Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
- Let's do a talent show. - Bro, no! - What the frick is wrong with you? - You're always free to leave. - Oh, he's gonna cry. He's gonna cry. - I'm not gonna cry. - This is like the biggest thing.
That might should have, wow. Welcome back to the pod. Cash has found a new chair yet again. I don't know how you do it, bro. Dude, every episode, you got a better chair than the last episode. Yeah, I know. My personal favorite is that one, if I'm being honest. No, this one looks like it came straight out of a 10-year-old boy's room. Yeah. And he was like, Mom, I'm too old for a football chair now. I gotta get rid of it. Yeah. Yeah. So the 20-year-old down the street came and picked it up. Yeah. I asked him, I was like...
Can I have this chair? They're selling it for $5. Only $5? Yeah. That's a good deal. She was like, yeah, I sat down on the porch. And I was like, okay, do you take PayPal? And she's like, you can just take it. Oh my God. Honestly, $5 is not worth the hassle of having someone go to Venmo and do it though. Yeah, you wouldn't talk about... Dude, I think it's because I was going to pay her in cash and she doesn't think that money's real either, bro. Kate...
Harper, get this. She said... Harper, it's girl math. You gotta back me up. Girl math? What? Wait, what was it on? What was she spending money on? She was... Nails! Nails! It was nails. Yeah. She was like...
I was like, Kate, you spent $100 on nails? I was looking at our credit card thing. First of all, it was $90. Okay. I feel like $90 on nails is outrageous. That's like $10 each nail. Yeah. Almost. That's not... What? That's pretty normal. Can I explain my girl math? No, no, no. Wait, listen. So she spends like $90 on a credit card. And I was like...
Why'd you spend $90 on nails? That's like expensive for nails. And she's like, no, it's not. She's like, well, besides I normally pay in cash. And I was like, no, she said normally it's cheaper. Normally it's cheaper. Yeah. I was like, how? She goes, I pay in cash. And I was like, when you pay in cash, it's cheaper. And she was like, no, but it's in cash. So it doesn't really. I didn't have any cash on me. So I had the tip on the card. So it was just more expensive. I always tip with cash. So she was like, since I pay in cash, it doesn't count. No, that's. Cash is fake. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. She's like trying to get behind me. So pretty much, to simplify it, she's saying if she pays in cash instead of credit card, it's not actual money. It doesn't count. Listen, here's the thing. When I withdraw cash out of my... Yeah. Listen, when I withdraw cash out of my credit card account, that money is already gone.
We know it's in my hand, but we know that it's going to be spent on something else. Therefore, the money is no longer mine. Obviously, if I get cash, I'm going to be giving it away to somebody. And usually when I go places, I tip in cash. That's money that's already left my bank account. Okay, that's already gone. It could have been.
With that logic, I think we should go to the casino tonight, Cash. Yeah, I'm going to go cash out 10 grand. And since I already cashed it out, it's already a loss. Yeah, it's just money from the ATM. Hey, you can't argue with girl math. Yeah. If y'all want to do that. And you said give money. You said, since it's already out, I'm already going to be giving the money to someone. Giving the money to a hair, that's not giving the money. They're taking your money. No, I was. They took your money.
Tipping. That was me tipping. Yeah. The tip's like 5%. No, it's 10%. 20%. 20%, whatever. Oh, really? I don't tip that much. Are we gonna? Oh, wow. Listen, y'all have to understand girl math. I tip a dollar every time. There you go. That's a lot. There you go. No, I'm joking. I'm joking. No, listen, girl math. When you're shopping and you pick something up,
If it's $17, it's not $17. It's pretty much $10. There ain't no way Kate's talking about looking at the prices when shopping. You just took it, Kate. When it's $17... Remember you said you stole everything? You always round down. Listen, that was my past. Now I'm talking about girl math. You always round down whenever you're buying. If your total is $28... No, it wasn't. It was only $20. Round down always. She rounds up when I...
She rounds up when I spend money. I'm like, it was $55. She's like, that's practically $100. I'm like, what? I lost $900 at the casino, and she says, you lost $1,000. Oh, also, if my Starbucks account, if I'm ordering Starbucks, every time I go to checkout, and it automatically reloads my Starbucks card, when I go to checkout at Starbucks...
It's pretty much free because the money has already left my bank account. It's now just in my Starbucks wallet. That is so not true. So when I like scan my card, Joe's shaking his head yes. No, when it's in my Starbucks wallet, it's fine. No, you don't know. What? When my money's in my Starbucks wallet, it's fine. You have a Starbucks wallet? Yes. I go to Starbucks pretty much every morning. Yeah. No, because Starbucks has this thing, which is such a good thing for them, but terrible thing for the customers. When you go on their app, you have to have your, like if you're buying on the app, you have your credit card in.
And when you go to check out, if it's your totals like $10, but you only have $5 in your Starbucks wallet, it's like, do you want to automatically reload your Starbucks card? And it's like, you can put 25 more dollars on it, but you can't take that option away pretty much unless you get like on the phone with like customer support and everything. So when I go to Starbucks, you'll see $25 charges on our debit card or our credit card or whatever.
