Toxic Halloween Candy!
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Okay, I have so much to tell y'all about this. So much. About what? Just wait. Who can fit the most Tootsie Rolls in their mouth? Who do y'all think is going to win? Me. I don't feel good. What was that? That came up. I don't feel good. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Once upon a time, there was the best podcast in the world. And you're watching it right now. Welcome back to another episode. Hey guys. Why is Matt the only one clapping? Yeah, why didn't y'all clap for him? Thanks guys. Yay.

Thank you. Thank you. Your star host, Cash Baker, most popular host here. I don't know about that. Welcome to you. Obviously, it's me. Listen, who picked out these costumes? Because I'm not happy with my hot dog costume. I'm very angry. You're not angry. Look at me. What are you? Look at me. What even are you? You're mad you're a hot dog? Yeah, what are you? A donut? I'm confused what you're supposed to be. Are you a donut hole? No, I'm not a donut hole. Are you a tire? Yeah. No, I'm not a tire. You guys don't know what I am. Are you a marble? Wait.

He's a cereal bowl because there's a spoon going in his mouth. Oh, cereal bowl. Yeah. I'm confused. I'm not a cereal bowl. What are you? Cereal bowl? You guys really don't know what I am? No. Okay, she's Rapunzel. So what am I? A rock? Flynn Rider? Definitely not.

I'm the pan. You're the pan? I'm a frying pan. Oh. You don't get it? I get it now. Because when I said, hey, let's be Rapunzel and Flynn Rider, he said, I don't want to be Flynn Rider. I said, okay, you can be the frying pan then. So now I'm the frying pan. Ooh. Okay. Wow. That's an interesting costume idea. Yeah. Okay, at least I'm not a hot dog. All I know is I didn't pick out my costume. Yeah, me neither. I actually... Yeah, you did pick out your costume. No. Yeah, you did. No. Harper was like, I want to be a Ninja Turtle. No.

I never said that. I said I wanted to be a minion and then there's no minions. You would make a great minion. Actually, she said, I want to be a teenage Mew and Ninja Turtle, but it looks like you're just a toddler Ninja Turtle. What?

Okay, well, look at the feet, though. Also, do y'all notice anything different about me today? Yeah, you got a lot of makeup on. What? What? You have a spray tan. Oh, wait. Yes. Oh, I thought that's why you were tan, was the makeup. You got a lot of makeup on, too. Hey, hey, hey. Yeah. I thought that's why you were tan, was the makeup. No. Oh, okay, well, that's what I was trying to say. It was spray tan, actually. That sounded rude now that I think about it. I got a lot of makeup on. But no, I meant like you're darker. No, no, there's actually something different with my feet.

Oh. Yeah, I mean you look like a turtle. They got matching socks. Your feet look like turtles too. Matching socks. Yes. Finally. Wow. Let's go. Okay. Why do you not like your outfit? You literally are a Disney princess. No, I think you look really pretty actually. You're a Disney princess. Liar. Like listen, I get why Matt doesn't want to be a hot dog. I'd rather be a hot dog. Yeah. You'd rather be a hot dog? I'd rather be the hot dog. Your wife's calling me a hot dog. Yeah, why are you calling him hot dog?

Okay. You just called me a hot dog. Okay. Like, you're hot, dog. I think you're hot, dog. Thanks, dog. That's just not what came out of my mouth. Anyways. You said something like that. Bro. Okay, why don't you want to be a Disney princess? That's like every girl's dream. I'm fine with being Rapunzel, but this wig I got, it wouldn't brush out. Party City on this wig. It was not a success. I took it out of the box and it was matted immediately. So you're mad just about the wig? I am. Can I take it off now? No. Why do you want it?

Listen, if anybody should be begging to take off a costume, it should be me. Or me. Or me. No one likes their costume. Yeah, mine's hot. I'm kind of burning up in this thing. Harper. I can't really turn my head. My face is kind of stuck here. I wanted to save this until I could show Harper on the podcast, but yesterday... I'm scared. I was out shopping. What? Sorry, I looked at Maverick again. Wait a second. I was out shopping.

What do you mean you looked at me again? I was out shopping and I called Mav and I was like, Maverick, I'm buying you your costume for the podcast. Do you want to be the hot dog or the pizza? He said, I already have a costume. Which I did. And I said, what's your costume? And he goes, I'm Mario. Yeah. Oh, that was a bad Mario outfit. The picture he sent me, I dropped to the floor in Target and I laughed. I can't help

This is one of the worst Mario outfits somebody could possibly... Actually, no, I take that back. This is one of the worst Halloween outfits somebody could be. Go ahead and slide down. I was being Mario for a dance competition, so it wasn't for a Halloween thing. It was just the picture he sent me of his costume. I was like... It's bad. It's not that bad. Let me see. I think it's pretty good. It's very bad. All right, pop this up on the screen so everyone else can enjoy this. I thought it was fine. You look so ugly in that. No! That's not what I meant. I just thought it was a cringy picture. Ew!

That is horrible. Wow. Really look at him posing too. What? I'm just taking a picture. I don't want to look anymore. Oh my gosh. Why has Mario got a belt buckle on? Yeah, what is that? Because it was for a dance competition. And you dressed up as Mario for a dance competition? Everyone's dressing up for it. Mario's supposed to be like, wee hee hee.

