Don't Get Me Started
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This episode of Distractable is brought to you by Doom: The Dark Ages. Id Software presents Doom: The Dark Ages, a dark fantasy sci-fi experience that brings epic combat and over-the-top visuals to the legendary Doom franchise. Dominate demon-infested battlefields with devastating weapons, soar on a mecha dragon, and witness the creation of a legend as the Slayer takes on Hell itself.

Doom the Dark Ages, available now on Xbox Series X and S, PlayStation 5, and PC. Rated M for Mature. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, Masticating Mark gets into the ape issue, then invites his allies to rant hard.

Billius Bob finally gets his drugs, has ass tetanus, frames combustion, is vexed over vacations, then annihilates Eeyore. Wifed up Wade ruts with Blue, dodges a setup, bashes boats and fucks furries. From Sleeve Tarris to Mining Tragedy,

It's time for Don't Get Me Started. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hi, welcome to Distractible. I'm not done eating my bagel, so I'm going to let these two gentlemen take over the intro for me.

You've never seen Mark before. This is him. This is what Mark looks like with half a shirt and a bagel in his mouth. Do you just not have cream cheese or did you intend to eat a plain bagel? It sounds like a judgment. That sounds really unpleasant. I'm sorry, do you not have good shirts? Do they not sell whole shirts where you live anymore? You know, the tariffs.

I didn't want to pay extra to get the sleeves imported. Like a Force Awakens one half portion of shirt. All you've scavenged for today. Well, this is distractible and that was a great introduction to what this podcast was. It's a podcast where you are trapped. Ha ha. You got tricked into this podcast. You could have picked any of the other ones on the top list, but here we are and here you are forever and ever. You have to listen to all the episodes now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

There's some good ones. There's some good ones. Some. Wait, are you miming being trapped in some kind of a cage or box? Yeah, my rope went through, but my head didn't. It's comedy. That's the kind of humor you can expect here in this Dragon Ball. Hard, fast jokes, faster than you can react to them. Don't even bother laughing. You're going to hear another joke so soon.

If you laughed at every joke that showed up in this podcast, why, you'd run out of laughs in the first 30 seconds. Well, it's going to be another one of those hilarious ones today because I'm hosting. And that means I won the last one. What disgusting story are we starting this episode with? That's what we do now, right? We're not at all. We're going to start with whatever you guys have to say. Whether it's disgusting or not is up to you. Do you know the original way they removed tapeworms?

Chainsaw! A real little one. You swallow the chainsaw and it goes through your digestive tract and it'll definitely cut up that tapeworm. I have a not interesting life update. I've complained about this and this is, I stole Mark's idea for this one, but I've been trying to get my medication, my medicine sorted out and I've talked about this multiple times. It's been more than two months since

And yesterday I got the correct prescription for the first time. By which I mean, it's still technically not. It's supposed to be a 90 day supply. And for some reason they maxed out at giving me an 83 day supply. But,

But at 80 days, I can refill it. So I basically have what I need as long as nothing bad happens or I need an extra couple days to get my medicine from the pharmacy or whatever. It's fine. It's fine. Why 83? Where in the hell? I could not.

tell you, but the fact that they gave me as much as they did, I was like, I'll take it. This is a win. Count this as a win. God, fuck. Even the pharmacists. I've never had this before. Usually the pharmacists don't really care, right? Like you go and they're nice and they feel you. They don't care. I know the pharmacists now. I know all of the pharmacists at my pharmacy. And when I come in every time until yesterday, every time I come in, they're all, oh no.

No, no, Bob. We got to talk. We got to talk. I called the insurer and the doctor again, and we got to talk. And then I came in yesterday, and literally they were like, whoo! Yeah! Everybody! And everyone in the CVS was like, what the fuck is that? And I was like, just give me, stop. Give me my insulin. Oh!

Anyway, that's not terribly exciting, but man, is it a relief to get that done one time successfully and pray to God it happens again when I need it. We'll see. I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm really happy for you. I know that pain and I understand it very well. And I'm glad that they all applaud for you. They don't do that for me. No, I'm really nice to them so that they like me. Sam handsome. Wait, who's flirting with you these days? Oh, my wife once a week.

We schedule it. We schedule flirting time. Three o'clock! Flirt! You have to, like, force her to begrudgingly do it. Well, don't you look human today. Oh, babe. You don't look any more bald than I remember. You getting a haircut soon? Because you're gross.

Did you shower yet today? Cause I can smell that you didn't. Um, I don't know what's new. I like blueprints a lot. I'm still playing it. I had a run. So blueprints is a game. It's like a roguelite puzzle game. I just made a video on it. I know all about it. Yeah. Just, just now, just when we recorded this, I had a run that lasted like two hours. One day lasted like two hours. I had all these things fall into place. I was solving puzzles left and right.

And then I unlocked this thing and this cut scene happened and I was like, oh my God, this is the best day I've ever had in this. And then the game crashed.

And it reset that day. Nothing came up the same. I remembered some of the solutions and things I figured out, so I had that knowledge. But it was a crushing, defeating feeling to have that time. Everything. I was like, I need this. I got this. I need. Oh, my God, I got that. I got all these things. And then to lose it all. That was a little while ago. I posted an episode that came out on that. But I've been playing since then. And I've had a couple more big victory days since.

I don't know. I don't do a lot of puzzle games But I also don't know a game that I've played where I've felt more rewarded for figuring something out like the way I feel This that like that bit of dopamine rush or whatever it is whenever something goes, right? It's just like you fork It's so good whenever something clicks in place and you figure something out and then like you get to accomplish something in that game Something about it is so addicting. I I'm not looking forward to the game ending. I

Because I just want more. I'm like on day 28 or something as of this recording, but I just want more. You should show off your rat's nest of notes and stuff. I don't want to spoil anything, so Mark, you can't try to read any of this, alright? Oh, okay. But I've got pages of notes. You can't read it. It's Wade's handwriting. It's basically hieroglyphics. I've got conspiracy theory. I've got useless things written down. There are things I wish I... I'm like, I go back and I see like a video and I'm like...

Why didn't you write that down? It's painful, but...

This is more notes I've taken playing that game than I've taken since, like, high school or college. Podcast notes? Not even close. Yeah, than any of the episodes of Distractible. Nothing like that. Wow, that's crazy. What I write for this? Not even close to the work I put in for Blueprints. I had a puzzle I was trying to solve for Blueprints. This isn't a spoiler, because I got it wrong here. But I was writing down letters of things, and I was like, okay, this room, F. This room. And I was writing down different things, and I got...

