Bob's Small, Even Dumber Word Game
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From

From doing your duty to ultimate fairness. Yes! It's time for Bob's Small Even Dumber Word Game. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hello and welcome back to Distractible, your congressperson's favorite podcast, I assume. Probably. I'm your host, Bob. I am the host because I won the last one, because that's the way this show works. We all three compete. Well, two of us do, anyway. One of us hosts. And whoever between the two competitors wins hosts the next one. It is a right.

and an honor, and a duty. Fighting for the duty today, we have the only two other guys who are ever here, Mark and Wade. Hello. Hello. I didn't ask to say hi, but I won't dock you points yet. I do have a game, I have a topic. It's a game, I'll give that away. But before we get into that, we always start with small talk. It hasn't actually been that long since we've talked to each other.

but also feels somehow like it's been quite a long time, which I feel like could be the subtitle of the book about the last five years of my life. But how are you guys doing today? How is your, how's it been? How's it going? Great.

Great. Great. Only positive vibes? Yeah. Yeah. I actually, in the past two days since we last talked, I did a full redo of my whole render farm. If I take a picture of it afterwards, because I didn't take a picture of it during it, I'll send it to the editors. If I remember, a lot of conditions, this is never going to happen. No one's ever going to see this. Editors, invent a render farm. Make it look awesome.

It still has some wires across the floor just because of where the electricians put in plugs and the fact that it is a bathroom. But it's a lot cleaner now. It works a lot better. It turns out if you don't shove something up against your air conditioners that you've put in, it's able to breathe and circulate air better. So give those room to breathe. Everything's going. I got the leaning tower of Mac Studios. It's great.

What does that mean? When I picture your render farm, don't take offense to this. I picture C-3PO after he got ripped apart and is like in the backpack where all the pieces are there, but there's wires and he's like heads on backwards. That's how it was before. Did I not show you a picture of the before? I'm pretty sure I did. It's

It's a dystopian, it was a dystopian cyberpunk kind of nonsense thing. If I type server into my phone's pictures, it doesn't come up. And I'm like, why wouldn't that come up? And I'm like, oh yeah, because it doesn't look anything like what they would think a server looks like. What's the search term to find that picture? Post-apocalyptic nightmare rat's nest of wires and... Oh, there it is.

Let me look up Apocalypse. Oh, no results. Okay. Nest of Wires. God dang. Rat King. Let me look up Rat King. Nope. Man, I can't find this. It's a mystery. Apple Intelligence, my booty. Well, it's working great after the rebuild, right? No issues? Yeah, so you rebuilt it and nothing has gone wrong and it worked perfectly the whole time. Kind of. It's not my fault. Of course it's not. No, I can't find the picture. Oh!

No. No. No, I can't buy it. Anyway, it's good, except one of the things that I dislike is these small, like, arbitrary details about computers that, you know, you have to really read the manuals to know or read in depth about reviews and anything. I'm sure a bunch of people know that if you need to populate all of the RAM slots for server-grade computers,

hardware to run at full performance. It needs all the channels filled. It's expecting that. So for a while, these have been running with almost all of them full, but not all of them for the ones that have RAM slots. You can't skip any slots

Slots and or it didn't know yeah, it's it's probably is common knowledge in the server world But I didn't know this because I'm used to like running a PC for desktop reasons and sometimes for PCs if you have only Half of them filled it runs faster. So it's very opposite thinking but whatever doesn't matter not important goddamn IT will be the death of me because for some reason those management ports just are

decided to die. They're plugged in just the same. They were plugged in from one switch, put them into another switch, reset everything, reboot everything, and then just... Never picks up an IP address. Just cannot...

do anything i don't get it i don't understand how this stuff is supposed to be smart redundant fail safe it just oh no another another plug i can't do it on a different server i think it's probably because i didn't let go of the fixed ip on the previous device before i moved it over but i've done that before where devices just pick up anyway it's a nightmare i know that you know

that you could pay someone to do that. But there's a part of my brain that would love to see you like find an IT consultant or something and be like, I just need you to come. I have the setup. And they walk into your bathroom and they're just like...

Oh, no. Oh, and they pull out their laptop and plug in, and they're looking through the software. They're just like, oh, God. I'm sure it's fine, but I'm sure a professional would... Even people who build PC just towers, there's so much shit that if they looked at the way I did it, and I think I do it. I mean, it works. I've never had a PC that didn't work. Got all the specs I wanted out of it. They would still probably just vomit out their entire lungs at what I did. I can only imagine for server shit.

what kind of things there are that you would have no idea about. There actually is a guy with Burning Tractor, which is the VFX company I work with. They have this guy Rory there who is their IT guy. And so he has worked miracles for never actually stepping foot inside the server room. But every time I do something, I swear to God, I see on Discord that Rory is typing, stop, Rory.

Rory is typing stop. Rory is typing. And I know it's like, stop fucking it up, you fucking... Delete. How dare you delete? I know that's what's going on. I know he's doing that. But, you know, what can you do?

I think that's very relatable. We've all been there with our server farms. I think we've all been there with fucking up networking. I mean, I miss the days when it was just like you have your modem from the internet company and I still managed to fuck that up. So what was I thinking having a whole farm? Yeah, well, it doesn't make me feel good that you're doing all this shit and it's... This is...

pretty high tech stuff and it's a complicated system with lots of different and i i have felt exactly the way that you feel but it's been me on my home wi-fi with a modem and a router and like one smart device being like oh no i connected you to the you were on the wi-fi and now you forgot oh and like but it's just me with like one light bulb being like why won't you be blue

Fucking light bulb! But it doesn't make me feel good that I've been there, but with, you know, kind of a different scale of technology, kind of different. But it's all just like that, man. It's weirdly applicable because the things I've learned are actually like, in the IT world, they're like common knowledge for, oh no, there he goes. He had it with our tech talk. Wade speaks for the subreddit. Uh.

