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This episode is brought to you by The Home Depot. Couch Co-op is coming back. I feel it in my bones. There's a new game that I just played recently where you use your phone as a controller. And I think building the perfect room for couch co-op is in my future. You need to go to The Home Depot and to their tools section, their power tools, of which they have many. Just buy all the power tools in that aisle and go home.
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Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractibles.
This episode. Wooden Wade admits to weeping, claims penury, then asks questionable quandaries. Maiden Fair Mark frightens Yogi with Dee's nuts, has issues with halting James McCarthy, and avoids a nutectomy. Ball-bashed Bob gets soaring, haunts dongs, performs covert nudity, and wants to taste beaver.
From a frozen open to Mr. Silver, it's time for IDK Some Q's. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
I no see countdown or I miss countdown. I saw countdown. Countdown was right there. Well, you just missed five whole seconds of countdown. Yeah, man. I'm really on it today. Over the top rage. Keep this in. This is the cold open editors. This is the start of the episode.
Don't let him off the hook. This might be part of it, too. Welcome back to Distractible. Editors, you heard him. Keep it in, whatever it was. It's so funny. Everyone will get it. I'm the host of today's episode. I'm Wade, joined by Mark and Bob. That's me staring at you to give you an opening to say things. Oh, hi. Oh, sorry. Okay. Oh, okay.
Hello. And they are gonna be competing for points in today's episode. If you've never tuned in, this is pretty standard for the kind of shit you're gonna see and hear. Very- sorry, my nose itches professionally. Uh, as it should. Us being ourselves, probably not following the script of whatever events we've got planned. I've got planned as being the host, but, um, it is what it is. You're here, you're bored, you're
Hopefully life gets better for you, and hopefully we contribute to that, so you're welcome in advance. We usually start by telling each other about how things are going, small talky type stuff, so we'll do that again today. How are things going? Mark, you first, with words. Bear! Cow! You heard it here first. Ha ha ha ha ha!
What are we doing, animals? I don't know. There was a bear. Not here. Here. How close? How here? Like visiting? Staying with you? There was a bear. I legitimately... So I was already in bed and Amy goes like, Mark! And I run because it sounded urgent and I get over there and there's a fucking bear. Just like out in the yard? Outside. Right there. Oh man, that's fun. There's a glass door and...
And so it's a fucking bear. It's not huge, right? But it's big. It's about like... It wasn't like a cub. It was like a grown bear. It seemed like an adolescent bear. A white socks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was a bear. So it was like about... So you remember Lucy? The bear? Yeah.
Lucy, my mom's. Yeah, Lucy the bear. Oh, the dog. Yeah. Okay. So about that size. So great Pyrenees size. Definitely bigger than Chica. And apparently, and I checked the security cameras, Chica had been sleeping in her bed, which is right by the glass door there. And the bear had come up and just was like at the window staring at her. And then you see her head go. And they just stare for a while. And
And the bear like paws the glass like right on the glass. So Chica gets up, wags. Then Henry comes over, looks over at the bear. And they're both just like nose to nose on the glass. No barking, no nothing. And then Amy sees, obviously, and is like, a bear! And I run in and I'm like, hey, get out of here, bear. Get out of here. Just like that. Hey, you better leave.
You are trespassing. I will call the police. Well, actually, so the bear went...
around and then we heard rustling in our trash cans and I go like oh no so I get a stick and I go outside and I just start whacking the stick on the ground trying to make noise and that scared it off for a second I went back in it came back to the trash cans and then I just went out there and I started like chucking a cardboard box at it and that scared it and then it just went off it was a bear I've never seen a bear in person outside of like a zoo or anything like that it was a bear
You just had to find a way to face down the bear face to face in person, huh? My options: stick, cardboard box. That'll do it. Yeah, why not? What, I'm not gonna get my boar spear and go kill the bear. I don't need to kill it. I just need to keep it for- 'Cause it gets through the trash, it's gonna make an ungodly mess. It's gonna go all over the place and I'll have to clean it up and I don't want to do that. You should've grabbed the trash can lid to use as a shield and then charged it.
Alright, that's an option. I had a stick and a cardboard box, so that's what I chose. Right. Threw the box in this here. This bear was like, it obviously wasn't desperate and ready to kill. Most bears aren't, especially if they're in a populated area. But I've never seen a bear around here. That's crazy. I don't think there have really been bears around here. So, yeah, bear. Also, I'm not...
I'm not entirely surprised, but I'm like at the tiniest bit surprised that you don't just happen to own that bear defense outfit that we've talked about multiple times that that dude spent his whole life inventing and refining so that you could, you could withstand an attack from a grizzly bear. Uh,
Like I know, I know that you don't own that, but also if one day you were just like, Oh, my bear, my bear outfit showed up. I ordered one and the, it just, they just got dropped off on a pallet. I would just kind of be like, yeah, he has like an Iron Man assembly where like the floor lifts up and Amy comes over and puts like a ball on his hand.
Jarvis! I appreciate that. I appreciate that. But this was, it was obviously, I think it was a black bear, just real small. There's no grizzly bears in these parts, I don't think. Maybe, I don't know. No, those are in Memphis. If it would, it'd be surprising, but yeah. So yeah, bear. That was crazy.
It's pretty cool. It was cool. It was very cool. Except for going outside at any point. I would have been there in that situation. I've been like, wow, that's cool. Wow. Look at that. Wow. It was. Yeah. Amy and I afterwards were just like, that was really cool. It was a bear. And then the pups weren't scared that much because I think through the window, it just looks like a big dog. But as soon as they got outside and the bear was gone, this is the next day. We didn't let him out at the same time. In case that was like the kid bear and the mama bear was nearby. On the roof, like waiting with like a bucket.
