Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
I'll tell you while I'm mad. Yesterday, I wake up bright and early. 7 a.m., maybe 7:30. And I go to the bathroom, and I wake up in the morning, and the first thing I do is... I forgot about this! First thing I have to do is pee. So I walk in, look into my shower... Mind you, my bladder is... ...the night before, okay? There's a possum looking at me in my shower!
Did Cash put it in there? I get so scared and I peed all over the floor. She did. He put a possum in her shower the night before and then Kate saw it and got scared and peed and ran away. And there's a pee trail throughout our house of Kate running.
Oh, she screamed so... You would have thought there was a murderer in the house. I was in the kitchen filling up a cup of water and she screamed so loud I literally sprinted in there. Oh, maybe I want to cry thinking about it. I was laying in bed. I didn't even hear that scream, but she came in my room screaming because she knew I did. She came in the house and I was like, she's throwing stuff at me. I'm like, oh,
It was a big possum too. It was like this big. Did you carry it in? Yeah. So I was at church and somebody brought it to somebody else at church as a gift. Oh, really? Yeah, as a joke because he had caught one. So then he was like taking it out to go let it go and I was like, wait a second. Can I have it? So then yeah, I kept it all day in my car.
and drove around with it everywhere. And it peed in my shower. And I bleached my shower twice. Good. And every time I go in there, I literally am like, it's literally war flashbacks. Oh, it all just happened so fast. I'm more grossed out that she peed all over our floor. Yeah, that was much more gross than the possum. Walked into a possum in the shower. Like, what would you do if you were like naked about to do a shower and then you saw a possum see you naked? That's what, that's what happened to her. Yeah. Like,
I'm so upset that the possum saw me naked. Like pee just straight on the ground. That's no good. It was really bad. And then they were like, well, you know, I have to mop the floor. And I was like, what do you mean? I was like, can you mop the floor? She's like, why? I was like, what do you mean? I shouldn't have mopped the floor after that. It was ridiculous. Keep working on the potty training. Don't touch your mic. Oh my gosh. We're stopping that right here, right now.
Sick and tired of that. Oh teach your wife to use the restroom. I'm trying we're learning. Okay. It's a work in progress Yeah, she's accidents here and there, you know, it's weird what is have we talked about this before? I don't know Kate has Accidents during the daytime. I've never had an accident. I have accidents during the night time You know I'm saying y'all are perfect for each other. I know Like every like about twice a year I wake up and I'm like Kate oops I wake up and I'm like Kate
Gotta change the sheets. She's like, okay. The worst part, bro, is when it's like 1 a.m. and you just throw a towel over it to go back to bed. What? Yo, what? You know what I'm saying? Wait. He's lying. No, what do you mean I'm lying? You literally asked me when I threw towels over. You said, are you sweating or did you pee? No. No.
That is wrong. Sometimes I get really, really sweaty at night and the sheets are like soaked. And so I have to go get a towel to lay over my sheets to sleep back again because the sheets are so sweaty. And then sometimes, about twice a year, it's pee. And then sometimes I don't know.
So I'm just like, it could be either or. It's a guessing game. So you're like, I'm just going to fall back asleep in my own urine. Well, I put a towel over it. Okay, anyways. Oh, that makes it all better. I accidentally pee when I'm laughing too hard. It actually happened the other day when the slime got everywhere. Oh, yeah, it happened then too. I don't like it. I don't like it about myself, but I can't help it. Yeah, we'll be in the middle of a super funny conversation. Has it happened on the podcast yet?
I don't think so. We'll be in the middle of a super funny conversation and everybody's dying laughing and Kate gets up and runs. She's like, I gotta use the bathroom. I think it's happened before. I think it did. I think it did once. I don't know. I'm pretty sure it did. So I actually went to school today. How was it? It was good. Wait, actually like you don't normally go to school? Don't you always go to school? Yes. Wait. And I wore a mom.
Oh. Yeah. A mom? Yeah, a mom. We talked about a mom the other day and people in the comments did not know what we were talking about. Do you want to see what my mom looks like? Your mom? You have it? No, my mom! Oh. Let's see, I know what your mom looks like. Oh my gosh. Here we go. Hey, bring it over, mom. Please? Hey, mom, bring my mom. Please? Here we go. Harper, say please. It's so massive. Please? Wow. You wore this all day at school? Yes. How do you... Okay. Thanks, Mrs. Harper's mom. Wait, is that taller than you? Almost.
Oh my gosh, it's not much shorter than Harper. I was dangling on the floor. Yeah, it's more like the mom is wearing you. You're the accessory. Please. And that's for prom? Or what? Did you make it? You didn't? Nope. You bought it? I thought it was made for free. I thought you were supposed to make those yourself. Nope, I cheated my way out of it. That's mine, you're already in a wheelchair. Okay, fine, you can have it. You don't need any more help. I get my own.
