Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Cash, if Kate said Maverick has to move out, would you tell her to leave or would you make me leave? I don't know why you would think I would choose you. You know what I just saw? He said I like Kate better than a wink to Maverick. Wow. Oh, is it me or Maverick? You had to live with one of us because you never actually answered.
Yo, welcome back to the show, guys. Hey, Matt, so before we start, you were telling me about your pyramid scheme. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I got this idea. I'm like, I got all these... No, I can't say it. No! I think I'm missing a joke here. I don't get it. Listen, he's got a bunch of...
Workers. Some employees that are underpaid. And I'm going to make them move rocks. 50,000 miles. Wait, you're the guy on the dirt. What? The guy. Do you carry sheep around? Oh my gosh, they're ruining all the jokes. What guy on what? You know how like there's the pyramids? Nope. Nope. You know how there's the pyramids? And then a couple miles down there's the big rocks of like carved out people and he just sits there like this? Yeah, he's the guy on the rocks. Oh, yeah, the little one.
Pharaoh? Yes, I'm Pharaoh. Oh. Anyways. I understand. Please tell us about what you and your employees are going to do. Well. Employees. So we plan on building this like really big triangle thing. I'm not sure how well it's going to go. Yeah, yeah. But we're going to try to like make it look really big. Oh. You know. And we have no idea what we're going to do with it and what it's for. But we're going to build it. I get it now. What? I've never been like into the. He's an ancient Egypt guy. Yes. Yeah. You guys are catching on? And he was the guy.
Wait, so you're the guy who led the pyramid building and in his honor, they put his face on the rock. Well, no, I think he enslaved the people that built it. Really? I don't know if they were doing anything in his honor. Yeah, but I'm past the slavery stuff. I don't do that no more. Yeah, this guy tells me he was like, let my people go. And I was like, no. So then, you know, there's like some frogs and like, you know, a death angel and like a bunch of bad stuff. So like, you know, I ended up letting him go. I saw a mummy's toes once. Joe, how do you feel about this? You know...
No, I thought you're gonna talk about building a wall not a pyramid with those people Did Trump did Trump it's like people The guys with the faces no way we can put money
I'm just saying those guys are carved into rocks for a reason. No, what? No, yeah Girls know nothing about I don't know if he's on my right He has a statue in front of like one of the big buildings and watch a thing or something He freed the slaves I know like like like said that Abe was his best friend. He was like, yeah my friend Abe and
Wait. Oh, so that's... Yeah, Abraham Lee holds three of the slaves from this guy. Okay, so it's all clicking now. So Maverick's the guy who made his workers... Like the Texas Alamo. Build the pyramids. Or San Antonio Alamo. What? Nothing like the Alamo. The Texas Alamo.
You're just naming historical events, hoping you're right, but none of them have been close. I've never been into pyramid stuff. This is so interesting. Yeah. Yeah. You've never been into pyramid stuff? So you're talking about building a wall? You still haven't been, okay? No, but like, it's making sense now that Maverick's dressed up in front of me. I do like the pyramids. He does. We'd be into those. Guys, meet my people, y'all.
It's just something that's heavily laid on his heart. Wait! Weren't we going to take a trip out there? To Egypt? To go look at the pyramids. What if I just snuck in your suitcase? That would be so fun. You could fit in our suitcase. And you could probably fit in the little hole they have drilled in the pyramid. For the mommies? Wait.
Yeah. No. I am a mummy. They do have a crazy hole. There is a hole. There's like a 200 foot. You guys don't want to hear about it. Wait, what hole are we talking about here? They don't want to hear about it. They don't. No one's here to listen about the pyramids. Like, I love those things, but I know y'all don't want to hear about them, so. They're cool shapes. But I got a lot of details. It's a triangle, a pyramid, the same thing. Yeah. You know what else? Yeah, I actually built those at the exact coordinates of the speed of light, in case you're wondering. Oh, that's really great. Yeah, we figured it.
Moving on. I don't know how we did that. We measured the speed of light. Mavericks playing dress up this episode so we can move on now. Wait, do y'all... I'm actually... I have a dance competition after this. And that's what you're wearing? Oh my gosh. You have to wear a costume to enter. That's why you have that thing? You have to wear a costume to enter, yeah. You're Pharaoh in a dance competition. You better take off that cap. She's like an Egyptian and like, yeah, we're doing that. It'll be fun. Can you at least put a shirt on? Yeah, she will not like that. It didn't come with a shirt.
Didn't it come with a shirt? No. That's yucky. I have one, like, if you want one. I mean, do I need a shirt? Yeah, yeah. I would recommend having a shirt. I'll think about it. Yeah, before this episode, he was like, I have to flex for 45 minutes straight. I didn't say that. Are you still flexing? No. He definitely was. He definitely is. Uh-huh. I just saw him go like two inches higher. Go away. That was when he done flexing. That's not true. Yeah, when you see the 44-ounce milkshake poking through. Wait, what?
I literally can't poke it through. The other day, I came home, and there was that, you know Sonic? They have the 44-ounce drinks? Yeah. Mav had slurped down a 44-ounce ice cream. And an Icy that day. And an Icy. Are you trying to call me fat? I'm not obviously fat. Whoa! Sound like she's trying to call me fat. Are you calling it fat? Whoa!
