden, Kate gets this awkward laugh, twitching, nervous thing. I don't know what she was doing. What? She was like, tink.
We're like, what? And we look over at Kate and she's holding up a sign. She's got a sign up above her head. Cash, can you demonstrate? I'll demonstrate. Why did you screenshot it? You had the sign right there. This is what Kate did.
From across the restaurant. And she's showing the waitress from across the restaurant. If y'all can't read that, it says, my friend thinks you're cute. No way. That's a good move. She's laughing and nervous about it. You can tell she's nervous that she's doing this. She's like, is this funny? I don't know what's going on, but I'm doing it. I'm going to do it. I'm out here. I'm funny. And then the waitress sees from like... No, I was nervous because I didn't want you to... Yeah, we can all tell you were nervous. I didn't want to drop the ball. You did drop it. The second you...
the sign you dropped the ball she never had the ball no one gave you the ball pick up the
And the ball is just not going in her hand anymore. So when you're bowling and you pick up too heavy of a ball, it's like... The girl starts laughing because it's like a glass thing. She starts laughing with some of the other waitresses and cooks back there. Yeah, you can see in the kitchen. So then she comes out. And this is kind of where Cash comes in. Then she comes down and I'm like, oh, shoot. She thinks I'm the one that thinks she's cute. Because he's sitting next to Kate. I'm sitting right next to Kate and Kate holds the sign like this. And then she looks at me and I was like... And then I was like, oh, shoot. Oh.
She thinks it's me. That's terrible. And then she comes out and I took my ring off that day because. What? Well, we were at the gym or something and I took it off and forgot to put it back on. And I was like, she thinks it's me. I got to tell her I'm married. So when she comes back to our table, I was like, oh, not me, by the way, I'm married. And then I, as soon as I said that, I was like, I'm married.
shoot. And I was like, I promise I'm married. And my ring was on. She's like, Oh yeah, sure. Okay. And I was like, no, I am married. I promise it's to her. Oh my gosh. And yeah, yeah, that was bad. And then, and then I had to get into my interrogation because I needed to learn a little bit about the girl before.
Oh, it was so bad. Kate's looking down at the table like this, not even making a noise. So nervous, like shaking. Listen, not shaking. I was just like. You were making weird sounds. Yeah. I don't know what you were making. Kate's looking down at the table like this, and now she starts asking the waitress questions. She's like. As she's just trying to hand us her drinks and stuff. And then she asks this. She doesn't ask like a normal human, how old are you? She goes, are you of age? Oh.
And doesn't even make eye contact with the girl. She's staring, Kate's staring straight down at the table. She's, are you of age? Like, hey. But it's like, it's more like this. Are you of age? Anybody have a chip? Are you of age? Why do I have to make eye contact with her? I'm not the one trying to get to know her. The girl answers. First off, the girl answers. You want to see how to do it? Oh, what's that? Like, how old are you? Not, are you of age? Listen, I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to find Maverick a wife. Are you of age? So she follows it up with, the girl's like, uh,
Yeah, yeah. No. No, no, she says no. Oh, yeah. First she says, no, I'm not. And we're like, what? You look like you're of age. So much worse. And then she's like, yeah, I'm 20. No, yeah. And we're like, okay, so you're of age. And she was like, oh, I thought you meant 21. We were like, no, 18. And then Kate's sitting there and she's like, are you single? No way. I said, do you happen to be single?