But in my Starbucks wallet, you know. Yeah, yeah. That's a tricky game they're playing. They are. No, they literally, they just always like, it's like, do you want to reload your Starbucks wallet? And it's like, well, I'm trying to buy Starbucks right now, so I have to. Yes, I'll reload my Starbucks wallet. Okay, I have an idea. Okay.
Harper's got a game again. No. Let's do a talent show. Oh, my gosh. I'm so down for that. I'm not going to lie. That's actually one of your first good ideas. Harper. I don't know if it's a good idea. Okay. Let's do a talent show, I say. Okay. Go first. What's your talent? So I didn't think about that, but I'm trying to think. Do you have any secret hidden talents? Yeah. Let's do like a secret hidden talent thing. So not like an actual thing. Can you like put your leg behind your head or something?
No, I wish. Actually... Okay, so you said let's have a talent show and you don't even have a talent? Wait, wait, wait. I can put my thumb all the way down there. Oh, I can do...
Everyone was commenting about this and it made me so insecure. Watch my talent show first. Okay, I don't think I can do it. Oh, that should be broken. Show it to the camera. That one.
- Oh my God! - Look at the smile on her face, she's so proud. - Wait, can you do it backwards like this way? - Oh, I can do it too! - No, I cannot do it. - Oh! - Well, since everybody can do it, I have another hidden talent. I can hyper extend my arms. - Oh, same. - Okay, let's see, like this? - Nope. Okay, well I can actually do better, so. - Oh, that does look a little broken. - Wait. - Bro, no! - Oh my gosh! - No! - Take your arm!
Do this arm. Do this arm. I'll do it again. What the frick is wrong with you? Oh my gosh. No, quit it, quit it, quit it. You should see her when she does push-ups, bro. They both go in. Now that everybody has my talents, I have to do another one. She can't even do a push-up. Do you know Kate can't do one push-up? Can you do a push-up? Push-up contest. Just one push-up.
That looks pretty easy. I feel like everyone should be able to. Kate, can you do a push-up? Try. Please. Try, Kate. You can do one. Come on. You can do one. Y'all think I can't? You can't do one push-up? Guys, listen. What happens if you fall down? I will put everything into this push-up. Everything in my body, I'm putting into this push-up. I just don't believe that because you're already starting off with, I'm going to fail and I know I am. No, I'm telling you. Where's the motivation? Who's going to move the boats?
So never say that again ever, please. What? Huh? Yeah, that's it. I guess our audience is like 15. They're probably not going to get it. Wait, do it this way. They can see it closer to the camera. Yeah, there you go. Just do it. You can do it. All right. All right. One push-up. Here we go. One push-up, Kate. One push-up. Two, one. Down. No, down. Her arms are shaking. Back up. I couldn't. Yes, you can. You're faking. Her arms are shaking. Listen. You got it. All right. You got this. I don't even know if the camera can see you, but...
Oh, this isn't even this is pathetic. Okay. Oh, sit back down. Oh my god. Okay. You already from my hidden talent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Here's my hidden talent. Oh, gosh. That's your thumb. It does. That's an egg. That's not special. Oh, wow. It's really back there. Look how far it's going. Nobody else can do that, huh? That's so gross. Yeah. Yeah, you can do it. I feel like his is further. Oh my gosh. Everybody can do it except for me. No, look. Actually.
Oh my gosh, I have a hip-hop I can do. Hip-hop? She does, but you won't be able to hear it on camera. I know, you won't be able to hear it. Unless you put a microphone right on it. Matt, what's your hidden talent? Hidden talent? Oh, jeez. I don't really have a hidden talent. Yes, you do. All of your talents are in the daylight. Yeah, yeah, I don't really hide them. I let everyone know. Yeah, we know. See, both of y'all are touching y'all's mics again. Oh. Sorry, Dad. All the time. Don't fiddle. Don't watch last episode. Because I touch mine a lot.
Wait. Cash is like harassing everyone. He's like, stop touching your mic. And then Joe comes in and he's like, Cash, you touch your mic a little too much. Yeah, I know. Cash is like the first one to point fingers. Yeah. But he's also the first one Joe had a toll. Ew. I really don't want to.
Pointing with the thumb. Sorry. There you go. Ew! That makes me want to throw up. All right, Matt and Kate, y'all are going to have a hidden talent. I literally told you my hip can pop. Okay, well, you can't do that one here, so do another hidden talent. No, her hidden talent is she can't do a push-up, right? Are we doing, like, real hidden talents or, like, stupid little things? Because so far... First of all, what was that? Oh, wait, wait, wait. I have a hidden talent. I have a real hidden talent. Oh, let's see. Okay. Okay. I'm just going to do this thing I saw off TikTok. Okay.
That was actually pretty good. Wait, what did you say? I said, Daddy, Daddy, I'm stuck in the closet and I can't get out. Do it again. Because it sounds like I'm in the closet. Do it again. That's pretty good, but I think I can do it too. Ready? Here we go. Wait, hold on. Nope. No. Okay. Yeah, see, it's hard. No, I... Because they did this...
