I Went To Homecoming With My Ex!
01:07:01 Share

- Harper went to homecoming with her ex-boyfriend. - No. - Oh. - It was really awkward because he wanted to sit next to me and I was like, "I'm just gonna sit next to my friend." - Wait, so you didn't even sit next to him? - Nope. - So I was in the car with my friend one time. She's about to throw up in this Uber and the Uber guy is like, "I can't stop, but if you throw up, that's a $500 charge." I take one for the team. She's in the back seat throwing up in my hands and I'm choking it out the window. - Oh no!

Welcome back. Okay, Matt, you go. I was talking. Matt, I would like to just say that we just got straight out of the car, straight back from one of the greatest eras of our life, honestly. Greatest vacations of all time. Greatest vacation. What happened? One of the greatest. Some would say it is the greatest. But Harper didn't come. It was a really fun week. Harper did not come to our great vacation. I would have. It was fun, but it was a bit tiring as a girl, I would say. It was awesome. No, it was not tiring.

for me because I didn't my husband didn't like beg me to play volleyball every single game but the guys there was like 18 guys and they were all like Kinsey has to play she's the only good player Kinsey was very good at volleyball Kinsey was first pick every time she's very good at volleyball until we figured it out but also it was like summer camp we literally all slept in bunkhouses and we played basketball and cornhole and volleyball and slip and slide you had like a big master bedroom oh yeah everyone slept in a bunkhouse you know besides me yeah you had like a big and you I

- I was in the office. - Whoa, whoa, we slept in the office?

Yeah, but it had a queen bed. This is true. And me and Kate had this crazy master bedroom low-key. Low-key. Low-key Cash and Kate were the ones who put the trip together. And there was like 14 people in a bunkhouse. Yeah, there was like dudes. Like 14-year-old dudes in a bunkhouse. Yeah, and I had been talking about... No, no, no. You just said 14-year-old dudes. It was not 14-year-old dudes. No, no, sorry. It was 14 dudes in a bunkhouse. I don't know why I said year-old.

That's crazy. That's weird. It was amazing. Highlights of the trip, honestly. Man, you've got to feel left out, man. You do, you do. Cash made a lot of the highlight reels. Yes, he did. And a lot of the low-light reels as well. I don't even know if we can... I'll say this first highlight, so we may skip straight to the second highlight. So first highlight is Cash went down the slip and slide naked. I did. With another man. With another man. Who was also naked. Chase...

Chase Martin. Can you say that? Chase Martin. That's his name. I was gonna say, what happens? Me and him, necky down the slide. What happens after dark? Can this be said? I'm glad I wasn't there. I don't even know if it can be said. Kansi and I were already

- We were already in bed and all the guys were still outside like in the hot tub and stuff. - Oh, did that first night? - Yeah, it was nighttime. - It was all the guys. - And me and him were just like, let's go down naked. And then we just went down. - Okay, you made fun of Maddox, but the way you say naked, you're like, "Naked." - Naked. - Naked. - Naked and afraid. - That's like a country way to say it. - You know, naked and afraid is such a, I never watched that show. - Wait, we gotta continue with the highlights. - Oh. - Second highlight of the trip, Cash again, decided he's gonna jump off the two-story house

Across a gap that's probably 30 feet Wow, I do a lot of highlights here and then Kate comes out Kate was the highlight of you as Harper Do we I wish you had a picture of it? Oh, I have a picture. I got a whole video. Oh I wanted to jump off the house into the pool. Just one time I bet I can let me show you

And I go up there. Kate has like a mental breakdown. That was pretty mad. Of me being on the roof. No, no, no. I've never seen someone walk with so much anger. Oh, I know. Dude, that walk was like this. When she was walking over to you? Yes. That was it. I was like, oh.

Wait, I have like the tail end of Kate storming into the house. You can't see Kate, but you can see Alex. He's like sprinting after Kate. He's like, oh, this is going to be so funny. Parker's running into.

- Yeah. - All right, let's see, let's see. - I was mad, I'm telling you. - This is her running in, so she's already been mad. - No, I didn't run. - Oh yeah, she comes up on the balcony. How like surrounding? - Oh! - She's already on the roof and she's trying to get me down. - Wait, scroll again to the left.

And you can see... Is he naked? No. He sure does look like it. I'm not naked there, okay, guys? Yeah. That's when he's, like, in a little hole, and he's like, oh, yell at me, Kate. Oh, wait, you got more here. Oh, there's a lot more here. I was very mad. Look, I was going to jump from there into the pool. Oh, that's a little, like, that's a little far. And they didn't want me to do it. Can you drop all those videos and pictures to Alex? Yeah. That's crazy. Unfortunately...

I don't like the thought of him dying. I did. It was awesome. I wouldn't die. I was going to make it. Second highlight of the trip. Third. Third. Somebody owed Cash some money. Ha!

Okay, no, I'll say the short version. I won't include the guy's name, but we're still friends. It's all love now. Surprisingly, what the? I would never be friends with somebody after that. That's insane. But anyways, me and the guy, we just, we got, had a disagreement.

About some things. And it was the first time I ever slapped somebody in my life that wasn't Maverick. Which is a sane song. It was. Attention, renters. Do you ever get the sense that you're caught in a cycle of rent payments? Seeing your hard-earned cash just disappear? It's time to shift the narrative and start reaping some real benefits.

Enter Built Rewards. Built is breaking ground as a neighborhood rewards program that hooks you up with points on your rent. Every month, pay your rent and watch the built points roll in. Use points to jet off on a dream vacation. Put your points toward a flight or hotel stay with 500 plus airlines and 700 plus hotels and properties. You can also use your points to book fitness studio classes or redeem them toward future rent payments. They're designed to meet your lifestyle.

So pay rent hassle-free through the bill rewards app and your rent game. Just got a major upgrade. Built points have been consistently ranked the highest value point currency by the points guy and bank rate earn points by paying rent right now. When you join built.com slash LOL podcast, that's J O I N B I L T.com slash LOL podcast. Make sure you use our URL. So they know that we sent you join built.com slash LOL podcast to start earning points with your rent payments online.

But this guy is also a very close friend of mine, okay? So it's not like I just slapped him. It's almost like he's a brother. Yeah. It's almost like he is a brother, right? So I slapped him. Yeah, that's not. And, you know, I shouldn't have done it. It was very bad. But, yeah, I definitely got mad at him. Please don't press charges. I definitely got mad at him for that. Play it for Harper. There was that. That was the...

No, I can't even do that. No, no, we can't do that. But yeah, that was the first time I ever really hit someone that wasn't Maverick. It sounded kind of like the song, it's like, everybody clap your hands. It was crazy. That's so funny. But we made out, we're all good now. Me and him continue, we're friends. So many highlights. That is insane.

Wait, who videoed that video? Oh, another highlight. Some 15-year-old girls came over to take some photos, and then they wanted to play volleyball against us. The owner of the Airbnb brought them over. He's like, hey, my girls want to play volleyball against y'all. I took them. So we played volleyball against this volleyball squad that's way better than us.

