Sometimes We Just Chat
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Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, Puppet Bob touts the driver's nirvana and denies the existence of Wade's visitors. Mournful Mark hates aqua-assisted comps, AI impersonators in a trench coat, and stapled switches. We're like Wade finally gets his Atlantean automobile, gets glared at, loves his treehouse, and DVDs. From

From boating accidents to distractible ink. Yes! It's time for Sometimes We Just Chat. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hello and welcome to another episode of a podcast! Nobody likes it. Oh. What? My name is Bob and I will be your host because I won the last one fairly and squarely and not at all by random chance because we outlawed random chance in the constitution that we made and when we were in the hot tub with the boat. You know, things that make sense. My competitors for today... The boat episode! We've forgotten!

Oh, we do have to do the biennial. Yeah, that's true. Oh, no. Wait, are we abiding by because it was biannual would be every two years and we meant every other. No, what? Yeah, we did. That was technically last summer. We did the boat episode and we did realize that we don't want it to be twice a year. We want it to be the other kind of biannual twice a month.

Wade. Oh boy. As soon as that car gets fished out from the bottom of the ocean, you should buy a boat to go get that. And then we'll take, we'll have that. That'll be our boat. I got a funny story about Wade's car. I also have that same funny story. You mean...

This my car? Nice AI photo, Wade. Nice job. Who photoshopped you into there? Because I know you don't know how to do that. You're right. I don't know how to do that. I have a real car. It looks terrible. You look way balder than that. Yeah, that makes you look really stupid. That's a real photo. Keep telling yourself that, and we'll believe you.

Okay. I don't think I need to say it, but small talk. We start with small talk. Which will be mostly, I think, making fun of Wade for his stupid decision to buy a car that already fell to the bottom of the ocean. It certainly has. And he's never going to actually see in real life. I want to confirm 100% that Wade's car was sunk in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. He didn't even know where Germany was when he ordered it. And so they sent it and it's at the bottom of the ocean aboard the

Bob, you have the name? The USS Enterprise. It's a very official ship. No, you didn't see there. Actually, there was an article last night about a cargo ship that had cars on it that had capsized and caught fire. The Zodiac Maritime ship carrying 3,000 cars, 800 EVs, caught fire and had to be abandoned. The cars and EVs are burning on board as we speak.

That explains why Wade's never going to get his car, I guess. Literally already have it. Had it for a week now. Your car's burning off the coast of Alaska right now. I'm sorry. If you have your car, aim your camera at it right now. Yeah, I thought so. Huh? Come on, show us. Show us the car.

It's not in my office. Oh, he doesn't want to pan around because of all the poop water he's like knee deep in. Wade's existence is wading through his own feces and not owning any red BMWs. I don't know how to respond to this. Show us the car. That's all you have to do. Show us the car. You guys want to come over? Can you even show us a real picture of the car? Show you a different picture of the car? No, I said a real picture of the car.

That's not real. I mean, they're... That one's not real. He needs time for it to generate. Hold on. Let him generate his cars. Oh, I'm trying to get the same color red so it looks the same. Oh, that's not... What? Sorry. Yeah, see? It can't even produce a second picture. He's just trying to distract us with dogs for some reason.

Clearly fake. That actually looks like the most Photoshopped picture of a car I've ever seen. It looks like a thumbnail I've made. It's real.

Anyway, Mark, tell us something that's actually happening. You know how a while ago I was like, water cooling is great and not that scary? You know the bell curve that's like, stupid people are like, water cooling is dumb. And it's like, water cooling is great. And then the smart people at the end are like, water cooling was never a good idea. Water cooling is not a good idea. Oh no. I hate that shit so hard. I've had so many leaks. Catastrophic shit. I can't tell you how much that stuff sucks. You end up spending...

just about as much as you've spent on the computer equipment to robustly do it. It takes so many fucking hours to put it all together. And then I realized someone did this where they took like an old graphics cards, like a 90, nine 80, like this is from like eight years ago. And they stuck a CPU cooler on the top of it. And it broke records for like the highest overclocked in terms of like that graphics cards on one benchmark. And it's like, man, air cooling just is better.

It just is. You don't have to deal with fucking water. Water and electronics were never meant to mix. No immersion cooling. Oh, he's going back to globbers salts. Wait. I'm gonna dunk it in globbers. I have more, but I'll let Wade talk more about his fake car. Yeah, you got any other made up stuff you want to talk about, Wade? I like to drive it. How was it to drive your car? Was it fun? Yeah.

Did you enjoy that? Yes, but the very first time I drove it, I don't buy many cars. I've only ever bought two. Oh, we know. Whenever you go to purchase a car, you go through the whole process, right, of like... Wait, I don't know what your process is of buying a car, so I don't know where the instructions are coming from here, because you seem to have gone down some back alley from the dark web. I'm going to give you my experience. My experience was fine.

Up until the point where it's like, you meet the banker. It's like the deal or no deal guy. You go into the room and the guy's like, I take your money. Do you want one of these 50,000 options? You mean the finance guy? They had my car inside. Like it was inside their showroom or whatever type area. And someone moved it outside. I finished up all of the signage.

signings and paying, whatever. Go outside. Some dude I've never seen before, talked to before, and then the guy I originally talked to to buy the car. Both walk me out, and then they just look at me expectantly as I'm getting in the car. And cars are very different now than they were back in 2015 when I bought my last one. There's a lot more technology and stuff in them. It used to be like you literally just plugged your phone into the lighter conduit if you wanted to listen to your music. It was a bit more...