Mine. My Mario. Yeah. Not like my Mario. I can't. I don't like this costume. I literally can't even look at y'all. I can't move my head. Well, I got strands of hair. Okay, no one's taking off their costumes, guys. Oh, I'm taking my costume off. No, don't take it off. No. I want to be Mario. No. You can't be Mario. You're already the hot dog. It's hot, guys. This thing's burning up. Okay. It's coming off. Mev.

It's this or Mario. Rock, paper, scissors. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Dude, I win. You can't just go beat Mario. He has it on under his elbow. He's actually so lame. Has he already been prepared for this? He brought Mario with him.

I'm having secondhand embarrassment. Secondhand embarrassment? How did we not notice he was wearing Mario under his outfit? I was like, why is he wearing jeans with a hot dog? I'm having very secondhand embarrassment. You are literally dressed as a turtle. Yeah. A toddler turtle. A nice turtle. Oh, yeah? You guys like our logo? I love it! I noticed that the first time. Well, if Maverick can take his off, can I take my wig off? Do you have another costume? Fine, take it off. You can take it off if you wear the hot dog costume.

I'm just so confused because I'm the only one that should be begging to take off a costume. Guys, I literally, you know when you're a little girl and you're like, oh, mom, can I please have a Barbie doll? I just want a Barbie doll. And your mom is like, Barbie dolls are too expensive. I'll go to the dollar store and I'll get you one of the Barbie dolls there. I'm what she comes back with. I'm the dollar store Barbie. I'm just like a dollar store Barbie. Like that's what I look like right now. You kind of do look like dollar store Barbie. Yeah. I'll give you five and below.

Yeah, five is so sweet. I'm taking grass hill Barbie. I actually paid someone to take me away from them. Yeah, you're actually from the dump. This is Barbie that someone threw away. Yeah, that's how I feel right now. And I feel it. Dump Barbie. Yep. I could be dumpy Barbie. Or what's even worse. I don't even know what you're doing. I'm trash can Barbie. I was thinking you could be daycare Barbie. That one's been through it. Oh.

Daycare Barbie. Oh, man. Where all the kids cut her hair. And spit. Is this an actual Barbie? And bang her head on the ground. Okay, cash is lost. That's an actual Barbie? No, it's just like every daycare. That's what people do to Barbie dolls. Yeah. I wouldn't want to be a daycare Barbie. Yeah, I pretty much am a daycare Barbie. And this hair is not helping. Man, I'll tell you what. This morning was a good morning.

Not only did I beat Cash's best time running. Oh my gosh. By a minute and a half. No, he didn't. No, there's no proof. There's literally no proof of this. It is proven. I started here and I ran to the location. We run two miles. And there's no shortcuts. So how do you think I cheated? We run two miles to the gym and he ran without me. And the one day I didn't want to run with him. He's like, oh, I, I,

I actually beat your time by a minute and a half. Yeah, because I didn't have to wait on him. I was able to just run. But one day, there's no one with him. No one was with him. It's just him. Then he was like, oh, yeah, well, I can beat you in a sprint in a short distance. Was it gym where you play basketball? No. No, different gym. But yeah, he was like, I can beat you in a sprint. How did you think that went, Harper?

No, it didn't. It went bad. Yeah, I beat him in a sprint, too. Twice. Okay. Oh. Are you happy? Yeah, you're slow, dog. Since we are telling Halloween... My voice is itchy from this stupid belt. What? It's okay. You're itchy? Okay, well, since this is a Halloween episode, you know, I feel... Oh. Wait, can we not make Halloween music? Halloween!

Okay, no Halloween. No, since this is a Halloween episode, I'm going to tell... A scary story? Yes, Harper. Okay. Thanks for stealing my thunder. I'm going to tell a scary story. Wait, are we all sharing scary stories? Can we have a fun one? Yes, I have a great one. No, you don't. You literally don't have one. You don't even have one that you're thinking of. I have a good one. All right, what is it? What is it? Okay, so where my uncle went to a hotel and he saw a ghost.

Wow. That was a good story. Wow. No, but it has a lot to it. Mamma mia. Okay. No, I'm telling my scary story. I called you in a second. Let me see this. Wait, what's in my drink? I don't know. A spider? No. Oh. Oh. What is that? It's like hot glue. What is that? Sonic? Sonic. Sonic.

That's like a piece of plastic. It's a piece of plastic. That's wild. I would not drink that. Sonic, I'm suing you. What's your scary story, Cash? Okay, my scary story. Continues to drink it. Sorry. Oh. No one ever lets me tell stories on here, man. All right, once upon a time, a long, long time ago. All right. That's how it starts, okay? Okay. It's going to get scary, I promise. Yeah. Okay? Yeah.

Once upon a time. It got really scary. Looks like I'm trying to read my story now. From the top, everyone. Why does Joe have the hot dog costume on? Okay. Once upon a time. Once upon a time, a long, long time ago. What? I was laying in bed and it was around 7 a.m. in the morning. Wow, so scary. And then I woke up

I look to my right, I see my wall. I look to my left, and I see Kate with no makeup on. Oh. Oh my gosh. Woo! That got me. That got me going there. You don't seem very scared. Oh, she hasn't seen it yet. Uh... You haven't, you, that makes sense why you're not scared. Never mind. Okay, I got another one. I got another one. Um... Once upon a time... Are you looking at anything? I'm not. Oh, okay. So... A long, long time ago...

