Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
So we're doing 15 minutes alone, just talking by ourselves on the podcast. So first is moi.
Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim anymore.
if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon, spend less, smile more. I don't know what I'm supposed to do here, but I'm guessing I just have to, you know, like talk about my life. So number one, I wanted to tell y'all that I've had a wrapper in my sock this whole day. Look, it's a Starbucks wrapper. It's a straw wrapper. So I'm just going to put this in Maverick's seat so he sits on it and he smells the stink.
You know what guys? I'm gonna lay down. Ow, God, ow. Okay, I'm gonna lay down because I've never been able to do this. I've never been able to do this yet, never. Never. Oh wait, actually I'm gonna sing a song. Okay, so tell me if this is good. Actually I'm thinking of what song I should sing. Mom, what song should I sing? So basically, I'm gonna sing different impressions of different singers.
on a Bruno Mars song on I'm trying to think trying to think your girl is trying to think oh he got a new setup how cool is this anyways um I'm sick right now but um guys I can do whatever I want why am I wasting this time why what am I doing okay fine I'll do it all right so let me think uh first Ariana Grande wait hold on all right don't make fun of me first of all
I know behind the screens y'all are like, oh God, look at her, look at her. What is she doing? What is she doing? Look at her. But I'm going to try as hard as I can. Not as hard. So first I'm going to do, I'm going to do Kim Kardashian. Although it hurts. So close your eyes, close your eyes. Cause I know you're peeking. And so just imagine Kim Kardashian singing. All right, ready?
Although it hurts, I'll be the first to say that I was wrong. All right, now Ariana Grande. Although it hurts, I'll be the first to say that. Okay, frick, frick, frick, frick, frick, frickity frack. Redo. Okay, let me start on a lower thing. All right. Although it hurts. What am I doing? What am I doing? I don't know. What's going on? All right.
redo. All right. I need to start on lower pitch. A lower pitch. Although... I know I'm probably much too late. So that's Ariana Grande. Now let's do Billie Eyelash. All right. Okay. Nope. Nope. We're not doing her. She's too hard. She sings really good, but she has this voice that I can't do. So I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. Let's do...
Let's do Celine Dion, bro. Okay. Or no, Britney Spears, Britney Spears. Although it hurts, I'll be the first to say that I was wrong. Okay. Now, last one, because I'm not going to be doing this the whole time. I'm not going to make y'all bored because I'm a good host. Am I right or am I right? Okay. What's... Let me look at the musicians. Let me look at the musicians. Okay.
I'm so sorry, guys. Oh, I'll do Celine Dion. That's actually none of y'all know who she is. I mean, some moms do, but like not me, not me. I know who she is personally because your girl is kind of cool. Anyways. All right. I need to poop. Sorry, guys. Don't you get? All right. No, I'm not actually doing. Don't you get? I guess I'll do Celine Dion.
♪ Although it hurts, I'll be the first to say that I was wrong ♪ Yeah, that's enough for sitting in Kasia's seat because I'm just not, okay, okay. Now, what should I do in Kate's seat? Actually, I don't wanna sit in Kate's seat. It's a little too bouncy. Looks like I'm back to my normal seat. But I wanna just talk about how I am where I am today. Okay?
You can say that I... I... Okay, so in the future, 10 years from today, I want to be a famous singer and I want to be able to do, you know...
Like, I don't know. I just want to be a famous singer or just a singer. I don't have to be famous except for I do want to be famous. But like, I don't know. I really like singing. I love it so much, especially Ariana Grande. That's why I love doing her impressions. Like, like I could do her impressions pretty dang well. But like you, if if Cash and them were up here, they would run away because I just burped.
But I really like to do Ariana Grande impressions. And also, she's like, I love her so much. But yeah, in 10 years from today, I really want to be a famous singer and just possibly pursue my singing career. Yeah, that was good. That was a good yeah. Yeah, that wasn't a good yeah. What's it called? I've already been alone on the pod before. So it's like not different, any different for me.
A lot of people ask, am I actually close with Cash, Mav, and Kate? So let's start with Mav. Yes, we're obviously close because I see him two days a week, if not more. And, um...
yeah, we're just, like, besties, so, yeah, um, yeah, and also, so, Cash, me and him, he, like, got me started in all this, so, of course, we're close, and Kate, Kate is my best friend ever, I love her so much, I love all of them so much, but Kate, she, she hits that spark in my chest, and I, I just love seeing her, I love seeing all of them, like, I
I don't know. They make me so happy. And anytime...
I come over here. They think that I don't like them because I don't go to dinner with them, but I actually love them so much, guys. Y'all have no idea. Like, no idea. Because, like, I don't think they have an idea on how much I love them because, like, they're, like, family now, and I love coming over here because, I don't know, it's just so much fun, and I love hanging out with them because they're, like, a second family. And, yeah. So, yeah, that's, like... Oh, and Joe, of course. Me and Joe are very close, too. I love Joe so much.