Okay, say what you just said again, but... Do it in a voice like this, and I'll start every sentence with back in my day. Hey, my first car had a tape cassette player. And you had to get the cassette with the little cord on it you put in there and connect it to your CD player to listen to your CDs.

And then the next one, you had a CD player. Oh, fancy putting your disc in. Where does it go? Did you have to get the little CD with the little cord on it so you could put it in there? Oh, I didn't have that fancy one. But I did have the old lighter for smoking, and you had a little charger you could plug into the lighter there. Oh, magic play music. Yeah, they still have that one. That actually still exists. Now they've got their...

Bluetooth and their USBs and their USB-Cs and their USB-DDs and it's like, I don't know what I'm playing with while I'm trying to drive. I'm going to look up USB-DD and if this isn't porn, I'm going to be very upset. It's definitely porn. It's 100% porn. Nah, nah, it's not porn.

Maybe one of you guys' search histories are compromised enough, but I'm not getting anything. I'm not going to try, because mine might be. Anyway, I got outside. I was adjusting my seat and electronics and everything, and I was... The two dudes are just standing next to me, and this is a convertible, so the top is down. And I was like, I don't want you to watch me adjust my seat mirrors...

You could have slowly put the top up, you know? Yeah, I didn't. Maybe they were expecting a tip? Do you tip these people traditionally? How does that work? After what I paid for this car, they weren't getting a tip. God, no. So instead of getting my stuff all where I wanted it to, I was tired of them watching me, so I was like, alright, thanks. And I drove off. And at this point, I couldn't see because I was sitting so high up that the top of the windshield was where your sun flap was.

far so you crash into a semi no there's another parking lot across the street so i just drove over there and then got all my stuff where i wanted to but i was driving through the parking lot i was like holly if there's anything i might hit tell me i can't see she's like what do you mean you can't see i was like i just had to get away

it's still true all you have to do is look at Wade and not talk to him and that is the most uncomfortable a person could be in the universe god there were two of them doing it like I could tell they both wanted to go inside I wanted them to go inside but they were like oh we gotta stand here until he leaves and I was like I gotta go I gotta get the

fuck out of here well these guys did the whole transaction with you in theory if it did in fact happen one of them did not i don't know what one of them was he appeared with a like a to-go bag that had like a bmw hat a little mini car some stickers and stuff he was just like there you go pal enjoyed i was like thanks guy i've never spoken to who are you did you talk to him did you ask him no i

Maybe he's like the manager or I'm sure if you had talked to him, he would have said something. No, he had glasses and like some stubble. Oh, some stubble. Right. I know that guy. It's a glasses of stubble. I was a scare. I was a scared. I was a scared. I was a scared of Gordon Freeman, like scares the piss out of this guy here. God. Yeah. You know, Gordon Freeman, Gordon Freeman. Anyone getting that? Yeah. Half-life. Half-life guy. Half-life. Yeah. Kind of goatee stubble situation.

Remember when I think of Half-Life, I don't think of Gordon Freeman first, I think of like the old scientist who's like the first guy like, "Gordon!" "Get away from the beam!"

Anyway, that was my car buying experience. It was fine. It actually really smooth. So we know this never happened. Okay. Because that's not how you got your car. It was on a boat that sank. You swam down to get it out and you drove it out from Atlantis. I thought it was on a boat that sank. Thankfully, it was not. And someone on the subreddit will provide a picture that is just as realistic as yours of this occurrence that I'm describing.

So we won't know what to believe. Subreddit, get on that. Defend me. I've never said that before in my life. I don't know if you have. Specifically, subreddit, defend me. Maybe you haven't said. Subreddit, re-drown me. Subreddit, put Wade's car in Guam. It's a convertible. All the Guam's getting in. It probably was. It probably was Guam. Isn't Guam a place? I'm thinking guacamole. Which one's which? Oh, same thing.

Sorry, Guam. Guam's going to be real pissed when they hear this. He called us guacamole. Wade called you guacamole, just to be clear.

This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime. You know what I got into recently? Pens. You just find them on Amazon. They're just out there. And pens is not a weird thing to be interested in, so don't say that. Me? Been Prime Video. Then in the last, like, two weeks, I was like, you know what I need to do? I need to watch every war movie ever made. I love war movies.

Whatever it is, Prime helps you get more out of whatever passions you're into or getting into. Head to Amazon.com slash Prime and follow your obsession wherever it goes.

so yeah no i don't like the car buying experience either having actually bought vehicles in my life so i think that there has to be a better way and i think we're not sponsored by them at all but i've never bought from carmax before any kind of like service like that but from what i've heard it's much more like you look at the price online you go there that's the price there's nothing else to it oh

You have a trade in, they tell you what they'll give you before you get there. It's not the, hey, I can only give you half of what the actual estimate is. And I'm, okay, you don't like that. I'm going to go stand around the corner and look at a wall for 15 minutes. And then I'll be back with a slightly higher number.

