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At Banner Health, we're here to provide more than health care. Whatever you're planning, wherever you're going, we're here to help you get there. Banner Health. Exhale. Welcome back to some crazy Reddit stories. Today is all about confessions. And joining me today are Arasha and Spencer. Hey. What's up? Have anything to confess today? Yeah, any confessions to start off with?

I might get inspired by other people being vulnerable, and then I'll be like, they said something, I want to share something. Okay. Arash, I'm glad to have you back here, because the last episode you were on was absolutely the most unhinged episode of this show that's ever existed. I wish I remembered. I truly do not recall much of it. I just remember it as a fever dream. It was her and Amanda, and it truly the last...

If you watched the episode, I'm curious what you thought. I'm sure you put it down in the comments on that one, but I don't remember much of it. It was like the last video of the last day of the shoot block, and we all were just on a lot. Yeah, in case of the giggles. The giggles. We were giggling. We were giggling a lot. All right, well, are we ready for some crazy confessions here? I'm ready. I'm ready to be ready. Okay, let's go. Here's our first story. It comes from True Off My Chest.

Sick. - Asshole. - Jerk.

This is a 29-year-old woman. I've always been good with numbers and responsible. It was more noticeable in school because no one gave a fuck. But given that I have CP, cerebral palsy, and walk with crutches plus being a nerd, you can imagine I was an extremely easy target for bullying. One year they mixed us, so I had new classmates. The bullying was worse, but then one of the popular guys would defend me. At first I was confused, but when I saw that he would leave me his notebooks, I understood.

And so began our symbiotic relationship. The bullying stopped and I would do his homework every day. We never talked about it. And whenever he spoke to me, he sounded angry. It was like that for almost three years and his grades went up. I was just grateful I could be at peace in school. We graduated and never spoke again, nor did I see him again. But then a week ago, he reached out on Instagram. He told me how good life had been for him. He offered to buy me a house and a car.

At first I thought it was a scam, but we made video calls, he showed me things, and it's legit. Long story short, he is a successful businessman worth millions living abroad. He said he always remembered me because I helped him get where he is now. He

He said he wanted to repay me because he knew how hard it is to be disabled and a woman in my country specifically. He's not wrong, but I'm actually doing okay right now, so I declined all his offers. But then I received a call from a medical center, the most expensive where I live, mind you, saying I had three years of physical therapy paid for. How he knew I did physical therapy, I don't know.

I still thought it was a joke, so I went there and it was true. I already did my first two sessions and my body feels so much better. I'm still, bunch of question marks, 'cause I saw our relationship as purely transactional and now he comes and says he owes me? I'm so confused.

I already texted him so we can talk a little bit more about his offers, 'cause even though I turned them down, he said they'd still be available. And hopefully I can have a hand on the wheel to choose some less crazy expensive options. Thank you again, I feel less guilty now. That's fascinating. - Wow, that's kinda hot.

I was into the whole like leaving the note. That was crazy. That was crazy. That was the. Hey, stop that. Yeah, I'm into it. I guess I guess somehow in this story at that school, he's the most heroic of everyone. It's not not the best. I can only imagine that he's he's the one feeling guilty, maybe for still being like angry or like.

Well, he did still he did still like it's not like she's like, oh it was transactional It's like no you were being bullied horrendously. Nobody was standing up for you He stood up for you, but only if you did his homework. That's really not like a

- Like you don't owe him anything just because he was standing up for you. - Don't, the only way for you to survive high school was 'cause this guy recognized that you were in a shitty situation and took advantage of it. - Yeah, but clearly he's like-- - But clearly he's like remembered, he's like I only got to where I was because of the good grades that you got me, so he feels he owes her, he should repay her. - I feel like I gotta sit with this one. - Yeah. - I'm just like, this is such a, this is almost like, this feels,

I don't want to say this feels fake, but this feels like something that would come out of like a fan. It totally feels like this feels like a like like a story. Yeah. And and, you know, and I understand her confusion. But yeah, I don't know. I've never been offered a house or a car. And it's like, you know, that you've got to you've got to swallow a lot of pride to kind of take that like, you know. Yeah, it's.

- Yeah, I understand why people turn down those things too because there's a weird, I understand the feeling maybe of a power dynamic or something. - Yeah, I would feel like I owed that, even if I did do something for them, I would feel like I owed them

And you know, it's really hard to release that. - It's also tough, yeah, it's hard to release that. And you also, this person's a stranger now. You know, it's been a long time. And it's like, who are you, why are you doing this? - Yeah, I mean, I think maybe she was

She's been used to this kind of relationship that's mutually beneficial. So I can only imagine that maybe she's also going back to that time and being like, this is a really nice thing. Again, what will I have to do in order to receive that? And she doesn't really want to sign herself up for that again. Which I have to commend. It feels like she's got really good character. Totally. Yeah.

It's just it's so sad that that you know that she just called herself an easy target that that's the kind of stuff that she had to deal with so it's clearly I think Kind of twisted her reality a little bit in which she doesn't think people can just do nice things for her anymore Because she's always had to pay it back in a different way. Yeah. No, she sounds like a really strong individual who's gone through a lot. Yeah, and

I think it's always crazy to me when I hear about bullying of people who are in this type of situation where I'm like,

This feels like a cartoon. Like, what? Like, why are you doing this? Like, they obviously have zero control over something like that. And kids can be so cruel in that they'll find things that other kids have zero control over or no choice. And they'll just be like, well, why are you like that? Why is this happening to you? Why is this? And just kind of make you question a lot of your identity and

And again, just start to change the way that you see the world, which is really harmful in the long term. - Some comments here. You did his homework for three years and he paid for three years of therapy. It sounds like he knows exactly what he's doing and he wants to say thank you now. Remember that for the really wealthy. Something that seems crazy generous to us is the monetary equivalent of buying you lunch. Enjoy your therapy and may it continue to bring you relief.

At first glance, well said. I'm like waiting for something to click me, like wait, that is fucked up. But it's like no, that feels-- - It's just such a, it's a type, occasionally we have stories on this show where I've just never heard a story like it. And so I'm like, I don't, I never had an opinion on something like this before because I'd never heard of something like this before.

- Are you guys upset at the guy, do you think? What are your thoughts on his behavior, especially-- - I think I'm kind of similar to you where I'm like, I don't know what emotion I'm feeling regarding this. I think I'm kind of just assessing it. - For me, it's like my anger would be better directed at the people who were just absolutely bullying her. I don't know. Frankly, I don't know. It's just like, I think my anger would be better placed elsewhere.

in this situation, other than at the guy who, I don't know, maybe he's trying to make good, or I don't know. - Yeah, I mean look, 'cause I was gonna say, in the actual high school, I don't think he's a good person. I think he's, it was, she kinda calls it like it was transactional, it wasn't like he was looking out for me, it was just like, oh, I can benefit from this person who's struggling. I think he's, I would almost argue he was a bad person in that situation. - Yeah.

And I think he's someone who's clearly self-reflecting and looking back on his past and going, I was really shitty to that person and I benefited a lot from their situation. So I need to repay them. And it's right. If you have millions of dollars, that three years of physical therapy is probably a couple hundred thousand dollars. Like that's probably nothing to him.

- It's certainly helpful, I think, to distribute that monetarily, but is there also a world in which he could have been like, let's be friends, or let's connect. - I'll take the physical therapy.

- Well, you know, like-- - No, 'cause I am also reading this being like, take it, just fucking take it. - Yeah, I mean, that's life changing. It's a life changing, you know. - Yeah, I like especially that at first he was like, you know, I'll be big, I'll buy you a house, I'll buy you a car, and then upon her being like, no, he was like, what's something that would actually be super helpful and something that you need, which tended to be the physical therapy, which was really great. - Right, something she was already going to do. - Exactly, I think that was still helpful and,

good inherently, but I can't help but also think that there are other ways that he could have also maybe settled it. - Right.

Someone else said, "That's a nice gesture. "You should take it and be thankful. "Don't turn down somebody who's trying to be kind." While I agree with that at face value, I also am the type to be like, if someone comes out of the woodwork and offers you a house and a car, I'm like, I'm suspicious of that. So I'm also like, what is this? 'Cause the last time he offered to do something kind to her, there was something he wanted in return.

I would also be like, are you a new person? He's gonna slip his work homework. He's gonna be like, all right, now run my business. Yeah, his work work. There's an update.

Given all the support and kindness I received on the other posts, I'd like to let you guys know the resolution. We did another video call where I explained to him why I was hesitant to accept and told him all my doubts and fears about the whole ordeal. I was completely honest, which surprised me, to be honest. He also opened up to me and told me some sensitive stuff, which I would have never imagined.

