Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Did you guys ever run away? Absolutely. I ran away last year. You ran away last year. Where did you go? I went down to the lake for like an hour. And then after that, I went over to a random treehouse like in the woods. There's a random treehouse in the woods. Yeah. So you went to it. I went there for like three hours. And my mom was like threatening to call the police and stuff. I kind of can do it. You guys see that? This girl like shoves her neck like out at the side of her neck. Are we doing an intro? All right. Welcome to the podcast. Oh! Oh!
Oh my gosh. I wish I never showed him that. Yo, does it actually look like it? Wait, can you do it? I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. Okay. She can do it. Do it again. Angled. It's because you have like a spiky neck. Oh. It's because you have a spiky neck. Your map dude got a spiky neck. Look at it. Do it like this. My Adam's apple. Oh, dude. His spiky Adam's apple. Yo, you can move it like that. I don't like that. I hate that. What is this on the Hidden Talent episode? Wait, do it. Do it. Like move it. Oh. Oh.
Y'all didn't know that? He flexed it like a muscle. You know how people do their pec things? That's what you just did. It's an Adam's apple. Wait, do it one more time for me. Wait, move your mic so they can see it. I don't think they can see it. There you go. That's wild, bro. You got an alien in your neck. That's so gross. You're teasing it. What? Can I do that right? That's my throat. You don't have an Adam's apple, honey. Wait, don't just guys have Adam's apples? Yeah. Well, do girls have Adam's apples? I think only guys do. Yeah, yours is moving.
Look at how hard he's trying. Ew. Ew. That is so gross. I can't. How do you do it? What muscle are you flexing? You swallow. Oh, my gosh. Have you practiced? Like... No. I can see him looking for my eye. You got to start giving that a conversation. What are you talking about? It's like people are going to start making eye contact with your neck. They're going to start looking. And they'll be like... Does this make you uncomfortable? Yeah, of course. Yeah, how are you today? Uh-huh. Yeah.
I can't. I can't walk. How do you do it? Seriously, tell me. I just move it. I don't know. How do you walk? With my legs. You just move your legs. You know, guys. Anyways.
Wait, you blend into the chair. Joe, I'm not allowed to wear pink because I blend into my chair. How come he's allowed to wear maroon? Nobody told me I blend in. Take your shirt off. He is blending in pretty bad. I know I didn't recognize it. You can just take your shirt off. Yeah. I mean, I do look pretty good with my shirt off. No one said that. I mean, take it off. But everyone knows it. Or we can get you a different shirt if you want. Is he blending in? Please. He needs a different shirt. Should I just take my shirt off? Alex, give him your shirt. Alex, can I have your shirt, please? Alex isn't giving me his shirt.
Don't take it off. What? That's weird. What else is he going to do? Sit here with a shirt and blend into a beach. Have you ever been to a beach? A pool? Hey, we do have another option. Maybe you need a party. I'm wearing the hot dog outfit. You need a shirt. That's all we got. No, that blends in worse. This blends in worse. That's a hot dog. Yeah, it's still all the same tones. All right. Yeah, you need like a blue shirt. Oh, you blinded me. That's better. I feel like a man. Yeah, you look like something. You kind of blend in. You're a little red.
You got a little tummy going. Guys, it's... Oh! Let me count your six-pack. One. No, did you know everybody has a one-pack? Yeah. Wow. Did you know everybody has a six-pack? You just can't see it? Everybody has an eight-pack. No, that's not true. Yes? Your chair is too squeaky for that. Some people have four, some people have six, right? Don't be moving like that. Okay, I won't move. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. No, but some people only have four.
No way. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger only had four. What did you say? I don't know. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold Schwarzenegger is awesome. I took my hat off to take my shirt off. Does my hair look good? Looks so good. Looks good. Arnold had only four. I don't trust you. Yeah, and he was a bodybuilder. Yep. Harper. Yes. You had homecoming this week. How was that? I did. It was fun, but it was very stressful. I got ready with all my friends, and they're so nice. I love them. Wait, before you get into your story.
Oh, he got me a shirt. Joe, did you go into our closet? Joe went into my closet. No, I went into the laundry room. Oh, those were clean clothes in there. But does my hat look better like this? Am I a front type of guy? You're a back. You're definitely back. I always tell him back, but he never thinks back. Yeah, back for sure. I'm front. You're back. Not a hat type of guy. Not a hat type of guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm going to keep the hat. All right, your homecoming story. Put your shirt on.
Put your shirt on, buddy. Why do you all want my shirt on? Because we're all scared. Because we don't want to see that. You got like pepperoni nipples. Whoa. Yeah, I'm a big bad. Okay, you're something. What if we just took off our shirts, Kate? Well, let's not do that. Tell your upcoming story. I'll put my shirt on. Three, two. Oh, you counted me down? One. Yeah, she's going to give you swats. I'm not a dog. Three, two.
Two. One. I got my own pace, sweetheart. Oh, well, my whole coming story, it was fun. So I loved getting ready with all my friends. But let's just say, so before I was like talking to this guy because he broke up with his girlfriend. Harrison? Who? Harrison? No. Some guy. Yeah, just some guy. Yeah. What's his name? Make up a name. I think you're in love with this guy. That's what I think. Hat. Hat.
So hat. No, it wasn't Harrison. And basically what happened was, so he broke up with his girlfriend. Then he started talking to three different girls. Three different girls. Wow. This story sounds familiar. He was using all of us for rebounds. All of us for rebounds. Oh, my gosh. Cool.
So basically, one of the girls that he's talking to right now, we're best friends. We're pretty close. And what happened was he... So he... So he what? And so what happened was... So basically, he... And so he... Hey!