Wait, where did you buy it? Well, where it is. Where did you buy it? She said, wait, was that offensive? No, I bought it at... Oh, yeah. The...
Had somebody make it for you? Yes. And I got it for free, and all she said was, you need to give some clothes to the homeless, and then we would be good. Like, I didn't need to pay for it. Okay, it adds up. She gives you a mom, you give away clothes to homeless people. Yeah, like, she's so nice. So did you give away clothes? No, not yet. But I'm trying to pick out what ones I want to give away. So you did. You bought backpacks. Oh, my God.
I wanted to say clothes. No, but also we just needed to give away. So we need to pay it forward. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Good. So anything interesting at school lately?
Oh my gosh, yes. Okay, y'all are going to be so surprised. And I texted Cash about this. Or no, I didn't text Cash about this, but it was like related. But just don't turn this into a short. This is definitely being a short. No, don't. Harrison. Yeah. At this point, just call him Harrison. He broke up with his girlfriend.
He brought up his girlfriend. Why are you smiling? Yeah, you see. She sends my time to shine. That's why. And then me and his girlfriend are friends now. Because we bond over his evilness. Whoa. Wait, so you don't like him? I've met him. He's not evil. He's actually like, wait, never mind. What was that? No. No.
Next question. Next question. So are you not trying to... You sounded excited, so I assumed you were trying to get... I know, I know. So the night they broke up, he added me back on Snap and he started texting me again. That happens. That's so shady. I know, and I was like... And then he added three other girls back too. That also happens. So he's talking to five girls right now. It's called... Including you? G-A-M-E.
game game he doesn't he shouldn't get game or what does that mean or he shouldn't he shouldn't get like girls he's harper you can't you can't be a pawn in his game you can't be one of the five girls he's talking to you're above that i know also also you know i'm just gonna throw this out there you talking about him on the podcast is going to get him more girls watch it unless it's a real
But I'm just saying more girls will want to hang out with him the more you talk about him. Making him more popular. Yeah. No. You're giving his name some clout, Harper. She's realizing what she did. I'm trying to think about this now. He's mean. He's not mean. I met the kid.
He's a nice kid. He's changed. He's changed. Kate always said about me. He changed. I think he broke your heart. No. Are you heartbroken? I don't have a heart. Oh, okay. She is a redhead. I have a soul. Well, so other than him not being with his girlfriend anymore and you talking to him again along with five other girls, anything else? Sorry, somebody's calling me. Um,
She's just so popular. Yeah. No, I'm kidding. No, wait. What was I going to say? I was just asking if there's anything else. Really? That's all that's going on in my life right now. Oh, I took exams. Did you pass? No. Did you get the phone? You didn't...
No. Please, I don't want to talk about it. You didn't get the phone? If you guys didn't watch the last episodes, Harper was taking a test at school and if she passed, her parents, if she passed both the tests, her parents were getting her a new iPhone. Looks like I have to buy my own. Looks like the same iPhone there. Harper, I think you'll be okay. Wait, did you actually not pass? Well, I got a 69 and he wouldn't grade it up to a 70, so. That is so lame. Whatever teacher you are, you are not
Okay, okay. Chill, chill, chill. Okay, calm down. Who gave you a 69? Jesus. And it's just stupid. Like, round it up. That's mean. I know. What grade is this? It's just a lot.
What grade is it, 70? It's 70 is passing and 69. Most teachers will round up a 69 to pass you, except for the mean ones. Wait, 69 is passing? No, 69 isn't passing. 70 is passing. Yes. And then 80 and 90s are Bs and As. I haven't taken a test in second grade. And 69 and below is failing. No, but the thing is,
I asked him, I said, hey, Mr. Can I please, please? Are you saying his real name? Yes, I don't care. I take back everything I said about you. No, no.
A family man. I assume. Go on. No, he's mean. Oh my gosh. Harper, you can't name drop and then talk bad about your teachers. And I do want to say something, but I can't really say it because don't say it, but it's true. It's so true. Let's definitely not say it. It probably shouldn't be said. Can I please, please, please, or can I do some extra credit? So you can round this up to a 70 so I can get a phone. Um,
Or I didn't say that. Did you tell him that? No, no, no. And then he was like, no, Harper. And he said, sit down. She told him to give him a shout out. You know what that makes me think of? When I was in eighth grade, I had an English teacher. So my grandma died and I had to go out of town for the funeral, right? And I missed a project. So I come back and I was failing the class and I was like, hey, I'm failing. And he was like, it really sucks when you miss school, doesn't it? What? And I was like,
Sir, my grandma, like I was burying her last week. I'm sorry. And then I cried in class because I was so embarrassed. Wait, did he know your grandma died?