Kinsey's about to set a ball. She's getting ready. She thinks she's going to set a ball. They spike this ball straight into her face. Oh, yeah. That's so fast. Yeah, they hit me in the head. Kinsey was like, I played volleyball. Bam. And see, that's what I say. To be fair, though. That's what I say. What I mean when I say Kinsey makes me look so mad because Kinsey laughed it off. I would have been, literally, I would have cried for an hour. It was coming in like a rocket. It was so hard. I was like, oh, if she starts crying, that's so valid. Like, I want to cry for her. Yeah.

To be fair, though, it tipped off my hands because I put my hands up like this and skinned through my hands. Did it hit your nose? Yeah, it did. I love volleyball. Do you play volleyball, Harper? Yeah. I played volleyball for two years. Wait, actually? I would school you on volleyball. No, you wouldn't. No. Wait, hold up. Pause. You think Harper would beat Madden? Harper would destroy.

Both of you. Wait, wait, wait. So do you think you and Harper would beat me and Cash in volleyball? Me alone would beat you in volleyball. So me and Harper would for sure. Okay. Okay. Destroy. That's actually like. You know what? I say we do that. Me and you versus the three girls in volleyball. We would destroy you. And I say we upload. No, yeah, we upload it to YouTube. And it's just an uncut version of the whole game. We're all mic'd up. Okay, done. We can say whatever we want. We're not fun.

No, but you're blocking them. They're not going to win. No, no. There's a lot of rules in volleyball. Like, if you touch the net, we get the point. Yeah, yeah. The only thing that the boys scare me about is apparently, so there's this rule in volleyball where, like, you know when you, like, hit it with your fingers over the net, you can't, like, let it sit back in your hand too long or else it's like you're throwing it. They kind of.

They do it every single time. That's not true. They're like, hold it for three seconds and boom. It's fake news. They get mad because I dunk on them in volleyball. You don't. That's the problem. You're not supposed to dunk in volleyball. Yeah. You're supposed to hit the ball. I slam it over the net like, boom. Jesus.

And they don't, no, I don't grab it. I tap it. No, no, no. I swing back and I just, whoop, boom! And they all get mad. Yeah. So, anyways, that's the only thing that scares me is because it is like the strength of a man throwing a volleyball at us and like, I don't vibe with that. Not just the strength of any man. Strength of this man. An average man. Oh my. What the? What the? Wow.

That's the strength of a man. Not a super weak one, not a super strong one. I would like to think that I'm above average strength, man. I don't think so. Oh gosh. So, after that, my highlight reel, what is it, you may ask? I got to read my book. What the? A lot. Does anybody know why that weirdo is looking at us? He's just like posted up on our wall right now. Posted up. He's eyeballing me. I think he's got the hots for me.

I don't think so. Possibly. You never know. Let's see. Other highlights of the trip. Honestly, he had to be there for the rest of them. I can't really. You can't put it into words how fun it was. Throwing Kate down the water slide? Throwing Kate down the water slide was fun. If you guys didn't see that TikTok, we threw Kate down the water slide. Great time. In the bed. Did you see that TikTok? No. It's pretty fun. Did it go viral? Oh, it's so viral. I just posted it a couple hours ago, but it's already on a million views. Wait.

What? No, not 16. It's already at 1 million. Wait, wait, wait. Where? You can watch it later, sweetheart. Right now we're in a podcast. Pop the video. Pop the video up on screen. Parker is notorious for just not caring. Oh my gosh. Yeah, five hours ago. Oh my gosh. Was she actually still asleep? Oh yeah, she's just completely there. Confused, you might say.

So Mai would even say she was awake. My sister sent me a screenshot of that too. She sent you a screenshot? She just sent me this picture with no context. Who is he? Just... I'll text it to you, Alice. You're not getting the full thing. You gotta hear the screams.

- Oh wait. - I can't hear the screams. - But there's music, you can't hear it. - Oh, there is music. Make sure we upload the non-music version. - Oh my gosh, that's so much fun. - Oh, that slide was so fun. That slide cooked. - Dude, I wish you were there because Meemaw could have took in you and just rocketed you down that slide. - Oh my gosh.

So fast. So fun. Wait, I have a video I think here. Yeah. It was, we went crazy. I'm like, we were trying to get shots, like different videos of us going down. So then everyone was like, okay, we're all going to go head first on our stomachs now. And I was like really nervous to do it, but I was like, fine, I'm not going to be a baby. So I like get on the tube to try to go down on my stomach and I completely slide right off the tube and I go the whole slide down on my stomach and now I'm extremely bruised. There's a video. Do you guys have the video of me falling on the slide? I don't. Maybe we can put up

like the highlight to the trip or something? - I think Chase has it. - I don't know, if we have the video of me standing on the slide going down, pop that up too, 'cause that one was kind of brutal. I hurt my tailbone. - It was a really fun slide. I lost a pair of sunglasses, so RIP sunglasses. - Quit it. - Quit it. - Here, show Harper this one. Let me see it. - Give me it. - Here we go. - What? - That was a pretty good guess. - That was a noise, have I ever heard? - It's pretty long. - It's pretty far. - Keep going.

You went down pretty quick when you went down, like especially... What is that noise? That's our voice. That's okay, it happens. How long did it go?

Like right after that video, it stopped. Oh my gosh. But what would happen is we'd go with like eight people at a time. So it'd be like one person go and then right after the next person. And somehow I always ended up in the front and everyone's bodies were like slamming against the wall at the end. But you would go so fast and it'd be so funny because you get to the end and then you just turn around and watch everyone like fumbling.

down my sister went there once with her friends yeah yeah she went there like for a friend's birthday party or something like that like they rented it out yeah did y'all just rent it out for fun just go they just let us go that's insane it was a lot of fun we just because the boys like five years ago took this trip to hawaii and they always were like we need to get everyone back together for hawaii and then instead of hawaii they were like

- And Texas. - Are you tired of smelling like you just ran a marathon in a sauna on a hot day? Or worse, like you've been living in a house with Cash Baker

No? Just me? Okay. Well, either way, I've got just the thing for you. Lume. Lume is a whole body deodorant that keeps you smelling fresh by blocking odor all day and controlling odor for up to 72 hours. My favorite part is that they have scents like Clean Tangerine, Lavender Sage, and

and toasted coconut to keep the cash smell far away. And it was created by an OBGYN, so you can rest assured it is safe to use anywhere on your body. Lumi's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice, and free shipping. As a special offer for listeners, all customers get 15% off all Lumi products with our exclusive code. That's right, not just new customers...

returning customers as well and if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack that equals over 40% off their starter pack use code LLpod for 15% off your first purchase at LumiDeodorant.com that's code LLpod at L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T dot com please support our show and tell them we sent you yeah that's fun oh here it is here it is Harper what did you do?

Almost gave himself a concussion. Oh, we need to see that video of Jesse going down. Oh, gosh. Yeah, that kind of hurt my tailbone. That's crazy. Wait, did you see the video of Jesse? Oh, we don't. Oh, I could have caught that for you. I should have offered. Did we see what? The video of Jesse. He, like, jumped up and, like, slammed his tailbone. He went down the water slide all week, and we were like, you got to go down the slide. He goes down the slide, he gets a tube. He jumps, and he just...