At the end, we agreed that he would finish paying the car I had just started paying through a credit. And also, we found a little nice apartment in a good zone where I could be more comfortable. I tried to express all my gratitude, and I hope he really understood how big this was for me. Also, I got to thank him for protecting me in school and tried to make him see how big of an impact it had on my life.

I feel like this closed a chapter in my life and I think it's the same for him. I don't think we'll ever talk again, nor do I think we are friends. He truly lives in another world and our realities are not compatible. He did say though, if I ever go to his country, not the US, lol, I should call him to meet. I don't know if I would.

In the end, I'm just happy to see him so accomplished after all that happened in high school, and I'm happy I could express all my feelings and thoughts. Thank you for all your supportive words. They meant a lot to me and helped me make a decision.

- Well, I guess that's that. - Yeah, wow. - Case closed. - Case closed. Hey. - She speaks with just so much grace and dignity, I think. It's just, it's so, I'm in awe to hear the way that she is like, I'm so happy that he's accomplished so much, despite the fact that she was pretty much the reason that he was able to succeed.

Yeah, no, that's that's a that's an incredible person right there. Well, hey, I'm glad some something good came her way Yeah, sounds like she's been through a lot of hell So damn, yeah, it clearly clearly took her to the place of where she is right now, which it seems Hopefully at peace - yeah, and I'm having a good zone I'm happy to hear I'm happy to hear though that she was like I don't really need anything like I okay. Oh, yeah, like that's great. I

- Good for her. - All right, solid start. Let's get into our next story. My husband, to B, wants everyone to know I'm not pure. - I get it. - I don't get it.

Totally that is so you real okay It's exactly Okay It's exactly what the title says I've been with my fiance for six years and engaged for the past eight months I've been doing most of the wedding planning, but my fiance. Let's just call him Ryan. We'll give his input here and there and

So about a month ago, Ryan out of nowhere said he was talking to some of his coworkers and thinks that I shouldn't wear a white dress. This was totally weird to me. Ryan is a very artistic guy, so I figured this was more about how the photos would turn out or something along those lines.

But I'm set on wearing white. I told him this and I could see that he was annoyed, but he let it go. Two weeks ago, I finally picked and paid for my dress and this caused a huge argument. Ryan again came to me very annoyed. He asked to see the dress I picked, but I said no because I wanted it to be a surprise for our wedding day. He asked me to at least tell him what the color of it was. And when I said white, he threw a fit.

For some background,

For some background, Ryan and I started dating when I was 21, and he just turned 20. He was a virgin when we met, and I only had one other person who was my ex-boyfriend of four years throughout high school. This caused a lot of problems the first year of our relationship, and we almost did not continue dating because of how insecure he felt. After that first year, it was never a problem again until now, I guess.

Ryan is still stating that me wearing white would be deceiving all of the guests and that it is different for guys.

This all has honestly made me question even marrying this man. I don't know if it's just because everything is so fresh, but I'm really disgusted by him. He's not even religious, so I know this is just about him still thinking about me losing my virginity at 18 before I even knew him. I just needed to rant to anyone about how psycho this is. My first takeaway from this is how fascinating it is about all these dudes nowadays

with this shit, like the Manosphere stuff, the Andrew Tate stuff, but they're not religious. But they're still carrying over that weird shit. - Like Protestant values. - I'm just like, what the fuck, man? You're not religious. So you understand it doesn't, it's not a thing. I love how even his mom showed up and she's like, sorry, you're a fucking virgin, dude. - Yeah, she was like, you wear red, bitch. - Yeah. - You wear red.

- That's so funny. - That's so embarrassing. - No, eh, yeah, all of this. - Absolutely, absolutely don't marry that. - Absolutely. - She's gotta have so many more stories than this. - Oh, for sure. - There's no way he came out with this. This behavior does not come out of left field. - Yeah. - It's unfortunate to say, but if in the first year someone has a hangup of that level, that they're bringing up a lot, and they clearly can't get over,

I would personally have a really hard time trusting that it's like, you're gonna get over that. - Yeah. - Or if you're gonna get over that, we need to really talk about it and I need to know you're over it because I feel like this shit happens a lot where it's like, okay, and then it subsides for a couple years and now it's suddenly it's back. - I think when you're 20 or 21,

I don't wanna say I understand why a 20 or 21 year old would feel that. - For sure. - Like you are gonna be kinda like hung up on their ex and it's not like good. - I definitely agree, but that's also-- - Yeah, but that's like-- - But now you're gonna be-- - Grow up. - Gonna be with each other forever and then-- - Yeah, then you grow up. - Yeah, it's tough, man. - Yeah, I agree that there's also, there is some empathy in terms of like,

first relationship a first love a first Kind of take it at this kind of jealousy You maybe there is some insecurity and some anxiety codependency like I firmly believe that at the beginning Obviously excluding matters of like safety Hopefully everybody's kind of just trying to learn how to love and and how to be in a relationship And so I strongly believe in growth through reflection and

But it's exactly what she said where he was incredibly insecure at the beginning and this weird sort of variable about the color of her dress is something that he's so hung up on and it seems like it has to do with other people, like other people viewing her and thinking something about their relationship.

But nobody goes to a wedding and points at the bride in white and thinks, oh, she's wearing white, she's a virgin. Right. Or she's pure, yeah. Ha ha, virgin! Yeah. Like, it just, it makes zero sense. He's assigned something absolutely ridiculous, and then he's trying to have control over her in this way, trying to hopefully, like, regain some of that. It's objectifying as fuck. Yeah. I wonder where he got the info. Well, he said it's like him and his co- No, him and his co-workers, um...

I imagine it's also probably where he's on the internet, 'cause we're getting a lot of stories like this. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Unfortunately, it's a growing thing. So about a month ago, Ryan out of nowhere said he was talking to some of his coworkers and thinks that I shouldn't wear a white dress.

So, but I'm just like this crazy co-worker conversation. - Yeah, no, awful. - So what's your wife? - It's the talk of the office? - Yeah, he's 26, like it's just like dude, like. - 26, you don't even deserve rights yet. - No, well, see it's different because you know, maturity levels for men and women are also. - But like, when you're 20. - So, I have rights. - I don't know, just 26 and he's still, like they've been dating for six years.

and he still feels so strongly that he's like, you can't wear white to your wedding. This guy's got years of work to do. - No, yeah, he's done. - Minimum. That's crazy. - Cryin' Ryan, it's what we've named him. - Comments, look, if he is this insecure after six years together, things are not going to improve.

Is he going to mention your impurity in his wedding speech? Is he going to try to leverage this in your marriage to get what he wants? Is he going to demand paternity tests for your children? I'd seriously consider what you are signing up for. We had another Reddit story, that's right. We had another Reddit story where this guy started demanding so much from his wife. They'd been married for a while. And he started demanding just a bunch of crazy shit from her because before they married she wasn't a virgin. Just out of nowhere.

And it's because of all this shit online right now, but it's like, it's true. If he's hung up about it, it's not gonna get better. And it's so stupid because if you reversed it, if she was a virgin and he had had sex before...

I'm here as hell. - He says it, he says it's different for guys. And he doesn't even know why. - No, it just is, 'cause his co-workers told him. - Someone said, "Jesus, throw the whole man in the bin. "For six years has he been planning on getting back at you "for not being a virgin at your wedding? "I'm petty as fuck and would just stop having sex with him. "When he asks why, I would say since he finds "your sexual history so disgusting, "he is now part of the history, "while you tell him to pack his shit "and go find a virgin at 26." - Got him.

This is my update one year later on the whole situation. I will start by saying I did not get married. Ryan made that decision quite easy for me. I remember reading a comment that said I had to already be done with the relationship for me to move on so fast. That statement was very true. As much as I want to be the bigger person and not slander Ryan, he deserves it.

I won't get into all of our issues, but there are some big ones that I would like to address. - Drag 'em. - Yeah, and you were right, there's probably other shit. The absolute deal breaker for me had nothing to do with the red dress, but instead was all of his little lies that built up through our entire relationship. Ryan is very smart. I can't take that away from him. We actually met because even though I am a year older than him, he graduated a year before me. - He did her homework. - Yeah.

We had mutual classes for someone so smart, he always got caught in dumb lies. As far as I know, he never cheated on me. That was something that I know a lot of people assumed, but even now I don't believe it. There was never any big lie that caused massive drama, but rather a mountain of little white lies that always made me question why. He would lie to people about having allergies. He would lie about stopping for food before coming home. He would lie about losing weight. He has a healthy weight with a very normal build.

He would just lie about so many things that did not matter. My issue with this is I had absolutely no trust in the man over literally anything.

I never held him back from doing things and he never asked permission to do things. So him going out of his way to lie about meaningless things really made me start to resent him. I do not think he ever talked to his coworkers about the dress. I think that was another lie. I also think that too. After telling him I did not want to be together anymore, I asked him about everything that happened surrounding the wedding.