So yeah, um, I don't really know what to talk about. Oh, i'm going to orlando So we probably won't post this before then but oh, yeah We film two podcasts each time I come here because I can't just come every day. Oh
Why I stopped doing such weird TikToks? Well, high school, this thing called high school came around and let's just say it ruined me. Yeah. Yeah. It ruined me. I don't do crazy TikToks like that anymore because like it's so weird just being in a room with a bunch of cameras and nobody in here. Like usually I have my buddy Matt here, Cash and Kate and
I miss them already. Why aren't they coming back? Please come back. God, why, why, why? Okay, I'm going to stop there. You know what? BRB. Yo, what's up, guys? So it's my turn to be on set, and I don't really know what I'm going to talk about. Probably going to talk about girls, to be honest, because...
I don't know. We're just going through. Y'all like it when I talk about my love life, which is kind of non-existent at the moment. I mean, it's not completely non-existent, but the other night I got a text. So I got a text from this girl and I was like, it was a girl I know. I know her pretty well.
I've gone on a couple trips with her, like, with a group of friends. Not, like, her alone, but, like, as a group, we've gone on a couple trips together. She's came down here and hung out with Kate a couple times. Like, I know her, like, pretty well.
And so it wasn't like out of the ordinary for her to text me, but she does have a boyfriend. She's had a boyfriend for like six months. So like, she's the kind of girl that's like very respectful. So I'm like, if she has a boyfriend, it's kind of odd. She's texting me a little bit. I thought, I thought it was just a little bit, but it's not like, like wrong. I just thought it was like maybe a little odd. So she texts me and she's asking me like how to get tickets to this event. I'm like, Oh, well, yeah, I can, I can help you get tickets.
So I help her get tickets. And then she said, what'd she say? She said, but what'd she say? She said, uh, thank you so much. How are you doing by the way? How's Dallas life updates? I said, y'all tell me if I'm the one wrong in this conversation. Y'all tell me. I said, Dallas is fine. Haha. Nothing new here. Just surviving, surviving. Why? Why just surviving? I don't know why I said that. I'm thriving to be honest. Um, how are things with you?
so good honey that's what she said she said so good honey now me i'm from the south i took girls say honey all the time and that's probably not even just a southern thing that's probably like a normal thing but at least where i'm from girls say honey and baby all the time the amount of girls that are like 20 something years old that call me baby here sugar here baby here honey
They say stuff like that all the time. It's not out of the ordinary. I'm like, so she says, so good, honey. I'm like, cool. I said, some people probably not going to like that one though, because she texted me like four days later after I said, how are things with you? She says, so good, honey. She asked me four days later at 1am. She says, so good, honey. And I had just posted an Instagram post, um,
And I was like, maybe she like saw my Instagram post. And I was like, yeah, some people probably not going to like that post, but thank you. And she said, I did not mean to say, honey, I typed. How are you? Why are you texting me? How are you at 1am? Which is fine. Like I said, this girl's a friend. So I don't really care. Like we're friends. Like I know she didn't, I know she's not trying to flirt with me. I know that.
We've been friends for like probably two, maybe three years, right? Close to three years. So I know she's not trying to flirt with me. She's just like being nice. Right. But still 1am texting me. How are you? And she says it auto corrected to honey. And I was like, Oh, don't sweat it. I thought you were talking about my IG posts anyways. I literally posted it two seconds before you text, uh, two seconds before you texted me. She said, I'm not saying honey. That was my bad. I said, okay. Okay.
Um, well, I'm good, I guess. Uh, how are you? And then she didn't reply. And I was like, I'm, I'll be honest. I'm really confused by this conversation now. She said, it was just autocorrect. And I said, gotcha. Well, honey, I'm just, I'm doing just fine, honey. I'm doing fine. And I say that with a laughing face and then this little like goofball face. Cause I'm like, it's funny. Like I'm mocking you now. Like you called me honey. Now I'm calling you honey. Like it's a joke. It's a joke at this point. It's a joke.
She did not think it was a joke. She said, no, legit. I have a boyfriend. I did not mean to type that. My bad. I say, whoa, whoa, shots fired. You know, what do you mean? I know you have a boyfriend. I done known this, dog. I'm not. I've known you before you had a boyfriend. I knew you when you were single. Did I ever flirt with you then? No, we weren't. We ain't been flirting. That ain't our type of relationship. We just friends. She said, no, legit. I have a boyfriend. I did not mean to type that.
I just felt so attacked. Also, nobody asked if you have a boyfriend. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Kind of. But yeah, nobody asked if you had a boyfriend. Why are you telling me you have a boyfriend? No, I'm kidding. I said, I didn't take it that way. Don't sweat it. I thought you were just saying girly stuff like slay or something. She said, okay, good. Thank you. But the conversation kind of ended there. And I was just like, bro, bro.