And I swear that's all they're doing because I don't hear any conversation. It's a big echoey room. There's no doors on any of the offices. I can hear when people are talking. They ain't talking. Anyway, so it's... I don't want to ever buy a car like that ever again. And I don't think I will if there's another option. I will say...

CarMax does basically work the way that you said, but the downside is that they just really could not fucking care less about whatever is happening. So if you buy a car and like it comes with some kind of warranty generally, right? Like, but if you buy a car and Mandy had this experience where she bought her first car, she bought from CarMax and it was a nice little car, very like simple, but it came with the radio in it.

And the radio was functional, but broken in a way where like it had this weird sound phasing thing. It's like hard to describe even. But if you're listening to it for a while, you'll hear it and it will drive you slowly insane. They were supposed it was supposed to be covered and she would did a whole song and dance with them and they did not fix shit. Like she even like took it in and they were like, oh, we'll fix it. And then they looked at it and they were like, that's fine. We didn't fix anything because it's not broken. And that was it. I don't know if it's worth it.

to go to a dealer that will try and address your issue, especially if you're buying a nicer car like Wade's.

car he bought. I've always been curious about like the, again, not sponsored or affiliated in any way, but like Carvana and those sites where it's like you buy an online site unseen and they deliver it to your house. I don't think I could trust that. I don't even like doing that with food and I don't really care that much about food. A car that costs as much as cars cost, it just shows up at your house and the guy's like, well, sign this paper and it's yours. And I'm like, well, does it turn on?

How does it... How do I know? How do I trust you, car door dash driver? I'm car dash. Car dash. Yeah. No, I didn't even know that was a thing, but in a way, it makes sense to do that. Like, they deliver the car. Why do I... If I need a car, how do I get to the car place...

you should get me the car because it can go places. I know, but then you didn't even like sit in it before you bought it. It's like, that'd be like buying clothes without trying them on. Couldn't do it. You don't buy clothes, so it's not really an issue that comes up for you. I buy clothes like Wade buys cars. Sure. We're the same. That's what I was thinking. Mark bought new underwear. Wade bought a car. You guys are the same. Same.

Let me tell you, this is a brave year to get a convertible though, because cicadas are nuts right now. You keep bringing that up. I was talking about that the other day with Mandy, because it's been nice out and we've been in the yard or at the park with James like every day, basically, unless it's like thunderstorming. We're outside. I have not seen a

a single fucking cicada. And I looked and I know that what you're saying is correct. But how the shit are we who live 25 minutes away from you not seeing any cicadas

at all. I don't understand. Come on down, man, because all the trees around the base of the tree is just covered in shells. There's still shells all over each of the trees. Like even part of our wall has shells on them. You can't walk through the grass without seeing like one crawling around. Presley was trying to eat one the other day driving on like the highway. There's a big old splat in the middle of my new windshield where one dove down. But also like I was watching the way that they're flying on the highway and I had the top

down and I was like maybe I should put the top up because they were just dive bombing everyone's like if one of these hits me in the eye while I'm driving I'm gonna freak out and die it's not a good thing to have happen that happened to Jeremy Clarkson once on top gear looked very unpleasant

It's very loud, too. They are so loud. That's so I'm just so confused because I told that to Mandy and she was like, no, there can't be. We don't have any. Can't be a 17 year brood of cicadas. Apparently there is. Is she like that doesn't exist or? Well, if she knows about that, right, we grew up with that in Ohio. But she was like, well, there clearly isn't because there is not a single cicada anywhere to be seen. And we've seen the 17 year brood of cicadas and it's crazy.

It's like we live in two different parts, like two different continents or something. I don't understand. It's just fucking weird. I feel like a cicada truther. Like you're like, yeah, the cicadas are here. And I'm like, there's not a single one. It's full of shit. I could go out and catch like 30 of them in about 10 to 15 minutes pretty easily. Also, they make a different noise in the trees when they're just like up there. Like, I don't know what they do, whatever that noise is.

When they fly by your head, like one flew right by my head. I jumped. It sounds like a banshee scream almost. Like they have a terrifying like...

As they pass by your head really closely. Okay, this guy's got gargoyles. I don't think he has a key. Between the car story and now this about the demon cicadas that are attacking his dogs. What's going on? Wade's just making stuff up. Are you a pathological liar? No, it's true. Did you lose your hair and your sense of integrity? I have hair. Some.

Thank you. Just like he has some integrity. But all of it's on your lower parts. Those are integral. Which is not a good thing for integrity, tell you that. All right. I don't know where we're going with this, I gotta be honest. I have a tech update. Oh. Not for me, this is general. Have you ever had $10,000 sitting in your pocket that you just wanted not there anymore? Oh, all the time, probably.