Because that is unacceptable. Everybody, please leave hate comments right now. Yeah. Kate's making fun of me for eating ice cream. No, I'm just saying you ate an absurd amount of ice cream. Hey, hey, hey. Bro. And what is wrong with that? You were the one who said, yeah, no one should ever eat that amount of ice cream ever. I don't remember that. I don't. Me personally, I wouldn't judge people for what they eat. I know people go through hard times. And I know that sometimes stress eating is. Yeah, there's been a famine in the land for seven years. Okay.
Gotta eat what I can, okay? A phantom. She's just so lost. She has no idea what we're talking about. Sticking out your... You're so skibbity. You're so phantom tax. Sometimes I want to just like cancel the whole podcast and start one with me and you, bro. Wait, guys. Do you guys want to see a trick?
Oh, I know a crazy trick that you probably can't do. What? To keep your mouth shut. That's not a trick. Do you want to see my party trick? You already showed us that before. Yeah, I want to see your party trick. Oh, yeah. I want to see your party trick. Oh my gosh! What the fuck just happened? Oh my gosh! Crazy party trick, man!
I know we always make fat jokes, but I think we've been making them about the wrong person, man. Oh my god. You literally made the wall. I fell down the whole building. Dude, never in my life would I have imagined this little body. I just never would have pictured that little body causing that much destruction. Oh my gosh. One little jump. There is so much destruction. She broke a plan. How do you break a plan?
- That's a fake plant. - I don't know. - You tore a plant in half and you didn't even-- - I guess my rock solid-- - You didn't even touch it. That had to hurt though. - No. - That was actually crazy. - I kinda wanna see it again. Can you do it again? - I will in a minute. - No, don't. - I just have to-- - Well, can you do it again right now? - Yeah. - Wait, no, because now the other painting's gonna fall. - Let's see what all happens this time. Maybe that painting will fall down. - No, no, no, no, no, it's okay.
Oh, no you got it. Her before your mom was about to come up. Okay. Hey, she's gonna hear the thud. Oh my gosh. That looks like it hurts so bad. It doesn't. It really doesn't. At least the dinosaur stayed up. Yeah. Wow. We'll hang up that painting later. No, the thing is the first time I laid it straight down. The second time I kind of... Yeah, the first one was crazy. I'm not gonna lie. That's wild.
What are you doing? I'm just helping out. Mama, I did a party trick. You're really not. Yeah. And that's the reason our painting is on the floor. She, like, death dived at the floor. I mean, it was definitely a trick. I don't know if it was a party trick or not.
It might have been a little bit of an earthquake, but other than that. She's so proud of herself. She said, Mama, I did a party trick. No, but how's y'all's day been? Pretty good until my painting fell off the wall. Oh. Yeah, you know what's sad too? Me and Alex spent so much time hanging that painting up today. That was wild. Because I hid it down when I was behind the TV. Did you actually? I did. And it took us like 10 minutes to get it up there. Well, at least you. Listen to this. I'm going to pop her toes.
Never mind. Hey, Kate. I say we boycott that painting. I have a confession. Boycott it? Yeah, what? Today, I actually broke something on the house. Of course you did. Oh, he did! Oh, no, he didn't break something. Alex is saying no. No, no, no. You should know. It's already been fixed. Okay, but I like to say he didn't break something on the house. He broke the house. What? I broke a part of the house. And then we all start falling down. No, he broke the house. Maverick. Like, the house itself...
He broke it. Maverick? But I fixed it. What did you break? Well, so we were outside talking and you know how we have bricks on our house? Yeah. I ripped one off. What? I don't know. I just fidget with things and we were talking and all of a sudden this brick came off and I was like... Like a Jenga brick? Yeah, like a Jenga. No. Bro was trying to play a human-sized Jenga game. No, he was
see a brick fell off and made a conversation you're like man what the heck dude and then i was like man this is why i tell you stop fidgeting with things i'm gonna go get he yelled at me for a while he was pretty upset all right that's it i'm gonna go get some super glue no and we're gonna glue the brick back on and then while i'm gone guess what happened no me and alex why i'm gone guess what happened you came up with the idea to fix it that's not true you were just freaking out the whole time while i'm gone getting the stuff to fix the brick
He breaks the brick. I dropped the brick and cracked it in half. So then it was broken. Let me guess. Did you super glue it together and then put it back? Yeah. We glued the brick together and then we glued it to the house. Wait, y'all super glued a brick into our house. You'll never know what brick it is. But if a tornado comes in, we should maybe seek shelter because our bricks are not holding up. If the big bad wolf comes and blows our house, it's falling down. Stop touching things.
I'm a fidgeter, guys. It's bad. Next is the house. He's not a fidgeter. He's a breaker. I'm more of a fidgeter. He just breaks things. I do play with things until they break. He literally broke my car. He literally broke my candle. He peeled off the door handle of my car. He broke his ex-girlfriend's heart. Which one? I don't know. All of the above? That was kind of a good one. I'm not going to lie.
