Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
What's up guys today we are talking about stuff with our parents we're gonna be Our parents are on the episode um
Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim anymore.
if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more.
They're gonna be, you know, just walking through this episode with us talking about how amazing of a child I was through all of our childhood years. Oh, yeah. You said it for sure. That laugh just says it all. Yeah, you were the demon child. You were crazy. Yeah. You were the reason your dad got a vasectomy. What? Yeah. Yes, that's correct. That's crazy. That is literally...
That is literally the only doctor's appointment he's ever made for himself in the 30 years we've been married. Your mother wanted more kids. I wanted more kids. I said, heck no. You made him cancel the family plan. Wait, did you actually make the appointment? I made it myself. Because I kept telling her to make the appointment. She wouldn't make it. And I said, okay, I've had enough of this kid crying. I'm not going to have a second one on that. No.
Unfortunately, he didn't stop. He just kept on being the child to test you guys. Our problem was Laney and Maverick were such good babies. And Cash came out, he was a little devil. I can see the thumbnail now. Baby devil. And his dad running after him. On like a big wheel.
With his little flamethrower and her with scissors in the background. Or her in the hospital just getting him born and he runs out of the, all the venison's running through the halls, getting the scissors and stabbing everyone. Whoa. This isn't Chucky. That's called Chucky. You know, somebody said they did it on the podcast. Harper was just rambling and somebody said, can somebody tell Chucky to shut up?
Someone said that in the comments or like here? In the comments. That's funny. Wow. Do you know who Chucky is? Yeah, the little redhead. The small and he's cute. What? Really cute, okay? Really cute redhead. There's nothing cute about that doll. That looks like me. That doll is not cute at all. It's terrifying. Doesn't it have like a big scar across his face? Yes, it shows how he's mentally stable because he can have a scar on his face. Mentally stable? How is Maverick so much easier to raise than me?
He was very contented. He was just content to just play by himself. You just screamed until you learned to crawl, really. You should see him now. I try to play by myself. I try to leave. I'm like, hey, I'm going to go out and do something. He's like, where are you going? No, no, no, you can't leave me. And I think that was the issue then. Whatever you were doing, he wanted to do, and he couldn't do it. He was too little. He was just mad because Maverick's walking around, and he can't even crawl. Yeah.
He was ticked off. He's still ticked off. Yeah, he does get mad whenever Mav's got plans. Like, Mav, going on a date? Cash don't like that. He was like, well, can I come? He literally said that. He said, should Kate and I book a table that night too? It's a double date. He wants a double date. No, he wants us. At the same table. No, Maverick was like, no, this is a date. And Cash goes, oh, that's fine. We'll just book our own table at the restaurant with you guys.
You don't want to double date with him. That's not a good idea. No, not this kind of date. This is a serious date. This is where he's going to ask all the hard questions to see if he should actually pursue her. Ooh. Yeah. He's not wasting no time. Let me know how that goes. It's the first date, he said. Yeah. I got to figure out the details before I can pursue. Yeah, so either there won't be a second date or we're getting married next month. So it's one or the other. Cash and I predict that if this goes well, Maverick will be married by like November to January. Yeah.
They like her. I do like her. You've met her. Oh, yeah, we hung out. She was great. Oh, we'll see. Real sweet girl. If Kate likes her, she's probably pretty good. Yeah. I will say, I really think y'all hurt Cash's feelings. This is the quietest I've ever heard on a podcast ever. He doesn't know how to news. He's over there thinking. It's really hard to hurt Cash's feelings. He's demon shy. He's just sad because he's afraid Maverick's going to get a girlfriend. Yeah, he's really going through the four stages of grief right now. He might get married.
Oh my gosh, you should have heard it the other day. The other night, wasn't it? Yes, the other night. Mav's talking about it. Okay, this episode is supposed to be exposing me and Mav, okay? Okay, here's a little exposure for Mav. Oh, go ahead, Kate. Sorry. Oh, yeah. Let me finish and then I want to... But he was like, oh, yeah, like, I really like this girl. You know, we're going to go out on a date. If it goes well and, like, I really think that she's wife material, like, I'll pursue it pretty quickly. And Cash was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Threw himself on the ground. He was like, this cannot
And I was like, what do you mean? Like I have to get married someday He's like you're gonna get a wife and then you're you guys gonna live here, right? Like if she doesn't want to live here, you're not gonna marry her and he was like well if I wanted to be my wife and she doesn't want to live here like we'll get another place he was having a meltdown He literally was laying and rolling on the ground If she doesn't want to live here
You'll find another one. You're going to let her go. He says it's not an option for her not to live here. That's not the number one marriage material requirement. But listen, listen, listen. Which I'm all for a communal household. I think that's the way we should live. Yes. But I think families should stay together. Y'all should tell him what he said. The parents should not split up. You remember what he said? Best case is? Best case. If Mav wants to move out, he's like, we have to move out. We have to get our separate place. My wife...
It wasn't best case. It was only other case. Yeah, pretty much. The only solution to that that I would be fine with is we build houses right next to each other. Preferably join houses like a duplex, but they could have a little separation in between them. But they need to be houses right next to each other. Maybe a conjoining garage or something like that so we're still connected. So y'all can share all the house bills? Here's the thing. Do you want your husband to be gone all the time?
No, and I agree. Because he will be. No, no, no. I agree that one property with two houses is great. I love that idea. Yeah, I think just one big house. Here's the thing. I was trying to justify the other day. Me and Kath were looking at a nice house. And we were like, we can't. We can't get this house. It's too nice. It's too big. Is it in Texas? It was too big. We were like, it's too big. But then I started thinking, wait a second. We're going to have 15 people living there. Grandkids. There's two of us.
