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Switch to Apple Cash and start sending privately. Apple Cash services are provided by Green Dot Bank, member FDIC. This episode of Distractible is presented by Vitamin Water. Some drinks are fun. Some drinks are functional. But Vitamin Water said, why not both? The Elevate Blue Raspberry, actually very good. As I'm getting older, I found that I'm a raspberry guy. They also have Zero Sugar Rehydrate Pineapple Passion Fruit.
As I'm getting older, I'm finding I'm really a pineapple guy. I'm like Wade, but with apples. Grab a Vitamin Water today. Copyright 2025. Glasso. Vitamin Water is a registered trademark of Glasso. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, Pickering Bob, beloved of elongated animals, has his pals play time diluted, true or false. Wheeling Wade has an aneurysm over arseholes.
and doesn't know his monsters, rights, dicks, or Corsicans. Maidenly Mark is incensed by Apple's inefficiency, sings Beetlejuice, begets his ships, geometry, and Corviday. From podcast affection to brilliant braining. Yes! It's time for 20 Simple Questions.
Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hello and welcome back to Every Giraffe's Favorite Podcast. That's right, you're listening to Distractible. I talked to him. You know at the zoo you can go and you can pay five bucks and you can feed the giraffe? I did that and I was like, hey, what's your favorite podcast? All five of them answered Distractible. Which means that basically every giraffe in the world probably listens. Which I feel like is a pretty cool thing. We should get a plaque or something.
Interesting fun fact aside, I'm your host, my name is Bob, I'm joined, as always, by my competitors for the day, slash hosts when they can manage it, Mark and Wade. Say hi, fellas.
Hey, fellas. You know, for a second there, I thought you were starting like an ad read old style. I went to the zoo and talked to a giraffe. Buy a mattress. I really thought. And then Mark released his trebuchet full of fast food orders. I expected the Vine reference where they're like skiing or snowboarding or whatever and the guy just like flies. I'm a giraffe. I'm a giraffe. For everyone listening, we do want to get back to those and we've said it many times, but
Weird that that came up, but you know how often you get to talk to giraffes. If you've never seen the show before, I'm the host because I won the last one. The two guys are trying to win this one. That means they'll host the next one. Because I'm the host, I have a game. But that comes later because traditionally...
We start by catching up with Smalltalk. So, how's it going, fellas? How you doing? I've got some good things and I've got some annoyances. I've got some grievances to share. And some of you out there are the problem. Alright, sounds like I'm not going to get to my game idea again. I'm excited. Let's do another whole episode where all we do is complain. Let's do it. I spent the past week in Florida and yesterday I was at the airport for like 11 hours because we had a weather flight delay. Whatever. It was fine.
I expected some really annoying Florida drivers and honestly didn't really get many of it. They were pretty okay. There was a lot of traffic, but like there wasn't a lot of like guy on his lawnmower upside down with a chainsaw causing traffic jams like I expected. But we got back to Cincinnati late last night, got on the highway and immediately, immediately I had that guy that wants to merge on the highway 30 miles under the speed limit.
There's not that much traffic, but like also this is still hard to do because you're going so slow Did like did people not learn how to merge? Okay, we get on the highway. We're driving a little bit further I get over in the middle lane using my turn signal to go around slow person slow
Slowperson decides with no turn signal, "You or I should be the middle lane!" and just cuts me off again, not speeding up! They just decided that's the lane they belonged in now. So I feel something in my neck, probably an important artery explode, and I get over with my turn signal to go around again, leave that person behind, goodbye.
Uh, we get a bit further up and there's road construction or something's going on So the actual highway is like shut down So we have to get off and go around to get a different route get behind another person on a one lane road speed limit 35 I should do 15 Clear brightly lit area No turn signal speed limit all over the place. Like if someone just goes the speed limit i'm fine You know, they don't have to go five over. You don't have to go 10 over. You don't whatever just
35 perfect conditions just hit the 35. you're turning you're merging you're moving turn signals they're great they work they indicate they do their job
But the entire trip home last night, it was slow person cutting me off, no turn signal on repeat. It wasn't even the people going 900 miles an hour or whatever. There was a motorcycle and someone else racing each other and just cutting each other off repeatedly. But, you know, they were in the far left lane fucking each other in the not in my way. But the slow, the slow, no turn signal.