I can't get it. Listen, because I watched iCarly and real ones know they did this on iCarly before they did it on TikTok, so I practiced. Oh my gosh, I watched it on iCarly too. Really? What? Okay. No. All right, do it, Kate. Oh, that one was good. That was crazy. That was the best one. I told you. That was crazy good. Oh my God. You're freaking me out today. That was weird. That was good. I'm telling you, I had a lot of free time. I actually got a hidden talent. I told you.
Okay, it's my turn. Ready? Yeah. Here we go. Oh. Wow. I hate that sound. He does it all the time. I can do it loud. I can't do it very loud right now, but yeah. That's so annoying. It's actually... It literally sounds so bad. Please stop. And it's not like he's just doing this in front of the camera. He does it all day. He walks around the house.
I missed one. Oh, no. I think I've had the most hidden talents. So, guys, what are we going to talk about? Oh, so... So, now you're acting like me. So, uh...
Harper. The word uh and um, those are banned from your vocabulary. Yeah, well, Kate, yeah is banned from yours. And like is banned from yours. Like? Yeah. You're the one that had the like counter. Yeah, but one time. Wait, do I say yeah a lot? She's trying not to say it too. Wait. I'm trying to say like a sentence without saying, you know. I bet I can make you say the word green.
There's no way. I never fail at these games. I never fail. Make him say it. Oh, okay. Okay. What color is the sky? Blue. Oh. What color is a pony? White. What color is a plant? No, green wasn't the color. Brown? Huh? Green wasn't the color. Yellow. Okay, brown. No, green wasn't the color. I was saying B-L-U-E was the color.
Blue. Blue. Never mind. I can't do it. I just can't. It didn't work. It didn't. I told you I always win. How about y'all try to make me say something? Say what? Okay. Okay. I got it. Anything. Wait. Spell silk. S-I-L-K. Spell it again. S-I-L-K. You got to tell her what word not to say first. No, no, no. No. No, this is how it goes. Just trust me. Okay. What do cows drink? Water. Mine failed too. Wait, I got it. Yeah.
An ex-policeman loses his house, his wife, and his left pinky finger. What did he lose first? His wife.
His wife, his house, and his ex-pinky... Wait, say it again. Say it one more time. I don't remember it. I see this in my DMs all the time. The amount of people that send me this is crazy. An ex-policeman loses his wife, his house, and his pinky finger. Why are you saying... What did he lose first? His job. Oh, his job. His job.
Yeah, Mav's right. Wait, I got another one from... I got one from... So far, nobody's has worked. What about this one? I heard this one on iCarly, too. Oh, wow.
I love iCarly. A cowboy rides into town on Friday. He stays for three days. The horse's name is Friday. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. This is Friday. It is. Wait, did you watch iCarly? I got one. I actually got one. I actually got one. Okay, Harper. Yeah? Spell fort. F-O-R-T. Okay, now say fort. Fort. Okay, now...
I need another word like that. One second. We're so bad at these. What's a word that... Wait. I got one. Can I go? Wait, say fort three times fast. Fort, fort, fort. Okay. What do you eat? Spoon. Oh, man.
I'm so good at these. I'm really good. No, I think we all just heard these our whole entire lives. I got one. Oh, okay. Okay. So this guy thinks he can run faster. I'm faster. No, no, no. He's no, he, he's, he's an NFL player and he thinks he can run faster than anyone else.
so but not me right no he does so he's like you know what i'm gonna get guinness book of i'm gonna get guinness out here and see i'm so get them to time me and see if i'm the fastest man in the world okay so he does it his other buddy he thinks he's the strongest in the world so he's like hey you know what i'm gonna get guinness to see if i'm the strongest in the world okay he does it guinness comes out
The third buddy, he says, you know what? I think I'm the most annoying person in the world. I'm going to see if Guinness will see how annoying I am. So they do it. They wait a couple weeks. They finally get their results back. The first guy opens it up. He's like, oh my gosh.
Guys, I am. They gave me a certificate. I'm the fastest man in the world. Okay. The second guy opens his up. He's like, oh my gosh. Guys, I did it. I'm the strongest man in the world. Okay. Stop touching those mics. The third person opens theirs up and they said, who the heck is Harper? Hey. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
It's not that funny. It's not funny. That one is good. No, no, no, no. I was lost for a second. I was like, this show is not going to be funny. But it was. I stick around. So there's a certificate. Did you make that up yourself? No.
No, I didn't make it up. You have a certificate. Yeah, I have a certificate. Oh, let's see yours. I wonder whose name is going to be on it. So I come into the Guinness World Records, and I'm like, huh, I wonder who doesn't get any girls. Oh, who's Maverick? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Yeah. Okay? All right? I got a certificate. It just wasn't as funny. No, it was. It was funnier. All right, what's your certificate? I gotta think about what my certificate is. What?
It's not here yet. Oh. Okay, well, when it gets here, let us know. Yeah, yeah. You let us know. So is that like a dupe for the maracuja oil? Yeah, what are you doing, dog? Guys, there is fur in my lip gloss. Fur? Fur. Oh. Why are you messing with lip gloss right now? Well, I just saw that it was...
Are you barking? No. No, you were definitely barking. You want some? No, I was seeing... Oh. No, I don't want some. No, I... Are you scared of lip gloss? It smells like cherry. I thought you were a man. I am a man. Do you fear lip gloss? No. He's a girl. Looks like you were scared. No. He's a lady. Put it on me. Oh.