FRIES! And I was like, "Oh my god, there's a food clue! Fries!" I kept writing down letters like, "FRIES! A-L-G-G-H-T-K-S!" FRIES! AL-G-G-G-G-G-G-S! WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!

Is that a food? I don't know. There's like a stupid recording. There's like dumb me looking at the camera like, what is fries? Does anyone know? Let me know in the comments what fries is. I love that for you. Great game. But man, there are moments where I feel genius and there are moments where I feel like the dumbest person alive. Yeah, my episode has that. I stared at a puzzle for

30 minutes, pulled it up into MS Paint, tried to decode it, really analyzing it. And then

And I spend like 45 minutes trying to solve it, and I give up, and I have to go look up something, and I just... I can't tell you what it was, but it was so astronomically stupid. I had five of the eight letters that it could have possibly be. The end, the last four is song, and that's not a spoiler, because that's part of the clue that you get. The first letter's S, and I'm like, I can't figure out what these three fucking letters are. And if I even thought of it for like two seconds, it would...

On top of all the notes I just showed you, I have at least 34 photos on my phone of other things I've been like, I'm not writing this whole thing down, but something in there is important. Ker-chunk. Yeah.

If only I was taking 60 frames, photos per second of this cha-chunk of this, I don't know what time. And then the comment will be like, Wade, you left six keys behind. You missed four gems. You missed an upgrade. You forgot to open a door. You turned around here. You didn't see the light flashing at you at this time. Like, I missed the most obvious shit while I'm like, I'm pretty sure the dust on this table wasn't here the last time I drafted this room. Yeah, I get that. Yeah.

But then like the guy standing in the corner with an axe, I don't notice because I'm an idiot. Oh God, don't tell me there's a guy standing in the corner with an axe in that game. I won't tell you if there is or isn't. Shit. All right, well, that's fine. Just be on the lookout. Bob, any exciting avenues? That was so exciting on Wade's Prep. I put a new roof on the playset. I ordered a custom dimensions tarp.

because our playset is a non-standard size for some fucking reason and then I screwed it in so now there's a yellow roof on James' playset in the backyard. There is nothing worse than a non-standard size of anything because when something breaks, when you have a door or a window or anything that's not the exact standard size, then it's like, well, we make windows but you want us to cut one window that's an inch thicker?

Oh, that's gonna cost you at least an extra $10,000. Huh?

well the funny thing is it's just a tarp so it didn't cost anything it was just a pain in the ass like it was still it was still just $20 but I had they had to it was just like I had to figure out how to custom order a tarp from the internet but yeah apparently every other playset in existence they only sell one size of playset roof things because they're all the same but not ours we got a special one for whatever reason so it's cool

I hope nothing on it ever breaks. Also, I dropped a screw in the play area and I never found it. So James is getting a tetanus shot at some point in the future here. Literally, I was like, I was putting the last screw in on the thing and I was like, it like exploded out of existence. I, Mandy looked for it. God knows, probably flip my ass. Oh, you need to have someone look at your ass. I wouldn't even notice. That's how that's,

Kind of ass I have. I'm glad it was just a custom-sized tarp you needed, Bob. Couldn't you have just gotten... Was it bigger, I'm guessing, than what the normal tarp would be? It was smaller. So couldn't you have just gotten an oversized tarp? Or do you just need to fix it, like, gloves over it or something? Well, you have to screw it in, right? And if you don't have grommets and you screw into the tarp, it's just going to rip. And I could have grommeted my own tarp, but I've never done that. So

So I was like, well, I found a thing where I can get exactly the dimensions I want, so I can order literally the exact same size, and it fits, and I can screw it into the same holes. But, like, it was just a thing where it's like, they sell every color and type of roof for playsets you could possibly imagine, all in the one size they're supposed to be. And that's it. And I was like, I even found the brand of the playset, and, like...

They don't even sell it. They sell this playset, but not the thing you need to put on top of it. It's because they can't find the right size. Yeah, they were like, well, fuck, nobody makes these in this size. Don't have a roof, I guess. That way the birds poop into it. Cats poop under it, birds poop onto it. That's what my dad always said. He's just singing to get the bonus point, Will. Bob, get all your bonus point things in. I'm gonna eat.

I wouldn't eat that if I were you, laddie! It's a container of barbecue sauce. I'm not going to eat that. I don't think any of you could eat more than the bagel I ate at the beginning of this, so I think I kind of win that one. Oh.

That's true. Fuck. Oh, we weren't recording. I ate half a sandwich. It was a big sandwich. I ate a whole meal. It was a big double-decker club sandwich, but it was before I clicked record. Who do you think looks more like their background? Me or Bob? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,

What a callback. Right? No. No, it's not. No, it's not. I know this one. What a callback, right? All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

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wherever it goes. We have many things to discuss today, or I guess kind of discuss, but then let's start off with something that really, you know,

Really grinds my gears. I knew you were going to say that! Alright. I'm giving you a bonus point in my head even though I'm not hosting. I'm having the best time right now. I'm having a ball. Don't stop now. So I'm actually not much on the internet these days besides just browsing Reddit sometimes. So I don't know where this debate originated, but if you heard discussion about 100 guys versus one gorilla...

Yeah. Sure. Right. Okay. Where do you stand on this? So the premise is who would win in a fight? 100 normal sized men or one gorilla, all just unarmed combat. I feel like it would be just about the worst win you could imagine, but 100 guys has to take it just...

just by sheer number. But that's like one guy would barely survive and that would be the end of it. But it would be awful. That's my gut feeling. I don't actually... I don't have any reason I know that, but that's just how I feel.

That's what I think. It's just, I think about this and I can't understand anybody that's on the side of the gorilla because yeah, it's a 600 pound gorilla was what I saw quoted as, but it's a hundred guys, a hundred guys. If they all weigh 150 pounds, which might be close to average. I don't know. That's 15,000 pounds of guy, a hundred, a hundred women could also take down a gorilla. Easy.

Just sacrifice half of them to be at the bottom of the pile and you crush them all together. Yeah, it would be really bad for the women or it would be bad for the humans no matter who they were. But there's just too many. I feel like changing the number is where it gets interesting. Because if you say 10 guys versus one gorilla, gorilla.

Obviously. Let's not get ahead of ourselves because I want to walk this down. This isn't the whole episode, but I actually really just wanted to kind of have this conversation. I'm into it. I'm into it. All right, we'll call this Nah, I'd Win Part 4. Okay. 100 guys win easy.

