Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
01:04:48 Share

This episode is brought to you by Fast Growing Trees. Get your garden flourishing. This spring, they have the best deals for your yard. Up to half off of select plants and other deals. Plus, they're alive and thrive guaranteed. Ensures your plants arrive happy and healthy. And listeners to our show get 15% off their first purchase when using code DISTRACTABLE at checkout. Visit fastgrowingtrees.com slash distractable. Offer is valid for a limited time.

and terms and conditions may apply! This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you just when you need it most? Hint, it's Uber. What about me when I show up to your house at 3 a.m.? That's when I get the Uber to sneak out the back and pick me up and drive me away. Yeah, it would have been really nice if you had told...

me that just left me out to drive for no reason hey bob sounds like you need someone to take you places i need uber whatever it is big or small uber is on the way so you can be on yours uber on our way

This episode is brought to you by Degree Original Cool Rush Deodorant. So, remember last year, people got really mad when Degree changed their Cool Rush formula? One dude even started a petition? Guess what? Degree listened, admitted they messed up, and are bringing the original Cool Rush scent back. You've got to love when a brand can own its mistakes. And it's in Walmart, Target, and other stores now for under $4. So soon you'll see why it's been the number one men's antiperspirant for the last decade.

The OG degree cool rush is back. And it smells like victory for all of us.

This episode of Distractable is brought to you by Doom: The Dark Ages. Id Software presents Doom: The Dark Ages, a dark fantasy sci-fi experience that brings epic combat and over-the-top visuals to the legendary Doom franchise. Dominate demon-infested battlefields with devastating weapons, soar on a mecha dragon, and witness the creation of a legend as the Slayer takes on Hell itself.

Doom the Dark Ages, available now on Xbox Series X and S, PlayStation 5, and PC. Rated M for Mature. Good evening, gentle listener or watcher, and welcome to Distractible.

This episode.

Yes, it's time for Mark's Big Dumb Word Game. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hi, welcome to Distractible. Thank you, Baltimore, for that incredible intro. You're a treasure. You the man. A beautiful soul, and we appreciate you. I'm looking off to the left, I'm assuming. I looked up toward the heavens, because he is our god. I wouldn't dare to look at him. I know my place. My name is Markiplier. This is Distractible. You did find the right podcast. You don't need to look anywhere else. This is the only place you need to be ever and forever. All those other podcasts, they're...

Horrible people. Yeah. Get them. We're the only good ones. Yeah. The only ones. Anyway, the other good ones here are Bob and Wade. Tell them how good you are. I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille. Hello.

All right, I'll go away. I'm better than both of you, which means I'm the best person on Earth, according to our rules. Wow. Because we're all better than all of the rest of them. We're making some sweeping generalizations to start today, and I'm here for it. I mean, everyone's going to start a podcast eventually, so, you know. There's only three guys who form a podcast. Everyone is either already a podcast-er.

Or just a podcast-er waiting. It's all Linguini, Glasses Guy, and Mustache Man. We know those three. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. Anyway, in this podcast, we're going to play a fun little game. Every episode's different because every episode, we, for some reason, decided that we all need to... Sorry. Let me clear my throat. For some reason, we decided that every episode, we need to do something different, including a different person hosting. So this week, I've come up with a fun game. But before we do that...

It's everyone's favorite part of the podcast, Small Talk! Alright! I'm gonna also extend Small Talk out to things going on in the world that you like. That could also be a thing. I have a question for you. Is that supposed to be something I'm aware of? Things going on in the world that I like? Or is that an optional kind of thing? Wait, I liked you sucking back your question. That was pretty good. Thank you. Suck it back in? I tried. You really did.

He really he sucked it back in I saw it. I just want you to know wait. I saw it. He did That's what happened I just didn't I do think sometimes I expect just like the listeners or the watchers to pick up on but every now and then you guys pick up on the little cues I give and I enjoy that I noticed it Thank you. All right. Anyway, are you going first to Wade? Yes, very confident I am going first because I want to know

What do you guys think the best month is? I was talking to Molly yesterday and she's like, I think April is one of the best months. And I was like, you can't really swim during April. It's kind of like the rainy, like, but it's kind of like the most hopeful month, at least in Cincinnati, as far as like,

Finally winter's behind us, things are starting to bloom, it's like the "Ah, we're moving in, we're transitioning into nicer weather." So I couldn't really think of a more hopeful month, but I don't know if it's the best month. We are at the end of April, but I'm like, I don't know, I really enjoy it. It's my birth month, and I think I'm a gift to this world, so therefore I do think April's probably the best, but... Sure, sure. I don't know of a month that gives me more hope, but I don't know if it's my favorite month as far as the season. I like having pool and boat. April's the transition to get there. Hmm.

I don't think it's April. But not for any particular reason because... I agree, sir. You're lucky I don't take a point for that. Go, come on! Alright, but no, I've never really thought about what's the best month. December, I guess, maybe? No. God, that was so stupid. December! What's wrong with me? Yeah, we all love Christmas. Yeah.

know i don't know i i can't think of any there's no you can't remember any other months no i can't think of any but that would be my favorite or why okay i barely keep track of the month i'm just kind of past this how is it already almost may when we're recording this it's already may when people are listening to it it's gonna be my bob what's your busy month i was asking what's your favorite month my busiest month yeah uh no my my favorite month is um i prefer the transition from hot to cold

Like coming out of winter is good and it's definitely the this month we're in right now is usually in Ohio the first month where you start to get some actually warm days out and it's nice.

But I love that first September day where the sun comes out in the morning and it's kind of warm. If you're out in the sun, it's warm. But then as the afternoon breaks and it goes into evening, it cools off and you get that cool crisp. You're out there walking the dog or something and you're just wearing shorts and a t-shirt and then you're just like, ooh, it's chilly. And those first days for me are my favorite. I love the fall.