God! You're not a man. You just put the gloves on. Is it still there? That's crazy. It's sparkly. It's sparkly now. You didn't tell me it was sparkly. It's okay. You're not scared of anything. You proved it.
You proved you're a man. You put on the lip gloss. So, what should we do? Can you stop that? Now they make us sound like worse podcasters than when Harper goes, no, this is boring. What should we do? Harper does that too often. I know. Oh.
Listen. Harper. Stop barking. I'm not. I'm just breathing. Loudly. That's not breathing. Guys, did you know? What are you swallowing air with your vocal cords? Socks cost like a dollar. Yeah. But they put so much work into these things. Like, if you can't see, like. You know how socks made? Like, it's like handcrafted. Handcrafted. No. We buy them Louis Vuitton. Yeah. And then look at this. They're.
There even is a little sticky thing on the back, so it holds onto my heels. Oh, wow. Maybe your socks are kind of advanced. I'm not going to lie. Mine don't have that. Yeah. Mine have holes. Oh. I keep trying to throw them away. That's embarrassing. Mine used to have holes in them, but then I got advanced. And I can also point my toes forward.
Like a ballerina. Harper. Yeah. I have a question. Yeah. Out of everyone on the podcast, who's your favorite co-host? Absolutely not. What? You. Really? Yeah. You don't mean that. I do. Look, I know me and you have had our differences. You're not my favorite. Just face it. I just think like we're the best chemistry. Oh.
We provide the best entertainment. Y'all beef too hard. I say we all go around the room and we say one good thing about each other. And one bad thing about the podcast. Like you do good on the podcast for this. And then a bad thing. And then you suck at this. Yeah, and then you suck at this. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, Kate, you go first. No, I'm not going first. Okay, Harper, you go first. Okay, Kate, you're really good. Oh, so you're really good at...
Wait, wait, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking. Maybe you should start out with the bad thing. Okay, so you're really... That one's easier. I'm trying to think, I'm trying to think. I'm waiting. Oh, you're really good at making me feel at home. Mm-hmm.
It's because I brought you snacks. Yeah. And I give you a new shirt each episode because you always forget to bring your own. Yeah. And then you're really bad at... She's not hesitating. And then you're really bad at... I really don't know. Oh, come on. You say stuff all the time. There's so many bad things about Kate. No, I really don't know. I really don't know what you're bad at. Like singing? Yeah.
Yeah, that's true. I just say your turn. That's true. You did get it. It's your turn. No, you're next. She picks you. Who do I say? Oh, who do I say it about? You can pick any of us three. But you can't pick Harper. Okay. Well, I thought we had to say... I thought I was going to say something bad about each of y'all and then she was going to say something bad about each... I thought we were going to do everyone. Oh, yeah. Good idea. That's a good idea. Well, she picked you, so now it's your turn. Okay. Yeah, you go. Say something about Mav. Maverick? What if I wanted to do you? Okay, do me. Okay, but what if I wanted to do Maverick? Then do Maverick. Okay.
Let's see. Who should I do? Harper, who should I do? Wait, no, no. Harper, do me. That's what I was saying. Yeah, that's what we were saying. That's going to take forever. Okay, I'll go fast. I'll go fast. I'll go fast. So Cash is really bad at his style. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, what are those jeans? It's got camouflage in the knee patches. Yo. I'll just take it. I'll just take it. All right. What am I good at? What am I good at? You're good at...
Getting holes in your socks. Oh my gosh, that's so true. That was just another bad thing. No. Give me an actual compliment. Okay. Come on. You're gonna get me brand deals? I don't know. I really don't know. I guess that works. Okay, so me, I'm great at everything. Oh, you're doing yourself. I'm joking. So, Matt, you are really bad at...
There's a lot. This one's going to be long-awaited. Hard for just everything you've been feeling. Unleash it now. Okay. You're really bad at... Oh, Jesus. You're really bad... He's going to cry. He's going to cry. I'm not going to cry. This is like the biggest thing. He's like... This is like the... I don't... You're really bad at dancing.
That might should have stayed unsaid. Yeah, some things are better left unsaid. I think you've got to compliment him now. You better hurry. Oh no, I see tears forming. You look really bad. Oh wait, you have better style than Cash.
I'll take it. Yeah. See, see, see. All right, go fast. Matt, say something good and bad about everyone. Okay, off the top of your head. Kate is really, really good at freaking...
Oh, what? Cooking. She's really good at cooking. Okay, now bad thing, bad thing. Bad thing, she always brings grandma vibes to the podcast with the blanket. That is true. Me, me, me, me, me. Wait, I was so harsh. Cash is really good at keeping the podcast on track. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cash is really bad at interrupting people in the middle of their stories. That's totally not true. Well, I said it. No, dude, you just interrupted it. Harper is really...
annoying so she's really bad that's true shut your mouth that's all and then we're not talking to you she's also really good at annoying me oh there's that oh those two were the exact same things okay Cash you are I'm first oh so good at finding a new fun chair to sit in each week
You are good at that. It's incredible. It really is incredible. Thanks, guys. Your... Your style isn't even that bad, actually. What? Yeah, I felt kind of bad. Your socks aren't even that bad. Cash, you are really bad about...