And if I did the math correctly, my father and his brother, their house combined is less square footage than this house. So if we combine our house, shouldn't we be allowed to get a mansion? Because it's combined.
Like 10,000 square feet sounds crazy. You need a hallway in the middle, I feel like. 10,000 square feet sounds crazy, but if you think about two 5,000 square foot houses. No, you're all for this, but the second he finds out I'm pregnant, he's out. No, it's a 10,000 square foot house. I don't even have to hear about you being pregnant. I don't even know. Like 2,000? This one's like 36. 36,000? No, 31. 3,500.
So basically Harper is the size of your house
No. Yeah, so pretty much we want a house the size of Harper's. That's kind of the goal. My house is exactly the same size as y'all's. They want the same doors as you? The same doors. Yeah, the same doors. Harper's got nice doors. He was like, I like this door. And I was like, don't we have the exact same doors? He's like, no, the front door. I like the wood. And I was like, no wonder my dad got so mad when I slammed the door once. I slammed it so hard. Doors are expensive, man. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Here's the thing. Cash is going to eventually get upset because when he is pregnant, I will start looking. As soon as I find out you're pregnant, I'm looking for my own place. I'm never getting myself pregnant. I'm never going to be pregnant. That's admirable of you. I would never get pregnant. That's good. No kids. Now, her on the other hand. What? She might get pregnant. What are you trying to say?
I'm just saying, me personally, as an individual, I'm not getting pregnant. You're not going to contribute anything to society? Well, I don't want to be pregnant. What are you saying right now? Why would I want to be pregnant? Okay, I have a question. If it's not you, who's going to get her pregnant? No, no, no. She can be pregnant. I just don't want to be the one being pregnant.
I mean, carrying the baby? Yeah, I don't want to do that. Yeah, see, that was a given. Like, that was never going to happen. We thought you were talking about like a sister-husband type situation. You can let that go. Like, don't worry about it. Okay, okay. Don't stress about that one. Yeah, but I mean, I'll have a baby, but I just don't want to carry the baby. Yeah, very honorable. All right, Mom. Dad. Mav has always been worried about who he was going to marry. Me? I'm not worried about who I'm going to marry. I've been worried about you. Do you remember when I... This kid begged me and begged me to homeschool him. Remember that?
Where's his goat? You begged me to homeschool you. You didn't want to stay in public school another year. So I finally... How old am I? How old were you? This is how long ago he's been thinking about a wife. 11? 10? No.
Third grade? It was fourth grade. I was in fourth grade. You were going into fourth grade. This is how long you've been worried about a wife. Begs me and begs me to let him homeschool. I finally give in. I'm like, okay, yeah, we'll homeschool you this year because I had wanted him to go another year. And then I go to tuck him in bed that night, and the kid is crying. He's so upset. And I'm like, what is wrong? Do you think homeschooling will interfere with me getting married?
There's no way that's true. There's no way that's true. I don't know what kind of dream you had. I thought every person met their spouse at high school or something. That was crazy. There's just no way that's true. I would remember. I hope Skully might have interfered with it because he's still looking. Yeah, I clearly have no fears. Clearly I had good concerns as a third grader. All right.
Cause here we are, mom! Sorry, I should have left you in school, I guess. You didn't listen to me! Is that one of the first questions you asked? Were you homeschooled on a date? Are you gonna ask her that? Are you gonna ask her that? I have seven questions to ask her. What do those questions? Oh, you don't want to hear the questions. They're boring.
I mean like they're not they're not this kind of podcast questions they're just like I'd like to hear the seven questions after yeah I want to hear them after yeah is there any stories you want to know about me and Matt that I want to know um ask me anything yeah um let me think let me think let me think let me think what seven questions would you ask on a date yeah you keep thinking okay yeah uh do you bake cookies
Do. The answer is yes, though. I think that was pre-vetted. Will you live in a house with me and my brother? Also pre-vetted a little bit. I already mentioned that, and it was like a, I see the idea. What? That's it? She was about it, if it made sense. Gosh, believe it or not, that's an interesting thought to most American women that are looking for a husband. Maybe marry someone from, like,
You know what I want to know? I want to know when y'all were filming that TikTok, or not TikTok, I go to Old House in California or LA, whatever, wherever it was. When he did, when Cash did the backflip, did he actually break his neck on the air track or was that just for Cloud? Did you finish the video? No. Well, then you wouldn't know. You wouldn't know. So then just tell me. Oh, and they weren't there for that. They were living on their own then. Really? How old were y'all? Too young. 16? Yeah. Cash was 17 when we left. Yeah. I want to move.
Stay home. My chiropractor was stressing today. He was like, yeah, my son, he's 16. He wants to, his girlfriend's family invited him out for the weekend. I'm really nervous to let him go. I was going to tell him what I was asking to do at 16, but I decided not to.
I was going to say, well, just be thankful he's just asking to go spend the weekend with his girlfriend and not asking to fly across the country. Or move across the country. Or get married. Or get married. Or get married. Yeah. 16K'd us to get married to me. You guys were always pushing our limits as parents. Yeah. And now we're pushing my limits. And now we're pushing things you were too young to be doing. What? Too much independence too young. I waited. Never mind. Maverick didn't as much as Cash.
Maverick was just two years older, so it did make it easier. He was already almost 18 when a lot of stuff started happening. I just had a lot more ideas. Okay? We know Harvard, yeah. Is there anything you want to know, like, when we were, like, child, like, younger? Like, under 15. Oh, did Cash ever eat his poop? What the? He's very specific. Probably. More.
More than likely. I do know this. He was a filthy child, too. He would touch things. When I would take him to the bathroom when he was little, he would go in there and start touching everything. And I'm like, don't touch it. And Maverick would get grossed out. He would just sit there kind of gagging. I was like a four or five-year-old germaphobe. Yeah, I was like always telling them to wash their hands, you know, wash their hands of germs and stuff.