Mama on top of the bucket like, yeah, come out here. There's actually a bear SWAT team tucked just around the corners out of sight. Like, this always works. The humans will come out any second now. But as soon as they went out and they started sniffing around, Chica doesn't care. She's so brave, honestly. Chica's only been scared of one person in her life ever. But this occasion, Henry was, as soon as he started sniffing, he's like, oh no.
no oh no and he wouldn't go past the porch he was just like there's a bear around that's good instincts he's good instincts yeah that's a big muscular pee i want to avoid that one i think bears hike their legs when they pee
I mean, maybe. What, you mean like dogs? Yeah. Like they squat. I mean, probably. I think they stand up on their back legs, put their paws like this, and just start pissing straight up. I thought they used trees. It's like to imagine a bear, they're hungover, they go up to a tree and they're just like, oh god. They actually came to Mark's door because they were out of toilet paper. They wanted some Charmin.
oh you guys had the shaman bears in your yard i see i see i wish we just had cocaine bear so sad we know smokey's not in california is that bad joke to make that's probably a bad joke to make what was the joke because there's fires in california is that he's the only you could prevent forest fires and you all had fires recently and you know
I'll take away. Yeah. Take, take a point away. I don't make up for it. You know what you did? I see my pen. Oh, someone not prepared. Someone not doing their hostly duties. Right here. Well, I, uh,
Look, is it too early for me to already say that I'm just a fake woodworker? I had this conversation about being a car guy where I was like, oh, I got my cool car. And then I felt fake about it. It's been busy. It's been busy. We had guests over the weekend and lots of other excuses. I haven't actually done any like work in the garage, like woodwork stuff in like a couple weeks at this point. But because I've been so diligent and working so hard, I
uh i bought another saw off fake poison marketplace so you know nice are you saws like mark's lensing i say you're even more of a woodworker i mean these are these are i bought the other kind of saw that you need so the first one i got was a miter saw which is the one where you pull it down and this one is a table saw it's small and i'm gonna so i can hang it up on the wall of the garage out of the way it's like a
job site table saw. But if this is what you need to like rip long things into long sticks of whatever width you so choose, right? It's a different type of saw. So you kind of need a table saw for a lot of stuff you're going to want to do. Also, you could do cross cuts on it and it came with a miter gauge so I could do other kinds of mitered cuts and I'm a real woodworker. I just don't ever touch wood or screw anything together or
Or do anything like that. But I'm a real woodworker boy. That's my idea. It's real. I want you to know your point for this is I got a 2x4 and the only prescription is more Sawbell. Oh, because of the... Don't know why, but it's what I thought of. That's why I wrote it down. Yeah. I'm really funny.
Sometimes. Watching you guys look more depressed after each joke is kind of not what I'm going for today. I was trying to come with you. I just didn't. That was a big... There's a big step in there. No, immediately both of you looked like the happiness in your life had been drained and all good memories were gone. I was just trying so hard to come along on your journey, but that's...
I failed. It's a good thing I'm a host today, not a competitor, because I would... I look disappointed because I failed myself, not because of what you did. You both look like I'd slapped you in the face and killed your families rather than told a joke, and that kind of says it all. I don't think that's how I would look if you did that. I think I would look different than that. Some days the comedic genius just doesn't awaken, and today apparently is one of that days for me. It's fine. It happens.
So you're woodworking, you don't do anything with the wood except for saw it. I don't even saw it, but I have saws for it. So that's pretty legit if I do say so myself. So you have wood, you have saws. Yeah. You never combine the two. I did a little and then I was like, ah, I don't think that's right. And so I'm not going to do that anymore.
But if I ever need to saw wood, if that comes up, maybe in a different context. You got two saws. Yeah, two saws. I mean, technically, four saws, depending on how you count them and how crazy you want to get. Four saws, Johnny? Two big, two man saws, and then two sort of boy saws, you know? How many packs of saws a day? You becoming a chainsaw-er? Is that funny?
That was good. I liked that one. Yeah, that was good. When I don't have a chainsaw, though...
ow did you fucking hear that yeah somehow i just had a fidget spinner in my hand that was perfectly silent and it hit the mic stand and then bounced into my crotch and then hit the leg of my desk really loudly we heard all the bounces so now i'm sad and my nuts hurt a little i don't know where the fuck it went it's like gone forever well whatever anyway i'm gonna finish james's table someday
it's a six month project really and i'm only two months in so okay yeah i got a lot of time he'll be like in college his third year of college like james i've been working on this your whole life it's finally ready it's like a fisher price size like table i'm gonna have to cut some parts out if i want to get it done by then but i think i can make it happen cool chainsaws and bears no i don't have a chainsaw i'm gonna keep bringing that up sorry
Uh, good talk. I've got nothing else new. I think I shared all of my new stuff. That's life, I guess. Nothing happens. That's life. Are you okay, Wade? This seems... I don't know. I don't think so. So, look. I'm still wearing the same shirt, so you guys can tell...
Either I've been having a hard time or this is recorded the same day as the last episode. I thought the last episode went fine. You won. I figured that was happy. I'm just I'm still not mentally recovered from winning.
No, a couple things that happened yesterday. One was not great. Two was watching The Last of Us. I get emotional, man. I'm an emotional person when I watch shows and movies sometimes. I'm the guy who'll sit there like tears streaming down my face. Then I'll go watch like 10 other people react to something so I can cry along with them too. I'm not okay. I'm sorry. I'm not okay. I'm sorry.
Thank you. Should I send you some flowers or something? No. I want flowers. Chocolate? Are you milk chocolate or dark chocolate? Mark, I need you to buy the rights to The Last of Us so we can make it again. Why do I gotta do this? You buy the rights to The Last of Us. Yeah, Mark. Because I'm a broke-ass bitch. You're not at all! Just because you refuse to buy a car, that actually means you have more money sitting around.
How much money to buy the Last of Us IP? I don't think that's gonna really come up on Google. It didn't. It's at least $10, according to my search. Alright, well, you can afford it. That's almost definitely true. That's more than I'm willing to spend! Who made this? Is it Naughty Dog? Who made Last of Us? Who's the publisher? They made the game. I don't think they made the television show. Uh.
Naughty Dog, blah blah blah, worth a dollar. At least a dollar. I need between one and ten dollars at least to buy this. I just am not willing to spend that.
This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you just when you need it most? That's what Uber is all about. Like when Wade's house was flooding and falling to pieces all around him, and you showed up just when he needed you to so you could film it and exploit it for views on the internet? No. Whatever it is, big or small, Uber is on the way. So you can be on yours. Uber, on our way to your house, Wade.
All right, anyway, today's topic. I wrote down the title for this episode as IDK some Q's. Okay. Q's as in? Questions. Questions, I assume? Yeah, it's just called I don't know some questions. I've got some A's, maybe some B's. C is the next letter. I got some D's nuts. Got them. Air horns, put air horns in. It's a lot of imagination on our end for that, but I can hear it.