He just lands on the top of the slide, man. I thought he hurt himself. I'm not gonna lie. But then he had fun. He had fun. Yeah. He liked it a lot. He was just worried about the water being cold. And it was kind of cold. The water was pretty cold. And I got tan. Can you tell? You got what? So tan. Hey, did we ever talk about the cruise? Nope. No. We didn't ever talk about our cruise? I don't think so. Alex and Sam talked about our cruise. We might have talked a little bit about it.

A little bit about getting to the point. Did you talk about the dolphins? No, we didn't talk about the dolphins.

I don't think we talked about the dolphins. Harper, have you ever swam with a dolphin? Yes. Because I'm practically a dolphin wizard at this point. I don't care. I don't care. I don't need you to care. You wouldn't care if you knew what he did to these dolphins. Guess what? The dolphins obeyed me. No, the dolphins did to him. No, the dolphins did things to him. Gasp was like dolphin king for a little while. The dolphins obeyed me. I go like this.

They go, "Yes, sir." I go, "Forward." They go forward. I say, "Reverse." They go in reverse. I say, "Jump." They jump. I rode a dolphin, some say, with a fin in my hand, straddling it like a horse like this.

imagining him with the dinosaur thing as his little triton sword. It came under my legs. I grabbed its fin and I rode to sea. No way. That should be the thumbnail. I want you to picture the man you love riding a dolphin. Not like that by any means, but like... Shut up. Kate was on the cruise ship. I rode by her on the balcony. She's on the balcony. I was like, hey, Kate. Whatever.

- What happened? - No, it was more so like-- - There were dolphins on the cruise ship? - No. - No. - Oh. - They were in the water. He found them, they were in the water. - So as much as Cash would like to think he literally made that dolphin his own, actually, the dolphin instructor, the real dolphin whisperer, said that he's gonna swim by, and when he swims by, you hold onto his fin gently. And so, I need a demonstration. Can you get on the floor, please?

Do you want me to be the dolphin? Yes. I'll be you. Okay? Why can't he be him? This is uncalled for. That's not the town a dolphin makes. Let's start with the dolphin making, Matt. Don't they sound like that? That is a sheep, Matt. No, when we bleep something out, that is... Yeah, that's close. Okay, I'm going to show you guys what Cash looks like. So, this is a dolphin. This is a twin. Oh, no.

That does look more like a fin. That's a good fin. Thanks, guys. It does look like a fin. I think it's offending me. It's not funny. Dad wants you to think that he rode it like this. Yeah, this is all right. He's trying to act like he rode the dolphin like this. I did. But he didn't, first of all. They didn't see it. Gerald was not there. Aw. Well, so next up, instead of sitting on top, he hugged it like this. No. Hugged it.

You hugged a dolphin? With a life jacket. With a life jacket on? That's insane. That's the most unmanly thing I've ever heard. Now ask him what size his life jacket was. Fine. What size was the life jacket? They gave me an extra small, but listen. Listen. That thing was tight as frick, man. Listen. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. You can almost swim, but not quite. You need a little flotation. Yeah. No, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something, you're

I might have rode the dolphin like that, but guess how I also rode that dolphin. No exaggeration. No exaggeration? I stood in the water like this.

My feet were behind me like this. Like a little princess? What is that? No, no, no. You guys ever see the little thing on the little, what is it called? The little box and it spins around? Yes. The ballerina? Yeah. Get face down and show us what you did. Little ballerina boy. Come on. I was just standing in the water like this. Right? That's a pretty accurate representation of the ballerina in the box. Yeah, that's pretty close. So polite. Start spinning a little? No. So demure. Two dolphins. One on this foot, one on that foot.

Oh. Gerald's in my hand. They're both grabbing their noses. They go on my feet. I tell them to put their noses on my feet. And then I levitate out of the water. And they go forward. I don't believe that. Did that actually happen? Yes. No. I was Aquaman. Oh, no. And I went like this out of the water. And I'm just hovering. This part of my water is going probably like 30 miles an hour. Let me tell you.

Now let me translate for you. So that's Cash's version of what happened. I'm going to tell you the other 30 people who were there, what they witnessed. We witnessed Cash again in his life jacket without Gerald.

doggy paddle out to the middle. Doggy paddle. With a boogie board, okay? He's laying with his tummy first on the boogie board and his feet are back and he's got his little feet kicking behind him. Like Superman. Yeah, so he's laying on his boogie board and two dolphins come up behind him. Now, mind you guys, Cash had twisted his ankle the day before. So he was extremely nervous for a dolphin to come and push his foot.

So he said, I will outsmart the dolphin. There are two dolphins. So instead of having both of his feet back, he crossed one up so that the second dolphin wouldn't be able to touch his hurt ankle. And dolphin did not like that. It was crazy. They said, he said, put your feet out and lock your legs and ankles. And I was like, okay, well, this thing was bad, but the guy doesn't know that. So I was like, I got it. But there's two dolphins. I don't know how this is going to work, but I'm going to hide my other foot. So I hid my foot just like this.

First dolphin grabs my foot, puts his nose right down there. The other dolphin finds this foot, grabs it, and puts it there for me. Kicks it where he wants it. He was like, so the dolphin manhandled you. Yeah. I told you. So what did the dolphin do to your feet? What was the point? So then the dolphins just like. So you obeyed the dolphin. While you're on the boogie board, the dolphins would push you by your feet. Like literally just like, it was so strong. It would push you by your feet and you just like skidded across water. 30 plus mile an hour sunset. Yeah.

No, wait, how fast was it? Like 10 miles per hour? I mean, it was like... 30 plus, some say. No, it was like literally just like a push in water. Like imagine if I came into the water and pushed you. Oh, shut up, Kate. I had a wake behind me. There was a dude surfing back there. Yeah, no, it was pretty quick, but it also is not near as dramatic as Cashmere. It opened my eyes to the sea world because listen, dolphins, you could see someone just going...

unhumanly fast in the water and you would have no clue that a dolphin is just pushing them. Like I'm talking, you can just be like this in the water and a dolphin can make you go like 30 miles an hour. Just shee. But don't let the boogie board throw people off. You know what's funny? I actually thought he was being for real like about the dolphins like pushing his feet and him going up in the water.

But then I realized like cash is so big that the note, like the, you know how like, yeah, it's like big nostrils and stuff. They're like nostrils will like go in and it would hurt them. Hey, everyone, as we dive into the holiday season, I want to share something with you that's been on my mind between shopping for gifts, attending parties and traveling. It's easy to overspend. And I'm sure so many of you can relate. And that brings me to the sponsor of today's episode, Acorns. Acorns makes it easy to start automatically saving and investing for you, for your kids and

We'll be right back.

And you don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now. That could be $5 a day or just the spare change you have. That's right. Acorns can round up every purchase you make to the dollar and automatically invest your spare change for you. And you can get a bonus investment just for buying the stuff you need from the brands you love. Head to acorns.com slash LOL or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today.

Yeah, I turned that dolphin into a pug, man. That thing was...

I think it was puggy at the end. It was fun. Yeah. That was actually funny. And also, the rest of the story seemed fishy. I'll tell you exactly how you could imagine me going through the water. Y'all ever seen Captain Jack Sparrow? When his boat's sinking and he's just still sailing? That was me, but my boat wasn't sinking. Are you salty?