Just talk normal. Show them who's boss Harper. Oh, so. Oh, yeah. So what happened was. So. Hey. That's it. How do you put your shirt on? It is on. No, that's like a crop top. I don't like that. Pull that down. A little too much. I do probably look a little sus. You do. Not gonna lie. Yeah. I'm not sus. Fix your hat. I think you look suspicious. See, look. I'm straight.
So, Harper, go on. Anyways, um, okay, so, after that, um, he, uh... Why are you looking at me? You guys are stressing her out now. Yeah, y'all are stressing me out so bad. Listen, all I hear over here is, um, so's, ands, so I can't even pay attention. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Um, okay, okay. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so, basically, after that, me and that, me and his, the girl that he's talking to right now are pretty close, and he was, like, making her very uncomfortable last night. Oh, my gosh.
And I was also there. And he was like, hi, Harper. And then he kept flirting with the two of us at the same time. But he would keep it in secret. And then two days ago, he kissed this other girl. He's such...
Sounds like a legend to me. No, he's a player and he's mean. Yeah. So that's my story. Well, if he's mean, why are y'all kissing him? Listen, you can say what you want about this man. I know who you're talking about. Yeah. But listen. You know who you're talking about? You said you know who she's talking about. Yeah, I do. It's not Harrison. I believe. Is it Harrison? I believe.
I believe that you're in love. I believe that you're in love with this man. It is Harrison. You said it was Hat. Well, we were trying to keep it like low key. We were trying to keep it low key, Kate. You just keep going saying it's Harrison. Did you not see me? I did not get the memo. Y'all talked about this before I showed up. No, it was really just gathered. I know. We just told Harper, hey, use code names for everyone. Not one letter difference. And then you're like, it's Harrison. Okay, so it's Hat.
So hot. We're trying to keep people from getting cyber bullied and you're just going at it. He doesn't get cyber bullied. People do though. Listen, the man's kissing three girls in like a week. My point is, Harper. He's using all of us for rebounds. Harper is in love. And he sent me hearts yesterday, so. You're in love with him. No. Yes, you are. No. Can I text him? You are. You really like this guy. Please let me text him.
I blocked him. Every single time I see you, you can't keep his name out of your mouth, to be honest. You should talk about him a lot. That's all I'm saying. He said, Harper, it's so funny how you're so obsessed with my life. That's almost like what he was just saying. But it's almost like he has to watch her podcast to know. I literally said, you know what's funny is that you're so obsessed with girls.
A. Oh. Yeah. Did he laugh? No. Wait, yeah, no, because that's kind of like a reverse Uno card. If he's saying, you're so obsessed with my life, he's so obsessed with you because he has to watch your podcast to find that out. Can I text him now? Yeah, I block, unblock, okay. Unblock.
How often do you block? I'm going to text him. How often do you block him, Harper? You Snapchat him a video. Bad friend. Hold on. I have to add him back. Poor Harrison. No. I hope he's not getting bullied. Not poor Harrison. Guys, I was bullied yesterday. For what? Probably by someone that was probably one of your friends, Harper. What? You want to know the real reason we didn't want to say his name? What happened? Why? We didn't want you to bully him, Kate.
I don't bully him. Do you tend to bully children? She's a bad bully. I don't. That's not true. I see you bully Cash all the time. I just said I felt bad for Harrison. Everyone be nice to Harrison because he's only 14. Tell me how you were getting bullied yesterday. Guys, yesterday... This is about me.
No, I didn't do it. I'm, I'm minding my business, sniffing candles and bath and body works and a group of kids walk in and they're probably like 13 or 14 and the girls know who I was. So they were like, Oh my gosh, can we take a picture? I was like, yeah, of course. Like we were practically like this by the end of the conversation. So then I walk away and I continue to sniff my candles and one of the boys in the group goes, Oh, is that really the Tik TOK girl?
She's kind of ugly. What's his name? I don't know. What did he look like? I don't know. He wasn't at home coming. Harper's going to fight him. They weren't like... They weren't... I know your school had them coming yesterday, so I don't know if you knew them. I want names. I want addresses. They weren't like dressed up. I'm going to talk to his mom. They were just in like... I had my mom talk to his mom. Bro.
Yeah, no, I don't actually know if you know them. They were just like, you know, the kids that hang out with that little ball in our area. Yeah, it was like TJ Maxx and stuff. Yeah. So anyways, can I text him? Yeah. He hasn't added me back. And then the kid got kicked out of the store. So let me film that. Do you not have his phone number?
Let me see. Oh, no. My Spanish teacher broke his phone. What? And he got a new number. What the heck does your Spanish teacher breaking his phone have to do with it? Yeah, what? Well, she doesn't have his number anymore. Oh, your Spanish teacher broke his phone. His phone. Oh. Yeah. She doesn't have his number. I'm trying to see. He's not answering. I got a great, great, great, great, great news. What? To tell you. Oh, boy.
And you're probably not going to believe it, and you're not going to believe it. Tell me. Oh, my gosh. What? What are you going to say? So, I was reading the news, as one does. You read the news? Did you guys know that Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift broke up? Who's Travis Kelsey? I believe it.
they broke up wait she practically put his name on the map and then don't she he probably dumped her and so now he was like oh i'm famous now everyone knows who i am thanks taylor but
Yeah, they're not a thing anymore. That's so sad. Really? I'm sorry he did that to you, Taylor. Yeah, Taylor, if you want to come on the podcast and talk about it, we always can do that. Yeah, we can work that out. Or Travis. Long live Swell City. Travis, I know you used Taylor. I know you did. Just like how... Okay, I need to confirm this.