My wife woke up. It's around 7 in the morning. She looks to her left and she sees a wall. She looks to her right. She sees a handsome man. And then she walks to the bathroom and she looks in the mirror. Okay. And what happens next? No makeup on. Oh. Ah.

Why are you not laughing? That was funny, Katie. Has anybody else got a scary story? I had to make one up. I have a good scary story. No, you don't. I don't believe you. No one believes you. No one believes you. You're lying to us. No, my uncle saw a ghost in the hotel. No, he didn't. Okay, let's hear it. Let's hear it. I don't even know if you have an uncle. I do. I do have an uncle. What's his name? Uncle Blake. Okay. Okay. Let's hear about Uncle Blake's ghost. Okay. So...

Once upon a time, he, or no, it's not once upon a time. This is a true story because Kate is beautiful.

Thanks, Harper. Of course. You really saved it. So anyways, so once he was in a hotel and he- You're not really telling a scary story, guys. No, I am. I am. So he was in a hotel one night and he saw a story about that, like 20 years ago, that in that hotel, a man or a wife stole a-

- She got overwhelmed. - When I get nervous, I burp, okay? So, I'm kidding. Okay, so he stole his credit card, or the wife stole the man's credit card and then killed herself. And then after that happened, 20 years later, my uncle was in that hotel in the same room where she like killed herself.

and he woke up in the middle of the night, and he saw a girl with, like, bags of money and stuff, and, like, bags of, like, shopping carts and stuff, and he was, like, talking, or the coach was, like, talking to him, and he doesn't lie. Like, he doesn't joke around. Yeah, but you do. No. You do lie. Mom, mom, mom, isn't this true?

I told you. And then the next morning, he went downstairs and he was like, hey, could y'all check the surveillance cameras and see if anybody came into my room? Because I think somebody came into my room last night. And then they were like, oh, yeah, were you in room blah, blah, blah? And then he was like, yeah. And they were like, oh, apparently that room is haunted. So then he went to the library and the hotel and they were like, yeah, it's like...

Like, or he went to the library in the hotel and then he found a book and it was like the book of the woman killing herself and buying all that money bags and stuff. What hotel has a library? I don't know. And second of all, what does he mean I think someone came into my room? Either somebody's in my room and I'm like, hey, get out of my room. He was like, get out of my room. And like, I don't know. And she left? Yeah. Wow. Or no, she like disappeared or something. I don't know. So do you believe in ghosts? No. What about that one? Gotcha. Did you get that from the dog tree?

Because I actually have that same thing. Did you get it from the Dollar Tree? Yeah. Where'd you get it from, Kate? The Dollar Tree. Wow. I knew it. I know everything. Just like your outfit. More like the 99 cent store, to be honest. You know what's ridiculous? This is a $60 dress. What? I'm returning it. That's wild. I'm returning it immediately. How much was your outfit? Mine? It was like $5. How much was my outfit? I think that one was about $30.

Oh my gosh. Whatever my outfit was, we overpaid. That's for sure. Why? Nothing makes me feel more unfunny than when Harper's around. Yo. I say a funny joke and she's like, huh? Huh? What are you going to say? Y'all know it. Oh, before this, I had to make Harper stop talking when y'all were still getting ready because she was about to tell me about her and, uh, well. I have so much to tell y'all about this. So much. About what? Oh my gosh.

Just wait. Oh, boy. Okay, so basically, don't turn this into a reel, but... Wait, is this about homecoming? Yes. I feel like we should save that for next episode so people have to wait. We should save it. All right, we'll wait until next time. Come back next week. Come back. Actually, I don't know when it will release, but when we release an episode that says homecoming, then Harper's going to tell her story. Yeah, I will. Dang.

I really want to hear it though. It's crazy, but you have to wait. Wait, do you know it?

No. He made me stop talking. Something I do sometimes when I'm sleeping, since we were talking about me being a sleeping beauty. Sometimes I like, I'll wake up, not wake up. I do it when I sleep. I sit up and I slam my head into cash and I like headbust. She headbusts me. She goes, whoa, bam! Why? I don't know. I'm like sleeping and I wake up and I'm like. You're like, where's his head? We both wake up, bro, and we're like.

And what's bad is before I was married, I'd done this for so long because before I was married, I would just wake up and slam my head into the wall. And then like, now it's just me. Wow. And when we both wake up, she goes, well, bam. And then we both wake up and we're like,

And then we go back to bed and we don't acknowledge it. It's just like, yeah, that just happened. Hey, what's y'all's favorite Halloween candy? Favorite Halloween candy? Well, actually, because... Whoppers are good. I know, I love Whoppers. Since we were doing... Let him cook.

Is that Whoppers? What are you doing? Whoppers? Since this is a Halloween episode, I decided to go ahead and buy the worst Halloween candy on the market to celebrate. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Worst? The worst? Tootsie Rolls? Worst Halloween candy on the market.

- Tootsie Rolls. What do you have against Tootsie Rolls? - What do you mean? It's like a chocolate Laffy Taffy. - Gimme, gimme, I'll go through that bag right now. - Let me see this worst Tootsie. - Let's play a game. - Okay, okay. - What? - I love games. - If you get the question right, you get a Tootsie Roll. - Oh, what's the question? - What are we in? First grade? - It's Halloween themed. - I'm not gonna get in first grade. I'm not in first grade. - It's Halloween themed, okay?