I got no real answers out of him, and till this day, I have no real closure. My best assumption is that he got sucked into misogynist forums surrounding purity and made up a story to bring it up to me. Our breakup was pretty nasty since he talked about me a lot online. For the most part, I had support. No one ever reached out to me or threatened me, but it's still annoying having my feed filled with rumors I cheated and broke up our engagement over nothing.

There was a lot of name-calling as well. Apparently, I'm fat, I let myself go, I look miserable without him. Eventually, he stopped on his own, as I never acknowledged any of it. Even with the online harassment, he never really fought to save our engagement. I was actually hurt by how he seemed equally as ready to part ways. We have no contact with each other at all, but I do know that last month he actually got engaged again.

All I know about the girl is that she is 23, a hardcore Catholic, and actually looks very sweet. For her sake, I hope they work out.

I still do not talk to Ryan's mom. Sorry to disappoint. She was very kind to me throughout everything, but for me to continue talking to her would be a bit weird. I still got a happy birthday text and a Merry Christmas. I did have a date two weeks after I called off my engagement. That didn't go anywhere, and it was never meant to be. For me, the date was just to see if I felt any guilt for moving on, which I had none. I had a huge career shift two months ago, and I'm now living in Philadelphia, far away from all the drama. I'm happy with where I'm at, and he seems happy with his life.

I don't think I'll ever have to interact with him again. - Wow. - Well, good for her. - All right, queen. - No drama in Philadelphia. - Yeah, zero drama in Philadelphia. I think the little lies just shows he just had no respect for her. - Yeah. - And no respect for anyone. Just seems like a weird guy. - Yeah. You're gonna lie about dumb things, make them funny at least. - Yeah. - Amen. - I just am so fascinated by the manosphere.

because it's just so prevalent right now. And I just wonder if it's like, these dudes are so insecure that when they read these forums that make them believe by being a man you are inherently just great without having to do anything, that that just kind of helps their insecurity or something. I'm just like, what is it that's getting all these dudes so latched onto it? It's just crazy. Yeah, it's kind of like a...

It's almost like this power that they just feel like is assigned to them, like they just kind of get it. So then when they're put in these situations of feeling a loss of control or like they are less than, which in this case was he was clearly insecure about

being a virgin and her not being one, that he was like, well, I need to make this better, probably found some kind of online community or listened to something where he was like, I shouldn't be feeling like this because I'm a man. And then tried to just dominate and assert that power, though it was not welcomed in any way. - Right, yeah, what's funny

Funny to me is, like, these, like, this mindset is so designed, like, I feel like what they're fed is, like, this is how you will end up, like, getting married. Like, this is how you'll get a girl. But every time with these stories, it's always how they fumble the fucking bag. Like, they always are in the, like, ideal situation. They always are with, like, they're about to get married to, like, an incredible person. Right. And then it causes them to destroy it all.

That's what happens every time in these stories at least. I don't know, it's just weird to me. - Right, almost like a self-sabotage right before. - It really is. - This next one's gonna go great for him. - Yeah, this next-- - Oh, the next relationship? - This next marriage is definitely gonna work out. - Yeah, I foresee no issues. - Because she looks super sweet. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, next story. This is a 54-year-old man. I am at a loss as what to do with my wife,

Aesthetically beautiful? She's aesthetically beautiful.

You can be a studded. I guess he's saying like, not only do I find her beautiful, she is beautiful and everyone acknowledges it. Wow. Earlier this year she was diagnosed with uterine cancer, stage one, and had a full hysterectomy. I was never concerned about the cancer. It was diagnosed early, dealt with quickly, and she made a full recovery. I took time off of work to look after her after the surgery and all seemed well.

There were some to be expected emotional instances on her part, and although I am not an emotional person, we dealt with them together. After her recovery, she was insistent that we start living life to the fullest and took a 10-day trip to Europe, followed by a trip to Belize. We also have a trip to the UK and Spain/Portugal later this year. I am fine with these things, building memories and crossing bucket list adventures off her/our list. I also understand that these are a result of feeling fragile on her part.

She also took up yoga, swimming, and healthy cooking classes. I was fully on board until last week. Last week she came home from work and told me she wanted a hall pass. A one time opportunity for her to have sex with someone else besides me. She said that since her cancer diagnosis, her outlook on life has changed and she doesn't want to be handcuffed from doing things she wants to do. - Sounds like she does want to be handcuffed.

She explained that there is this guy at her work that she has always had some attraction to. She had a name ready, dude. He is leaving the company and she will never see him again. She had us in the first half. He thought she was going to be like Harrison Ford if that happens. Get off my penis.

Is that gaslighting?

Definitely absolutely. No, that's some bullshit. That's not male toxicity. We've read so much male toxicity on the show Thank God that is not male toxicity. No, he's being like, I'm sorry. You can't fuck your coworker I don't want to give you a hall pass to somebody that you literally just named that you want to fuck that you that's great piece of shit I feel like I want to hope us to fuck anybody and I know exactly

- Exactly who it is. - Yeah, no that's fucking crazy. - And you're holding me back. - I don't consider myself to be toxic and if not wanting your wife of 20 plus years to have sex with someone else is insecure, then I guess I'm insecure. I told her that I appreciated her talking to me about this, but approval via-- - I mean, I appreciate it.

I appreciate that. That's sick dude. Um, but approval via coercion is not approval I also said that I do not appreciate her language in describing my as of yet unknown Reaction to this very large issue that could affect the rest of our marriage slash life. It's so true It's just being like hey, so can I fuck this guy at work? Also if you say no, I think you're a bad person But how but how are you the floor is yours? I will fucking hate you forever. Go over the floor is yours. Yeah Is there any more there's a lot more? Oh

- Oh no, no, no. Oh no. - Oh wait, I just wanna say, I love him being like, "Yeah, then call me insecure, bro." - Yeah, I love that. - I like still after all that, he's like, "I appreciate your honesty." - Yeah. - "When I got up in the morning, she basically said that she was sorry for putting such a large decision solely on my shoulders and that to help, she was taking the decision away from me."

She booked a hotel near where her coworkers are having a party/send off for this guy and she would spend the night there with him and hope that I would be here when she got back.

that she would answer any questions I have about the night after it happened, but not before. She will not tell me who he is or anything about him because she knows me too well and that I will dwell and obsess over him. And that would make it too real for me, which is pretty accurate. Her POV is that the less I know, the better, which contradicts the offer to tell me anything I want to know after it happened.

I think she knows I don't wanna know/ask anything or she simply will not tell me. Part of me thinks at least she has been honest with me and she has been through a lot since finding out she had cancer so maybe I should just let it happen. I certainly have no concept of what she went through so I cannot dismiss how this affected her mental state/outlook on life.

Part of me wants to put my foot down and say this is not going to happen and deal with those consequences when they happen. Her BFF called me callous for even suggesting that I wouldn't let it happen because I have no idea what she went through. I find it hard to believe that she is okay with the possibility of throwing away 20 plus years of marriage over some guy that she has had no relationship with outside of work and that I should just call her bluff.

Maybe she thinks similarly that I won't throw away the marriage because of one encounter. I just don't know what to do. I empathize with her and then an instant later I am angry with her. Part of me wants to know who this guy is. What does he look like? What has he got that is so enthralling for her? Is he just a safe option? Is he married? Does his wife know? Would I be a callous asshole for saying no? What can I do besides walking away?

I like how she was like, look, I'm an empath. I can tell you're going to be mad. So I'm taking, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to go check. I'm going to fuck anyway. I'm going to just fuck him so that, I'm going to make this easy for you. So you don't feel any pain. Right. Wow. She's a huge piece of shit. Oh, absolutely. And this man is like, he is doing the exact opposite of the toxicity where he's like, I want to say no, but is

Is there any world in which that would not be okay? Like he's fully evaluating that instead of just kind of being like, no, you shouldn't cheat on me. He's instead going that extra level of being like, do I need to be giving this extra thought because of the unique circumstances of this situation? But frankly, no, he doesn't. He's giving me a little bit of like, he's been in a controlling relationship for a long time. And so he's like, he's like, yeah, I guess I'm trying to see your point. It's like,

Think you're trying really hard to see her point because she's probably like I don't know it just it just gives me the vibes of someone I don't know these people but it's just like come on, but yes, no this is straightforward like like None, I don't want to say none of this but a lot of behavior just like doesn't happen in a vacuum Right like it's never like that's what I mean. Yeah. Yeah, like you it feels a little bit of conditioned Like you came back more selfish. That's crazy. It's pretty objectively

Cruel is a strong word. It's pretty cruel. - And I think so too, especially because in everything that he described, he has been giving her so much freedom. He has been her rock. It sounds like he's been incredibly supportive and communicative all throughout their relationship, especially post-recovery.

and it seems like she's just taking advantage of that now. She's completely taking him for granted where she's like, well now that you're letting me do all of these new things, here's another new thing that you're just gonna be okay with. - Yeah, no she's in her own world now. And maybe she's always been in her own world. Maybe she's always been really selfish and now she has an opportunity to use something

as like a means of getting more of what she wants. - Absolutely. - Like, I'm not discounting how awful all of that probably was. Having cancer, from what I know from people who've had it and stories I've heard, nightmare. But that doesn't mean you get to fucking cheat on your husband. - No. - Yeah. - Like, that doesn't mean shit. Once you're...