Not going into the bathroom when you have to fart and just farting. I'll take it. I'll take it. I stand strong in that. Yep, and it's really gross. All right, go. Me, me, me. Harper, you are really good at the podcast. You're good at it. Oh, that's it? Just the general podcast? No, you're good. You're like funny. You're entertaining. You're off the walls. Your hair needs fixed.
No. Looks kind of stupid. Yeah. There you go. Okay. Anyways, what did I just say? You're really good at the podcast? You are
really bad about like zoning out sometimes and you just like pick at yourself or you'll just like stare off into space. You are you are really good at making me feel bad right now because you're giving me the sad puppy dog eyes. So that's a great quality you have. Thank you. Your laugh does make Kate feel bad a lot. I'm not gonna lie. I do? Yeah. Alright, what's his good thing? Or what's his bad thing? You're really bad about sometimes you make jokes that hurt my feelings. Oh, okay.
That's fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, my turn, my turn. Who should I start with? Kate. All right, Kate, you are really good at... Dog, she's your wife. Come on, say something good. Yeah, you're really good at making the bed. Oh. Wow. That's what I'm good for. I wake up in the morning and our bed gets made. And you're really bad at... Let's see. You're really bad at making the bed. Oh. You're really bad at...
Cooking chicken. Oh my gosh. I don't want to talk about it. It's not good. Oh, that's not good. If you want saliva, vanilla poisoning, salivate.
Sal-a-na-banilla poisoning. I got you. Sal-a-banilla poisoning. Sal-a-manilla. Sal-a-manilla. That's what you're trying to say? You said Sal-a-manilla. Sal-a-banilla. I thought you said vanilla poisoning. No, no, no. Wait, hold on. It's Sal-a-banilla poisoning. Nope. How do you say it? Sal-a-manilla. Sal-a-manilla. Sal-a-manilla? Wait, let me think because now I'm forgetting. All right, well, whatever it is, just trust me, she can give it to you. Oh, no. She's got it. What?
Harper, you are really good at... Oh. This is harder than I thought. Oh, shoot. Harper's really good. It's bad that my first thing comes to is annoying, too, but you know what? I'm not going to hit it. I can't double up on answers here. What is with the annoyingness? I am not annoying. No, no. Definitely not. Oh. We both just made that up. Yeah. No. You're really good at...
Not paying attention. Yeah. And you're really bad at... Yeah, thanks for blaming that on my ADHD. And you're really bad at... We never said anything about that. That was you. I don't even know if you have ADHD. I think you're faking it. I'm sorry. I think everyone is faking ADHD and colorblindness. Everyone that has that, I'm so sorry that I didn't say that. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't mean it. Colorblindness, I'm sorry. There is... You know there's no way to prove it? I think there is. No, no, no.
There's not. Listen, I could call it color red, but I'm blue. Are you good? Yeah, I'm fine. Anyways, Mav, you're really good at fake laughing. I am. I add a lot of fake laughter to the pod. Your jokes aren't funny. What? Y'all can see Matt fake laughing when he does this right here.
No, sometimes that's real. No, it's like the high-pitched one, like, ah! Yeah, he's like, ah! That's not true. Those are real. He's like, take it back. And then you're really bad at, you're really bad at touching your microphone. Oh. I'm bad at touching it? Yeah, you're bad at touching it. You touch it way too much. Oh. Jay, stop! What?
Now that we've all got that off our chest. This is why you bore everyone. So you just yawned. You're like, you dress like a grandma. You got a blanket on. She dresses like a grandma, says the slowest stories possible. Y'all don't know what style is. What? That's like the vibe. Next part, she's going to be sitting there knitting. Guys.
Well, okay, actually, so I had the blanket for a while on the podcast, and then, oh, Cash gets mad when I put my hair behind my ears like this. Why? It just doesn't look as good.
Oh. Anyways. But she had bought so many piercings for no reason. How is everyone going to see the holes I put in my ear myself? Yeah. No one likes ears. Yeah. Nobody. And I've never met somebody that's like, wow, look at all those piercing. That looks great. Look at all those ears. I had the blanket for the first few episodes. And then somebody named James Baker, my father-in-law, told me that the blanket looked terrible and I need to get rid of it. And I listened to him. And then I decided, you know what, James Baker? I like my blanket.
So I brought it back. You know he's watching this right now. Yep, James Baker, I saw your comment. I remember when you said... He commented, bro. Dad commented, and Kate was like, your dad commented on the video. And he just said, lose the blanket. And in the next episode, he said, glad she got rid of that terrible blanket. Bro. It's okay, James, I forgive you, but the blanket's here to stay.
Yeah. No. You're getting another phone call. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Who is it? Jack Harlow's calling? No. Harlow. Just Harlow. Should we answer it? Yeah. Wait. I'm answering. Wait. Why the hair fluff? Is he someone important? I'm on the podcast right now.
Oh, okay. Bye. Wait, Harlow's a girl? Yes! What do you think? He said Jack Harlow. He said Jack Harlow. I don't know what to do. No, okay, but a lot of people ask me if I can shout them out on the podcast. And what do you say to them? Can you shout me out? Yeah, that's exactly what they say. No, but can you shout me out real quick? No. No, wait, I'm going to put this clip on my account. Can you shout me out? Come on, you got this. Shout out to Cash Baker.
