Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Cash, what did Harper say? Harper said that she doesn't like you. He's sitting on an escalator, and we get to the top of it, and it starts eating his shirt. I was about to die. What am I? Alright, who was here? Are we getting robbed? What was that noise? Cash, why are you wearing a Bulls shirt? You don't even like the Bulls. I do like the Bulls. Name one player from the Bulls besides Michael Jordan. Um... Who's on his shirt right now?
No, I actually, you wear that jersey often. People are like, do you know who's on that? I have like 10 jerseys and everybody's always like, do you know? Like people ask me that and I'm like, no, I don't know what jersey I'm wearing. I bought it because it looked cool. Okay. But if I had to guess, what number is it? 91. 91.
I just saw it. What? Nothing. Her toe was poking out the sock. No, it's just a little hole. But her big toe was pushing through it. Anyways. No, no. My toes are going to go through the holes. No, no, no. Let me see real quick. No. No, I just want to test something.
No, I just want to test it. No, no, no, no. Yo, I got something I actually kind of want to talk about. And I'm not sure if I should bring this up, but I'm going to. Yeah, I say we take a vote. I vote. Talk about it. Talk about it. Talk about it. That's 50% already. That's great. So the other day, Kate was gone all day. And I thought, hmm, what could Kate be doing? Why is she gone all day? And we come to find out.
She was getting her tat. What? Kate has a tattoo. Come on. There it is. You do?
Not only does Kate have a tattoo, Kate used to be a tattoo artist. Yeah, she did. Kate was an artist back in the day. And a piercing artist. Listen, listen. When I was 15 during quarantine, Harper, how old are you? 14? Yeah. So when your stupid friend comes to you and says, Harper, you want a tattoo? It's only going to last six months. Say no.
Can I see it? No. Oh. But Kate said yes to the tattoo. No, no. I was the stupid friend asking my friends, do you want a tattoo? It's only going to last six months. But you also got a tattoo. I gave myself a tattoo. Okay. That's crazy. But yeah, I'm in the process of getting them removed because I was under the impression when I was 15, I was under the impression that if you give yourself a stick and poke, it'll disappear in six months. It's been five years. It's been quite a few years. A few years.
years and it hasn't faded at all so I'm getting them removed now but I do I have been wanting to say this to the multiple multiple multiple other people I gave tattoos I am sincerely sorry for that she gave her brother a tattoo of a cross and it's literally just a
Can we get that put on the screen? Dude. Because it is so bad. It's bad. It's just a cross on his chest and it's all filled in. And it's just a blob. But it's stick and poke. So it was like a sewing needle. And he got his friend's initials on his thigh.
With like a heart around it. Because they all thought he was going away in six months. And he was like, yeah, put CJ on my thigh. We all got these stupidest. Now, I will say, one of my friends, I was like, oh girl, you want like a stick and poke? I got you. And she was like, yeah. So I start putting a little heart on her wrist. And let me tell you, I got pretty good. Bro, didn't that go through her vein? No.
That's not quite how it's happening. No, but she was like, yeah, give me a tattoo. And I was like, okay. I got pretty dang good at doing hearts, let me tell you. But so I'm like halfway through the heart. And because of the needle, she starts passing out. And she's like, she was like...
And so I had to stop. So for the last few years, she's had half a heart on her wrist because it wouldn't go away. Oh my gosh. That's so weak. Passing it off from a tattoo. I know. It was a sewing needle. And so then she was like, you know what? I just want to finish it. So she ordered just a tattoo gun and finished the heart herself. And it looks really cute now. So I like to take credit for that. Perfect. But I am getting mine removed because they're not cute. Yeah. Does it hurt getting them removed?
So it doesn't feel good, but I will say. The laser? Like that little laser thing? Yeah, but I also. Does it go like. Yeah. I want to go next time. I want to see it like pop, like blow up. It's weird. It's weird. I will say that because I have been getting like laser hair removal and stuff.
and I have finally gotten used to that. And like at first it like really freaked me out but now I'm like I go in there and I'm like okay I got this. But then I was like I need to get these removed. These are so bad. And the laser is frightening. It's like this big. It's like a laser. It's like a gun. It's like a gun. And she puts it all up on my skin. I thought it was like a little handheld like a pencil. No I watched videos on it and I was like okay it's only going to be like because they're super small. I was just going to be like And then she went out of her duke and she's like come here.