These girls that have boyfriends, they feel like they're walking. If you feel like you're walking on glass at eggshells, then you got to tell me you have a boyfriend immediately. All I'm saying, maybe you shouldn't be asking me how I'm doing. That's all I'm saying. Maybe this one is on you a little bit. If you feel like you got to say that.
Um, I stopped doing crazy TikToks. I still do some crazy TikToks, but like I've just not done a lot because like I feel like at school people will bully me even more than I do get bullied because I just am a sad little girl. No, I'm kidding. I'm not a sad little girl. I just, a lot of people think it's weird, but like if I got my followers in the first place from doing that, then girl, why not just keep doing it? Why not just keep doing this? Yeah.
Anyways, I also feel like, what's it called? God, why am I out of breath? Why am I out of breath? God, why? Am I dying or something? I don't know. But do you all ever think, like, so weird, you might have one second left? Like, I'm sure one of you all on the podcast right now will die in a few seconds. Watch out. Beware. I'm kidding, guys. I'm kidding. You never...
Gotcha. Cash and Kate ain't been doing well. That's for sure. They ain't been doing well. Bad things been going on in this household, let me tell you. It's been, uh... It's been causing some strife, you know? Things been rough around here. Yeah. The... I know they're probably listening to this right now on a live stream somewhere. So, that's fine. Uh... I hope they... But I...
I don't know if I should get into it. Should I get into it? Guys, should I get into it? Why Cash and Kate are upset with each other? I think I should. I think I should. Kate told me not to say anything stupid. Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! No! No, Joe! Joe, why'd you do that? Why'd you do that? Guys, I just saw a solar eclipse! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! That was terrifying! I know y'all love hearing their stories. So, Cash and Kate, they, uh, I don't know how else to say this, but Kate sucks at cooking.
She doesn't even cook anymore. We just eat at Chili's every night. And Cash hasn't told her, but I don't think he's told her. But we're going to have to find a replacement chef. We're going to have to hire a chef because we can't. We need some good food around here, dog. We need some good food.
This isn't working. Boys are gross. I don't like them. So it's whatever. Like all my friends are like, oh yeah, my boyfriend, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, okay, I don't care about your boyfriend. You should care about yourself before you spend all your time on a boy because it's not worth it.
Also, I'm going to talk about the times where it was so funny on the podcast where I jumped off the couch and I literally broke the plan. That's how much the floor shook and this painting fell. I don't know. It's so funny, guys. I literally, and you know what's so weird? Some kids after school activities are playing soccer, doing cheer, playing football, etc. I go to a podcast that's top 10 in the whole entire world.
What the heck? What the heck, guys? Like, it hasn't sparked me yet. But like, once it does, it's just so weird. Like, I'm just a normal high school girl, which I think that's why a lot of people follow me and like me, I guess, is because, like, I don't know, I'm a normal teen girl that goes to high school, public high school, does cheerleading at high school, and...
Just as like everyone else and is their self, which is not like a lot of other people. I am there myself. Some people fake, fake being their selves. And I know a lot of young people watch this podcast, but like when, once you get older and stuff, um,
You need to, in high school especially, or middle school, like, it's just, it starts to get really hard because you find your friends, but sometimes you want to do what your friends do and act like your friends, all that. But, like, at this point, you only live once. That's what I say to myself every single day. Like, YOLO, you only live once. Like,
What is there to life if you're just boring and you act like somebody else, you act like somebody you're not? Like, it's, like, odd. And when I see people doing that, because I know some people that do that. I'm not going to name them, but, yeah, I know some people that do that, and it's just weird. But just be yourself because you only have one life, and it's very short. Life is very short, so...
take chances, make mistakes, and wahoo, Miss Frizzled said that when I was watching Magic School Bus, but also, some of y'all are like, Harper, who's your best friend? I don't have a best friend, I, like, I have friends, but, like, I don't really have many friends, because, like, I don't know, um, I've always had, like, not trouble making friends, but, like, I've always been, like,
People used to think that I was weird for my TikToks and all that. And I feel like I'm... I have really good friends, great friends. If y'all are watching this, I love y'all so much. My two closest friends are Kayla and Brooke, and I hang out with them all the time. And Emmy and all of them. I love all of them. Sophie, all of them. I love them so much. And yes, everybody gets into drama, but I love all of them. So I'm just saying, be yourself, girl. Don't be somebody else you're not. Because if you are...
We're gonna have issues. Sorry, not sorry. Hi guys, I was very unprepared for this episode, so last minute I decided that I was just gonna give you guys a one-woman performance, starting now. Oh my gosh, Barry, I can't believe we've been together for almost a year! I know, sweetheart. It's crazy, time flies when you're having fun. What do you think we should do for our one year? How about, how about I take you to Nordstrom Rack?