I played a lot of fall sports. I was a big football guy growing up and stuff. So like that's connected to a lot of nostalgia for me also, I think. But yeah. Favorite season.

for sure is fall i love the fall transition so i love like september october i think september's good because that's the month august is very forgettable but september at least is when you go oh shit i only have three and a half months until the end of the year i gotta get my ass in gear my resolution my resolution oh god i forgot my resolution maybe i can make it up and then you know i think there's a lot of potential in september and panic which always works that's fair i

I like the transition to warm better, but I will give this knock to April. April is tax season. Yeah. That's a pretty, like the first half of April. It's always bad. Other than my birthday, which is whatever religion you are, every God's gift to this planet, me. Otherwise, preparing for taxes and paying taxes is not the best thing. It's hard to complain. What we do, uh,

We're pretty lucky. And like, there aren't a lot of parts of this job that I would openly complain to other people about. But taxes, man. Imagine you just get like a W-2 and you have like, maybe you have a retirement account or something. And that's like the craziest shit you have. God, do I miss... Would that be nice? I'd file my own taxes so happily. Pretty much all of the rest of this is...

like super fun and I'm not at all about to complain about it. Tax withholding and benefits, two underrated things. Taxes really ruin April for me. I hate them. Can't disagree with that. I never really pay attention to taxes. I really hope my accountant is helping me on that because if not, I am F-U-C-K-E-D fucked. Meanwhile, your accountant's like, Mark, you owe this much. Like triple what you actually owe and they're just taking one off to the Bahamas. Ah, well...

Whatever, you know, just take it. Could I be your accountant? Guys, I have small talk. So I am an iPhone user and I have almost all of my computing in my life is Apple based. So judge that how you might. I'm not not remotely like an Apple fanboy, but I'm committed. I made my choice. I live in the Apple realm.

except for this setup that we're on right now because you can't use Apple for like streaming you can but it's less convenient to use Apple for all this sort of stuff that we do where it's like streaming and capturing and having a thousand things plugged into my USB ports and shit I just have PC's

I just literally between recording episodes with you guys stumbled upon a feature of Windows 11 that is the first thing I think I like about Windows 11 which is a piece of software called Microsoft Phone Link which is a thing you can get on your iPhone and on a Windows 11 PC

which allows you to send messages through iMessage on a Windows PC. It's literally still like syncing in the background. I have it up on this monitor over here and it's like populating and you know when you sync your phone to things, it like takes a while, right? It's slow, it's a Bluetooth. But literally I can send a text to, well, already I'm seeing a problem because the group text isn't working, but I just sent Mark a text that says text

test and I sent that by typing it into my computer and it failed

theoretically is going to send that to you from my phone through iMessage. I just did that from Windows. It's not a group text. In our group text, you both are separate contacts on my message list in Windows, and so I can't text both of you at the same time. But I see all of the messages. You picked Mark because he's hosting. I get it. That's why. It's not a perfect system. It's just not like... I don't think Apple really endorsed this or whatever. But this is...

fucking awesome that I could just have this up and so like if Mandy texts or calls or if I get other notifications because it's showing me like I have email I have

I don't know, whatever. A weather alert, because it's a big-ass storm outside right now. It's cool! That's one of my biggest gripes is, when I use all my Apple stuff, all my shit is everywhere. If I'm on my MacBook, all of my phone notifications are there. I can use iMessage. I can... This is awesome, and I didn't know this existed. And I don't know how well it works, but I just sent you a text, Mark, so it worked.

I saw it. It does work, yeah. Absolutely. This is not something that maybe anyone else gives very much of a shit about, but for me, this is one of my biggest gripes of like,

having to have PC and Mac things in my life. I'd rather just have all one. But now they're all connected-ish. Connected enough that if I need to do something like tend to text from my computer while I'm doing something else, I can do it! It's fucking cool! And it's just built into Windows. That's cool. I appreciate it. That's dope. That's super cool. Ah! You remembered something! Sorry.

You alright? Well, it's your turn. Go ahead. The NFL draft happened. Ooh, I wasn't watching because I assumed it would be bad. Was it bad for us? So, it's too early to tell. Sounds like it was bad, Mark. I guess it was bad. What do I write about that, Bob? Too early to tell. What do I mark on his point scheme? It was bad! Exclamation point. Penis, penis. Initial indications for the Bengals is...

Well, what we really needed was a good offensive line. We did draft two guards. So I'm sure we drafted a lot of really good offensive linemen very early in the draft. We did draft two guards. I think like second and fourth round or third and fifth.

fifth or something i don't know not horrible like really honestly but no a lot of the picks could be great players but also they're kind of like developmental for a team that needs to win now they're seen as like they could be great they just need some time to develop rookies aren't exactly the solution to winning superbowls that's probably a fair statement

We have the biggest Swiss cheese of teams. Like, you take a bite, it's like, mm, this is good. And then you take another bite, it's like, where's the cheese? Because it's full of holes. That's what I think when I eat Swiss. Where's all my cheese? I'm just like, when I bite air in the middle of my cheese, I'm just like, fuck, it always gets me.

Damn it fucking Swiss douchebags. It's like the thong of cheeses There's a little bit of cheese and a lot of holes. What Swiss cheese are you eating? It's just like a sponge, but it's all theoretical Swiss cheese if you turn it like in front of you at a certain angle it just disappears completely because it's like

It's just Joe Burrow standing in a vast emptiness. That is usually his past protection. Damn that cheese. We could be good this year. We could be the same. Or we could be worse, is how I feel about this year. That's a lot of could-bes. Yeah.