The editors do that thing where you have my hand detached and I have to... You do it in reverse so that it lands right here every time. That TikTok filter. It's really easy to do, actually, once you know how it's done. Yeah. Even I can figure out how you do that. And that's really bad because I don't know anything about anything when it comes to editing.
After my Smokey and Sawbell thing, I should have had the editors just disappear me from the whole episode. You guys could have two-manned it the rest of the way, but it's too late. I'm still in it, so. Can't leave now. That's fair. All right. First question I've got. I guess flip a coin and see who goes first. Mark, you're on my left, so you'll be heads. Bob, you're on my right, so tails. I'm standing now, so there's going to be a lot more movement on my end.
heads mark you go first yes yeah bob i've been standing since the last time we talked about standing and we all communally did that so i really should do that it's really good it's so good it's great i sit a lot you have a standing desk you could you could you won't dumb
Don't. Minus a point for both of you for suggesting such a horrible thing to me. No, Bald, you won't. I just said don't. Too late. You said you could. I said you could, but don't. First question. Mark, you're up first. What is the worst job to bring your kid to work to? Oh, this is too sad. This horror story all over again. I'll lead you in. It was bring my kid to work day. Unfortunately, I work at the...
No kids allowed store. The scary factory? I don't know why this is such a brain block. Whenever I try to put this format in my head, it doesn't work good for me. But hold on. I got this. Just let me think. Bob, I guess you have plenty of time to think of your answer. I had my answer immediately, so I'm ready and locked and loaded. I'm just enjoying this. Woo, you are woo.
You need a prompt mark to come up with longer form answers so he doesn't feel so punished. I got it. That's a bad idea. That's the point. It's a bad idea. But it's not clever. It's too obvious. It's too obvious. I need to be more cerebral. Don't worry. I've got the obvious one. All right, good. A lot of answers. Yeah, but there's a guy I'm trying to get the points here.
I'm just not joking Poop Shoveler McDonald's Oh no those aren't correct Book in the Library YouTube.com slash Markiplier The The
I should have started a timer. I'm curious how long this is going on now. Well, that's all the time we have for today's episode. Thank you all for tuning in. I hope this is just uncut watching you struggle for three minutes. I got it. Whatever factory the Poppy Playtimes universe is set in, I'm pretty sure right kid to there. It's dead.
And you. All dead. That would be a terrible... Well, I was assuming you work there, right? Because you're bringing a kid to your work. So, you know, you work at Poppy's playtime and you're like, come on, little Johnny. Time to go. That's how he ends up only having two toes or whatever it was. Two foot Johnny. It wasn't two toes Johnny? Four toes? Two toes Johnny. Two toes Johnny. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to give you a point for quick answer.
Thanks. Thank you. Bob, what's the worst place to bring your kid to work to? Definitely the worst place to bring your kid to work to would be to your job at the filicide factory.
I was expecting one of you to say, like, strip club or... Well, I thought of that. I saw a strip club. The Philicide Factory. Do you know what Philicide is, or are you just laughing? No, I do. The kid-killing... Your kid-killing factory, right? Yes. A family killing. Familiicide? Philicide? Philicide. It would be when a parent kills their own child. It'd be bad. It'd be a bad place for your kids' workday. That'd be the worst place. Yeah, that's pretty bad.
For the kid, I guess. Mark's answer was so long that in my own head I was like, that's a great answer. Ooh, I don't know. Oh, it stinks. No, commit to it. Oh, it's so good. And by the time I said it out loud, I was back to, oh, that's so stupid. No, no, it's not. I got another one. We went through the five stages of grief. You have another one? Oh, okay. The clown testing factory where they test the clowns.
What goes into clown testing? Are these evil clowns or something? Well, this is why it's the testing factory. You gotta make sure that they're not scary. Do I get a second one? Sure. It'd be really bad to bring your kid to work when you work as a jungle gym equipment safety tester. Hey boys and girls, welcome to jungle gyms! I love the trolley! Well, the first ten kids didn't.
Oh, Cincinnati reference, too. You know, people were a little disappointed that we didn't at all in the Cincinnati Travel Glide episode even mention Jungle Gyms as a thing that existed. That is on us, yeah. It's a bit of an oversight. I guess, so for me, I've always lived here, so it's hard to think about things that are specifically here. Because Jungle Gyms, the thing about Jungle Gyms is it's a global food store. Whenever you think of Cincinnati...
It's weird to think of a place that all they bring is stuff from all over the world rather than something Cincinnati exclusive. I think maybe that's why we didn't think of it. Well, for me, it's like it's just a funky grocery store. It's big. So in my head, I've been to it so many times because my mom loves shopping there that it's just a grocery store. So I don't ever think of it like a place to go. Yeah, we grew up with access to it. It's like the place we can go if we want food directly from the UK or Japan or whatever. Yeah, I didn't grow up with it. I'm just hard.
hard to impress so I didn't make the list damn Bob you're first on this question what would be your final words to your killer is this an honest answer or if I'm answering completely honestly it's probably like whoa stop wait no more than likely I got it I got it I got it 5 4 3 2 1
And then see if he runs away scared or something. Oh, man, it should have been. No, then he'd think Unisonus. Oh, no. Yeah, it'd be like, oh, I love Unisonus. I'm glad you brought it back one more time. He's doing the thing.
Any final words? Yeah, what are your final words? Oh. I didn't think of turning the tables on the killer. Okay. Any other answers to that one before I move on? If I was feeling clever, I might also hit him with the... If I see the attack coming, just be like, wait, I'm already dead! And see if they believe me and maybe just give up and run away. Grab the knife. You can't kill what's already dead.
Okay, you don't even need to do the cutting. If you're stabbed, bleed on the ground, he's got his knife in your heart and you're like, he was already dead. That's a pretty good, that's a pretty good last words. I'm not your penis. Okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. Mark, the place you'd least like to be caught naked. Okay, this is gonna be a weird answer, but I mean,
The shower, because why am I being caught? Why am I being caught in the shower? I think that would be a really unpleasant place. And I am naked. Worst place to be naked, the shower. I mean, it's true. I don't want to be caught. No, to be caught. No, he's right. To be caught naked. That's exactly right. That's the correct answer. I can't even be mad about it.