But it's common knowledge apparently in IT land. But, you know, if you want your home network to work better, virtual networks are the way. You create a subnetwork just for your devices and Internet of Things. And then you create specific rules that those connect to each other and then to your other virtual network where you operate your normal Internet connection. So it's separated and you don't have any cross traffic from that one in your network. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, don't don't do it. I tried to. I tried to do it. I tried.

took down my whole network for two days. Don't touch the VLAN button. I'm not going to. There's a part of me that's like, oh, that would be so sick, though. No, it would not be sick. It would be awful. It would be like taking another full-time 40-hour-a-week job.

at a thing I don't know how to do and I don't need that in my life. I prefer the method of I'm essentially stacking up a tower of electronics and devices and then I take my hands off and if it works, I just am like, no one touch it! Don't fucking unplug anything!

Or I swear to God, because if you unplug one thing, the whole tower collapses and I don't know how to fix that. The tower is still standing right now for me, but our ISP randomly without warning or without telling us just stopped giving us internet at like two in the morning the other week. And so all of my security cameras, the baby monitor, all this shit just went offline all at once. And-

I looked and I was like, oh, it looks like our modem says there's no service. It's probably not my fault. Then I proceeded to spend two hours just being like, okay, what did I fuck up? Okay, let me look at the router. Oh, God. It wasn't me. I just couldn't believe it wasn't me because...

It's always me. We've all been there. Servers and baby monitors. I relate to you guys. Wade, are you still using the router that Mark set up for you in 2014? Did I set a router up for you? I don't know. I just assume. I feel like everything in Wade's life, he's like, oh, I still use the same microphone. Mark actually brought this to me, set it on my desk, plugged it in and set it up, and I just haven't touched it or moved it.

I've moved like three times since 2014. I hope it's not the same router. I just assume you bubble wrapped your whole desk setup and moved it all on a one big pallet and you're like, Mark set this up. I don't know how any of it works. Oh no, no, no. Even my desk had to be disassembled to move because the leggies. Not the leggies. The leggies had to come off. Anyway, Wade, ground us. Ground us in small talk.

Oh, you go to your room and don't come back out until you can think about what you've done. Oh, I'm going to think about it. You think about what you're going to say for small talk. Oh, that. Well, listen, you guys will talk about relatable issues that keep reoccurring. You ever just...

spend thousands and thousands and thousands on plumbing and then you leave for a week you come back and i don't know the three fucking bears must have visited your house while you were gone and all used your power flush and somehow broken the goddamn basement plumbing again to where the little drain near your water heater has poo coming out of it

You mean the exact issue that you just had them cut open cement in your basement floor and replace of all your toilets in the entire house and all that? That issue that they fixed by doing that? Yeah, yeah. Now the shower and the water heater drain both are like, well, if you flush, of course, I'll have it back. Do you have to recycle? It must be the system they set up. Everything we do, I am like, please.

Just do it right. Tell me how expensive it is to do it right. Whatever it takes, just do it right. Don't want an issue. I don't want the cheap fix. I don't want the temp fix. I want the, you know what? We should have done this from the start. Let's fix it. You'll never have to worry again. It's up.

fucking pipe that goes to a sewer how hard could it be to get it right apparently they installed it backwards can you install a pipe backwards i thought the flow could go either way apparently not it's like a goddamn minnow bucket that one side's the catch and then it's all there sloshing around until it's overfilled and the minnows are swimming back up it's like a video game the guy was standing over the pipe and there's a big arrow that's like and he was all

Which way does this need to go? I'm tired of poop. My car is still at a random port. Don't know which one, by the way. And my house is full of shit. Man, you know what will fix that? You guys shouldn't move again. We've talked about it. It's at the point where we're like, if we get a good year at any place, one year away from the pain, is it worth it? Yeah. Yeah.

I gotta admit, you know, all my troubles are self-inflicted. The rest of the house usually works fine. We had some rats, I think, once, and then the air conditioner kept breaking. But yeah, they went in, I did the thing for the air conditioner, and I was like, I'll just fix it from the get-go, make it good. And they're like, we will! And they did. Oh, okay.

I've never, my stories have never ended like that. Yeah, I know. And they did. Speaking of air conditioner, ours is working, but I'm concerned because every week it feels like in order to maintain a temp, I have to lower it more than I want to, to maintain like two degrees higher. That's not a good sign. So originally our AC was set to like 73. We were pretty comfortable. Then it was 72. It's down to like 70 degrees and I'm still like...

Man, it's a little warm in here. That is a very bad sign. That's happened to me before, right before our AC stopped working in the middle of the summer. Yeah, it's also not hot. Like, it's warm enough that, like, yeah, you want the AC on when it gets hot because it gets up into the 70s, close to 80. But it's not hot.

When it gets actually hot and humid, you're going to have to set that bitch on 60 degrees to keep it at a non-suffering temperature. Didn't you just get that replaced? I thought you just had your whole HVAC thing. Last year. How long do those last? Nine months? Apparently my birthday was the anniversary of my one year anniversary to having it installed because my birthday is whatever I had to be fucking fixed. Well, they are only supposed to last one year. So really, you shouldn't complain.