I feel like you're in the same ballpark. It's too many guys. It's too many. All right, let's just jump all the way to 50. 50 guys, one gorilla. I still think the guys win. This is territory where I would say in my gut, I would like nine out of 10 times the guys have it, but it's theoretically possible that a really lucky or really strong gorilla maybe takes 50 guys. 50? No.

Like maybe. Like there's a slight chance, but I would pick the guys. If we were betting, I would pick the guys. If we change the parameters, I'm assuming an average dude and average gorilla, just to keep it consistent. I'm always picturing average dudes, average gorilla. I still feel like 50 is just too... Like there's too many people to grab and hold. Like you send five guys per limb, and then you still have 40 to go for the body. But they can't get like...

that's the thing, right? You're reaching territory where it's, you can't all get your hands on the gorilla at the same time. And it's not enough people where you can just literally have like a pile of humanity on top. It's probably close to that still like it, but it's enough where like if the gorilla is get some space and starts picking people off, if the guys lose too many too quickly, there's a turning point.

I don't think it's likely the gorilla would win, but I feel like this is in territory where the gorilla starts to have more of a chance if they're like lucky or they're really smart or something. The way, the way I look at it is, um, if, if I'm, let's say I'm the gorilla and I'm the biggest, baddest gorilla there is record-breaking big gorilla. If I see 50 guys emerge from the forest line coming at me, I'm scared. I don't care how bad as of a gorilla I am. I'm scared. I'm scared.

I'm like, holy shit. What the fuck? 50? I'd be like, I think a lot of people are like, oh, the people would be scared. That gorilla would be fucking petrified. Holy shit, where did all these people come from? So I think, okay, I get it. There's like a 1% chance the gorilla would. Yeah, that's where I'm coming from. But it's really low. I would still definitely bet on the people. Yeah, I would bet on the people. All right, 25%.

That's still five per limb and five to just go after the torso. You gotta think five dudes could hold back a gorilla arm, right? It would probably take more than two to hold back one limb of this 600-pound gorilla. It would take more than two for sure. As a person who regularly has to wrangle a toddler, I can tell you it's, in theory, it sounds like, yeah, you just hold the arm back, but the thing about body...

physics body mechanics is it's not like there's a fixed system and the arm hinges off the side if you hold the arm back all of that torque is still applied to the body or is used to leverage the other arm like there's a lot i would still if i was betting money on it i would still bet on 25 people

But this is way more in the territory of like, if the gorilla gets some lucky shots and takes out 5, 10 people right off the bat, and you're knocked down to like 15 or less, immediately the people are like, oh, we're fucked. Like, this is, there's not enough. I think a gorilla could win against 25, but if I'm betting, it's 25 dudes. I would still bet on people, but it would be a way closer fight.

in my head. Yeah, it'd be like one to five odds, you know, probably proportional to the amount of people there. So probably the tipping point is if you get below 20 people, it really starts to get dicey. Like you got to really have some coordination there to make sure that it's not able to pick you guys off.

or pick one person up and hit five other with one person, you know, and that's when... Yeah, well, that's kind of what I'm imagining, right? If the gorilla is as strong as I imagine, they could literally pick a person up by the ankle and just like, yeah, and then it's like they got... Then they have a weapon, which is, you know...

Awful, if you're the people. The tricky thing is, though, with a gorilla, it still, assuming it's a male gorilla, still has testicles to hit and still has eyes to gouge out. Now, whether or not you're going for those, that's where I'm kind of like, okay, humans are smart and they can communicate. So even if you don't have a plan going ahead in time, you could still shout, go for the eye!

eyes and everyone's like gun like doing this for the eyes like it would it would definitely do some things 20 and below you'd have to have that coordination you have to have another enough people that are willing to dive for it which as you get lower in number you get less percentage of random people that would be willing to like all right let's fucking go you might have half of them that are like i don't want to jump in there

And you might have like two or three. That's an important sort of assumption on this is I'm imagining all of this where the people, the option for the people is, uh,

However many people... We're going to dump you in this arena... And you're going to fight this gorilla... Or we're just going to shoot you... Because if it's people where there's any alternative... Even if it's a hundred people... Most of those people are going to see the gorilla... And be like... Fuck that! And try and get away... You're not going to have every single person... Being like...

I don't care if I die, let's claw his eyes out. I'm assuming there's a pretty high level of dedication where it's like, either you fight the fucking gorilla with everything you got or you die anyway. So it's going to be crazy. Unless they're from where my grandparents' cabin was in Kentucky, where I'm pretty sure everyone there thinks they can solo a bear. Listen, Moonshine does some crazy shit. That'd be...

Yeah. There's this, um, like, uh, I forget where it was, but you know, like Joe Rogan always goes on about like, Oh, gorillas and no, no guy could, could take him down. Um, but I don't know if this was him saying, or someone else on the show or someone else just talking about unrelated, but I always, I always described to this as, do you think that one guy could take a gorilla?

Or one guy could ever take a bear. Ever. Ever. Any guy, strongest guy on earth, taking a full-on grizzly bear or a... With no, like, no guns, no weapons. It's just like a fist fight. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

I feel like that's a one. That's a one in a million. Even if it was the most muscular, highly trained weapon of a human I could imagine, a whole grown grizzly bear or a grown male gorilla doesn't really give a shit, I don't think, about that person and could still basically tear them in half. A grizzly bear for sure. There's no way. Just like...

it wouldn't happen. But... Maybe I'm underestimating people's, but that just seems ridiculous to me. If you got behind it where it would, like, choke it or something, maybe? I don't know how much they can reach with their claws and tear that direction. Like, maybe? I think even if they just fell over backwards onto you, that would be pretty rough. Find the nearest tree and just...

scratch, scratch, and paste on that tree. Yeah. But I will say, I can't remember who said it, but it was like, you do need those people that are like, I can take a bear because otherwise, uh, and again, this isn't me saying this. Otherwise back in like caveman days, you don't take down the woolly mammoth. You don't do it unless you have that guy that's nuts and being like, nah, fuck it. Let's do this gang. I'm exactly. You need your Leroy sometimes, even though

Leroy can get himself and others killed for sure. Hey, Leroy Jenkins! One out of every ten Leroys brought down a mammoth. That's why we're here today. It's the combo, right? It's like, I feel like the space race springs to mind for this for me. The guys who were going up in the capsules, the test pilots and the early astronauts, were clearly like, strap me on the front of this thing that's probably just gonna fucking explode.

and blow my ass into space and see what happens. And all the scientists are like, wow, wait, hey, maybe we can make this safer. Like, let's up your odds a little. Hang on. Like, it's the combination of the crazy, brave, insane person who's like, I don't care, I'll do it. And everyone else being like, let's help him.