That's good. Shout out to Trash Baker. What? I should have said that. No, but you know what? So literally everybody asked me to shout them out and I'm like, no. Like, no. Wait, why do you tell them no? Period. Like, I'm just like, yeah. Like, duh. Like, no. Slay. Yes, queen. So I'm just going to say all the names in nine seconds. Okay? Okay. All the names. Give us the names of every- Actually, make it two seconds. Okay. Everyone who's ever asked for a shout out. Wait, I'm trying to think. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Hold on. Wait, wait. She's going to name the people? I don't know if that's a good thing to do.
No, they actually asked. No, no, no, just go for it. Go for it. You got two seconds. Oh, they want you to say their names. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, um, Amy, Jeter, Sophie, Stink. Oh, wait, should I say their last names? No, just say their names. Amy, Sophie, Severin, Trey, Eric. Hey, that's time. Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, no one else made the cut. Anybody after Trey, you're out of luck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, yeah. So, what do you tell them when they ask you that? Are you like, no! I'm like, stop! Oh, sorry. Do you like...
I feel like it's more like, stop. Hey, watch it. Can you switch the camera angle to me? Oh. Self-centered? I just feel like the camera angle wasn't on me and I just wanted it to be. Was the camera angle on Cash? No. Wait. There's no way that... It's definitely on me now. The camera angle has to definitely be on me now. Really? Is it on him? No. There's no way that box has a TV in it. The box has a TV, yeah.
Is it real, Joe? Yeah, it's real. Am I on the screen? That is some FBI. Okay, am I on the screen? I can't see. Nope. I'm not on the screen. So all the cameras are set up and then they're like cut into different things. So it looks like a bunch of security cameras. Cash, you're on the camera now. Yeah. What's up, guys? Am I on the camera? Okay, enough about the cameras. Oh, shout out to Joe. You're on the camera. Yeah.
Let's go. Let's go. Harper, Harper, Harper. Yes, yes, yes. Listen. Yes. I feel like we've talked about this a little bit, but we haven't talked about it a lot since you started school. When you first started this year, we kind of talked about it. But has school gotten any better? You know your way around any better? Yeah, a lot better, actually. I feel like I... Sorry, I'm not touching the mic. I feel like I have more friends now.
I think. I hope. I mean, I don't know. You think you have more friends? I think. I hope people don't hate me. No, but like... That's a good thing to hope. See, you just yawned again. The podcast bore you that much? Yeah.
Yeah. Anybody who's watching. You can go take a nap. We'll finish. Like we said, you're always free to leave, Kate. No. No, guys. I'm sorry. I'm just a tired gal. You know why? Because Mr. Beast? Mr. Jim. Oh. Mr. Jim over here was like, get up. We got to go to the gym. And it was early and we went to bed late. So I'm tired. Kate, you wouldn't go to the gym early. I know.
Yeah, I woke her up at 8.30. Y'all didn't leave the house until like 9.30. Yeah, because of her. Dude, I woke her up two mornings ago. What was that? I woke her up. I woke her up. I woke her up. I woke Kate up two days ago. This is exactly how I woke her up. Oh my gosh. No.
Yeah, I wish I could speak right. Sometimes I don't know if the United States is my native spot or not. See, that's still not right. You mean you don't know if English is your first language? Yeah. I don't know if the United States is my native spot.
You're just saying words that make no sense. Okay, I woke Kate up two days ago and I flipped the blinds on and I just shook her and said, it's time to wake up. That's it. And she cried about that. She said, you woke me up like a drill sergeant. And then I was like, no, I didn't. I just flipped on the blinds and said, it's time to wake up. She said, yeah, that's not very loving. And she goes, yeah, I want you to like hug me and like whisper and be like, it's time to wake up.
And I was like, well, if I do that, you're just going to push me off and be like, no, not yet. And so I was like, okay, I'll do that tomorrow. I did it. I did it this morning. I hugged her and I was like, Kate, it's time to wake up. She goes, no, not yet. And she rolls over. And I was like, no, we got to go. But she goes, no. He goes back to bed.
Listen. That's what I do. It's okay. Y'all gotta work on that. Have y'all thought about seeing him? I literally felt like I was in the army getting woken up the other day. I feel like that's a bit dramatic. He yanks the blinds open and he goes, time to get up. No. I'm gonna get a trumpet, Kate. I'm gonna sing the song. Yeah.
See how you like that? We'll both get trumpets. I'll play drums. Somebody's FaceTiming me again, but it's a fan. Who is it? I'm not going to say their number, but I don't know their name. Well, don't answer it. I won't. And then also, she's like, hey, can you help me in the gym? Like, I want to be, I want to do good in the gym.
And I'm like, okay, yeah, I'll help you in the gym. Every single time. But as we're walking, she's like, I can't wait for you to help me in the gym. The second we go in the door, she starts crying and she's mad at me. I'm not mad. I'm mad at myself. Because I can do better. I was embarrassed for her today. She couldn't do a push-up and, oh my gosh, the gym owner was watching her. I know. I was like, okay, come on, come on. Just do one. No, Matt, the gym owner, he was watching her do the push-ups. And then afterwards, he was like...