And then she goes, no, you did the same thing. You didn't even look at her. She's behind you. And you're just like, yeah, are you single? Yeah, but I didn't sound like some. And she goes, no, I have a boyfriend. And then later we come to find out the boyfriend is also a waiter at the restaurant at this very current moment. Yeah. So he's there too. And then it just, it all goes extremely, extremely downhill from there. And she was like, her boyfriend was there. She was like, yeah, I have a boyfriend. And he saw the sign. He held the sign up. She pulled her boyfriend to the glass
so he can peek through and see it. No way. But I thought he was just the, I just thought he was a friend. A chef. Yeah, so then she comes, we're talking to her for just a second and she's like, yeah, I got a boyfriend, he's here. And we're like, he's here? And she's like, yeah, he's right there. And he was like hiding behind the corner, like almost like spying on us. What? And Cash is like,
It's okay. Come here. Give me a bed. Come on. Give me a bed. And then he finally comes out. And they, I guess, knew who we were. So it was like. Yeah, then it was even more awkward. Yeah. And they were like, do you guys have a podcast? I was like, no. No? No. Wait, so this was recent. Yeah. Oh, this was like last week. Yeah. Yeah. What? Yeah, so moral of the story, Maverick did not bag a wife that night. No, moral of the story is Kate is a horrible wingman. And I'm not. I'm a great wingman. I will not be taking that.
I am just going to keep searching until I find you love. Please don't search from where they're. It's embarrassing. It's not fun. Don't search. Every time we go out, I'm just going to start scouting. Yeah. One day. What do you want on your Christmas list? You really want to know that? Yeah. Are you getting us a Christmas present or something? No. Okay. Yeah. Okay. That better be the only reason you're asking like this. You got free Amazon, so I'm expecting a Christmas present. Just tell me what do you want for Christmas? What? Are you getting it for me?
Okay. What do I want for Christmas? Lamborghini. Okay. I was thinking. Lamborghini Mercy. What? Huh? Anyways. Maybe a teapot. A teapot? What the freak? A teapot? A teapot. I've been drinking a lot of tea lately. You making tea? A teapot. Like hot tea? Oh, yeah. Me over.
Oh my gosh. Yeah, so I'm never gonna... That's like, you really need your blanket if you're gonna have a teapot. I almost brought my cup of tea up here, but I couldn't because I knew I would be trolled. You good? Yeah, this chair is mad uncomfortable. Guys, I'm sitting. Show them what you're sitting in. Get up.
Because I can't really see. I'm sitting in one of the probably grossest chairs I've ever sat in. It is a used, very used car seat with stains. That's right. What are these stains? It comes with the stains. Diarrhea. Ew. How do you know what the stains were? Throw up. You don't know. Okay, well, I got options. You can choose which one you would like it to be. But that's definitely what it's from. Oh, yeah. Definitely a...
Bro, why did you do all that to the car seat? It was only a 40-minute episode. See the stains? Touch it. Look at those stains. Oh, my gosh. And they're not from me. Did you pay extra? Are you sure it's not from you? Well, if it is from me, I forgot. Matt, what do you want on your Christmas list? My Christmas list? A wife.
Yeah. Not from Kate. Mav, I'm going to stick one under the Christmas tree for you. Oh, yeah? Yeah. That'd be a funny video. How would you do that? I would just wait until Christmas morning. How would you stick one under the Christmas tree? Yeah. How would you just like... I just...
You know what I want for Christmas? You drug her. Oh, oh, oh. No, you know what I want for Christmas? You just slide her under there. I've done this before. Bro. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Yo, I'm scared. That's a terrible thing to say. It's a joke. That's not right.
No way. No, no, no, you're kidding. You knocked her out. Bro, bro, no, no. And then you put her under there. You know what I want for Christmas? What's that?
I'm gonna have to think about that for just a minute. Okay, you do that. Y'all talk. You segue to this question. I know you have a Christmas list on your phone. Yeah, I do. Let me see. They consist of like Lululemon. Yeah, all mega products. Lulu. Probably. Aviator Nation. Yeah, yeah. Here, let me get it. While she's doing that, I have a question for y'all. How do y'all do Christmas now that you're married? Yay!
We don't. Yeah, do y'all do gifts for each other? I'm just kidding. Oh, I thought you were talking about... So she buys, I open. It's a great setup. Highly recommend. Wow. Let me see it. Okay. Okay.
You have links? Yep. This is a very official Christmas list. Yeah, I know. Look at this thing. Is that in her notes? It's pretty much tap to buy. Yeah. Just tap right there. Yeah. Sign here. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. $550 for headphones? What kind of headphones? AirPods Max. Those are that expensive? $110 slippers? You can buy those.