Probably. I like having that. Would you rather have a graphics card instead? Yes. A graphics card? One $10,000 graphics card? Oh, man, with a diamond one? Oh, no, it's a...

no okay i gotta tell you it's astonishing what nvidia i would say thinks they could get away with but they're actively getting away with it gets away with pricing their cards at just because of the ai craze it's unbelievable they just released a one called the rtx pro 6000 blackwell edition oh sure all right and what attracted you to this nothing attracted me i'm not buying this he said it's not about him he

He did say that. I just didn't believe that. We're saying the ridiculousness of it. This is an absurdity. Oh, okay. Is it as good as five graphics cards or what's the deal with this? No, not at all. Okay, so if you have a Ford, I've said this before, the 5090 generation was not worth the upgrade. The 4090 was such a big leap from the 3090. You could stick with the 4090. It's the new 1080 TI of this generation. The 4090 is going to live as like, this is the card you get it. If you can get it at a used price, get it.

it's a good card and it's gonna last you years this one is 30 faster i'm not a numbers guy but i'm just gonna go out on a limb and say that it does not cost in fact 30 more no oh you're saying the 10k one is 30 yeah the 10k one is 30 faster than the 4090 or three or four times the price that's good if

If it was the subsequent generation and was basically at the same price point for a new series of card. Yeah, yeah. Is there some other thing about this? It has more VRAM. Is it organic or something? Why is it? Oh, it's straight out of Jensen's ass. He just squatted down, shat out this card, $10,000, which is, I think, the equivalent of what he's doing nowadays.

with the price. There's a quote online where he's just like at an actual conference being like saying these exact words, the more you buy, the more you save. That's the exact quote. And he says it multiple times. The more you buy, the more you save. He thinks Nvidia is big lots. What is this? Admittedly, the 4090 has 24 gigs of RAM. This card is 96. That's a nice jump if you need that. And the only reason you would need that is AI. There

They're targeting this at AI for AI enterprise applications where these companies have literal millions and billions of dollars and are like, how do we spend more money? And so they'll buy anything if it's even slightly better because they're desperate to compute whatever random crap their AI stuff is trying to do.

I have one, I know it's not broken news, I know this has gone along, but I have to, I follow this up with one thing that I want to say because it's an article that I saw that is just so fucking funny. In related news, an AI company that was valued at $1.5 billion, backed by Microsoft, has filed for bankruptcy after being exposed as 700 Indian engineers in a trench coat.

One trench coat. That's pretty much, it's exactly that. This company was just 700 Indian engineers probably answering prompts live as people asked the questions.

And so $1.5 billion put into a company that was never real. They just wrote out AI on the billboard, put it out front of their building. It was like, any investors? Honestly, I'm a little surprised that hasn't already come up because in my head, there

That's definitely one of the things that all these little AI firms that keep popping up and making billions and millions of dollars in investment has to be. It has to be. Oh my God. This company, it got $455 million from Microsoft, so it led to a 1.5 valuation. It went on for eight years. What was it called? Wait, have we heard of this? It's called Builder.ai. Okay, I haven't actually heard of that, but...

I'm a finder. I'm a builder. They've been unable to recover from historic challenges and past decisions that placed significant strain on its financial position. We party too hard. We've got too many trench coats. Do you know how expensive it is to buy one trench coat that 700 of us fit into? Yeah.

You know what our trench coat budget is. Look, there's some scary things about AI for sure. There's some useful things about AI for sure. But it's a bubble. Let's not deny $10,000 graphics cards are not the solution to all of life's problems. It's just the people in the gold rush who made the most money are the ones selling the tools. And right now, Nvidia is handing out gold plated shovels to everyone. So yeah, don't buy that card. You don't need it.

You don't need it. You don't need it. Let me just cancel that. I don't know if people who actually listen to this or were in any danger of accidentally buying that card because they did think they needed it, but they might be in a purchasing department. I don't know if there are any AI executives who listen to us, get some more 40 90s and call it good. That's

That is my solution to life's problems. This is interesting. This is not a mind-blowing thought, and I'm sure lots of people are talking about this, and I'm just an idiot and haven't seen it, but the internet, the dot-com bubble, that's what it was called, right? Around the turn of the millennium, the dot-com bubble was a huge thing, and like...

I think it's worth noting there is a separation between the technology that AI is and what it represents, the dangers that it poses, the issues that it's causing, the issues with what is possible because of computational limitations and environmental limitations, blah, blah, that crap. All of that is interesting, very sci-fi. Some of it's scary. Some of it's concerning. All that is very real. But you're

Spot on, I think, that the business side is... It's another, like, dot-com bubble type thing where it's like, yeah, the technology is going to change fundamentally how, like, how jobs work, how life is for people in general going forward. It's probably going to impact almost everything, if not everything, that we experience. But the businesses are...

There's not, it's unsustainable. There is going to be like a huge bubble burst on this shit, huh? Because I'm willing to bet they're all borrowing. I guarantee you they're all borrowing like crazy, leveraging the idea that they're going to make so much money on all of these AI investments. They're going to make money hand over fist, just like NVIDIA is the person selling us the tools to make these things. We're going to be so rich. So I guarantee you there are companies that are borrowing being like, we have to keep

up because there's no way all of these companies just have that money sitting around because if i know how a company in the average american business works they don't sit on money for some fucking reason unless you're apple and then they sit on like trillions of dollars but companies don't do that they borrow everything and when they borrow things and it doesn't work out it blows up

up and so it's gonna blow up calling it now this is my honey prediction this is my honey seven years from now this is the new markiplier honey clip that goes around i'm telling you it's so simple people want something they can't get it because they don't have the money in their pockets they go to someone who does have money and they go like come on let me borrow the money

I just watched Uncut Gems. And so just last night, I'd never seen it before. And no spoilers, but there's a lot of money borrowing going on and not a lot of paying it back. And so for most of the time, it's like, that's what's going on. A company goes to company B is like, are you pleased?