And we can get you a good little gift. Oh, Barry, you really know how to woo a girl. Cut to the next day at Nordstrom Rack. Hi, welcome to Nordstrom Rack. How can I help you? See this pretty lady right here? Yeah, me and her celebrating one whole year. Oh, Barry, you don't need a flex like that to everybody we meet. Shh, baby girl, I sure do, I sure do. Look at you, a dime. Oh, Barry, what can I help y'all with today?
Well, I don't actually know what I'm looking for. But maybe you could help us? Yeah, follow me. Barry watches her walk away. Barry, what's that look going on about? Nothing. I was just looking at you, sweetheart. Okay. Okay. Over here is our sale rack. We'll find everything you could ever need at Nordstrom. Well, thank you, dar. Yeah, thanks. Barry, I've been loving my gift you bought for me at Nordstrom Rack.
I knew you would sweetheart, I knew you would. Now, what the main character doesn't know is that after they left Nordstrom Rack, Barry went back to Nordstrom Rack to get the employee's contact information because he thought she was a pretty girl. They've been texting ever since. Who's texting you, Barry? Oh, nobody. It's really, it's nobody, nobody. Oh, well, if that's the case. Hello? Hello?
Hey, Barry, it's Shelby from Nordstrom Rack. I know you remember me. You came back yesterday to get my information because you thought I was pretty. Hey, no, it's not really a good time, to be honest. So I'm going to let you go. Who was that, Barry? Who was that? It was just the Nordstrom Rack employee. Why in the world is the Nordstrom Rack employee calling
It's not like that. It's just not like that. I figured that she could get us a discount. You know, when we had our two-year anniversary, she'll get us a discount there. Yo, what's up, guys? I just want to take a second to tell you about our sponsor, Factor. They have easy and tasty meals that can be delivered straight to your home, made by chefs, and approved by dieticians. They have over 35 different meal choices available to you.
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factormeals.com/lolpodcast50. Go right now, check it out guys. That's code lolpodcast50 at checkout for 50% off guys. See y'all later. - Oh, Barry, you're so sweet always thinking of me like that. Yeah, babe, I got you. I know what you like, okay? Don't try and look at my phone though. Barry, I fully trust you. I would not try to look at your phone. Cut to the next scene.
They're in a McDonald's parking lot. It's a McDonald's and a 7-Eleven gas station combined, so they're pumping gas and eating McDonald's. Except Barry is sitting in the front seat of his car with the Nordstrom Rack employee when the main character comes in to McDonald's and sees her boyfriend's car at the gas pump. "Oh, yes, I'll just take a McChicken. That's it, just a McChicken. Thank you so much. Okay, I'm gonna go now. Go out to my car."
You know, Shelby, I don't mind sneaking around with you like this. This is the best of both worlds. I get you and I get my homegirl from day one. It works out. Yeah, so honestly, that's what I wanted to talk to you about is this can't keep happening if you're still with her. So let's figure something out, okay? Okay. Oh!
Gosh! Barry! Duck, duck, get down, duck. Hey. Hey, sweetheart. I was just thinking about you. What in the world was the Nordstrom Rack employee doing in the front seat of your car? You see, I was actually talking about, I was talking about you to her. That's what was going on here, okay? Okay. Now listen, listen. You remember how he was saying, you need a job?
No, Barry, I have a job. I've had a job for the last two years. You're the one who needs a job. You've been bombing off me ever since. You know times are hard right now. You know that. Five years old, they kicked me out. What the freak do you want me to do about that, huh? I've applied, but they all say that they're too busy in my prison record. They can't hire me because of the prison record, and you know that. Well, maybe you shouldn't have started being. You just wanted to kiss a girl. You were just going to meet her to kiss a girl. If I could insert myself in this...
Not now! Okay, not now! Barry, listen. You gotta get a job, okay? And it is not gonna be at Nordstrom Rack with that girl! I don't know how we're gonna move past this. I know how we can move past it. How's that? I'll take you to your favorite store, Nordstrom Rack. What? What did you just- Nordstrom Rack, you left that place. I did leave that place until I found out you were making gas station runs with her!
The Nordstrom Rack employee? That's not very loving of you. Well, what do you expect from me? I was trying to help you. I was trying to get you a sale. I was trying to get your favorite stuff on sale. You weren't me except for putting your mouth on her mouth. That's all you were trying to do. You weren't thinking of me, Barry. You don't know that. I actually can confirm that he was trying to put his mouth on mine, but I stopped him because I knew he had a girlfriend. I'm so hurt. I would just like to give my sincerest apology.
Okay, I did not mean for any of this to happen. Oh, shut your yapper. You're just running your mouth just to hear your voice. No, no, seriously. I actually, I, now that I am the other woman, I was in a situation where I wasn't the other woman. I was the main woman and I found out about the other woman and I was very hurt. So I know exactly how you're feeling right now. You do? Yes, I know exactly how you feel.