Yes. Slippers? Oh my gosh. Bro. You only ever wear socks. Wait, you know what I wore for Christmas? What? Okay, I'm still going to have to think about that, but give me one second. I got your whole list right here. Oh my gosh. I'm trying to think. There's something really special. If you had to add up all the things on that list right now, how much money would you say it is? This is definitely a money list. Like $10,000. You think? Yeah. Maybe $2,000. So maybe $10,000, maybe $2,000. I was lucky to get like a candy.
man this is crazy no i'm telling y'all the kids around here i remember being in school you grew up around here not like that why did you say the kids yeah she says the kids around here you grew up literally a quarter mile down the street from here listen guys i woke up on christmas morning and everyone posted their christmas trees on the snapchat story oh their living rooms i wish i would have taken screenshots because it was like
over 100 presents under the tree. Like, not under the tree. Across their living room floor into the kitchen. There's just presents, presents, presents, presents. Lots of presents. Yeah. Wait, I know what I want for Christmas. What's that? A bucket because I got a bucket. I just want a bucket so I can Like a Home Depot bucket? So I can put all my tears in it and drink them. Sounds so fun. You could sell those. You could. We could auction them on eBay? Yeah. Tears? Yeah. Save your tears for
Y'all making me want to end this episode right now. Why are y'all our biggest haters? Yeah. You know what I saw? I saw the worst hate.
I saw the worst hate comment on one of our shorts. Yeah. Ah, checks. Yes. So we're sitting there and it was one of the clips Cash had said something to me and everyone in the comments is hating on Cash for saying whatever he said to me. What did he say? Something about me being ugly or fat or something. What? Don't just throw those out there. Something about Cash saying me being ugly or fat. That sounds really bad when you say it like that. Well, y'all know the clips I'm talking about. Well, on
one of the clips, everyone's like, oh my gosh, Cash, you're so terrible. Why would you say that? And someone said, this is so bad. Someone said, um, yeah. Should you say this? No, it's because it's funny. They were like, I don't know why. Clap if you've ever been to a fat farm. Is that what they said? No, they were like, I don't know why he's talking about that. She's the best looking one on the podcast. And someone said, they're all good looking. And he goes, I mean, she's not that good looking. She's just the best one out of all of them on the podcast.
No way. I mean, but you are. I was like, no. I was like, come on. Like, I was like, oh. Like, no, that's not a nice thing to say, but like, I'm flattered. And I tried to
My camera must have been cut out. I must have not been in frame. My in frame joke is like, I know that doesn't sound like I'm in frame. Can I try to find it real quick and screenshot it? You're going to go through all of our comments to find one? No, because I remember one. I remember this one. I know you remember it, but I'm saying you didn't. You realize we upload like four shorts a day? I actually think it's just the filter that he puts on the cameras. What? Oh, he doesn't make you look good? What?
That's the sound of the police. Yo, I think it's a 4K quality doobie doing a bath sometimes. Yeah. I don't know if I should see myself in that high definition. Sometimes too high quality. Can we make this a little more blurry? Yeah, you can blur a pimple every now and then. Come on. Wait, actually, could you like put like a filter over my face? Like a beauty filter? Yeah. Like a blurring filter? It's called makeup. Okay. It's possible. It's happening right now. What?
Really? I can't wait to see that. Yeah, I'm excited. Wait, I really want to see that. Like, maybe you can make me pretty. Stop. That's hopeful. Oh, I'm so sad.
Am I supposed to make you sad in the camera? No, no, no. Make me pretty and then sad. I don't know if he got a filter that good. I don't know if the filters can do that. I don't know if it's that strong. Oh, stop. That was mean. Ayo. I am beautiful. She never got it. Yeah, I don't get anything because I... What they say. You guys, I got my blood drawn today. Oh, my gosh. Don't you got to be like 18 for that? Are you stupid? No, to donate plasma. I thought you had to be 18 to donate blood. Nobody says anything when she calls me stupid. Look, look.