You freaked me out as a five-year-old. I was scared and scarred. You thought they were living in your hands. So I was on the toilet, and I had them standing out. It was in a public restroom. I had them standing outside. And I hear somebody come in, and they go to the bathroom, and then they start to walk out the door. And Maverick's standing out there, and he's five. He goes, sir, sir, you didn't wash your hands. Bro trying to escape. He's trying to get out the bathroom door. I started laughing on that. I was trying to hold it in.
Oh my God, that's so funny. And the guy got all mad. He's like, I was going to. I was going to. I was just getting the door. I was like. He goes, thank you, sir. That's what he said. That was a woman that did it with you. Danny, you did it with me. Oh, you did? And it was a woman. She got mad. It was a half a man. Did you watch your hands, police? Yeah. I was in a stall at the mall and you and Lainey were a little side. You're right outside the stall door while I went to the restroom. And this lady comes out and she's going to walk on out. And you didn't talk to her. You said, hey, Lainey.
- Hey lady, that lady didn't wash her hands. - Call her out right there. - She goes, "Yes young man, I'm washing my hands. I'm just putting my purse down."
Yeah, sure she was. That one's even worse. Not, hey, you forgot to wash your hands. That person didn't wash their hands. Obviously she needed some public embarrassment because she was going to continue that life. You shamed her? Yeah, she needed shame. Your bathroom shamed her? He bathroom shamed people all the time. You know what's weird? Y'all are saying like kids in the bathroom. I never see a kid in the bathroom. I know. Like in the men's? Yeah, me neither. Well, I know why Cash didn't use the bathroom at school. Wait, why did I not use the bathroom?
Oh no. What's going on? Okay. Wait. Oh no. Oh no. The kid did not wipe his butt till he... You needed help a lot. Oh no. I'm the late bloomer on the wiping butt thing, okay? So when he did at school and at home, he still needed help all the time. I'm like, what do you do when you go to the bathroom at school? He goes, I don't poop at school.
I didn't poop at school because I couldn't wipe my butt, okay? So I had to wait until I could get home so my mom could wipe my butt. I feel like that's a cow. That's crazy. Mom, come wipe me. Wait, so how old was he when he... That was preschool or kindergarten. He probably did that until five. That's crazy. Mom, come wipe me. I'll tell you this. I was old enough that I remember having to call my mom to somebody. That's terrifying. I do remember that. I remember having to open up the door of the house and be like, Mom! Mom!
I need you to wipe me. You would say that? As long as you can get away with it, I mean, why do it? I'm going to try it now. I'm going to be like, K! K! You know, if you needed it, would you wipe my butt if I needed it? Yeah, exactly. You hire someone. Butt wiper. Oh, they both were pretty good liars at school, though.
Oh, yeah. Have you talked about that? No. No, I have not. Pre-K? Pre-K with Maverick. Listen, listen. Pre-K, you've got to test the limits with the teachers, all right? He had a pet turtle, and he convinced his teacher that it came out of its shell. And they had to take it to the vet and get it sewed back into its shell. What?
So I go pick him up from school that day, and Ms. Rector goes, oh, I was so sorry to hear about the turtle. I'm so glad they were able to save it. And I'm like, it was a tragedy. Come on, Mom, let's go. So he had to go back in and apologize. For lying about his fake turtle? She bought it. Like, if I'm going to sit, like, I was bored, all right? Like, sitting there walking down the hallway with the teacher, I'm like...
Did you hear about the tragedy? And the Maverick were cashed. Y'all may have talked about this one, though, I think. Where you saw somebody throw up on TV. Oh, yeah, we talked about that one. So you would make, and I had to go make you apologize to your teacher because you were getting out of class when you were in first grade faking throwing up in the trash can. Yeah. He had two breakfasts. No, he would stick his fingers down his throat.
throw up, right? Yeah. Did they ever get suspended or expelled or anything? No. They were good kids. They loved their teachers and they were teacher pets. I mean, they were pretty quickly homeschooled, I feel like. Yeah, do you get detention in second grade? I don't think so. Yeah, you can. You can. They were, but you guys were good. They never got in trouble. They tried to give it to me. Maverick was such a teacher's pet that I had to move him in classes one year because he was terrified of his teacher and he had to be
Where he was going to get patted on the back. Well, I'm just like, I'm a top of the class kind of person. She wasn't treating me like that. She was treating me like a second class second grader. That was not okay. Wait, you had to move classes? Because your teacher didn't like you? Second grade, I think. She was literally getting sick in the mornings going to school. She was mean. She was a mean teacher. None of the kids liked it. You ever seen those prison camps? That's what we all looked like. We're all walking in there like...
He had to move his color from green to yellow or something. That was just too much. Please don't hurt us, Miss Teacher. Aw, poor guy. And yeah, it was like the kind of teacher where it's like, no laughing allowed in class. No, nothing. And you know what? Someone laughed. All right, more homework. Harper. Yeah. What kind of trouble did you get in as little first and second graders? First and second grade, I mean, go to the principal sometimes, but I was good. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Nobody just goes to the principal. Did you say what I said?
What did that, what happened? What got you there? I, um, what's it called? I used to have a pencil on the bus and I would poke holes in the back of the seat.