No, it's not true. Oh. Oh, come on. Travis and Taylor, y'all are like endgame. I love y'all. Travis. When this comes out, they could be broken up. Hopefully. I could have just predicted the future. You could have. Who would be kidding? Taylor Swift always wakes up with her man. Wait, do you guys want to predict the future? I mean, should we do it? I predict. Wait, so we all predict one thing that's going to happen in the next week, okay? Okay. I'm going to breathe air.
Wow. Yeah. That's inspirational, honestly. That's kind of stupid. I predict Harper is going to ask her mom if she can drop out of school, but her mom's going to tell her no for the hundredth time. That already happened. Matt, what do you predict? What do I predict? I predict you guys will have a baby. No. Oh. That just got... What's your prediction, Cash? I predict that... No babies? Nope. Maybe babies? Nope. Maybe babies? You wouldn't... I predict that Harper... Yes. Yes.
It's not going to grow. Oh. She is growing. She is growing. Since I've known her, she's grown at least two inches. I don't want to grow anymore. I'm done. You quit? I quit. I just want to be a flyer. I don't want to do anything else. I'm done. I need to be short. That's all she was made for. I need to be short to be a flyer. And if I grow any taller...
My coaches are not going to make me a flyer. Wait, do you actually not want to grow? No. I love being short, but my mom told me I need to. So you're just like, ah, dang, got to grow. Yes. Got to listen to mom. Yes, mom wants me to grow, so I'll grow taller. So I have to grow. No, but like... I don't really want to stay short. I do. What? Being short is a statement. What do you mean? It's not like it's a statement. Yeah, I love... It's Harper's personality now. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently. Yeah. Wait, I have a question. What? What's your question? What?
What do you guys want for Christmas this year? Me? Okay. I have a whole Christmas list planned. So, number one for makeup. It's a little far away from Christmas. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. What do you mean? No, I have everything planned out. All right. Go. Do you have, like, a PowerPoint? Well, I have, like, a PowerPoint on slides. Yeah. Yeah. No. So, I...
It's on my school iPad. I never even made a list. I just kept it all up here. You have a PowerPoint for your Christmas list? Yes. And with links, with pictures, you need all of that. You need all of it to make sure you get the right thing. Okay, that's a bit extreme. And then I have explanations under each individual thing to tell them why I want this. Yeah. So what's at the top of your Christmas list this year? So the top of my Christmas list is definitely a weenie dog.
If you get one, you got to bring it on the podcast. I will. I will. And, um, called me a weenie dog. One of my friends, um, her, her dog's name is bean and it's a weenie dog and it ate plastic yesterday, but it's fine. It's so cute. I love it. It's so cute. And I just want a weenie dog or a loft like my friend who has the weenie dog. So if you, yeah, if you don't get a weenie dog or a loft, what's your next step? Like a loft? Like a place? Wait, what do you mean you want a loft?
I want a she shed. You want a she shed for Christmas? Yes. What's a she shed? A house? I want to live on my own. Oh my gosh, Harper. You're just 14. I know, but I'm just 14, so I need a house. And like, I literally, like when I turn 16, I'm going to get a she shed. It's not Minecraft. You can't just do it. No, I'm getting a she shed. I'm buying one. Are you going to live in your parents' backyard? Yes, I am.
For like a year. And then you're going to move on to bigger and better things. She'll come home when it comes to dinner time. Don't worry. One of my friends, she's... Her name is Morgan and she has a she shed and she like lives in it. Like it's her room. Like it's so cute. It has a TV and a mini fireplace. Like it is so cute. So like the kind of sheds you see outside of Lowe's, is that what it is? No, it's more of like...
I think that's just a shed. What makes it a shed? Let me look it up. She shed? They're like... It's a girl's shed. Feminine sheds. Oh, yeah. That's a thing? Yeah. I thought sheds were only masculine sheds. Well, I guess you can make a shed. No, this one's like pink. Oh. Oh.
I don't know. I don't know if it's like a Barbie dream house or something. I'm looking it up right now. You mean a Mojo Dojo Casa house? Yeah. What? A Mojo Dojo Casa house. What are you saying? I'm saying Mojo Dojo Casa house. What is that? Hello, have you ever seen Barbie? No.
When Ken took over the Barbie Dreamhouse, he called it the Mojo Dojo. Oh, that is a she shed. Oh, that is a she shed. Oh, stop. That is so cute. Can you call it a she shed? I know, right? So you want an office or a second bedroom? Yes, a second bedroom outside with air conditioning. With air conditioning and a fireplace. That's a wild ask. That's like what I wanted when I was like, Mom and Dad, I'm running away. Yeah, it is a wild ask. That's what I thought I was going to be living like. Did you guys ever run away? Absolutely. Yes. I ran away last year. I ran away as a child.
I ran away last year. You ran away last year. I'm not even joking, Mom. Did I run away last year? Yeah, you are about that age. Wait, what? How did you actually run away? And where did you go? So... Wait, first of all, why did you run away? Because I hated it. Your life sucks there. You hate it. Yeah, I hated my life. You wish you were born into a different family. I've been there. Let's go ahead and know what you mean. I wish I had a different family. Any other family would have been better than this one. So I...
I went down to the lake for like an hour because we live like next to the lake and I went down there for an hour and then I went and I have like an orange and stuff and there's a there's there's a um what the heck is an orange ass no no no I went down to the lake I had an orange ass because I loved oranges at the time and I just ate all of them what's that noise it's a bell
Alex, is it your alarm? There is a loud alarm going off right now. So you went down to the lake. You ran away. I went down to the lake with an orange and I ate the orange down at the lake and I skipped rocks and I brought a charger and stuff like a portable charger. And then after that,
I went over to my treehouse and or not a treehouse. It's like a random treehouse like in the woods. Yeah, it's I love it. I love it so much. So I live there for like there's a random treehouse in the woods. So you went to it and I went there for like three hours and my mom was like threatening to call the police and stuff. And I went there for three hours. So you went outside to play for three hours. Was that you running away? Yeah, because I wish my my parents were like, oh, where are they? But they were like, I can help you pack.