You agree? I mean, I'll come up with my own answer, but I think Mark is very on point with that one. One of us does. I definitely would not want to be
caught naked in Wade's house. Why? What's wrong with being naked in my house? Well, being covertly naked in your house was really fun, but if I had been caught, there would have been some splinging to do, I assume. I mean, yeah, that's fair. I guess it also depends on where you were, but... Or what my cheeks had been on. I mean, caught naked, I didn't mean like captured, just like people see you naked. Yeah.
Yeah, well, I didn't want you to catch me, so. Well, then, yeah, the shower makes a perfect answer. It perfectly makes sense. But, like, if you're just naked in your bedroom, that's okay? Like, then it's okay to be caught naked? It's less weird for someone to be in your bedroom and you're naked than for someone to be in the bathroom with you while you're showering and you're naked. There's a skylight in my bathroom, and occasionally I do, um, I look up and I'm like, something better not be.
peering over you know looking down at me i do check it elon's like my heart goes on for you
It's a pun. Is it? Anyway, it's fine. Okay, forget being caught. What's the place you'd least like to be naked? Space. Ah, I was going to say the moon. That would be worse because then you get all the moon dust in your crack. Fiberglass factory. Real life laser maze. You really want some kind of skin tight thing to hold all your bits tight so you don't get, you know, lasered. Floppy Joe's. I don't know what that is, but I like the word. Is that a place? I don't know.
I'm taking another point away. That's fair. He's going into the negative today. I'm already negative too. Wade's angling to get the bonus point for lost most points in this episode. I will win today's episode somehow. Bob, I think you're first this time. Which Disney villain has the coolest hair? I mean, it's got to be Hades from Hercules. Oh, damn. That's such a good... It's just actually blue fire. Like, that's sick. Oh.
That was the answer. I can think of a couple other ones. That's a great answer. Great.
I don't know my Disney villains too well, so I can't exactly say. I can't think of any. Cruella had the black and white thing going. That was one of the ones I thought of. He's with the fire. I mean, does it get cooler than the fire? Because he both has hair and also is bald when someone goes, I love bald. Basically pandering with my answer. Yeah, I got nothing. Does the vacuum from Brave Little Toaster count as a villain? Or no, is the vacuum the bad guy? Who's the bad guy? No, vacuum's part of the crew.
The furnace? Is that the furnace the bad guy in that? Yeah, there's some big recycling thing or something like that. There's the big metal thing that sucks up the cars. That's one of the antagonists, I think, right? The magnet. Oh, that was scary when I was a kid. I did not care for that. The whole movie was terrifying. It really was. Every image I see, I looked up Brave Little Toaster, literally every image I see inflicts like...
discomfort and fear in me. Oh, I thought you were going to say, every picture I see there's this goddamn toaster. What the fuck is going on? He looks so brave. He doesn't look brave at all. He's always scared.
Oh, the air conditioner. Oh, God, I hated the air conditioner. Yeah, the air conditioner is pretty scary. I thought of one that Wade might like. Oh, this is not a Disney villain. Never mind, that's just a random villain from a movie I thought of. You can name it anyway. The aliens from Mars Attacks. Oh, God, yeah. What's balder than bald? Brain. Brain.
That's true. Hairless brain. That's the purest bald you can be. Hairless, wrinkly brain. Like a freshly shaven scrotum head. Sorry, I missed what we were talking about. I was looking at the air conditioner dying in Brave Little Toaster and how that... Oh, that was satisfying. No, it's not satisfying. That fucked me up as a kid. I repressed this memory of this air conditioner exploding. Same. I hate that. I hate it.
Yeah, that was a fucked up scene. Mark, is underwear designed more to protect you or your pants? I'm thinking pants. Okay. It must be, right? Because that's... The human body is all kinds of disgusting. So we just try to... We made a diaper that is socially acceptable.
That's underwear. Bob? I mean, it's definitely there to protect you. Obviously, there are zippers. There are seams. Have you ever worn any of the pants that you wear on a regular basis without underwear? Because you will discover that the inside of your pants is not remotely as safe as the inside of your underwear. First, some pretty specific bits, but some pretty important bits, I think. I don't remember which way I was leaning going into this, but I lean both ways now. Good for you, man.
Yeah, that's fair. I don't know. Maybe there's not more than one answer to this one, but I thought of this question and I couldn't unthink it. Why don't square pizzas come in round boxes, but round pizzas come in square boxes? Because square pizza couldn't fit in a round box. I mean, it could. But the square hole, everything goes in the square hole.
I just like that phrase, everything goes in a square hole. It's like a trend on TikTok that's probably still going on. Yeah, it's a meme. I don't know that one. That's right. Goes in the square hole.
And then the one person always duetting it and getting traumatized by it. Yeah. You know what it is? It's because of the shape of the bags, the delivery bags that pizzas are delivered in. If companies would start making round bags for them to put the pizzas in to stay warm, then...
then the box companies would have to make round boxes. But the companies make square bags. So what are you going to do? You can't put a round box in a square bag. That's like putting a round pizza in a square box. But if everything goes in the square hole, why can't the round box go in the square bag? A bag is not a hole. A bag is a container. Don't you dare equate those two things. What if you cut the bottom of the bag out? Then it's just a hole. That's called the tube. We've talked about this. Damn it.
That's just a pre-cannoli. I knew it was going to... Well, if you knew it, why'd you ask in the first place? Because I wanted to get there. The real answer that's very boring is I'm not going to say it. Oh, I'll say it. It wasn't. Lobbyists for Big Square.
That square lobby bullshit is why that's a thing. And that's the only reason. You know, super PACs, well, they made super squares and it's just, you know, it's just a way for them to funnel more money into the square hole. What about super fanny PACs? A square puts hundreds of millions into congressional campaigns around the country. It's unbelievable. Super fanny PACs.
There's a reason Square-on went bankrupt. Square-on... I was gonna say mobile. Is it mobile? Exxon Mobile? That's a company, yes. I hear mobile now, I just think mobile games are like a phone, but it's gas. But it's not on your phone. But it's still mobile. Because it moves. I'll take away another point. Mark, you have to retake your test for your driver's license. Which part will you struggle with? Written and driving, you have to do both.
What would you struggle with if you had to retake your driver's test? I used to be so confident about stop sign, like etiquette. Okay. But I think the rules from Ohio and California are different. What? Like who goes first if you approach it at the same time, depending on the direction. I think it's like direction dependent, right? So my etiquette is right of way means whoever's on the right is
has the right of way, right?