Now that one didn't hit. I see. Okay. How did you do it? So, yeah, that was the, that was one excursion. And then we did our scuba diving, which everyone knows I get sick when I scuba dive. So I probably, I get so nauseous, dude. And I start panicking underwater. And you nearly died. Yeah.

- Yeah. - You nearly died. - I literally almost died scuba diving. - We didn't know. - Nobody knew. - I almost died scuba diving and no one even cared. It was crazy. - If you throw up while you're scuba diving, you die. - Yeah.

And no one told her that. You died. You just died. If you throw up while you're under the water, you're supposed to throw up into your ventilator. And it'll get, like, flushed out. But you're supposed to throw up because when you throw up, you go, ugh. And your first instinct is to breathe in air again. But if you're underwater, there's no air to breathe. So you would suck so much water in that you would, like, literally drown yourself. Listen, I believe that that's true. But I also believe that that is a lie. Because if you got some chunky throw up, that thing's not getting filtered through. Then you're just, ugh, back in that chunk. I mean, it was, ugh.

I'm having to delete my note now because Maverick brought up the dolphin story before I wanted to bring it up. Now I have to delete my note. And just so y'all know, my note that I'm deleting says, I tamed a dolphin. So that's my note. So just so you know...

I'm scared to throw up. Like, I literally threw up in the car. I don't, yeah. Like, that was so embarrassing. Dory was, like, scary. It was scary. And I threw up so silently in the car that Jordan didn't even know that I threw up. That's good. Yeah, that's good. I would rather throw up silently than, like, sit. And the whole Starbucks bag got filled to the brim. No, it didn't.

Oh, wow. I have a gross story in the car. That happened to me. I had to empty my bag. He did. Yeah, on an airplane. He had to empty his bag on the airplane. You've told this story before. Yeah, I've told this story, but I'll tell the quick version for you guys. Was it like the little white bag? Just say it again. It's been like a year since you told it. Yeah, it has been. Pretty much, I was on the way to the airport. Was it a white bag?

Yeah, it was a little way back. The airport? No, no, this was a brown one. What? You know those classic brown lunch sacks? Sure. It was that. No, it wasn't. Yes, it was. Yeah, it was. And pretty much, I was on the way to the airport. I stopped and got me taquitos at Quick Trip. I told him not to. And this is at like 7 a.m. My dad loves taquitos.

I told him not to. I said, don't stop at QT for taquitos. You're going to regret it. Wait, it's going to be the quick version, right? I stopped there. I have bad stomach aches. I'm like, I'm going to have to pull over and poop on the side of the road. No exaggeration. That's what my plan was. And then it goes away. I go through the airport. I get on the plane. I sit down. We're taking off. And I'm like, oh, man. It's bad. And finally, we get in the air. And it's like bumpy, though. This is the worst turbulence I've ever had in my life. We're like, okay.

Thank you for the registration. I was like, oh no, it's coming. And I grabbed my brown paper sack that they ironically had in the front. I've never seen the brown paper sack. A lot of times they're not even there. Yeah, they're not even there on the airplanes. But this one had one. So I grabbed it and I run to the bathroom. What are you doing, Kate? I was looking. She was Snapchatting. No, I felt like my hair was messed up. So I was like. Anyways, I grab it. I run to the bathroom. I sit on the toilet. And this has only happened twice. Did you pull your pants?

sit on the toilet no no i sat on the toilet with my pants up straight in his pants straight in my pants well i know but you're throwing up so no no no wait have y'all ever gone to the bathroom at nighttime with the lid down and accidentally go to the bathroom yeah yeah me too like you're what you're just in the middle of your sleepiness yes and you're like walking to the bathroom with your eyes closed and you sit down and you just accidentally go to the bathroom but the toilet seat is down with the toilet lid down yes what no way

- It happens. - Special ed seems unacceptable for women. If anything, I see how a man could do it. But how does a woman do that? - You're tired, it happens. - It's mid-sleep. - No.

because there's a rim on the toilet. Oh, no. Nothing is making sense at that hour. You should know immediately as soon as you touch the seat. Oh, no. Got to lift that up. That is insane. By the time you realize it's too late. That is insane. It's not insane. And I'm glad that that's not an original experience because I've never said that out loud, but it has happened to me. I just don't understand why y'all would pee on a toilet lid. Who said it was pee? Sometimes. I mean, it was. But sometimes.

Sometimes when you like are going to the bar. Oh my gosh, Harper's right. Imagine it was poop, bro. They just don't even know apparently. They're just sitting there. Oh my gosh, what if y'all pooped and like y'all literally sat in it? Left it for cash. Wait, is it because y'all try to hover?

No, we don't have her in the night time. I don't have her at home. Okay. Oh, wait, oh, wait. I didn't finish my story. Oh, sorry. So I grab my sack. I run to the back. All the flight attendants are yelling at me. And they're like, sit down, sit down. I was like, no. And I go to the bathroom and I shut the door. And I'm throwing up and diarrhea at the same time. It was a two for one. Just like. And I'm just. Stop with the noise. Okay.

No, I was like making face like he's animated he's like there which one you wanna do all the one throw up, okay? Yes, my bad no be serious tell us how it sounded so we can actually reenact it okay? Yeah, it's like oh You mean like what?

From like the back of the throat? I don't know why we're talking about this. Was it from the back of the throat or was like... I just want to be brought into the moment. And I'm throwing up and diarrhea. It doesn't matter, Harper. Just eat this. Thanks. What is this? I don't know. I think that's actually Harper's mom's pin.

That's a pin? It might be. I think it probably is. Some say. And I fill my bag up. My bag is full. And I was like, I'm going to have to pull an old switcheroo.

And I was like, in the middle of all the turbulence, I'm like this. Like, this is something that has happened for decades. And I have turbulence. This is exactly how it's going. And I'm trying to keep the bag steady. And remember, this thing's tiny. The room is tiny. Yeah, I'm in like a little airport backseat. Y'all just feel the seats about this tall. And then I was like. Was the bag filled? Oh. Oh! Yeah! Were you still thinking?

- Were you still leaking out the backside at the same time? - Yeah, I got it. - Ew, ew, stop, stop, we're done. Let me tell you all my throw up story 'cause I'm sick of hearing this. - You ever have a water hose in your hand? - Stop, gosh! - Okay, I'm gonna calm this down, I'm gonna calm this down. No, we're done! - Oh, sorry.

- Okay, that's enough. - That's what your butt did. - It was still like spraying out. - Stop, stop, stop. - Was it really that bad? - Oh no. - Okay, so I'm gonna calm us down, okay? So I was in the car with my friend one time, we're in an Uber, right? - Are you changing the story? - I'm changing the story 'cause mine is still about throw up but it's less disgusting. - Good, okay.

And anyway, she's about to throw up in this Uber and the Uber guy is like, I can't stop. But if you throw up, that's a $500 charge. I can't stop. I'm not stopping, but if you throw up in here, that's $500. He's wearing a bag, man. He's like. No, I'm looking around like viciously for something for her to throw up in because she's in the backseat. We're in an extra large Uber. Nothing. There's absolutely nothing. This man doesn't even have Kleenexes. Who doesn't have a Kleenex in an Uber? Anyways, so the great friend that I am trying to save $500. $800.