Oh, man, it eats a part of my soul every time. Wade hasn't driven in five years and he forgot how traffic was. First time in the road in ages. Oh, man, people go slow sometimes. I've driven a lot. I wasn't even in my car last night. Oh, you weren't in your car. Interesting. I would think if you were driving, you'd be driving...
say your own car not whenever you have to have luggage that's a bit look i know it's a sports car but it's a big car there's definitely room for luggage we got big luggage oh sorry oh okay uh i
everyone on the subreddit respect his big luggage florida beautiful great time great drivers shocked me to hell got back here and immediately was like i can't believe i prefer florida drivers to my own people i don't know if i would claim anyone as your own people who's driving on a road but i don't anymore you got it just use the turn signal just turn signal
You got the old man yells at cloud point good job, Wade. I was tired, man. I got to the airport yesterday at 11 a.m. We didn't land till like midnight last night because it was a long day. And then how are there that many people on the highway at like one to three? There weren't. That's the saddest part. It was just a few people. You should have gone around. I tried and they were like, that guy's trying to go around. I better help him. Now we can go around all over.
over again! Sounds like a you problem. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, but... Just stupidity hurts me, and the road is full. Nobody knows how to drive anymore, man. Or they never did. I don't know. You already got the old man yells at Cloud. You can ease up. It's alright. Old people these days! These kids! Back in my day, I had to drive uphill everywhere! Alright, Mark, what are you mad about? I have something hilarious. It's...
involves a company that is not technically in the wrong i suppose but i think they are and also the pettiest the pettiest thing i've ever seen and a pure example of why this company might be plagued with inefficiencies he's going for the eating point i can tell
So I bought Mac studios for my render farm, uh, because the power efficiency and man, my power bill is way down since doing that. I mean, they were expensive to get, um, but their resale value will be good. Um, if I ever need to upgrade or if I've ever done with the render farm, that's why I did it.
And so I bought some. And when you do business, you have to get an invoice and you have to pay them separately. And there was like this whole it's a whole different. Usually, if you go and buy Apple stuff, it's kind of easy. They make it a little too easy sometimes. Business, not so much. So I get this email and I must not have noticed the first one because it says second notification of past due balance.
Dear Markiplier, I can't believe this happened to us. The email reads, we would like to thank you again for your business with Apple. As of today, we have still not received payment.
Please see the attached outstanding invoice list and remit payment as soon as possible. Please note, non-payment could lead to a reduction of your credit line and may result in shipping delays. Don't you already have all those things? Yeah, I do. All right, so probably not shipping delays, but yeah, go on, sorry. You want to know how much it's for? What's an...
Apple products, it's a minimum of $130. Yeah, $3,000 or something. So the total invoice amount is high. It's $7,844. Yeah.
and 40 cents so you got three chargers you bought an iphone and a half one so 7,844 dollars and 40 cents that's the total invoice they say i paid 7,844 dollars and 39 cents this is a second notice past due email for one cent you said those numbers in my head i was like wait aren't those the same number
How much is different? This is a one penny past due invoice. Mark, this may reduce your credit line and incur penalties. The legal team might get involved. I kind of want you to not pay it just to see what happens. Like the next one, they're like, all right, we're not playing nice anymore. We're going to start charging interest fees.
15% interest. You know, if you go to pay it, there's going to be a charge for paying online or something of like a dollar. So it's, it's so funny because like I got, I had, there was another invoice besides this. One of the orders was delayed. This is the delayed one. I paid the exact same amount for the,
both invoices. This one I've looked and they're, this one for some reason is one penny more than the other ones. When I paid, I paid it all in full in total. This one is different. So I'm not paying this one because I have paid in full and I did pay in full when I did it because it was the exact amount that they charged on the invoice. But because this one was delayed, some rounding thing must've happened and it went up a penny.
and I, so I'm not paying this one, and I just want to see how far it goes. It's supply and demand. Someone had just bought the exact same thing, so they had to upcharge this one by one penny. Man, the tariffs, you know, just really, really threw that one for a loop.
Well, I knew it had to be either really big or really small, but I would not have guessed. Shouldn't they... Shouldn't... Like, I know this is how this works, because accounting is numbers, and numbers have to equal numbers. But shouldn't there be a thing in the system where it's like, hey, if the invoice is, I don't know, less than a dollar, maybe just round that down or something? Is that really worth...