To walk out of a McDonald's/7-Eleven and see your boyfriend in the front seat of his car with a Nordstrom Rack employee, that hurts! Yeah, it does hurt a lot. I just... I just don't understand how you got to be in this situation. Let me tell you a little story time, okay? I'm all ears right now. If I don't listen, I'm gonna be yelling at somebody, so I'll listen to you! Way back when, when, way back when, when, I got a job.
at an ice cream shop and then I got fired from the ice cream shop, okay? And my, at the time, boyfriend was not very supportive of me, okay? And that is when I walked out of a McDonald's and saw him in the front seat of his car with a Nordstrom Rack employee, okay? I was in the same situation that you are right now. You have to understand. Go on. Well, when I found out that this girl worked at Nordstrom Rack, I decided that I was going to go apply at the same Nordstrom Rack and work with her.
Why would you do that? I would never, ever, ever want to work with you after what you've, what was going on here. Let me finish, okay? I knew that if I got a job at this Nordstrom Rack, I could get my revenge. I knew it was going to play out like that, okay? So what did you do? I'm on the edge of my seat. What did you do once you got the job at the Nordstrom Rack with the same girl that your boyfriend cheated on you with? What'd you do after that? Just for research purposes, like no, no specific reason. It's not like I'm going to be doing the same thing.
Totally understandable. I know that I would never think, I would not even think you would do something like this, but the reason I got the job at Nordstrom was to make this girl's life miserable for as long as I could, okay? She would clean up an aisle, I would knock all the clothes back over, and then I'd run away so she didn't know who did it, and she'd have to pick up the clothes again. She would clock into work, I'd take her little card, and I'd clock her back out so she wouldn't get paid for the day. I just wanted to make her life miserable, okay?
That's what I wanted to do. I was making messes everywhere. I was eating her food in the break room. Half the time I didn't eat it, I just took it out of the fridge and threw it away so she didn't have lunch that day. That's exactly why I got the job at Nordstrom Records to just do things like that. Oh, this is all very insightful knowledge, you know. It's good to know. Barry, what do you think about all this, huh? What do you think about her being cheated on and now being the other woman?
I'm gonna be honest, I think it's kind of a sleazy thing for you to do, you know? That's not very cool, you know? Yeah. Well, hold up, mister. Let's not forget that you were the one in this relationship cheating. Like, let's not jump ahead of ourselves. Well, yes, yes. I know, I know. And I just, I can't, I truly can't imagine how this other guy felt. Her current boyfriend, you know? I don't know how he could have felt. Or her ex-boyfriend, I mean.
I don't know how he could have felt when he got caught in that predicament. It's a really unfortunate predicament to get caught in. Are you out of your mind, Barry? I just knocked something over. Well, if you want, I can give him... If you want, I can give you his phone number and you can reach out to him and see how he's been handling all of this. Yeah, why don't you... Why don't you give me that phone number?
And I'll reach out to him and see how he's handling, you know, that situation just because no specific reason. But, you know, I am finding myself in a very similar predicament right now and I just don't know exactly where to go from here. So having another man's insight on this would be very, would be very helpful, you know? Okay. Well, I'm going to leave this McDonald's slash 7-Eleven parking lot now. And I don't know where I'm going to go, but I'm going to go somewhere far, probably to the Target across the street because that's all I can think about right now. But would you like to come with me and we can just talk about more things?
that you did to the other woman? Oh my gosh, of course. I would love to just help you heal from this process. Like, I know it's so draining to just find out something like this, you know? Like, I only wish that there was somebody that could have helped me when I was in that situation, you know? Yeah, that'd be really nice. The two girls leave and go to Target, and then Barry gets on the phone with that other dude. Brr, brr.
Hey. Yeah, man, this is Barry. Yep, yep, the one you've been texting. Listen, I just wanted to have a conversation about a predicament I found myself in a while ago. I just heard that you were in the same predicament. I just need to know your insight, you know. How did you handle your girl catching you in the car with another girl? Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. So you didn't end up with either of them? Really? Yeah.
You just broke up with them both? Oh, and now you're homeless. Man, well, I don't want that to be me. I don't want to be homeless just because I cheated on my girlfriend. Yeah. Well, my sincerest condolences go out to you. You know, I hope you can get off the streets soon. And this is a life lesson for me, you know? I will never get caught cheating on my girlfriend again. Yeah. All right, bye-bye now. End scene.
That was a lot you guys that was a lot and I really just hope I got I got the storyline across Here's my here's my problem guys. I as a guy This is this is me getting way too deep now. I for some reason always feel like there's no girl That's ever good enough to be with me. Like there's no girl that's good enough to be with me Like I I hold myself to a high standard. I'm like, there's no girl good enough And then when I meet a girl that is good enough
That I'm like, this girl's amazing. She's too good for me. I like, I can't, I'll ruin this girl's life. Like, I can't, I can't date this girl. Like, she's way too good for me. Like, I can't, I'm not good enough for her. And so then it's like, it's like, I constantly have this, like, I don't know what you call it. Like a battle with myself. Maybe I'm trying to, maybe I'm, maybe I'm, am I finding a reason to be single? Am I finding a reason to?