This reminds me, a totally different subject, but you saying that, have you heard of the XF-84H Thunder Screech? Yes! Yes! Yeah, well, I don't want to spoil it. You can... Oh, no, no, I just pulled it up. You can talk about it. That's the plane where the... It's a propeller plane. It's a prop plane, right? But the engine...

rotates the propeller so fast that the tips of the blades create constant, they're constantly breaking the sound barrier. And so they create a constant persistent sonic boom. So as the thing flies, it's one of the loudest things humans have ever created. If you exclude like the largest nuclear detonations,

But like, it's so loud that people 20 miles away when it was doing test flights or further heard it like a fighter jet was flying right over their house and were like terrified of it. And flying it inside the pilot inside of it was so loud that it like physically disabled the pilots. They would get sick or...

or disoriented, it basically was like giving them concussions just for trying to fly this plane normally at normal speed for the way it functioned. Craziest fucking plane ever. They got a test pilot to do it, because anyone that actually tried to pilot, they would go up and immediately come back down and be like, fuck this. But finally they got someone to take a like 30 minute flight and

And I think he came down with a concussion. Like, he literally had a concussion by the time he landed. It was that bad. I...

That plane is such a, just the best invention. It's like no one can fly it. Everyone for 150 miles hears when it's in the air. It's the most terrifying, useless, loud thing. And it was not, it's not like it was a propeller plane that could go like so fast that it was, it was just kind of a fast plane thing.

That had no other, it was just In 200 years we'll find out that that invention led to some other use that's completely crazy and different Now when you're trying to give birth Sometimes what you need You know what's gonna get that baby out of there? Just sonic booms going right into the womb Just put the propeller in reverse, it sucks Nothing scares a baby out of the uterus like constant sonic booms You know where they made that plane?

Uh, wasn't it like New Mexico or something? Wright-Patterson. Hey, that's right by us. Well, that explains why I had all those headaches a couple weeks ago. Well, if you were alive in 1955, that would explain many things that we know about you, but also, yeah. Oh, that's when they did it? They had the propellers that fast in 1955? I guess we had atomic technology. It's the tip of the propeller, right? So it's not like the entire face of the propeller is traveling faster than the speed of sound, but the tip...

Which is the part with the highest velocity because it's furthest from the road. It's just the design of the thing. They were trying to design a plane to go faster, but it turns out there's kind of a limit on that because if the tips of your propellers break the sound barrier, then it is like flying a giant fucking explosion for every moment it's on and flying.

Yeah, absolutely. I'm sure it's awful, but I really wish that like you could go see like at air show, they would have one of those fly over, but like you, you could, you couldn't, you wouldn't be allowed to do that. I would just be so fascinated to hear something that loud. I can't imagine. Then you hear it and you're like, all right, never again. I'm good. You hear it and it's like a hundred miles away and you're like, all right, all

all right that's pretty loud all right okay that's enough that's enough planes dude i can't handle whenever i knock over like we've used like a baby gate to keep the dogs out of certain spots when that falls over and hits like wood or something that noise is too loud for me i don't want to hear a fucking sonic boom over my head oh yeah no i would i would not actually like it but i'm just it's a very fascinating thing that that plane existed and and

Anyway, all right, so that was a side tangent. Oh, yeah, the gorillas. The real thing we're going to be talking about today is actually, it's one of the few suggestions that we're taking from the subreddit. I don't know if you guys saw the post, but someone was very excited to share this idea. I don't fucking go out there anymore. All right.

So anyway, there's a post. Once you read this, you'll understand all caps make it happen subreddit. And usually if I see something like that, I'm like, I'm not going to take this idea out of spite because this is silly. But agreeable middle 769. They said they didn't make it. They found it on Pinterest. Before we get into it, did we figure out the number? It's 5050 gorilla people. What is our 5050 number? I want to know. 5050? Yeah.

average people i would put it around 15 to 20 would be a 50 50 shot either way i want to say 15 would be very pretty pretty even pretty 50 50 i was thinking 12 12 for me 12 that's

That's not crazy. That sounds reasonable to me. Yeah, 12. I could see 12 because then a gorilla would still be like, shit, 12. If it's a number that I imagine the gorilla would be like, oh, I don't like these odds, then that's about 50-50. 12, I guess, would make sense.

It's enough for everyone to get in there at once. It's enough for everyone to grab some part of this gorilla. It's enough you could lose some people and it's not immediately bad when you lose one. 10 is like pushing it. For some reason, yeah. For some reason, I'm like, 10? I think a gorilla could take 10. But I don't know why I'm like, ah, but 12.

That's two more than 10. It makes sense. There's something about those kinds of thresholds. Like 10 isn't a natural threshold, but okay. So you have, I think I remember seeing a documentary on the history and all, or discovery something about this, where if you got a tiger in the woods and they see two others, it's,

It's nowhere near as bad suddenly if it goes from 2 to 3. Like 1v2 is like, you could be like, okay, if I really play this right, 1v3, I'm like, there's no fucking way. So it was something about a tiger seeing that. And animals and we humans think in terms of those kind of logarithmic scales, not necessarily binary, like doubling. 1 to 2 isn't as bad as 1 to 3 is suddenly very bad.

3 to 4 is very little difference. You know, you have to hit a threshold higher to something. I think 12 is that threshold higher than 10. It really starts to make a difference. I don't know why, but it does. It feels that way to me. Anyway, the reason I talk about this is because in this post that they made, which is a post they found on Pinterest, which is a post that originally was made on Tumblr, which has 784,000 notes,

There's a game that this person Flashing Lights likes to call Don't Get Me Started, which is where on a random topic that I'm going to give one of you guys, you have to go on an angry rant

about how it's the you just fucking don't get me started about x when for me it was don't get me started about 100 people versus one gorilla there's no fucking way that gorilla is gonna lose this fight 100 people you shitting me 100 like you know so 100 people with no legs could take down a gorilla you know it's just like go off on that oh that's interesting

100 people, no limbs? No, not no limbs. Just teeth. Just mouths and... Just flopping. Come at me, gorilla. Maybe by pure exhaustion, the gorilla would get tired by the 80th person. He could probably get away with having a nap in the middle of killing everybody. Yeah, you just...