The electricity that it costs our system to send an email at like... Not at all. The electricity it took to send that email and calculate the number is not worth that penny. This entire saga is not worth. And I really hope they take it so far. There is no way to pay it without coming out in the negative. I like your approach because you're eating into their profits now. Every time you make them do something, that's another point.
four or five cents that they have to pay or i'm just gonna let it sit there and then eventually they're gonna come and repo one penny's worth of apple hardware so like magic mouse or something i don't know i the funny thing is i don't think i can even give them just a penny because a credit card transaction has a minimum fee it's like a 30 cent minimum plus a percentage if
I paid this via wire transfer. Wire transfers cost about $20. I can't give them a penny. No, if you mail a penny, you have to pay for the stamp. Don't they pay the trend? If you pay with a credit card, don't they pay the transaction fee? So couldn't you pay them a penny and then they pay 30 cents to receive your penny? I'm trying to save them money here. I'm trying to make this easy on them.
If they make an exception for you, they have to make an exception for everyone who underpays a penny. This is about setting an example. This is so funny. I find this hilarious and I can't wait to see if this goes any farther. I will actually be really disappointed if it doesn't go any farther than this because it's just that funny. That's really... I mean, I've not had it be a penny. I've been in situations like that. I think it was, for me, it was a thing where it was like...
insurance or something where you know how insurance is a scam industry even though it's like required and it was like we moved so I cancelled insurance on our old rental because we got new insurance but and they like billed us for some of it but then they refunded but then they prorated it like that kind of bullshit right and they invoiced me and they were like hey you owe us six dollars but when I called them on the phone and asked them if they really wanted their six dollars the guy on the phone was like uh I'll just
uh i'll just make this go away and i'll make a note to my manager don't worry about this sir but like apple's definitely not gonna do that that was a small like it was still a big company but that was a smaller company and i talked to a human person i doubt i'm sure you've tried have you ever gotten a human being person on the phone if you've ever tried to call apple do they do that or i have so i i talked about this before if you remember i didn't get one human i
I got bounced to seven humans, which is great. Oh, no, that's right, right. But it really speaks to some inefficiencies happening at Apple. Now, I'm not one for big companies doing lots of layoffs, but I can tell you, between having no humans and only robots, which is bad, and seven people who worked at separate companies. There was multiple companies involved with this chain of people. They sent me to the bank and then back to a separate department. Anyway.
That's too many people! I need one good person. So, maybe some inefficiencies going on there. I imagine if you try to get this penny taken care of, it'll be like the scene in Saving Private Ryan where, like...
They walk in, they're looking at the papers, they're like, oh, and they take it to their superior, who takes it to their superior, who takes it to their superior, and eventually the president of Apple is like, one penny. We've spent that on these pages already. Get him on the line. We must fix this. Wait, I want to know, do you know who the president of Apple is? Tim Apple. That's actually wrong, he's not the president. Elon Musk. There you go, there you go. The real president of Apple. President.
President of every company. Are you going to tell us or are we just going to keep guessing? Because I actually don't know. No, I don't know the president of Apple. I was just pointing out that he said president instead of CEO. Fair enough. It must be the week of weird transactions because I also had a weird transaction this week.
Have you guys ever bought something? I was buying a computer piece of technology, and it was kind of an expensive single purchase that I've never bought from this company before. And they had a third-party fraud detection service? Have you ever bought something where a company had like a third-party company that did their...
anti-fraud stuff. Yeah, I think so. They outsource it sometimes. Yeah. Has it felt like a scam to you? Because I literally, I gave these people my credit card number, I put my order in, and then an unrelated company sent me an email and it was like, hey, it looks like you're trying to buy this computer. We think that might be fraudulent. Send us a picture of your credit card or a picture of your valid government ID. And I was like, wow,
why would I send either of those to you company I've never spoken to before? And they were like, no, no, you can cover most of the data. Just scribble, you know, cover some of the parts. We just want to see, you know, like your credit card number and your name and address and make sure the picture's there just so we can have that. I think it's a totally legit company, but I refuse to do it. But when I called the company, I was trying to actually...
give money to the guy on the phone. I said three words. I was like, uh,
He said hello and I was like, I got a fraud email or something. And he was immediately like, okay, yeah, we're trying to get rid of those guys. We didn't hire him either. We don't know where they came from. I don't understand what happened, but it was a weird week. Supervisors got apparently a rich uncle in somewhere in the Middle East who's like, hey, if you assign us on as your fraud company, you'll get your $6 billion inheritance. Yeah.