To not like these women? Is that it? Am I like, she's not good enough? She's too good. She's not... Is that what I'm doing? Am I having a therapy session right now? I don't know. Maybe... Maybe I should... I think I should talk to someone about this. This isn't good. Can we do a couple... Like two minutes together? Together? Yeah. Okay, what do you want to talk about? I want to talk about the Texas revolution that's happening. No, Matt. Okay, can we talk about Mars? No. Leave. Space? No. Okay.
No one cares about the Texas Revolution. They care about space. I care about space. Do you care about solar eclipses? Wow. That's funny. That's funny. It's still there. It's the longest solar eclipse. I'm not looking. Longest solar eclipse I've ever seen. I'm not looking. No, I usually don't look at the solar eclipse. It's usually kind of blinding. All right, get out of here. It's my time to shine. I want to do a podcast with just me and you. It's my time to shine.
I don't know if you're going to shine much. Those lights are in different places. I feel like we should turn them off for you. What the? Yeah. I'm actually just going to turn the cameras off. What? Yeah, we're done. All right, get out of here. You guys want to know something crazy? So in case you guys haven't figured out, in case you guys have not figured out, we are shooting this episode separately. What the heck, bro? This new microphone stand is not microphoning.
There we go. We're shooting this episode separately. So everyone is shooting their clips on their own instead of all of us talking together. I have no clue how this is going to turn out. So hopefully it turns out great. So if you guys are confused by what was happening, that is what's going on today. And I hope you guys enjoy the episode. Hopefully it doesn't get too crazy. Let me see. I have one thing I wanted to talk about that was very important. What was it? Let me see. It was...
Oh, explain what we're doing. That's what it was because I wasn't exactly sure if you guys exactly knew what we were going to be doing. Now, if I had to guess, I'm going to guess Maverick is going to be talking about women the whole time on this episode. I'm going to guess Harper is singing and Kate. Kate is probably going to be crying. If I had to guess, I guess Kate probably told a sad story or something like that and maybe be crying. But honestly, I don't really know.
Kate's a wild card. I don't exactly know what she's going to be doing, but I know what we're going to be doing. We're going to begin to know each other, guys. Just me and you. I feel like I should switch positions. I don't know if everybody's set in their normal positions or not. I feel like everyone probably sat on the blue couch, but I don't really know. But we're going to be switching positions. I'm going to move to Kate. Actually, nah, I'll sit right here. I feel like on this podcast, I feel like we don't get too deep.
With each other and we don't get to really know each other. There's no one-on-one time. You know what I mean? But now we have our one-on-one time. It's just me and you guys. And you know, we're going to talk about my past. I'm going to open up about my feelings. Everyone tells me I never open up. So I was like, I'm going to open up today. This is my time to open up for you guys. Talk about my feelings. You know, a lot of times people don't want to talk about their feelings. And most of the time I'm that person that doesn't want to talk about their feelings.
But sometimes feelings need some talking about. And most of you guys don't even know where I started in life. Like, you guys know me now. You know the Cash Baker now. But you guys don't know, like, what I was like eight years ago. I grew up in Oklahoma. I was a small-town boy, guys. I'm telling you. I lived in one of those one-stoplight type of towns. You know what I mean? One of those type of towns where you walk down the street, you think a girl's cute, you find out she's your cousin. One of those type of towns. Right?
And that's not a joke. I had multiple family members find out somebody they were dating was like their third cousin. It's a very small town. And I was, you know, I was, I was a country boy, which you guys might find that hard to believe now because, you know, you see, you see this, you see like this type of things with us. But I used to, I used to raise like chickens. I used to raise dogs. Maverick had a freaking hawk bro.
He was a falconryer, a falconeer, a falconeer, a falconry person. He had a hawk that he caught out of the wild that was like this big, and he trained it to fly around in the air, and it would like go hunt, and he would be like, and it would come back and land on his fist. Is that not insane? He caught this thing out of the wild, and he taught it to fly around in the air, and then come back and land. But hawks do not like you. They do not like you. They only like you for food. They only like you for food. I mean, that's the same reason I keep –
I guess that's the same reason you kind of stay around your mama, you know? She cooks your food. She takes care of you. I guess that's how they look at it. They thought Mav was the hawk's mama. That's what he was. He was the mama to the hawks in the wild. Mav's always been like that, though. He was always a mama to nature. He took care of our dogs and hawks, our chickens, our ducks. We had ducks one time, but unfortunately, one of our dogs killed our ducks.