I was like, Becky, I'm so scared. And she was like, it's not going to hurt that bad. And I was like, have you ever heard of it? Keep in mind, Becky's like almost 70 years old. No, she is not. I don't know. Just from the way you described her. You just made up old Becky. No, I don't know. No, Becky, I love.
love Becky. I didn't say, why would I say something Kate's like, no, I love them. I'm like, I didn't say you didn't like them or whatever. I love Becky. If I had to guess, Becky's probably like 50? Yeah, I'd say like 50 to 60. I don't know her age. I've never asked, but I love Becky and Becky's like, oh, she's like, you're fine. You're fine. You can do it. And so I was like, have you ever gotten a tattoo removed? And she's like, no. And I was like, she's like, it's not going to hurt at all. And I'm like, Becky, I think it will. And then I was like, how long is it going to take? And she was like,
- I probably, 'cause it's like pulses. It's like and there's like 20 of those or whatever. And I thought it was only gonna be a couple like super quick and she looks at it and she's like, "It'll probably be about 20." And I was like, "20?" But yeah, so-- - 20 hits or 20 minutes? - Like 20 pulses. But it's super small so I thought
thought it would only be like so wait is the tattoo gone no i have to go back for a couple of sessions oh yeah so this is my word of advice to every 15 year old don't get a stick and poke tattoo i want a tat i want one tattoo i want a matching tattoo with you nope i'm down for matching tattoos my uncle got branded let's get half a heart dude i've almost
gotten branded before. Yeah. Branded? I don't know why, but as a guy, when you're with other guys, just getting branded sounds fun. always try to convince them to let them brand me. Wait, like a cow? Yeah, like put it in the fire and brand me. And I almost fell for it once. Yeah. Fell for it?
My uncle's branded on his butt cheek. Yeah, and it's always a good spot. It's like, you gotta do the butt cheek. And his initials are still there. It was like his sorority, like initials. So, yeah. His sorority? It's so bad. Your uncle's got a sorority. Yeah. Your uncle made the sorority. That's awesome. He is one of a kind. Legendary. Like, every guy wants to join a sorority. No, like a frat sorority. Oh,
Frat sorority. Frat sorority. Yeah. Those are the best type. Yeah, exactly. Because those exist. Yeah. No, also, what's it called? I was going to say something. Oh, so I went to Fright Fest last night and asked for slacks. It was so much fun and I'm going again tonight. What? That sounds fun. Wait, I want to go. You're going double nights? Sorry, yeah. No, yeah.
I'm gonna be there um so no no low-key no I'm gonna chaperone I'm just telling you right now like wait no because we have a friend coming in we should go to we'll go we won't go with you Harper well like no no why do I feel like if we saw Harper like out in public with her friends like she'd be like best she would act like she didn't know it's like she would be like um it'd be like when your mom shows up at your hangout and it's like oh no guys no but like
I think I'm going to get tonight at like, so we leave here at five. So I'm going like at 530. Yeah. We can carpool. No, no, it's fine. No, no, no. I'm going to be there. Don't you need a ride? No, no, no. Who's driving y'all? My mom. I can walk. Mrs. Harper's mom. Are we allowed to go?
She said yes. You know what? As a matter of fact, we'll pay for your parents to go out on a date just so we can drive together. No, no, no, no, no. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. No, but I... Imagine all of us in the back of Harper's mom's car and we're all like, six flags. And I'm in the front just like, okay. No, no, but so if you do...
So if y'all go tonight, they're scary people. Oh, I was like... No, but they go on your rides, they tickle you. What? On the ride? They're allowed to touch you, I thought. They're allowed to touch you? Yeah, they were touching me. No, Harper, tell them no. I don't think that's allowed. They're not allowed to touch you. I told them...
I was like, if y'all touch me, I will smack you because I was allowed to, like, if they touch me. Is that what Six Flags said? When you walk in? No, I just do that, you know? So, basically, yeah, they're so scary and they have, like, little knee pads on that are metal and they slide across the floor and it makes fire. So scary. Oh, I hate those. This is gonna be fun. It's so unnecessary. Yeah, I know. I forced Maverick to hold a girl's hand at Fright Fest one time. Yeah. But,
I grabbed both of their hands and I put them together. That is like, and then they dated for three years. Oh, wait, was it that one girl, the blonde one that y'all wore the Spider-Man costumes with? No, no, no, no, no. Different one. Oh, I remember the Spider-Man costume one. How do you remember that? Cause I was not stalking your TikTok, but like, I was just, you know, I didn't even know you. No, no. Um,
So did you see it then or did you see it after? Oh, wait, wait, wait. So we didn't even know you, but you were stalking my TikTok? Yeah. Oh, okay. At least she's honest about it. Yeah, yeah. Did people notice you at Six Flags? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It was like a mob. I want to go. I want to watch Harper start a mob. Wait, no, because...
If all of us went, that would not be good. That's not happening. That'd be so fun. That's like the Henry and affair all over again. Imagine if Harper was like, dude, when I go, it's so awkward because I'm I don't care. I love meeting fans. I do too, but sometimes there's like a lot and it's like you can't walk. Yeah, but at a place like Six Flags, I don't
care to ride the rides anyways. I'm just going there to hang out with people. - Guys, oh yeah, I guess that's true. - Oh, I care to ride the rides. - Harper's like, "Nobody talk to me at Six Flags." - No, I love riding rides. - This one time was awkward. I was in line and this fan, like the way the lines went, we got in the roller coaster at the same time and it was just me and the fan. And it was Maverick and his girlfriend, my sister and her husband, my mom and dad, and then me. And I had no one to sit here. And the fan was like, "I'll sit there." And I was like, "Oh, okay."
I thought it was going to be good. She hadn't talked the entire time. And the dad just like took a picture of us. Like, and I looked like we were dating. We were just like...