Those are basically the three options, yeah. If someone told me we were going to be any of those three, I would believe them because that's kind of how it's gone. I don't know very much about it because I don't follow him, but since we're talking football, did you guys see, I assume Mark probably didn't, but did you see Shadur Sanders, son of Deion Sanders, who also, Deion Sanders is his coach, was his coach at Colorado. Shadur is a quarterback. Apparently he launched a brand of

I don't know, clothes or lifestyle. Legendary. He launched a brand and he had a whole thing. It's common for guys who are like, no, they're going to get drafted to be like, get the family together and have like a setup, right? Because they're likely to be filmed or whatever. It's a big deal to get drafted, especially if you get drafted early.

projected top five pick. Yeah, and so he had like a room. He had a special room built, which was his picked early in the draft, gonna be on this couch in this room with all my branding. And then he did get drafted, right? But he got drafted like...

Fifth round or something? Day three, fifth round. He waited like 70 hours from when he thought he would be picked. I'm nothing personally against the dude. I know his dad is, you know, quite the boastful, egotistical man, and I'm sure his son is similar, but he's a good football player as far as I know.

But man, that's gotta be so fucking awkward. I have a conspiracy theory about this. You got your own custom-built room, and you're like, when I get picked first, I'm gonna be sitting... And then for two and a half days, you're like, alright, when I get picked 167th, I'm gonna be sitting on that couch. This is the one, guys. Like...

God damn. He was the second quarterback taken by the Browns. He got prank called by the son of like a Falcons defensive coordinator. Oh no. So apparently like a 21 year old, the son of the Falcons defensive. I think it's Falcons defensive coordinator. I'm wrong. He saw like his dad's tablet and saw like Shador Sanders number on there. Took it was like, you know, it'd be funny if I prank call him on his like,

This is my I'm getting drafted cell phone and tell him he's getting drafted by the New Orleans Saints. Oh, that's rough. So they called it like this is this is Ricky Bobby from the New Orleans Saints. We're picking you next. This is Gary Saints. Just want to let you know. Apparently the transcript. He was like, bro, we're gonna be picking you soon, bro. It's like that sounds so much like the general manager of the Saints would be talking.

It's weird because people with a lot more red, like he has some red flags, sure. And he's not the best quarterback prospect we've ever seen, but like, he's good. He's certainly good enough to be drafted. I don't feel like he's not just drafted because he's Deon Sanders kid. Like it's good. He doesn't have like a huge arrest record. He doesn't have like a whole, like he's got a bit of a ego and his dad's Deon Sanders. Like, right. And maybe he's not the strongest arm, but he's like a good quarterback. He should have been like a first, second rounder. Most like like second round. I could see he should have been a first or second rounder. I think he's,

Because there was talk of Deion Sanders being like, I'm going to step in and if a team tries to draft my son that I don't like, we're going to say no. We're going to Eli Manning this shit. I think the NFL executives came together, like the team owners, and they were like, we

As myself,

I can't imagine getting drafted and then being like, not you. Someone else will pick me. I want to, but also if you're literally like one of the best in the country,

It's not a guarantee, but kind of. It was a guarantee, right? Like, he is an NFL caliber player. He, at the very least, is going to go and try and play in the NFL and see if he can make a career. Why can't he pick? I know it's like a pride thing and it's shitty, but if I got picked by the Browns, that's one team where I would at least be like, can I say no? Or do I have to Browns? Because...

Browns and the Jets are the two places quarterbacks go to die. But I mean, like, I get it. And it's just wild. It's a crazy story. Because it does seem like they were all like, fuck that kid. Don't pick him. Even if we should pick him.

He was projected a top five pick, and he was the sixth or seventh quarterback taken, and the second one the Browns took. Really weird situation. Yeah, that's strange. Mark, you know all about this from your hit podcast, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're a big sports podcast guy, right? So I'm sure you already talked hours and hours about the draft. It's really sad, though, because every other player who got drafted, like the entire draft,

was like, well, we thought Shador Sanders might go here. Like the first overall pick got no coverage because the second overall pick, the Browns traded. So literally like these kids are having their moment that they've waited their whole life for. And they're like, uh, Camo, trade, trade, trade. Oh my God, Shador Sanders.

Sanders going to Jacksonville trade for Shador Sanders? What? Oh, they didn't take Shador Sanders. They took whatever his name is. Number three. It's got to be Shador Sanders. All the way to pick 165. With the sixth pick in the draft, the Jacksonville Jaguars have selected...

Not Shador Sanders. And I'm just like, all right, next pick. We'll get to him. We'll get to him. That's what it was like. Like, you could see some of the people, like, they're like side-eye. Like, a pick will be named. They'll be like, it's still not Shador Sanders. Do we talk about Shador Sanders? You know what we should do? Make every pick feel like they're not Shador Sanders. So it's like the first 165 dudes taken, it's like, eh, it's not Shador Sanders. Whatever. We should move on. Well, I think that's factually accurate. They should have been Shador Sanders if they wanted to be Shador Sanders.

I feel like I'm saying his name wrong the more I say it. I feel like I am too, but I don't know. Mr. Sanders. He's an adult now. He's an NFL player. Okay.

I'll call him Mr. Anyway, thanks for tuning into our sports podcast, everyone. Yeah, everybody here loves sports, right? Equally. Oh, absolutely. I can't believe how many points Mark must have just frantically scribbled down with all the sports discussion. I was just... Oh, man, I'm going to need a new pen nib here. I feel like he was probably like, that's what Tyler was talking about. No, I wasn't that either. I am on a sports podcast. I forgot about it.

I know this one! I don't know this one!

This episode is brought to you by Degree Original Cool Rush Deodorant. So, remember last year, people got really mad when Degree changed their Cool Rush formula? One dude even started a petition? Guess what? Degree listened, admitted they messed up, and are bringing the original Cool Rush scent back. You've got to love when a brand can own its mistakes. And it's in Walmart, Target, and other stores now for under $4. So soon you'll see why it's been the number one men's antiperspirant for the last decade.

The OG degree cool rush is back. And it smells like victory for all of us. This episode of Distractible is brought to you by McDonald's all new McCrispy strips. New McCrispy strips are here. It's chicken made for dipping. Tender, juicy white meat chicken with a golden brown peppery breading. It's chicken so good, it deserves its own sauce. The creamy chili McCrispy strip dip.