Oh, man. Is it plugged in? Yeah. Okay, the great friend that I am, trying to save her $500, you know, I take one for the team. She's in the back seat, throwing up in my hands, and I'm choking it out the window. And I'm like, okay, I just... I'm sorry. It had to happen. No, no, you shut up. You said the story was less disgusting. I actually argue this is more disgusting. They're throwing up into your hands? I was helping her. You're telling me no one...

for getting it all over the bathroom in an airplane that is public. She threw up in your hands. You were water founcing it. Just shoveling the throw up. And that's called a good friend. No. That's called a bad decision. How long did it take before you got to wash your hands? Oh, like 30 minutes. It was a rough drive. Yes. Wait, hold on. What? What do you mean, wait, hold on. We're in the middle of hand throwing story. Matt, hold on.

She said hold on. Can you text him? Can you type faster? Do you want me to send it? No, Matt, hold on. Sorry. Y'all can unhold. Oh, thanks. So you're like, I'm catching up. So,

So are you throwing, holding the girl? That is crazy. I don't know. That's a good friend right there. Wait, I'm confused why you did that. What did that accomplish? Wait, you're telling me, so her friend didn't have to pay the $500? Yeah. I think she still had to pay the fee. No, I would. That's arguably the way it works for me. That's just spreading it more around. If I was in an Uber, and I was like, can you stop or something? I'm going to throw up. And he was like, I can't stop. But if you do throw up. We're on a highway with no sides. Oh.

That's what happened yesterday. That's tough, but I'm telling you, like, pull over. If I'm saying I'm going to throw up, pull over. Wait, wait. Arguably, you could say it's kidnapping. Let me out of the car. I'm just wondering where all these brain cells went, because why didn't you just roll down the window and throw up out the window? She's in the back seat. There was no window? Oh, you can't move to a window? I guess she could have crawled over. That was the solution at the moment. Is she going to crawl over?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. She's in the back seat, so you're turning around. You're like, give it to me? Okay. Yeah, that was their better solution. Hey, you could crawl up here and throw out the window, but I got a great idea. Just open my hands. No, no, I'll just throw out the window. It's like this. Was it a plane transfer? Yeah. I got it.

It was not thought through. All the way in the backseat? That's crazy. It was quick. She wasn't like, oh, I need to throw up right now. She got like 20 seconds. No, no. It was just like, and I was like, no! And that's how it happened. That's crazy. You're real for that. But you're telling me not a single person in the car had even like a little purse or something?

You know, they probably did have purses, but no one was offering them up. I think I would have dumped that purse out so quick. This happened to me and Kate recently. On our way back from our cruise, we're in this Uber, and

I'm in drama. How are you always in drama on the pod? I don't know. Are you in drama all the time? It's that 5.30 drama. It just hits different. It does. It hits like crazy. It be hitting different though. And like she's been out of town. Like there's been some stuff she's got to catch up on. Yeah, exactly. All right, sorry. Keep going. No, I want to hear about the drama now. We're here. On the cruise, me and Kate get in the Uber. We're Ubering back to our hotel or whatever. Or the airport.

And Kate's taking a nap in the backseat on my lap. I had started to feel nauseous, though. Yeah, Kate's like, I'm feeling nauseous. Lays down. This Uber driver is crazy. He gave me car sickness. Kate lays her head on my lap and goes to sleep. And then after like 20 minutes, I grab a plastic bag. You try to grab it quietly, and I hold it right here.

And Katie's like, looking at me, she looks up, she's like, why do you have that? And I was like, I'm feeling nauseous too. She stood up so quick, man. I was like, yeah, my bad. I should have told you if I was down there. I wouldn't have, what did you tell me? No, I was more bothered. You were just going to throw up over her head. I was more bothered. Into a clear bag. You want to know

- Do you wanna know where he got this plastic bag?

Where? Oh, her book was in it. I think I picked this baggie out and her book's in it. My last case book in a plastic baggie. My last case book in my throw-up bag. Oh my god. No, that's fine. When I travel, I put my books in Ziploc bags when I'm going to a beach or something to protect them from the water. Yeah, I realize that that's a really smart idea because my book is now all like...

squiggly squiggly yeah just sitting on the table outside near the pool it like soaked up all the moisture you gotta keep take a gallon bag and then your husband's probably gonna throw up in it one day that's fine yeah i don't get carsick yeah i was pretty i was pretty irritated because i got carsick and then cash had to like steal my thunder and get carsick too it was stupid oh like the knee thing yeah yeah yeah no but yesterday it was it was weird i don't

know what happened but it was really bad like i i suddenly just started like i was like salish can i have the bag and she's like don't throw up harvard please don't do that i was like can i don't and i was like can i just have the starbucks bag just in just in case i'm not gonna $500 yeah i was like i'm not i'm not gonna throw up i swear she's like she's like okay i'll just hand it to you so she hands it to me it's like the same face kate made about i don't know what i'm saying but it's just like i got you yeah she's like i

There is a bag right there, but I'm real. Yeah, I'm a real friend. No, but I literally was like, I can't throw up out of the window because that's just like, I will get it on the side of the car. That's better. That is better. Who was driving? Jordan. Oh. So it was really embarrassing. So I threw up and I saw a smiling panda.

That is bad. She's talking about something she ate earlier. She saw that. The first time she told the story, it was just as bad as the second. Yeah, it was really bad. And then she proceeded to talk about it all day, apparently.

apparently yeah she's even talking about it on the podcast twice i can't even stop talking about it's really crazy guys you know you should talk about y'all should have been there like it was insane you should talk about that i just learned what uh who you went to homecoming with oh yeah yeah i didn't hear about that we needed to talk about this and i wasn't sure if we were going to talk about it on the podcast because this was actually crazy honestly we'll let you i brought it up here we are yeah but i think kate should take the reins on it i will

I will take the reins. Take the reins, Kate. I was. I was like, why? I know. Why? I didn't have anybody else to go with, though. Listen, to cue you guys in, Harper went to Homecoming.

Should I say that again? Sure if you want. To cue you in. Alright, and cue. Harper went to homecoming with her ex-boyfriend. No, not ex-boyfriend. Ex-talking stage. Of two years. Wait, y'all talked for two years?

Harper, Harper, no. I know. I know. Have you learned nothing from the terror stories I told you? Yeah. Well, you're living now. We're talking about the pain I was in. Wait, are you talking about me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You. You like ruined her. You were that guy, bro. You like ruined my life.

Am I the drama? Thank goodness for you, you changed. Kate should have dropped you. I should have. I should not have put up with it. And you should not have gone to homecoming with your ex. I should have put up with this. This is slander on my name while I'm sitting right here. You slandered your own name. I didn't slander nothing. While we're all here, let's have a little therapy session. I slandered those dolphins. That's all I slandered. Well, so. What did you just say? Let's not say that. I slandered the dolphins. What is that? We don't know. Okay. We don't know what it means. I don't want to know what that means. So why?

Why did you go to homecoming with this person? Your ex-boyfriend.