Aw, babe. It's our HVAC-iversary. I just... I go with the companies that have the best ratings, the best reviews, the best track record of... I had this fixed 30 years ago, and it's still good to this day. This company's great. And everyone says that. And then I get something, and they're like, Is this a screwdriver? No, it looks like a wrench. Okay! And somehow, that's what they apparently do! They send the monkeys with tools that are like...

and throw shit they throw feces the feces blocks up my pipes they come back up it's like oh somehow the shit's gotten in your air conditioning you know this is your fault sir you gotta replace the whole fucking thing how does shit get the ac to i don't know because i guess this wrench is actually a screwdriver is actually a power drill which is we don't fucking know anything i gotta say guys just collectively this was a funny bit for a while

but years and years of Wade having plumbing issues seems like kind of milking it. Six years. It's been six years. Change themes. Have an electrical issue. Maybe your roof leaks. Hold on a

pick something up move on from plumbing man like come on now you're paying these guys to sabotage all this stuff see this is is this even happening do we have any actual proof that any of this is real or is wade just like making up stories i bet he's at a car this whole time

Do you want a picture of the turd covered drain? Yes, I would love to see a picture of your recycled shit juice. I will go take one and text it to you too if you want to see it. I dare you. I double dog. I don't know if I believe you. I'm just going to leave it there. I don't know if I believe you. Mark, Mark changes. Mark has lenses. There's drama with lenses. Mark has a server farm. There's drama with the server farm. Mark makes a movie. There's drama with the movie.

He keeps it fresh. And I appreciate that about you. Your fake made up life stories are, you know, they stay interesting, you know? Got to keep it interesting for the podcast. We're basically just AI. Exactly.

This is definitely a simulation. Oh, we haven't even talked about VO3. Oh, yeah. Did we not talk? Yeah. Wait, show us your shit picture. I'll give you a point for it. I texted it, dude. You want me to show it on camera? Come on. Come on. Show us. Come on. Show it on camera. Wow. Oh, man. Oh, God. You live with that?

that this was white and clean whenever we left to go to Minnesota you're not supposed to take a poop on the grate and then try and stomp it through with your feet that's not a good you should see what the shower looked like at one point I

I regret tempting this. I still think he's making it up. I'm deleting that for my own history because I don't want to see it again. This could be an elaborate fabrication. Anyway, I don't know. Do we need to start like a foundation for Wade's Pipes or something? Find me someone in the tri-state area who's fucking competent. We need the Robert Irvine of plumbing to go to Wade's house and film an episode of...

flushing impossible robert irvine is the chef who was host of restaurant impossible and he would go to failing restaurants and like boot camp them and help them fix their menu and remodel their thing everyone knows robert irvine right everyone knows oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah that's a good reference i'm gonna give myself a point for that

This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime. You know what I got into recently? Pens. You just find them on Amazon. They're just out there. And pens is not a weird thing to be interested in, so don't say that. Me? Been Prime Video. Then in the last, like, two weeks, I was like, you know what I need to do? I need to watch every war movie ever made. I love war movies.

Whatever it is, Prime helps you get more out of whatever passions you're into or getting into. Head to Amazon.com slash Prime and follow your obsession wherever it goes. Anyway, VO3. VOE? VO? What's it called? Google video thing? I think it's VO3, yeah. Have you seen this, Wayne? No.

I don't know how you could possibly eat after having just stood that close to shit drain. Bob, I've lived next to shit drain for six years. I'd be dead if I couldn't. You merely adopted the shit. I was born in it. Molded by it. I was an anal birth. On brighter news, I got another photo for you. I don't know if I want any more pictures from you, but okay.

Nah, you want this one. Little baby deer starting to show up. Aww, that's way better. Did you get any pictures of their shit? Well, no, but Presley was eating some yesterday. Oh, fun. Dogs are fun. We have baby deer. There's like three or four. They must have just been born this week. They are so tiny and barely able to walk normally. They look clunky when they're moving. Like a baby deer? The cicada brood is here. I don't know if you guys are seeing it. I'm in California.

hundreds of shells and it is like getting deafeningly loud. What'd you say, Mark? And then listen to you. I'm in California. I was talking to Bob exclusively. You guys must have seen it, right, Mark?

Yeah, I kind of figured that this brood 14 or whatever it is wasn't in California. But Bob, are you guys seeing the hundreds, if not thousands of cicada shells? I am not. We are not seeing that as much. I've definitely it's like the cicadas are coming out, but not remotely like that kind of bullshit. Yeah.

Every tree, there's shells and there's ones actively crawling. And then around like three or four in the afternoon, it just starts to get like definitely loud outside from them making all the noise. I think you live in and amongst more treed areas than we do. We kind of live on top of a hill where there are not, there's not really any woods around us or anything. It's more just like houses. Yeah, I'm not excited for that. I'm just imagining piles of dead ones in the garage and crunchy crates.

Crunchy footsteps. They are all over the place. Shells all over the place. Every tree, the base of the tree is just like, instead of leaves, just cicada shells. So Mark, VO3. VO3. Wait, you haven't seen anything about VO3? Yeah. Usually games only have two voiceover options for the main character, but now that they're introducing a third, you have more play and know how your character sounds when you're playing these games. It's really cool. Hey, can I show a video here that will give you insight into...

what we're talking about, Wade? Is it the Influencer Impossible Challenges one? No, no, I haven't seen that one. This is the pharmaceutical commercial. 100 gorillas versus one donkey? Alright, Wade, I want you to see this. I tried everything for my depression. Nothing worked. Okay, great! Ah!