Hey, you guys are unbreakable, though. That is true. Oh, where's our paintings? Yo. Alex, can you grab our paintings? Found out today. Just randomly today. Oh, my gosh. Wait, I just got that. Wait, I think he's going to sad about my comment. Literally every joke we say, you guys get it like five minutes later. Yeah, I just got it. That's a cute joke. But today was an interesting day. We got a gift. And we found out that Cash and Kate are unbreakable. We are, apparently. And we're going to put that to the test. Yeah, we're like...
No! Huh? No, I will not let you do that. I'm not gonna do that. But I'm gonna put y'all to the test. What is that supposed to mean? Break the painting? I have some questions. Well, this should be good news. Can we start with the questions now? Yeah. Well, first they gotta see this. No, no, no. First they gotta see this. Let's see the art first. So, one of our supporters made us art.
And it's actually the first fan art I've ever gotten. Here's Harper's. Oh, thanks. Okay. The note says... This is cute. The note says, Harper, Maverick, Kate, and Cash. I heart Harper. I'm speaking. Harper, Maverick, Kate, and Cash. I heart watching you guys on YouTube. Natalie... Oh, this has her school on it. Just blur it out. Can we... No, it says like her elementary school. She's in third grade. Oh. And I was like holding the sign up. Just go.
Anyways, Natalie. It's upside down. Made us a painting. And it's so cute. And it says, I don't know if you can read it, but it says Cash and Kate. And then there's a heart. And the heart says unbreakable because Cash and I are like this. You really think this is unbreakable? No. Let me see. No, Cash. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But okay, Mav wanted to. Do you know what mine says? YouTube Harper.
I really like it. It's very cute. That's cute. I'm going to hang it on the outside of my door. What's our questions to see if we are unbreakable? So this question I think is going to be a really... Wait. I think... I mean, I already know the answer. Can I see it? But I think it might break Kate's heart. Oh, heart? Let's see if we are unbreakable. Am I really unbreakable? So...
If. Why am I nervous? Wait, wait, wait. And this is a game of unbreakable. Let's see if Cash and Kate will be break. Why are you holding a fake mic when you got a real mic? Will be broken today. Let's take a look. So, Cash, if you had to choose to be with one person the rest of your life. Because I live here too. Like if Kate said Maverick has to move out.
Would you tell her to leave or would you make me leave? Wait, so you're saying only one of you can live in the house? Yeah. And by the way, love does not require blood. It requires love. That's so inspirational. I like what she said, I think. No, I mean, family doesn't require blood. It requires love. Oh. So you have to watch out for that. Okay. I call it the door man.
choose so your question is if i had to live here with one of you who would it be well like yeah kate said it's me or mav who you picking i mean she does stuff for me that you just can't do so it's like she cooks she cleans yeah like you're not you know you're not doing none of that for me if anything you make my life harder by like tearing apart the house and doing she like cooks and cleans and like and she tells you what you think takes care of me and like
But, like, you just kind of make a mess. But I've been there, like, since you were born, you know? Yeah. Every day. Of every hour. You have. I helped you learn to walk. Where would you be without me? You probably pushed me down when I was learning how to walk. Wait, where would you be without me? Same place. Really? So, yeah, I'm faking. She literally came in the picture, like, two years ago. Me? Yeah.
What math are you mathing? Bro. He's doing boy math, not girl math. That was a bad, unbreakable question. You pretty much just said, like, do you like your wife over me? Well, that's a little harsh. Wow. You got another one, maybe? Like...
Well, I didn't expect to really get past that one, to be honest. Wait, why did my toes hurt? He didn't plan that far in advance. I thought this would be a little bit long conversation between y'all two. Oh, Matt was such an instigator. And we're going to go on a blind date. No, Matt was like, I don't know why you would think I would choose you. I don't know either. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Oh, I know what you're saying. Yeah. What is that supposed to mean? Just, I know things that you don't know, Kate. Okay.
Why are you blinking at him like that? He's just blinking. Don't think too much into it. Oh my gosh. You know what I just saw? He said, but, or no, I like Kate. What the? No, he said, I like Kate better than Wink to Maverick. First of all, that did not happen. It did. She lied. Why are you shaking your head yes? Like, yes, that happened, or no, that didn't happen? It did happen. I'm sorry. Wow. And they're broken, just like that. See, I knew it.
They were unbreakable. I knew it. Is your heart broken into pieces? Shattered. That was a really fun game, guys. I'm really glad we played. So I think to confirm that it's over. No, you don't get stuff because you fiddle with it. Would you? So is it me or Maverick if you had to live with one of us? Because you never actually answered. My Xbox. That's crazy. I would go with Maverick too. That's not a choice. No, I'm kidding.
Have you seen those crazy parents that break their kids' Xboxes? What'd you say? Those crazy parents that break their kids' Xboxes. Yeah. You know those are fake, right? I wasn't going to tell her, but you said it, not me. Some of them are fake. Guys, remember like five minutes ago when Harper caused our house to shake? I do. I tried to lose some pounds before that. You did?
Wait, do you guys want to see something really cool? No, no, no, no. No one wants to see nothing cool. Trust me, you want to see this. Trust me. It's not as cool as what I can do. What can you do? I'll show you after. Blow out, after what? After I do my trick? Can you do it?