As long as he's still laid down far enough away, probably have some time. Yeah. Oh, man. But if you see a hundred limbless people rolling down at you, it's... Yeah, I wouldn't take that fight. That's not good. All right. So I got a random topic. I just saw the first one. Oh, good. I think Wade goes first. Who gets this one? All right. Heads Wade, tails Bob. I forget if that's a normal one. Sure, sure, sure. Ha ha!

Heads? Heads Wade! Heads Wade! Oh, good. Yeah, I can't wait. First topic that popped up in literally the random topic generator is motherhood. I mean, good. Hey, you don't have to. You don't have to. You could abstain. Yes, I do. So I go off on a tangent. Don't get me started on motherhood. You have to start whatever you're saying with, don't get me started about motherhood.

Don't even get me started about motherhood. Motherhood? So much more complex and difficult than we give credence to. Everyone's like, oh man, being a dad, you have to deal with your wife being pregnant. She's got cravings. She's got mood swings. The baby's here. Wow, wow. I don't get as much attention as I used to. My workflow's disrupted. I don't get as much sleep. Mama's got chemical stuff going on. She's got chemical changes from the moment of conception all the way down through to birth. After birth,

Alright, alright.

I feel like you took, uh, you, you, you try, you know, you did. I'll give you a point for it, but you didn't go the way that we all made.

- Oh, you should have gone. - I know what way you wanted me to go. I'm not alienating half the fan base. - Look man, we're all playing, it's a game. - My heart will go out to Elon and I'll talk about gay wind. I'm not going after moms. - All right, fair enough, fair enough. But I'll give you a point for that, but I guess I'll give you- - My balls are only so big, dude. - All right, Bob, lighters. That's your random topic. - Oh, don't get me started about lighters.

Fire anytime you want it with the flick of a finger? That's what humanity needed. Do you know why cavemen had to rub sticks together? It was a safety precaution. You know how danger it is to have a little bomb in your pocket?

You're hanging out at the gas station fueling your car? Bomb in your pocket. You're at the school for career day talking to your kid's class? Bomb in your pocket. You're at the hockey game getting drunk? Cheering on your favorite Canadians? Bomb in your pocket. Don't even get me started about lighters. Like I need more shit to be worried about on a daily basis. Plus, you know what having a lighter leads to?

Smoking cigarettes. That's right, lighters cause cancer. Lighters are worse than cancer because lighters could give cancer to people who didn't even have to begin with. Some people are born that way. And some people figure out how to use a lighter and grow up to get cancer. Thanks, big fire. Some people are born this way. Some people are born this way.

That was good. All right. All right. Okay. Uh, let's say controversial topic, motherhood, the lighters. These are equally tough things to be angry about. Oh, give me politics. Give me abortion. Give me, come on. Death penalty. Something. I look way. This one will be much more fair, but not to you. Uh,

I think personally, it's random. It's so random. I believe it. Yeah. We have two wheels. Random topic and controversial topic wheel. No, no. It's not controversial, but it's not fair to you. Boats.

Don't even get me started on boats. We are not meant to be out on the fucking water. We're meant to be on land. We have legs, we have arms, we started crawling around on all fours. You know what you don't start off doing? Swimming. You're not born into a vat of tub of water, milk, or whatever have you. You're born onto land. There are water births, sure, but those aren't fucking natural. The cavemen were like, oh, baby come born, need tub of water, put on boat. No. But

We don't belong on boats! We don't belong in space! We belong on fucking dirt where we can walk and grow plants and eat ants and all that kind of shit. What are you gonna eat out on a fucking boat? You gonna catch a bird with your bare hand? No, you need even more tools. And then you need a bigger fucking boat to hold all those tools so you can get your fish, you can get your birds. Whereas I can just walk down the fucking road and grab a goddamn squirrel off the road. Easy peasy! But you can't do that!

You can't do that in the fucking water. You're going to dive in and out swim a fish? No. You're going to out fly a bird? No. Let's just waste more resources for bigger boats so we can fucking survive out there whenever we don't even need to do that shit. Oh, but it's so peaceful having a nice sea breeze flowing around, bobbing, so you get motion sick. And then you get to land and you walk around like an asshole for two days because, oh, I've been bobbing around like this for fucking ever and you look stupid. You don't need a boat. Fucking Jack Sparrow over here walking around dirt.

You ever see sailors get off their goddamn boats? They're like, they're not drunk. They just got up walking like that. I love in your world that boats are for fishing and also getting birds.

You got a bigger boat! You ain't tools on your boat! You go catch your fish, you go get your birds! Yeah, I thought that was really good too. I could see the thought process 'cause you're like, "You're on the boat, you're on the water, what are you gonna eat? Birds?" Oh right, fish exist. Uh, fishing? Alright, Bob. Yours is... Holidays. Don't even get me started... on holidays.

Emphasis on the days part. How many days of my life am I going to have to give up to some new fucking holiday? You know which ones I need? The classics. Birthday, New Year's,

And Memorial Day. All the rest of the holidays are just made up bullshit to sell cards and force us into even more consumerism. Unless it's a day off work, I don't need this in my life. And if it's a day off work, I'm not celebrating somebody else's holiday. I'm celebrating my holiday. It's called I Don't Have to Work This Monday. So it's kind of like Sunday Part Two. But there's no football. What?

Which is okay, because it's still Monday Night Football, because it's Monday, and football's good. But holidays are such a fucking waste of time. Unless it's New Year's Eve, my birthday, or Memorial Day, which we all know and love, it's just a scam. It's just the government trying to control you. It's just the government trying to tell you what's good and what's bad. Today, today...

Bunnies are good. And eggs. And those go together. And that's the government. They're trying to get in your head. Tomorrow, who knows? It's going to be National High Five a Squirrel Day. And then after that, it's National Kiss a Fish Day. How are you going to get to a fish? A fucking boat? Don't get me started on boats! What, are you going to out swim a fish? No! No, you're not! I think we covered that.

I lost it. Anyway, fuck holidays. That's okay. You admitted and you lost it. You squozed the callback in there and I think that's good. And officially that puts you in the running for most callbacks. All right, Wade. Yeah.

pets honestly don't get me started on pets pets are a bigger responsibility than anyone would have you know pets they're cute they're cuddly they're fun sure but nobody wants to talk about what pets actually need money for vet bills leaky anal glands so you gotta take them to the vet once every month or two and have someone stick their fingers up their ass to release their anal glands because apparently that's a fucking thing they don't teach them whenever oh i'm gonna give you the

No you fucking don't! You gonna gel up your fingers and shove them up Fido's ass? Well someone has to because anal glands get clogged. It's disgusting. Oh and then they get older. We outlive our pets. That's really sad. It sucks losing pets. Been there, done that. They don't train you for that shit either. But when they get old it's not all cute, cuddly, fun games. No. I'm learning that cats stop using the litter box and they shit on the floor. And they drag their ass. They go outside, they eat grass, they come inside and guess what? Oh grass, that doesn't feel so good.