Oh, vandalism? Yeah, I would poke holes in the back of the seat because I was so bored. I understand that. That's the kind of thing I would do. Yeah, so I started poking holes in the back of the seat. And then finally they found out and they were like, whoever's poking holes in the back of the seat, stop. So then the next day I kept poking holes in the seat. And it got to a point where it was so big that basically the whole thing was gone, like ripped apart. And then they were like, okay, that's it. So they found out. They looked on the cameras. They found it was me. I went to the principal's office and...
yeah i couldn't ride the bus for a week so my mom had to take me and she hated it she hated it so much i did similar things i remember like yeah i don't know this oh i was a kid i you left me in the car too long again got bored like can't help it you're not supposed to say we left you in the car oh you left me in the car too long mom that's what you did good or bad it's the truth all right and so i'm sitting there riding shotgun
You can only kick the dash so long with your feet before you get bored of kicking the dash. So I take the pin, and I start stabbing the dash. Oh, I remember that. There were pinholes in our dash. No, I never got in trouble for it. What? I don't know if we knew who did it.
Yes, we knew he did it. We knew one of the kids did it. Yeah, it never got brought up to me. I was just tapping that thing. Matt still does that to this day. My car, the console. That's not me. He rips the fabric off. Bro, I admitted the door handle could possibly have been me. Yeah, he also fizzed with the door handle until he ripped the door handle off. I didn't fizz with the door handle until I ripped it off. His door handle was falling apart, and it was sharp, and it cut me. I said, door handle, so I ripped the part that cut me off.
And then the center console, I never touched that. I promise. No, he did. I wouldn't promise. I wouldn't promise unless I was telling the truth. And I did not touch the center console. But I did. I went to town on your door handle after it freaked me out. Hold on. Hold on one more. What? Sorry.
Sorry, guys. Your dad silently insulted me, and nobody heard it. I didn't. Don't insult Kate. Don't insult Kate. Wait, wait, wait. What did you say? No. No! Mav said she was the kind of teacher that didn't let you laugh in class. Your dad goes, how? That's kind of like living with Kate. Yeah!
Kate gets mad at things all the time. Yeah. All the time. No, I'm kidding. Kate doesn't mind. Mom hit dad. She won't let you do anything. Kate would be a good mom, I'm telling you. Kate's going to be a great mom. Can't burn the yard. Kate will be a good mom once she's born. Yeah, like she gets mad at things like this. Yeah. She gets very angry when I bring things like this out.
That's so hot. Turn it off fast. Look at her. Look at her. She's mad. She's eating her eyes. The gas is going to get out. It's stressing me out. Kate, one time I came home and there was a black spot on our wall. A black spot? And I was like, what happened here? It was just us. We didn't have kids. And he said, well, I had this lighter and I just wanted to see what would happen if I burned the wall. So he did it honestly. I'm sorry.
man dad it must be an inheritance right sorry
Hey, I didn't burn my wall. I painted the wall so I could burn it if I wanted. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. But the thing is, you broke a brick on the house. How does that happen? And then I fixed it. The brick was loose. And I was like, that's loose. We should probably... Gorilla glued it back and it broke again. We should probably fix... This isn't going to be good. I was sitting out on the porch one morning reading my Bible. And I look up and the brick that you so...
Perfectly fixed. I didn't say perfectly. I personally super glued that thing. That should have stayed. It took all three of us. We put a lot of work into making that thing stay. Yeah. Well. And you know what? No one can see it. And nobody cares. Nobody cares about the brick, Kate. You fiddled with the brick until it fell off. Have you ever seen the brick?
Have you noticed? I'm just a firm believer that we pay money for our things and we should treat the things that we spend money on good. We bought a nice house. We should treat our house nicely. But...
We bought this house to create content in. And so when things break for content, the brick wasn't content, but a lot of things are. You just broke the brick. I just broke the brick. Y'all care more about content. I care more about my home. Yeah, we don't because the home doesn't make us money.
Well, we already make enough money with the content not breaking our house, so why do we... Y'all are like, well, if we break our house, we're not going to make money. We make plenty of money without doing things that harm our house. Right, but if I can make money and have fun, I'm going to do that. I'm sorry, Kate. It's his fault. No, it's... I mean, it is your fault. He bought a motorcycle at three. I mean, they've just been...
I wouldn't say we've been like hazardous, but yeah. Right. Just right. Just hang out for a year. Yeah. They're chaotic, aren't they? And it's a stressful environment. It's not stressful with me here. Didn't they, didn't y'all have like things you juggled that were on fire? What were those called? Yeah. Yeah. We've had like, um,
stuff y'all don't even realize. Like, you guys are trying to do a triple backflip off the railing and you swear you're gonna land it and I'm stressing because y'all are trying to kill yourself and y'all don't know it. No. Okay, but let's think about it. Let's think about it here. Listen, we never would try to kill ourselves. It would only happen accidentally. Yeah, but when y'all do things that are stressing me out, like, y'all are, like, gonna hurt. When y'all's gonna get hurt, I get stressed out. Okay, but let's think about it. Let's think about it. Out of all the stuff, the stress I've put my mom through, the stress I've put Kate through...
What have we done? What's happened? What has the stress done for anyone? What's been the outcome of all the stuff we did? Everything's fine. Well, you were almost lost at sea. You've had a broken leg. I mean, a few things. Almost, almost, almost. Answer me this. Did the stress fix any of it?
No. Did the stress bring him back from sea? No. Nope. Broke your leg. Stress didn't fix his broken bones. Listen, I didn't say I shouldn't stress, and I'm trying not to stress, but I live in a stressful environment, so naturally I will stress a little bit, but I'm working on it. You'll get there. It was hard for me, Kate. Did you stop stressing when they moved out? No, because sometimes I would lay awake at night, and I'd have to call them just to make sure they weren't fighting because I couldn't go to sleep because I was worried they were fighting.
What? Are you serious? You don't remember that? I would call and just make sure. That we weren't fighting? Yes, because I would be worried to death that y'all were out there killing each other or something. Y'all don't fight a whole lot. It's the activities y'all come together to do. That's what I was saying. I did have to, as a mom, watching them grow up, learn to back off. It was hard.