Every day felt heavy. I felt trapped. Then I tried Pupperman. Our prescription helps your body secrete a special pheromone that attracts puppies. I took the pill before bed and when I woke up,

There he was, the love of my life. The pill does not target depression directly, but we've found that it's really difficult to be depressed when cute dogs show up at your doorstep. I used to feel so empty, but now I feel joy and mild concern how a pee stain got on the ceiling.

My puppy listens twice as good as my ex-husband and only climbs into the lap of half as many of my friends. He chewed up my Bible and pooped in my good chair, but I'm happy for the first time in years. Looks like a rat, barks like a demon, but he saved my life. I named him Earl. He follows me everywhere and farts in his sleep, just like my first husband.

Pupramine. For when your therapist says, maybe you should get a dog. All right, Wade. That was entirely AI generated. I was looking for indications and every now and then like the mouth was a little bit. I didn't know for sure. I mean, obviously someone assembled clips and this is by someone that has made pharmaceutical commercial before, but that was entirely AI generated. Even the voices. It was very clean. The hand movements were clean. I was looking at hands. Yeah.

It was very clean. All right. So have you seen this one, Mark? I broke into a zoo to prove one man is enough to fight a gorilla. Welcome to the Chernobyl challenge. I'm going to lick this glowing pole. Let's see how many views this gets. Nope. No shoot. Just content. Bathing in liquid cement until it hardens. Let's get solid. No energy drinks. Just gasoline.

Digging to the Earth's core. Bare hands. No brakes. Can I survive a full latex suit in 100 degree heat with no water? Let's find out the hard way. Staring at the sun for 10 minutes straight. Wish me luck. Hanging every grain of sand on this beach. Let's go. One, two, three. I have to eat diamonds for views. I hope you're happy, Algorithm.

Yeah. You know, I'm ashamed of laughing, but that was really funny. Yeah, well, so that one has more artifacts where you can definitely tell it's AI-generated than I feel like the one that you showed, Mark. But the...

Whoever wrote that one. Very funny. Isn't that just MrBeast's channel? I will give these five starving people $5 if they do this. I'm a little surprised MrBeast never did the counting every grain of sand on a beach challenge. That was kind of his game for a while there. Really, really, actually quite funny. But yeah, that is down to the person putting the prompt in. They are writing the dialogue. But wait, that model generates the video and audio at the same time. And it can...

create music as well. It can do all sorts of stuff. I think for the pharmaceutical one, they added in music afterwards because they did edit it. Yeah, it seemed to be edited. Yeah, it's there. Remember how in an episode like two years ago, I said, oh, soon it's going to be like, boom, you put in a prompt and then guys at a podcast and like, oh, and

And so, yeah. So, it's here. Did someone make us? Is our podcast already replaced? It might as well be. This is actually generated by VO3 right now. Editors, make my hands look fucking crazy. God! Yeah, no, that's pretty wild, the difference between however long ago we talked about that on the show and that podcast.

it's kind of scary is it is it too is it a bad i'm getting too old take that this is where things are reaching the point where i'm no longer i'm like oh that's so cool and i'm kind of like yeah how do you trust video evidence there's a lot of people out there who don't i don't know very much about technology compared to experts there's a lot of people out there who don't know remotely as much as i know about these things oh yeah it seems very

very dangerous the times we're in as far as that goes like it's really cool but also you think about all the things that could be used for and it's like oh i think that there's definitely concerns for that there's definitely concerns for people's jobs um i'm not so worried i because i think that when it comes down to doing say let's plays or playing video games you

It's so easy already to do. There's no point in making an AI do that. So that, I think, is okay for the time being until you get the ultra-funny, super-incredible AI reaction model. And then it's like, alright, well, here we go. Which will probably come at any time. But...

I think that the saving grace of all this is that Google's servers, I bet, are dying. They charge $250 a month to get access to that. I don't have access to that because I don't feel a need to get that. That probably isn't enough.

If people are generating the amount of stuff that they are with what I know from how much even generating a picture costs in terms of computational power to do those has got to be like an entire server rack of things just to make one. Do you know it's 250 a month for like unlimited generations of things? Or is it because that would be because the people like that?

That's not going to be widely consumed necessarily. That's really fucking expensive. But the people who would pay $250 a month to have access to something like that are going to make so much shit that they're doing that because they're trying to make it their job or whatever.

How much of that is like just the AI versus like how much do people have to do? Like, is there any personal editing or is this just like enter a prompt and that is made? That was text prompting. Like Mark said, the pharmaceutical one seems like it has some editing to sort of finish it because those are clear.

are clearly separate clips cut together and things but the the one mine was each clip was separate there was no editing whatever was there was there it was literally someone just typed a guy breaks into a zoo he looks like a fit influencer he's like he says i'm gonna fight a gorilla pan over to the gorilla and then it just makes the whole video that's been

insane it is it really is um it says 250 a month you get highest level of access to vo3 and then some i don't know what that means it probably means there are limits to your access but you get youtube premium with it oh which for those that don't know everyone always makes fun of it but youtube premium is a great deal as a youtuber i love youtube premium totally side i think but everyone's like you're all paying for youtube and i'm like dude they're

it's so much nicer. Plus you get YouTube music. If you're going to pay for a music subscription anyway, it's not by any means like the best one or anything, but it's fine. And back when it was Google Play Music or whatever, and then you got YouTube, you got YouTube Red when you got Google Play Music, it was a good deal. I got it for seven bucks a month and I'm still on that plan, I think. I wish when it first rolled out they had a bounty program, like an affiliate program for YouTubers. If you pushed...