What? Cash does it better. What? Big summer blubber. Big summer blubber. What? Yo, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's see this. Okay. Wait. Is this going to break anything? This is my normal body. Now this is my skinny body. Oh. Wow. It's ribs. You know what Smeagol is? What is Smeagol? Smeagol.
My branches! My branches! What is Smeagol? So, did y'all like that trick? I'm just dead. Just look up Smeagol. But you know what's crazy is that it had to do with my thing. My thing was this. Oh, perfect. Oh! Oh. Hey, you ever seen those belly dancers at the Renaissance Fair? That's you. You think I could be an Egyptian belly dancer with you? Hey, speaking of which, of dancing, I was thinking about trying ballet. Okay.
What the? Why would you try ballet? Honestly, just for the story. This girl is like a professional ballet dancer. She was like, you should come try ballet. I said no. And I was like, wait. Wait a second. I should do that for Snapchat. So I think I'm going to go try ballet. That was a really fun story. Today, my daughter's day wish. Do you have to wear leggings? I don't know. That's probably a good question. If you wear leggings, bro...
Unfortunately, I don't know if you can come back in the house. Well, I told her you'd come too. Wow. I'm not coming. I'm definitely not coming. Me? Me and you. Me personally, I ain't a ballerina dancer. You know what I'm saying? A ballerina dancer. You know what I'm saying? Today, Maunder Salish will be attempting the world's most craziest stunt.
Is that Jordan Matters? Yes. I watch him every day. Really? Yeah. Every morning. No, yeah. Every morning of the day. What's on the TV? Oh, Smeagol. Boy! That's you. My face, my body. Okay, well, maybe not my body. He's a little skinnier. But my toes, maybe they're the same. Oh, those are some toes. Of all things, why the toes? I don't know.
But today, my daughter Salish... Okay. So, the joke is gone now. Okay. Anyways. So, what were you going to say about Jordan Matters? Me? Yeah. Oh, I just... I just didn't know you knew that. What are you doing? Are we hanging up a new painting? Oh, that's great. We got a new painting in the house. I like it. Thank you, Natalie. It's better than the... Out with the old, in with the new. Yep. You guys...
I didn't want to bring this up. What? Ugh. I'm excited. I'm excited. What is it? No, you shouldn't. Actually, none of... I don't like these. Guys, I'm nervous. None of you should be excited. Yeah, I'm about to... Because I was surfing... Why shouldn't we be excited? Did Kate cook? I'm kidding. Not again. I was surfing the internet. You know, surfing the web. That's dangerous. Or what? And then I stumbled across famous birthdays. You know, as one does. Oh.
And then the good news is... What is... He's like trying to be slick about it, but he's like, hey, over here. What time are we at? Hey, you. Hey.
No, he's like... Like, stops the whole show. I didn't stop the whole show. Why not? Continue with whatever we're doing. Yeah, famous birthdays. What were you saying? Okay, anyways... Wait, are we going on famous birthdays? No, I stumbled across famous... They did invite us, didn't they? I stumbled across famous birthdays. And the good news is... Get your foot out of my face, bro. Wait, if they see me, invite me. I, uh...
I look at their podcasts, and good news is we were the number one podcast on Famous Birthdays. Oh, let's go. Bravo, guys. Go boost us. Out of all the podcasts, we were number one. I haven't boosted. Bad news for you guys. I know. Terrible news for me. Is that you ranked the hosts? Terrible news for me. And I was the top. Who's second? Not me, that's for sure. I don't believe you were the top. I really don't. I'll pull it up right now. I'm second, right? Yeah.
Uh, were you second? Wait, can we guess? Because I think I know. Cash, Harper, Maverick, me. Yes, I'm second. I don't think that. I'm always second. I absolutely think that. Just like my poop. Let's see. Oh my gosh, it's Katy Perry's birthday. Happy birthday, Katy Perry. Happy birthday, Katy. What are you talking about, Harper? Nothing. Podcast. See, we're number one. Podcast. Okay, yeah. First is me. Second is Harper.
Third is Maverick. And fourth is Kate. I don't believe those stats. A, at least. I don't believe those stats at all. I see my picture. Why do you think the order should be? Well, it's definitely Harper first. What?
I'm the most irrelevant. He's just salty. No. Because I beat him. Guys, I'm the only one who's... I thought he was going to say Ryan. He said, it should be Harper and then probably me second to make him sound humble. Maybe. I mean, possibly. This is so sad. I don't know. Cash is number 44 most popular on famous birthdays. I used to be number four. Harper is number 102. Maverick is number 112. Now, no. Oh, poor Maverick. Poor Maverick. Yeah. I'm not even going to tell you all my rankings. Tell me. What's your ranking?
Please tell me you're in the top 200. What would make you think I'm not in the top? I'm number 464. Oh, that is a big drop. Wait, wait, wait. What are those numbers out of, though? Like everyone on Famous? It's out of people that boost you. I'm boosting myself. We're in top hundreds, bro. Hey, go boost me. Please go boost me every day. Boost me? Are you kidding me?
Look at him begging. Look at him begging. I'm the top. I don't got to beg. You know what I'm saying? I mean, I have to beg. It went from 112 to 464. I used to be out of teenagers at number 14. I used to be number four overall. Bottom of the barrel. Hey, I have gone up. Remember we checked like recently and I was at like 6,000 or something. I was down there. You were in the thousands? Yeah, actually this is the highest I've ever seen myself.