That's so bad. In the roller coaster. Bro, do you remember when we went to, what was it? It's not called Frontier City. Was it the Branson one? Silver Dollar City. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I remember seeing it. You're just fiddling with your mic. You're not even adjusting it. Listen. Is that your version? We were at Silver Dollar City and I was dating this girl and I wasn't like public about dating her yet. So we had just started dating. I remember this. I remember this too. This was like a big thing for us. And I was like,
Okay, well, I don't want everyone to know we're dating yet. So, we go to Silver Dollar City. You say you don't want anyone to know you're dating yet, but then you know we're making out in the middle of a... Let me finish! Finish your story, but then I'm talking. Then I'm talking. I know. Let me talk. Here, you have the talking nuke. Only Matt can talk. Okay, so listen. Alright? Alright?
We're at Silver Dollar City. Can I have a Ute? No. We're standing in line. We're standing in line. And...
We start kissing for a second and we thought no one could see us. In line is crazy. It wasn't like making out. No, I just need to make a statement. Maverick was the cringy couple at the amusement parks that are like this. No, I was not. Everyone's not supposed to be talking. Maybe I was a little bit, but I'm not now. Okay. So we're in line and we're kissing or whatever. We're children. And yeah, so we kiss.
And then we go on this ride and we think everything's cool. Everything's fine. Well, I go home that night and I'm on TikTok and there's a video with like a million likes of me kissing her just on TikTok. So I'd be careful if you're trying to... I don't kiss me. Some random person took a video, zoomed in and posted it and had like a million likes. And I was like, oh no. Well, that's not private anymore. This is not good. I'm not ready for this. And then so...
I paid the guy to take it down. Oh, how much? You paid him? Yeah, and he wouldn't take it down for free. So I was like, I'll give you like $100 to take it down. And then eventually he took it down. Did you pay him? That's crazy. Yeah, I paid him like $100, I think. I think it was $100. Dang. Yeah, and looking back, I feel really bad for the girl at the time because she was probably like, this guy...
is so like doesn't want me seen at all that he's gonna pay people to take videos down of us I'm just gonna follow Harp around and video and then when something happens yeah oh well maybe not Kate did ask for it I want the uke I want the smoking uke I have the uke so no one can talk to me um that
Do you not understand the rules of the Uke? I have the Uke. Yeah, I just don't really respect the rules anymore. No, I have the Uke. I don't care. No one's respecting the rules of the Uke. Okay, go ahead. No. I have the talking chopstick. Oh, she does have the talking chopstick. You don't have the chopstick. I'm making things up. Well, I just think it's...
I have the talking uni. No, no one's got the talking uni besides me. Put it down. No, I'm not putting it down. Please put it down. I'm not putting it down. Please put it down. Okay. Enough of the fighting. Okay. Lovebirds. Okay. So I have it. It's making. No, not Kate. Why do you keep saying Kate? You can have the talking uni, but put down. A chapstick's not a talking chapstick. Okay. Do you agree? Yep.
But then I go next. Okay. I just think it's crazy that Maverick was so bold to be all like, I don't want my relationship online. But,
But he has millions of followers and everywhere you go people notice you but you're still like oh I don't want people to know I have a girlfriend but then you make out with her in public. I just saw the video of y'all in the mall. That was a weird place to do the makeout session. Okay so it happened twice. That's what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to bring up the mall. I forgot about that one. That's why I wanted the uke. What is with you defending the ukulele? I vaguely remember the mall. Listen the mall is
You know what's the mall? Remind me. Harper, Matt was a weird teenager. He was like 17. I'm stupid. There's a video that comes out. We go to the mall. He leaves and goes apart from the group, him and his girlfriend. But like I said, no one knows they're dating online yet. So a video comes out just like last time. A video comes out and we scroll on our For You page and it has like a million likes and
Someone took a video at the mall, zoomed in on them. He's making out with his girlfriend up against a wall at the mall. That's not true. No, it wasn't up against the wall. It was in the middle of the walkway. It was in the middle of the walkway, but you were leaning against the wall. No, I remember. And how can it be middle of the walkway and against the wall at the same time? No, because it's the hallway.
hallway at the mall but you were like kicked back against the wall a little. Yeah it was weird. But he was like 17. Listen guys I was homeschooled. I didn't really see a female until I was like 16, 17 years old. I saw like no females. Like zero. Okay would you like the one turn? So when I finally I have the you. She does have the you. I have the you.
Oh my gosh. When I finally got to see women. I did go over it. 16 year old girls. Not even women. Children. That's weird though. Who are you?
She was a child though. Okay, I was underage. No, you were 17. Yes. You could have voted. No, I couldn't. So yeah, but then I, oops, then I realized like, you know. That's not okay. Yeah, like I just kind of got excited. I was like, oh, girls like me. That's cool. And then I was like, oh, girls like to kiss. That's really fun. Ew. Not fun and bad. All right, now give Harper the uke.
What's your opinion on all this? Hi. Oh, my opinion is that's so gross. Yeah. All right. Nope. You literally have nothing to talk about. No, but she holds all the power. Can I borrow that for just half a second? No. Half a second. Half a second. All right. Half a second. That was half a second. No, I didn't even get to hold it. Okay. Half a second. All right. So here's how I feel about this thing.