Look. So, the reason I got my blood drawn is because I still have three years of growth hormones left. Nice. Really? She literally just called me stupid straight to my face. Everyone laughs about it. Does it look like I care? Where's the comments? Where's the comments of they treat Cash so badly? Where's the comments they treat Harper like... Think about Cash's feelings. Think about how Cash feels like on the inside.
You definitely feel great. Nobody comments that. Nobody cares. But the second I say something about Kate or you, everyone's all over me. Same thing with me. Harper can make fun of my looks all day. Yeah, you're ugly. Yeah. See? All day, she gets to make fun of me. No one says a word. But the second we say something about...
You two. All the comments are wild. Worst husband in the entire world. Wow. Why is she with him? I can't believe you talk to a woman like that. Horrible man. Why would you ever speak to a lady with those words? We're ladies. You're guys. It makes me look so bad because Cash will say some of the most outlandish things on the podcast and then it makes me look bad. They're like, why does she stay with someone who treats her like that?
So you're worried? Yeah, she's worried that she looks bad from dating you now. Oh my God. First of all, I'm married. She just said she looks bad dating you. I do. It makes me, people are like, why? Literally the amount of people that are like, I would leave him so fast. Yeah, I could literally sit here and be like, Kate,
You're a little ugly today. Everyone would be like, everyone would be, oh my gosh, the comments would be astronomical. But Katie could be like, wow, Cassie, you're looking ugly as normal. Can we test this theory? You make a short saying that and I'll make a short saying that? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, each of y'all look as short roasting each other right now. No, we gotta say the same exact thing. Say, Kate, you're looking mighty ugly today. Alright, do one for me, Kate. This is gonna be a short, so people aren't gonna see this part right here. I know, people are gonna think we're so mean to each other. Alright, go. Well, I don't know why you're talking. You're looking a little... Today, you know, like not your best. You've looked better. No way. Wait, are you saying I look bad today? Well, I'm not saying you look good. Like...
Maybe y'all should talk about this off the podcast. Why are you just calling me ugly? I'm not calling you ugly because on the average day, you're not. So you just called me ugly. Nope. Did those words come out of my mouth? No, they didn't. Thank you. Are you kidding me? I think she was just saying you need some help in the beauty department. Yep. What is going on? Okay. Okay.
Okay. Now. Cut. Cut. Now insult me and we'll see who gets more comments. Action. You know what you remind me of? What's that? A whale. No, I was thinking hippo. A hippo? Yeah. Because hippos can only run in water. It's kind of like a school bus though. Can we get that boxy bus? Oh my gosh, you do look like a school bus. Flat face in a big trunk. You know what I'm saying? That is a school bus if I ever saw one.
She could even hold kids up in there, man. She could have like quadruplets. There could be a horse in there. If you have any help with that, let me know. Our clip is cut now. The clip has cut. No way. I'm in real tears. She said she could even put kids
Oh my gosh. She got a flat face and a big trunk. Carrie gets up in there. Oh my gosh.
Please change your bio to a school bus. Just your average school bus wife. Just my face on the front of a school bus? Bro. Can someone make that for me so I can make it my profile picture, please? Maverick thinks he's a Mustang, man. Maverick thinks he is the fastest human alive right now. Hey, I ran a sub-six-minute mile today. It was like five minutes, 56 seconds, so...
Why do you keep saying sub six minute mile? Yeah, sub. So people know what I'm talking about. No, I am pretty fast. No, no, no, no, no. Why do you keep saying sub? Why don't you just say the time you ran?
Five minutes, 56 seconds. I ran a sub-six minute mile. Why did I say I ran five minutes and 56 seconds? I don't know. Why do you hate sub-six minute mile? I have a question. If we had to go around since I am apparently, I give off school bus vibes, what kind of Mavericks and Mustang? She's the short bus. That's for sure. You are a... You said a Mustang. You're a Mustang. I am fast. You know I'm fast.