You ever seen that sketch of the, I forget what show it is, but the guys just walk into a company and they start taking the desks and they're just like, no, no, we got authorization from Bill. Bill. Hire up Bill. Bill? He's like, yeah, you're all getting upgrades. And they just take everyone, they get everyone in the office to help them carry out the furniture. That's what this situation is. It's probably fine. So anyway, I sent him a picture of my social security card and I was like, does this work? That was great. They seemed pretty happy about it.
This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you just when you need it most? That's what Uber is all about. Like when Wade's house was flooding and falling to pieces all around him, and you showed up just when he needed you to so you could film it and exploit it for views on the internet? No. Whatever it is, big or small, Uber is on the way. So you can be on yours. Uber, on our way to your house, Wade.
Oh, well, good small talk. Who wants to play a game? I do. This is not a exact redo, but we kind of played this before, and I feel like you guys really had a great time with it, so I wanted to bring it back. Nah, I'd win part six. You wish. It would be part five. Fuck.
I like to call this game 20 Simple Questions. Oh, God, no. Oh, God. No, listen, listen. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's fine. It's fine. I reworked it. Winnebago. Winnebago. That's not the right answer.
But I like the enthusiasm. Unobtainium. Unobtainium. I changed it so that it's just true or false questions. Uh-huh. It literally is just true or false questions. They're still about, like...
Science-y stuff, history, geography, whatever. Wade, did you take a cyanide capsule just now? You'll find out as the episode goes on. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. Don't worry. Don't worry. I am going to start by flipping a coin to see who gets to go first. Heads is Wade because bald. Eh.
And it is the lion, which is Tails. So Mark goes first. Good luck. Which apparently gives you a little bit of a statistical advantage. Someone on the subreddit did a little analysis and you have a very slight edge if you get to go first in games of this nature. Nerd. It's just true and false. So even if you don't know, I feel like you could probably figure it out the next time around. All of the above. It's not an option, but I appreciate the creativity.
Question number one. True or false. A triangle can have two right angles. False. Correct. See, look at this. Easy. These are easy. Wait, don't worry. They're easy. Yeah, I can't wait to hear about mine. That's one question done. Wade, true or false. There are five Great Lakes. True. That's correct. I had to spell it out in my head.
You had to spell what what the first letter spells out like Holmes or whatever oh
Mark. True or false? Humans have more than five senses. True. Very good. It's like the last one that people don't know about is like no-o-ception or something like that. It's like knowing where you're... There are actually a couple extra ones. Your sense of like balance is kind of one. That's not what it's called. And pro-proprio-ception or something is the one you're talking about where you like know where your body parts are in space. Humans do have more than five senses. Wade. True.
True or false? Mozart and Beethoven were alive at the same time. I'd like to use a lifeline, 50-50. Okay. True or false? All right.
True. I knew you'd know that. See, you guys were all worried. I told you, I toned it down. This is going to be fine. You're just stressing me out more. Yeah, I know. It's all of the following alchemical equation. Usually, you know, when like you're trying to slaughter an animal, usually you go up to him like, it's fine. It's okay. Don't worry. Wait, is this our oats? Dear Penthouse Forum.
Mark, true or false, Beethoven composed music after going deaf. True. Wait, was Beethoven the deaf one? True. True, that's correct. Good job. I don't like this. I thought it was a trick question in some way. I was like, maybe he was always deaf. I don't know. Wade, true or false, Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. True.
incorrect i'm so sorry about that come on man he he improved to the light bulb but he in fact did not invent it i thought that was the case but i don't know i didn't know who else but i was like oh yeah right mr light bulb did it mark true or false bananas grow on trees
True. I'm sorry. That one is false. What do they grow on? Technically, and I love this fact, bananas grow on tall herbs.