I think somebody told me once to raise courageous men, though, you have to let them be courageous little boys. But they're not little boys. That always stuck with me. And it was hard, though. But they're not little boys now. We didn't want to raise a bunch of sissies. Well, they're not sissies now. They can stop doing that stuff. They're fine. Now, now. But what if I listen to it? What if I start to become a sissy? That's why we don't listen to you. Oh, my God.
Maverick's kind of a sissy when he dances naked. Maybe naked. I fully stand by it. You can say whatever you want. This man takes bubble baths and sits on the floor in the shower. He loves his bath. I sit in the shower too. He doesn't take bubble baths by himself anymore, so that's not as weird. That's good. He said, yeah. With the pink bubbles and eat chocolate sauce.
Okay, would you rather me not stress you out and you walk in and your full-grown man husband is taking a bubble bath by himself? Is that what you'd rather? But you'd probably worry I'd drown. Oh, you never know. He might have even borrowed one of your books that you've been reading. Even one of your candles. With his legs crossed. Harper, are you a daredevil?
Yeah. Are you? Yep. Yeah. I can believe that about you. No, seriously, tell her to do something. No, I'm not responsible for that. Hey, no, I'll do anything you ask me. They once told me to lick the floor in Target and I did. And then, like,
And then like, I mean. We did that. We told her to. Yeah, it was us. Stop telling her to do this. No, no, it's to build the immune system. It's to build the immune system. Yeah, and then I'm trying to think, what did we do in the dare? Oh, they made me shock myself about 10 different times with a fly swatter. Fly swatter.
I thought you were going to say that little shocker you had earlier. They keep trying to get her to tase herself. That was the thing at our house growing up. All their guy friends, they got to tase themselves. She keeps tasing me, but I can't tase her because she's a minor. So I'm trying to get her to tase herself. Cash got so close to me with the taser, I was about to just like, and I'm trying to act all nonchalant about it and be like, oh, that's cool. But then when he gets close to me with the taser, I get a little nervous. That's how I feel. No, you cry. You don't get nervous. You cry.
It's nervous tears. Maybe Harper would help you out. He was always begging us to spray him with mace in his eyes. Who? Cash, he wants to get maced. I kind of do want to get pepper sprayed. I'm sure Harper would help you out with that. I would. I want to. I like to torture other people, not myself. We sprayed some bear spray out in the yard.
Oh, that thing went far. I mean, and it floats just through the air. Like, you could stand 50 feet away. Well, it was windy that day, but yeah. I would not want it. Apparently, like, mace smells really bad. Smells bad.
Really? Like, yeah. Huh. I wouldn't have guessed that. Like one of your friends, I was sitting at the table and I had like my pepper spray on my key chain and she was like, oh, it's open. And she closed it. She was like, I'm traumatized. I think it was Kinsey. She was like, I'm traumatized because someone in my high school and my classroom sprayed it and we had to clear out every class in the hallway had to be cleared out because it was so bad. Okay. What was the craziest, not craziest, how do I word this? What was the...
most disappointing thing Maverick ever did? Don't answer that. How about... I would really have to think. I don't know. I plead the fifth. Okay, well, we're just one of them. I think everyone should plead the fifth right now. All right, fine. We'll move on to the next question. What was the best thing I ever did? What? The best? How? Like, oh.
Oh, I know the best thing y'all ever did. Yeah. You bought us our Challenger. Yes. Oh, yeah. That meant the world to us. Yeah. That's an easy one. So we had to buy their love. That's what they're saying. The best thing we ever did was buy them something. That's the best physical thing. It's just when you see your kids that were as young, all three of y'all were still very young at that age, and seeing that unselfish side of you.
That made us proud. Seeing that you finally had the money and you were unselfish and did something for someone else. Well, Cash had wrecked the minivan. Yeah, he did wreck the minivan the month before. He totaled the minivan. But that's not a reason. But he has kept his car since he was 16, the little Toyota. Yeah, I haven't wrecked that one. The Chevy. I did. Oh, yeah. I've wrecked that car. Yeah, I'm like so... Everyone kept saying, we literally...
- We're at the car dealership and the guy's like, when we were getting another car, he was like, "So what are you driving now?" And Cash was like, "Oh, we're in a 2012 Chevy Cruze." And he was like, "What are you still doing with that thing?" - He goes, "You want it traded in?" I was like, "No, I don't want it traded in." - Yeah, he kept trying to get us to trade it in. I was like, "Come on, Cash, trade it in." - Do y'all still have it? - Yeah, that's good. - We should wreck it in a video. - What? - We should. Like, I'm not joking. We should actually wreck it in a video. - Kate might be on board with that idea.
Nobody likes my car. I'll let you. Really? Will you let me drive it? Yeah, I'll give you the keys. No, no, no. Okay, so what's the most disappointing thing I've ever did? No, not disappointing. I think that's the best. Even if I could think of something, I would not air my kids' disappointments. I would not do that. What are you trying to manipulate there? No. What's one of the...
I disappoint. He's only one of the times he made me this. The most sick at my stomach was when I saw the picture of
him doing the handstand up on our beacon that made you that sick it was a big tall metal bridge and he climbed up to the top and did a handstand wasn't tied on or nothing I felt like oh my god my son could have died I mean it made me die in my stomach over water oh no no but it was like 200 feet in the air the top of it it wasn't that to the
To the water. Maybe 80 or something. He would have died. No, to the water. Well, he would have fell. He would have hit the bridge. You would have hit bars and stuff on the way down. That's really scary just thinking about it. No, if he would have fell. Well, if he would have fell to the left, he definitely would have died. That's pavement. If he would have fell to the right, the water was only about two feet deep. I could see the concrete right there. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, so either way he fell, he was definitely gonna- it would have been death. I don't know why at the moment like we thought it was cool. He's climbing up on the bridge. Cash didn't even care I was doing it. Yeah, he was doing a handstand and I was like "Mav, do it again!" Wait, how wide was it? Probably about that wide. You have the picture? Yeah. Let me see. Oh my gosh. Oh, it's on your Instagram? Yeah, still up. That's really scary. Yeah, you're dying if you fall from either side. That picture made me sick. Yeah. That's terrifying. And the other side of the bridge?