That's how I feel. I almost caused a chain reaction and knocked down the camera. That would have been great. You almost knocked down my camera. That would have been so good. It was my camera. Wait, is it on me? You guys, actually, y'all never really did any PDA. No. PDA, what does that mean? Public display of affection. Display of affection. No, but I will say. Which is not allowed at youth group. I will, no. I remember that always being at the sign on my youth group. PDA. Wait, what was that?
I do remember when Cash and I first started dating, I was 15. And we were private for a whole two weeks. Can you hand me the water? Yeah. We were private for a whole two weeks before a video of us accidentally got posted. But it wasn't. And not posted by a stranger. Kate posted it. I dropped the phone on my... That sounds so fake. Guys, I was like... Maybe it was fake. No, I swear. Maybe she wanted to get leaked. Maybe she wanted to be famous. No, because remember...
I dropped the phone on my face and I was like, oh my gosh, it posted. And I told Cash, I was like, Cash, the video posted and he took the phone and he deleted it.
Wasn't it like 30 minutes later? No, it was right then and there. I was like, oh my gosh, it posted. But because it was Snapchat, you know how there's multiple frames? It was just a video of us like laying down on like an air mattress together or something like on the floor of my friend's room. And I dropped the phone on my face and the video posted to Snapchat, but it was multiple frames. So I freaked out and I was like, catch the video posted. And so he takes his phone and he deletes the first frame, but he didn't delete the second frame. And then like five minutes later, I was like... My phone was blowing up. It was just...
But I put my phone down and it was on silent and I reached up and I was like, ah! You know the swipe ups I had was wild. Oh my gosh. Yeah, that was, it was, yeah. And so that's, and then, and then we were public and I was being really harassed by like 10 year old girls.
Really? Really was a heavy weight on me. Aw, was it? It was. I was so self-conscious. I was called like... I had hate pages and death threats and people telling me that... They were funny. They would morph for photos. Some of them were funny. One of them... They would try to make Kate fat and morph for photos. Now they wouldn't even have to edit. I found a picture. I took a screenshot of this one comment because Cash had a couple weeks... Good thing she did not hear that. What? No, nothing. Nothing. Anyways...
The fact that I just said that. Bro, literally everyone else in the room looked at Cash like, but you. Wait, what did he say? Cash looks like a pig. I said you're beautiful. Cash, what did Harper say? Harper said that she doesn't like you. That's all she said. What did he say? Harper. Maverick, you would tell me the truth. What did he say? He said, well... He said that...
he's up no no so harper i trust that you would tell me the truth oh okay so basically um um just rewind it okay i'll watch it later yeah no what am i that was loud who was here are we getting robbed what was that noise is it my brother mom oh it's joe i think joe's dying you might have passed out he was sick it's it's harley
Oh. Hey, girl. Oh, my gosh. Anyways, so when I was... Harley's here. When I... Cash had just posted or released his new music video, White Bins, when he decided Cash and Maverick was no longer a thing and they both went solo for like two weeks. That happened at one point. We wouldn't be... You always left me. We wouldn't be a real duo if we never split up, okay? Anyways... No, you left me every time. No, you left me too. No. Yes. I'm...
Look, did females come in between us? Maybe. Yeah. Maverick would get a girlfriend and he'd be like, unfortunately, I'm leaving you. Every single time. It happened three times. Cash and Maverick is no more. Anyways, Cash and Maverick None of my girlfriends have ever enjoyed Cash. No one, not one of his girlfriends ever liked him. Bro, I don't dang well they did. What? No. Thanks, over. Oh, wait, wait, what? Yeah, because they don't like Maverick.
No, they beat. Yeah, they were sticking around for me. Yeah, for sure. I'm hoping to get the better brother eventually. Yeah, that's what happened. No, most of, most of, Cash didn't really care for most of my girlfriends. No, not that I didn't care for them, it's that they didn't care for me. One of his girlfriends baked cookies. She,
She baked cookies and my mom was like, there was like five guys at her house to bake cookies. That's great. That's fantastic. That's like a grandma. Take notes. Oh. Cookies are great. Oh, no. Anyways, his girlfriend was baking cookies and my mom was like, this is when he was like 16, and his mom was like, oh, you're going to have to share those with all the other guys because it was like me and all the guy cousins there. She was like, fine. And she baked more cookies, put them in a bag, smashed them to crumbs, opened up my door and said, here's your cookies and threw them out the wall. And I didn't.
And I didn't even know cookies were being made. And I was just like, thanks, I guess. Maverick's red flag is his lack of cookie baking skills because he always, listen. This is actually true. No, because Maverick, for the longest time, he was always like, Kate, you want to make some cookies? And I was like, yeah. And then I was like, you know what? If he wants cookies, I'll show him how to make them. So I started buying the pre-cut cookie dough. So all I had to do was put them on the pan and put them in the oven. It literally just turns them up. You didn't even have to roll them up into a ball.