Yeah? But then there's some other rule on the California thing that's just about left turns in there, and I'm like, it's not the left! No one cares about left! Left of way! No! I think I would struggle. Oh, actually, no, I know that rule. All my confidence is gone. The rule is... I know this one! You must always give way to the right unless anyone's turning left because fuck them. That's the rule. Left... If you're turning left...
fuck you you go last it's something about that so i yeah i just because i have no confidence anymore about that one i don't know i don't know what to do about it
We need more roundabouts. I can't deal with stop signs. Oh, roundabouts. I did not like roundabouts when they first started appearing because they were new and different. I don't like new and different. But now that they're old and same, I like them. No, roundabouts still feel dangerous, man. Like most people, especially if they're from the area where the roundabouts are, most people have come to grips with exactly most
mostly what you're supposed to do but if you get some random out-of-towner or some delivery driver who's not like doesn't do this normally or something they always they still feel so fucking dangerous so many times where I've had like a like a spidey sense where I'm like I think this like I'm on the inside someone's on the outside and I'm like I think this person my right might be a fucking idiot and I just like give them space and then they do that thing where you just go straight through the circle and cut into the lane or whatever and I'm like I
I knew it. The thing I've never seen happen, but I feel like has to because of the location of some roundabouts is what happens when a semi or
or an 18-wheeler has to go for a roundabout. Well, they just drive right the fuck over those things. No, they don't care. Yeah, because some of them do not seem like they're well-designed for a semi to go through. I've never seen one go through a normal residential roundabout. There's some locations where they have to go, and they'd have to go through one, but I've never seen one do it. I've seen semis absolutely decimate bushes in the middle of a roundabout because the front, they were going around, and the back was just like...
Yeah, because that just seems like such a... It happens. Overthought or oversight, oversawted, oversighted thing. In Austin, the roads in Texas are crazy as it is, but they do have roundabouts there. And there's this one in Austin where I think I have seen trucks go through there. And they just take up both lanes. That's all there is to it. They're going to take up both lanes. There's nothing else to do. But some roundabouts are just one lane. They just wedge in there. They just go to do what they got to do.
That's terrifying. No, you know what I've seen that is the craziest thing in a roundabout is in my neighborhood where I grew up,
We had one road that was a residential road and it was a 25 mile an hour speed limit, but it was kind of the road that went like straight through the neighborhood from end to end. So it was a good, if you needed to get through around the neighborhood, people would just blast down that thing at like 45 miles an hour. And like my senior year of high school, they narrowed that road a whole bunch and then put a bunch of roundabouts in it. Man,
I saw several instances of someone who was just like, "Oh, I'll take this shortcut," and just straight ahead, like twice the speed limit, and ramped off of the roundabouts, 'cause they weren't like hard curb roundabouts, they were like gentle, and like literally, you know, soccer moms driving big Suburbans or whatever would just like,
Didn't stop. Didn't seem to hurt the car or anything. I'm sure coffee went everywhere or whatever, but that's fun to watch from outside. I'm sure nothing bad's ever happened because of that. Might be fun to be in the back.
If you live. Yeah, as long as everyone's fine, I'm sure it's great. School buses on Roundabout? I don't know. Bob, what would you struggle with if you had to retake your driver's test? I would be fine on the written part, and I would be fine on the driving part, but they would give me so much shit for how bad my vision is. They make you do the peripheral vision tests, and they make you do the reading tests, and they make you do it without your glasses, no matter how much you tell them that you don't do anything without your glasses, because you can't see shit, and
And then they're like, ooh, are you legally blind? Are you allowed to drive? And I'm like, no, I'm not blind. I wear glasses. Look, I'll put my glasses on. It'll be fine. They always give me a hard time about that. And I hate it. I'm really bad at it. I would struggle.
I actually haven't gone to update my driver's license since I got my eyes fixed. So I have on my license still needs corrective lenses, but I don't need them anymore. I wouldn't struggle with that. You're going to get in trouble. They're going to be mad at you. My lenses are corrected. Good thing the police have their, uh, their four optors and stuff with them. So when they pull you over, they'd be like better one, two. It looks like you are seeing 2020. Look into the eye, Eliza.
I'm going to need to give you a field vision test. Look into this and blow. I mean, just look into this. Sorry, that's the other one. Is the hot air balloon getting clearer? Good. Is it getting closer? How about now? How about now?
What's an unconventional animal? This is to you, Bob. An unconventional animal whose milk nobody drinks but you think might be good. Couldn't tell you why. Beaver. Beaver milk? I think it just sounds like a thing that would be good. I don't know much about beavers. They seem cool. They're very cute. Just like if I saw beaver milk on a shelf somewhere, that's one where I'd be like, ah, try it. Okay. Beaver milk. Mark?
I mean, nothing's really jumping to mind of appeal. Not a good start. But, but, but, but, but. I can do this two-sentence horror story structure if you'd like. No, I got an answer!
Okay, you convinced me that noise is you know, it convinces me it's that does it have to be a mammal because no just animal alligator milk that sounds like a colloquial drink That is served somewhere where there's alligators. I'm thinking that might not be terrible. I might not be too bad That's like what they call moonshine in Louisiana Eater milk, okay
I was thinking one of those like antelopes, like in the Lion King that have like the big curvy horn things or whatever. Antelopes.
They're just antelopes. Yeah, that's what I said. I'm just describing one for some reason. That's just, they're too similar to the animals that we already drink milk from. I've never had deer milk. Aren't antelopes... Moon milk. I'm gonna milk the moon. I just think antelopes look chill. They have some chill milk. Who am I? A. James McCarthy? Milk and the moon? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
gotta get your biannual a James McCarthy jabs in you think he thinks about you every time he takes a photo of the moon now he's like I hope Mark appreciates this one maybe who knows one passionate life and you've taken it from him because you said you hate the moon I highly doubt I've stolen it from but there's always hope always hope who went first on that one Bob did you do that thing so Mark you're first on this one what is the most pointless lie you've ever told you lied about it and you're like why did I lie about that
What is the most pointless lie ever? I'll give you a moment. I'll tell you what I did. I remember going to school, and I think Dragon Ball was on the previous day, and I watched a Dragon Ball Z episode. And one of my friends was like, hey, did you see the Dragon Ball Z episode yesterday? And I said, no. But I had...