A sauce that's creamy, savory, and sweet with a little heat, but it works with any of the sauces. It's sauce. I like sauce. I get chicken. I put sauce on chicken. I like sauce on chicken. Sauce goes on chicken. New McCrispy strips with a new creamy chili McCrispy strip dip. It's chicken made for dipping. Only at McDonald's.

This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime. You know what I got off of Amazon that is actually a crucial component of this show? My coin that I can never remember which side is heads and which side is tails. Well, it's not just about products. Sometimes it's about shows. And Amazon Prime also comes with Prime Video. Whatever it is, Prime helps you get more out of whatever passions you're into or getting into. Head to amazon.com slash prime and follow your obsession...

wherever it goes. Now, it's time for the main event. Boys, are you ready?

for Mark's big dumb word game. Yes. Oh, fuck. I forgot. I love when every Mark's idea starts with, oh, no. What could you have forgotten? I need like a buzzer sound. I forgot I was going to get that. Damn it. Hold on. Keep talking about sports. Keep it up.

Yeah, shout out to the other 165 of you. Scataboo got drafted. Scataboo.

Scataboo, great name. Fun to watch. He was good too. I don't know if he had injury concern. That clip of him just like running down, getting that huge play and then being tackled by his face mask and the guy literally ripping his helmet off and then he stands up and he's just like... He looks like kind of a smug asshole but also that's a pretty hard clip. Like he looks pretty badass. 144th Shador was taken. 144, my bad. I said like 160. Also, it's every year there's a guy who's picked last and...

It's usually pretty nice because if you're picked last, it means you were like, oh, I don't even know. Like, I hope I get drafted. But they had a video of the guy who got picked last this year was so sweet. He had his whole family. They were just like sitting in the family kitchen. And I think it was Pittsburgh picked him and his name came up and they were all just like, oh, it happened. And everyone cried.

What's his face? Brock Purdy was the last pick. He's like the only last pick to become like Brock Purdy. Moderately successful. Yeah, I think. I think. I could be wrong about that, but as far as I remember. What do they call it? Last pick is Mr. Irrelevant? Or is that like the last pick quarterback? Mr. Irrelevant is just the last pick. You know what? He's relevant enough. He's a football player now. No one else can suck it. I might have to have the editors put something in because I'm not sure. Can you guys hear any of this? No.

Damn it. Okay. I'll just say it with my mouth. Alright.

Buzz! You should get an app for your phone and then... Oh, that'd be smart. Why didn't I do that? I have one. Do you guys ever just get the song My Ding-a-ling? Chuck Berry gets stuck in your head? No, but I'm familiar with the song and it sounds quite funny. My grandparents had it on like... They had like a big jukebox, like an actual jukebox that would like pick up... Like that played 45s and stuff? Yeah. Damn, that's pretty cool. They had Monster Mash and...

Whatever that song's called probably bread and butter or toast and jam or something. They had other songs too Those are the three I remember and for some reason today my ding-a-ling Stop talking about your ding-a-ling. Stop. Why would pressing it again not stop it? Does it just play until it's over and there's no way to stop it? Yeah, and this is a lot. Why is this so long? If it gives you any consolation, we can't hear that either So long Anyway

Oh, Buzz. What? Is this all one sound? What's happening? No, this is different sounds. Oh, okay.

Oh god, it's a whole fucking song. I can't stop it. Okay, there we go, okay. Alright, uh, there- I forgot this soundboard that I have is the meme soundboard and I don't even know what the fuck. I'm just gonna go with gong.

Okay, welcome to Mark's Big Dumb Word Game! Alright, so this needs a moderate amount of explanation. Don't worry, the ultimate perfect crime is coming. I just gotta work on it. I just gotta work on it a little longer. It's gonna be perfect. It's gonna be great. All the other versions were terrible, awful, horrible even.

But the next one is going to be the ultimate. But anyway, this is Mark's Big Dumb Word Game, how it's going to work. I'm going to give you a sentence, a short sentence that is a memorable quote that you guys have probably heard before. But how it's going to work is I'm going to give you a sentence. One of you is going to start. You have two options.

Change one of the words in the sentence to something that it rhymes with or add another word But it has to be in between the other words not at the beginning not at the end so for example Fee-fi-fo-fum one then one of you would say fee-fi-fo-dumb Fee-fi-so-dumb fee-fi-so-big-dumb

you have to remember what the change was that the other person did and then build the sentence longer and longer until one of you messes up. Whoever doesn't mess up gets a point. Whoever is the cleverest little boy wins.

And we'll win overall. It's a very simple game, but it needs you to use your big, big brain. Pay attention and use memory. Two of my biggest weaknesses. Yeah. Additional rules. Don't repeat any words. All these sentences, except for words like subject words, some of them have more than one

I or me. But if it already has more than one word in it, in the sentence, don't add that same word. So let's just say it can't have any word that was originally there and it can't have any of the additions can't be repeat additions. So if it, but I will accept fuck,

I'll accept variations to some degree. We might change that rule on the fly, but I want to give you some flexibility. But it has to be real words. It can't just be splurb. You're putting that rule in there for Mark. It's very simple. It's going to be very simple. I totally understand what's about to start happening to us. I'm glad. All right. Heads, weight goes first. Bail it up.

Fucking Christ. That looks like tails, I think. Yeah, that's tails. All right. It's a good thing I understand. All right. So this is going to be so simple. I give you the sentence. You either add a word in between or change a word in there to one that rhymes. And you can change the words that were added as well, if you so choose. The world inside that sentence is your oyster. Are you ready? Yes.

Here we go. To infinity and beyond. Am I allowed to change one word? I'm just going to do it. To infinity and your mom. Bending the rules on the very first one. That was two words. Fine. You want me to start over? You want me to change my tact? No.