Let's see. I'm excited. I got a great game to play after this. See who can fit the most tootie rolls in their mouth. That's not a good game. That's a good idea. That's a horrible game. I am going to fit all of them. No, me. I am. I'm going to just swallow them. Okay. Are you just looking up random questions to ask us? Uh,

Maybe. No. Guys, just stand by for two seconds. You got the worst Halloween candy and now you're making us compete for your worst Halloween candy? Yeah. I don't really want to compete for it then. What was your favorite candy? Oh, my favorite candy? Halloween candy. Low key, I can go to town on some Fun Dip.

Do what I actually love fund up fund it blow boy no no no no yeah I know fund it was for like down time fun tip is good. What else is good Laffy Taffy Oh laughter Taffy. Oh my gosh banana Laffy Taffy. Oh my god, but now I think happy so good Okay, no, I'm telling y'all have you have you have been in a Laffy Taffy yes, do you like it no I

I'm kidding. Do you like it? Yeah, yeah, it's great. Do you like banana Laffy Taffy? Not really. Okay, when we go trick-or-treating, y'all are giving me your banana Laffy Taffy. I feel like you should give me some advice. You just seem like, as a pan, it's like a different person. Like, you seem wise. Yeah, I can be like a receptionist, like Pam. Wait. The pan. Pam the pan. Yeah. What advice do you want? You're like a different person. Advice? Well, this week. You should have been the clock from Belle.

What were you saying, Matt? This week, I hung out with some ladies. Oh, boy. It wasn't just ladies. Ladies are old ladies. Young ladies. Okay. We got to specify, because sometimes Matt be hanging out with old ladies. Hey, chill. Listen, so... No, these weren't normal gals. He didn't deny it. But the problem is, I'm not going to lie, is I'm not in love with any of them, but they're cool, and I will possibly...

Their head seems in the right space. Ask them out on a date. The problem is they're both cool. They're both cool people. I'm so confused what your question is. Do I ask them both out on a date separately? So you have two girls. Or take them both out on one date together. Both out on one date. Two birds, one stone.

That's what I was thinking, but I'm not sure how well that's going to go. They're best friends. Are y'all ready for my Halloween trivia? Yes, yes, yes. Okay. Also, I really want to know if we can just cut to Joe at a random scene when he's not paying attention because he's like this in a hot dog costume.

Bro. Okay. Question number one. I'm going to give the Tootsie Roll to whoever gets it right. Okay. Okay. What day is Halloween? October 21st. 31st. No. Maverick got it right. What did you say, Mr. Pan? 24th? I don't know. It was ish. Okay. It's the last day of the month. Okay. Okay. Okay.

What fruit... No, he can't eat. He smacks. Don't smack. Who, what fruit do we carve? Jack-o'-lantern. Pumpkin. I said that first. I didn't hear that. What? That was so funny.

first. I'm never going to get a Tootsie Roll. I have a question. Are pumpkins a fruit? Apparently they are. I just looked it up. Pumpkins are definitely like a vegetable. I would think so, but the internet told me fruit. Next question. Spiders have eight legs, but what else do they have? Two eyes. Eight lives. Eight eyes.

No! They don't have eight eyes. That thing has two. Look at it. It has two googly eyes. You're going to base it off of the Dollar Tree decoration? I know for a fact spiders do not have eight eyes. Spiders do not have eight eyes. She's lying. Okay. And Charlie Brown, what was he waiting for? I've never seen it. The prize to win the chocolate factory. No. I don't know. Are you talking about Willy Wonka? What are you talking about? You remember he was waiting for the great

Wall of China? No. Okay. Wall of China? What did Charlie Brown get on Halloween? I've never seen the show. Me neither. He got a rock.

I got a kinky rock. You got a rock. Great. Give yourself a... What? Are you kidding me? Okay. Give me one. Let's go. Okay, Cash. This one's for me. You gotta be faster, dog. I'm gonna be fast. This one's for Cash. Okay, let's go. Well, what if we answer before him? I don't think... This is directly towards Cash. No, you can answer it, but she's saying like, I'm gonna get it right. What Halloween costume did you make yourself when you were younger? A pumpkin. What do you mean? Is this like a right... Is this like a right... Is there a right question? No. Okay. Okay.

There's no way. I've been in a lot of Halloween costumes. How was I supposed to know? I'm at four. What are you at? None. Zero. None. Yeah, I was at Vinny Machine one year. I'm going to see if we can pop up a picture, but I don't know if we have one. I was at Vinny Machine one year for Halloween. It took me and my mom forever to make that costume. Wait, did you have actual snacks in it? Yeah. Did you get to vend it out?

No, Harper. I didn't get any candy. Just like I'm not getting any candy right now. Okay. Wait. Let's do the next question. Okay. Next question. She doesn't have one. You can do it. It doesn't have to be Halloween related. Anything. Okay. I like Halloween related. Okay. Do Halloween related. When's my birthday? Oh, my gosh. Wait, wait, wait. June 24th. June 21st. January. June 27th. June 23rd. June 24th. 2019. 2019. Oh, my gosh.

She yeeted that at your face. I never knew a tootsie roll could hurt so bad. I'm being so for real. Man's gonna have a concussion. Yo, the pan normally hits people. Not the other way around. I'm not actually a pan. Dong!