Give me some money! And they're like, why? I was like, I'll pay you back. Double! And they're like, well, shit. Here you go. Oh, I don't have enough money. Hey, hold on. Come on, give me money. He's going to give me double. I'll give you double. And then it's a chain of doubling. And that's double the debt all the way down. And that's why money is infinite and everyone is wealthy. Thank you, Mark. Boo-hoo!

That's it. Do you guys keep up with celebrities? They're all pretty fast compared to me, I guess, but I wouldn't know specifically. There's been some drama between a couple of well-known celebrities. Ellen and Troump have had a breakup, a public breakup recently. I don't know if you guys have seen that. Fun news. I've never heard of them called Troump before, but sure.

true i don't know i'm not gonna get like into the politics of it all but it's really funny there's politics in there it's just really funny to watch because like elon's saying all this crap about him and it's like doesn't that mean you knew this before five days ago when you were fine with it it was fine back then it's not so fine now

It's been really funny to watch. I don't know about funny. It was kind of funny, but yeah. Funny in like a world is ending kind of way. I'm trying to look at the memes more than the news around it, but I don't think it's as funny for everyone as it is for some people. It's a very nasty breakup. It's very reality TV. It is. Which makes sense given who these people are, but like... And that it's reality, yeah. Couldn't we just hit the reset on this and try again?

You may not like the reset. What if they're both AI, meaning they're both just 700 people in a trench coat each? That's all AI is. We've proved it. My car is real. I've proved that. Oh, yeah. Okay. All of this is AI, but your car. You showed us a picture of a dog and complained about the car buying process, but you couldn't even tell us the name of the person that sold you the car. Tim? No. Tim.

Tim. Tim Salisman. Just like Tim Apple sells you apples, Tim Carr sells you cars. Tim W. Tim W. Okay. Tim W. Tim W. Bush. You know, we know him. Carr Salesman. Twitch 2 came out. Twitch 2? Twitch 2 came out. New streaming site, everybody. Now you pay $30 to sub and the streamer gets $1. Twitch 2. We haven't covered gaming news in a while, so...

I mean, we can just do that. I have a topic today, but like, we can just, we have, we need like reset episodes every once in a while. I don't know what it is, but there is like a cycle of, we kind of just need to like shoot the shit completely randomly every once in a while for an episode. I kind of forgot we were even doing an episode. I was just talking. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you see the GameStop that had been stapling receipts to the front of the box and going right into the Switch 2 screen? No! So they would print out when they had orders, like...

They were prepping for pickup the day of. It was so humid that the tape wouldn't stick to the box. They're like, we'll just staple it. Ka-chunk! Right in the front. Ka-chunk! So everyone get home and there's a big staple in the front. Now, this is a Swiss cheese of failure situation because usually when you get an electronic, the screen is face down inside the box to protect it. The screen was in the box only face up and like just that front piece of cardboard was the only thing separating it.

So it was like six millimeters from getting completely destroyed by whatever happened to touch that box of a switch. Bold choice. Interesting choice. But yeah, so they have to pull in inventory from other stores and that manager's the manager said, I think, oh man, I might get fired for this.

Might. But he did a great promotion for Staples and they might hire him on. Is Staples still around? I don't know. The one near me actually just shut down recently and I got a bunch of stuff at like 50% off or more, but now it doesn't exist. Staples have avoided formal bankruptcy. All right. Nice. Nice. There's a few of them around still. I hadn't seen that story. That's ridiculous.

really funny. I hadn't either. That hurts me in ways I didn't expect it to. But as a non-gamer, I don't have a Switch 2 yet. Do either of you have one? No, I didn't get one. I am not buying one. No? I don't ever... I never used the first one. Nintendo is stinky. Like, I like Nintendo's games, and I really want to play the new Mario Kart and all this stuff, but like... I'll just buy other video game stuff. I mean, it's not exclusively them, but...

the switch games are 80 base now like we've talked about that before and like people don't like my game price opinion yeah people don't like them it's fine i'm just not giving nintendo my money it's not worth that much to me i think it stinks but i'm sure it'll be good i'm sure that the new mario kart's very good and i'm probably gonna watch videos about it because i'm curious i just don't

play it very often i got a handheld steam deck i got the switch to the original switch and i just don't use them enough to justify it hey look at this nintendo switch 2 shipping issues reports are emerging nintendo switch 2 screens being punctured and damaged in shipping

Because for some reason they're boxed the way that Mark described them, where the screen is facing the thin cardboard box exterior for some reason. I don't know what's going on with Nintendo over the past few years because they've always been very flip floppy about Let's Plays, right? They've always been like, we hate them. No, it's good. And then instantly ban every one of them. Claim all of them.

take them down is so they've always been iffy about video content but it just feels like their entire organizational structure is shifting over the years because this would be a no-brainer for anyone who's ever done any kind of packaging for electronics right if it's face up for the experience of looking at it you put something protective on top of it in the packaging and you make the packaging very sturdy this seems nonsensical that they do drop tests on packaging that they

do that. They're supposed to do that. Yeah, that had to come up, right? Yeah, it would have come up, but it didn't. Why didn't it? The original Game Boy, I think, came out in 89. So they've been doing handhelds for quite a while. You'd think they'd know how to box them by now. This isn't even, this is a main console release. I mean, handheld for sure. It's definitely still handheld and meant to be, but it's like, this is their flagship console. Like, what in the hell?