Oh, I vomited. That makes me need to shit too for some reason. Let me just leave all of that right by the couch where you sit so your feet can either be in the nice nasty icky or on the lovely cleaning solution you put down. Just got a new rug. Oh boy, not marked yet. I better go mark that. Hike, piss, bleh, pfft.

All over the goddamn place! Oh, I don't want to eat the food you got today, father! Oh, this canned food? It isn't what I happen to want! I don't want THOSE treats today! I want what you want! Oh, that steak that you've been cooking looks great! You had to look away to crack open a drink? OH, FUCKING MIND! GET YOUR OWN FOOD NOW, DAD! Oh, okay, guess I'll just fucking starve! What good do you give me? Some cuddles? Some cute moments? But ALL of the shit!

Don't get me started. God, you really went there, man. I hope your pets don't listen to this podcast. Yeah, man. I'm going to make them. This is what you play for them when you leave the house. Put them in their cage and play this episode on full volume. Oh, yeah. Take out the blankets. Just cold hard crate with a TV monitor and this. That's pretty good. That's pretty good, man. All right, Bob, you're up next. What are your thoughts on donkeys?

Not pet donkeys, just donkeys. All donkeys. All donkeys. Don't.

get me started on donkeys fucking Eddie Murphy can kiss my ass donkeys like to pretend like it's all fun and games they hang out with the horses in the field they eat some grass they like to pretend like they're chill they're just a bunch of assholes all they want to do is whatever you don't want them to do

Have sex with the dragon? Don't think I will today. Oops! Donkey-dragon hybrid babies. Pull the wagon to market? Nah, why don't you use the horse for that? Actually, I killed the horse. Yeah, donkeys can do that too. Donkeys are worse than pets, 'cause they will shit in your house, and they will throw up grass for no reason. But they do all kinds of other shit too.

Did you know that donkeys wear pants? Yeah, they wear lots of pants. And then they shit in those pants, and then you have to wash those pants, or it's animal cruelty. Yeah, I thought so. Ha ha ha ha ha!

These are facts about donkeys. Don't even keep me going. Did you know that donkeys like to pretend to be friends with ducks and let you take cute family pictures like they're all a bunch of orphans who are all gonna live together and be... And then they just stamp them to death just for fun? Just to see your face when you come back out to the field? And you're like, oh, we'll go visit the lovely family of donkeys and ducks that's living in my... No. No.

They're murderers. Donkeys are murderers. Cold-blooded murderers. They are actually sociopaths. They do not give a shit. It's all an act. It's all a hee-haw, hee-haw. It's a ruse. They think I don't know what they're up to, but I figured their shit out. I can see through the shtick, and the next time I'm in the same room as a donkey, I'm not going to fall for it.

God damn, I didn't think you were gonna go all that way. I don't actually know very much about donkeys. Was that accurate? I believe it now, you know? Do you make yourself lightheaded doing these spiels? Because I made myself lightheaded on the last one. I make my heart race. I think I'm like forcing myself to have a little bit of adrenaline or something because I'm trying to get like amped up. I feel like our careers are bad for our health. I hope refrigerators comes up. Just

Just imagine. All right. Okay. That was the one-worded topics. I wanted to spell it over into some things that are... Two-sentence don't-make-me's?

Don't even get me started about the scary tape. I think that there's room to expand just a little bit into something that might actually kind of be controversial. I was like, here's random, and then I had this plan for like, here's maybe something that is worth debate. Feed me, daddy. That is really crank his volume so people can hear. All right, so Wade's dead now. Does that mean I win?

Unless we want to give like posh, we should define that next time what happens when a host or participant dies in the episode. We don't have a contingency for that. We should have a last will and testament. Can you imagine if we actually just kept rolling? One of us actually just died. We're like, the show must go on. If we agree that we have to, if we agree that we need to keep this as in the episode, one of us dying. Should one of us call 911 or tell their significant? No, well, let's finish the episode first. Well, maybe.

Well, man, suck if they lose. Like, you spin the wheel and it just really falls out of their favor. Hey, they got the point for didn't participate the most. Okay, Wade, here's a topic. I'm not sure which side to take you on, but let's say...

Kids having cell phones. Don't get me started on kids with cell phones. When we were growing up, we were lucky to have a walkie-talkie. My grandparents gave me a walkie-talkie, and if I got out of range of the walkie-talkie, grounded in trouble not going out again.

Kids with cell phones, they don't have to worry about dial-up internet like we did. They can just access whatever, whenever. They're in class, cell phone goes off, uh, hold on teacher, gotta take this call. That's why they're dumb as shit and not learning anything, because they're fucking sitting there googling dumb shit, responding to their friends, texting their friends, looking at

Porn, making bombs, whatever teenagers do these days, that's not fucking sitting there and learning. We talk about the education system, family. Oh, it must be the teachers. Oh, it must be this. No, it's the goddamn stupid-ass kids and their worst fucking parents giving them all this technology way too early, and they don't know how to handle it because they're given it at an early age. They think, oh, I can just go off and multitask whenever. No.

Your brain's not that good. Our brains aren't that good. Humans' brains aren't that good. We're all stupider for having phones in front of us at all times. Kids with cell phones, worst idea. Nothing good is coming of that. They may once in a blue moon have an important text or call that comes that doesn't have to go through the principal's office. We had a protocol for that. If something important happened, principal comes in and your phone goes off. Come in, we need to tell you something. Now it's, hey, grandma died. By the way, just thought you should know. Love you. Oh, don't forget to do your homework. Bye. And it's like, fucking why is that on your phone?

PHONE! Don't even get me started on this! I looked at my cell phone every time you said the word phone during that. SEE?! I'm gonna take that phone and beat little Timmy's fucking head in with it! Be like, "You gonna pay attention now? You gonna pay attention now?!" No, he probably is not. This is good therapy. We should do this more often.

I really wait. That's a lot of pinned up issues. And yeah, I'm sorry to get the real ones there. All right. Okay. Oh, good. Okay. That's good reaction. Bob, uh, funerals. Oh, yeah. Oh, let me just stretch the anger out a little bit. Don't even get me started on funerals. Did I not give you enough while you were alive? Yeah.