Next question. I got it. Who was the first president of the United States? George Washington. That was a tie. That was for sure a tie. Congratulations. Ask me the second. I don't know the second. I can't confirm. No, I can confirm. Come on. Well, I don't know the answer to this. Bill Gates.

No. She got it right. What? That's a lie. That's a lie. Okay, hey, wait. Hey, give me this. Nope, nope. No, hey, give me this. Give me this. No. You didn't answer correctly. I'm the one asking questions here. Next question is for the bag. How about no more games? I want to talk. Oh, next question for the bag. Wait, just give me real quick. I got a thing to play. Give me it. No, the whole bag. Bye-bye.

whoever catches the most wins no no no i need no no okay no what are you doing kate just ran off to pee yeah i told you she was gonna why is she leaving to pee hot dog came in i got it all guys

Why was that so funny that she needed to go pee? Why did Harper go instantly like we were going to beat her to it? She was scared. She was like, get it. Wait, no. Because, you know, when you hit it... Whoa. I think I keep hitting my mic. You guys hear this? Listen. Yeah, don't do that. All I'm saying is that...

Someone who's wearing green today is a new Mav in touching your microphone this podcast. Oh. That's you. No. That is you. You are wearing green. Yeah, that would be you. No, I'm not. Okay. I got a question. Why I... What? Am I too old to go trick-or-treating? Well, I think Harper can go trick-or-treating for as many years as she wants to. I know. All you gotta do is wear a mask. Like, when you're 45, you'll be good. You don't think I could wear a mask and still go? Kate's still not back, so you gotta thank my wife. And you don't look like my wife.

She's probably still cleaning up. It's going to be a while. I can't believe she actually peed her pants again. That's so bad. Do you go trick-or-treating? Yes. Really? Yeah. I thought he's not lying.

You go trick-or-treating with the kid? At the churches. It's a good excuse, right? I do trunk-or-treat. I'm going to take my kid trick-or-treating this year just to get his candy. Your kid's zero. Exactly. Your kid has no teeth. Roll.

Trigger treat. His baby don't even got teeth and he's like, you have to tap. We'll save it for later. He's got to get some teeth. And they're like, wait. Wait a second. Okay, I'll play my Tootsie Roll game because I'm eating all of them. Okay, what's your game? We want to see who can fit the most Tootsie Rolls in their mouth. I think you and Harper got that for sure.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Do you want to start? Do you have any tissue rolls? No, I don't. I have two, but I earned those. Yeah, we're going to need those because I'm going to fit all of them in my mouth. Hey, guys. Hey, do you have another bag of tissue rolls? I do. Hey, you took the wig off. I didn't take it off. It got...

Something happened to it. Did it go down the toilet? What do you mean? What do you mean something happened to it? I don't know. The last thing I remember was I was laughing so hard I started to pee, so I had to run really fast. Hey, Alex, go see if you can find the wig. Don't worry. We'll locate it for you. Wait, yeah. Do we have... Oh, yeah, there we go. I know you want to wear that wig, Kate, so we'll find it. Okay. We're going to see who can fit... Put all the Tootsie Rolls in here. We're going to see who can fit more in their mouth.

With the wrapper on or wrapper off? Mad and Kate, y'all are going to count us. With the wrapper on. You count Harper. Kate, you count me. But I'm all right. Kate, there's the wig. I kind of got money on Harper. Oh, we found the wig. Look at that. The wig's back. Oh. Here you go. Nice. Okay. I'm ready. I'm ready. Here we go. Who can fit the most Tootsie Rolls in their mouth? Who do y'all think is going to win? Me. I think Harper. I think absolutely Harper. What?

Okay, can I are you offended you got a count how many she puts in her mouth and can't count me you ready? All right, wait, I got you that one. I believe the heck. Did you do this? Just eat it No, I'm not eating it. She ate it already already That's one one one hour later 18 19 we're all out. Oh 19 cash. That was 19

This is impressive. This is weird. That's really impressive. 20. Ew, you're getting spit all over my hands. 22. Oh, she's gonna fit 21. You're at 20. Y'all are each at 21. Huh? He's at 23. Oh.

*laughing* They hold back and they still want more. *laughing* Harper! Alex, we need napkins! We need napkins! Oh my gosh! The chocolate! The mess! Oh! Oh! Oh gosh, I can't look at that! Oh my gosh, look away! Look away! Oh, that's terrifying! Oh! *laughing*

It's so bad. I can't look at that. Oh my god. That's so terrifying. They're sweating out.

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Oh my gosh, I want to vomit from that Oh my gosh, he's puking Oh my gosh, he's Oh my

Oh my gosh! He's actually vomiting. We need way more stuff. Oh my gosh! Yes! He's throwing up again! It's my favorite podcast ever! Oh my gosh! This is so bad!

Oh, that was impressive! Wow! Bravo! That was so bad. Dude, you got everybody here like in shock. I can't believe you did that. You just threw up Tootsie Roll and something else. I don't feel good. You threw up, what was that? That came up. I don't feel good. What do you mean? That was throw up. I threw up in the back and it's thrown up. I saw Tootsie Roll come out. Can we get a plastic sack or something? And then I saw a lot more stuff come out. Oh my gosh.