And then like after I lied, I was like, we could have had like a cool conversation about that. Why did I lie about that? Oh, yeah. I was like, did you not want to talk about that? Or I had no reason. I just like the way they asked it, like they're like, I forget how they they asked it, but they asked it in a way that made it feel like my answer should be no. So I said no. Then I was like, I had no reason to lie about that. I just felt like I should. School and early school days is ripe for that because there's been plenty of times where
You know, I'm a bit of a loner, but also I was like, man, I wish I had friends to hang out with. So before I remember as a kid, people would be like, hey, you want to go do XYZ, go hang out here? And I'd go, no, I'm busy. Even though I would have loved to, like for some reason, just like, no, I wish, but no. And I just wouldn't because I was so awkward.
And like I couldn't wrap my head around social conversations properly that I would just like, I would just say I was busy. I wasn't. Don't know why. Is that the most pointless lie? I probably, I can't think of anything too specific. That's fair. Bob? The most pointless lie I've ever told is that I have a soft rubber ball in my left hand right now. Is it in your right hand? Where's the ball? Where is it?
Where's the ball? Where's the ball? I don't have access to a soft rubber ball. You just set it down on your desk. Where is it? Where is the ball? Where's the ball? If I had a ball, it would be halfway across the room right now because I would have dropped it already. No, you have it. You have the ball. We're the puppies who want you to throw the ball and we know you have it. Where's the ball? I don't have one. I told you it was a lie and it was pointless because balls don't have points.
Also because it didn't have any purpose. Well, I don't like that lie, but it is pointless and it was a lie and it was upsetting. Stupid, right? Terrible lie. Why would I do that? What was the point? All right, Bob, you're writing an autobiography about your life. What's the title? Memoirs of a Snake Wrangler.
Are we the snakes? No, it's not a metaphor. It's just to make it sound more exciting. It's to bring in a different audience. If people who know who I am know that it's my autobiography anyway, the title doesn't really matter to them. But if someone sees that it's an autobiography called Memoirs of a Snake Wrangler, they might, like if they're at the airport or something, they might just be like, well,
You're on a two hour flight. As long as somewhere in there you call it the second most pointless lie you've told. It's not, but that one has a point. To sell books. I gotta make my publishers happy. Yeah, that is true. That's true. That is a point- pointful? Pointful lie. Pointy. Pointy lie. Mark, what's the title of your autobiography? I got a few options. Uh, A Life Full of Promises. Uh, Nuh-uh. Just big nuh-uh. Uh,
Standing tall but falling short. Standing short but falling tall. Either one. I'll take both. Oh, I had another one. I forgot. Standing tall but falling short. Memoirs of someone who absolutely is not a masochist. Alright. I've got multiple questions left, but I feel like we've done a good number of these. Mark, what is the worst thing you could have a buy one, get one free on? That I'm buying? Yeah. A biopsy. That would suck. That would suck. That would suck.
If they were going to do it like right then and there. How many times are you buying bad things? It's okay. You gave me an answer. We can come back if you have to think of another one. Okay.
Bob, what's yours? If it's something I'm buying... You're buying and you're getting one free, but I wish you weren't. It would have to be a kick in the nuts. What are you saying? Why are you buying a kick in the nuts? You didn't say it would have to be a thing that I would buy. That's true. You said it's a thing that I'm buying for some reason. I'm buying a kick in the nuts.
I would not want the free one. I would see if I could just get the one and not get the deal, but you buy one, you get one free. For some reason, what I thought of was a divorce. Does it reverse it? Is it like a double negative? Well, depending on who you are as a person, that might just be a good savings. Like, if you know you're going to do it again, just get one for free and bank that. I guess that's true. I had testicular cancer in one nut, and I paid for it, and they took the other one for free.
So you're saying the nutectomy. Yeah, the nutectomy. Oh, Bob, you got another? A fish sandwich from Long John Silver's. Okay, hold on now. I will not accept Long John Silver's slander here. Yeah, I like their fish and fry. Now, granted, their fries, they change their fries to the... To potatoes? Yeah, I didn't think they were potatoes before you're right. No, the...
Well, you don't get the fries anyway. You get the hush puppies. Hush puppies are good too, but their waffle fries are not as good to me as their original fries. And you get a lot less. They hardly give you any fries now. Their discount, I forget if it was Tuesday or Thursday, but their Baja fish taco deal got me through like...
between that and McDonald's dollar menu got me through college like this. I would rather eat White Castle than Long John Silver's. Oh, come on. And White Castle's fine. Yeah, wait, what's going on? What's happening here? All of these things give me upset stomach, but if I gotta buy one, get one of a Long John Silver's fish sandwich, I'm...
I would be stuck on the toilet all night. It would be miserable. You gotta build up your tolerance. I wouldn't even eat them. I'd buy one, get one, just to throw them both away. You're the only two people I know who like Long John Silver's. I bet there's tons of people who are listening to this right now love Long John Silver's. I don't even have one in my area. I would go a lot more. I mean, they're still open.
Some places. So someone goes there sometimes, but literally every Long John Silver I ever see is empty. The middle of lunch rush, empty one car in the drive through. And it looks like they went there on accident because they didn't know what restaurant it was like it. I've never seen a busy Long John Silvers. There's no such thing.
That makes me sad. I have waited in line in the rain for Long John Silver. There's just no way that was worth it. I liked it. Their batter's good. They're fish. I love Long John Silver's. And in LA, there's only one, and it's down in, where even is that? It's in Gardena. So it's so far away, but it's a Long John Silver slash KFC. And there's another one that's like way, way, way out.
So KFC is just subsidizing Long John Silver's in that situation. I mean, pretty much, but... KFC is basically just buying a bunch of frozen fish and throwing it away because no one else comes in to buy it. I get confused. Fish, chicken, I don't know. Put one in the other, it don't matter. No, Long John Silver's is good! I will say I'm not big on Long John Silver's chicken. I like their fish. I didn't even know they had chicken. Yeah.
You can get a chicken meal or a fish meal. Yeah. I've not had it in a while. Kind of want it. Now I'm going to have that for dinner. Enjoy your toilet time.