I might pop this one up because it's dark. Oh, life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moment that you take them away. There you go. I'm so inspirational. It's so poetic. Here, let me see it. Well, Joe wants to see it. Now, Dad's got a good story for when Matt Rick got what he deserved. Got what I deserved? What do you mean I got what I deserved? The motorcycle being all arrogant. Oh, yeah. Wait, pause. You're calling me a sissy, but you're wearing slippers right now, Dad. Ha ha ha.
Okay, continue. Kate won't let me wear my shoes. Let me see that again. Captain of the no fun club for wanting to give her a nice house night. Okay, tell them about the motorcycle. Motorcycle? Which motorcycle? Are you talking about the one where he cried and kicked his butt? I never cried. When he came home from school from Botech, he was bragging about
I was doing pretty good. You were the best at doing wheelies? I'm the best wheelie rider in the world. I'm the best in the world, Dad. I'm just so good. Who do you think is better at doing wheelies? Oh, me. Probably Mav, I would say. But I haven't seen Cash do wheelies in a long time. Cash, you just did a wheelie the other day with me on the back, and I said, you terrified me. You didn't even cover your rear brake. You go, is that what I'm supposed to do? Yeah, but you fell way more than me. He would probably be more comfortable with me doing a wheelie with him on the back than me.
Absolutely not. So when was Maverick humbled? Oh, he was humbled because he goes to the house and he's talking about how he can do willies. It's hard to be humble when you're me, first off. He comes back downstairs and he's got his helmet and his hand and his GoPro. And I started to say, son, don't go out and do willies. But then I thought, no, I'm going to let him go. I know what he's going to do. So he walks out the door and about 20 minutes later he calls me and says, come get me.
I said, what do you mean, son? What do you mean? He goes, come get me. I said, well, where are you at? You know where I'm at. So I got in the truck and I drove up to get him.
and he didn't want to talk. We loaded the motorcycle. He wouldn't even get up front with me. He got in the back of the truck and sat and pouted all the way back. Not the back seat, the truck bed. Yeah, he was doing a wheelie and it wiped out. I think I had to hold my bike. I think that's why I was in the back. I was in the back because I think I had to hold my bike. We didn't have straps. Oh, yeah, you weren't throwing a fit. He was mad. And that was the story when he was tearing the bike, right? Oh, no, that was a different story when he was tearing the bike. I said, son, I thought you was the best at doing wheelies. And he goes, grrr, grrr, grrr.
I am pretty good. And then you started kicking the bike when he got mad once. No. You want to see me crash? Actually, that crash probably isn't the best, Harper. Let's see. What crash? You have a crash on camera? You have that one? Yeah, I have a crash on camera. That one. I have that one. Yeah, that's the one. You have that specific one? Yeah. No way. Yeah. Oh, yeah, because you had the GoPro.
He had the GoPro. Yeah. That's crazy. Where is it? Well, you guys hear the way he talks about himself? He said, it's hard to be humble when you're me. Well, I try. I'm the best. I'm the best at everything. But sometimes when I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror...
I mean, to be honest, it just gets harder to be humble every day. This is the kid who we have a Labor Day parade every year. That was a burn. And he was probably eight or nine. He wanted to have a float in the parade. I said, well, what would you do on your float? What do you want to float for? He goes, I just want to float all about me. Everyone cares to see Maverick. It's going to be fun just saying how great I am on my accomplishments at eight years old. You see me take my helmet off and throw it. That's pretty bad. Wait, let me see.
I can't believe he actually has this wreck on camera. Yeah. It's on my Instagram. I totally forgot about the video. He walked right away. Right after he pulled down you. You didn't throw it. I thought I threw my helmet. I just set it down, picked my bike up. But I was more mad after because my gear shift went into my tank crase and I was leaking oil everywhere. Oh!
Leaking oil everywhere. Yeah, so I couldn't drive home. That's why he had to come get me. Once you cooled off and you weren't throwing your fit anymore, you posted the picture on Instagram. Do you guys want to see what happened when I fell off my scooter? Let's see it. Oh, man. You've gassed yourself up so hard this whole episode, Mav. What do you mean? I didn't gas anything up. Yes, you did. When you were talking about how great you were in class, you were the best student, and you deserved to be treated like one.
I just, you know, I was like an upper class student. You know what I mean? Listen, all I'm saying is that
You can't think I'm insane for thinking you're annoying when you talk so highly of yourself all the time. You're annoying? What the? I will rag on Cash just a little bit here. Y'all talked about Maverick, how he tried to ground me from my car. Yeah. Yeah. One time. Well, one time Cash got mad at us and he threatened to call, turn us into Child Protective Services. Because we were taking away his cell phone. We were grounding him from his phone. Guys, this is what happened to me.
Hey, I thought about it too. I think I tried. Yeah. You whipped me with a whip. Oh, and that never, ever happened. Yeah. He hit me with a whip. Oh, I was there. That did not happen. You weren't there. That might have been trouble. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't like a bull. It was like a buggy whip. But he whipped me. And I went and thought, oh, I was mad. I went in and I looked up. Is it legal to whip your child? Is it illegal? Turns out it is.