Not until my mom sent him an angry email. Good. I like when moms send angry emails. Yeah, he was mean. But then the next year, he got fired because he put his... Mind you, we were 13 years old. He put his Tinder profile up on the screen for his students to tell him to swipe right or left because he had just gotten divorced. What? So he got fired. That's really funny. That's really funny. That is funny. All right, students today. Should we do that? We don't have students. No, but I can put my Tinder profile up. Okay.
Who does that? For his students to date him? No, no, what? His students were telling him to swipe right or left. He had just gotten divorced. Maybe if they were seniors, almost 18 years old, you can get by with it. No, they were 13-year-olds. He should have been in jail. I don't know what happened. Something like that. My sister went to court this morning. For what? First
First court date. That happens. No, it's her fifth. No, right? Oh, wait. She's 16. Harper's. She just got her license. Harper, why are you lying on your sister's name? Because she's mean to me. After the sweet little TikTok. Everyone's mean. Uh-uh. She's mean to me. She posted a sweet little TikTok about you yesterday. Yeah, she totally exposed me. Did you see that? Wait, what did it say? I thought it was so funny. No.
No, my favorite. What did it say? It was just like when your sister's the most iconic person and it was like 20 pictures of just Harper being Harper. Harper, she was using you. Yeah, I know. She was using you. She already gets more likes than me. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. She gets more likes than me? No, she doesn't. Maybe you should use her. Yeah, I will. Oh.
Y'all are supposed to support each other. Me and Cash, inseparable. Except for when Cash and Maverick broke up a few times. Maverick used me hardcore. Yeah, I brought this kid to LA. What? Literally. I brought you to LA. I was popping off. Can you not do that with your hair? What?
Why? I don't like it. Wait, what's the song? The Burger King song. Oh, no. What is it? I don't know the Burger King song. With my Burger Queen. Side of fries. That's what you look like, Harper. Oh, no. Keep it like that for the rest of the podcast.
Um, guys, uh, if you don't like me, that's fine. But, you know, watch your mouth. You don't like me? That's fine. Okay, bye. No, literally, I, um, what was it called? That's the OG if you don't like me. Okay, bye. If you don't like me, that's fine. Okay, bye. Is that Miranda Sings? No, that was some, like, musically sound. We don't like Miranda. Oh, wait. Does Miranda sing?
Miranda sings? She does sometimes sing. But she's like, you know her whole character, she's not good at anything. Oh, so she's bad at singing. So she's a terrible singer. She's supposed to be bad at stuff. I'm good at stuff. No. I don't know. She still hasn't made her comeback yet. Harper just said no. Matt said I'm good at stuff. No. No. Uh oh. Oh no. Oh no. Harper, you should not have said that. I'm really good at stuff. You should not have said that. No. No.
Yes, I am. Well, I'm good at math. What a immediate ick. Maverick, you are losing all the women. What is that? Dancing bell? Have clicked off. Oh, you know. I'm just a champion now, which you can refer to me as. You can refer to me as Harper Zelmer. I am the...
Fort Worth Dance Competition Guitars and Cadillacs 2023 Traditional Champion. It looks a little girly with the blue on it, doesn't it? Yeah, the blue does look a little girly. Yeah, it does. It looks like Southern Granny, guys. Yeah, like Southern people wear chunky suits. Hey, this is the first phone call I've ever gotten. You need to turn off your ringer. Who is it? It's your brother. Oh!
This is the first phone call I've ever gotten on the podcast. It's always been you two. Kate's clear so far. Yeah, my phone's rang twice since we started. Kate's never gotten one. Sorry, you don't have friends. Also. You know what's bad? My phone isn't on do not disturb or anything. You don't really think it looks girly? Wait a second. Yes. Yes, it does. Yes, the bell buckle definitely looks girly. Maybe if you like painted the blue like a different color. It feels like somebody would like. You know what I'm talking about? The chunky teal jewelry that Southern people wear. It's like those big old purses. Wow. Yeah. It's like.
I just got this thing. Well, return it. Well, I'm sorry. I can't. Was it meant for a girl or was it? No, it wasn't. It's supposed to be like, go ahead. Just forget it. It's fine. It's just like a dance competition. That's really, I'm sorry, Mav. It's fine. I'll just win another one. You ever won a cheer competition? Yes. They always do. Yep. They always hit zero. Every cheerleader I know has been to Worlds and won. Every cheerleader has won the World Championships. No, literally. Nationals. Sorry, it's the Nationals.