Can I give y'all a tip with the push-ups? I was like, sure, please, because she can't do one. That's crazy. And he was like, maybe start against the wall like this. He wants her to stand up against the wall and push like this. Because she can't even do a girl push-up. You have strength, it's just you don't have arm strength. Your strengths are in other areas, like your heart.
Thanks, Harper. You're welcome. Listen, I think, here's the thing is I think I'm low-key traumatized from playing sports. Traumatized? No, because playing sports, listen, if I, when I played sports, if I messed up, I was degraded. I was like, like, things I can't even say on this podcast. I'm not even joking. I was cursed out. I was called stupid. At the gym? No, like on my sports teams. I was told if anybody with a brain comes in next year that actually works, you're not playing. I was like 14. Like, I was literally
degraded these are just the things I say so now when I work out I'm like especially when he's like you should try to do a mile and a half if I don't do it I'm like I suck I'm terrible I need to quit I'm the worst person ever so that's why I'm like I want to cry
Because she makes me look so bad, bro. This guy was sitting right next to us doing a workout. And Kate's like, I'm telling her, I'm like, do it. You got this. You got this. She's like, you're so mean to me. She's saying that as she's doing the workout. I'm like, I look like a horrible dude right now. I'm sitting here next to this girl like, come on, do it. And she's like, you're so mean. I don't want to do it anymore. I'm like, oh, gosh, no. Please stop saying that, Kate. That can really take a toll on your mental health. Thank you. Thank you.
It really can. I know. I really should start talking about my mental health more. Yeah, it's hard. Speaking of my mental health, guys. Oh, gosh.
Mental health is brought up and everyone's laughing. Yeah Seriously what is going on? It's just every do we talk about this? No, no, no, okay? We're not talking about mental health. Okay. Why?
Is there something wrong with that? I don't understand. No, it's just like, it's the LOL podcast. It's supposed to be happy, fun, take your mind off of your mental health. Mental health can be like, you know, like, I mean, technically mental health doesn't mean bad. I would say that we have pretty good mental health.
It's pretty great. Next level. My mental health is off the charts. If this is the bottom of mental health, I'm the top of mental health. I've unlocked mental health. So I should probably be a mental health coach. How would you say your mental focus is? Which focus? I think it's... I haven't... No, I wish Vines were still...
thing i literally love them like i yeah you know i'd go hard on vine yeah yeah what do you mean from vine of vine right yeah i swiped like avatar yeah wait i have to fart wait nope nope
Your mom's telling you no. You're just going to have to put it in. I can't. I'm about to blow off the couch. That would be impressive. Don't make that into a short. No, stop. Make it into a short and just edit it and go to the sky. I'm going to blow off the couch. And pop up like Elon Musk. Oh, yeah. Wait. So Elon Musk. I'm so mad right now. Why?
why next to this maverick is so mavericking right now maverick is so mavericking yeah that's a good way to put it because you said it so hard no because my brain just got what you said i was trying to process it no no one acknowledged me and you try to take credit no can y'all believe there's actually a man that has the power to just send things into space and bring them back
That's my dream one day, bro. Like, one man has all that. Like, only one person in history has ever had that kind of power. I know. That's my dream. Because think about it. If I can send things into space, I could send Harper there and never bring her back. Oh. Okay, that's cruel. Think about that. That's my stuff. Harper would survive on Mars. Yeah. You could do the podcast. Harper's pretty good at the pod. Maybe we send someone else to... Yeah, that is true. If one of us had to go, it'd probably be... Maverick, right? Yeah, that's what we were thinking. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. Yeah, me. No, yeah, me for sure. Yeah, definitely Maverick.
Elon Musk is pretty Elon Musk. He's actually pretty cool. Like I think he, what do you like about him? Cause I don't feel like, I don't feel like he's your genre. No, he is. He is. He's pretty much my whole Johnny. Johnny. So what's like the coolest thing about Elon Musk?
Probably that he's a rocker or X. Yeah, he made What do you want your first car to be actually or what's it called a Bronco a Bronco Bronco Bronco or that's a big when you turn 16. Are you gonna buy a car? Oh? Yeah, like my own money I Mean my mom why would you do that? Yeah? What if your mom's like you've made enough money you can buy your own car I?
I would move out of the house and I would start a new life. If y'all could pull a Twitter and just like switch your name, would you? Yeah. Wait, what is Twitter? Yeah, bro. I've always wanted my middle name to be Cash, last name Baker.
And my first name, Lil. Lil Cash Baker. I'm going to name my son that, bro. That makes sense. You're not going to name your son Lil Cash Baker. My son's being named Lil Cash Baker. No, we're not. Yes, he is. Lil Cash Baker. What if he turns out to be like an accountant? Lil Cash, that's perfect. Lil Cash the accountant, bro. He can go so many routes. He can be Lil Cash the rapper, Lil Cash the accountant, Lil Cash the cashier. I wish my name was Hyden. Hyden? Yeah, Hyden. Hyden Harper? Yeah, Hyden Harper Zomer.