No. Ex talking stage. Okay, why'd you go to homecoming with your ex talking stage, not boyfriend, but the ex guy that you kind of talk with, so he's kind of your ex, but he's not your ex. And you, like, talked to him for, like, two years, then you came over all the time, and it was like, oh my goodness, like, this guy, and then you were like, I don't want this guy. How did he ask you? Yeah, then other things happened that we're not gonna talk about. He asked me, he said, for the 1,000th time, or he said, let's try this for the 1,000th time, will you go to homecoming with me? And she said, yeah.

flattering a thousand times a charm that's what i heard so flattering i'm so glad you got treated like a queen my friend brooke made that sign for him he didn't even make it that's so bad are you kidding you know it's kind of crazy people are always like give me a second chance harper's like i'll give you a thousand i'll give you like that is like that's not that's not princess treatment harper no i know and now i found a new guy

Wait, wait, wait. So did you guys end up actually going to homecoming together? Yes. Was it fun? No. Okay. It was not fun. We went to this after party. Was it just the worst night ever? Oh, yeah. It was just the worst night. Yeah, like, tell us, can you walk us through?

through your homecoming night? Because we haven't even talked about it. Wait, do y'all actually go to the dance hall? No. Okay, so we got to my house. All of us got to my house, and then we went to Me and Nono. I think that's the... Yeah, Me and Nono. Me and Nono. And it's in Lakeside. Is it a restaurant? Yeah, it's a restaurant. So we took photos around there. It's a good place to take photos. And then... Sorry. And then we went to Me and Nono, ate there, and then...

It was really awkward because, like, he, like, wanted to sit next to me. And I was like, I'm going to sit next to my friend. I'm just going to sit next to my friend. Wait, so you didn't even sit next to him? Nope. You didn't sit next to your own homecoming date? So why did you say yes if you weren't going to, like, be with him? Because my mom was there and it was just awkward. And I was like, I do not want to, like... Your mom probably didn't want you saying yes. I know. She was mad. I know. She was, like, out there raging. I didn't even tell her that he was asking me. And then she found the sign. So your mom was like... She found the sign in my room. No, and you were like...

Wait, so your mom didn't know until she found it after? Yeah, she didn't know. She had no idea. She found the sign in my room. She's like, what is this, Harper? Wait, after homecoming? Yeah. Oh! No, no, no, not after. It was the day before homecoming, and then he came over to my house, and I was like, hey, make sure to- Wait, if we cut that, we're back.

Welcome back to the show. Somebody said something. I need a bleep. All right, continue with your homecoming date. Well, yeah, we went to meet Nono. He was eating these meatballs. It was disgusting looking, and I wanted to throw up right there, but I didn't. I love it when you go on a little date, and he's just so classy with it. You just feel like throwing up. Yeah. Happens to me often. Yeah. I'm just sitting across like,

Watching Cash eat a steak with his hands. Oh my gosh, that's a finger food. No, but yeah...

- So it was pretty fun. And then we went to an after party and I didn't talk to him the whole time. I feel bad. - So you got asked to go to homecoming by this guy and then you didn't talk to him the whole night. - Yeah. - You know what, at first- - Okay, so you didn't actually go to homecoming with him then? - Yeah, at first, you know, I was like, "Harper, why would you do that? Like, you're so stupid." - I know. - But I needed a date. - But I've been not that guy in that situation. But I asked a girl to a dance

And she did the same thing you did and just ran off and broke his little heart. Never even danced with her. That's embarrassing. And then she regretted her decision. He paid for her ticket to go. He pays for them to go in. Oh, yeah, I heard about that. I've never heard this story. Huh? Oh, wow. You haven't heard this story? Oh, yeah. The other woman. Young man called her dad, asked her dad if I could take it. How old are you? I don't know, like...

13. Yeah. I asked her dad if I could go to take her to the school dance. And I was like, you know, nervous. Go pick her up. Take her to the dance. Pick her up with my dad. Yeah. And then she proceeds as soon as we get in the door.

She's gone. Never saw her again. It's like that. I feel like most like junior high dancers. Matt got his revenge that night though. I did. I got lots of revenge. I said, you know what? No one's going to do this to me. This is not going to happen. At 13 years old. I'll make her regret this. I thought he was younger than 13. Probably. I was like 9, 10, 11. Yeah. And I was like, all right, this will not happen to Maverick Baker.

This is not happening. You will not slander me. You will not slander my name. And so my sister was there. And I was like, all right, I'll dance with my sister real quick. Just for fun, whatever. So do a dance with my sister. Yeah. And then everybody sees Maverick Baker knows how to dance. No one else at the school dance knew how to dance. I can't dance. I know you can. Not a chance. Well, if I can do this and you can do that. Well, I don't dance. Yeah.

- Okay, now that that's over with. Wait, does anybody know the Beetlejuice lines? 'Cause I know them so well, like the- - Well, let me finish my story. I'm getting my revenge here. So I dance with my sister, everybody sees that I can dance and they're like, "Oh, wow." Then I start getting girls lined up asking me to dance. Lined up left and right, they wanna dance with me.

Wow. To the point they even start paying me to dance with them. They did. And I made a profit that night off that girl's ticket by not dancing with her. Are you so serious? I'm serious. They started paying him to dance. My mom and dad gave him like $5 to buy a candy bar or whatever at the dance. And he comes back with more money. And my parents are like, what happened? And then my dad had to have a talk with him. Like, son, you can't charge girls to dance with you. What?

Is your tactic with me you're like oh, I'll show her yeah I was like I just dance this girl quick to probably impress a little you know And no no no we dance and I was like oh no She was really good. I was like oh, I don't know if this is a good dancer about this now some might say better No

You guys don't dance at all? We don't dance. Does anybody dance at homecoming? I mean, yeah, we go to the real dance. Did you go to the real dance? No. Last year I did, though, and I got in the middle of a circle, and everybody was pushing me in the circle. Wait, so what is homecoming? What did you go to? An after party. They literally get dressed up, take pictures, go to dinner, and then an after party. They do that for prom here, too. In small towns, they don't do that. They actually go to the dance. Yeah, I thought it was a crazy thing when everyone...

Like, they all thought I was crazy when I was like, no, like, obviously no one actually goes to the dance. And they were like, in our small town. Not in the small town. Everybody goes to the dance and where we live, in the sticks. No, that's what they reacted like. Not in the sticks. I'm talking Tulsa. I mean, Tulsa's a big city. Tulsa's a big city. I just don't understand why you would get dressed up and everything to dance.

I'm with you. I don't know why anyone spends like a couple hundred dollars. What do you mean you guys don't understand it? Y'all do it. No, no, no. I actually, I did not. The one time I went to homecoming, I had a free dress, so I didn't spend any money. So it was like, I had a free dress and we just went to dinner. And it was like, we, you know, like in high school,

you don't have very many events you get to dress like honestly just ever yeah i feel like there's very few events you get to actually dress up like super nice for so it's like when homecoming comes even if you don't want to go to the dance it's still fun to like get a nice dress and go to a nice dinner and stuff yeah i mean who wouldn't i mean it's like this is the only chance you get to go with your ex again to homecoming so for the thousandth time for the thousandth time yeah don't worry you got more homecomings more proms yeah yeah and you guys can do it for the thousand and one time a thousand and two times

All right, would you ever say yes again? No. Liar. She would have said that a month ago too. No, I would never say yes again because he is rude. Rude. And that's a really old way of saying it. Well, I'm glad that you

that you've learned and you have matured and moved on. Well, he's not rude. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He's not rude. I just don't have feelings for you anymore. Well, let's... Yeah, I'm glad you moved on. That's what she always says. Harper always says that. She's like, I don't got feelings for this man. Uh-huh. Oh, I do. No, I don't. I do. No, I don't. I do. No, I don't. Harper, I just like... You say you don't want... Like, do you want a boyfriend? No. Or, yeah, I mean, I'm talking... Whoa! That's gonna be weird when Harper actually gets a boyfriend one day.