- You're still a person, like living life. - That's Walter White behavior, bro. - It's true, truly. - If you've had just like a change of heart, if you truly do think you have all of these new values and are seeking that from someone else, then that's a different conversation. That's like maybe I'm not getting enough out of this marriage.

But to think that just a one time piecing away, like having this little love affair will then resolve that? It sounds like it's not just gonna be a one time thing. She's then maybe gonna hop onto something else or someone else. - Totally, oh absolutely. - Just let her live, bro. - No, this is not a one time thing. - Oh, letting her live, bro. - This is not a one time thing. And also what I already preemptively hate is that if he stands his ground or says like, hey, I want a divorce, she's gonna call him such a bad person. - Oh yeah. - For thinking about himself.

It's like wait come on like and that's where the gaslighting comes in is that it's rewriting his Perspective because then he is like oh I'm a bad person for not letting my wife cheat on me Which is not accurate to the situation and the BFF is obviously not helping either. Yeah, whatever the fuck

Fuck them. - So you hate her. So you fucking hate your wife. - Yeah, yeah. I wanna play matchmaker. Like I want the girl in Philadelphia to contact him. - Oh yeah. - Or there's no drama there. - There's no drama in Philly. Tell him to go to Philly. - There's a couple comments. Kinda think this is the way your marriage will be from now on.

With her epiphany, she wants to relive her life and she is going to do it regardless of your feelings. I think she's being rather selfish and probably only threatens this because she thinks you are beaten down and will simply put up with it. Perhaps not the best time for trips and frills. She wants the single life, let her see what that means.

Someone else said, "You're not callous or insecure. "Changes to the marriage require two yeses, "and if there's one no, either that item doesn't happen "or you get divorced. "Unfortunately, your wife has decided that she wants "to be single and is doing this, so you will leave, "but she won't take the blame of being the one "choosing to end the marriage, "because she gave you a heads up first. "That's why her friends are on her side about it." - Now I get why he called her aesthetically beautiful, 'cause there's nothing beautiful about her on the inside. - Ooh!

Alright Update, that's a big one What do you think's gonna happen? She fucked Jeff from HR. She's definitely gonna fuck Jeff from HR My hope is that he divorces her but I think she's going to try to make him feel like the worst person ever for First for like thinking about himself for once. Yeah, I think I think he freed himself. I

Let's see if he freed himself. I received a ton of advice that I couldn't possibly respond to. I do appreciate the people who took time to offer advice in the comments or via private message. It has been an exhausting couple of days. I was hoping that my opposition to her plans would give her pause, but unfortunately that did not happen.

I said I am a hard no and I am not sure how I will feel about you if you go ahead with it. I was met once again with, this is for me, it will be one time, what can I say to help you deal with it? You'll get over it, we were meant to be regardless of the situation. Remarks leading up to Saturday. She left Saturday, ostensibly to meet her coworkers, but in reality, fuck the guy.

I asked her to text me when she was leaving for the bar and when she did I asked her if she was really going to go through with this. After her response, I'm not answering any more questions tonight. I will see you tomorrow. I blocked my wife. Then I did something either stupid or brilliant. I went to the bar where the get together was happening. Jesus Christ. - Oh my God, keep reading. - He dressed as the coworker. - Hi, Jeff. Well,

Not the bar, but a transit bench across the street. I waited for a long time. It was running through my mind leading up to this event that I needed to know who this guy was, maybe to compare myself against him, to see what he had that I do not. I didn't know what his fit was. He had like a big trench coat on. He's aesthetically cute. It was driving me crazy not knowing who he was and what was so special about him that she would ruin a marriage for.

After what seemed like eternity, a woman that I recognized from my wife's office left the bar and got in a cab. Soon other people started filing out and a whole group came out and people were hugging a man and shaking his hand. I assumed that I had my guy. I didn't see my wife and had a brief thought that maybe she called it all off. I unblocked her and there were no messages.

Everyone said their goodbyes and left dude was standing outside for a few minutes And then my wife came out she looked around took his hand and started walking away together of all the emotions I went through trepidation sadness anger It was disgust that really encapsulated the event for me this guy was short fat and bald all the things I cannot compete with okay Okay, dude all the things I can't compete with all the things I cannot compete with I

Ultimately, I felt like a pervert for watching from a distance. I followed until they got to the hotel and then turned around and went home. Yeah, maybe he meant to say like... I'm not those things? I think he's being like, oh, he's not better than me. Maybe he's really funny.

I think he was being sarcastic. Like, all the things I can't compete with. And he's like, he's just being mean to this person. Which, in this situation, I'm like, alright, for that heated fucking moment, yeah. I don't love it.

I don't like it. But he's watching his wife. He's watching his wife walk away with a purse. I yes Anyways, Danny DeVito. He truly described Danny. That's who I'm picturing and honestly If she had said if she had said her hall pass was Danny DeVito, we'd all be treating this a little different Unfortunately, yeah

I woke up Sunday morning and put a lock on the master bedroom door. I moved her things to the spare room and left a note asking her to find other accommodations as quickly as possible. I visited another friend who is a lawyer and he gave me some sage advice and a couple of recommendations for divorce attorneys and made introductions. My wife had been calling me numerous times since around 11 or so. Once blocked, the calls go to voicemail. I listened to the first couple but felt nothing but some satisfaction when she couldn't get through to me and she was obviously becoming concerned.

I didn't want to go home, but I left in such a hurry that I didn't plan an overnight properly. I got home around nine and as for my buddy's advice, I recorded the interaction. I was halfway up the stairs when she came up from the family room asking, what is going on? Can we talk? I thought we talked about this. Just answered with, I'm not interested in discussing this tonight.

So, sounds like he's gonna get divorced.

- Good for him. - That's where that ends, but. - Good for him. - That's good divorce. - I'm glad. - I can't believe, like the audacity to be like, can we just get back to normal? It's like, holy shit. What a reality you've built for yourself. - And just, she even was like, we talked about this. No we didn't, you threatened him and then walked. - I think this has been 20 years. That's my take, like, 'cause there's a lot of couples like that. And it's just like,

I don't know, it's just sad that to get to a point where you think you can get away with that is fucking crazy. - I just, I feel so bad. All I can do is just think about how he must have felt seeing that, which is why it's like all the stuff that he has written, that makes, obviously was just so hurt. - Yeah, 'cause like I know where I stand on cheating.

If someone says that, if they're just like, "Yeah, I'm gonna go cheat on you," I'd be like, "All right, so we're breaking up right now." - Right, right. - That's just the thing. But anytime someone's like, "Oh, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna see," in my head I'm like, "Don't."

Because that's going to stick with you for fucking ever. You already know the thing. You already know you just need to get out. That would ruin my life. Don't try to seek it out. Like, fuck. I can't imagine. I can see him trying to just hold on to this idea and try. 20 years, yeah. I mean, and also just like, I feel like I know myself and I would also just be like, I need to know why. Like, was there something that I did? Totally. Some sort of reason.

Reasoning behind it because he's done nothing but show up for her. So this kind of seemed like a last-ditch effort But honestly, I'm kind of glad that he did because it took seeing that and feeling those feelings For him to be able to snap and be like I'm done with you and it's important to know that with cheating it it's not you it really isn't about like what do they have that I don't like it's really it's so it's just it's

It's her, like she's living her whole life, there's so much going on. It's like you're out of the equation. - Yeah, I think he truly gained a lot from posting this, which is awesome. - Perspective, yeah. - Perspective and also just like all of these thoughts that he was like, am I insecure, am I being callous, am I being toxic?

And it sounds like he got an overwhelming amount of people saying like, "No, you're being gaslit. "You're doing great." And then he was able to reverse it and be like, "Great, now I have the confidence, "I have the backing to know that I am not being toxic. "I'm instead just being completely reasonable." And so now he felt strong enough to hold that up and really hold his ground. So I'm really happy for that. - Yeah, I think for people like him,

It's just you have to ask yourself the question of like does does my partner respect me as much as I respect them And it's like it takes like two seconds to be like no absolutely not in this situation. It's just like okay then no It's a partnership. It's supposed to be equal and I love what that other person said as well in that a marriage two yeses or

If one person says no, it's a disagreement, might lead to divorce or whatever and whatnot. But that's, like, marriage is a commitment. Unless otherwise spoken that it's going to be an open relationship. Like, you're straight up committing the rest of your life to each other. I don't understand why a hall pass necessarily needs to come up, again, after a diagnosis and a recovery. Like, it just, it feels like she's tried to correlate these things and that was her gaslighting him. I wonder if she said hall pass.