Homey cannot do it. I don't blame you. I just realized the other day I have not used the laundry machine since we moved here or the oven. Bro, those things are complicated. I've never used it. Kate was gone to New York Fashion Week and I was like, bro, this thing is like a rocket ship. I got a text. He was like, I need you to come home. My laundry basket's too full and I don't have breakfast in the morning. Dude, I was having to try to find breakfast at like Smoothie King. It's not fun.
No, listen. Baking cookies, it's just not my thing. And I don't know why you think it's a good idea to try to teach me how to do something. I'm not good. I'm not like, hey, Kate, let me teach you how to put shelves on the wall. No. I don't do that. I just thought that you might like cookies. If I'm not here and you want cookies, you might like to know how to put them in the oven.
You would think that, but I look like I would. What do you even mean? Because you're 36 and you look like you would be a handy little man. Maverick is such a Bob the Builder. Yeah. He just built that before we were alive. He just built that. I ordered that little end table thing for like right there and it was sitting up against the wall and I kept meaning to tell Mav to build it and then I walked out of my bedroom and he's building it and I was like, wow, something in the house just needs to be put together and Maverick's on it. No, to be fair, I told him to. Oh, you did? He did. But...
It bugs me if there's like something that needs put together and it's not. That's a lie. Remember the shelves? You had those things sitting there for months. No, it did bug me. He just don't go to the shelves. Yeah, I was gone. I was like in and out of the house. But like the computer, we just got some new computer stuff in and Cash was like, don't set that up right now. It's a waste of time. We have more important things to do. And I was like, dude, I was like itching. Remember LA when we were at, I'm not going to say her name because I'm not going to put her on blast, but we were at this influencer's apartment and-
Wait, who's? I said, I'm not going to say it. You want me to whisper it to you? Yeah. No, I can't trust you. If I whisper it to you, you're going to say it out loud. I won't say it. Anyways, we're at our apartment and she has a mirror. All that needs to be done is to put one screw in it and it hangs on the wall. Oh, I know. Why don't you say the name? It hangs on the wall. No, you don't. She has no clue. And she called a handyman to come put a screw in her mirror and hand it on the wall. What? I don't blame the girl. You don't know what a handyman is?
- A handyman, like a candyman? - Like Bob the Builder, you know how Bob the Builder is? - No, it's like a construction worker guy, kind of. - Like my dad. - Yes. - There you go. - My dad's not a construction worker, he's an engineer. - But can your dad hang a mirror on the wall? - Nope. - I'm sure he can. - You're saying your dad's an engineer? - Yep. - Then he could probably hang something on the wall. - No, he's an oil engineer. - A petroleum engineer? - Nope. - Okay. - Yes he is. - No, he is not.
Is dad a petroleum engineer? Yeah. Your mom said yes. And he can't do stuff. He's not. How did you know that? What do you think petroleum is? It's just called petroleum. Petroleum jelly.
jelly is vaseline yes i am with you on that yeah like when i was getting my tattoo removed she said put some petroleum on it wait what do y'all think petroleum in your vaseline is dude i have zero clue i'm gonna be honest they're gonna they're gonna act like they know what so much more sense oil yes so there's oil but vaseline and the petroleum are two different ways yes but they mix them together the oil when they get out of the ground goes in your vaseline yes there's oil in like everything that's
The oil that you put in your car is also in your Vaseline? Obviously. Okay. You didn't know petroleum was too second to go, right? There's oil on that bar. You're getting educated by Harper. There's oil on this couch. Yeah, and like, you know how like oil comes out of your pores and stuff? Do you think it's because of like... The petroleum, right? But it's not the same oil that goes in your car. No, but like the oil, like when you eat food that has oil in it, it's like coming back out of your pores. And the oil that's in food... So ultimately, it's like oil... Yeah. I know...
Okay. I didn't take algebra. I don't know. What about olive oil? Olive oil? That comes out of your pores. Yep. What? Yeah. That is not where I was going, Harper. I'm asking Maverick because I think he might know. No. Olive oil? What do you think olive oil comes from? Olive oil? I have no clue where olive oil comes from. Are y'all kidding me? Olives.
Olive oil definitely comes from olives. I'm googling it. I don't even need to google it. I just know. Where do olives grow? Do they grow on a vine? No. That's facts, bro. Where do olives grow? I've never seen an olive in the wild. You know what I keep thinking about and I keep meaning to google it?
but I keep forgetting. Oh, I live with degenerates, guys. What's that? Literal degenerates. Listen, every time I'm on an airplane and I go to the bathroom and I flush, I'm like, where is it going? Because it's such like a loud, it's like whoosh. Dude, it is aggressive. It sucked my clothes down. It sucked your clothes down? Yeah, no, it sucked my whole t-shirt down the drain. That is cat shit.
Why do you always lie? I'm not lying. She just wants to see if she can get cake to believe stuff. I believe that. When he was like eight, he was sitting on a... It sucked my whole head down into the toilet. He was sitting on an elevator. Escalator. Oh, an escalator. He was sitting on an escalator. Yes. I just don't like when I start saying a story, you just dump it. Okay.