Oh my goodness Imagine she gets married She's gonna be coming to Kate asking for relationship advice Kate, you might- Kate, can't see you guys might be a bridesmaid Yeah, y'all probably will One day Really? Yeah Probably not Most definitely y'all will be I could be something I could be like something I could be something there, I'm sure I could be like You could be the hostess Hostess

I could- oh, you know what I could be? What? I've always wanted to be this in a wedding. Huh? Everybody knows. I say it a lot.

The ringman you guys don't know what I've asked my flower boy the DJ No, I want to be the DJ you guys know what I want to be a talk. I've asked multiple the bride No, what you guys like every position besides mine the pastor. Yes. Oh the priest priest the officiant You want to be a priest I want to I want to hold the power that was now married. Oh

That was... Or you could say, actually, I changed my mind. I don't want to marry you guys. You guys are married. Yeah, what if the officiant just did that at a wedding? Just, actually, I don't want to marry you. I declare you unmarried. That would be crazy. That would be like the biggest hate crime of the century. Yeah. Ruining a wedding day like that? When are we? I highly recommend you let me and Cash DJ your wedding. I'm not... Please. I highly recommend also... Well, the guy

My husband is very nice. And I think I'm going to get married to him. Oh, really? This is a step up because Harper's always said, I don't want to get married. That's crazy because like last week you went to homecoming with your ex. No, it was three weeks ago. If I need you at your wedding, all you know is I'm going to do some sick mix. It's going to be like, peace up. Hey, town. Queen bee. There's a new queen bee. There's a new queen bee. Yeah.

Yeah, I promise you they will be a better DJ. Yeah Yeah, so so can you please tell us about this new man? Yeah. Yeah, you were passed your it's out with the old and in with the new yes deal Why do we know so much like do you know do something

I'm not doing anything. I just need to like show you my trick my school trick So I'm gonna voice memo this it will like take five minutes. So just Half of it. Yes, and then I'm gonna do the other part. Oh you gotta do is All you gotta do is say my name well, I can't say it I

yes let's play it right uh-huh no no no yes okay no close but no yes wow i'm impressed and all you have to do is say my name three times three times in a row it must be spoken unbroken ready okay go yes yes oh oh it's gonna be so good

Are you ready three two one I don't know your name. Wait, wait, wait restart restart hold it up right into the microphone. Oh turn it up Right into the microphone

I don't know your name. How about a game of charades? Two words. Second word. Drink? Beverage? Wine? Juice? Okay, first word.

Wow

How did you remember that? That was insane. I mean, like, you know how, like, you can, like, remember the lyrics to a song? Yeah. That's, like, a song. But it's, like, two parts. Yeah. Yeah, so, you know. It's a little more impressive than that. It's, like, up there with, like, King of Dolphins type stuff. Did you like it? It was great, honestly. I especially liked when you actually sang for a second. I love hearing you sing. Me too. I actually heard her singing kind of look. Yeah, you sound really good when you sing. And for some reason, she, like. Tangs.

For some reason she like doesn't like to sing. She hates it. Can you like hit the Korn song again like you did in the old days? How about the Amazing Grace song when you sing that? Yo, that one's banging. I remember when I sang the Korn song and I was like, I was so embarrassed. And I was like, I was like trying to. That's the thing is it sounded good. That's the thing you sing. It's Korn. And then you sing. A bit.

And I was like, it has the juice. Can you, like, sing, please? No. And I was like, I like corn. Yeah. Yeah. And then everybody was like, oh, my gosh. She likes corn. Yeah.

- She likes corn guys, she likes corn. No, but I kind of miss when that song was trending. It was fun, I miss that time. - Life was good. - It was a good time. - I had like good friends. - Oh. - You had a good podcast. - What the? We're right here, Harper. That's like crazy. - You almost just called her Parker. - I did almost call you Parker. - That's how good of a friend you are. - Yeah, how friendly of you. - Yeah, well my bad. - Hey, real quick, we just did the Maddox episode. - Yeah?

Well, no, this is coming out like two months later. Yeah, but we need to know her thoughts on it still. But mom, is this yours? Yeah. She said no. Oops. Not hers. Do you just want us to keep it? Yeah, I'll take it. Yeah, you can keep it. Actually? Yeah. Oh my, I'm obsessed with it. I like it a lot, actually. I want to put it in your mouth, though. I'm not sure whose hands have been on that. Yeah. Just mine. Just mine. Why do you have it?

Anyways. I thought you were going to pull that thing off. I'm with Matt. I kind of want to like, even though the Maddox, we filmed an episode with Maddox Batson, Highly Requested, and it finally happened. And the episode came out a while ago, but we still have to ask Harper her thoughts. Because.

Because everybody knows that you acted very different on that episode than very normal episodes. In a way that, honestly, I'd never even seen you act, and it really shocked me. I think you were nervous. I was very confused about what was going on most of the time. I think, okay, I get it. Barbara made a bracelet out of her hair. It was kind of crazy. I get it.

I got the vibes that she either was like nervous or she like really for some reason does not want him to like her. Which of the two is it? I thought she was nervous. You can also just not comment if you'd like to not comment on the situation. You can be mysterious. Here, I'll be like your life. We refuse to comment to that question. Yeah. Okay. Next question. So, I mean...

I prefer not to say like that's just not like something I would wait what did Maddox say he was like perchance probably what did he say I don't know but I know when he was that we talked about you guys kissing he kind of acted like y'all did maybe I know yeah I was like what I was like that's kind of crazy I know I was like whoa but uh yeah well we'll never know well well that's like the commercial

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a titty pop? No one knows because you just start biting it before you get to the middle. The world may never know. That's the only way it says it. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a titty pop? The world may never know. Well, it was like a tongue-in-a-tongue thing. It's a whole commercial. When I was a kid, I took that to heart, too. Every time I'd get one of those lollipops, I'd try. One, two. I'd give up up to like 38. 38? 38. I'd be like, the world will never know. The world will never know. I gotta eat this

off quicker than this. And the world will never know what's going on inside her phone. That's so important right now. Dude, she literally, it's like the 530 drama has hit, you know? You guys know the best flavor? The brown one.

The brown one is good. The lollipops, you guys know what I'm talking about? Oh, I like the red one. The blue one's good. Not the red. Ooh. No, the brownie, man. That thing's good. Is that what flavor it is? I don't know. I think the brown lollipop is kind of insane. Wait, is it like root beer? Oh, it could be root beer. Maybe. Because that lollipop is so good. Yeah.