Nintendo's always been a weird company. They've got some of the best and most popular games, but like, I remember when Super Mario Maker, I think 2 was, came out, and like, they had the multiplayer featured. I was like, oh man, I went to record it, and it was like...

Dial-up internet, but worse? Don't get me started on Nintendo's online gaming stuff. Holy cow. How does it so bad? It's still like playing online video games in 1993 when you play Nintendo stuff. It's unbelievable. One of the list of many things I think is ridiculous is other consoles, Microsoft and Sony, you can use, I believe, you can use Discord on them now, right? Nintendo invented their own...

voice chat over the network thing that just is just coming out on the Switch 2 in 2025. It's like, there's a whole litany of things, but holy crap, is it annoying to try and play online crap on Nintendo? And I don't understand. Now, I will say I looked up an unboxing video of the original Switch. That also is face up.

So it's not that this hasn't happened before. It might be that the screen is more delicate or something like that. So it has been face up. But for me, I'm like, why wouldn't that be face down? I just feel like it should be. I'm thinking through things on things I've unboxed, like Apple products, iPads, iPhones generally are smartphones.

screen up. That's true. That's true. They still do it as there's like a phone screen up and then there's like the cardboard sleeve that has like the manual whatever term

Terms of service stuff. And then there's the box. But Apple boxes are fucking indestructible. I don't know what they make them out of. They're like plastic hard cardboard hybrid something. I tried to cut one up recently because I was like, I'll get rid of this box. I don't need to keep every box I own. And it was like, I couldn't fucking cut it with a knife. That's not how the Nintendo packaging is, because I do remember how the switch packaging was. It's like normal cardboard. Like it has that like thicker packaging.

paper layer on the outside so it feels a little nicer but it's just cardboard i guess maybe they want the customer experience to be opening it up and seeing the beautiful console facing them seeing the beautiful staple sticking directly into the screen of your brand new 500 console you just bought look at this web of cracks like oh it's so beautiful i just wish i i don't want to know but i also do want to know how many staples went through screens i would imagine dozens probably

That manager's so fucking fired. There are times when managers getting fired makes total sense. There are also times when it doesn't make sense. I used to work at Micro Center, as people at Micro Center like to remember, at that specific Micro Center that I can never go back to anymore.

But one time there was a guy that stole an iMac or something like that, like an Apple desktop, way back when. And then the manager in charge of that area had to be walked out by security. And I'm looking at that and I'm like, what was he supposed to tackle the guy? Like, I don't understand how this is... Yeah, wait, he got walked out because the theft happened while he was in charge? Yeah, and I believe the circumstances was he had brought out it...

Cause the guy was like, I'm going to buy it. So he brought it out from the back and he like set it on the counter. Cause each one has their own zones, but the checkouts up front. So I think the way it's supposed to go is he's supposed to walk that product to the front. And I think he turned his back for a second. The guy snatched it and ran. And I'm like, but you're walking the manager out with security as like, what is he going to do? Well,

What is this? Like, what's the point of this? That guy had worked there for years. It's like the value of someone who has that much experience in a role. I don't care if it's just selling things. Like, he's been there for years. He's pretty good at what he does. And you have to get someone new for that role. And like, there's no accounting for mistakes. The stapling thing is just dumb.

That's negligent and should have thought through that a little bit. I think that there was definitely some reason there. The stapling thing is funny to me because it's like, I guess their point was they needed to attach the receipt to the Switch and that was the way they were keeping track of stuff.

I would never ever, if I was selling an expensive product to a customer, be like, let me just fuck some holes in this brand new box of this thing you spent a whole bunch of money on. I wouldn't even want to tape shit to the box because if I'm getting something that I'm collecting and I get home and I'm carefully peeling and then you peel the tape off and it goes and the Nintendo logo on your Switch box is fucked up and you're like, what? That would be...

I would never, ever staple into a thing like that, but... Gamers don't keep boxes. Woo, is he crazy? Only goofy-ass millennials keep boxes for electronics, apparently. We grew up with boxes. We had to have our CDs. Our CDs with the cords on them. You know, so it's a little yo-yo of like, hey, what's up? Oh, man, I remember...

When I was a teenager, I don't know if Blockbuster was still a thing, but I remember going and buying DVDs and I was like, God, I'm going to have such a big DVD collection. It's going to be worth so much one day whenever everyone's like wanting to watch this fancy new generation movie. And then like two years later, it was like all the different streaming services. And very quickly, my DVD collection became obsolete. It's not obsolete. It's very solite.

It's so sweet. Thank you. It is. Someday that'll be very useful because CD is Zuki for there. They're one of the medias that actually does last a very long time. I'm not sure how long, how long.

30 to 100 years. So not forever, but pretty good. Better than VHS for sure. And when all the streaming services take down all the movies, you'll still have a copy of it. So in the next 10 years, I should start getting rid of them. That's what he said, basically, yeah. 30 years or so? 30 to 100, man!