Did you not take enough of my precious time while you could reciprocate anything? Let's not even get into whether you did or did not ever say thank you for the countless hours of my life I gave to you, Grandma, coming to visit.

spending the holidays with you, eating the food you made for me to make me eat. It's awful. Don't get me started on funerals. Like, those people need any more attention. Only the most narcissistic, selfish, unbelievably self-centered people would possibly think that what they need after they have left their family mourning and

Just torn apart is a party for them. That's who's important at that moment in time. That's what everyone wants. And open casket funerals? Please.

"Oh, yeah. I'm gonna die, and then I want you to dress me up real nice, and I want you to do my makeup, and I want you to pretend--stuff my cheeks with cotton balls, pretend like they're not all sunken in, and then come look at me, and talk to me like I'm there! Yeah! That's fair! That's fair to everyone! I need that! In the afterlife, I'll really enjoy--I'll drink it up like a delicious salve on my soul! That's fair! That's good!" Miss you, Grandma.

Oh, man. Having been to like 100 funerals, you know what, Bob? That was spot on. That was spot on. I think he's got it. Selfish bastards. Unbelievable behavior going on over here. I'm going to get some more. Oh, don't even get me started on what else you've got in there. Don't even get me started on getting started. No, no. We're not going to get meta here. Are you just like cycling through right now to pick ones that you want us to do? Yeah.

Yeah, well, I'm hitting random, you know? Well, some of them, I don't know. Do you want to... Wait, do you want coffee? Because that's what's up. I will do... You give me the topic, man. I'll make it work. All right, well, coffee is what's on the... Motherhood just came up again, so unless you want to... Man, this thing is really trying to get in there. Ah, mother coffee. Don't get me started on coffee.

I'm not a coffee drinker. People will say they wake up to like, oh, the smell of a fresh cup of coffee. People have their nasty yellowed coffee teeth. They have their nasty coffee breath. One cup of coffee when I wake up gives me some energy to start my day. A month later, two cups of coffee gives me the energy to start my day. A couple months later,

Oh, man, I've not had coffee in like two hours. I'm starting to really wear down. I've only had two pots of fucking coffee today. Oh, I only need 18 forests of coffee to get through my week. You weak fucking little bitches. I don't have any coffee. I don't have any goddamn energy drinks. I'm a fucking person who just learns to deal with it. Jesus, fuck. Oh, I

I need my coffee. No, you don't. You've made yourself need your coffee. You got yourself on this goddamn addiction to coffee. What good has it done other than make you spend more money to get more coffee that doesn't quite get you that same high the first cup ever did. It's like your goddamn serial killer. You got your first kill. Oh,

Oh man, I gotta do another one, see if it gets me that same high! No, the coffee will never recapture that first moment of coffee glass you had. It will never be as good. And you smell bad. It smells bad. It tastes bad. It takes up space so it could have other good things in the store. Oh, you know, you work at a place that serves coffee, you know what you do? Every 10 minutes you change the fucking coffee. You throw away the nasty wrapper of coffee grounds. You start another brew of coffee. People come in. I'll have my 50 cent cup of coffee.

Actually, it's a dollar today, sir. The price went up! Yeah, that's what fucking happens in the world! Prices go up! And I'm sorry you're grumpy you didn't have your cigarette and your coffee. Oh my God, it's not my problem! Get over it! Don't even get me started on coffee.

Okay. And you smell bad. You smell bad, too. Damn, man. All right, well done. All right, Bob, this would be the last one. Would be. Because by the turn and the orders that we have been in, this would be it. What are your thoughts on mining? Yep.

Analyzing. It's irrelevant to our everyday life. It's a random topic. Don't even get me started on mining. You know who mines? Miners. You know what miners talk like? Oh, cinnamon and gravy! Oh, lemon and...

Gus Jiggins? Could you live with that? I grew up in a town of minors. Every fucking adult talked like that. Could you imagine that life? You know how hard it was for me to learn how to talk normally like a human person like this? Don't even get me started. And the clothes. It's the 21st century and minors still dress like it's 1863 and no one has invented...

clothing in the last... Look, it's not even about that. I just wish my dad had been around.

Yes, he needed to provide for his family. Yes, mining is a job. No earning money at the company store is not the same as living the American dream. It was a hellhole and we were all trapped together. The mine was supposed to be your way out, but it turns out work will not set you free. Work will just keep you in the mine while your son's at basketball practice wondering if his dad's gonna see him make a free throw this weekend.

*laughs*

And he happened to drop me off in the beautiful land of opportunity that is Cincinnati, Ohio. I made me who I is. And now... I almost slipped back into minor speak. Don't you let me do it. If I talk like that ever again, I want you to slap me in the face...

and drive a pickaxe through my heart because i don't want any part of me to remember what mining is or what mining does to people or ever of how many brothers i said i have six i think it was why are we digging holes in the ground in 2017 what's the point i'd be more worried about ladders if i were you thank you i want to hear more about that story that's just i'm captivated by that

That life. My dad didn't even dig in the mines. He was the canary. This episode of Distractible is brought to you by McDonald's all new McCrispy strips. New McCrispy strips are here. It's chicken made for dipping. Tender, juicy white meat chicken with a golden brown peppery breading. It's chicken so good it deserves its own sauce. The creamy chili McCrispy strip dip.

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Alright, let's close it there. That was well done, boys. Never would have caught him if you were on a boat. Don't even get me started on boats! Alright, so that was good, guys. Man, you guys really went to. Sorry about your blood pressure. And sorry we had to relive all this. It certainly went up. So we're going to call it there. Thank you once again to Flashing Lights. My forehead's supposed to throb like that?

You get that, like, the... A little bit, yeah. That's probably fine. So, I rated this in a way that I had predetermined. I gave three levels to each of these rants. And if you got to the extreme of emotion, rage, or whatever, it would be, like, progress through the levels. And so, like, I ranked it sometimes like that. But I also gave extra bonus points for memorable moments in them. Um...

So there were and there were many and you smell bad Gus chickens man and tying it back to funerals Bob your storytelling I listen man. I love you It was it was really good. I always love when Bob tells a story whether it's real or not. I'm invested boilers They're all fake so in terms of the actual

Competition, and we'll start with Bob. For lighters, I chalked it up, you got to about level two of anger. So that's two points for that. Then some people are born this way really made me laugh. So that was good.

For Holiday, you only got to level 1 of Anger, but... And Memorial Day really made me laugh, so I give you another one for In Memorial Day. Donkeys, you really went deep on Donkeys. I didn't expect that to happen, but yeah, you went all the way on Donkeys to level 3. You went all the way on Donkeys. You went all the way on Donkeys.