YouTube Premium for every person that subscribed, they would give you $30. And I'm like, that's a pretty good trade-off. I didn't take advantage of it at all. I didn't do it at all. Now I'm like, God, I wish I had done that. They forgot to send me that email. Anyway, yeah. So VO3, the nightmare is here. But yeah, the only saving grace I think is that this has got to be

killing everything about Google servers right now. There's no way that this is, they've made it more efficient because generating video like outside of that, I've never done it before, but from what I know, a picture can take so many, a language model can take an entire server. Video generation is like if you're generating 30 pictures per second for even eight seconds, that's how long the videos you can generate are. That's crazy. It's crazy.

So who knows? And just because this is going to come up in the subreddit, we're talking about a specific aspect of this. Yes, we're familiar with the ethical concerns surrounding generative AI. Yes, we're concerned with the environmental concerns around the computer power usage, the electrical power usage, the impact of we're just not talking about that in this specific context. Yeah.

We do know. And there's an even bigger problem that relates to us as YouTubers because this is Google's model, right? They seem to have the best video AI model so far. I wonder where they got the videos from. Google, owner of YouTube, I wonder where the hell they got their entire library of videos. Yeah, was it you that said or someone else said...

if you tell it to make a let's play it just immediately knows to put the camera in the corner like it it knows exactly what a let's play YouTube video looks like or

which is totally, totally normal, totally fine. It generated actual like Fortnite gameplay. I saw one where it was like Fortnite was playing. It wasn't quite right. The building wasn't logical, but it was literally like moving forward, building and the entire environment was there. And clearly it had been trained on Fortnite videos to be able to do that. And so there's a huge issue of Google. What the hell? You didn't ask anybody for permission to do that. You just took it all.

I didn't read the terms of service that deeply, but I'm pretty sure. Buried deep in the terms and services. Buried very deep. I would be desperately curious to know what it would do if someone put in the prompt, Markiplier playing three scary games or something, if they kept metadata or if there are terms associated. Because it might just actually...

some weird, bizarro version of you. I have no idea how that works, but that'd be something. It was a good career while it lasted, boys. I'm sure none of these tools will be used to sow any additional discontent in the society in our country that is already struggling violently with what we all believe in our collective morals and decision making. I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm sure nothing bad will come from this. Anyway,

Anyway, you guys want to play a stupid game? Sure. Yeah, good episode. No, that's not what I said. Have you guys ever played the party game Categories? Yeah, maybe. Maybe. It's literally just the game where one person says a category, and then you all take turns saying things in that category. And it's things like types of fruit.

or colors, or maybe some of the stuff that I came up with that's a little bit more unhinged than some of those. But anyway, we're just going to play categories. In each round, I'm going to start with a category. You guys are going to go back and forth, and you get three strikes. So there's no immediate losses. I'm going to keep track of back and forth if you miss one. I'll buzz you or I'll say something, and I'll tell you what's one strike, two strikes, whatever. Three strikes, you're out. The other person gets the point for the round, and then we move on to the next round.

category we all know i'm good at games with memory i'm excited and this in usually when you play this in person it's kind of a speed thing this doesn't have to be that because i'm some of these categories we might need to kind of discuss as a group depending on how creative you guys get with what is inside the category or whatever but anyway i wanted to start with category of times in your life that you're definitely being watched and i'm going to flip a coin

And Wadey is the lady. And we did not get the lady. We got the lion creature. Mark goes first. Streaming. Ah, got him. Baby monitor. Sure.

uh spy satellites sex tape you hope any grocery store there's always security cameras at the bank you know where you're not being watched when you're in a grocery store in front of one of the locked like covered protected items and you're hitting the button as hard as you can no one's looking they'll never come they're not looking at you so they're not being watched in that moment is that your answer for times in life you're definitely being watched

I had a truckle. I had a truckle. I just, I was concerned that that was your answer also. Cause it was sort of, uh, when you're taking a test, when you've spilled something on your shirt, anytime you don't want people to see, they look trying to hide a boner. Definitely airport. Sure. When you're, when, when you step into a convenience store with the biggest backpack you can find,

When you're the clown at the birthday party, because everyone's kind of suspicious of you because you're a clown, and we had that whole clown thing like 10 years ago. So they're watching you, expecting you to be funny, but also they're like, I hope he doesn't try anything funny, if you know what I mean. I was going to say, I don't know if the kids necessarily watch the clown these days, but the parents probably do. You're right. You're right. When you're blasting through a red light and there's a red light camera and you look out your window and go, whoop.

You do that a lot, Mark? Mr. Dangerous Driver? Never. I wish, though. I dream. When you live at the end of a cul-de-sac and you do literally anything outside that that stupid nosy neighbor doesn't like and somehow they always are there watching or they're watching through their window, they just know. Anytime, it's like, hmm, you shouldn't have cut that branch down. You shouldn't have done this. You shouldn't have done that. I really liked that one flower that you accidentally hit with the mower. Walking in the Appalachian Mountains at night. Oh. Expound. Expound.

It's one of the cardinal rules. Cardinal rules of the Appalachian. Don't open the door. Don't look. Don't walk in the mountains at night because you're being watched. They're out there. Keep your windows covered. Doors locked. If you're walking out there and you hear your name, don't answer. As stupid as it is, those videos actually creep me out and I hate it. Makes me feel like a moron because they're all just like

low effort, baity things. And you know, like there's the video of the cameras aimed at the door and from outside you just hear like

And they're like, my name is Mary. Oh, no. It's like your boyfriend's outside just saying your name. And you're just recording it. But also, all the hair on the back of my neck just stood up. I hate you. Because if that did happen, imagine. I'm going to count that. Wouldn't you rock well? Would you expound on that? He sings the song. Now, Michael Jackson does the chorus, but it's his song. Uh-huh.