Have you won nationals? They're all going to Worlds. Have you ever hit zero? Yes. Can you please switch the hair? What the heck is... No! Hey, what's zero? Apparently, it's like the best score you can get. The best score you can get. Well... Is that zero? That seems backwards. If you hit zero, you hit all your stuns and you...
Like, you hit all your shots, don't bust any tumbling, but then there's still deductions. And nobody in cheer history has ever gotten a score of a 100 because... Not, like, if you hit 100, that's, like, not a thing. No, but, like, when you get graded for your... What's it called? For your things, you have to... Like, I usually... My highest score has been a 94 or something, which is, like, sounds not good, but it's really good, you know? Yeah. And...
And what happens is you hit a 100, or if you get a 100, then shut up! Oh, sorry, were you talking? You don't sleep when I talk. Were you talking? Yeah, I'm sorry. Sorry, you're turning into Kate now. You don't listen to me when I talk! You can't talk about numbers that long to him. He didn't graduate. Well, if you hit zero, then you...
Here's what I don't understand. When there's like, how many people, there's like 30 or 40 girls out on the mat, yeah? Usually like 20. How do they keep an eye on all 20 girls and make sure all 20 girls hit everything correctly? Are there 20 judges and they all just watch? There are 20 judges and they watch like, or there's usually like 40 judges. Wait, they all watch one girl? So it's not a team sport? What? There's so much drama and cheering. I thought it was a team sport. I was a cheerleader, did you know that? Wait, actually? He was. I was.
I was on a competitive team. Stop touching the mic! You're not adjusting anything! It is, it keeps falling. Look, you went, you went! You're faking it. You're faking it. I twisted it. Thanks. Yeah, anytime. No, I was on a competitive team for a little bit. Really? They got fired. On co-ed? He got fired? Yeah, he did. No, I didn't get fired. I quit. No? He was like 16. Yeah, I didn't get fired. He went to meet a girl. I did work there for free classes. And then he met his girlfriend. Yeah, he joined cheerleading just to meet a girlfriend. To meet girls. Then he got a girlfriend and then he quit.
Yeah, I was homeschooled, so I wasn't around a lot of girls. So when I heard I could join a cheer team, I was like, oh, bet. But did you know the reputation that gives you? Bad reputation. It gave me a pretty good one amongst the cheerleaders. It was pretty fun. I got a game to play. Really? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Feastables? Thanks for ruining the thing. I saw the Feastables, and I just looked at them. It's Feastables.
And Hershey's. Is it sponsored or something? No, we're not sponsored. So I'm going to turn them backwards actually. It's these two chocolate bars. It's Hershey's and Mrs. B's. Wait, what's the game?
So I'm going to eat them. And you guys got to guess how many calories I eat. No, I'll eat them. I'll eat them. All right. Y'all ready? You don't need any more calories. What? This is a stupid game. Cash just wanted to eat a chocolate bar on the podcast. He just wanted to eat the chocolate bar. I felt judged if I was going to eat the chocolate bar. No, how about you?
Do you just panic if you're not talking? Yes. Like, for real. I try to talk for one second. My heartbeat gets faster when I don't talk. Yeah, the spotlight's on you. Come on. Thank you. So I think you should blindfold yourself and eat a chocolate bar and guess what one it is. That's actually what the game actually was. Oh. That's going to be so obvious. That's what I was thinking. Yes.
Well, you can tell I have one of my but we're gonna play it first of all which one you guys think is better He's Hershey's probably Hershey's cuz Hershey's. I never sugar. Yeah, I don't think these rules. Oh my gosh I'm really myself. Can you stop that? Who is it? Who is it? You tell me I don't turn the ringer off. That's who is it. You tell me it's your brother again No, he's got separation issue. Is this one nine seven two number mechanic? Oh
Oh. Oh. I'll call him back. Was it our mechanic? The game. We're going to play the game now. These women will stop interrupting me. Okay, so who wants to go first? I will. Okay. All right, Kate, here you go. You know what? Fine. Oh, wait. You got to close your eyes. All right. But he's... She saw you opening it. Okay, well, I'm not going to give her that one yet. Okay, so I'm getting the other one then. Well, just switch them up. Switch them up. Do a ring around the Rosie. Oh, that one's good. I better...
Do eeny, meeny, miny, moe. I know which one you're going to get. Can I just... Wait. No! Oh, this is so obvious. One is trash. Don't say that. She said the other one is good. I don't care. MrBeast is always like on podcasts. He's like, try my chocolate and be super honest. I'm being super honest. I love he liked MrBeast's. Here you go. You're going to get... You might want to close it right now. First one. Here you go.