Okay? So, all you know, you could be in prison right now if I don't want to put you there. Okay? Is it illegal to whip your child? Well, I didn't say that. Is it illegal to take away your child's phone? Is it? It's not. It's ridiculous. I wonder if they literally get kids calling for stuff like that. Probably. Oh, that's actually crazy because I...
I remember really thinking about calling a number, like Child Protective Services. He was so mad. He was so mad that day. You told me. You said, I'm going to call Child Protective Services on you. And I said, oh, OK. Go ahead and do that. Go ahead. And see how that works out. I actually love for you to do that. We want to be the one you call and see the reaction. You guys are going to believe this stuff. Are you ready for this? My parents.
Take away my cell phone. We'll jump right on that as we got kids being beat. Man, I'll tell you what. Cash was the kind of kid that would try to call Child Protective Services for anything he didn't want to do. I swear. I swear. I'm in the woods. I'm in the woods. There's a weapon. All I want to do is go back to bed. Please get me out.
I can't eat my snacks because they make too much noise. I keep trying to sleep and he's waking me up. Are you guys ready? I just fell. I just fell. Hold on to your mic. And I hurt so bad. And I'm just not feeling too well. That's from your scooter accident? Yeah, she's really tore up. Sounds like it really hurt so bad you got out and filmed it.
It's funny because that happens to me at basketball and we keep it going. The tears. I'm not feeling too well. I'm not sure if I'm going to make it, to be honest. It was like a year ago. Here, text that to Joe. That's funny. No, Cash never liked to go hunting. Me and Dad and Cash would go on hunting trips and we had great times.
I know what y'all are saying. The first trip was not a great... No. I had a great first trip. I had fun. Y'all were home the next morning. You were supposed to be out all weekend. Yeah. How old were they? Like four and six, five and seven, maybe. What did you expect from a five and six-year-old?
Well, yeah, I made the mistake of buying them. Every time I did this, though, I'd buy him a bunch of candy when we went. Yeah. Cash called the treasure chest. And we camp. So I let him eat all the candy they wanted. And the next morning. No, talk about bedtime first. Oh, bedtime. Yeah. OK. Yeah. We go to go to bed. I set up the tent and I got them in all tucked into their little cots and
And I said, okay, I'm going to go brush my teeth. I'll be right back. No, wait a minute. I'm going to back up. Maverick had already peed on the tent. He had already peed on the tent. I told him to go pee. He said he had to pee. I said, go pee outside. Do we know that that was me? I thought he was a cash kind of thing to do. Or no, that was cash. Yeah, it was a cash kind of thing. It was a cash kind of thing. I was like, don't pee on the tent. Anyways, I went to brush my teeth and I come back. He's probably like, it's dark down. It's probably got there. And I went to get in the car.
They're both still in bed, mind you, by now. Well, they were both tucked in, and I went out and brushed my teeth, and I come back, and they're tucked in again. Again, like nothing happened. I start getting stripped down to get into my sleeping bag in my cot, and Maverick's in there. They start dancing naked. Maverick goes, Dad?
Is your cot broke? And I go, no, son, my cot's not broke. Why would my cot be broke? And I'm looking at it. I'm going, why is my cot broke? Why is my cot broke? And he goes, well, me and Cash got it.
Just while he was brushing his teeth. While I was brushing my teeth, me and Cash got up and we jumped on your cot. Jumped up and down on your cot and broke your cot. We thought you might want to sleep on the ground. So I was irritated and I had to throw the cot out and I had to sleep on the ground. Like us. Trying to put yourselves above us. That was not right. No, we had our own cots. You were still on the cot. We didn't take you guys off the cot. You guys had a cot. We had our own cots. Yes.
But we wanted to jump on his car. Oh, I would have took my kid's car so fast. You ripped my car. Yeah, I wasn't going to do that to my little four-year-old and six-year-old. Oh, I would have. I'd have been like, you're sleeping on the floor. You're done. The fact that you were all tucked in, like you didn't do anything but then said, is it okay? Yeah, they were all tucked in. No, no. Your car broke? It looks like it might be broken. Is your car broke?
So the next morning we get up to go hunt and it's really cold. So I took a sleeping bag with us and we get up in the deer stand and I stuck them in a sleeping bag. They're in the same world. We're in the same bag. We're not laying down though. We're sitting up in the deer stand. They're just sitting there. Well, they've ate all this candy. We're like Harper size or smaller. Besides the puke. And they're both in the same sleeping bag. He's terrified.
Wait, who puked? Maverick's face was hilarious. Pick it in the bag with both of them. So I'm trying to shove his head over the side, but Maverick's sitting there going...
I'm pretty sure I did. You couldn't go anywhere. You couldn't go anywhere. You were stuck in the bag with him. That's funny. Yeah. Just stuck there. So anyways, after he puked down the side of the deer stand, I said... No deers coming. I said, you guys want to go back to camp? They go, yeah. We're going to jump on your car. We came off and went back to camp. We still got two more cars to jump on.
And I packed up and went home because I didn't have a cot to sleep on anymore. It's like a little mat that has legs that fold out so you're up off the ground while you sleep. It's like little army cots. Yeah. And it's kind of like a trampoline. There's springs attached to it. That's why it was good for jumping up and down on. Of course we're going to jump on it. Yeah, they're talking trampoline. Yeah.
They were fun boys to raise. Good times, good memories. Loved every minute of it. That's so funny. So if you were going to have another kid, would you choose me or Mav?
If you had to pick one of us to get rid of. We love all three of our kids. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
You don't honestly think it's gonna be you, do you? I would say Mav. Lainey. I would want to pick things about all three of you and have those things in this one kid. Come on! But if you had to pick just one kid? Nope. I would say Lainey. Dan, what about you, huh? I plead the fifth. I like that. See, he recognizes that one of us is better than the other.