I don't know what the distinction is there, but that's what the internet told me. Isn't the plant called a banana tree? No, it's called the banana herb. Bananas are the spice of life. Everyone knows this. Wait, true or false, the Wright Brothers' first flight was in 1903. False. That one was kind of a gimme. That is correct. That is true. That is incorrect on your part. Mark, true or false, Mount Everest is located in the Himalayas. Yeah. Yeah, it's not an option. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah.
you true yeah true that's correct that's correct i'm not being cagey it's fine you guys are doing so good this is already question 10 you guys are getting so many more correct on the first go around this time way true or false moby dick was published before frankenstein i've never read moby dick but i have read frankenstein mary shelley no one moby dick came out i'm gonna say true but i don't know
Sorry, that's incorrect. Toby Dick's newer than that? Okay. Has the word dick in the title. It's practically a modern book. It's got swears. Mark Tuerfoss, the Titanic sank on its maiden voyage. I believe in you. I'm trying to remember in the Titanic movie, did they smash a bottle of champagne against it before they went? They had one in the car during the sex. Pop the cork right against the windshield. Um...
True? Yeah, good one. April 14th, 1912. I used to be such a confident person. What? You guys are doing really good. Well, I mean, I've failed like three, but that's cool. I mean, Mark is doing really good. Wade, true or false? William Shakespeare wrote The Odyssey. False. Good one. See, there's back in the game. Back in the game. Mark, true or false? The Mona Lisa is painted on canvas. False.
What is canvas? What even is canvas? It's the thing that the Mona Lisa is painted on. Given that I don't know what else you would paint on, maybe like pig skin or something. I don't know. I'm going to say true.
That one. I'm sorry. That's incorrect. Wade, true or false? Sound travels faster in water than in air. False. Oh, sorry. That's incorrect. Mark, true or false? An isosceles triangle always has two equal sides. True. That's correct. Can I get a triangle question? Damn. I like the triangles. There's a statistical advantage. It's the only reason. I got a statistical advantage. Don't worry. You'll know this one, Wade. True or false? Brazil is north of the equator. False.
I was wrong. I'm sorry, that's incorrect. Wait, I was wrong? Wait, what? You said false, right? You said Brazil's north of the equator, and I said false. Oh, maybe I copied and pasted it wrong. Hang on. Let me look this up. Let me look this up. Every true false has shifted one. Oh, God. At least part of it should be south of the equator, right? Oh.
oh yeah interesting most of it is definitely south of the equator yeah not all of it and perhaps this is a trick question that i got suckered into sure felt like it because i was like i'm pretty sure it goes through brazil but most of it is south because because the question was brazil is north of the equator and the answer is probably some of brazil is north of the equator i mean yeah i guess it's true and false
I'm going to give that to you. That's what I get for trusting things I get from the internet. Mark, true or false? A group of cows is called a murder. A group of cows is called a murder? C-O-W-S? Cows, yes. Ooh, and so on. God, I hope it's not called a murder. False?
You're right. That is false. Called an utter bang. Wait, that says true. Wait. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. No, I think I think I think I screwed up my document. Hang on. Hang on. Did you mistype it from cows to something else? Oh,
I can't read. Because I know a group of crows is going. It says crows. I just can't read. That's what it's looking for. No, you're right. I thought you were intentionally saying cows in a way to make Mark not know which word you were saying. Yes, I got you.
Take that! I'm not so stupid that I don't know how to read my own typed words that... Okay, great. Wait, true or false, Napoleon was exiled twice? In general or from like one place? False. Man, you're having a bad run. Mark, true or false, zero is an even number? No. No.
I'm trying to think of what even the definition of an even number is, really. One that's not odd. All right. If the pattern is, you know, one, three, five is odd, then maybe it is even. I've never considered. I'm going to go with the optimistic route that it is. True. Good job, buddy.
Oh, hey, all right. You're so smart at this. Do you know what the definition is? I don't know. Well, technically, I think the definition of an even number is any integer that is divisible by two without leaving a remainder. And technically, zero divided by two equals zero. You can divide zero by other numbers, but you just can't divide by zero. Yeah. Good job, Mark. You knew that. I knew you knew that.
Wade, question 20, Wade. I know you can get this one. It's right in your wheelhouse. I believe in you. I'm on it. True or false, the chemical symbol for potassium is K. You know this, right? You're a big periodic table guy, right? I believe that's true. Got all the periodic tables up in your room there. Potassium is the one that's K, right? Yeah, that's true. That's true. Good job. I know some periodic table. It's in blueprints.
There you go. All right. Well, that was the first round through the 20 questions. And you guys got, let's see, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. You got 12 correct. And there are eight questions remaining. Wait, does that mean I got seven wrong? Because I think Mark got like one wrong, didn't he? The scores are not very close right now, but that's okay because the game is not over. Good. Mm-hmm. Good.