I'm not doing that. Just open your eyes. Gosh darn it. No! Okay, now close them. Alright, pop it. But I know you had more than this. Pop it. No. Okay, here's the second one. You have to wait. Yeah, really let it dissolve in your mouth. You have to smell coffee beans to make sure the taste goes away. Wait, are they the same flavor? Yes. Okay, alright. Can you eat the second one now? Gosh darn it. Come on, hurry it up, man. Bro, can you please get that haircut? It's so funny. Huh? That haircut is funny. Please.
- Okay. - All right, what was the first one? - I don't know. - Oh. - Okay, good job, good job. - Next person, Kato. - He wasn't paying attention. That was the whole point of the game. What was it? - You spent 30 seconds eating. - Yeah, you were like. - What do you mean? - I was savoring the flavor. - What? - What? - Am I gonna say it? Am I gonna say it? - Obviously, I know which one was which. - Okay, which one was which? - The first one was Feastival, the second one was Hershey. - Dang it. All right, Mav, your turn. Ready? - Mav, your turn. - Okay, her. - No, Mav, your turn, actually. - I think I know which one's which. - Okay, close your eyes.
Okay, I'm gonna hand this to him. Don't eat it. Okay. Alright. Alright, hand it to him. Alright. Did Harper put this in her mouth first? No, she did not put it in her mouth first. She definitely probably did. No, she was debating between eating it. Come on, hurry. Okay. Oh my gosh. What did you do to it? That was so... She passed it on it. That was so foul. That's pretty tough. I thought you were gonna stop him. You just let him eat it.
I will get you back. Me? It's her. I thought she was going to stop you. No, that was you. I would not have spit on it. Bro, you ate the whole thing and then gave it to him. I knew better than to close my eyes and let you give me something. I knew. Okay, well. But it wasn't me. Especially going you and then her. What was it? That was Feastable for sure. Dang it. My turn, my turn. But don't spit on it. I swear. Don't do anything. I'm not. I'm not. I'm just handing it to you. Okay.
Man, I'm not gonna lie. Hershey's is banging. No, I'm kidding. Don't do it. Hey, it's pretty good. I can feel you moving. Oh, sorry, sorry. Wait, did you eat it? No, don't do that. I ate it. I didn't eat it. No, that was really mean. I cried. Harper, don't eat that one. I'm sorry. I can't hold it. What the frick? What? Yo, leave the podcast. They just spit on my email. Leave the podcast. What the heck? I panicked.
Give me the next one, but not that one. I feel like you're giving me the same one. I feel so much better having that on. You let them spit on mine. Well, that was spit. You rubbed yours on your feet. Are you sure this isn't the... I would way rather someone spit on my food than put their foot in. It was the same one. It was the same one. What happened to it? Oh, nothing. Nothing. No, give me a real one. No, nothing happened to that one. Here's a real one. Cash, stop eating it. I'm sorry. Okay.
You're not even eating the Feastable one, you're eating the Hershey one. You've had enough! Which one's which? Give me the Feastables. Which one was which? You've already ate two. No. Yes you have! Which one is which? The first one tasted the same as the Hershey's. So which one was which? The first one was Hershey's. Wow, that's wrong. The first one was Feastables. Give me the Feastables. You want it? You just wanna eat it? Yes. Here. I can't wait for you to see what we did to that chocolate. There you go.
Wait, what are y'all doing? Oh, you'll see. What are you going to do with that chewed up chocolate? You'll see in the shorts. What is she going to do with the chewed up chocolate now? I don't know, man, but man, I'm getting back on Hershey's. This thing is banging. No, don't. Oh, I can see the addiction festering. It's all good. He always talks about how he doesn't want to eat sugar. And look at me now. It makes his acne bad. Hershey's, Gushers, and Laffy Taffy.
Banana. Those are my three weaknesses. Yo. Yeah, specifically the Laffy Taffy. We're good. Or the banana Laffy Taffy. Do you want to set that somewhere? Yeah. Yeah, he's getting a napkin. He's getting a napkin. Oh, thanks. So what do y'all do to the chocolate? Yeah, what's the point of the chocolate? Just tell me. What are we doing? The point of it? Well, I don't like when I don't like that. You let him spit on hers. Did he fart on it? No, I would way rather someone spit on my food than rub their foot on it. Oh. Why would you tell her? Why would you tell her what happened? Without socks? Without socks?
No, he had sock toe. Oh, okay. Then I'm fine. Only Harper would be okay with that. No, seriously. I've actually ate from my toes. Same. Really? I was using my fork, though. But I only trust my own feet. Y'all use your toes as pants? I was using my fork.