But he's just not saying it. He has an answer. I think every parent has a favorite. No, we don't. And I'm going to tell my kids. Yeah, I have a favorite. No, you're not. I'm not going to tell them who it is. I'll tell them I have one. They can debate amongst themselves who it is. I have a favorite. Here's what you can do. Here's what you can do to be my favorite child. I'm going to announce my favorite. I could have a favorite. Johnny's my favorite right now, but it can always change. It's always changing. It's always changing. All right?
So if you want to be my favorite kid, you got to work for it. Yeah. I'm definitely telling my kids who the favorite is. And they can debate that amongst themselves. That will hurt your kids. You are shaping a child's whole life. No, I will tell them I love you all equally.
Okay, you're right. I won't tell it to my girls, but I'll tell it to my boys to make them compete. Yeah, competition's good for boys. No, they have enough naturally on their own. They don't need anybody fueling competition. I can tell you my favorite baby was not Cash. See, I wouldn't even say that. Cash was still... He was my last baby. I knew he'd be my last baby. That was very special. Maverick was my first boy, and he was my first. They were all so special in different ways. Firstborn, you know.
I can tell you, I think my mom loves us equally. My mom loves me. Yes, your mom does. I have a feeling that she likes my sister a little bit better. I don't even have to know your mom very well to know that's not true. What do you mean that's not true? So you're saying she likes Harper better? No, I'm saying we love our kids the same. But dad's on the other hand. Hey dad, who do you like better, me or Reese? Don't say, and I mean we clean. Laughter
I'll tell you what, you're talking about competition is good. Literally, we were just at the gym the other day. This guy walks up and he just goes, y'all are brothers.
Well, you look alike. We finished the set, and I'm like, I did 46. You only did 44. He's like, no, I did 45. You only did 44. We're arguing over the numbers. You guys are brothers, aren't you? Here's what I hated most about your fighting. Y'all would get me so worked up and so sick at my stomach. Physically sick at my stomach for hours afterwards. And you guys would come downstairs in 10 minutes and be leaving together to go get pizza.
and it would just make me so mad. That would just make me so mad. It usually bothers Kate, but the other day, I don't even remember what the conversation was. I was glad y'all didn't keep grudges. I really was, but I was still mad. For about two hours. So on the way to the restaurant, we were arguing about it. At the restaurant, we argued about it, and on the way home, we argued about it. And then when we got home, we argued for about another hour and a half about it. He's saying, are you? You get sick of hearing. Well, no. What did we argue? It was the church conversation. Oh, yeah. But this wasn't... Their arguments...
They yelled. This was like a conversation. If y'all would have started yelling, I would have left. It was only a conversation because I chose to keep it peaceful. No, but if y'all would have started yelling, I would have left. I can't do the yelling. There was plenty of that. Kate, for four hours, pretty much, just sat there and listened to the whole thing. Harper, do you listen to your fight? Oh, yes. I didn't have two girls, so I don't know. It gets physical, I'm telling you. Does it get physical? Yeah, it gets physical. Don't do that! What do you mean by physical? Like,
When we were little, it was really bad. I used to bite her until she bled. You would be a biter. Harper is definitely a biter. Harper is a biter for sure. Yeah, she bites. She definitely bites. Fighting when you were little is actually bad. At this age, you'll need to be learned to
get along and enjoy oh yeah me and my sister so are like this now i love her so much no i right now me and my sister are kind of getting close but also at the same time we're we get into a lot of fights because like because i don't know i don't know she's just annoying yeah they're all whole far oh she's your sister she's supposed to be a little annoying no she's just be like them and get over it in like five minutes more famous sister that is nothing to do with anything
I got her famous. She's got just as many fans. I say the same thing about Maverick all the time. Listen, he wouldn't be here without me, and that's the truth. What's Reese going to be here without me? He was a failure for like three years until I came out and helped him. I know. See, does Reese get you with this stuff? No. No, I hit her with that stuff. I was the one who made her get 14 million views on a video. Yeah. I gave Mav all his followers. I know. And now she's saying, no, it's because of my prettiness. Yeah, exactly. Look at him. He's going to say something else. She said it's because of her prettiness? Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know your sister. Oh, my gosh. Maybe a thousand of them. Pretty girl privilege on TikTok is so real. The pretty girls on TikTok? Pretty girl privilege on TikTok is crazy. Oh, yeah. You have it. That's so sweet. Yeah, but you do have it. Do you tell your sister that? No. You need to be encouraging your sister. Supporting your sister. Yeah, you got to encourage. That's what sisters are for, both ways. I tell Cash all the time, he's...
I say lots of good things about you. My sisters are my best friends now. I mean, I love my sisters. I tell Mav all the time. I gave him so much stuff to work on. I'm like, Mav, listen, I'm stronger, but you can always, and I gave him workouts to do. I'm always trying to make him better. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually funny. You know what? No, I'm going to, I'm going to choose to play the fifth. No, go ahead. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I feel like you should. Well, probably the reason you two have been so successful is you've challenged each other all through life. I wouldn't say we're successful yet. Like, the entire time you grew up, y'all were just always pushing each other. If one of you had learned to do something, the other one had to learn to do it. I mean, it just... Yeah. Yeah, you hear that, James? They're not successful. I know. And I'm like, guys, we're working so much. Let's take a break. We don't have to add any more. And they're like, no. No.
Well, what were you going to say? I was going to wrap it up. Oh, yeah. Thank you guys so much for watching this episode. Also, guys, if you want to see our other podcasts where we do actually yell at each other, it's called LOL Bros. We just came out with it. Link is in the description. We'll see you guys next time. Peace out, bro. Shout out.