Yeah, it's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed to be in the 100th spot. Oh. Well, good news for me. I only have two digits. Wait, did Harper have two digits? No, she was 102. But after this episode, they're going to boost her enough to where she goes up to double digits. It'll take me a while to get to double digits. Wait, who's the most famous person on there? Mr. Beast? I don't know. Donald Trump? Joe? It's usually kids. No, I think right now it's Taylor Swift.
That's who it is. Makes sense. Let's see. Who's number two? Maybe I can get my way up there. Can y'all believe Christmas is coming up? Christmas! Harper, do you still believe in Santa? Uh, why not? Yeah, duh. Oh. Wait. Just asking. What do you mean? Santa's still real. This is a bad topic. Santa is still real. This is a bad topic. No. No, no, no. I believe in Santa. I was just checking. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I remember when I was in second grade, people tried to convince me. You're a woman!
Wow. Oh, Taylor Swift is number one right now. I was just setting up the question because my next question was... Fearless. Speak now. Can y'all stop singing for just a second? 1989. Reputation. Folklore. Evermore. And that's all. When did Santa fire you? When did Santa... That was actually funny. That was my question. But y'all wouldn't let me freaking get to it. Uh-oh.
Yeah, because what the heck is that? Yo, yo, yo, yo. She's swinging. She's swinging.
I think that's an appropriate response. Yeah, that's my toy. That's why he fired her. You asked why. Did you elf rage all the time? That's one of my last toys I made in the factory, so I decided to use it. Did you do elf anger management? No. Did you guys ever see, what's it called? If you don't stop, I'm going to put you on a shelf, call you elf on the shelf. Wait, okay, what are these rankings, Lowkey? Taylor Swift is number one, obviously. Charli D'Amelio is number two. Bro. You're still on Famous for a Day. No, no, no, listen, listen. You're not ever getting there.
Ariana Grande is three. Jules LeBlanc is four. Mr. Beast is five. Who's Jules on the block? Okay, while you're reading these rankings. Yeah, I don't know who that was. Because Mr. Beast is obviously... Number two. Yeah, I feel like Mr. Beast is number two. Who's number five? Mr. Beast. Oh, six? Piper Rocco. What? Wait, why am I not number six? You did call her out. This is really awkward. So... Spina. Who's seven? Seven.
I don't know. Piper still isn't responding to you calling her out. I know. Harper, if you had to use a pickup line, what would it be? Does anyone have any pickup lines? Oh, are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only $10 to you or, Oh, are you butter? Cause you're the biscuit. That's so catchy. Are you butter? Cause you're the biscuit. I am butter. Oh,
- I am better 'cause I'll slip right into your DMs. - Oh, yeah. - No! - Yeah, yeah. - I am good at that. - That's a good one. - Yeah, that's good. - I'm good at that. - Let me pick one. - You gave me a heart attack. That's good. Okay, Cash, anything else? - Are you prime? 'Cause you give me full pride in my heart. - Cash, I'm here. I'm here. I'm good. - Okay, listen.
I think I do actually. Get your foot out of my face. Did it hurt when you fell? Oh wow, from heaven? Yeah, that's a good one. No, I was gonna say when you fell out of the airplane. Because someone pushed you out the window. Did you have to skydive? Did it hurt your feelings when they had to stop the airplane for you to onboard because it wouldn't take off? That was equivalent to your joke. Wait, what was his joke?
Does it hurt your feelings when every time you get on, you have to pay an extra $50 because you're an oversized load? No way. Too far, too far. Come on now. What do you mean? She just called me dumb last episode and ugly. Wait, no.
First of all... That might have been an oversized love with your arm. We both just said... We said... Wait, what'd you say? Like, her arm, like, oversized love. Oh, yeah. She's not gonna hang over. She doesn't even know where she's going. No, first of all, I didn't call him ugly. Cash and I both collectively agreed that we were gonna purposely make clips to see who got the most hate. Yeah, but it started because one of y'all called me ugly. Yeah, they weren't actually that. I'm your wife. I don't think you're ugly. But people only watch our clips. What? That is not true. What?
Bella Porch? Is that you? No. M to the B. M to the B. M, M, M, M, M to the B. Wait, why is Bella Porch not up there on famous birthdays? Because she fell off. No, she didn't. Did she? She fell. Maybe she did. I don't know. Do you have a crush on her? Wait, is Bella Porch of age? Wait, why do you want to know? Oh. Like, you're underage. No. You're also female. Wait, who? Who?
I just want to know why you're asking the question. Did he know? We're already moved on. In bio, if your chromosome is a Y, then you're a guy. And if it's an X, then you're a woman. So that's my lesson. So like me and you, we have two X chromosomes. Yeah, we have two X chromosomes. What about if you have XY? Then you're a guy. What about if you got YY? You can't.
Then you would be dead. You would be dead. YY is just not a chromosome. Wait, hold up. Girls are XX and guys are XY, but there's no YY? Cash, I think it's just random letters they gave you. YY is like you don't like, you're dead. YY is definitely fake. Yeah, no, so like XX. If you're born with two Ys, then you're like a major guy. XY. XX.