It sounds like it. I wonder if like she used that phrase. How long has hall pass been around? A minute. But not the movie. It was before the movie. Okay, next story. This is only from two days ago. This is recent. Juicy. Ooh. I found my wife's secret Google account and I'm sick to my stomach. Boy. What's she been Googling? Let's get sick. This is a 36 year old man. I met my wife Bailey, who's 33. Oh.

I met my wife Bailey who's 33 nine years ago through mutual co-workers and we hit it off immediately I felt absolutely head over heels with this woman. She was everything I was looking for I had gotten out of a toxic dare I say abusive long-term relationship right before that with a woman Bailey had been acquainted with but not friends with I had her blocked on everything and had no contact with her since breaking up and

We got married right after the tail end of the pandemic, bought our first house together and started trying to conceive. That was difficult because Bailey has PCOS, but last year she finally gave birth to our first daughter. I'm having a blast being a dad. It's kind of a dream come true. I finally got my happy life with my perfect wife until last Monday.

My laptop's battery shit the bed, so I opened up Bailey's work tablet with an attached keyboard. You can set it up like a monitor to check on some tax stuff. She wasn't home. It was just me and the baby, but we've never asked permission to use each other's devices. We've always been open like that. There's nothing for us to hide. That's what I thought. When I opened up the internet, I noticed she had the incognito tab open.

Never in a million years did I expect to discover what I did. My wife has a secret Google account with a photo album saved called XX. So I clicked on it. Did I discover an affair? Nudes? Nope.

In this Google album were over 300 photos, 348 actually, of my ex, the woman I was with right before I met Bailey, the woman who tormented me and made me feel worthless. The album said it was started back right around the time Bailey and I started dating and was updated as recently as two weeks ago. The photos range from candid shots with family to pictures at her work functions. There were even pictures from her yearbook.

I don't know how Bailey could have found her high school yearbook photos, photos from vacations, ID photos from work, pictures of her in crowds, screenshots of videos, and screen recordings of videos. Just her. The other people in the photos would be scribbled out or the people would be cropped and zoomed in just on my ex.

There were other disturbing things I found too. There was another album with just zoomed up pictures of my ex's hair. Come to think of it, Bailey had recently started wearing her hair different and my ex had a very identifiable hair type. There was another album with screenshots of comments on social media. Of course, I can't find them because I have her blocked, like Facebook groups she's in and public posts. And my ex is very low key on social media. I can't imagine the lengths Bailey went to find them. My ex literally lives in another country now.

There were also different links to the exact outfits she was wearing like very specific blouses and trousers You'd have to really go looking for to find a specific water bottle I remembered her purchasing and identical hiking boots and sandals So basically my partner of almost a decade has been single white female in my ex-girlfriend

has secretly stalked her to the point of buying her exact clothes and changing her hair, and now I'm starting to realize Bailey's new interests over the years were just my exes. Bailey has turned herself into my ex. Everything feels like a lie. Our love feels like a lie.

The things we share feel like a lie. I threw up and had a panic attack. I looked at our daughter and felt betrayed. I haven't confronted her yet. I don't know if I want to. I want to run away with our daughter. I want to print out all of her pictures, leave them on the table and disappear. I don't know what to do. I just want to throw up.

That's up there as far as one of the craziest stories we've ever read. That could be anything. That could be anything, man. That could be anything. That is haunting. That's some Gone Girl shit. I actually, I'm trying to think of myself in this situation and I think I'd rather have found out she was cheating. Oh, definitely. Because that's simpler. That's simpler. It's like, okay, you're a normal bad person. Right. This is like, what the fuck? Scary town. This is, it's frankly frightening. This is terrifying. No, it's...

Actually, oh my god. It is stalking. It's full-on stalking. It's literally unlawful. She is committing crimes. Everything that she has done. But just the psychological aspect of like, for ten years. No, no. And who knows what else, too. This is the only thing that he's found. She probably has a storage unit. Everybody's got a storage unit. That's creepy. I don't. I don't. I don't have one. I don't do that. I don't do that.

But if you have a storage unit, it's creepy. - Whoa. I guess he has to confront her. You have to. - I think you deserve answers for the sake of your daughter. - That's what sucks, they have a kid. - They have a kid. - If there was no kid, I'd be instantly out. I'd be like, holy shit, that's wild. - I feel like, again, it's a matter of safety.

Because the confrontation like I would yeah, what would happen wouldn't be holding my daughter for that one No, definitely and I feel like I would also if anything like maybe do it at a public place Like maybe like leave all that aside or or just be like hey I'm going away for a little bit give yourself some space some time like I think Can you strategically you'd have to cook up a plan? Can you just imagine like being with someone for ten years and then suddenly in an instant? They're a stranger That's crazy

Why do you think she's doing this? Obviously, it's so unbelievably unhealthy. I don't know if there's a legitimate... There's no legitimate reason. I mean, I think it's like legit... I think it's just she's very unwell and insecure and, you know, maybe was...

I don't know, but it's a deep unwellness that's like Undiagnosed by me for sure. No, it's it's beyond pay grade of diagnosis. Yes. It's like yeah, I don't think there's like a legitimate or Logical place that this comes from obviously I think this is like this is something truly like a professional needs to assess much to unpack Yeah, I can see it in a world of

where it might have been reinforced for her. Like maybe it was something that she had started to do and then as he speaks about this relationship being healthy and going in a great direction, she might have just been assigning it to that. She might have been like, oh well we're doing really well and I'm wearing all the ex's clothes and I'm doing all these things. I need to keep doing them. And it's kind of been headed in that direction. Now they have a kid, again the relationship is going so well so she's continued to do this

Pattern that she almost might think is the reason why her marriage is going super well. She's also keeping it a secret So she knows it's wrong. She knows it's like wouldn't be approved by him she's probably I mean she's probably like ashamed but like also probably like Scared that maybe if she doesn't continue to do it then he'll he like won't love her for who she is like I think it's like a deep

Sad unwellness. Yeah, but I think it's it's I don't know if it's necessarily something that can be repaired between the two of them because of how long it's been and it's it's it's become a lot more than just like a dependency, but It seems like very much a need if she has committed now her life. Oh, it's an obsession. Yeah, I

- No, a professional needs to be involved in this situation for sure. We don't have an update, but we do have comments and the OP replied to several of them. Someone said, "Holy cow, that is definitely alarming." - Holy cow. - Holy cow. - Gee golly, mister. - Understatement of the century.

- I think cow is what I'd say for really crazy. - Gee willikers, bro. - The best thing to do is address it now to see what'll change if she no longer has someone to replicate. The toxic side of me would slowly start mentioning things like, you know, you really do remind me of someone, and nonchalantly bite into an apple and walk away.

- What the fuck? - No, that's bad advice. That's horrible advice. - That's terrible advice. - They put their fedora on. - A Redditor, yeah, I was gonna say like, oh, this reminds me of someone else. - No, this does remind me of someone. - Are they fucking in Death Note? - Come on, a who? - Oh.

- Opie, I feel like what's worse is that she's subtly made these changes over time under my nose. So my ex has a specific career and Bailey didn't express interest in switching careers to the exact same thing until after I had mentioned what my ex did. Didn't notice at the time, but I remember telling her, "Ex went to school for that."

The hair was more recent, the outfits and objects slowly over time. The interests, I'm not sure how much she's stolen personality-wise from my ex and what she actually likes. It's all incredibly exhausting and confusing.

Someone else said, "Why do you think you didn't notice her morphing into your ex? How similar is she now? Is it just physical or behavioral interests, job, etc?" OP said, "That's a good question. I'm trying to figure that out myself. It wasn't all at once and it was little things. Honestly, now that I'm starting to nitpick our entire relationship now, about a year ago she changed religions to my exes.