Oh, man. Even Moist Critical made a video being like, who actually eats Long John Silvers? I do. I'm not being facetious. In terms of people I know in real life, like friends, family, anyone I actually know, literally you two guys are the only two people I know who don't actively dislike Long John Silvers. I like Long John Silvers. If I asked among friends and family, if I was ever like, hey, you guys want Long John Silvers? Everyone would be like, oh, no.
I really am hungry for Long John Silver's now.
Look at this delicious fish from Long John Silver's. I love this fish. Ah, yeah. Good Long John Silver's meal. The old fries, the hush puppies. Look at this. I'm curious what the subreddit's going to say about this. Yeah, because when you said sandwich, it confused me because you don't get sandwiches really. You get like these diamonds of fish and you dip that in your tartar sauce and it's delicious. Or ketchup. I like ketchup.
I'm gonna be honest. I don't actually know for sure what they have at Long John Silver's. I haven't checked recently. I haven't gone since I was a child. They have good food is what they have. They have good food. I think it's a conspiracy. A Long John Silver's or Frisch's is dying in Cincinnati right now, which is very sad because I also love Frisch's. It's dead.
dead yeah it's basically all the way dead there's like three restaurants left but frish's and long john's the world's a better place with them in it when we do this to each other this it's always a thing where a bunch of other people are gonna be like hey wait a minute i like that i can't wait to see the crickets downs on the subreddit of all all six people who are gonna be like i mean long john silvers is okay i didn't
I haven't been there in a couple years, but it's fine. Like, if I needed fish and I was the one place, I could go there. I could go there. You're so mean. I'm not going to lie. It was actually probably my favorite fast food chain at a certain point in my life. Oh, man. That's crazy. When I worked at Micro Center, there was one right down the road, so I'd take my lunch break. I would just go eat there every day.
that was working. When Burger King had their 90s tenders, they might have been my favorite, but... You know, I'm not making fun of you for liking it either. I'm just shitting on the restaurant itself because I have strong opinions that are based on very little fact. But you get the bell. Ding dong, I ate my food. I'm thinking back on it, and I remember occasionally asking for a Long John Silver's. I can't remember anybody else in my family ever asking for it. laughter
I'm not gonna fight that, oh, there's gonna be hundreds, it's like, there's gonna be tens of us, maybe fives. There's at least someone else. I genuinely like it. Look, they're still open. Long John Silver's has been in business for decades. Clearly someone goes in there for some reason. Your fish is good. Maybe they have really good bathrooms. No, they don't actually, I...
I would go to a fast food place if I needed a bathroom and I knew they all had really good bathrooms, even if I didn't care for it. I would not want to go to any seafood restaurant for the bathroom. Yeah, I wouldn't say I have fond memories of the Long John Silver's bathrooms that I went to. I don't think I ever ate in a Long John Silver's, maybe once. Oh, I did plenty of times, yeah. I'm just fishing for reasons, you know?
Stop. Start. That's not getting you off the hook. I'm just casting my net out and seeing what I can find. Fish. I would hope it would be fish, but you never know what you're going to get from a long John Silvers. Stop the hate!
I'm gonna calculate points. Oh, okay. How many points did I get for my Long John Silvers jokes? I could make more. I gave no points for Long John Silvers to you. What about me? You got one for liking it. Okay, cool. Alright, I'll take it. Well, I love Long John Silvers. How many points is that worth? Shut up.
Our bonus spin is for dropping the most items. Oh, yeah, I know. I do that a lot, don't I? Yeah, well, you did, and it was very comical because it was, like, cartoonishly slow, but we heard, like, the clang, ker-clunk.
Yeah, it happens. Splash? Wait, what's going on down there, bud? Well, splat. With a T. I just kind of didn't put the T as splat. I actually put my standing desk over a hot tub. He's right. Oh, wow. Can't see it, but, um, yeah. My performance today was pretty mediocre, but I will defend Long John's till the day I'm kicked off this episode, or this pod, today. Till today. For the rest of today, I'm fucking in favor of Long John Silver's.
I will defend them till today! Ugh, do our wheel spins, get me out of here. Oh, that's right, I do that. Oh, mystical wheel, please give us some points. Hey! Ooh, three, okay. Three bonus points today. Look at that. It started off strong, but that's the first three we've had in a while. I'm ready for it. Can't wait for our listeners and viewers to both get a point. And spin number one. Okay, come on. Most callbacks.
callbacks. I really like that one. Does Long John Silvers count as a callback? No, it doesn't count as a callback. I don't know if it's a callback if it just keeps happening in the same bit. I did a two sentence horror story callback. We all did. The Moon! The Moon Man! That was a callback. I talked about the moon. No, A. James McCarthy. Oh.
oh that's true that is two callbacks to previous like whole episodes I think I was slaying callback if I give you long johns as a callback I give that still mark has two callbacks there because his whole moon bit and probably we've talked about getting kicked in the nuts previously so that's probably a callback I'm gonna say mark gets a point for that oh all right thank you thank you thank you
Spin number 2. Point four listeners. Come on! Uh oh. Oh, this is tricky.
This is tough. I have a purple background and a salmon colored shirt. So each of you would fit better in the other person's... Mark has a salmon colored background and a gray shirt. Yeah, this is odd. Mark, do your magical math. Everyone was really a fan of that on the subreddit. Were they? Actually, I don't think people said too much about it, but a couple of people were like, what the fuck happened to Mark? Why did he... Is he okay? Okay.
I'm doing... What I'm doing is legit. I don't know... Oh, God, how am I... Alright, uh...
Wade, what if you just pick? No, no, no. It's much less scientific. All right. I'm going to pick this area above my head because it's where the middle of the colors are blending. Right? That sounds fair. I thought you were intentionally trying to not show your shirt for this. I was like, that feels like cheating. No, I'm trying to get the average color of my background. I'll give you access to as much of my background as you can. You get none of mine. Okay. I got mine. All right. Let me see yours.
Okay, I'm picking this spot like I did before where the purple meets the gray. Oh, fuck. God damn it. No, wait. Ah, it just went away. God, I never know where those go. Got that. I'm putting that in there. My shirt is shockingly uniform in color here. Yep, it is. All right, so I got that. Okay, I've got your background, your shirt. Let me get it in the light.
Shout out to Seth Meyers. Okay. Someone write these numbers down for me.
My shirt right about in the middle, right, the gray right there. 402A29. 402A29? Uh-huh, that's my shirt. The background is, if I'm in the middle, is AE542D. AE542D. Okay, and Bob's background, it should be similar to what it was before, but God knows I'll...