Oh, yes. Yes, I think I have to be... It can't change on the very first one. It's got to be one at a time. Well, I just had the same idea, but it was two different words I was going to add. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Processing the rules, processing the rules. Hang on, hang on. Oh, this is his payback for two-sentence horror stories, isn't it? Go to... No, it can't be at the beginning. Hang on, there's so many rules.

I didn't think it would be this hard. How's it feel being on the other side of this, Mark? I don't know. I'll see where it goes. How many scary tapes you gonna bust out? To infinity, bath and beyond. To infinity, bath sand beyond. Alright, I'll accept it. That worked. To infinity...

Bath, sand, volleyball, and beyond. I think you added another and in there. Yeah, bath, sand, volleyball, beyond. He changed and to sand. Oh, he got rid of and. To infinity, sand, and beyond. Bath is still in there. To infinity, bath, sand, and beyond. To infinity, bath, sand, volleyball, beyond would be what you said. Which one is it? I'm going to ring it.

All right, Bob, you lose. I did that on purpose so we could learn. Yeah, that was a practice round. That was worth a point. So not a practice round at all. All right. All the things, I am thinking of many ideas. They're just all somehow against the rules. It's fair. It's so simple. You change a word to one that rhymes or add another word in between. That's it. One at a time. Super easy, right? Yeah.

Feed me another quote, Papa. Wade, all for one and one for all. All for one and one for ball. All for one and fun for ball. All for one and fun for big ball. All for one and small fun for big ball.

Yes. Tall for one and small fun for big ball. What? Wait, was that right? Wait, was that right? That was just the same sentence, wasn't it? I said tall for one at the start. I thought we couldn't change the very start or the very end. No, you can change the first or end word. You just can't. You can't add a word to the start or end. Oh.

Oh, okay, okay. Wait, no, but then you got it right. So I was wrong there. Bob, go! Tall bald for fun and small fun for big ball. Beautiful. Tall bald for fun and small bald for big fun. Oh, no.

I swear he double worded! I swear he double worded! I did not! I did it right, I think. Yes. See, it's simple, right? It's simple. You guys got it. Oh, God. All right, Bob, you got this. I believe you. Wait, that's what I say to you. Wait, hey, you can't do that. That's my bit. No, don't do that. That doesn't feel very good at all. Hey, stop. Are you ready? You ready? Okay.

I came, I saw, I conquered. I came, I saw cum, I conquered. I came, I saw bum, I conquered. I came, I saw crumbs, I conquered. I came, I saw big crumbs, I conquered. This is gonna be a bunch of big and tall and small.

Yep. All right. It's valid. It's valid. I came. I saw fig crumbs. I conquered. I came. I saw fig crumbs. I then conquered. It works. It's smart. That's great. I came loudly. I saw fig crumbs. I then conquered. I came loudly.

Loudly, I saw fig crumbs. I then conquered fuck. It's at the end. Yep. Could have been I fucking. I then fucking conquered. Yeah, I just, I conquered before the fuck. I understand it now.

Good, I'm glad you're in your element. I'm falling apart. Alright, okay. No, this is good. He's gotta pick your angles. Rosa Sharn, you're tearing this family apart. Alright, Bob, you're up first, I think. Wade is. Wade, you're up. Yes. Wade.

I think, therefore I am. I think sometimes, therefore I am. I stink sometimes, therefore I am. I drink sometimes, therefore I am. I drink... Nope, wait, hang on. That's two words again. I'm bending the rules. I'm bending the rules everywhere. Can I just change the sentence completely? Hang on. That's a new sentence. My fingers are really gone. Therefore I am. That was my new sentence. Ha ha ha!

I'm going to give you one last chance. I drink sometimes a lot, therefore I am. A lot can be one word, I think sometimes. Oh, there's a space in there, but that's like one word, right? Sometimes use is one word. I think that qualifies. I drink sometimes a lot, therefore I spam. I drink sometimes a lot, therefore I eat spam. I drink sometimes a lot, slowly, therefore I eat spam.

I drink sometimes a lot slowly, therefore I eat quickly spam. I drink sometimes a lot lowly, therefore I eat quick spam. Hey, if you're going to throw random bullshit in there, I'm going to go on the offense. That's the problem with random bullshit.

This game is throwing random bullshit. I'm just following the rules. You can throw logical bullshit. Then it's easier to remember that way. I don't want more bullshit. Look, this is like the perfect crime all over. I'm trying to build with you here. I'm working. I'm interested in collaborating. You're just going straight into making it difficult for me. And I'm not going to just lay back and take it.

I'm making it difficult for both of us. My brain says yes and I and. Or my brain says something and I yes and.

Alright, I think you both have it now so I'm gonna take the training wheels off if now from now on if anyone makes any kind of error or if you take too long I'll ring the gong No, go all right. This one's a little longer. They're not all gonna be but I think you're up to the challenge I'm up first now. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'll huff I'll puff I'll blow your house down

I'll huff, I'll puff, I'll blow your little house down. I'll huff, I'll snuff, I'll blow your little house down. I'll bluff, I'll snuff, I'll blow your little house down. I'll bluff, I'll slowly snuff.

I'll blow your little house down! I'll quickly bluff, I'll slowly snuff, I'll blow your little house down! I'll quickly bluff, I'll slowly snuff, I'll blow your little red house down! I'll quickly bluff, I'll slowly snuff, and I will leisurely blow your little red house down! I'll...

Quickly bluff, I'll slowly snuff, I'll leisurely blow your little red brick house down! I'll quickly bluff, I'll slowly snuff, I'll leisurely blow your little red frick house down! I'll quickly snuff, bluff, FUCK! I'll quickly snuff! I'll quickly snuff all of you! It would have been fine if you kept going.

I had to bluff before I snuff. You could have snuffed twice. I'll quickly snuff. I'll slowly snuff.