"Again, I didn't think much of it, "but she definitely knew this was my ex's religion." - You know, I'm kind of scared for the ex as well. - Oh, for sure! - Like, I kind of am just like the, something definitely to consider if he just decides to flee with the daughter is like,

- Should he warn the ex? I mean, he clearly said that she didn't treat him well. I think he used the word worthless? - I think the ex even lives in a different-- - Sounds like abusive. - I think he said the ex even lives in a different country. - Right. - No. - But it would be so difficult to consider that factor as well of like, do I tell this person who has made me feel like shit for all the time that I've been with her? But also, this could be a dangerous situation. - I think that's fair. I think that's very fair. I'm also a little, like look,

You're not gonna run into the assumption of like oh my partner's obsessed with my ex and they're becoming them But like these are big changes that he's talking about she switched careers She switched religions all these things that match his exes you was switching religions is great I'm a little like I would have made you open with that one. Yeah, like the haircut It's a lot of stuff, but it's not his fault. I

You wouldn't expect this. I wonder what the hairstyle was. That's what I'm thinking. The hair is a big one. Someone said, the biggest question that comes to mind now is, is she treating you like your ex did? Like, how far is she going to take this in becoming your ex? Is it just the clothes, looks, job, or is she taking it even further? To be honest, the level of stalking she is showing is just terrifying and divorce-less separation worthy.

OP said, "My wife is a beautiful individual inside and out. "She's never abused me, belittled me, "or even called me an asshole as a joke. "My ex did the opposite. "I don't know if I want a divorce. "I just want answers. "I wanna know who I had a child with."

This this reminds me the thing is I've read a lot of stories like this where it's the with the flip side where a guy is dating a girl and her ex was awful to her and I think what a lot of guys think is like your ex was awful to you and you're still with him and

So all of these features and stuff you must be so attracted to that you would tolerate being treated so poorly that, oh, that's what you're actually attracted to. - Or maybe in like a twisted way too, she's like kind of trying to amend that by being all of those same things but treating him better.

- Yeah. - Which isn't, again, an excuse, but it might be some of the reasoning that's going on in her head of why this might be okay, that she's trying to help fix some of that for him. - I think also the problem is we're trying to find a logical-- - Yeah, I mean-- - I don't know if there's logic here. - He said it best, he's like, "I just want, I need answers. "I need to hear it from her, because that's--

Everything else is just pure conjecture. Hopefully, hopefully. I don't know if that's the right word. I think it is. No, it is. It is. Hopefully we do get an update or something at some point because this is recent. This was two days ago? Two days ago. So the fact that we haven't heard anything since, it's been two days, I'm guessing probably hasn't gone well. It would be a quick update if it was like, hey, I talked to her and actually it's cool. Right. It wasn't even her iPad. It wasn't hers. It was actually my ex's iPad that my wife stole.

- No. - 'Cause she killed her. - He needs to get a secret apartment and then he can live there with the daughter while he makes some money. He needs a longer plan because again, she-- - A secret apartment? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm telling you because he needs to also build up a smarter plan because I think her plan is very convoluted and she has a lot of, again,

probably a lot more things that are hidden. So I feel like he can be a little bit smarter about it instead of just trying to get out and hope for safety. - Yeah. - I feel like there is more, again, talking to her would make it better, hopefully,

But depending on how that goes, I can't stop thinking that there's more lengths that she'll go to. She's going to extreme lengths. And the one I'm thinking about is, he's like, there's a lot of shots of her in crowds and stuff. And I'm like... That's some Jason Bourne shit. Did you...

Travel and take photos of her like I'm like what the fuck what those aren't photos that you just found like yeah It's like scratching out other people like scary. No this sounds like a serial killer like that's really scary. It's truly terrifying Hopefully we get an update at some point. We will read it here um

- Oh my god, that's one of the scariest. - She's planning something big. - Well let's move on to our next story. My son's friend's parents want to adopt him. My son, his friend's parents want to adopt my son. - Oh my god. - Dude, we just love your kids so much. - I, a 24 year old woman, am a single mom to my son Owen, who's eight years old.

It's been just us since day one. His father isn't in the picture and has been able to avoid child support for years now. Yes, I've tried everything. My own parents disowned me. We aren't on the poverty line by any means, but we definitely live paycheck to paycheck in a one-bedroom apartment. It's not ideal, and I hope within the next couple of years, we'll be someplace bigger. For now, it's our situation.

I've raised Owen to know that money isn't everything. We may not have a lot. He won't always have the newest this or that, but we have each other. The two of us are very close. He has never gone without the basics, but I admit he doesn't get a lot of fun extras. I try to save a little here and there to make birthdays and holidays fun, but it's still never anything glamorous, and I think Owen was fine with that, until recently anyways. In our area, all the public schools are based on a lottery system.

"so your child has a fair shot of going to any of them, "so long as you put in their name. "Our neighborhood school is not great "and in a pretty crappy area, "so I decided to put him in a different one across town. "It's near my job so it works out. "Last year when he was in second grade, he met Charlie. "They began hanging out a lot after school "with Owen going to his place. "I met Charlie's parents, Nate and Paige, "a couple of times before this began. "They seemed very nice and supportive. "Owen always had a great time at their house.

Charlie occasionally came to our apartment, but usually they were at his place, which made sense. I work and there's really not much for them to do here, even when I am off.

Summer breaks are easy to find care as there are several free or low cost camps that I can put Owen in. It's the shorter breaks such as Christmas and spring that are harder. Spring break of 2022, I managed to just miss registration. Paige is a stay at home mom and offered to take Owen for the week. I was hesitant to ask so much of her, but she insisted. He had a really fun time with them.

They did a ton of activities and Paige refused my attempts to pay her back at least some. I couldn't afford all. I admit I did feel a tad uncomfortable with her spending this much on my son, but at the time I didn't want to deprive Owen of this stuff. Summer came and Owen ended up going on vacation with

I was again very hesitant, but the experience was something I could never give Owen and it wasn't too far away He had a blast I kept telling Nate and Paige that there's no way I could ever pay them back and they kept insisting that they loved having Owen around They told me what a great kid. He was sweet respectful at one point I really pressed Paige as to why she was so insistent on having Owen around so much

Right? Right?

This continued for a bit and come Christmas break of 2022, Paige and Nate insisted that I not even bother to try to get Owen into a camp. They'd take care of him for me. I was grateful. They ended up getting him more Christmas gifts than I did. I tried to set my pride aside because it was about Owen, not me. This is still when things finally started seeming off to me.

I understood a gift on his birthday and while they didn't get him as many gifts as they got Charlie, it was a lot more than you would typically get your kid's friend. Fast forward to now, spring break was last week and this time Paige and Nate didn't offer to take care of him during the day while I worked. They asked if Owen could spend the entire week at their house. Honestly, it meant I could pick up some more shifts and save up for the bike Owen wants for his birthday. So I said yes.

I went to pick him up on Saturday afternoon. The kids were playing out back, so Nate and Paige asked to talk to me. They sat me down and said they love Owen and he's always such a joy to have. I thanked them profusely for all they'd done for him. Paige suggested that Owen stay a little longer.

I pointed out Easter was Sunday, plus school started up on Monday. They said they could take him to school. I felt weird and said, no, it was time for Owen to come home. That's when Nate suggested that Owen stay with them long term. I could still see him, but they would take care of him. I thought they were joking and said, like, what, you'd be his guardians or something? They got quiet and reality rushed over me. I pointed out that this wasn't a movie. They can't just get custody.

They started spouting some legal stuff about how I could assign them as guardians and they would help make this transition smooth. They told me to think about Owen and what's best for him. I told them there was no way in hell I was going to give up my son. I grabbed Owen and we left. I've blocked their numbers. Owen has no clue what's going on. I'm keeping him tomorrow and took the day off work to figure some stuff out. Legally, they can't take him. But now I know what they want and I'm terrified.

I don't want him going back to that school. Do we move? I'm so lost and I feel so stupid because looking back all the warning signs were there I know Owen is going to be devastated losing Charlie page and Nate. How am I ever going to explain it to him? I

My god. That is complicated as fuck. First of all, she's not stupid for not seeing that because who in their right mind? This all sounded normal to me because like growing up, I grew up in the suburbs and I feel like there was a lot of that shit going on. Totally. Yeah, it would be like literally like, yeah, I would take friends on family vacations, stuff like that. Yep, yep, yep.

- This all sounds normal. That all sounded honestly normal to me. - I think it was weird when it was like, why doesn't he just stay here long term? Like that felt like the first time that it was like, wait. - And maybe like the, you know, he's like the, I mean there is, I do see people saying like, oh, he's like the brother my son never had. But also like, you know, like we wanted to have like, you know, we couldn't give him another brother.

I don't know, maybe that, in retrospect, looks a little weird. - In retrospect. - Yeah, like having all the info, but in a vacuum, it's like, yeah, no. - I could also see someone being like, you know, we wanted to have another kid, we couldn't, but it's so great that Owen's around, 'cause it's giving him that person to hang out with, that friend. - And ultimately, their actions now ripped

Owen away from Charlie altogether when they could have integrated it in a different way that had the the parents all become friends and you know, the biggest thing that stuck out to me was, you know, I so appreciate that, you know, she's a single mom and she's Implementing all these great values about how money is and everything and you know to be grateful and whatnot but then here are these

this pair of parents who are clearly looking at Owen and the mom and thinking that that isn't a situation that is also okay just because it's one parent. - It's fucking crazy. It's a crazy view. This unfortunately, it's just so disrespectful to her.