Okay, we got 2F1846. Okay. Okay, and then Bob's shirt, 83393A. Alright, so we convert it to RGB. So we convert 402829 and AE542D.
So that goes 64, 42, 41 to 174, 84, 45. That's very different for a total difference of 117.8. Bob, your 83393A and 2F1846 was 131, 57, 58, 47, 24, 70. A total difference of 91.
His is more close. Alright, point for Bob. All that work for just a... Yeah, point for Bob. So much fucking work. Oh, thanks, buddy. Alright, thanks, Mark. Alright, last wheel spin. Thanks for all the work, man. You're welcome. Last wheel spin. I hope it creates a lot more work for Mark.
Point for the viewers! Point for viewers. God. Alright. I hope we're tied. This is going to be statistically impossible by the end of this season. Like, how many points went to them? Well, we got one, two...
Three, four, five. Some of them started keeping track and they're like, our points should accumulate so by the end of the season we should win. We got five out of 22 so far are points for either viewers or listeners. So almost, almost a quarter of our spins are resulting in two of those out of our however many is on the wheel currently. That's a little crazy. Considering how many things are on the wheel, it's very crazy, yeah. Can we declare that a coin time? 30.
31. Two out of 31 slices on the wheel have been drawn slightly less than a quarter of the time. That seems pretty unlikely.
You guys ready for the point breakdown? Yeah. Yeah, do it. Bob, you got points for... Bear... Smart... Bear suit? Bear suit, probably, yeah. Jungle Gems. Drop something. Needs more Sawbell. Fill a side. Stop, wait, no. Don't remember what that was for. My last words to my murderer, I think. Oh, yeah.
Oh, beaver milk. Beaver milk.
Snake wrestler kicking the nuts and uh you lost the point for standing. Kind of sounds like I got points for everything I said. No, I left out a lot of the long I left out long johns and stuff like that. Didn't didn't like that. Mark, you got points for bear these nuts
And that's it. Wow, I be gone. I don't know what that actually says, but that's what I'm going to assume it says. Quick a mime, Pappy. What the fuck happened? I can't read my handwriting.
Quick-minded pop- puppy? Is there something about a puppy? No. It's right after clown testing. Poppy's playtime? Oh, yeah, yeah. Poppy's playtime. Poppy. The countdown. Naked in the shower. Protect pants underwear. Looks like it says empathy gooey in square hole. What happened to my side? What I-
Coins itching in my palm here. Everything goes to the square hole is what you wrote. I gotta tell you that for some reason the top half of these pages my pen doesn't want to write as well as it does on the bottom half. So whoever I put on the top it's a lot harder to read than whoever goes like in the middle or the bottom. Just the way it works man. Middle or the bottom? How are you breaking these pages up? It's full! If only you could use... No, you know what? That's fine. Do it the way you want.
Posent pants. Jamie's stop sign. And then you lost the point for stand. Milk moon. Can't hang out. Biopsy. Not a masochist. But you got 15 points, but you lost two. One for standing and one for...
Won't be gone or whatever the hell I said earlier. Alright, you know, it's fine. Which got you 13. The wheel gave you one to give you 14. Bob, you had 14. The wheel gave you one to get you 15. I finished with minus three. Viewers finished with plus one. So it's Bob by one point over Mark. Mark by 13 points over the viewers than me. I feel like some of my points were really long and it could have been two merged together. I feel like...
So I can read my tallies really easily. I just can't read my descriptions really easily. Bob wins, as long as you all think that's fair. Okay, whatever. I don't know what's real. I might struggle to read and write, but I can make tallies. Mark, you could always...
You gonna go for the multiple wins? Yeah, what would be the stakes if I did? So either Bob gets two wins, things stay as is, or you win and Bob loses, I think. Yeah. I feel like there's a part of the Constitution where the scorecard must be legible, and that was just a few too many illegible ones. I declare that there should be a recount because this...
He doesn't even know what he gave me points for. And that is unfair.
Oh, he said it. Unfair has been declared. If we get three heads, Mark is correct. You have to read them correctly. The episode will not end until you actually decipher what your writing was so that we can make this fair. As the host, I decline that. No, don't try to read now. As the host, if Mark gets three heads, he'll just win. I think the host does get to decide what happens, but I like Mark's version.
I get to petition what is unfair and then he gets... If you lose, do you just lose twice or does Bob win twice? Or both? I think either I win twice or Mark gives up a win. Yeah, that is true. We are keeping score of that. That doesn't matter. Well, heads for you, tails for Bob.
I got a head. Shit. I got heads. Only Mark didn't get Mark. Only Mark can prevent Mark from winning. Sounds like what happened today was very fair. It was fair. It was deemed fair. All right, whatever you say.
It sounds like I'm getting a new pen for the next one just in case. Took a lot of notes. I lost points for Smokey, Floppy Joes, and Mobile. Well, uh, Mark, being as you are confirmed to have lost fair and square, loser speech. Uh, I don't even remember what happened in this episode. Uh, kinda blanked out there for a little bit, but I declared unfair.
And, you know, honestly, I think the coin lied. I think this was still unfair. I will not abide by it, but I can't do anything about it. So... I always love when I host an episode and before the episode's even over, it's been so forgettable that we don't even know what happened. LAUGHTER
Bob, winner's speech. I think if there's anything we've learned over our years of doing this show, it's that coins don't lie. Coins know the truth. Coins are the ultimate fairness. Coins can't even be unfair because they're just coins. They have no will of their own.
They just tell you what is or is not. I feel very vindicated that the coins confirmed how fair this episode was. No matter how much shit I talk about Long John Silver's, I just can't lose a point if I try. I mean, it's fair. And so anyway, thank you to the coins. And I guess thank you to Wade for not being able to write but only on Mark's part of the paper. And I look forward to hosting the next episode, as is fair and deserved.
Oh yeah, I'm supposed to talk again now. I'm just still so disappointed in your dislike of Long John Silver's. I'll do the outro if you want. No, it's okay. If you guys haven't already, make sure you follow Bob, our winner. My skirm. Mark at Markiplier. Me, I'm the loser based on the points. Oh, that's true. Me, the loser at Million777 or LordMillion777. Follow our viewers on the subreddit. They got third place. Pretty good. Listeners, do better. Podcast out.
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