Oh no, that wouldn't work. No, that wouldn't be the same word. There's so many rules here. All right. Bob is tearing away with it. I know my limit. I get to a limit and I'm like, nope, Rayden can't. I was trying to play nice and then you started doing stuff quickly and slowly. I can't help it. All right, Wade. Here's your chance at redemption. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Lashes to ashes, dust to dust. Lashes to flashes, dust to dust. Gashes to flashes, dust to dust. Gashes to bashes, dust to dust. Gashes to bashes, must to dust. Gashes to bashes, must to trust. Gashes to bashes, must to...

Big Trust. All those just said the same exact thing! Gashes to Little Bashes. Must to Big Trust. Trashes to Little Gashes. Dust to Little Trust. Well, it wasn't... Wait, it was... No, yeah, that's wrong. Gust to Must. Bashes was the second one. Fuck!

I think, you know, I think Wade, you just need to get a hang of it. You're, you're, you are doing so okay. You're so close, buddy. You're getting there. I was like, I'll just play the rhyming game with Bob. And then we said so many words. I was like, every word, every rhyme. Okay. All right. Let's do some other than like the, the, the, the, the, all right, here we go. Bob's first. I'm first. Yeah. You're first. You can't handle the truth.

You can't handle my truth. You can't handle thigh truth. You can't handle fried truth. You can't handle fried Ruth. You can't handle deep fried Ruth. You, Bob, can't handle deep fried Ruth. Do I have to say my name there then? Yeah, I think so. You slob.

Can't handle deep fried Ruth. You, throb, can't handle deep fried Ruth. You, mob, can't handle deep fried Ruth. You, cob, can't handle deep fried Ruth. You...

Rob can't handle deep fried Ruth. Didn't he just say... He said throb. He said throb, I think. And we have said Bob. Rob is different. You, knob, can't handle deep fried Ruth. You, little knob, can't handle deep fried Ruth. You, little knob, can't handle deep fried Ruth. You, little fucking knob, can't handle deep fried Ruth. You, little fucking...

Glob can't handle deep fried roof. You widdle fucking shit, Glob, can't handle deep fried roof. You widdle fucking shit, Glob, can't handle deep fried paper roof. You little fucking shit knob can't handle deep fried paper wrapped roof. You widdle fucking shit knob can't handle deep fried paper sleuth.

Paper-wrapped Ruth. Paper-wrapped! Also, I think there was some glob-knob mix-up. Yeah, I made it glob. He turned it back to knob, so I just went with it because you didn't call him. Yeah, if I don't catch it, I don't think I can count it unless you do some kind of coin. I'm saving that for later. I'm going to need it. I'll get my coin out just in case.

Okay, all right. Man, Bob, you're running away with this. Wade, here's yours. Houston, we have a problem. Houston, we have a big problem. Houston, we have a big space problem. Houston, we have a big race problem.

Houston, we have a big grace problem. Houston, we have a big lace problem. Houston, we have a big mace problem. Houston, we have a big trace problem. Houston, we have a big trace elements problem. Houston, we have a pig trace elements problem.

Houston, we have a rig trace elements problem. Houston, we have a fig trace elements problem. Houston, we have a fig Newton trace elements problem. Houston, we have a fig juice Newton trace elements problem. Wait, that can't be right.

The singer. She does Angel of the Morning, which is the opener to Deadpool. I could have sworn. Did he add two words that time? No, he just added a really weird word. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. I'll let it slide. Houston, we have a fig juice box Newton trace element problem. Houston, bro, we have a fig juice box Newton trace element problem.

Houston, bro, fucking, we have a big fig juice box Newton trace elements problem. Houston, little bro, fucking, we have a big juice box Newton trace elements problem. No, sorry, it's a big fig. What? No, you needed big and fig, you just said big.

I thought we changed big to fig. Did we? Am I wrong? Bob, am I wrong? I thought it was fig Newton, fig juice box Newton. Yeah, I think it was just fig. Oh.

I'll take the L. Give it to me. I think you added one because you said Houston. Little bro. Fucking we have a big juice box Newton trace elements. Whatever the fuck. I don't know. Give me the L. I'll take the L. God damn it. I'm sure I fucked up. We thought you were trying to earn zero points on the whole episode. I

know whenever I'm beat and this one is beating my ass. Alright, I'm gonna change one rule because I also had an idea to do it differently. Save that for the more perfecter three words. Alright, what we're gonna do is we're gonna do this again, same way that we have been doing, except we can't replace words.

So we can't replace words anymore. It's just inserting words in between the original quote So now you don't have to worry about the the word shifting you have the pillars of those words, right? Try this variation because I wanted to try it and see if that might make It all work a little better because even I can't keep track of this shit. All right. Bye

Bob, I think you're up now. This is topical because Oblivion just came out. The remaster. I haven't played it, but it just came out. What a long quote. This is very topical because Oblivion just came out. The remaster. I haven't played it, but it just came out. Wade.

Oh, you didn't insert a word, dong. I said very. I said very. No, no, we're not going to do that. I'll take my L. This is me. Hello, I'm L-Boy. Bob, stop right there, criminal scum. Stop right there, you criminal scum. Stop right there, you fucking criminal scum. Stop right there, you fucking terrible criminal scum.

Stop right there, you fucking terrible, smelly criminal scum. You stop right there, you fucking terrible, smelly criminal scum. Oh, wait, was that against the rules? Oh, wait, ding dong, yeah, same word.

You're right! Also, it was added at the beginning. There were two violations. Oh, that was double violation. Oh, that's true. That's true. You stop right there. We'll have to get an independent judge panel to review this session. I'm trying to pay attention. I'm just enjoying it so much. All right. Okay. Wade, you got a point. There can be miracles when you believe. Wade.

Live fast, die young. Live fast or die young. Live fast and or die young. Live fast and or you'll die young. Live fast and shit or you'll die young.