- Right. - To look her in the eyes and go, "Think what's best for your son. "What's best for your son is for him to not be in your situation." - She's plenty capable. - Like, dude, what the fuck are you talking about? - She's doing fine. She's raised a wonderful kid who you now want to adopt. - Yeah, bro, what the hell? - I'm gonna play devil's advocate a little. I wonder if things aren't as rosy as the posters. - That's always possible with Reddit posters. - You know, and it's like, you know,

'Cause she's like, "We don't have everything." And his basic needs are met. But she's constantly talking about picking up shifts and things like that. And I wonder if maybe,

and always putting him, he's going away to summer camps and stuff like that, and maybe he's not happy at those summer camps, and maybe she's not coming home until super late, which is not ideal. It doesn't mean you should adopt. They shouldn't have just leapt to, hey, we want to adopt your son, but it's like, hey, maybe if you need financial help or something like that. There's so many versions of this that I think could have been better.

If this family truly is well off, like it seems like they are, it's like, dude, do you guys wanna move to a place that has a guest house or something? It's like, hey, do you and Owen wanna move in? - Yeah. - Or something like that. - And it's just Owen and the mom. It's not like there's this whole family that they would be taking on or anything, but you're right, that there's a huge gap that they just

hopped over. - I would feel like humiliated kind of. - Oh, like hey, we wanna adopt your son. - That's so disrespectful. - There's so many easier ways to help that would not be so discredited. - It's also just like, their thing in terms of like, we can give him all these things, but what's more important is that the kid is with his mom. And that, the damage that would do, to be like, yeah, your mom, we're adopting you, we're your guardians now, and you're gonna live with, it's like,

As an eight year old, what's your comprehension of that? - He's old enough to be like, wait, where's my actual mom? - Like if you actually care about Owen, like help her out, like help them both out. She's trying so hard. Yes, with every Reddit story it's like,

what is the actual situation. - Yeah, I wanna talk to Owen. - We never know. - Put Owen on the phone. - Let's get Owen in. - Call Owen in. - Some comments here. It's one thing to offer support for a single parent with less means. It's another to take up guardianship of someone else's child. They're not thinking right and Owen would always be second class to their son. They think they're doing you and Owen a favor, but they're really just buying their son a brother and playmate. It's so weird. I do see that, 'cause yeah, it's like,

She addressed like, oh, well, their son still is their son. And like, it is kind of like, oh, we want to do this for our son. It's like, I don't know. He's not a toy. I view it a little, I do view this, I don't like to throw these things out there, but it's like classes to me. I'm just like, oh, you little like,

we can just buy you and your son will entertain us. - It's a little dehumanizing. - It's totally dehumanizing. - Yeah, yeah, I don't like it one bit. Again, it goes back to the values. The mom clearly has different ones. She implemented that on the kid and that's I think why I didn't jump to maybe the situation is worse than it's described because again, she seems like she is

doing her absolute best and it seems like it is hopefully enough for Owen. This is now going beyond what he needs and is giving him the extra things of what he wants. - Right. - Yeah.

Someone else said, "I would absolutely notify the school "that he is not to go with Charlie's family. "Document everything, dates he stayed, gifts, et cetera, "because they sound sick enough to call child services "and make a claim that you're negligent or unfit or something, "and I'm sure they will say they have had Owen "for long periods of time because you couldn't handle "being a parent." We have an update.

Well, what everyone feared would happen did. Tuesday, he returned to school. I told him he could still talk with and play with Charlie. I was hesitant to drop him off, but figured you can't live in fear. Most afternoons, my son takes the bus to a local rec center for aftercare. I had already told the school everything and that Nate and Paige were not to pick Owen up. I managed to call and even make sure he got on the bus. Aftercare was also made aware of the change in pickup list.

Well, a half hour later, I got a call that Paige had tried to pick up my son. The front desk refused to release him. Didn't say why, just that she was no longer on the list. She wouldn't leave, and the police were called. She was escorted out of the building. While she wasn't brought to jail, there is a police report, and I'm using this to go to court and get an order of protection. Paige and Nate are also banned from the rec center, so if they do show up, they will get arrested for trespassing.

The police are working on ways to protect us and the local social service office has been made aware of the situation So they should try to make a claim they're aware of the situation that that's fucking crazy

That's terrible. No, that's that's that is that is kidnapping if you show up and try to pick up someone's kid without talking to the parent That's kidnapping and they fucking stayed until the police refused to leave. That's they they took the train to crazy town Car and drive away, bro

- Yeah, full on, full on. Wow. - Paige! Earl! - Wow. Well, I hate to say it, that's kind of like the best thing that could happen, 'cause now it's documented of like, oh, these people are a threat to your son. - I think she, yeah.

now that it's documented. - Yeah. - Like that. - It didn't take long for them to overstep. - It just sucks, it just fucking sucks. - It really sucks for these kids. - Oh, dude. - Poor Owen. - I'm just like, I just also, it just, I'm sad at people who think like, what kids need is like stuff. And I'm like, no, what a kid needs is like,

Good relationships and like right here. No and poor poor Charlie - right like all of this They just kids they don't know any better in these these two parents are just thinking that they clearly know best enough to go so far to literally commit a crime and Separate Charlie from the best friend. I don't even think I don't even think my take is I don't think they're thinking of Charlie I think they want this is the life they wanted and they're like we can just take it from someone else

- Yeah, they went on these little family vacations and they were like, oh how great is our little family of four. - It's our life, we're gonna make this happen. - Yeah, we're gonna get what we want because we can, we can buy it. - Jesus. Alright, moving on, but damn. These are some crazy ones. - Yeah, yeah. - These are some confessions. - How old is that one? - That's from about a year ago, so I-- - Best of luck to Charlie and Owen. - I know, man. Alright, here's our last story. My husband has a second family.

Of what? Of rodents. Yeah. In the attic. No. The ultimate cliche has happened in my life and I'm absolutely broken. My husband, my rock, has been having an affair for over 17 years. The rock? The rock. Do I?

Dwayne. My husband, Dwayne the Rock Johnson. My husband, my rock, has been having an affair for over 17 years. We have been married for over 25 years. We have three beautiful children, two in college and one who still lives at home. But turns out he's had another set this whole time.

My husband is an insurance broker. He has multiple branches over the country, which he spends week on, week off. Okay, I'm sorry. Like a traveling insurance salesman with a second family. It's like the most stereotypical. It's insurance. Yeah. The most stereotypical thing.

As she says, it's the most cliche. Turns out on his week off, he's been with his other family in Albuquerque, where his other branch is. He's got a fiance whom he has two kids with, both in their early teens. I found out when I went to make a new Facebook account, and when I searched my husband's first name, another profile with another last name popped up, and through that profile were the links to his fiance's and his other kids' Facebooks. - What an idiot. - Fucking boomers, dude. - My husband is currently,

My husband is currently with said family, and I know it's him because his most recent post is a photo of him and that other family eating dinner. Among those photos were photos of him kissing the girl and him being fatherly with kids who look nearly identical to my husband.

I am absolutely broken. Almost every part of me wants to scream in his face and reprimand him for ruining my life. But another part of me wants to pretend to be ignorant and let it be. Because our life is peaceful, he's good with our kids. He's the main source of financial income. He's loving, but he's also all those things to another family. Not only would I be tearing a gaping hole into my family, I'd be opening up a vortex for them too. My heart is in shambles.

I've never cried so much in my life. My youngest son is currently on a graduation trip with friends and I'm alone 'til my lying, cheating bastard husband comes home. My life is absolutely wrecked. It's literally a movie plot. I'm hoping he'll just come home and it'll be a big misunderstanding why he's kissing a woman with a ring on her finger. I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm tempted to pack a bag and just leave. I can't be in the home where we've raised our kids, where we've spent every Christmas for the last 26 years, and where I've been alone on New Year's taking care of our babies while he works his ass off. I just can't. I want to leave a note for him to come home to, to hurt him like he's hurt me, but I don't think that's possible. I don't know how I'll ever face him again. - Oh my God.

God damn. - What a piece of shit husband. - Yeah. - I'm gonna play devil's advocate now. - No, no, no. - I think I'm always blown away by this stuff because I've said this before, I would never cheat or have an affair because that's just not the person I-- - Why?

I was about to say, because one, that's not the person I am, and to hurt someone like that. But also, because lying or having a secret of that nature is so fucking unbelievably stressful, and I just know I'm like, I couldn't. Also, I know I couldn't do it.

Like, I wouldn't do it, but also I know underneath that I'm like, I also could never pull it off. I would be, it would be so immediately obvious that I would just be like, fuck. To have two families for borderline two decades and to just do that and be nonchalant about that is, I'm just like, you are...