Alright. I got it. That's all I got. Mark concedes. Do you want that to be one X or all three of your X's?

wait, what are the X's again? You get three strikes. Well, I hope it's just one. I don't know. You tell like you were just kind of giving up. No, no, no, no, no. Just, just there. Mark, Mark has one strike. Mark gives up one strike. Get him, Wayne theme park theme park. There's all kinds of cameras and security theme parks. All right. I'm just gonna put this out there. I feel like we covered security cameras in public places. Oh,

Oh, we're not switching categories as soon as... I've never placed categories, so I have no idea. No, it's the same category until someone's out, and then there's like everyone... There's a point on the line for the category. Oh, okay. Well, then get all three of my exes. All right. That's what you meant. Okay. Yeah, we'll move on. I did good once? I did good. I like this. This is a barn burner. Starting off strong. All right. How about this one? Marcos first. Bad last words. Oh.

Yeah, probably. Okay, singular or plural? Like one word or multiple words? Bad last thing you said out loud. One word or many. However many you say. Wait! I don't know if I'd say that's bad. Why is that bad? Explain it to me. Because they should have waited. Didn't have to be your last words. I'm going to give you an X because I'm unfairly biased against Wade. Mark, bad last words. What are you going to do, stab me? See, I laughed.

Don't you know that's my rules, Wade? If I don't laugh, I'm biased against you. What would be my likely last word? I know what my last words would be. Is that poo? If you die in a tragic drain accident tonight, we're going to feel so guilty. Don't worry, I'm an expert. I was going to say something similar. Alright, strike two. Is this France? What?

You know, classic last word. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Terrible last words, aren't they? It's truly terrible. All right, you counting that? All right, cool. No, I gave him a strike. Strike two. Okay. Is this thing loaded? Sure, sure. Twist and pull!

I bet I could eat that. Gross, but yes. It's fake! He's crushing me, this one. Who's crushing me? Is this Brad? I'm in remission! Ha ha ha!

It's 100% safe. Well, I definitely don't trust you now. It's 50% safe. It's 75% safe. I'll take those odds. That's not bad. That's pretty safe. This seems too dangerous. I'm turning back. All right. The worst she could say is no. It's fine. I read the instructions. I only really thought of that one. I only had that one, too.

That was it. That was my... That was my... Something smells funny. Nah. A yawn is okay, but that is not. Fine, I'll give Marcus first strike. That's strike three for win. Oh, that definitely makes it fair. Thanks, man. Look, I'm realizing there may have been a flaw in my game design here, so I'm changing the rules. Yeah, you hate me. Why didn't you factor that in? You won the first round. Calm down. It was pretty hard for me not to. He just quit.

I now am going to give you a direction in between each round of each of you saying something. So we'll start. You could say whatever you want. And then I will say shorter or louder or with an accent or whatever. And you know, you both have to come up with something in the category and do whatever the fuck I say, because I want it to be more interesting and faster than this. I'm ready. I assume Wade's ready. Marcos first.

Things aliens would mistakenly assume are our God after visiting Earth. Ronald McDonald. I almost said the same answer. I was like, oh, good one. The guy from McDonald's. A statue of liberty. Sure, sure. Longer. The glorious inventor of Apple, Steve Jobs. Is that what you meant by longer? Yeah, I like that. That's good.

Chris Pratt! Is that what you meant by longer? That really got me. Yeah, no, that was the right idea. Longer. The Washington Monument. Very long.

I might say that that's tall. Depending on your prefix. I'm going to give you a strike on that one, but I appreciate it. Wade? Longer.

The Internet!

I really regret the emotion I was doing there, but... I wish you would have kept it going. I didn't want to make sure no one finished. One word. Snake. That doesn't mean anything anymore. We're not doing long.

Oh, is this France? All right, as much as I love that, that's another strike, buddy. I'm sorry about that. What was the topic? Aliens? What was it? Things aliens would mistake as our god after visiting Earth. A snake might be there. One word, Wade. Celebrity. It could be plural. That sounded like two words to me. Rectangle.

Yeah? All right. We'll keep it. One word. Keep it going. Vehicle. Strike. One more. One word. I like this. Porn. That's probably accurate enough. Cows. Corn. Corn? King. No. Big house. Lots of gold jewelry. Could be a god. They think so. Dog. No. Dog.

Everybody loves dogs. How is that not one of them? Because my rules are arbitrary and shitty. That's why. Household items that would definitely kill you in the Goosebumps books. Wade is first. Toothbrush. Still one word? No, we're starting fresh. Reset all the filters. Say whatever you want. Definitely a toothbrush. A cursed toothbrush. A double basket air fryer. A container of chapstick.