Malrick ran away once, but the embarrassing part was he was 16. I also ran away when I was a kid. Little kid. I want to talk about the 16-year-old one. He got mad at my parents. Obviously, same thing. I hate my life. No one understands me. I wish I would have born into a different family. Classic teenage rebellion. He was at that moment. I hate my life here. No one gets me. He was like, that's it. I'm leaving. My mom was like, no, you're grounded from your car. She took her keys.
She took my keys to my car that I paid for myself. And then he did something crazy. I did. Something I've never seen anyone do. What happened? What happened? I'm genuinely saying something I've never seen anyone do in my entire life. And I don't think I'll ever see anyone do it again. My mom took his keys and said, you're grounded. So he took my mom's keys and said, you're grounded. Oh. Yeah, I did. He reversed the grounding. I did. He grounded my mom. So we could just take people's things and ground them? I said, cool.
You're grounded. I was like, what is happening? You grounded your parents? If you just take my phone, then I can take yours. My mom was like, no, no. Then I took her phone. Does your mom pay for your phone? Yes. My dad was like, give him his keys back. They gave each other's keys back. They ungrounded each other. Then my dad was like, I'm running away. He went to go stay at a friend's house for a while. It wasn't that I was running away. It was like, you're grounded or you can leave.
No. Yeah. And I was like, mom, it's like, we don't want you to leave. And you were specifically like, yeah, they didn't want me to leave. But it was like, if I stayed there, I was grounded. Yeah. And I was like, psych, my car I paid for. I paid for every story. He was like, I'm leaving. I'm running away. I'm not coming back. Yeah. After like the big fight. It was a big fight. Yeah. So dramatic. He came back the next day.
I was going to run away. But I did stay. I did stay gone the whole night. No one else years ran away when they've been 16 though. I will. I was 14 and I was like, I went out at maybe 15. I don't know when I was obsessed with cash and I was like, I love him. I'm going to marry him. I predicted the future. Wow. Besides the point I was like, I'm going to California. And I was like, literally like midnight. She did almost do that. And I'm like looking at plane tickets. Oh my gosh.
And I was like, she was on the phone with me and she's like, listen, I'm going to book a plane ticket out there to come see you. And it's going to be great. And I was like, except you're 14 and it's a school week and your parents don't know. And she was like, I'll just take the punishment when I get back. I was like, no, I was just never going to come across. All I need is money. Do,
Do you have money? I'm not supporting this. I'm not funding your little vacation. Bro, you would be willing to pay the price of consequences? At that time in my life, yeah. Oh my gosh. That's wild running away at 14 to California on a plane. Imagine a plane is another. Wait, you're 14 right now. Imagine your mom calls you and she's trying to figure out where you are and you took a flight to California. I took a flight to California, mom. I'm mad at you. Yeah.
It wasn't that. It was that I missed Cash, I hated school, and I didn't want to play softball. I didn't want to go to practice the next day. She wanted to start a new life out west. Yep. So I was just going to go visit Cash and maybe never come back home. And then you talked to some sense in there? He didn't talk any sense to me. He said, I'm not paying for that. Yeah, and I was like, if she comes, I'm going to have to stop playing so much video games, and that's just not good for no one. No, but for real, what are you going to do if your 14-year-old
It's halfway across America. Yeah. It's not like you can fly there in two hours. Just go grab them. Can you please come back? When I was really little, like seven, six, I think I was like six, I decided to run away and I got on my little tricycle. Packed my bag too. Harper, stop picking. I had my bag. Got on my tricycle. We lived in the country, so we had a really long driveway. I ride my bicycle all the way to the end of the road.
And that was as far as I was allowed to go. So then I just stopped.
Oh my gosh, this is literally my story. What? He's taking my runaway story. No, that was me. That was me. I've heard Cash say that to me multiple times. Yes, that was me. What is taking my runaway story? No, you're taking my runaway story. You're trying to jack my story. And you want to know what happened after that? And he's going to be like, oh yeah, that happened. I forgot why. I started playing basketball. No, I started playing basketball. Okay. Oh my God. I ran away. I went to the end of the driveway. I left and right. I rode my tricycle back. Oh yeah? Because that was me. I started playing basketball. I'm going to call your mother. No, you.
No, you call my mother. I'm going to call your mother. Call your mother. I'll call your mom. No, call your mom. I'll call your mom. Stop fighting. It's hurting my ears. Have you seen those videos? It's like POV your siblings and you're fighting. And you're like, I disagree with that. And your mom comes out and she's like, stop. I can't turn. It's like you weren't even fighting. Who ran away on the tricycle and then started shooting basketballs? Please.
You? No, it was me, remember? Yes, that's what I thought. You almost gaslighted me. All right. Wait, wait, no, Mom. Mom, wasn't it? Wait, didn't I run away too? Maverick ran away on his bicycle, his little bicycle with training wheels. Whenever he was mad, he was going to run away. Yeah. Gosh, you were getting a haircut. Got halfway through it and you was about...
And you ran away naked. Jumped on the tricycle and rode around in a cardboard. What? You ran away naked. I did forget about that. Jumped on the tricycle and started riding around in circles. With no clothes on. Easy. All right. Well, we just had that question. All right. I'll call y'all later. We're on the podcast, by the way. All right. Bye. Love ya. You never even told them they were on the podcast. I know. I did forget about that. My dad was shaving my head. So wait, wait, wait.