She just completely ignores me. Keep talking. He's sitting on an escalator and we get to the top of it and it takes his shirt and it starts eating his shirt and he's backwards and he's like, I was about to die. He was crying. Is that real? Yeah, my whole shirt was like torn in half. I was like fighting for my life.
He's like, I'm about to get sucked into the ice. It ripped. It ripped. Cause I was sitting and you know, what's funny is I was sitting there and this is just dad for you. Dad's like, son, you better get up. It's that's not going to go well. I'm sitting on the stairs. And he's like, you need to get up. And I'm like,
I'll be fine, dad. Your parents always tell you to get up if you sit down. Yeah, he's like, no, you need to get up. And then he just sits there and watches me struggle for a minute as it's killing me. Wait, I'm so confused. He was terrified. So your shirt, you were sitting on the step. He's sitting backwards, so his shirt's like, and it's going up. And when the stairs started going in, you know how it gets flat? Yeah. Again, is that what happened? It went flat and you were getting... And it ate him.
And then, not just that, it, like, ripped the shirt off of him. But luckily, we were at a mall, so we bought him a new shirt. Yeah, we're going to, like, take family photos. I was like, sorry, yeah, we're going to have to get another shirt, guys. Wait, did they give it to you for free? No. The escalator people? Yeah. I mean, like, the escalator. The escalator itself. The escalator what? What did... I don't know. I really don't know. No, but, like, um... So...
Anyways, I know why don't we just click the emergency stop button? I see those all the time and I've always wanted to click one I click one once and it stopped a whole the escalator. Oh, I didn't do that. Oh, hey, we yeah, we stop escalators all the time Push your hands against the rail and your feet against the sides and it stops it and it works what time I was at Matt was like do it cash and I did it anyway, we did
a couple times. One time, everybody just is like... We felt so bad. And then they walked down the elevator. We were going... I think it was the airport. Yeah, people had luggage. And it was a long escalator and there's just a line of people behind us with luggage. And they're all like, doop, doop, doop, doop. And so, you don't even have to put your hands... You literally just put your heel...
I don't even want to tell people how to do this. But you put your heels up against the thing and then it lifts up the stair a little bit so then it thinks something is stuck as it comes down and then no one will even know it's you. No one will know that you stopped it. Yeah, it's not like you pressed the button. No one will know that you stopped it and then you can just be like, oh man, it stopped, guys. Oh my gosh. All these people are just like,
- They just go out of their bags and start walking up that stairs. - Okay, but escalators are like the most American thing ever. Like that's so lazy. - Yeah. - Sometimes they're long though. - No, and the runways. - I don't wanna watch airport ones be long. - And the runways at the air, the walkway, the walking pad at the airport. Every time I'm on those. - Hyper walks? - Yes, I mean they're so convenient, but I'm like this is so American.
I'm down though. I know, they are. It's so lazy. I judge people so hard, bro. When I'm walking on those things, like the flat escalators. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, the hyper walks. I'm walking on the flat escalators and I'm zooming. Like I'm literally just walking, but I'm running at the same time. And somebody just like purposely doesn't take it and walks. And I'm like, you have such low IQ. Like I pass them in a second.
And they're trying so much harder and they got like two bags. And I'm like, bro, you are so dumb. Why didn't they just get on the thing? To choosing to walk there. It's the ones that just stand there though. Those people annoy me too. It's an escalator. It moves so slow. You're supposed to help you walk. It's so slow though. You move at like literally a snail pace. I mean, when I'm on an escalator, I don't walk up the stairs. No, but the flat ones. No, but also, okay. I say that it's so American, but the people that like run up an escalator, I'm like, why are you doing all that?
You're supposed to go 50% effort. On the escalator? Wait, I didn't think about that. Are you supposed to walk up escalators and it's just supposed to help you get there? Yeah. Oh, well, I don't really know. Maybe, maybe not. Why'd you answer? Because I'm smart. Wait, that's so crazy. I've never thought of that. Because the walking pads, you're supposed to walk and it just helps you a little. Probably. But like, wow. Americans are just so...
So cool. You know, one time we were headed to the airport and we had this Uber driver and we opened the door. Actually, it was our friend. Oh, we were in there. And we all get in and our friend's the last one. She opens the back door and before she sits down. Wait, was she in the car? She was like half in the car. Yeah, she was like halfway in, halfway out. And the Uber starts taking off.
Do you remember this? No. It was in Colorado. In Colorado, Anyella was like, she might not have been in our car. And the Uber lady takes off. We were at our ski resort and we were going to like the place, the town where we had dinner at. I don't think I was there. No, he was riding with his parents. You were riding in a different Uber. And then it takes off and she's like, ah! And Anyella like hops out of the car and the lady's like, Was it the cowboy driver? No. It's like this middle aged lady. She's like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
sorry and she's like and we're like oh it's fine whatever and then we take off and she jumps the curb and she goes and she almost hit pedestrians and we're like oh my gosh and then she almost hits a pedestrian this pedestrian gets super mad at her and then what happened when she dropped us off do you remember oh she just like i don't remember that what happened after i just remember her like begging us not to leave her a bad review yeah and then afterwards when she what the
She was like, please leave me a five-star review. No, she wasn't like, leave a five-star. She was like, I'm so sorry if you leave me a bad review that it'll ruin Uber driving for me. And she was like, she pleaded her case pretty well. Dude, I never left a one-star so fast. No, I left a five-star. No, I'm kidding. Bro, we've had some crazy Uber drivers. I didn't. We did not. I had one that was definitely on drugs. No, I had one that pooped the car. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. I swear. No, you didn't. You're lying. I swear. I don't even know. Wait, wait, wait. I don't lie.