So the ducks did not last too long, which is kind of weird because we raised the ducks and dogs together. We thought they'd be one, but they were not one, man. They were one for a long time when they were little. They were little and they were little ducklings just hatched, little puppies that just hatched. And the ducks in the, let's just say don't mix ducks and pit bulls. If you mix ducks and pit bulls, you're going to get some duck soup. Ducks never come out on top, unless maybe you had a bunch of ducks. But I don't really see a bunch of ducks happening. I mean, you know what duck...
Actually, no, that probably wouldn't win either. But yeah, I mean, we lived on a farm. Now my parents, they bought – well, actually, I probably shouldn't really talk about what they bought. Well, okay, they bought a farm that produced illegal activity, and they bought it because it got shut down for illegal activity. And now they're turning it into a normal farm. So now our farm that we had is combined with another farm, so now we have a really big farm.
But isn't that crazy, guys? Think about it. You would never know we even had a farm. You guys just think we're LOLing all the time. We're not LOLing all the time. I mean, we're LOLing now, but that's just something we want to talk about. And you guys want to know what's crazy is yesterday I was talking to some friends, and I thought if you were to ask me yesterday if I had normal friends, I'd be like, yeah, I got pretty normal level-headed friends. Until I found out they believed in aliens. Okay, okay.
I need you guys to comment down below right now. Do you guys believe in aliens? Because my friend told me it's not even a belief. He knows there's aliens. No one knows there's aliens unless you... I guess unless you've captured one. Area 51 might have some aliens in there. Or they might just be throwing a big old party in there. But everyone comment down below right now if you guys believe in aliens. Because if you do...
I'm gonna scroll through these comment sections and I'm gonna go to every single person that says they believe in aliens and I'm gonna explain to them why they are wrong and aliens don't exist. And if you want to know why aliens don't exist, it's because my friends and all of them agreed that the aliens live underwater. Under freaking water. What type of aliens live underwater? You know, wait, I got a text. Want anything from Waterburger? Bro, they're ordering Waterburger.
Dude, I knew I should've ate. Uh, I'm gonna say yes, a honey barbecue chicken strip sandwich. Sorry guys, I'm ordering my food now. But nobody's here. I don't know where they went, but nobody's here.
And our Wi-Fi is very bad right now. Our Wi-Fi is extremely bad. We had good Wi-Fi until Mavericks decided he was going to upgrade our Wi-Fi. Which, why do you need to upgrade Wi-Fi that's not broken? You know the saying, don't fix stuff that ain't need fixing? Or, no. Don't fix stuff that ain't... What the frick is it? Don't fix stuff that ain't broken? That's a true saying. We had perfect Wi-Fi. It was flawless. It worked all the time. And then Mavericks said...
I'm going to upgrade it. He calls our Wi-Fi people. He goes, hey, can you upgrade us to the good plan, the best plan you got? They upgrade us to the best plan they got. Our Wi-Fi has never been the same. It doesn't even work anymore. In fact, I used to think Wi-Fi signals and stuff were fake until a while ago I found out. This is how bad our Wi-Fi is, by the way, in case you're wondering. But a while ago I found out that if you open a door –
or close a door, Wi-Fi does not work the same. If I'm on a computer right here and somebody's on a computer on the other side of this wall and the Wi-Fi router is right here and the other person's on the Wi-Fi router in that room right there behind me, the Wi-Fi will not work the same.
And if you were to ask me, I'd be like, okay, maybe that'd be true. Like, you know, far away. If I go, you know, outside my house and walk like a good 20,000 or 20 paces that way, then yeah, the wifi is not going to work the same, but I'm talking, you can be two feet apart, but if there is something in between it, the signals ain't signal. And I don't know how that stuff works. Like we had a TV that had a dish on it and we can angle it in the sky. And depending on where we angle in the sky, it's,
You get you get different tv shows like if you angle it right here you get you get spongebob If you angle it over here you get murder mystery So depending on what type of mood you're in you have to physically angle it at different things Does anybody want to tell me how that freaking works? You're telling me right here right here in my hand spongebob is playing in the sky and right here in this hand there's a murder mystery playing and
I can't see it. Apparently, it's giving us cancer and doing stuff to our brain, all the waves. I heard if you sleep next to your Wi-Fi router, it can cause cancer. Apparently, your phones, you're not supposed to sleep with your phone next to your head because it's radiation in your head. Can you believe that? These phones are giving us cancer.
And we sleep next to them. And the whole time, these signals are going into our head. And something about that is giving us cancer. Don't ask me how. But is that not crazy that Spongebob is just playing around you in the midst of the air? And everyone just wants to act like it's normal and act like it's okay and act like this is real. It's not freaking real, bro. And I don't really know exactly what it is, but...
I definitely really, I remember, I remember when I was in school, they had that, they had one with this TV signal thing. And I always thought it was just like for decoration, you know, like how they have a little antennas, but no, it's not. But man, did I hate school? I mean, most people probably hate school, but I really hated school. I, I was, like I said, I was a little farm kid, you know, and then I found TikTok or no, it was music. You guys remember Musical.ly?