Wait. He was trying to move past that. He was like, we're just going to forget about this. Wait a second. So you said that he's been telling you this story for how long? I mean, you know when you start dating and you talk about the times you ran away, probably like three or four months into dating. Oh, so you've been trying to be me for years. You've been trying to be me. Okay. Wow. Listen, mom and dad forgot. Just say...
You look out to me and you want to be me. Mom and dad forgot because I have the memory of being at that line and going, I can't, and then I went back and played basketball. I have that memory. Cash, so do I because it was me. Maybe we did it twice. No, we did not. Maybe I did too. Maybe you watched me from the window in mom's belly because you were so little. Anyways, like I was saying,
Sorry. You were about to say sorry that you tried to steal my story. I was definitely not about to say sorry. Apologize. I was going to say, my second. Does he need to apologize?
I'm not apologizing. Everyone's got their hands up. No. You need to apologize. No. I think what you did to Maverick was a very mean thing to do. I'm sorry you forgot along with Mom and Dad. Moving on. That was a sincere apology. I could tell. In denial. Thanks, Kate. I didn't forget the second time I ran away. That was the first. The second time. That was...
The second time I ran away. The only time he ran away. The second time I ran away, my dad was shaving my head and I was like three and he was shaving my head. And then halfway down, I had hair on this side, bald on this side. I was like, I'm done. And I was like whining and crying. He was like, fine, just go, whatever. And so I just start, I was butt naked.
I get on my tricycle and I just start riding it around. Naked. Just riding around. That was like your Miley Cyrus wrecking ball moment. That was your canon event. Shaving, riding around naked. Canon event. No, what's y'all's canon events? What's a canon event? It's like something that's just supposed to happen to everybody. Like it's like not an original experience because everybody goes through it. Oh, okay.
Wait, what? That's not what a canon event is, Kate. You clearly didn't see the movie. Wait, what's a canon event? Because I don't feel like that's a canon event. She doesn't know what a canon event is. Oh, well, I was going off of what's... Get that off of me. Canon event is something that no matter what multiverse it is, that same thing always happens to Kate. So like in Spider-Man, it's like he always becomes Spider-Man, no matter what. No, I'm with Kate. I've seen some TikToks on it, and I think a canon event is like when... Oh, my gosh. Oh!
That is impulsive. I've been staring at the edge of the water. What's going on right now? What the heck is happening? Never really knowing why.
Okay. Copyright strikes. Copyright strikes. Copyright strikes. Hopefully they're... Buzzer. Is that actually when we get copyrighted for that? No, it was a joke. Ask him. I don't know. It was a joke. Listen. What were we talking about? Candidates. I know what they are. I've seen them at TikTok. You didn't watch the movie, Chris. I've seen it at TikTok, too. No, that's okay. I remember now. Based off of TikTok...
TikTok, that's what everyone makes it sound like. Maybe that's where it originated, but we're talking about the TikTok kind of Canada event. No, that's just not what Canada event is. Canada events are like this. It's like, you know how everyone rode their scooter or their... Oh my God, you guys have no idea what a Canada event is. You know how everyone rode a scooter or a skateboard or threw a football or did something in their front yard? Wait, wait. And when a car would pass by, they'd be like, this is my moment. And they got to do something really cool.
Oh my goodness. You know like if you were throwing a football like in your front yard and a car drove by? You were like, I gotta make this one good so I can get drafted. You know what I'm saying? No. Yeah. I do. I actually been there. What kind of candidate event were you talking about though? Wait, I didn't get a finish.
So a can of it is now you're in the car and you drive by and some kid's like trying to do a super cool trick as you drive by. That is absolutely not what a can of it is. It is. Wait, Harper, what were you talking about? It's like this. You talk so much. Just let Harper say what she wants. No, because she always talks. She just talks. You talk a whole bunch now. You both talk a lot, but you talk a lot. No, I definitely don't talk a lot.
I definitely don't talk a lot. Out of everyone, I probably talk the least around here. Yeah. You look so... It's Kate. Okay, who talks the least? She's only trying to get her moment. Kate. Okay, I agree, actually. Kate talks the least. Yeah, Kate talks the least. And then I talk the second least. No. Matt talks the third least, and Harper runs her mouth. No. Okay, what's the order? Look at this statistic. What's the order, sweetheart? It's definitely Cash. No, so Kate talks the least, I talk the second least, you talk the third least, and then you talk the most. Most. Most.
I think that's Kat. Matt, what is it? She talks the most. You talk the next most. And then me and Kate talk even. No, no, no. No. Kat talks the most, absolutely. Because Harper will shut her mouth for 15 minutes and not say anything. She just will zone out. Back to what we were talking about. Canon events, guys.
Harper, what's your definition of a canon event? Like where you do something that you're not really supposed to be doing and everybody like finds out about it. No. Okay, so just to clarify, a canon event- Wait, wait, I'd like to clarify one more time before you clarify. I'll make it quick, I promise. A canon event is like this. I'll make it super quick as long as nobody interrupts me, okay? Okay.
Okay. I want you all to also know everyone watching knows what a cannon event is, except you three. So it's like this. You know how when you're at the water park and you think the lifeguard's hot and you're like eight years old and you think that they're going to like you back?