Who is with you? My sister. Okay. Yeah. Is this true? She said no. Mom! It is true. No, it's not. My mom doesn't believe anything I do. Well, for good reason, I think. No. No. I had this other Uber driver. I was in L.A. I was like 15, and this Uber driver's in L.A., and he's smoking some...
Some grass? Some grass. He's smoking some grass. He smoked lettuce. Oh. Who does that? Right? I eat lettuce, bro. He's smoking lettuce and he's like driving. He's like, how old are you? And I'm like 15. He's like, oh shoot. I gotta put this away. He puts it away. It lasts like two minutes. And he goes, I can't. I can't. And he grabs it back and starts smoking his lettuce again. And I'm like, bro, what? Oh my god.
Welcome to LA. That was a slow Uber driver. I have started, recently when I Uber, every time I end up in an electric car, but like in New York and in LA, okay, I don't know if that was an electric car, but every time I'm in an Uber, I get so car sick and I almost like throw up everywhere. And when I was in New York this last week, my friends and I were in the back, it was an electric car. In the back of, if you've never been in one, like sometimes you can get pretty nauseous, especially like when he's driving, I get really nauseous. Oh. Because. Yeah, Matt and Matt do be going. A lot of people.
lot of people get nauseous in the back of electric cars but i was in the middle i have two friends on the side of me and i'm like i'm like about to throw up i'm like oh it's all coming up and i had a plan i was like i can either lean over this way and throw over like throw up out the window over page or i can throw up like over my sister-in-law i was like my sister-in-law is gonna be a lot less mad so i was gonna throw up over her and i was like i know which one of your friends you're gonna throw up over well obviously i had to pick
had to pick which one's gonna be less mad like I know like Paige would be pushing me over just for future reference I'll be the most mad so nobody choose me I mean if I'm in between both of y'all like I'm gonna have to rock paper scissors with my head over no you're throwing up over him no no cause he's pushing me Maverick I think you'd be more likely no no no no I'd go with Mav I
I would lose my mind. I don't think you understand. I will throw up. If there's throw up, I will throw up. If I was in the middle and it was you or Kate, I'm going with you.
Bro, you literally threw up in a hotel one time. I left the room. I know, but Kate's going to freak out way more. No, you didn't. You hid under the covers until it was cleaned up. No, I thought I would. No, you hid under the covers. Okay, whatever. I can't take it. I can't take it. If I smell it or see it, I'm throwing up. Yeah, that was bad. Which also, Cash throwing up that one time in the hotel made me realize how dirty hotel floors are because it was like the middle of the night and he's like all over the hotel floor, you know, carpet. Yeah.
I can't do much. I just grab some towels and I like clean it up. Like that's how you got clean. They're not going to like come deep clean the carpet. Like even if I were like, Hey, someone threw up. I don't think a Hilton garden in is going to come. What is it? Steam the carpet. I feel like we should have told him. I feel like we're power. Yeah. Like some guys like I'm going to do pushups tonight. He got down and he was just all over it. I did the best I could to be fair. But so yeah, I don't like where it was dirty.
I mean, well, after I threw up on it. Oh, yeah. But like, I'm also, I've heard like horror stories though. Like people have really bad stories about, someone was telling me about this one time they were in Vegas and their door was like, you know how you have like the emergency like lock, you can like put it and the door doesn't close all the way. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I saw this. I saw this. Yeah. Well, no, someone came in there and like, it's Vegas. So, you know, everyone's not sober. And this guy came in and he pulled the drawer out and he started peeing in her drawer. Oh, I didn't see that. I mean, at least he did it in the drawer. Yeah. But he, but yeah, so then,
Maybe he was sleepwalking. I do stuff like that when I sleepwalk. When Mav was...
I don't know. He was like 10, 11. He would sleepwalk and he went. My dad was like watching TV. I would just go pee on things. And my dad was like, what's he doing? Yes. I was like, what's he doing? He walks out of the room. He pulls open the trash can and he pees in the trash can. Yeah. I mean, luckily out of all places, he went in the trash can. Yeah. But self-aware, it got worse. Then the next time he did on my parents door. They think they don't know their door. That's an idea. We're not sure. No one caught me. I sleepwalk.
Really? Really? Yeah. Well, my sister and my friends tell me. Really? And sleep talk. I sleep talk a lot. Yeah. Oh, I sleep talk a ton. There's like one... You can have full conversations with me. Same. Oh, yeah. There's like once a year I sleep walk and like... Dude, this happened the other... Like a couple months ago, I went to bed and I woke up in the shower with the shower running and I'm standing up. And then I woke up and I was like, what am I doing right now? And I literally just came to consciousness in the shower with the shower running. And I was like...