That was a good run, though. Honestly, one of you definitely did more gooder than the other, but I'm not going to hold that against you. You're still in this, Wade. And all you have to do is remember, because I told you all the answers, right? You knew the game. I told you what the game was. I gave it up ahead of time this time. So all you have to do is remember. So we'll start...
Because you're losing so badly, we'll start with Wade. We'll switch up who gets to go first for this round. Okay, I was kind of a mister who was losing, but that's okay, now I know. All you have to do is remember. You have to recall. True or false? Thomas Edison improved the light bulb. True. That is true. Good job. I don't know how to spell any of these words. All right. Mark, true or false? Bananas grow on short trees. False. It's an herb.
It's an herb. There's my guy. There's my guy. One short tree knows another. He knows that's not a short tree. Yeah, yeah. Shut up. But yeah, he's right. Wade, true or false? The Wright brothers' first flight was in 1913. False. Good one. Coming back. Was that a question that was asked before? Yeah.
Yeah, man. We talked about the Wright brothers previously. Mark. True or false? Mozart and Beethoven were not alive at the same time. Not true or false? They were not alive. This one was already answered correctly, so you know the answer. I'm trying to think of the wording. Not true or false?
That's false, because they were. Good one. Good one. Man, Mark, you have so many points, I'm going to have to... Oh, this is going to get crazy. Wade, don't worry, you're doing great. Okay, man.
Wade, true or false? Moby Dick was published after Frankenstein. FALSE! This was your question last time. I think you sort of talked through it all. FALSE! I'm sorry. That is incorrect. No! I didn't learn the wording! Moby Dick, no! That's right. You gotta learn it through, Wade. You gotta learn it real hard. I didn't learn the wording! What'd you say? It's alright. Look, Mark's getting them correct, so clearly it's possible. FALSE!
Damn, I hate whales. Mark, true or false? Sound travels slower in water than in air. False. It's faster. Good job. Good.
See, Wade, just take your time with it. You gotta let your neurons go slow down, stop, and go in reverse. If he asks me the Muppet Dick question right now, I don't know if I get it right. Don't worry, it'll come back up. Wade, true or false, the Mona Lisa is painted on canvas. Mona Lisa, famous painting, right? We talked about this. Can you...
Take paint. Why would you do that? I don't know, but the way you asked the question, I don't like it. False. The Mona Lisa is painted on canvas. False is your answer? True. False is my answer. That's true. False is correct. Good job, buddy.
I thought Mark got it with was painted on K. I was like, is it now? I didn't rephrase that one. That was exactly the same question I asked the first time. And I'm glad that you guys picked up on I'm rephrasing things because that is the bit, isn't it? I'm a bit confused. That was Wade's question. Mark.
True or false? Ecuador is north of the equator. Ecuador? Is this making up countries now? All willy-nilly? Okay, alright. It's down there with Paraguay, Uruguay, Brazil, Chile. Ecuador. Don't tell me where Ecuador is. Of course I know. Rephrase it again. Say what you said. Mark, true or false? Ecuador is north of the equator. Do you want me to help you? No.
Would you like me to rephrase it? No. Not at all. You sure? Ecuador. False.
This is the same one that I was fucking around with. Ecuador is in the exact same situation that Brazil is. The equator runs through it. Oh. If you pronounce Ecuador a different way, what you say is Equador. That's what I was already saying. Were you not listening to me? No, of course I wasn't. Anyway, it is primarily not north of the equator, so I'm going to say it's primarily false, which means you primarily get a point. Not that you need it, but it's
It's fair though, that's fair. Oh, Ecuador. Hey, he's looking at maps. I'm looking up Ecuador. I want to learn more about Ecuador. People are going to think I don't like Ecuador. What if you get more questions later about Ecuador? Now you know more about Ecuador. That's not fair. I'm reading up on Ecuador. You can't stop me. Bob. All right, Wade. Are you ready? No. True or false? A group of ravens is called a murder. A fucking group of ravens is called? False. Unless...
false asterisk what's the asterisk I'm into this unless they are okay well no you are correct that is false because enjoyably enough a group of ravens can be called an unkindness or a conspiracy which is the fucking best thing ever they were called a murder but they are now never more
Speaking of crows and ravens, there was a TikTok that I saw before quickly deleting TikTok again because I downloaded it again. I was like, I haven't been on it a while. Maybe I'll try it out. And then I felt my brain deteriorating. I literally felt myself being hypnotized. So I deleted it. But I remember this TikTok being like, if you have to ask, it's a crow. When it's a raven, you will know. And I don't know.