No, you're just short. Wait, we can't both be school buses. Yeah. You're literally the big bus. I want to be my own school bus. And she is the short bus. I feel like she's more like a bug.
Or like a Mini Cooper. A bug. Or a smart car. Like a Volkswagen bug. Buzz. I feel like I'm like a luxury car. No, I'm thinking more like Mater. You ever seen Mater? I was going to say Mater. I was going to say Mater. You're more of a truck. I'm more like a chow. That's so true. Y'all definitely give off like Lightning McQueen and Mater. I'm not Mater.
Oh, wait, but it does, though. You are, though. Wait, what is Mater's line? Why am I Mater? Wait, talk like Mater. I don't even look like Mater. Because I can say ka-chow. And then you say, no, talk like Mater. Joe, am I Mater? No, you look like...
Hold up. John looks more like Mater than I look like Mater. No, he does. Alex is Mater. Alex is 100% Mater. I actually have a video of me when I was 14 with Haley and we literally were like, Alex is Mater. Like, Alex is so Mater. Wait, so then what's cash? What? You know it did. I'm no longer Mater, so I'm happy now. No, you can be like Mater's right hand man though.
Lightning McQueen? No. I'm down for that. No, like I'm talking like I'm a right hand man in the shop. I see myself as Lightning McQueen. You know, you know, Mater also has a dad. I take it back. You know what Harper is? She's the car off. Off. What's that? What's the movie called? Zootopia. Is it called Lightning McQueen? I was thinking Judy Hopps.
What's that? It's not even a car. The rabbit from Zootopia. It's not a car. How are you thinking about a rabbit when we're talking about cars? I was just like, do you need the main character? Is it called Cars or Lightning McQueen? Cars. Okay, Harper's the one off Cars. You know the one that's like, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee. Is it Felice?
Wait, please wait. I changes the tires you feel like you're a troll are we what's wrong with me from the movie troll? Wait, I'm gonna be a new guy. Hey, are you popping like that? I need a new car a truck I'll give you options Lambo Bugatti McLaren no or that. Nope those don't fit you. What about that? What about yeah? What about like the total you're the junkyard you know those ones that are like? You know the ones that are like like that car
No, you know what you are? You're diesel. Diesel? Diesel's two. No. No, you're gas. Gasoline. Oh, I got you. No! Bro, you're bad for the environment. You're going to ruin the moment. Hold on. Worst things have happened to that car seat.
Okay, if I continue going, another accident's going to happen in this car scene. So I probably should not do that. That's so embarrassing for me. I literally look like I married a man-child. You are, though, married to a man-child. Yeah. Overinflated five-year-old. You know my favorite thing about school buses is that I can't get to work right on this one. What? You know those doors that you can just shut? Yeah. Can't ever get her to shut her door.
Shut the front door. What door? Wait, what door? Her foot? I was saying you like talk a lot. Like, can't ever get you to shut your mouth. Shut your pie. So that joke did not hit. Let's move on. Shut your pie trap. And on that note. We are done for the day. Well, no, we have another thing we got to do after this actually. Oh, we do what? Yeah. There's more stuff we got to film today. I have to do algebra after this and film another podcast. Well, yeah, you wait, what time are we at? Uh, like 45 minutes. Oh,
Joe's shaking his head. Oh. All right. Well, I guess we'll go ahead and end this episode, even though I really don't want to. Maverick secretly just wants to go. No, I have something good planned for the next one. I feel like we're vibing right now. I feel like that's why we got to get the next one cooking right away. Yeah, no. Come back next episode because it's going to be the same vibes. All right. Peace out, bro. Shaka. See y'all in the next episode, baby. Let's go.
Don't do that. Whoever has the most viewed video using a clip from this podcast on TikTok or YouTube Shorts, we're going to be personally FaceTiming. Post as many times as you want, but make sure to tag the podcast and use hashtag the LOL podcast in the title slash description. Good luck and we hope you win.