Once I threw up a little bit And then you know when you smell throw up You throw up more I went Yo There's no way I gotta clean this up Yeah we might have to take five Yeah So guys this went wrong but I think I did We're gonna clean up real quick And we're gonna start back or should we just keep going No we gotta stop What's our time Joe

This is bad. Bro, I was peeing because it was so funny. Joe drops the bag. He's like, not my job. That actually, I was like gagging before he started throwing up, but him throwing up. Oh, I got to see it come out of his mouth. Straight into the bag. Yo, see if we can put it in slow motion. If you can see the throw up on the camera, we should totally put that in slow motion. I'm sure you got it on this one.

Hey, are we stopping for half a second? No, I think I got it here. I'll clean up. Wow. At first. What's our time? I was laughing so hard because I saw it was stuck in his mouth. Dude. So I put him in both ways and then across. So it was all stuck and it wouldn't come out. It was all pee in our pants. So why did you throw up? Because I was trying to put it out and then it wouldn't come up. And I was like, it was making me gag. Me too. But I didn't. I didn't throw up. Thankfully. All right, guys.

What the heck is that? It's a bag that one of my good friends gave me. Yeah, for real. She went to a... Okay, first off, I found out there's a snack convention, a national snack convention. Nobody look right there. Nobody look. Don't look. Don't look. Nobody look. Nobody look right there. No. Oh. I told y'all not to look there. Oh, my gosh. No. No. So,

Is that the chili cheese hot dog? That is the chili cheese hot dog I just ate before the thing. That will actually make you throw up if you look at it. I could feel it coming up. Wait, we have to blur that. We can't put that on camera. If I think about it, I'm going to throw up. That was so disgusting. Everything that could have gone

It's gone. It's gone. Oh my gosh. That bag is so heavy. I did not realize I threw up that much. Please put this in a reel. It's so funny. Oh my gosh. No, I was literally peeing right like then and there. So I'm going to continue talking while he cleans that up. So one of my friends went to a national snack convention, which I didn't know they had, which we need to go to. Yeah. A national snack convention. After I just saw that. And she brought me some snacks. Is there a throw up on the carpet? There was, but I got it.

They're Whistle Suckers. Oh, my mom used to give me those. Oh, okay. Let's see what else we got. Where is the snack convention at? Make sure you show the camera. It was in Georgia. It was in Atlanta. We got this cookie thing. You want to try it? Yeah. Okay, this needs to go in the garbage right now. It's a marshmallow rice treats cookies and cream. Try it, Alex. Would you like to take the...

Don't make Alex... Kate, do you want to try something? Sure. Here, it's okay. I'll sit on this. Try these things. These look weird. They're called Choco Bambolitos... Wait. I don't know. The real question is... Some chocolate real thing. The real question is who won the game. And... I think everybody here lost. Then we got... No way we're eating more snacks right now. Then we got a freeze-dried beef jerky stick thing. This is good. This is good. This is good. Bro, I'm not eating more snacks. Unfortunately, you are. It's Halloween. It's Halloween.

It's a freeze-dried beef jerky stick thing, and then I'm gonna eat this other freeze-dried. You gave me the freeze-dried beef jerky? This is also freeze-dried beef jerky. I'm gonna eat one, too. You gave her like... This is Boston. The rest of the stuff's just not that good. That's the best stuff. Wait, I wanna try that, Harper.

I'm not eating this one. What in the world? This is not pre-throw up snacks. You eat it. Why don't you eat it? Because you don't want to eat it. No, you eat it. Eat it. Cash, I'm going to eat the other thing. Okay, let me see it. I don't want to eat that. I don't want to eat meat. Yeah, I don't want to eat meat. That's what I'm telling you. So you eat it. Stop acting like I'm ridiculous. You eat meat. I don't want to eat it. No, you eat meat. I'm not eating it. You eat meat? What's going to happen? It's a frying pan. Oh, this is so bad. That's bad? That's bad.

Did you lie to her? The cookies and cream thing is not good? This is terrible. That's it. Don't throw up. That looks interesting. Is it a ghost? I'm immediately throwing this away. Okay, I'm actually not eating that. No. I thought you said it was good. Harper, will you try this one? Yo, we're making such a mess right now. All right, Harper's going to try the beef jerky stick thing. It says for dogs. No, I got it from the snack convention. You're good. Oh my gosh, it's for dogs? Yeah. That's why you were trying to get me to eat it? Oh, no.

- You said, is it like a free dry, like beef jerky? I was like, that does not look free, just dry. - Yo, let me see that. Harper, I didn't even catch on that this was for dogs. - I want to throw up still. - For dogs, oh, yep. - You should really eat it.

Try it. I just threw up in this... I literally just threw up two seconds ago. And now he's trying to get me to eat dog food. Bro, it would have been funny. Eat the dog treat. I'm not eating no dog treat. That's disgusting. I already threw up. We were literally drooling... What's it called? Chocolate? I was doing more than drooling. If you guys haven't already, you guys should go join our fan club.

What's that? We made a fan club, exactly. Yeah, you guys should go join our fan club on Patreon. We're going to link the description down below. Let's go. We're going to be doing a bunch of cool stuff on there. We're going to be doing like merch giveaways, percentages of merch. We're going to have a group chat with everyone in it so you guys can personally talk to all of us. The group chat's going to be insane. There's a lot of cool features on there. We're going to have behind-the-scenes content. So if you guys want to check out our Patreon, click the link in the description if you want to join the LOL Club.