I want to see what your brain looks like. - Pretty audacious. - I mean, honestly, it sounds like he's not very smart about it though, 'cause King made two Facebooks. - But he got away with it, he got away with it for 17 years. - That, and see, that's another, this is another situation with like the stalker who, on the X, it's like, you look back on your marriage and you're like, who was I with? - It's fucking crazy, and it's sad, I feel so bad when people

go through shit for being trusting. Yeah. Like that sucks. It just messes you up. And it's like you did nothing wrong. You should trust people. Yeah. Unfortunately, like that gets taken advantage of. This is on a level that is truly, yeah, like she said, a movie plot. Couple comments. I'm not a therapist, but if it makes you feel any better, it's not you who will ruin anything by calling him out. It's him that caused this and no one else. The damage is done.

Someone else said, he may be waiting for the last kid to leave so he can leave too. Take what you're entitled to, including spouse support, until you remarry. Then never remarry, live in sin, and collect his money. - Yeah, no, I like it's, - Oh, I mean. - Not to give financial advice, but it's like, yeah, I mean, this is like, you could probably sue him for every-- - Oh, well, yeah. - Yeah. - I agree with that because he can't,

Married the other person that's breaking the law. So like he's probably it probably is waiting, right? Right. I definitely have to commend her for Realizing that the families would ultimately be destroyed and it would affect a lot more people similar to that earlier story where she's being empathetic and it's like you don't know and what if what if he's raising each family and they're gonna have to fight each other at a certain point and whoever is deemed the victor gets his Approval and becomes the real family. They get to win the real prize him. Oh

There's an update.

Okay, firstly, thank you so much for the advice. I'm not in any means good with legal things So all legal advice has been noted. I've run an attorney. We're discussing the process He's also told me to gather as much evidence as I could such as photos off the Facebook pages Text messages and recent flight information all has been put into a folder and I'll present it to a judge or jury when we go into some sort of divorce proceeding again, not fully clear with specifics, but it's a good sign I've also been in contact with the other woman

I've told her, explained the situation, and she was equally as distraught. From what I'm aware, she's financially independent from him, and they don't share property. So it seems very clean cut on her behalf. My husband is aware of the fact, I know, and is currently staying in a hotel, but he is unaware the other woman knows. I confronted him when he walked through the door. He started to cry and plead, and it was honestly kind of pathetic.

I mean, I was crying too, but I've chosen to think of him as a pathetic coward for doing this because he is. But anyways, I have my name on the property, we both do, so it's not like I can just kick him out, but he's chosen to stay away for my sake.

"All I am thinking is if he chose to stay away for my sake, "maybe being faithful for my sake "should have been considered too. "Despite this, he's staying away. "He's in a hotel downtown where he calls "every few hours to check up. "I'm no longer sad. "Well, I am, but I'm way more furious than sad currently. "My kids still have no idea, "and my youngest thinks my husband is just working more "in Albuquerque because of a business problem.

I'm still confused as to how to tell them they have two half siblings and two parents, one with an extra backup parent. I'm just feeling very, very unappreciated and unwanted lately, but your kind words have been so helpful. Thank you guys so much. Much love. Sorry, backup parents are crazy. The psychological damage of those parents.

So he's engaged this woman they have two kids together that are like older early teens, but she's financially independent mm-hmm, that's a Interesting situation right? I'm just not heard of a situation like that. He's just going over there and chillin Like I'm like you have two kids together, but like but you're you're paying you're covering it all I don't I I guess there's a lot of nuance probably that she doesn't know yet. Yeah, like she's a pain There's another update

So let's see what's going on. "I won't be going into details about the divorce because it is still ongoing, but do rest assured it is happening. A few people seemed worried I was going to stay with him, and for a period of time I would have, but no, we are divorcing. On that note, I have completely cut contact with him. Our contact is through lawyers only. He officially moved out of the house, and my middle moved back in to help out over the break. My kids have, to my knowledge, cut most contact with him.

but I haven't asked as it is not my place. Also, custody isn't a problem because my youngest turned 18 recently. We have also been in contact with the other family and we even spent Christmas together. Despite being a little awkward at first, his ex-fiance and I are trying our hardest to bring the kids together harmoniously.

And that'll be the last update. I'm logging off of Reddit now. I will continue living my life. I'll try to support my kids through theirs, but I'll forever be thankful for the support and love you all have shown. - Wow! - That's a crazy ending. - Okay, can I just say, this is my emotional reaction, not a take. I don't see the need to combine the families.

We're gonna make a super like I don't see those are two separate families. They're gonna do what the same dad But otherwise they're all strangers and those are teenagers. They're gonna do the John Tucker must die thing I I don't have a problem with it. I'm just saying I'm like, oh, it's it's curious It's an interesting choice. I if I was one of the kids I'd be like we don't need to me. Yeah their family

- That's another family. - Especially being like 18, like having to hang out with like, here's a 15 year old. - 'Cause I'm also of the thought, I'm like, just because we have the same dad doesn't mean we're like family necessarily, you know? Like, I don't know.

I have no problem with people disagreeing with that. I'm saying that's like something that's going through my head. It feels a little unnecessary, but cool. But hey, if you're doing it, you're having a good time. Great. Perhaps not necessary, but I think I actually like that. Yeah? Again, I... They got shit to bond over.

Yeah, I mean, I guess maybe it's therapeutic cuz all of them got all of them got betrayed exactly I'm pulling it from like they were just blindsided and now have lost a member of their family and so it's almost like

Misery loves company kind of like we're all grieving in a way She didn't state if the husband is there. Oh, I don't think the husband's there. I don't think so No, I mean it seems like a mixed Christmas and yeah, like we have also been in con they all cut contact Yeah, it's been Christmas. Yeah. Okay. So in that sense, I guess okay. I

I can see, thinking about it, how it could be therapeutic of like, hey, we all got screwed over together. One family wasn't more important to him. This was, we all kind of dealt with the trauma. Exactly. And they are now, because of this man,

broken families. They now are missing somebody. They're missing a piece of it. And so I, not only do I not see a problem with it, but I actually think it's quite wonderful that they sat together for Christmas. I mean, again, it's based on everybody's comfort. It's so accurate to mention that the kids are definitely much older and

However, they're deciding to deal with it if it is something that isn't necessarily comfortable for them I can also understand being like I I don't want to meet this other family I'm not trying to do that But if everybody is mutually like getting something out of it and they want to be there I I have to say I think it's a beautiful thing Yeah, it feels if it feels like a another rom-com moment. Yeah, I would love to be a fly on the wall for that one Yeah, what do you guys think was the craziest confession? I?

The stalker one. The stalker one is absolutely... The stalker one's pretty... And that's wild because we have a whole separate family here. We got a lot of shit going on. Right. But that stalker one is just... It's kind of unheard of. You just can't predict it. Yeah, you can't predict it. Right. That one, it's just like with all the other ones, it seems like such a clear solution of what to do. But that one, I mean, I was...

Literally was telling the plot of big little lies with the secret apartment I was like I don't even know where to begin to escape from that because there's your usual shitty human behavior And then there's just like wow that's a one in a million thing out of all the photos you could find on your partner's laptop because like It's not when it's when someone says found a bunch of photos on my partner's laptop There's there's a couple things that come to mind, but it's certainly not a

Oh on my partner's laptop are 300 photos of my ex in a crowd crowd and zoomed in with other faces scribbled out I'd be like that's the worst one. Yeah, that's scary one. That's that's again like just a matter of Like personal safety. Yeah, she could be very very dangerous. Yeah, but there are some wild ones this one Let me know in the comments what you thought was the craziest confession because this one is

There's too many stories in this world. Thank you both for being here. - Thank you. - Thanks for getting through that with me. - Confess we did. Oh, I guess we didn't actually confess anything. - You didn't confess anything. But you guys don't have any secrets. - No, not at all. - You guys are-- - You guys don't have any secrets.

No, why would you think that we did? When are we gonna do a Reddit series where we bring one of the people out like, and here's OP. And here they are. We've fully become boring. And she's like, hey. We need to bring two of them. She's dressed as Shane. Ah, I found a new one. We need to bring them all so then we can play matchmaker and be like, you weren't toxic and you weren't toxic. Yep. So maybe you should go get coffee. Yeah.

Man, that first story is seeming real nice right now. - What was that one again? - That was the one where it's just like, oh, this guy contacted me and wants to buy me a house. - Yeah. - That one's lovely. - Oh yeah. - I forgot about that. - Oh, I feel like she should take the house. - Yeah. Anyways, thank you for watching. Let us know what other themes and subreddits you want us to cover. And we'll see ya next Saturday. Goodbye. - Bye.