I just wanted to see if I could. You put your fork in your toe? It looks like I chewed myself. And then you ate food? She ate food with her... With my grippers. Wow. She ate food with her grippers. Thank you. Well, that was a fun game. I know Cash enjoyed that one. I think I'm enjoying most of this game. Stop eating it. You're going to break out and be all mad that you had too much sugar. All right. I'll save the rest towards the end of the podcast. You can give me the feast bowls. You don't have to. I would, but if I give Harper the candy, she's going to be like... No!
Cheeto girl. I'll have it down. I keep seeing ASMR people on my For You page and they're like, and then they get a plastic spoon and it's like, oh, really? I have another game. Oh my gosh. I love games. Y'all want to play my next game? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Let me
Let me play first. So I'm going to drink these. We need someone new on the creative team because this is not, these are not games. I'm a big German folk, so let me drink first. I'm going to drink these. Obviously not big enough because you didn't mind my first shot. And you guys got to guess which one I like more from my face. Facial expressions. I'm sorry, what? Let's see. Obviously that's not the game. It's a taste test. Blind. No way. We just did. You're going to be able to tell by the shape of the bottle.
Wait, could you pour it into our mouths? Stupid. Can we get a cup? Perfect. All right, we're going to get some cups, and then... Wait, are they the same shade of blue? Well, you're not going to be able to see. One is blue something, and the other one is...
Blue something. Prime and Gatorade. I'm not going to tell you guys the flavor of them. You know what I forgot about the possum story until just now? What? Later, we put the possum... Kate was in the bathroom. And we put the possum in the bathroom with her. And she proceeded to kick the door down. I did do that. Not mine. We all know it's not mine. Her mechanic's calling. It's actually my nail person.
Really? No. I like to act like Elle Woods. Sorry, what were you saying, Muff? I was saying Kate have the strength of a hundred men and kick the door down. Busted a door down? Yes. Let's go. Here we go. I'm excited. That's what happens when you lock me in a room with a possum. Give me a cup. Give me one real quick. Those are my glasses. That was risky. Who wants to go first? Okay, close your eyes. Can you...
Nope, nope, nope. Alright, close your eyes. Is your phone number still leaked? What are you gonna do to it? I'm not gonna do anything, but you better not open your eyes. I'm not, I'm not. Oh, I hate that noise. That was nice. Dude, I gotta tell y'all my pet peeve after this. Alright, here you go. You can open your eyes now, because you don't know which one. No, it's fine. I won't. Come on, drink it. Oh, that's so nasty. She's so cute.
Harper's definitely a peeker, bro. She did. I watched her. Yeah, you definitely peeked. I 100% believe Harper. Yeah, run it back and see if she peeked. She absolutely peeked. Next, next. Okay. First of all, what's your guess on that one? Prime. Okay. I'm not going to tell you if you're right or not. She cheated. You have the primary. Okay. All right. Dude, she's totally a peeker, bro. You can just look at Harper and you know she's a peeker. No. Don't look at this, Harper. I'm not. Okay. Don't even open your eyes. Here's the cup. Drink it blind.
Her hand knew exactly where that cup was she could see she can literally get you're such a cheater right now You're such a cheater Okay, which one is that oh? Oh, which one is that oh, sorry? I didn't mean to burp into Oh Prime so which one was the first one Gatorade this is like sugary, and I love it. Okay. You cheated though man. Let me do a real one. Oh
I'll be able to tell. You think? Yes. All right, then should I do Kate? Yeah. I don't know. I don't drink either of those drinks. All right. I want somebody to get one of these wrong or else my game, I feel stupid. All right, close your eyes. All right. All right. Don't open. Don't open. There you go. You gotta drink the whole thing. Oh, I actually love Gatorade. You gotta drink the whole thing. I love Gatorade. I know. Oh, she likes that. It's hard sometimes. I love Gatorade.
Come on. I love Gatorade. You still didn't. Just drink the whole thing. Is it that bad? No, thank you. You don't like it? No, thank you. No, thank you. Frick. I love Gatorade. Oh. Oh. That tasted like... Close your eyes. I hope that's not Prime. All right. Because... Now, here's the next one. Prime's supposed to be healthy. Did you do something to it? No, we did not do anything to it. Don't drink it. That's the finest taste ever. I can't believe that.
Finish it. You hurry this. Why do y'all take so long on this? It's just like I've never seen people. It's like she's terrified of a sports drink. All right, which one's which? They both suck. Really? Let me tell you. Okay, well, I knew the first one was prime. I did. Why? Why did you just tell us like that? Like you were like lying to us. I knew it. I knew it after I tasted it, but I knew it. I'm not gonna lie. They're both...