What time is it? I look at I look in it's 3 a.m. And I was like i'm going to bed. Yeah, it's weird I've never just cash sleep talk. Um, no, but there was one time before we were married I was you were out of town and I was staying at the apartment and so I was like i'll just sleep in maverick's room And so cash was asleep in his room and I was sleeping in your room And then after like 10 minutes, I was like i'm not tired I'm gonna go see what cash is doing and he was already asleep and I went in there and I was like What are you doing? And he was like sleep talking but I didn't know it And he was getting mad at me
He was like, that's false, bro. No, that's not. I had a video of it on my old phone, but then my old phone freaking broke. So now I don't have anymore. But he was mad. I was because then I realized he was sleep talking and I started laughing. And he's like, why are you laughing at me? This is not funny. You need to leave me alone. And he was just being really mean and mad. Yeah, Maverick did weird things when he was asleep. When he used to sleep and he was little, he would take his. Can you do that? Oh, wait, didn't you do that the other day? Yeah, we talked about this. We did. Harper, stop. Wait, wait, wait, my mascara. Hold on. Hold on. Let me do it this way.
Yeah, I would sleep with my eyes half open. He would do that? Sleep on bed. I mean, I will legit have full conversations with you. Like, full-on conversations. Like...
Like, we could play catch almost. It's not as bad as our cousin Alex, who's here. Remember how he would sleep? Alex would sleep like this. He would sleep with his eyes wide open. And you're like, Alex? And he's like... He's out. Harper, stop! Yeah, like that. Yeah, like that. When someone's asleep with their eyes wide open, it's unsettling. It's another level of scary. Dude, they're just staring at you like... And you're like, are you dead? No one's home. You awake? He's done that. You've done that before. Nah. Yep. He's been... But it's like a nap in the middle of the day where he's just like...
yeah and then i know he's sleeping but yeah i don't understand how that's actually possible think about it you're turning off your vision my sister said she's gotten really good at it when people do their vision is that a thing when you're asleep do you turn off your vision what do you mean no yes you turn off your vision i don't think you can turn it off my sister said she can do it really well his eyes open i don't know but like turning off my retina does not sound like something i can do bro you literally can turn it off thing when you wake up
You know you're awake, okay? You know you're awake even when your eyes are closed. It would be so scary. There's just no way. Someone look this up. No, it would be so bad if I had a seizure.
Yeah, it would. I would not be okay. Yeah, me neither. Wow. My sister said she got really good at sleeping like that during class. Oh, they're looking it up. You definitely turned your vision off, bro. It's like a switch. Yeah. Some people are born with problems with their eyelids that keep them from shutting them all the way. That didn't help us at all. Yeah, that's not who we asked. Well, I had a piece of it. Yeah. Oh, well. Just do it.
Oh. Oh. Yeah. Well, I'm one of those people. Yeah. You know what made me realize yesterday? Completely off topic. Yesterday, I realized I'm an adult now because- Yeah. You just realized that yesterday? You're married. I am married. I'm an adult. What if I got married right now? Would I die? You know what's crazy? People used to get married at like 14. Yeah. That is wild. No, my sister texted me yesterday and she's like, can you sign me at a class? I was like, I'm-
I'm old enough to sign my little sister out of school if I want. Wait, did you do it? Well, because she texted me and she was like, because she was in class and she wasn't doing anything and she wanted to leave. And so she had asked my mom and my mom was like, no. So then she asked me because I'm considered like an emergency contact at school. Me and my brothers are like her emergency contacts. So I just called and I was like, hey, I'd like to sign Anna out of class. And they were like, okay, we got her. What? You didn't have to impersonate being your mom or anything? No, because I'm an emergency contact. That's legendary. And they were like, she was like...
If you, I got the time. Can you be my, what's it called? Emergency contact? I mean, if your mom put me down, but I don't think she's like that. No, my mom was like, why did you sign her out? I was like, because she asked. Like, do you know what I would have done to have been able to just text my older sister and say, hey, can you sign me up? If you were my emergency contact, I ain't never be in school. Wait, how old is your sister? You owe me a lot of money. I'd be charging for that. She's a senior. Matt would be charging me for that. He'd be like, it's $5 each time you want it.
No, I was like, because my brothers were like, why did you sign her out? We weren't allowed to do that. You should have just made her suffer. I was like, that's so mean. I mean, that's fair. No, I'm not doing that. I would never do it to me if Lainey didn't do it to him. I would never do that because I wish I had someone that could just call the school and sign me out. You see, that's the difference between guys and girls is you wish you had that and we wish we had that and that's why we're not going to do it. Nope. You have to suffer like me. Anna, if you ever want to be, oh shoot, it's her school. If the school sees this. Do you have to call again?
- I hope this fool doesn't see this. But like I will sign you out anytime you need me to honey. - Oh. - Anyways, all right guys, I think we're gonna go ahead and end this episode here. Thank you guys so much for watching. Make sure you enter the competition that's about to play.
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