Y'all say something? Literally, that didn't answer my question at all. I said, why isn't there a YY? Because that's not a chromosome match. Jesus said, let there no be YY chromosome match. But we can have X's and Y's. I read the Bible. That ain't in there. Thou shall not have YY chromosomes. No, wait. Did you actually read the whole Bible?
I mean, I haven't read Chronicles and stuff. You're a pharaoh. You're supposed to know it all. What do you mean? Bro, get into character. I don't know the Bible at all. It hasn't been wrote yet. Oh, okay. That makes sense. I get it. What's that? I understand that one. I'm actually a star in the Bible. I'm not going to lie. I've got my own section. Chronicles? Wait. The pyramids were Bible time? No. No.
They were building pyramids in the Bible? Nah. For sure. Nah. Yeah, for sure. Nah. For sure, dog. It's like definitely around that time. I mean, they were, I mean, Egyptians building those things for sure. I don't have time for all this. What are you going to do? I hope you know CPR because you just took my breath away. Did you just Google that? Are you really looking them up? Are you still on those? Wow.
Wow, that was fantastic. Meet me over here. Hey, yo. I ought to complain. I don't know if we should talk about this or not, but I don't know what to talk about, so I'm going to bring it up. Be careful. Don't break it. The other day, we can cut this if we need to. The other day. Oh, that's a great way to start the sentence, man. No, no, no. I don't think we'll need to cut it. Yo, it's going to rain. I'm going to sleep great tonight. We may not cut it, but we may not be able to put the video in that I want to put in.
So the other day, it's like 3 a.m., and my parents own some properties, and one of their properties was getting broken into down the street. What? Yeah. That's crazy. And so it's 3 a.m., they pull up, and they're like, my dad decides to go full commando mode, puts on his bulletproof vest, grabs a very large Nerf blaster. Bro, Nerf blaster? And he got a flashlight on it, and he's over there, and he's like, and it's on video, it's on film, and he's like,
Get down! Get down on the ground! And these people are freaking out and they get on their knees and my dad's behind them and they got their hands on him and he kicks them. They're literally like this. And then my dad just kicks them both to the ground. He kicks them both to the ground and then he calls the cops and holds them at blaster point. Your dad's kind of crazy. That's like good. Yeah, he holds them at blaster point for like 20 minutes and then...
The guy, while he's on the ground, calls the cops on himself and says, there's a guy holding me at a blaster point. Please come help me. No, he called the cops on himself. Yeah. The cops show up and took him to jail. They're like, what? Because he broke into their property. It's crazy. But the guy, what's even weirder is it was a 40-year-old guy breaking in there and a 17-year-old girl. Okay, obviously, we know...
What was happening? It was a weird place to be. It was out in the middle of the country. Yeah. It is in the middle of the country these days. Bro. Mav, I know this is your doing. Are you looking at the Coke thing? Yes. What thing? There's a freaking Coke. We shot yesterday or whatever. No, we shot like a couple days ago. And I saw that when we were filming and I said, okay. There was a lot going on that day. But you've watched that? You've watched that?
Countless I was gone from 7 a.m.. Yesterday to 11:00 at night Well, that is your crop that is what my pet peeves about math He will literally set any drink just dead middle of the floor like it can be a 44 ounce root No, not like a bottle. Can I have it back actually it'll be like a 44 ounce. I'm thirsty No, it'd be like a huge drink with just no lid and he sets it in the middle of the floor And when you knock it over, he's like dude you knocked over my cup
And that's like, that would ruin our carpet. Like a soccer ball. Wait, I have a question. Do you like care about this house that we bought? Because like that, that kind of stuff, that's going to ruin. I don't think so because he's pulling off the brick. That's not going to ruin anything. That's going to stain the carpet. How on earth would that stain the carpet? Do you see? Do you see?
He is so delusional. He knows that will stain the carpet. But because I'm saying it's going to stain the carpet, he's like, no, no, it's not going to stain the carpet. What do you mean? Listen here, Sonny. That is not going to stain the carpet. Sonny, that black drink. If it got spilled, sure. You're Moony. Okay, he's a pharaoh. His heart is hardened. My heart has been hardened. Okay, wait, hold on. Wait. What are the words that are coming out of your mouth right now? His heart has been hardened. You're saying that that drink will not stain the carpet. Let my people drink.
Wait, no, I don't say that line. I don't know what my line is, to be honest. Wait, to break the subject, do you think if I throw this in, I flip it a million times, will it land? I'm not having kids if they're going to act like that. If that landed, it'll be cool. Try it one time. Everybody gets one shot. I'm going to restart my shot, though. Oh! That doesn't count because you did take two shots. You did take two. All right, Kate, here's your shot. What the...
And she says I'm bad for the house? She's just chunking things in drywall. Okay, here we go. Well, I'm the only good one at that. You got my drink! Y'all want to see a great picture I got? What can you do with your... My cash always gets so mad at me because I use my feet to pick stuff up all the time. I didn't like any of that sense. That just happened. Check out this picture I got, guys. Let me flip this on my feet. Look at this. Harper's a tablet kid.