I don't know. I still don't know the difference, really. I know one of them is like really croaky. What does that mean? I don't know. I mean, I'm not sure if a raven will be so unbelievably obvious with its 20 foot wingspan and like descending on me with a human speech. But I think they're not that different. All the pictures that I'm seeing, they look almost indistinguishable, except for it's like, oh, the tail's a very slightly different shape and the head shapes are
just noticeably different if you get a still photograph of them in perfect side profile I guess they make different sounds yeah one of them is more like croaky and crowey or raveny yeah
It's confusing more than anything. We don't want any confusion in here in this episode. If I ever need to tell a raven from a crow, I'm not going to know. How would I know? Oh, you'll know. That's so ominous. All right. Mark, good job knowing your countries that are close to the equator. Wade. Wait, did I just do the raven one? Yeah, wait. Oh.
oh yeah i know wade got the raven one i went back too far good job on the raven one wade mark true or false polio was exiled thrice thrice is that like three or like the rice can you use it in a sentence could be the country of origin it's it's no you know the word this is not a spelling bee napoleon was exiled thrice to true or false
False. Good job, buddy. I'm so proud of you. Thanks, man. Man, you guys aren't falling for this as hard as I thought you would. I gotta be honest. I was really hoping that we'd go around and around and around. That means our scores are close, right? Yeah, no, everyone is really competitive right now. It's going really good. Wade, for no specific reason, I'm going to offer you two points on this one. Ooh. True.
True or false? Moby Dick was published before Frankenstein. Fuck! We talked about this twice now. One of them came first, then the other one came after. So your sentence was Moby Dick was published before Frankenstein. Yes. False. He did it! Whoa! He did it! Did he?
unless all of what i have written down is incorrect in which case none of this means anything but it's a game anyway so who cares actually i think this means you guys have successfully answered all 20 questions game over uh it doesn't have to be over all right wait do you want some more huh wait true or false thomas edison invented the light bulb false all right i'm not gonna give you points for that
No, that's rude. That's rude. That's rude. That's rude. I'll give you half a point.
I don't want to sugarcoat it. You guys did so much better on this game. I told you it was going to be easier. I toned it back. I, we only had a couple hilarious moments about Moby Dick and stuff. And, and I only misread one word in a way that was very unfortunate for the nature of the question I was asking, but I was only kind of trying to get weight, some extra pity points here to bring them back into reaching distance. But, uh, no, it's fine. I,
I almost filled up the whole, I started writing real big, I almost filled up your whole side of my page, Wade. It looks like you really were in this one. Thank you. I changed the font size to 16 and really started filling it in. Uh, Mark. You earned points for one penny past due.
and being the pettiest man alive. You earn points for Triangle, first time. Number of Senses, Deaf Composer, Mount Everest, Titanic, Isosceles, Cows, Zero, Bananas, Mozart, Beethoven, second time, Sound, Air, Ecuador, and Napoleon.
Wade, you earn points for Old Man Yells at Traffic, Big Luggage, Great Lakes, Other Mozart, Odyssey, Brazil, Potassium, Edison, Wright Brothers, Mona Lisa, Ravens, Frankenstein. That sounds like a lot. That does leave Wade two and a half points down, which means if the first wheel spin that we do here goes really, really well, it's going to be fine. Looking forward to it. Oh, also, I have to add something to the wheel. Something about...
The truest boy. Or the falsest. The falsest. Yeah, well, let's get this out of the way and see how much the next parts really matter. How many bonus points will there be? Oh, there's a chance! There's a chance! I had my coin ready just in case it was less than three.
I appreciate that. That's a good idea. I don't think anyone's called that on a wheel. I was prepared.
that's technically that's technically allowable i think i don't think there's any rules against it the most false if anyone tells a lot of lies or gives a lot of misinformation or just can be agreed to be the most false i feel like that's where that one goes and then let's see if wade can do this imagine if wade gets all three bonus points imagine because
Considering how much of a disadvantage he's at on the wheel in general, that'd be crazy. Hey, Mark had a four-point comeback last time I hosted, I think. That's true. That's true. Most distracted. Well, given that Wade didn't even remember what we were talking about halfway through there. Huh? Are you seeding that one, Mark? I think I have to. I don't remember being distracted.