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life at hellofresh.com slash lolpodcastfree with code lolpodcastfree. And then you're the lifeguard and you see them doing it to you, that's a canon event. That is not a canon event. A canon event is like, let's say in my canon event, every time like our big song that went viral, no matter what
multiverse it's in that song happens like we make a song and it goes viral that's your canon event that would be a canon event so no matter what like we can't escape it no I just I like the TikTok version more where it's like something that everyone has gone through like for example I was at the grocery store the other day well don't say the TikTok version because it's not what it is okay well so I was at the grocery store the other day
of the day and this little like eight year old girl she was like quiet and then I kind of walk up and I was doing it and she starts singing her heart out like she was trying to get like scouted for Disney or something scouted that's the word I was looking for like I was like oh
Homegirl, I can't get you there, but keep trying because one day maybe someone's going to walk by you. This is a canon event. Something that has to happen in your life story plot to define your character. Like I said. In a story. We were right. No. It's something that has to happen. Something that has to happen. To determine your plot's character. When you see the little girl try to show up in front of the lifeguard and now you see it, it's a canon event. That has to happen.
You know what I'm saying? I get the difference between those two. Wait, wait, wait. But I like that version more. People are getting bored like our viewers. You can't just like it more. It's not what it is. People are getting bored. Harper doesn't like this conversation. I agree. Moving on. I have an idea. I have an idea. Oh. So let's do that trend where you try not to laugh and when we all say...
literally our viewers are more bored can we do a try not to cringe challenge instead yes round two i got you what all right try not to cringe but but we all have that water this is something we should have prepared for i don't think this will work right now i'm ready uh no no no no so no one else is gonna go but that was funny yeah that was great kate no that's the try not to cringe no one else is gonna go none of y'all can laugh i don't even know
I promise you I won't. And I'm going to say... Are you ready? You ready? Like, I'm... Zero chance. No chance in the world. I'm laughing. Each one of us have to do this. Have to do this. No, just you, Ash. That's not going to happen. It's going to be just you. Okay. Okay. I hope I don't laugh. I really hope. Okay.
That's so funny. That was a close one for me. Wow. I don't know about you, but I was biting my tongue. Guys, I'm a guy. They're girls. Okay. Bro. Wait, I have a question. Are you talking to me or are you talking to everyone? Are you talking to me, Matt, or are you talking to everyone? Harper, what's your question? This is my question. Stop. Stop. What's happening? What's she doing? I think she's lost it. I'll do it later.
No, do it now. I want to see. No, go ahead. Do it. No, no. It will come out of nowhere. She was going to fart in the camera. No, no. Yes, she was. No, I swear. I swear. Listen, fart in the mic. Those days are behind us. Yeah. We bought brand new microphones just to. What were you going to say, Mav? Yeah. I don't remember. You made me lose my train of thought. Dang. There's something about some girl.
Oh my gosh, it's always about some girl. Yeah, I always have girl problems. Me too, man. Let's see. This one girl, I was on a hunting trip recently, and she started texting me. And I was like, okay, this is getting kind of weird, because I wasn't really into her. How old was she? We're going to leave that out. Oh, gosh. What? I told you, he's always talking to moms. I'm getting...
One mom, two mom, three mom, four. Okay. Listen, anyways. Yeah, anyways, this chick continued to text me. And I'm going to... I can't read what it was out loud, but I'm going to show...
Harper. If you can't read it, why would you show it? Because it just needs to be known. Does it need to be known? I haven't talked to this person since and I don't think I should, right? This is... Wow, I'm so sorry, guys. He's showing you something that you can't even see. This is the weirdest thing in the world. In the world. But if you guys join the Patreon, we're going to show it in there. So, what was that? Well, Alex thought it was funny. I'm still confused.
Why you just ejected out of your seat? What are you, a fighter pilot? She was like, boom! Eject! Eject! Eject! Why did you, like, fall? I say we all do. Matt, you eject. Eject? Yeah, eject, Matt. Are you going to eject with me? I'll eject. I can't do it with you, but I'll do it after. There's not enough room. No, I'll eject randomly. It's got to be random. I eject randomly on this episode at some random point. Did y'all see?
getting ready and I was like I actually did it but for real if you guys want to see that text message it was pretty crazy it'll be in the patreon I can't believe she just flew like that yeah join our patreon like he was saying we got a bitch about to eject no I'm not just yeah hey hey you get caught ejecting it doesn't count you just kind of randomly go
I mean, no one caught her. That wasn't even a check. That was like a stuffle. What was that? That was a ball. Yo, please run that back. She went. She barely made it out of your chair. It was like this. She's going to pee again. Okay, I had to go pee.
Oh my gosh. It wasn't even that funny. Every time Kate thinks something's funny, she has to go run to the bathroom and pee. And nothing was even that funny. And also you just peed before we started the episode. Yeah. I think I peed the most today though. That's okay though to post that in the Patreon, right? I don't know, but we probably are going to do it. So if you guys don't know what the Patreon is, we started a
A pretty cool club, if you ask me. It's called The LOL Club. We have a group chat in there where all of us talk and all of you guys talk with us. We post behind-the-scenes content. It's $100 a person. We post it. What? Yeah. We post exclusive merch. It's $200 a person. No, I'm kidding. It's not that bad. It's pretty cheap, I promise. But go check it out, guys. Go subscribe if you want to. We have a bunch of really cool stuff we do in there, and we do a lot more content. If you guys want to see it, go check it out. Oh, Kate's back.
She's back. All right, so just so you know, that eject did not count. It was literally straight. That was horrible. It was like this. Look, I'm going to mimic what you did. You're supposed to go boom. Like, Harper did this, what you did. I literally felt like I flew through the sky. You rolled out of your chair. Wait, that didn't count? No. I have to eject twice on this episode? No, you have to eject once because that was a fail. Yeah. Fine.