I'm not. I was doing my homework like a good girl. She is a straight up tablet kid. I was doing my homework like a good girl. With a stylus and everything. And she was doing algebra. It's an Apple pencil. Yeah, tablet kids don't voluntarily do math homework. Yeah. No, but she's still a tablet kid because every time we end the pod, she goes over there in her beanbag and she watches YouTube and plays Farmville. It's Gardenscapes. That is true. It's Gardenscapes. Oh. Gardenscapes is the same thing. Same thing, different shape. Wait, ready? Three, two, one. I'm going to have to take everything from you because you keep fidgeting.
Oh. Oh! What are you doing? Oh, the grippers are out! What are you doing? Ew! I can't pick it up. I can't pick it up with just one foot, but usually I can. Normally she can pick some crazy stuff up. Yeah, like, let's see. Like credit cards? Oh, absolutely. There's no chance you can pick a credit card. I can 100% carry it on your feet. Anyone got a credit card? There ain't no way you can pick up a credit card. No, but let's see. Here. Alex, there's some junk over there. You want to just put it on the floor for me to grab? What? What?
Dang, I should have painted my grippers today. Here you go. Oh yeah, pick that up. Oh, that was pretty good. Oh, that's so gross. Okay, that's easier, but... Okay, she's doing it all very... It's so quick, though. Okay, here. Oh. There's no chance. What do you mean there's no chance? Oh! Oh! It's such a... Wait, I think I got it. That's so disturbing. I don't like it at all. Please stop. Oh, my gosh.
Why don't you just go in the hole? It was like baby hands. My toe won't fit. No, just put your toe in the hole. Just stop trying to fit your toe in things. What's next? That's like actually gross. What do you mean? If a girl did that, I would break up with her right there. It's so bad. Ain't no way. The first time I did it, you want to see the first time I did it in front of Cash? Okay, first of all. You have it on video? No. I'm going to reenact it. Try your Stanley dupe. Oh, 100%.
Oh, are you gonna give it- don't. No. Give yourself a sip of water. No. That's so- like, that's cool! That's vile! That is vile! That is not okay!
No, I'm going to reenact the first time I did it in front of Cash. Yeah, it was pretty icky, not going to lie. So that's a piece of laundry on our bedroom floor. And poor little me is just sitting there, minding my own business, and this is what I see. Kate walks by and she does this right here. That's so lazy. Yeah, right? That's cool. But she didn't do it how she normally did. She normally grabs it and it flies up.
Show them how you really be. Yeah, she does it fast like that. Whoa! And she walks around the room and she just picks things up like... That's some serious talent if you ask me. Like a little excavator. Like she does that. She walks around the room and picks them up like that. Like that's just inefficient. Yeah, you should have just bent down. That's crazy. Not the phone. My gosh.
That's cool. So that's my party trick. It's not gross if you're in your own V. You're saying gross, but like work smarter, not harder. Okay, our face is not
Because it's the same skin. I've literally witnessed her eat with her feet. Yeah, I did want... With a fork. I wanted to test my limits. I wanted to see if I could pick my food up with my fork and eat, and I could. Really? Barely. But it's still pretty gross. Wait, do you guys have any food? Yeah. I could probably do it. What, like eat food? Yeah. Do you guys think...
I don't ever want to see that. That was so gross. I like just hit him. What if my toes like squished chicken and then I ate it? That did not happen.
What? Do you guys think baths are gross? Baths? No, they created coronavirus. What? You're right. No, no, baths. Oh, I thought you meant baths in a cave. No, no, no, like B-A-T-H. Okay, here's my thing. Baths are acceptable, but you do have to... I take baths every night. You have to take a shower to wash the grimy off you, and then you can get in the bath. Grimy? Yeah. What's that? The bath's got to be, like, cleaned, too. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. I do that so backwards. I take the bath and then the shower.
Okay, actually, you're right. Just because... But, like, you can't just take a bath and then just stop there. Yeah. I don't want to sit in the bath in my own filth. You have to shower first. No, no, no, no, no. No, you sit in the bath, you wash your body, all that, you wash your hair, and then you get out. You wash your body in the bath? Why are you washing yourself in a bath? That's what you do. And then you're just gonna sit in the dirty water? You take a loofah, you shave your legs, then you put conditioner on your face. You mean you're in self-care in the bathroom? Or in the bath? Uh, duh. Uh, no. Isn't that what everybody does? You take a bath...
And then you drain the bath after you're done. And then because you're like all hot and sweaty. That's what takes all the water. Then you take a shower. Yeah. And then you're done. Yeah. No, that's true. If you take a shower and then a bath, then you're going to be hot and sweaty. And then you're going to feel like you should shower again. Yeah. That's facts. No, you know what I do? Why are you looking at me like that? I don't know. I feel like this podcast is like. He probably takes too many baths.
I feel like it's time. Oh my gosh. No, no, no. You don't even know what I'm going to say. I do. I think it's time. I feel like we need a guys only podcast. Like one episode. What about a girls only? Yeah. Because I don't like talking about baths and stuff. It's just not my vibe. Okay, okay. Comment down below guys. You were going to ask. No, I didn't. Do you pee sitting down? He did.
So we're going to... He's sitting down. He's sitting down. I'm not going to lie. He does. In my own house, in my own bathroom. Yes. Yes, I do. And you know why? You know why?