Kind of trash. Don't. I'll take the Gatorade or the Prime. I'll take the Prime. I'll take either. Should we not like slander Prime? No, I'll take that. Prime? What do you mean? It's honest reviews. Actually, Prime's other flavors. I just don't like blue anything. Yeah. Really? That's not very good. Here you go. Like blue Gatorade is not good. I like the clear blue Gatorade. That one used to be banging. This is my favorite. This is my favorite Prime. Frost. But this obviously is not sponsored. You know, one of the things...
Dude, I ate way too much chocolate. That's not good. Kate's going to hear about this later tonight. Are you going to poop the bed? And put it out over it? I'm going to do what Kate did when she saw the possum. That's what I'm going to do. Poop on the floor. Y'all want to know one of the things I hate when I see people do? Fuck their hair behind their ear.
That too. When girls do this, it looks so bad. Well, you don't look too great with that look either. When girls do this. Also, my ear is infected. Oh, it does look infected. Why? I don't know. I really don't know. Yeah, I hate when girls do that. But no, what I was going to say, I hate, dude, when guys sit like this.
I like that. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. I do. I was kind of targeted at you. Yeah, I feel that. Like when guys sit like this, bro. Not gonna lie, I'm not comfortable.
But just not manly. Wait. It's comfortable for you? It can be comfortable. If you're older than 60, I'll give it to you. Look, you can sit like this. Here's the thing. Normally, I start here. But then my foot starts to fall asleep. Shut up, Joe. Then it just evolves. Well, Matt, what if I sat there like this? I sit like this the whole time. I feel like I would sit like this. Harper literally just sits like this.
So proper. I sit crisscross. You're kind of slouched right now. I always sit crisscross. Harper, you should really sit up straight because it's just hurting your height here. You need every inch you can get. You know what I'm saying? What did you say to me? You need every non-inch. Oh, Dave. That sucks. Good one. Yeah, maybe hunch over a little bit there. Yeah, but that's... I can pop my everything really good.
You can what? I can pop everything. Very good. You did that last episode and none of your things were popping. Nothing was popping. Ow. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Ow. Yeah, I still don't believe you. Kate, remember last episode? I think it was last episode. It was an episode where you said, Cash said, you say yeah a lot. And you said, do I? We ran a thing on the video to track how many times you said yeah. Guess how many times it was. Yeah. Guess how many times you said yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know. No, shut up. Don't do it again. Please don't do it again. But guess how many times you said it the entire episode. I know. I know. No, that's not a guess. You know how many times? That's not a guess. 35? No. Wait, hold up. The episode was like 50 minutes long. I'm going to say like... Hold on, hold on. 30,000? Okay. What?
You're closer. It's more than that, Kate. Oh, I thought you were talking about just in that like 30 second clip. No. The entire episode, how many times do you think you said the word yeah? 117. Okay. Harper, how many times do you think she said it? Really? 216. It's 250. 250 times you said. You said the word yeah. Yeah. There was times where you were literally like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The one with Kalani? Yes. Yes.
- I remember 'cause we were all just saying, "Yeah, yeah." 'Cause we were all so mesmerized by her existence, you know? - Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. I was like sitting next to her and I was like, oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I totally understand. I do that when I talk on the, especially when people I don't know, it's the first time I met them. Yeah. Because I feel like it's. Oh yeah. I feel like it's awkward. I feel like it's awkward if you meet a person and they're just talking and you're just like.
Yeah, but like, why don't you adjust it to like, oh, really? Wow. Cool. Nice. Wow. Yeah. You just stuck with the one word. I feel like, okay, if somebody says, I really love blah, blah, blah, or like, I really love gaming, or I really love boxing, like, I would be like, yeah, or like, oh, yeah. Maybe once or twice. Not 250 times. Yeah, that's a lot. Was it on .250? We were going to edit it.
Yeah, like have a light counter mm-hmm, but it would have taken someone literally like three days to get all those clips Yeah, no heart or case says yeah way too much. Yeah, Harper says um way too much Well, I say like I think and I don't know what you actually pretty good at it. Oh, you know wait what touch the mic too much Oh, yeah, you touch the mic too much. You don't you don't really use filler words, but you fidget and
That's a filler word. Matt will be like, hey, he won't be saying anything. He'll just be like. So, like in the mic was perfectly fine the entire time. And where did the sticker go that I gave you? Remember I wrote you a sticker? Yeah, that's gone. I wrote him a sticker that said don't touch his mic and it's gone.
I like your mic, how it has the ridges on it. This one's hard to turn, so he has nothing turning. His thumbs are just sliding over it. No, I can turn mine. No. I don't think you've ever turned it. I genuinely think you're faking it every time. I literally tightened it a while ago. Well, why? It's fine. I don't know. Are you questioning Joe's work? No. Are you questioning how Joe sets up our podcast? It's something that never needs done. It's like me going like... Yeah, that is. George is good. It's very equivalent to just... If Matt's sitting right here, he would be going...