I'll give you a strike just on principle for bringing that up. That's a strike. I feel like you know what you did, Mark. Roomba. Oh, definitely. Give it a name brand. Me? No, it's Wade's turn. We're going back and forth, right? What are you? Roomba by Roomba. An iRobot Roomba. I accept Mark's answer. Wade, give it a name brand. Keep going. Broom by Baskins and Robbins. No.

what the shit is happening let's go ahead and call that strike two mark do you know any words yeah yeah a ninja creamy oh that one is scary and also gross can we have an aside on how gross the ninja creamy is can i just say this it's never creamed anything for me not the final product the way it functions if this is

completely thing that no one needs to know. But the way it creamy works, what it does is it turns things that are frozen solid into like slushies effectively. The way it works is you screw a thing full of frozen whatever onto it. And then the blade attaches to the thing and extends out the pole that the blade attaches to. You don't get to clean that. That extends into the cup of stuff and touches your food completely.

and then retracts into the device and then you take the blade off of it and you clean the blade but you don't clean the post that holds the blade it touches your food there's

There's just no way that that's sanitary. I have one, and I really like the Ninja Creamy because you can get, like, I can get completely sugar-free, like, dessert things that are, you know, kind of ice cream-y. Like, it's good. It's fine. There's no way that that's sanitary, right? There's a metal thing that, boop, and still touches your food. I think you're onto something there. And it's dairy. A lot of it's dairy because it's for ice cream. Yeah.

air quotes anyway that doesn't mean anything but ninja creamy good brand oh that's me now i'm gonna leave it on brand names wade i want you to succeed at this one i think you can do it

A whole chicken by Chicken Man. I might have stolen that from an SNL skit. Yeah, no, I know that's good. Does your man like chicken? Then he might like Chicken Man. I'll allow it. I'll allow it. That is not a real brand, but that is a brand name of chicken. A wolf...

microwave like mine that refuses, that is all touchscreen based. There's no physical knobs and in the middle of cooking it, it decides to add random minutes at random power levels all the time. Ha!

I fucking hate that microwave. What the shit? I've never heard of that brand. Wolf makes a lot of appliances. They make stoves and stuff. They're a higher end brand. It's supposed to be nice stuff. This stuff sucks. I don't like it. It all blows. And who builds a microwave with only touchscreens when you're jabbing it with dirty fingers and it just shorts the whole panel out? Don't worry. I've got higher end PVC pipe for my shit to flow through. I get you. Yeah, get a wolf pipe.

I don't want random power levels for my shit. It'll just randomly flush or not flush depending on how it feels. All right. No more brand names. Back to Wade. Non-electrical.

Oh, a nice, sturdy plastic dustpan. Sure. A nice, sturdy wooden straw filled boom. A boom. Boom. I thought I had my Baskin-Robbins broom already. Oh, you know what? You're right. Well, this is a new category. It's the same category. It's just a new subcategory. We're still doing household items that would definitely kill you in a Goosebumps book.

Oh, I thought this was an entirely new category. I got it. Okay, I see. Sorry, yeah, same category. This is just directions, in-betweens. So it's still me? Wade's turn. A rug. Would a rug kill you in Goosebumps? Oh, yeah, it would, like, come alive, like a bearskin rug, or just, like, the little ends would strangle you. All right. Couch. Suck you into the cushions. Sure, sure. Smaller. Chair. Chair.

Nice good, okay, that's technically yeah candle. Oh even smaller. Oh, yeah fires not electric I was like it's fire you idiot you can't do that You dumbass Even smaller spare change I could see it toothpick or the toothpick container. Yeah pocket lint. Yeah, I'll do it beans

it came from beneath the beans i remember that one car no wait wait what did you say car a candy bar i must have said candy bar did you say car out loud that's a third strike bud yeah i was like no that's big and electrical don't say it good try buddy i believe in you i gotta say i don't know if i said it yet i am sick today guys so uh

Sorry. We did this to you. You make me sick. Things that sound like a government cover up. Marcos first. Real things or made up things? Yeah, you can make stuff up.

This is when the good ideas come out. Scary tape. It can't be every time I'm trying to think of kids. On the moon. What the fuck would even do this? What would satisfy this? Pass. I want to see what Wade does so I know where to go. I wasn't ready. I was going to see what you did to figure it out. Okay. You know what sounds like a government cover-up? Powdered lightning.

It's like Watergate, but different. Alright, okay. Alright, that's how it goes. Alright, alright. I'll throw one out if you want. I had childproof caps on medicine bottles. That's more descriptive than powdered lightning. I was just going with a name of like a cover-up. You're going with the actual description. Okay, description. Description. I mean, you can use as many words as you can think of. All

All together. Come on, conspiracy bros. What are we doing here? Give me real conspiracies, which we've talked about before. Oh, yeah.

Because they often sound like government cover-up. MKUltra? I'll allow it. Why was that one not close? What do you want? What are you looking for? What do you want? Good job, Mark. You did it. Rechargeable car batteries. Why don't they want us to get rid of them? I appreciate the tone. I'm going to give you a strike on that one. Me? No, I gave Mark a strike for your answer. Mark, continue.

understand the rules caps to medicine but not a car batter they're shooting stars they're just to cover up for something i don't know what but it's covering something up yes check good job luigi bro killing the health care guy oh sure yeah half dome why is it only half they're shining some where's the other half the truth will come out someday the moon

See, there you go. That's what I'm getting at. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Is that an under-the-breath Kool-Aid man reference? Subtle, but I like it. Yellowstone, there's no way Old Faithful goes off that regularly. It's got to be something. Oh, aliens. I just want to see Mark do this more. I'll allow it.

Take a look at the planets. Only one of them circled. Why? What's so important about that one?

They know. That's classic. That's very clever. Who went first? Is Mark first? Oh, we're changing? Man, I should really remember these type of things. Well, I was going to give you a direction. Maybe this will help. He went first, then he passed. I said powdered lightning. Oh, yeah, he passed. All right, so yeah, Mark's up. Just, we'll simplify it. One word. Oh, fuck. You only need to think of one word. Santa. Perfect. Conspiracy. Wait, that's the...

I'm going to go ahead and give that one a strike, bud. You know, I appreciate the effort, though. All right. That's fair, honestly. But don't answer cars next time. What France?