Because it is not clean to do it like that. For like, I mean, that's like a couple feet to impact. And then there's like small splat. Like it's just not safe in your own house. You can't aim? No, even if you aim, it's still going to like. Dude, I'm telling you, sitting down in your own house, that's weird. Oh, if I'm in someone else's house, 100%. 100%. I'm standing. I don't like talking about this. I do. Moving on. Maverick was just talking about this.
we're just talking about we need a guys only podcast that's what I was gonna ask no I've peed standing up should we do one guys only podcast and one girls only podcast but wait comment down below which one you guys want to see first y'all know for sure an all guys or an all girls for sure y'all know 100% I don't even have to say it because y'all know statistically an all girls podcast would perform way better than an all men me, Cash, and Joe
Or Kate, Cash, and Harper. Okay, yeah. So me and Maverick, but we replaced you two. He missed that. Or what happened? I said me, Alex, and Joe, or Cash, Kate, and Harper. Oh, yeah. It's very funny. You called me a girl. Yeah, yeah. And she said you have two exes. Yeah, I really did. Yeah, you said I got two exes. That's what you said. I said he got two ex chromosomes. Me personally, I'm a YY chromosome type of guy.
Yeah, we know. You'd be dead. No, I wouldn't. I'd be extra manly. Okay. And we could, it could be me and Mav, and then we have two guys, or you two, and then we can replace you guys with like two girls and get two other girls in the pod.
Comment down below which one you guys would rather see first. Y'all know 100%. Comment down below. Y'all already know. Comment team boys or team girls. Team girls. And then which everyone gets the most comments. What are y'all even going to talk about on all guys' podcasts? Which everyone gets the most comments, we'll do next. It'll be so funny. Our podcast will be the most funny podcast y'all have ever watched. Yeah, but think about our audience. Think about me and Cash on 10. Because you add one guy, it's 10x. But think about it. I'm the funniest one on the pod. He's second funniest. Wait, what? And then there's you two. So I'm in like...
I'm the second funniest I'm the first funniest As you call yourself funny you're not funny Yeah you call yourself funny Matt did I call myself funny? No he's the funniest Or you guys can listen to I think you're funny huh? Wait who would you say is the funniest on this podcast? You I told you I have Gen Z humor You want to have a funny off? Say a joke How about you say a joke your life is a joke
Yeah, so that's what you guys will get if it's a girl's podcast. Hey, if that's the case, you married a joke. Like, that's on you. Let's have a roast off. Wait, before we get into a roast off. You start. No, you start. Before we get into a roast off. Yeah. We didn't even get to say. You guys would just make jokes the whole time on a boy's podcast. Well, you look like a burnt chicken nugget. Why do you guys make so many noises? Wait, a burnt chicken nugget. That's the best you got. Yeah, let me see what you got.
Take it easy, Cash. Take it easy. Easy, Cash. Oh, I had a lot. She's only 14. I had him in the chamber, but I was like, oh, probably shouldn't say that one. Probably shouldn't say that one. Because you don't have any. Okay. Oh, no, he's got some. Let me see. You have to take a while to guess. You look like Ed Sheeran in Lightning McQueen Had a Baby. That's not nice. I don't like that. That's not nice. You know what you look like? It's a roast off. Well, you can still be nice in a roast off. You look like a gnome.
No, no like a garden. No yes, like you know the ones that get kicked over on accident. Yeah, I think I think Listen like please everyone's just touching everything. It's not even me today No cuz it's a sticker is this a ASMR ha ha no listen I
Sure. Is it sad? All right, guys. No, no, hold on. I want Harper to give me a good roast. Give me a second. Were you born on the highway because you're just an accident? That's what I thought. Because he was an accident. Yeah. He's the extra child in case something happened to me. Yeah, were you born on the highway because you were born in an accident, son?
Cash, I don't believe that. She's growling on me. She's growling on me. Hey, hey, guess what? Guess what? You don't have any because you're looking them up on your Android, son. Son.
Wait, I'm so confused. Because what happened to the beef between Maverick and Harper? It's like, Loki has done a full 180 to Cash. I feel like the last few episodes it's been Cash and Harper beefing. What if Meme can't have beef next? That wouldn't be fun. Harper, I promise you, I am more funny than you. Okay? So where's your rose? And if you think you're more funny... Guys, who's more funny, me or Harper? Which one? I mean, not funny looking. We obviously know who's more funny looking.
But who's more funny? Man stretching. So that's the rocking horse and that's Harper. Yeah. Do you see it talking? That's what I thought. Who's more funnier? Oh, you're Harper. Who's more funnier, Kate, me or Cash? That's what I thought. Why are you laughing at that one? Because there's just that funny. Okay. This is not even, this is so bad. Okay, I was trying to, I feel like mine was better. I'm getting my first cold.
Should I answer? Who is it? It's my sister. Answer. No. Yeah, we're actually filming right now. What's up? We're actually wrapping up. Yeah, we're wrapping up. All right, guys. We'll see you guys next time. Thank you so much for watching this episode. Wait, can we do the peace out, bro, with our toes? Give me two seconds. Peace, peace out, bro. Shaka. All right, we'll see you guys next time. Bye. Bye.
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