Live fucking fast and or shit, you'll die young. Nope. And shit or. And shit or. Fuck! Your fuck up turned into my fuck up! Mine wasn't a fuck up, it was just a pause. Should I enforce the pauses? No, we need those. I can't remove pauses. No, I meant like you have to keep the pause in next time you quote it. You have to keep the same delivery. Oh.

Alright, a new rule. You have to keep the same delivery. Oh! Whoa!

Just practicing. Alright, okay, alright, alright. Here we go. Bob! Another day, another dollar. Another day, another sweet dollar. What the fuck, man? What the fuck? I'm just spicing it up. Oh, I thought you were mimicking me. Another day, another fucking sweet dollar. Another terrible day, another fucking sweet dollar. Another stinking terrible day, another sweet dollar. Nope.

BUT! He said "fuckin'" and we're no longer replacing words. Another stinkin' fuckin' day. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I'm really struggling today! I can't even honestly tell if I'm doing good or bad except when Mark cuts in to stop it! Oh man, you're doing so good. I really appreciate you guys here. This game is very fun for me. I know what my one-man show will be inevitably when I get it one day. Just this for a fucking hour. Alright, wait, here, you can do this one. I got it. Yeah, I'm ready. Run, Forest, run! Run, Forest! You, run!

Run, Forrest Gump! You run! Run, fucking Forrest Gump! You run! Just head fucking everywhere. Run, fucking Forrest Gump! You shit! Run! Run, fucking Forrest Gump!

You shit-ass! Run! Run, fucking Forrest Gump! You little shit-ass! Run! Run, motherfucking Forrest Gump! You little shit-ass! Run! Did he add something to that? Wait... Yeah, little, little, little shit-ass. No, I added little. Wait. Motherfucking. That's it. Oh, okay. Run, motherfucking Forrest Gump! Wow! You little shit! Run! Oh, yeah, the U is extra. Fuck!

Also, I said you little shit wasn't it just little shit ass I'm not sure that we've been perfect on this today No, I don't think any of them have been actually all the way, right? Yeah, not quite, but he'll be whatever gets caught. Uh

All right. I love the building, the impressions. Let's keep that in there. Yeah, that's what we need. But instead of the global Christopher Walken thing, instead of following what was there at the beginning, you have to follow what your opponent just did. So it'll change over time.

This episode is brought to you by Vitamin Water. Living in a big city like Cincinnati has challenges. That's so big, man. LA's big like Cincinnati. Thankfully, Vitamin Water's new zero sugar flavors like rehydrate pineapple passion fruit, squeezed lemonade, and triple X acai blueberry pomegranate are packed with essential vitamins for when you're traveling across that big city. So whatever the reason, grab a Vitamin Water today. Copyright 2025, Glass-O. Vitamin Water is a registered trademark of Glass-O.

This episode is brought to you by The Home Depot. I'm pretty happy with my room here, but there are still some things I would change. I would love to have pegboard on the wall so I could hang some more stuff. I could really use a coat of paint. I could use a couple more lights to sort of fill out. I need some stuff from The Home Depot.

And obviously the perfect gaming setup is different for every person, but whatever kind of games you like, whatever your gaming routine is, however you like to game, having exactly the right space to enjoy what you're doing. It's a luxury that you can get. And the good news is you can get everything you need to create that perfect gaming room from the

the Home Depot. They have paint, smart lights, sound dampening, foam, wall treatment stuff, furniture, decorations, organization, bins, shelves. They have everything you need. All you have to do is go to the Home Depot. It's a one-stop. You can even get it delivered to your house. I've had that. I had some stuff delivered right to my garage. It's lovely. Build your perfect gaming room with the Home Depot. Click or tap the banner to shop now.

Alright, okay, alright. We got time, we got time for a little more. Oh, good! I'm having the time of my life. I'm glad, man. My nails are chewing themselves. I'm gonna put another rule that you can't put just curse words in there, but I still like that one. Alright, here we go. Speak now, or forever hold your peace. Speak right now.

I have two words in my vocabulary! I already fucked it up! Wait, what?

What did you add? You just added fucking somewhere in the sentence. I sure did. You speak right fucking now or forever hold your big... Man, I forget. But man, I'm going to start penalizing if you don't... If you say the same... Add the same words every single round. Well, it's too late because we're at the end of the episode, bitch. Nope. One more. Come on. Dammit!

Come on, come on, one more. One more, alright, this'll be easy. Oh, okay. Alright, stop, drop, and roll. Stop, then drop, and roll. Fuck, I hate it so much. Stop, scream, then drop, and roll. Stop, scream, then drop, and fast roll.

Stop. Scream! Then drop. And make fast roll. Look how your Dracula is slowly getting a different accent. I don't fucking do Dracula, that's not my bit! Stop. Big scream! Then drop. And make fast roll. Stop. Big scary scream! Then drop. And make fast roll. Stop.

BIG SCARY SCREAM! Then... Slowly drop... And make big ro- FAST ROP!

Okay, you messed it up anyway. I was like, "Ahh, right, we'll call it there." Okay. I thought you were gonna take that one and just be like, "Keep going. Stop, flop, like, drop, and roll." That's what I was gonna do! Stop, mop, flop, drop and roll, screep, you know, but anyway. I like where he goes. Oh, good job, guys. I like big fuckin'... Big. Fuckin'. Fast. I went slow! I went opposite! Oh, that's right, that's right. It was a drop.

I love that. Thank you guys so much. That was very funny. I could do that. I could listen to that all day. I couldn't do it all day, I'm sure, but I could listen to that all day.

Very entertaining. Alright, so I don't think the points are gonna be any surprise. What does that mean? I was so funny. I had to have gotten some funny points. You got a funny point. Actually, you did. Wait, you got point for a suck back question, which is like the mountain next to Brokeback Mountain. And you got best month question mark. It was bad, penis penis. Literally, that's what's written there.