Peace. Sorry, I needed to- Oh, let's do the peace out person. I needed to tell people about that, because it's big news. Well, the episode's not over. Oh, it's not? I like this episode. This is my favorite episode. This has been a good one. Really? Because this is one of my least. Just me personally. What do y'all think? Do y'all like this episode? I'm a frying pan, and I've thrown up. Yes, but it was awesome in slow motion. I'm a ninja, and I was drooling chocolate. Oh, that wasn't as cool. I'm Rapunzel, and I peed my pants. And I was a hot dog, but now I'm Mario.

Because the hot dog costume was hot. Dog. Dog. Yeah, now Joe's the hot dog. Hey, since we did our favorite candy, what's y'all's least favorite Halloween candy? Mine wasn't Tootsie Rolls. Mine obviously is now Tootsie Rolls. Milk Duds. Milk Duds are so good. I love Milk Duds too. Milk Duds are...

Y'all are actually gonna laugh in my face when I tell you this. My favorite thing to get on Halloween is pretzels. What? You freak. You little...

You're subhuman if you like pretzels over candy. Stop! Dang! Joe has no idea. I didn't do nothing. I didn't do nothing. Pretzels on Halloween hit so different. I mean, I think you're right, though. I just really wonder what I did. Joe's all freaked out now. Guys, listen. What's your favorite move? I can't drink my slushy anymore because bro was next to it. Do we have any Halloween plans? Should we throw a party? Yes! Yes!

You wanna throw a party? Let's throw a Halloween party! Let's do it. I don't have any friends, so you're gonna have to pull. I will. Also. Harper, are you gonna pull up to our Halloween party? Sure. I mean, why not? She wasn't planning on it, and she probably won't. Y'all know one year for Halloween, I was a money tree. Like, I was a tree.

With money? Because my name is Cash? Wait, but could I bring my friends? That's funny. Unfortunately, no, because then they would have our address. Oh, you're right, actually. Yes? Did you hear my costume? Yeah, you're a throw-up man. No. Oh. What? No. How did you get that? Wait, Kate, I'm confused. Yeah, where would that come from? Why did you pee your pants when I scrambled down for the jam? Because I thought it would be a fun idea, Harper. Yeah, like, why? No. Guys, I don't have control of my bladder, and everybody knows this.

Oh, but you should get control of it. I'm trying. Like, how do you get mad at a dog if it doesn't have control? But you're human.

I don't get mad at dogs. In fact, I get mad at other people who get mad at dogs for dogs not being able to control their bladder. I get mad at dogs. I don't like dogs. I love dogs. I do not like dogs. I'm not a big dog person either. My favorite dog is a weird dog. I am a dog person, but nothing is worse than being a full-grown human and having to pick up poop after an animal. Yo, like unless you're a zookeeper, there's no reason you should be doing that. Yeah, it's just not... But you choose to buy the dog. Hey, wait, you poop scoop. Yeah, I do.

Do you still do that? No way. You're trolling. Nope. Do you go once a week? Yes. Well, me and my sister do. It's very honorable. You go once a week to pick up poop for $20? Mm-hmm. Still? Well, $60 now. Well, $40 now. $40 now. Wow. They cut you? Somebody fired me. Actually? Yeah.

Why? Why'd they fire you? Because the dogs were psycho and they kept biting us, biting us. Wait, that, I don't, that isn't. So you quit? Yeah. You quit or they fired you? You didn't quit. You got fired. Why are you smiling like that? No. Did they fire you or did you quit? Mom, what did they do? What? Like us. Oh. Okay, so they fired you. So they, so they told you not to come anymore so you got fired.

No. That's how you know if you're fired. If they say, hey, don't show up to work tomorrow, you're fired. Hey, you called it. You said she'd be fiddling with this. I did. When we set all that up, I was like, oh, Harper's going to have a fiddle fest. A fiddle fest. Guys, are we having a Halloween party? I don't know.

I'm down to have a Halloween party. Yeah, but I'm not being the frying pan this time. I'm still a little shook up about how he just threw up. I'm going to be real. I don't know how none of y'all threw up from me throwing up. Because when I see throw up, I throw up. I almost didn't. I didn't see anything. But I was already like turned this way gagging when I saw the chocolate rolling out. She smelt it, man. When it was midstream coming out, it was funny. But when I saw it on the ground, that almost made me throw up. What's y'all's favorite thing to do on Halloween? Not throw up.

That's true. Last Halloween, me and you had a good one. What did we do? We went to Cancun. Oh, we did. Me and you left the ladies here and we went to Cancun. We were on a beach. So y'all are always at Cancun. Do y'all have like a resort there? Yeah, we own one. You know those big resorts you see? Yeah, we own one. I don't believe you. Why do you think we always go to Cancun? Wait, you actually own one? Yeah. Have you ever heard of the Hilton?

Yes. Yes, that's my dad. If you see the Hilton, my dad owns that. We own those. The hotels? Yes. Yeah, if it says Hilton on it, we own it. Or, well, my dad owns it. So why is it not Cash Hilton? Because my dad owns it. His name's Hilton. Wait, actually? Yes. Why? That's crazy. So it's Hilton. Have you ever stayed in a Hilton? Yeah. Honest opinions on their business. Yeah, okay, so give my dad a review. How's his hotel biz? Oh.