How did I simultaneously create a game that's too easy and too hard? Like, the previous rounds went on and on and on and on and on. And then this fucking... God, this must be one of the worst games I've put out for you guys. No, no, it's just this particular one is difficult because I'm like, what sounds like a government cover-up? I don't know. You just have to ask yourself, what are they hiding? Oh.

Pick your favorite word, man. Antarctica. Oh, wow. The come from behind victory pulls it off. All right, Wade, you're on two strikes. Mouthwash. All right. No more one word. You can say as many words as you want, but I want the answers to be stupid. Floored. We put it in the water. Stupid.

what he said he wanted damn that was your answer yeah you said you wanted them to be stupid how more stupid can it get than saying that back no yeah no yeah i'm clearly biased against you because that's your third strike you're out of here thank god

Unless... Hold on, where's my coin? Oh god. I think this game should keep going. Unfair! Okay. So you are challenging that it's unfair that that ends that specific round that you think you should continue to do. I think stupid was a stupid answer. Well, that's true, but I wasn't looking for... Alright.

So if we get all heads, then Wade wins. If we get all tails, then Wade loses. And it was fair, and shall be made doubly fair. Yes. I got tails.

fails oh damn it turns out it was perfectly right it was the right amount of fair reflip un-unfair fair double dog unfair i appreciate that you tried that way all right well i can't argue anymore the coin is declared that was fair the point is declared that was very fair the fairest possibly

Fairest of them all, I might say. I haven't felt this way, quite this way about an episode I've hosted since probably the one that was called the worst piece of shit episode ever. And I felt way worse during that episode. But I thought going into this, I thought this is such a good idea. It is a good idea. Why are you feeling like it's bad? No, it needs revamped. It needs to be. This is going to be a good episode. This is my perfect crime. We'll revisit this. For now, I'm going to stop torturing Mark.

And I'm going to read the points that you both earned. Mark, you earned points for poor Rory. And they did. I'm in California. Talking about VO3 things. Yarn. Snake. Goosebumps. Oh, yawn, not yarn. Floored in the water. You won the government cover-ups round. Wow.

Despite how tough that one was for you, you really pulled that out. Wade, you earned points for I have a good memory. Somehow still having plumbing issues. Picture of shit. Your shit, in parentheses. I was an anal birth. You won the round for places being watched. Point for is this France? Point for CreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeO.

Sprat! Point for winning mistaken gods and point for only one planet is circled. Just saying, that one's real. The fairest question that anyone possibly ever has raised. And I almost just clicked hang up on the call. Let's not do that. Hang on. All right, let's see how many bonus points we get this time. Oh, you have to add one too. Oh, that's right.

Three. Two. Good job, Wade. We're on it today. I'm on it today, man. Do we have a bonus point for hardest thinker? I don't think so. I don't think we do. Ah, my time. Mark, we do a lot of philosophy, you know? And Mark just really applied himself today. So I want to recognize. Game recognize game. So first of two spins. 0.4 viewer. Oh, no.

Sudden death. It's a tie. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

We've never seen that one pop up. This takes us directly to spinning the tie wheel then, right? This ends the game officially as a tie. I have a chance! Damn. Man, imagine if that had come up on an episode where one of us was like 12 points ahead of the other one.

I feel like that happened this episode. I don't know. I got a lot of strikes. No, you guys were... Strikes didn't cost you anything. That's the thing. You're allowed to get strikes. I didn't like them. I haven't seen the winner's wheel in a bit. Hey, it's all set up. I need to increase this one, I think. It's currently at 72. We've not seen this in so long, I forget. It's out of 360 degrees, right? So 72 divided by 360 is 20%. So yeah, I need 0.22...

of 360 is 79.2 is what this says so 79 we'll say oh man that's big man look at how big that is well i hope one of you wins hooray you want to bet it all on red oh thank god yes oh there is a god

Oh, I already used unfair. Spin again. Respin, respin, respin. All right. Mark is the winner. Hey, wait. It says wait right now. Fucking who cares? All I care about is thank God the next person has to do 20, almost a one in four chance of getting the one man show. Mark, just imagine you won the one man show with like a 16% chance before. Yeah. Yeah. How lucky. Well, you are lucky because you are today's winner. Yeah.

I am. And, uh, so let's get out of the way. Wade, give us a loser speech. You know, I really came in here giving it my all. I tried to think outside of the box, but it turns out inside the box is where I should have been. I should have avoided stupid, I should have avoided friends, and I should have avoided my underpants. But here we are. Shit got real.

Just like the shit in your basement. I do have to, I want to acknowledge and apologize, Wade. I am very clearly biased against you. I don't know if there's anything I can do to fix it, but I'm just going to try and acknowledge it publicly more so that the subreddit knows that I know. It's okay. I've got this. I'm going to continue to favor Mark pretty aggressively. Mark, you won fair and square. The wheel said it should be so. And so it should be. Give us a speech.

Who wrote that speech for you? Uh... Someone.

That was too good for you. Just assume that was way too many words. He could not possibly. I've heard you wordsmith, and that was too many wordsmiths wording for you. Anyway, congratulations, Mark. Mark is going to host the next one. And congratulations to whoever has to spin the wheel of winners, because it's going to be 24% next time on the one man show. Check out Mark and Wade at their usernames on the Internet, which are generally weird.

Below are, they're on the, they're on there. So if you're not a watcher, I'm not going to spell them for you. Anyway, so just search for, you know, whatever. Bald Settlers of Catan. You'll find Wade. Thank you so much for watching. Thanks so much for listening. Just like I favor Mark, I always favor the watchers. And like we always say, podcast out!