Uh, "Bath Sand Beyond", you got the first point. Uh, "You Stop Right There", funny, you got a funny point. "Little Shit Ass", speak right fucking now. "Bob, You Liked the Correct Season", which is fall. "You Love Windows 11", uh, "Tall Fun for Big Ball", "I Conquered Fuck", "I Drink Therefore I Spam", "I'll Quickly Snuff", "Rust to Bust", "Little Shit Knob", "Houston, Bro",

and shit or stinking fucking stop scream roll. It really tells a story of how we're... You said fucking bro. We got a fake juice box Newton trace element problem. All right, got bad. I'm going to tell you the score before we go into the wheel. Bob, you have 12. Wade, you have 8.

Can we get a four on a D3? I think Wade has a couple options. We could either do a lot of bonus points or Wade could throw his fate to the mercy of the coins.

I'm not even sure what you would throw. I was thinking to myself, I feel like there were a lot of judge misses today, which is pretty much equal on both of our sides, honestly. But unfair! All right, so what is the qualification here? Yeah, what's unfair? I should have 12.

That's it. So we'd be tied at 12? Either I get 12 and we're tied, or Bob gets double and has 24? I'm gonna say this. I definitely made a lot of errors. If you get this right, if all of it comes up heads, it has to all come up heads. Oh, it will. I'll put you at 11. Okay.

Because let's say, I don't think we can say you gave a better performance, but I will say that there might have been some judge mishaps. If you get this all right, it'll go to 11. If you get it all wrong, you go to 7. Because 7-11. That's fair. I'll get a big slurp. All right, here we go.

Oh, not mine. I got tails also. Oh. All right. Eight to twelve. We could... I think we have to roll the points ceremoniously. Can you add, like, four points? Four points for Wade? Oh, let's put a jackpot! Let's put a jackpot! Oh, okay. Let's put a jackpot. Oh, yeah! All right, all right. What's the jackpot? Double your score. Double whose score? Whoever gets it. Oh, wait. You're right. Holy shit. God damn it. Double...

Double the lowest score? Instead of jackpot, make it sudden death. It ties the score. It presents some really interesting things if that comes up, because then it could be the last one that gets spun, then it's the wheel automatically, the tie wheel, or it could bring someone up to tie, so then the next points could decide it. Oh, God, I can quit trying now that this is on the wheel. All right. The sudden death has been added, and we have...

oh boy three chances to tie it's the best outcome for wade all right listeners viewers and tie it up but that means they would tie with us you have a one in one in 33 chance of getting the everything's all tied up option that's basically one in three all right roll number one

I forgot that was on the board. All right, Wade. Yeah, Wade definitely deserves some sympathy. You lost your coin flip and there were some judging mishaps and you probably deserve the most sympathy. You know what? I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. There it is. We knew it was coming. Point four listeners.

They were due one. They were due one. We've been shitting on them a lot. They deserved a point. It's a listener kind of episode. Now tie it up and then we have to add the viewers to the win wheel. Final spin? Yike! Oh yeah, that's true. If the listeners have points, the only way for the listeners to win is to get a fucking another one. Point for listeners!

Alright! Should I re-spin that? Because normally I would disable that, but like, what are the odds? 1 in 33. Alright. This is a real third spin. .4! Oh, best looking. I need to shave my head. It's not me today. My hair is like pretty crazy. I don't know. I'm not... Get a good look at you guys.

Alright, well this isn't winning anybody any points. I'm gonna give a point to the viewers because they were looking the best. Because I couldn't decide which one of you more handsome. And you both look about the same level of put together. Alright, third time to spin. Let's give the wheel a third spin. A fifth third spin. There is technically a path for the viewers and listeners to win. It is very rare. It has to tie in.

get them either another point after the tie. Well, they have to have a point first, get the tie, be put on the wheel for the tie wheel and then hit it. That's how they win. Any episode we could theoretically give them a point. So if the listeners get into the game and then it ties, they're on the tie wheel. If it ties and then the listeners get a point,

or viewers, they win because we are tied and they get one point. If they win, one of us three will host the next episode.

We'll come up with something. We'll come up with something. All right. So at a whopping score of 12 to 9, Bob takes the win of Mark's big dumb... I should have predicted from big dumb word game. Mark's fucking big dumb work game. You can't put that in a title. Mark's fucking big fun word game. Wait, go. Mark's big fucking...

Do you guys like the rhyming version or just adding words? I think the rhyming version added a lot more chaos because you have to then catch what changes more carefully. But I kind of liked the rhyming also because you could have more, you could do more funny shit with the rhyming. Some of those were harder to, to like be funny about just adding a word and not add big or small or fast or something. Just more adjectives.

The hardest part was not being able to add anything at the start or the end. There were so many times I wanted to add something at the start or the end. I understand, but there has to be some containers. I think I like this. I would like to do it again. I'll wait a little bit. Next episode I host, I'll do the perfect crime. Thank God. Maybe a year. Give me some time.

But thank you. All right, Bob, say your final words. This was fun. Honestly, the scoreboard doesn't reflect how close it was. Wade was really close. We both put up a good fight. I think he just made the first, he blinked first one more time, a couple more times than I did. And it would have swayed the other way. The score, the score made it look worse than it was. It was fun. You did really good, buddy. You should feel proud about that.

Proud loser. Good job. All right, proud loser. What do you have to say? He had me in the first half, not going to lie, but then he had me in the second half. Good game. Well, thank you, boys. It was very fun for me, and I hope it was fun for everyone at home. Thank you so much. Hope you enjoyed it. And hey, we also had sports small talk, which doesn't happen too often. Bob will host something in the next episode.

and Wade will win eventually. On my way. You have to at some point. Thank you everyone at home. Be sure to follow the podcast or else we'll come find you. And then you'll know every time that we have a new episode out and you get to live a little longer. So that's pretty cool. So thanks. And we'll see you next episode. Podcast out.