That's my favorite lollipop. That's a good lollipop. I like the bank lollipops. You guys know... Oh, here's a lollipop. Maverick tried to make a song and he wanted us to drop it. It was called Lollipop. No, it wasn't. Lollipop, shake it, make your body drop. Candy cane, make these girls go insane. Jelly belly, you got everybody ready. Double chocolate, swirl, hit it like confetti.

This was prior to Kinsey. I do not know Maverick in this era. I just want to call you mine. Girl, you like a candy shot? Stop. I don't want to hear anymore. She's getting the edge.

You're pleading my case. It was a catchy song. He remembers it from five years ago. Yeah, but it was so bad. But it was catchy. Girl, you like a candy shot? Ma'am, I don't want to hear it anymore. She's getting the ick live. No, my favorite line of the song was, Jelly Belly, you got everybody ready. Double chocolate swirl, hit it like a bunny. Yeah, just never say Jelly Belly to a girl. Jelly Belly?

- No, I've said before and I'll say again, Mav just has a bad case of, well, we made it so we have to put it out. The world needs to see it. - Mav has a case of this song is a hit. You may not like it, but it's a hit. And it was such a hit. You still remember it five years later. - You know what else I watched on the record?

We have a platinum record, actually. We do. We do. Or gold. What's it? Gold, platinum. I can't remember which one it is. It's one of those record things. Well, shout out to the Spider-Man movie or whatever that came out that same day. That's not what keeps it going, Kate. Spider-Man! That was five years ago. Well, guys, how about we do freestyle raps?

Okay. All right, fine. Oh, I'm the worst at this. Me too. We haven't done that in a long time. I feel like it's due. Do we need a royalty-free beat here? I can play it on my thing. No, no, no. Let's just do one line at a time. Go, Math. No royalty-free music? No, just go. It's not bad to eat, Blake. Okay, okay. Just a real case.

One line at a time we're gonna circle go math. No like an actual. Oh, okay. Okay. I mean we all work together to make like a really cool song Yeah, I think the first three lines are gonna be hard second three second two. Oh wait We say like two bars. Yeah, okay or one bar whatever you want cash is the king of the Dolphins any serious He's swimming through these bars. He's amphibious Oh

Why'd you have to pick words that are not rhymeable? What? They called me Aquaman. I'm curious. I'm in the deep blue. He's so mysterious. Heath Ledger kind of questions. Why so serious? Everything he's doing got me so delirious.

I don't want to do this. Now you guys want us to rhyme just the word serious, delirious, us, us, us, us, us. Furious? No, but like, that's like, eventually you gotta like transition, you know? Yeah, okay, fine. You start on one bar. Easy words like dog, cat, tree. Maybe cat. That's a good one to leave off on. Just say one sentence and then I go to another sentence. Alright, ready? Here we go. I got a cat.

Let me check. Oh, it's in my hat. I'm cooking. I'm cooking. It's a three-letter word. Bat. It's like anything. Bat, cat, hat, trap. Fat, trash, cat, mat. Can you start over? You already messed up my flow. I was cooking and now I'm no longer cooking. No, let Maverick start.

Okay. Okay. Don't go on forever though. I'm going first. I feel like it's- No, you have to do one sentence though. She cut you off? I'm going first. I feel like it's a trap. You got cut off again. Alright, alright. Go now. Go. I'm going first. I feel like it's a trap. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's just an act. Oh, that ball was hard. My name is Cash. And I really like to play the 100-yard dash. Not gonna lie, this song's real trash. Oh! We're fucking it going because we're going too fast.

When I talk too fast, I learn to not rap. Ooh, that was a curveball. Let me hit it with my bat. Flying up in the air and it hits a cat. Why are we back with the cat? Switch the word, Math. Okay, uh, we keeping it real, like we're all off the clock.

I'm not off the clock. I'm just on a rock. Look at me. I brought a glock. I don't think you should. So actually... Go stop. Keep it up, Kate. This is fun. You better stop or you're going to get pushed off the dock.

What did you say last say something with this drop Oh push up the pushed off the dock. Yeah, um, then I'm gonna pick up that rock and hit you like I'm a jock Okay, I didn't mean for this to get so deep how about we try to keep it light I

Maybe I can offer you some free advice. That was pretty girl for a little girl. Do you ride a trike?

I don't know, but you're triggering my fight or flight. Oh! Oh! Oh! Shock fight! K's so good, she got me in a fright. That's for sure. Let's go. We keeping it real. I can't ever stop. We gotta go fast. Oh, I can't do it. Matt, it's the same word. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? Stop. Okay, this is the last bar. It might be the end. Maybe...

Maybe it won't be the end of the trend. Oh, I see a dolphin. I'm riding its fin. Oh! That's a little bit of a lie. He was eating peanut butter out of a tin can. Out of tin? Out of a tin? Just leave it at tin. Just wrap it in tin, I guess. Out of a can? Tin can?

Okay, um... Guys, we gotta go fast. I'm not fast. I told you, these two people over here are slowing down. Hello, Tegan! Y'all are out, we'll do us. Okay, okay, y'all go, y'all go. Okay, okay. This song's so bad, I wish I had headphones. If only I had another... Freak, y'all do it. Okay, try to get my... Try again. Yeah. Restart. Okay, Harper, you're included. We're starting it all over. Here we go. Back to the start. Again, again.

She was like, you got it. You got it. Okay, I can do this. Use your overthinking. Just speak. Okay, go. Okay. Do the same word. We're about to start. Here we go. If we don't go, then we might row. Oh. Break my necklace. Watch it glow. Oh, that's mean. We're starting a new flow. If we go to the new flow, what about the clock?

Oh, she's switching it up. Don't stop. She's switching it up. Wants to talk about Glocks. Oh, look, I'm gonna go. We cannot stop. Oh, he said Glock. Oh, no, hide it, bro. There's a cop.

Well, if we go to the cop, then we might get the Glock, then we might go to the RAR, and then we go to the- RAR? The RAR? RAR! RAR! So then we have to go to the Glock, and then get the cop, and then go to the Glock. Moving on, we've been doing this for a while. Wait, y'all two just do it. Okay. Okay. Alright, let's go, Mav. Alright, here we go.

Alright. It's gotta make sense. Gotta make sense? Yeah. Give us a situation. We'll play it out. Yeah. Okay. Maddox and Harper sitting on this couch. Oh. Oh. Okay. No. I need like a situation. Like a... Somebody getting robbed in a store. Okay. Okay. There we go. No. You're the robber. No, no, no. I'm the clerk. No, no, no, no. I'm a bystander. Oh. I'm looking at it. What am I? You can be like a pack of gum on the counter. This is about to get violent. I'm sorry. Okay.

I'm walking in just looking for a Reese's. No, no, you can say a couple lines if you want. Okay. Or you can say one, two, maybe three if you want. Whatever you want. Stopping for gas. I just wanted to get a glass. Now I'm in the back and I hear something from the front. It sounded like a crash. Oh yeah, it's me. I'm breaking in the glass. I see all these people wondering who I should rob. I look in the

- That was horrible. So how was the Dr. Pepper?

It smacked. All along, they didn't know. We were both in on it. We had the same flow. I'm back in his car, and now we got one Dr. Pepper driving down the 405. Yeah, he's my best friend forever. Well, on that note, thank you guys so much for watching this episode. Hopefully that never happens again. Sun drops at midnight.