Sounds like a YouTube name. Hayden? Yeah, I never heard of Hayden before. No, it's like, I don't know if I, like, it's my mom. Sorry. It's my mom's last name, like maiden last name. Hayden? Hayden. Yeah, so I. It sounds more like a last name, not a first name. Yeah, I was going to say, first name sounds a little different. Maverick, would you change your name? Oh,
Oh, heck no. My name. Everyone loves my name. No. Do they? Everyone loves my name too. No. No, I wouldn't change my name. Well, why should I change my name to be? Because Kate. You look like a Tatum. Guys, Joe's gone. Should I go switch the camera angles? Yes. No, no, no. I'm going to go switch the camera angles. Don't touch Joe's equipment. Don't touch that. Don't touch anything over there. Don't. Cash, get back here. No. Cash. Oh, no. Am I on the camera?
Oh shoot, I do not know what to click. There's a lot of buttons there, be careful. Don't touch anything. Cash. Cash. Come back. Joe! Joe! Cash. Help. That's enough. Dude, I would totally click it if I knew something. No! No! Get your hands off! Hands off! It says one, two, and three. No! No, no, no, no! No. No. No. Stop. You might, what if you're in the pod? What if you press a button and you're in the whole pod? Oh. And it deleted it. Yeah!
Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, never hear you. Yeah, they can hear me. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Oh, just doing a hidden talent. Where did you go? Oh, gosh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Joe, I could do that. So easy. Oh, you can't. I literally got that. Wait, Joe, can you show me how to switch the camera angles? I can actually probably do that. You think you could do it? There's no way.
There's no way you can do that Harper. I think you got it Harper. Harper that's really hard. It's too late now, but thanks for asking. You got this girl. I'll be mad impressed if you can do this. Don't fall into the light. You remember the last time you tried to do the same thing I did right? Yeah. The back flip? There's a video on... It didn't go well.
That's a good handstand. Hey, that's pretty good. It was there. It was almost there. I'm never going to do that ever again. Cash, stop being the producer. Who wants the camera angle? Me. Wow. That's a bit. No. What the hell? They kind of just want all the attention, don't you? Me, me, me.
Who just walked into our house? Probably Alex. Definitely Alex. Alright, I think that's actually time to end the podcast. Wait, we're gonna end it? Oh. Okay, wait, wait, wait. I wanna try one time. Okay, never mind. We're not ending the podcast. That's a wrap. Matt, if you're gonna knock something... No, always wants to be the main character. He's gotta copy everyone. Oh. Oh, okay. He got... Okay.
Oh wow. Uh, so I don't find this interesting. That's so unimpressive. Anybody here can do that. I can do it if someone can hold my feet. Yeah, same. If someone can hold my feet. Wait, mom, can you come hold my feet? No, you're pretty weak. You're pretty small. I can do it. I'll hold your feet. Don't. No, no, no. No? Why? Never mind. You already tried too long. You already tried for too long. Fine. Oh yeah, you're right. Wait, did the camera angle even get my arms?
I don't know. Why did you want to show your arms? Probably honestly shot right over your head. I don't even know if you're in camera angle right now. What? That's such a violation. So I am going to call my lawyers. Do you have a lawyer? No. But I mean, I will. Your cousin Ed does, right?
Cousin Ed. Ed Sheeran. Oh shoot guys. I have a thing came in. What? What was the thing y'all were opening earlier? What's it called? Goldfish. No. What? We were opening snacks. I had goldfish. We were opening snacks. No, no, no. What's the thing you were opening from the Olympics or from the Guinness Book of World Records? Certificates. Yeah, my certificate came in. Oh, it did? Yeah. Oh, I remember that. Yeah, but mine came in now. Okay, what's your certificate?
Yeah, sure you want me to open it? I mean, I'll open it. I don't know what it says yet. Okay. I don't know what it says. Okay. Well, you know what you applied for. But it is what it is. It is what it is. You got the world record in? What? Oh, it's a riddle. It's a riddle. What has hair like a lion and weighs as much as a lion? Oh. Harper? No, Kate. And I think that's where we're going to end this episode. Awesome.
See y'all next time. Make sure that you watch. No, we're not ending it. We're not ending it. Don't click off. You're going to hurt our retention time. Wait, I think I have. Yeah, listen. There's a video at the end of this that you have to watch because you guys have the chance to enter to win either money, FaceTime calls. You might even win that chair. A million dollars. The prize is a million dollars, actually. What? Yeah, it's definitely a million dollars. No, we do have a million dollars, actually. We were just sponsored by...
By America. Oh, wow. The government. No, Beastables did. So if you don't get the million, just contact Mr. Beast. I guess he's working it out. Harper, you're too gullible. All right, guys. We're going to wrap it up. Check out the pod. Check out the video at the end. We're on the pod. All right. I'm about to say goodbye. Peace out, bro. Shaka. No, go follow Harper's Albert. No. What? All right. Peace out, bro. Shaka. Peace out, bro. Shaka.
Whoever has the most viewed video using a clip from this podcast on TikTok or YouTube Shorts, we're going to be personally FaceTiming. Post as many times as you want, but make sure to tag the podcast and use hashtag the LOL podcast in the title slash description. Good luck and we hope you win.