But y'all don't. Y'all can't look at me. She's ready, y'all. We can all look at you. Wait, I want everybody to try this. So put your leg down. Flex your foot. Flex your foot. Now bring it up and straighten out your leg. And you can't straighten it. See who can do it the farthest because it hurts. No, like you have to flex it really hard. I'm pulling myself. How? How do you do it? I'm pulling myself on my other leg. Why does my other leg hurt? So you flex your foot. Flex your foot. Straighten your leg really hard.
straight really hard. Cash is trying to eject. He is about to eject. Gosh darn it! You're like... He was like trying to mask it like how do you do this? How do you do it again? Okay, listen. I'm hard to eject out of. I mean, I don't... For me to eject I literally have to go... And you make a lot of noise so I notice. Yeah, and like everyone can hear me. Even the microphone can probably hear me. We caught you. We literally caught you
But like 10 seconds before No one said anything Yo no one said anything Yeah we did Watch Run back bro No one said anything I promise you guys Yes we did Yes we did Y'all are delusional Literally Wait a minute What? You're delusional Oh I love being the right one all the time Y'all caught me when I was doing this
Wait, did you say... But not the second time. Did you say that the Patreon was $100? Yeah. No, she's trolling. Yo, no. I don't... I don't frick with the patriarchy. What did you say? Same. Patriarchy! Wait, why is it called a patriarchy? I don't know. Like a patriarchy? I don't know what a patriarchy is.
Sounds like a cool name I should start. I'm gonna get a t-shirt that says I am patriarchy. I am a patriarchy. I'm part of it Listen wait, what's patriarchy? Matt was about to eject. Does this look like I'm about to eject? No He's like preparing. He's like
grabbed phone listen nothing is getting by us you little sneaky sneaks yeah me and harper successfully ejected i was good too right like nobody saw me moving yeah well to be fair nobody knew it was starting no i started it and i said okay yeah maybe you're right but like harper had an unfair advantage yeah so maybe i should do it again in the episode yeah i feel like we should bring the unicorn back on
Oh, I hate the unicorn. It's so messy. And also this black carpet gets all the fuzz on it, too. Yeah, it's so... Yeah, there's a unicorn over there with his broken leg. And Harper can't stop fiddling with the unicorn when it's here. That's true. No unicorn for you. I keep on fiddling with his hair. Back to Christmas, because I'm excited. Oh, it's so far away. Oh, yeah, we never said on Christmas list. Yeah. What do you want for Christmas, Maverick? I'm so excited. Hurry, go, go. What's the first thing that comes to your mind? First thing that comes to my mind? Love.
What? Love. That's pretty sad. So we're not gonna let that slide. No. What? Moving on. What's your second top thing for Christmas? Okay, second top thing. A woman. Oh. Oh. Okay. A 40-year-old woman? All right, third. That's it. Yeah, that was it. All you want for Christmas? Okay. Harper, stop picking at your skin. Sorry, sorry. I can't help myself. Well, okay. What do you want for Christmas, Cash? Kate, what do you want for Christmas?
Maybe a live... I'm just kidding. A what? Wait, where are you going with this? A live what? A live what? A puppy? You want a puppy? A live podcast episode. That's not what I said. Oh. Oh. That is what she said, actually. That is not what I said. That is what you say. She was asking if it was okay to say it. Is it?
I don't know. Is it? We want to do a live episode in person. We're doing a live episode. We booked a venue. We did? Well, we narrowed it down to three venues. Well, we narrowed it down. Listen. We might be doing a live episode in Dallas, Texas around December 2023. There's negotiations right now. 2023, we might be doing a live episode in December in Dallas, Texas. Anyways, that's all I want for Christmas.
Is to do the live show. So yeah. Go get your tickets. If it's out. If it is. It'll be the link in the description. Yeah. We honestly don't know though. Like we could just be pulling this out of our butts right now. And not for sure that it's happening. I'm pretty sure it's happening. I think it's happening. It's gonna happen. I just said I think. I think. I think it's happening. I think I'm three years old. I think I'm three years old. You know what I want for Christmas? Two fun teeth. What do you want for Christmas buddy? I don't know. Let me think. Uh.
Wait, hold on. Wait, I thought he was going to say something about Kate. I thought he was going to say a wife. That would be crazy. I don't know why I said that. Because you love the one you have, so imagine two. I thought you were going to say a skinny wife. I should get another wife. One's pretty great, right? Yeah, one's doing great. So why not get another one? Think about it. If you love having a TV, why would you not get two TVs? Because then you get too much screen time.
I don't think it's a possible thing. It's too much screen time. You know what I'm saying? So with two wives, you get too much...
I don't really know, actually. Too much complaints? Yeah, too many complaints. Yeah, for sure. With two wives, you get too many complaints. Yeah, that's for sure. You will get a huge credit card bill, so... Yeah. I'm not gonna lie. That may be massive. I take it back. I can't have two women having my credit card. That would be out of hand. Yeah. That would be crazy. Just give me two credit cards. I feel like if I ever had a boyfriend...
I would have to pay for him. What? Why? Because he's like, oh, well, you're famous, so you make all the money in the world. Why don't you just date a famous guy? Dang it. Bro. Gosh darn it. I didn't even see her. She got it. I saw you.
I literally didn't even see it. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I love that now. Sit down. Sit down. Don't do that again. No. No. No. No. How do you know? Guys, we got to start paying attention. Bro. No. Bro. Bro. I can't. That doesn't count. No. I can't eject anymore because people are going to know if I eject. I totally forgot about that.
You're ejecting. You are clearly ejecting. Don't even say you weren't. Look at the position you're in. I'm not ejecting. Guys, my heart was racing for like three minutes leading up. Sounds like they're going to see me shifting positions. I don't know how we did it. What the heck were we just talking about?
Christmas Liz's. No, we're talking about you dating a famous guy. I know. Look at me, I'm pretty handsome. Just a normal guy. And they'll be like, Harper, well, you're always over here making all this money, so why can't I just have all the money in the world from you? Why don't you just date a guy that doesn't need your money? Well, all of them do.