Do you guys remember that? I found Musical.ly on my phone. And then after I found Musical.ly, I tried two years to get followers. And it never worked. Never did work. But then it ended up working after about two years. And I was like, Mom, Dad, can I please drop out? Can I please drop out to pursue my Musical.ly career? And they didn't want me to. But somehow I just slowly stopped and stopped doing school because I was homeschooled. And then about freshman year, I never really did much school after freshman year. So...
Most of the time you guys probably think I'm joking when I say I'm a dropout, but I'm not joking when I say I'm a dropout. I dropped out freshman year. Hold up. Don't drop out of school. That's not what I'm promoting here. I'm just saying my life story. Maybe you guys can feel sorry for me because I dropped out. Don't drop out of school. That's not what I'm promoting, but what I am promoting is chase your dreams, and then if you achieve those dreams...
Maybe consider dropping out. No, I'm kidding. Don't do that. Don't do that. But also, you know what I like to say? Don't go to college if you don't know what you're going to do. You know how many people go to college? They spend like $80,000 a year. Can y'all believe that? $80,000 a year to go to college and then they graduate and they don't even have a good degree and they do something they want. Obviously, don't get me wrong. If you want to be a doctor or a lawyer, you have something specific you want to be, you got to go to college for that. You got to get that knowledge.
Not my type of thing, but it's a lot of people's type of thing. And you got to get that knowledge and go there. But college, I feel like is more of a real estate investment. If I could open up a college for a real estate investment, man, I would. They put people in the type of dorms that you would put people in like at camp. You know what I mean? When you have like a log cabin at camp and everybody just in lines of bunk beds, kind of looks like a prison prison. Actually, no, I think prisoners get more room. Prisoners get their own like bedroom, like own cell. They split with two people.
campuses or what's that when you go to camp like a like church camp or summer camp you have to share a room with like everyone that's what freaking college is bro i learned that in college you get one bathroom for like a community of people it's a community bathroom if i if i had any access to that i'd be blowing that thing up so it would be my bathroom only everybody be going to the other bathroom and then you're like you know those i have stink bombs and you rub them together and it blows up
Blow some of those things up in that bathroom, man That thing would be your bathroom now, you would have to deal with the smell too, but that'd be fine Honestly, I mean guys, you know what? Hold up. We don't ever get up close and personal Why don't I ever come with I don't know if I can take one of these cameras wait one two Three I feel like I should be able to take this camera Because I think that's the one you guys are looking at me on but that camera should be free So let me let me get you guys
You know what I've been thinking about doing though? We should start a live episode. If we had a live... Everyone comment this in the comment section. If we did a live episode where we sold tickets to, like that type of episode, like we sold tickets to and you guys could buy and come, who would actually come if we did one, like the first one in Dallas, Texas? Everyone comment below if you'd come or not. Say like, I'd come or like I can't come. Everyone comment down below that.
And if we get enough comments saying that, we actually might do a live episode because I want to try one of those so bad. I've been seeing people do... Oh, sorry. Whoa. I burped. I never burp. That was pretty crazy.
I've been seeing people do podcast live episodes forever And for some reason i'm like we just don't have like we don't have like nobody's gonna show up And I don't know why I feel like that deep inside I feel like nobody's gonna show up Maybe it's because all the birthday parties I had that nobody showed up to But I feel like just nobody would show up to if we held like a live ticket thing or like we sold tickets to like a live show But we did do meets up meetups back in like 2019 and like hundreds of you guys showed up so
I'm kind of torn between the two. Mav's back! Yeah, you're done bro. Say hi to my vlog. You literally went the complete opposite direction of my vlog. Hold on. Say what's up Mav. What's up vlog? Um, I thought of a joke. Are you in frame? Yeah. Here we go. Okay. I don't think. No, I want to hear the joke. I want to hear the joke. But also hold your mic up. Some people said it was inappropriate. Oh, it's inappropriate? Who said it?
Hold the mic up. Two women said it's inappropriate. You want to hear the joke? Yeah. All right. So earlier I was talking about Kate being in the kitchen. And I was like, listen, I am not saying that it's, you know, a woman's job to be in the kitchen. I wasn't saying that it was her job to cook in the kitchen. But I am saying she naturally makes milk and eggs.
That's funny So she got the natural She got She got the key ingredients For like everything Right there That's a funny joke Sounds like she's supposed To be in the kitchen If you're going off Apparently it was inappropriate No that's funny I mean that's Arby's Whole thing They got the meats They do got the meats I mean I think that's That'd be a good slogan For like a Denny's type of restaurant We naturally make milk and eggs Or like Hooters That'd be really good
Imagine Hooters was like, Hooters, we naturally make milk. Okay. Thank you so much for watching this episode. We'll see you next time. Don't steal our slogan.