Oh, funerals. Yeah, funerals. God, that was fucking hilarious. You went to level two on anger, but didn't I give you enough when you were alive? You started off so strong that I couldn't not give you points for that. And then mining. That was very funny. Just so I was captivated by the story. Not as angry, but hey. Chiggins. C-H-I-G-G-I-N-S. Chiggins. All right.

Wade you went pretty hard on You didn't go very hard on motherhood and I only gave you one point because I feel like you went pretty soft on that You could that's okay the pitchforks are at bay today, and I think I said what needed to be said on that Boats you went all the way and pretty much that's the story for all of your rants You went all the way on all of them boats you went to level three rage pets you went to level three rage my god and

Uh, kids with cell phones. Actually, I only counted that as level two rage. It got pretty close, but it was there. Coffee, easily level three rage.

Don't know how you did it, but you did it. So that's that many points for that round. Wade, you also got- No memorable moments. I'll do better next time. Your rants were just like pure and simple rage all the way through. But you gotta admit, Bob had some memorable quotes. Oh, his- I will never compete with Bob when it comes to telling a story, and I accept that. All right, Wade, you got points for scheduled flirts. You got points for get a hair it gross.

Get a haircut? Get a haircut. Oh, get a haircut. Gross. Yeah, okay. Get a haircut. Blueprints. You were correct about gorillas, and you suggested the 12V1 was the 50-50, which I agreed with. Bob, you got the right meds, not standard size, non-standard size, and you were also correct about gorillas. All right. So this makes it a very close game.

I won't tell you how close, but it's extremely close. It's that kind of close where you look and you're like, that's too close. It's the close where it's concerning to me. Oh, we know what happens if you get the wheel again. Please be a one and not the listeners. I don't know if you want to ask the wheel for things, Mark. I think you should just pray that the wheel gives you good things. Okay. This is okay. All right. Okay. Three, three bonus, three bonus. All right. What are you adding to the wheel? Uh,

- Oh, what should I add to the wheel? Do we already have "Got the Angriest?" - I actually don't think "Most Angry" is on here. - Put "Most Angry." I think that's fitting with this theme. - We gotta add "Best Told Story" at some point too, which would definitely have favored Bob. - And we currently have, just to update, 35 things on the wheel of many things. - Nice. - Can't be listeners or viewers again, right? - There we go. Point for viewers.

No! Fucking how did you do that? I actually don't have control over it. It was... I swear, I promise. I'll like put my hands up next time or something. I swear to God. Fucking hell. You said it. Wow.

This is a fucking simulation. This is a simulation. I'm calling it right now. Oh, should we spin it again, Mark? I think we must, don't we? I'm just making sure. I'm not doing anything unless I can push buttons with my dick loudest. Wade, I think you got. I think it's Wade. Loudest. All right. I'm a loud, obnoxious person typically. All right.

Tallest. Wait, did Wade sing in this one? Was that this one? Wade was singing at the beginning, and I remember saying specifically, Bob, while you were saying fuck, I was like, you should sing that. Yeah, and I didn't. But you didn't. That point.

goes to Wade! Can I give a point to Wade, Shabob? Can I, uh... Nope, you can't. Look, I've been having my bias not picking you as a winner, so here's everything's good. We're balancing out the world. I don't know that you did. I think the wheel chose me. Look, you got a coin if you could say otherwise, but, you know, if you... No, it's a coaster right now. I'm too busy. The point stand is thus. Bob, you had 17 points.

A startlingly memorable storytelling, but Wade, with his constant commitment to the rage, eked it out with 19 points.

So with 19 to 17, Wade, congratulations, you're the winner. You also got those two bonus points. Thank you. This was fun. I was a little concerned when we first started. I was like, how am I going to drum up feelings for certain topics? I don't know. And when it started with motherhood, I'm not going to lie. I was really a bit concerned, but this ended up being really fun. It was a creative way to kind of yes and the bit of just like, all right, well, I'll find a reason to be pissed off about these things. And I love boats. Everyone knows I love boats.

But it was a fun challenge to be angry about boats and to find reasons to not be able to live on my boat and fish and catch birds. And I'll have to think about that next time I look at a boat. Also, Bob, you're storytelling, man. Chef's kiss. Well, I don't have the rage, so I have to have something. Yeah, Bob, your storytelling didn't win you this one, so you're a loser speech.

You know what? As a canary from West Virginia, I feel like even if I couldn't win this episode, I'm a winner in life for escaping that shithole. Sorry, West Virginia. That felt immediately too mean after I said it out loud. I know people give you a lot of shit. But it was, it's a nondescript mining town somewhere, not in any specific city or state location. So as to not pit, I don't have anything against you guys. Don't worry, West Virginia. We're cool.

No, this was fun. I struggled to get rage going out of nowhere, but it was really fun to try and make it happen with such random topics. It's a really good exercise. It's like a good improv game. It's very fun. I gotta say, we took shots at Kentucky. I did. And West Virginia, you did today. Any states that you want to target? Oh, Kentucky can suck my ass, but West Virginia, we're okay. We're okay. I didn't mean it that way.

Mark, any states you want to take shots at before we wrap up? No, I'm good, man. I'm equal opportunity hating. Next time we play this, maybe I'll hate amongst the best of them. There's also two other games that are associated with this post. There's one called Think About It. I want to play both of those. Yeah, you guys can take this for future episodes. Think About It, which is you're given a random topic. Your job is to build it into a conspiracy theory. So give it a topic. Think about it, man. And then there's

World's greatest expert, which is similar, but so look forward to maybe that in the future. Thank you for the suggestion. We don't often take them and hey, you know, we rolled the dice and it was pretty good this time. Maybe. Unless everyone hated it. Which, you know, we won't know until later. Don't even get them started on this episode. Well, thank you everybody so much for watching and or listening, especially you listeners out there. Mwah! Wait, I shouldn't have done that for the viewer. Mwah! Mwah!

That's just for you listeners out there. Anyway, follow the podcast for more beautiful listening. Oh, wait, no, sorry, listeners, you didn't get the point. Sorry, I did the wrong one. Listeners, get it fucking together. Don't even get me started on you fucking earbags. Why don't you just... Anyway, so congratulations to the viewers who actually got the point this week. You're the best and...

But with no sound. I did a visual. Ah, clever. I was kind of hoping it was for the listeners because then we could have done the, what's that guy in the Watergate where they blurred out Deep Throat? Is that his nickname? They could have given Mark Deep Throat. Next time, podcast out.