Well, that'll do it. Don't call it a comeback. Come on. Bald. Least all. Happiest contributions. Mark owing a penny or me drivers? He was complaining about traffic. I was not happy. I was laughing. I had a great time.
I think I have to see that. Yeah, I think Mark gave us a story that would be angry, except he was laughing and he thought it was hilarious. I was bitter and angry. Wade was just complaining like the bald man he is. There's still some spins on this board that could really get you back in this game. Instant tie. Sudden death is on here. Let's not do that. There are a couple options that could really save this, Wade. Oh, well. Best looking.
I'm not saying, but I bathed yesterday. I was at an airport all day and did not.
I also forgot deodorant today, and I noticed that a little while ago. All right, well, Wade's just trying to give this one away, so... I mean, I've already lost. Let him have it. He's never the best looking. He can get it once. Yes, yes, yes. The final score, with Mark getting two of the bonus spins and Wade getting one of them, the final score comes out to Wade with 12.5 points and Mark with 16. Ooh.
It was really that first time through the questions. Mark just got a lot of them right, right off the rip. I got like six wrong in a row. I was hoping that more of those would be wrong, but when I reduced it to the 50-50 guest to start out, it gave you guys a much better chance of getting some, even if you had no clue. And I told you I toned it down. You thought it was a trap? It was.
It was. I toned it down. You guys did really well. I know that if this comes up again, we're going to be devastated. He's not going to finish the question. 20 impossible questions. The game ends when we answer all of them. You may Google anything you think might help.
Bob has made up his own language in which he will ask us questions. You need to decipher it as many ciphers deep. Do you know anything about cryptography? That's what morticians do with bodies. We'll solve unsolvable math. What is it? Postulates.
This theorem nearly drove Albert Einstein insane, and he declared it to be unsolvable. What an idiot, right, guys? Prove that old crazy moron wrong. Ready? What is the right moral theory? That's easy. That's a one-word answer. Oh, you're not getting any psychology in here. It's philosophy, man.
Get my psychology out of my philosophy. Anyway, congrats, Mark. Thank you. You did great. And would you like to give your winner speech? I would, yes. I appreciate everyone for believing in me. And I appreciate myself for having uttered
utter confidence this entire time. My opponent, I believe, was at a disadvantage because of his lack of sleep and traffic, of course. But given that I live in LA, I feel like we might be on even terms. So thank you for this victory and the best looking winner signing off.
possibly ever. Wade, loser speech? This loser speech is brought to you by nobody. I lost. I bring my own game to this losing. And by having played, I knew that I could lose and I did.
How is that- how is such a short statement confusing? What just happened? Did I have a stroke? 20 loser speeches! Y-you know what? You really came- you put it on at the end, Wade. You really came back. You fought hard, just not smart enough. Yes, sorry.
Thank you. Mark is the best looking and the smarter one today. So if that proves this game proves anything, it definitely proves that I've got something on my side. Baldest. Usually second tallest, second shortest and most traveled between episodes. Longest time lived in one tri-state area. Uh, for now. Okay.
Yeah, I'm gonna outlive you a while, so... Based on the amount of peanuts I can consume today, hoping to get the eating point. Likely. I call those Ethan Killers. Uh, anyway, this...
That's the end. Thank you so much for watching and listening equally today because everyone deserves to be appreciated sometimes. Make sure you follow the podcast and you'll know when the episodes come out. You just put this little plus thing or whatever. It's Fridays and Mondays, so you should know that. But if you don't, it'll tell you. Make sure you follow Wade and Mark. Their names are on screen. LordMinion777 or Minion777 or Markiplier. Follow me.
Just search Mark's friend Bob. I made that joke before, but it actually works. So it's probably the easiest way to find me. Very soon. Very soon. Very soon. Okay. Thanks so much. Make sure you listen to the next one where Mark will host because he is the smartest and best looking and greatest host of this show. That's it. I'm out of here. Podcast out.
You're getting a lot of points next time, Bob. You're going to get a lot of points. Listen, I'm not doing that on purpose, but if it earns me points in the forthcoming episode, I'm not going to say no, you know? True or false, you didn't do it un-in-purpose.