Oh, Hilton's not going to like that. I like Sharon better. That's a huge competitor. Gosh darn it, Sharon. And I like Day-In. Days-In? No. Wait, wait, wait. You like Days-In better? Yes. I'm sorry, Dad.

I know my dad is not on Hilton Harbor. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I didn't know. No, but seriously, what's your first thing to do on Halloween? Because I never do anything. I don't either. Last year I went to Cancun because I didn't know what to do. Haunted houses are the best, bro. Scaring friends, hanging out with people. Last year I just passed out candy. Was that fun? No, she did not. Kate was a loser house.

She gave out toothbrushes and toothpaste. Oh yeah, she did. No, I'm not even kidding. Kay gave out toothbrushes and toothpaste. Bro, you know how mad I'd be that I even took the energy to come knock on your door for a toothbrush and toothpaste? No, y'all have to understand. My costume, first of all, Cash and I last year, I was a tooth fairy. He was supposed to be a dentist. And the whole joke was I was going to give them candy so their teeth would fall out. And then Cash was going to give them toothbrushes because he's a dentist.

But then Cash left for Cancun. So then it was just the Tooth Fairy. And then Maverick's girlfriend at the time did the dentist. So then she gave out toothbrushes and I gave out full-size chocolate bars, by the way. I am that house. Nice. She was very proud of herself for the full-size chocolate bars. I'm not gonna lie, though. I know the exact house that gave me full-size chocolate bars when I was kids. And every year I was like, let's go!

And then one year, instead of like the king size, they gave us normal candy. Never went back. Got bummed out, man. I never went back to that house. This year, we're giving out king size candy bars. But don't show up to our house if you know our address. Or do. No, don't. Or don't. I'll talk to you. Kate doesn't like when people show up because she thinks it's a safety hazard. Do you like when people notice you in public? Oh, when people notice me in public? It's fun. Listen. But not in your private home. Not in my home. No, don't show up to my house. Okay, listen. We've had like...

eight nine-year-old kids show up and neighborhood kids the neighborhood kids i don't mind because we know all of them but it's when other people are coming from like neighborhoods and stuff i don't like like what if i just showed up and i wasn't like you calling the police oh yeah no i just think it's weird like why yeah i don't like and also i'm more worried about like people i'm

I'm more worried that like, cause like one time we had like a group of like 15, 16 year old boys or whatever. And I don't think they were going to like, they weren't threatening, but it's like they have my address and then they give it to other people. And then eventually it gets to actual threatening people who will show up to our house to do bad things. So that's why I'm scared. I remember growing up, we would go like toilet paper people's houses on Halloween. And that was freaking fun. Uh, yeah.

That's why I was asking what y'all's favorite thing to do is because now I'm gonna do that. Yeah, let's oh my gosh We got a toilet paper people's houses. Yes. It was so fun. That's that's I'm sorry That's the best thing you could possibly do. It was so fun. Did y'all know that my address is two three four? Yeah, we'll be there No, I said we need to go do that that would be fun and only toilets on their front yard We could even toilet paper our own house. Oh

I mean, it would give a spooky effect. I don't think so. I thought it sounded fun. Then you got to clean it up. That's also fun. You get to use a lighter and it just burns the toilet paper. Straight up in the air. That's the best way to get rid of it. Yeah. Have you done that before? Yeah. Speaking of cleaning things up, I got to clean this up.

Yeah, that's gonna take a while. And in case y'all are wondering, I was like, I really don't want to paint my face if we don't have, like, face paint. And then Matt pulls out a real bottle of paint. And then I brought my paint. And then they made me use real paint. So now I have real paint on my face, and I have no clue how it's gonna come off. Wait, that's the real paint? Yeah, this is real paint. He wanted to be gray to match his frying pan, but it turned out a little dark gray. Because otherwise it looked like there was an egg in the frying pan.

Which would not anything about it make more sense. I'm not. What? No. An egg in the frying pan? I mean, it would make sense, but not for our costumes. All right, guys. What? Are we keeping this for next episode? The spider? No, we're taking all the Halloween stuff down. Because it's not going to be Halloween anymore.

How it's going to be over. Harper, you know what's next? Christmas, though. We're going to decorate for Christmas. Oh, my gosh. Christmas is my favorite. I was going to say Thanksgiving comes before Christmas. I don't count. What is Thanksgiving? I don't count Thanksgiving. Wait. For Christmas.

For Christmas, we should dress up as the Grinch cast. The 24th. It's the same thing every year, right? Or the 25th? It's the third Thursday of the month. Wait, can I be Cindy Lou Who, maybe? All right, guys. Well, thank you so much for watching this episode. If you haven't already, like I said, go check out our LOL Fan Club. We just started. We're going to be doing a bunch of stuff in there, like the group chat, merch, exclusive behind-the-scenes content, and all that cool stuff. We have merch. Do we? Oh, yeah. We also should have merch out by now.

I think. I think. So also you can go check out the merch. Or if you don't want to check that stuff out, you can check out my Instagram at Maverick Baker. If you want. Do the outro.

Peace out, bro. Shaka. Matt was talking. Peace out, bro. Shaka. Whoever has the most viewed video using a clip from this podcast on TikTok or YouTube Shorts, we're going to be personally FaceTiming. Post as many times as you want, but make sure to tag the podcast and use hashtag the LOL podcast in the title slash description. Good luck and we hope you win.