Well, I gotta go on the men just in case, you know. I should staple some things to them to make sure I know what year I got them. I was totally reminded by something nostalgic just recently that I'd completely forgotten this part of my life about. Amy and I, we were walking the dogs and she mentioned yo-yo at some point. And I had entirely forgotten that in my childhood, I became really good at yo-yo tricks. I had completely, like I could do like the cradle and I had one of those action like

spring powered uh yo-yos oh those were the shit that was a thing for a while everyone wanted the cool yo-yo but it was so long ago i had forgotten that i had spent hours and hours practicing these yo-yo tricks and i think i still could do some of them now but at this point that was like 20 plus years ago and it was just so washed out my mind and i just like unlocked an old core memory of like

fuck I used to do that I can do that you know what came up recently this might be more of a me thing and this is something that is still done in parts of the world that are not where I live but did you guys ever have those it was it was a set of sticks it was two short sticks and one long stick and you like toss the stick back and forth between the sticks and you could do like tricks you could like spin a stick around or like toss it in the air and

I know what you're talking about, but no, I didn't have that, but I know what you're talking about. I got some of those one year for like a birthday or Christmas. I sticked it up.

I was tricking those sticks so hard. Man, well, I got to order some of these to see if I still... I'm going to order a yo-yo. If you order the sticks, maybe in an episode, we'll see that. There's like new yo-yo tech. What the fuck? Wade, we need to find a thing for you, Wade. What's your childhood thing you got really good at? Bop it? Bop it?

Get a bop-it. They make a super bop-it now with like 20 bops. New bop-its are wild. Yeah, I was an OG bop-it. I had the pull-it, twist-it bop-it. That was it. I swear to God, I had the original bop-it and then I had the, I had the like expanded bop-it with like the main thing and four things on the outside. And I used to be able to do like pretty, like I'm not a world record holder, but like I was pretty happy with it. I would do...

into the 40s into the 50s like pretty fast i got the new one i forget why we got it at some point and i got it out and i was like all right i remember bop it and i like started it and it was like bop it good twisted oh and i was like whoa what the fuck what the shit do you you gave me like a quarter of a second to react what the fuck turns out i'm i'm just old now and slow apparently but i

I swear to God, I used to be good at Bop It. So now I can't fucking Bop It. You just gotta do some training. You'll get back. You just gotta get back in Bop It shape. I got like six as my best on this thing. It's fucking impossible. This one called the Yo Mega Fireball looks familiar, but then there are these other ones that are like titanium. They look like just two cones going in. Fireball is definitely one of the ones where I was like, oh, if only I could get a Fireball. That would be the one. That would be great.

That'd be good. I'm going to get one of those. Is that a narrow channel one? Or is that the one where the inside is like...

conical so it's like a wider channel sort of deal that's the other one the other ones the conical ones those are like the ones i see that are like titanium trick uh they've got a bearing in the center well that's just cheating half the skill of yo-yo was tying the knot around the thing in the middle of the yo-yo so that it was correct and would spin adequately i'm also going to buy one called the cheat code yo-yo so uh i'm not really too

I don't have much honor at this point in my life. I'm just going to get them. You get one that has AI where it does the tricks for you. A bearing in the middle makes so much sense how some of these yo-yo people do some of the shit that you can watch videos of where you're like, how the fuck do they all have bearings in the middle? Is that the whole thing? I don't know. The ones I had never did. It's that little metal, little metal axle in there. I haven't looked at a yo-yo in so long. You had to grease the axle and you had to twist the strings so that it was...

It's a whole thing. I will not be doing this now, but the Razor Scooter craze where everyone had to have a Razor Scooter and then you did really stupid things on them like try grinding on your stone wall your mom has and destroying the rocks and causing a lot of damage or ramping off of staircases and stuff. I will not be trying that at my age now because I will die, but I remember doing a lot of stupid things on the Razor Scooters. I used to take my...

a PlayStation or my PlayStation 2, whatever I had at the time. I used to put it like a plastic bag you get from the grocery store, ride it on my scooter to my friend's house to set it up and play over there.

It's pretty cool, man. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. That's pretty cool. I was way late. I got this when I was in like high school, which was way after razor scooters were cool. But I remember I got one and it had a wheelie bar and a grinding plate on it. So it had like waxy grinding edges and it had low profile wheels. I fucking rode the wheels up. I put two new sets of wheels on that son of a bitch. Damn.

I was that kid who was riding a scooter like a scooter six or seven years after it was cool so everyone else's razor was like sitting in the garage collecting spider webs and I was like it's still cool right guys you want to come scoot

Yeah. Yeah. I remember somebody, I don't know how they did it. The wheels were like, I don't know if they were plastic, what they were made of. But I remember someone, I don't know if they break too hard or what they did, but one of their wheels just had a flat part of it. If you, if you locked up your brake, you could flat spot your wheels, which was really tough. Cause there's nothing you could do about it. Once that material is gone, unless you're like,

shaving down the whole rest of the wheel the whole thing yeah i don't remember the solution they did was probably had to get a whole new scooter replace the wheel or something but just got a bumpy ass scooter for the rest of your life then a razor scooter craze that was the same era whenever uh my friend and i tried to make a tree house in one of our neighbor's yards and he didn't like that very much that was that same time period turns out if you drag a bunch of sticks and logs into someone else's yard and start building a mess in their trees wait what yeah what

We had a neighbor who had like a line of pine trees on the street. We were like, we could put a pretty cool tree house in those pine trees. So we brought all of the sticks and logs from our houses to their yard and just started putting them in their trees. We didn't even know this neighbor. This wasn't even like a neighbor that we were cool with. Were you like hammering nails in and shit? Or were you just like leaning them up against the trees? Like, ah, yeah, totally.