That's literally what everybody wants. They're all like, how much money do you make? Oh my gosh, wait. Do you ever tell anybody when they ask that? No. I'm always like, look at my net worth. I say look at my net worth because it's higher than it is. How much do you make? How much do I make? Don't tell us. We're on the podcast. I'm not actually saying anything. I just tell them, I say, I'm not allowed to share that info.
roughly okay roughly how much you make that's literally what people ask me like estimate it really and then and then they're like okay and then they start guessing and they're like over 10 000 a uh a year a year i haven't been on tiktok for a year good answer she's pr trained i know that's crazy i know
Literally PR trend. Cash just wants to know if you make more money than him. That's what he's trying to figure out. What I'm trying to figure out is who should start paying for this stuff around here. You know what I'm saying? I think you should keep doing it. Yeah, because right now it's me and I'm the one starting to wonder here. Like I'm buying the dinners and you know. Just keep buying it. Because you sound like you're making a lot of money. You're kind of flexing. Harper, how would you feel if we all went out to dinner after this on you?
I mean, I... You know we've all gone out to dinner after the podcast and we've never invited you? Yeah, because I'm never invited to anything. Now that I think about that, we've gone out multiple times and we've never invited Harper. Okay, first of all... We would. It's her fault. As soon as the podcast's over, she don't like us. She leaves immediately. She sure does. She always got somewhere to be. She's like, I'm gone. Yeah? Where are you going to go after this? Shailen's house. See? Exactly. What time? Seven. It's 6.30. So the second this ends, she's going to be like, all right, bye guys. This was so much fun.
Yeah. I have to. Harper, just one time. You're always making your plans while you're here. That's how I knew you had to go somewhere. You were like, make plans for 645 or whatever, Mom. No. Yes. Yeah, that way you didn't have to stay and hang out with us. No. Would you like us to invite you to dinner after? I mean, not right now. You used to be a fan, Harper. Not today. Yeah, remember where you started. Remember...
joke over she had to get her ejected we all got ours nobody knew nobody knew nobody knew no i mean remember when you were a fan and you were like i you asked your sister for me to make a video saying hi harper and now you can't wait to leave my house no yeah no fame changed you how about
Back in February, back in February before we met you, if we would have been like, hey, Harper, it's Cash and Kate and Maverick. Would you would you like to go out to dinner? Would you have gone with us? Would you have dropped the plan? She did. Remember we asked her and she was like, yes, yes, yes. Remember we went to dinner with us to her and her mom. Oh, we did do that. But like, would you cancel your awkward dinner? If I'm going to be completely that wasn't awkward dinner. We were like, hey, I know we all got to be like, yeah, formal. I feel like we had to be formal. And I was like, hey.
And I was trying to be funny, but I wasn't very getting a laugh out of it. So I was like, hi, how are you? No, literally. And my mom was like, okay, so how much money will she make? I'm like, mom, what? No, I don't think she asked that. I don't think she did either. I think I asked that. But she did. No, you don't want to know what she asked? She was like, so how can I get PR? Yeah. And then.
Yeah. That's crazy, by the way. What do you mean? You would prefer PR over getting paid. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Hold on. We got to talk about this for just a second here. Harper literally... Watch this, guys. Harper. Yes. Say you had a brand deal. You're like, Harper, we want to pay you $10,000 for one TikTok video. Or they were like, we will give you $750 in free PR slash product.
If it was, like, makeup products or skincare, then I would say yes. That's insane. Like, I would just do that. Okay, but you know with $10,000, you could just go buy $750 of skincare products. I know, but the thing is, like, my mom, like, I feel like it's the money that I make, and I don't want to spend it, but then it's, like, the money that I get. What? Like, because I make that money. I work for it. But then I just get free stuff from stuff. Yeah, but you know if you just, like, took the $10,000, spent $750, you could pocket the...
Like 9,250. 9,250 bucks. Especially with these companies that are being mean to me. Like, I don't like it. And I'm not about to... Okay, a company being mean to her? No. Harper had a brand deal to do and she ignored it to the last moment. No. Yes, yes. And you ignored it to the last moment and then you got in trouble. Oh, yeah. No, this company said if Harper...
I hope this goes smoothly, more smoothly than last time after what happened last time with the time arrangements. Yeah, because she never gets them done. Because I'm just 14. No. Wait, I had a question. Oh. But I mean, if you want to end it, we can. Wait, what's your question? Well, I was just going to ask if you guys have ever been in any fights. Who? You guys. Me and Kate? Yeah. You literally brought this up like two weeks ago and we said we weren't going to talk about it.
talk about it. No, it could be a different fight. I'm just curious. Nope. Like what happens? Peace. Because Cash, I've heard him say some pretty funny stuff. I mean...
Ow. That's your next line. Oh, you're trying to end the podcast? No, no, no. But I just heard you say some pretty funny stuff. I'm not going to lie. When I argue with anyone, it gets pretty funny. I say some funny stuff. Me and Cash both do. Some is messed up. Some of it's messed up that I say. A lot of it's funny. But anyways, guys, thank you so much for watching this episode. If you haven't already, go check out our Patreon. Go join the L.O.L. Club. Go check out our merch if you haven't already. And...
And we might be doing a live show in Dallas, Texas, December 2023-ish sometime. So you can end it. Can I say the one thing you said? What?
Not any day. All right, go. Peace out. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Should I do peace? Peace out, bro. We'll see you guys next time. Whoever has the most viewed video using a clip from this podcast on TikTok or YouTube Shorts, we're going to be personally FaceTiming. Post as many times as you want, but make sure to tag the podcast and use hashtag the LOL podcast in the title slash description. Good luck, and we hope you win.