Or the way Harper's been fiddling with the unicorn the whole time. Yeah, I always fiddle with the unicorn chair. Yeah, we're gonna have to move that unicorn. No, I love... I kind of want to take the head off and mount it on the wall. Whoa. Whoa. I just thought it would look cool. It's not a trophy. But like, what? I think cool. How? Wait, can we just like... You want to decapitate the unicorn and mount it? Should we like break it? I don't know, man. To unicorn, not a deer. Would you want to jump on it, maybe?
What? Do you want to jump on it and decapitate it? Oh, no. Harper's all on board. I mean, if you want to try to take its head off, go for it. When I was sitting on it that one episode, I genuinely believed I could rip its head off. Just rip it. Go for it. You guys want me to rip its head off? I don't believe you. Should I rip the unicorn's head off? Cash versus unicorn round one. Cash versus the unicorn round one. I'm telling you, it's a fail. It's head is coming off. Mark my words. All right.
- Three, two, one. - And go. - I can see you shaking. - Try it again. - Three, two, one. - I can't take this seriously. - Oh, oh, oh. - I can't see. - You broke his leg. - Wait, it's broken? - You're too fat, you broke his leg. - Wait, wait. - Unicorn's messed up. Harper, if I can't do this, I promise you, you can't do it. - Okay, so unicorn one, catch zero. - Yeah.
I get better like this though. Oh, that's so sad. It looks like it's doing one of those, you know when those horses do like their dance moves on the rodeo? Oh yeah, they're like, and then they slip in the mud and they're like. Well, I'm glad we didn't completely destroy the unicorn. Man. Yeah, there's no chance of destroying it. I kind of want to try. Try it. Try it. I just want to see. But don't break the unicorn unless you're going to rip its head off. Don't break it, Cash. You already broke it. Okay, anybody can do it if we twist it.
I barely twisted. I barely twisted. If I twisted, I could have got it. Stop so I can do it. No. The fabric's not ripping. Oh, no. Oh, no. Leave it like that. Leave it like that. That was the goal. That was the goal. That was the goal to rip its head off. Yo, this unicorn's ripped. Yo. Yo. What did we do with that thing? It's more realistic, the head, man.
head moves. Oh my gosh, finally. It's like a real horse now. Yo, they got ran over by a car. Wait, we need to add red marker right here. Well, giddy up. That said, guys, I think we should probably wrap this pot up.
We gotta kick our friend to the curb now. Yeah. No, I think he should stay here forever until eventually he dies and then we can mount him like Mav said. Yeah. As a memorial. Do you think he's still got life in him? What'd you say? I asked if you think there's still life in him. Like, you think he's still... No, if you decapitate a person, they still live for 30 more seconds. He's got a good zero seconds left. Okay.
Wait, how do you know that, Harper? Why did he say that when we decapitated him? You know what? Mr. My bio teacher, every time we go into class, he asks questions on the board. And three of his questions so far, because he just started this week, are what would you do or where would you hide a body if you hit it? How would you kill a person if you could kill a person? What class are you in? Bio. So this is his first week and probably his last. How to become a murderer?
No, nobody's telling any administrator about it. And we're all like, what? He's like, where would you hide the body? He's just curious. He's just asking for a friend. Yeah, but that's not how you make friends. That's how you hurt friends. If someone asks me that, I'm immediately not being their friend.
No, that's not what I meant. Like asking for a friend. You should cut the horn off. If you guys like... Never mind. Do you get it? No. I understand. Thanks, guys. Yeah. Don't sniff Sharpies, Kate. I've never done that before. You just did. That's my gateway, Kate. Give it to me. Give it to me. No, I'm not. You said it's a gateway?
Getting rid of it. Yeah. Throw gateways away, Kate. We don't want those. Okay. I think on that note, we should probably get off the pod. Yeah, I gotta go get my Sharpie. And that is our gateway out of the pod.
- Bye bye. - All right guys. - Wait, wait, wait! We probably have merch out by now, Shu. You should go check it out. - It's Peace Out Bros, shaka. - Yeah, thanks for-- - That's-- - Yeah. - That was Harper's idea. - And also, that was my whole idea. - So Harper takes credit for it. - Okay, anyways, yeah, go check out our merch. It's probably out by now. - Hopefully.
Hopefully, if not, it should be out soon. So stay tuned. Maybe link in bio, possibly. Peace out, bro. Shaka. Whoever has the most viewed video using a clip from this podcast on TikTok or YouTube Shorts, we're going to be personally FaceTiming. Post as many times as you want, but make sure to tag the podcast and use hashtag the LOL podcast in the title slash description. Good luck and we hope you win.