That'll hold. This was we climbed up in the pine tree, handed up a stick, laid it across. We're like, yeah, that's safe. That'll hold us. God damn. We got yelled at and banished from the yard before we died to our shitty treehouse. This was so this was an adult neighbor. This wasn't like the neighbor's kid who was like, I was going to do that. Oh, yeah, yeah. This was this was this was just someone who lived like four or five houses down from each of us that none of us had ever met or talked to. We were just like, yep, their yard is our treehouse.

Kids do smart stuff, man. I feel like we have an episode about that. All right,

all right but seriously i'm gonna buy those sticks whatever the fuck those things are called mark's gonna buy a bunch of yo-yos we need something for you wayne i ain't buying shit we need something for you what are you gonna do what were you good at and it can't be jerking off i was really good at eating 1998 burger king's chicken tenders okay i'm gonna order you as many 1998 burger king chicken tenders as i can find online dude if there's a place that still sells them i don't think you want to eat them

They did them right back then. Yeah, they probably aren't toxic, but I bet they're not very pleasant to consume. They did it right back then. There's got to be a deposit somewhere, like a bag that hasn't been thrown away. Yeah.

If you don't give us something that you're going to do, I'm just going to buy a raccoon and a tree and a stick and have you reenact the stick tree incident. I was good at putting a lot of cheat codes into PlayStation 1 games. That's pretty cool. Was there a GameShark for that or was it just putting in the codes? Some of them there were, but you didn't have to have them for like Twisted Metal. I don't think you had to have it. It was literally just like at a menu, you would do like the left, right, up, down, whatever, and then press something to unlock a character. I don't think there was there were some characters like

Oh god, the memories I'm unlocking. Like, I think it was Darktooth, which was like the bigger, scarier, sweet tooth. You had to have a GameShark to play as Darktooth. But to

But to play as Minion, where I got my username. No, you didn't have to have a game shirt for that. There used to be entire websites dedicated to just telling people cheat codes. Remember Cheat CC? Cheat Code Central? Oh, yeah. You used to go print out sheets of codes and then just keep those in the basement by the game systems and be like, ah, here's the codes for this game. Let's put some in. There was a time when I called my dad to look up cheat codes for Duke Nukem 3D on the N64. Oh.

And he told us over the phone and we wrote him down really specifically. And then when they worked, we were like, oh,

It was great. I remember like the computer lab at school and there was a printer in it, but you weren't supposed to print anything that wasn't like for school, obviously. But we used to play the game of like, I need to print this thing for class. But what if I insert a page of video game codes or something into that? And then I go grab it off the printer and I'm like, yeah, see, this is my essay I'm going to turn in.

I'm just gonna take it back to my seat and shuffle through the papers for no reason and then... Ahem. This is a whole thing that nobody, like, now can probably relate to. Oh no, they can relate to it. They can relate to it. I'm sure they could. Oh, come on. Okay. Uh-oh. Is Bob gone? Oh, Bob! Come back! What a frame, though, to leave on. That's a great frame. That's a great frame. Hello? Hello?

hey bob oh okay there we go hey man welcome back wasn't like mark where my eyes were in different directions and i was all hello what a joyous way to disappear from the internet for a minute so anyway we were talking about how old we are basically kind of yeah any other game news or anything uh you can now play a

a game within a game you can play doom inside of eve frontier oh so you know eve online wade yeah i've never played but i'm aware of it okay so apparently there's now new ways to build things inside the game i'm not exactly sure how this works but you can customize some kind of chained data parameters inside of it and they managed to program doom inside of eve so you can play

This is not video game news, but I got a very 21st century email recently that really pissed me off. Our thermostats aren't going to be thermostats anymore. The thermostats came with the house that we moved into here are first gen Google Nest thermostats. So they're like fancy. They're really cool and you can change them on your phone and they'll do schedules and all that stuff. Google is deprecating that.

that generation of Nest products. So I got an email from Google that was like, hey, those thermostats in your house that cost a lot of money and will be expensive to replace, we're not doing that anymore. So you should probably get some other ones. So...

Which is like, I think they'll still work as thermostats. Like they're on the wall physically. They will still like control the HVAC system, but none of the reason you pay extra money for fancy smart thermostats will exist anymore. Isn't that fun? Yay. The internet of things is only good. Hooray. Yippee.

I look forward to having AI thermostats that tell you no when you want to change the temperature. But I'm hot. You're not hot. But I feel hot. I have scanners. You're fine. This is the temperature. Yeah, I seriously, not to be super boomery about it, but I really do wonder why there is no longer, I mean, I'm sure you can still buy it, but it's just like the temperature.

The technology to tell the temperature, I feel like we had that down with thermometers and whatnot. And then the programming, like, I am not a programmer, but I know a little code. And I go, if number above number, do air conditioning. If number below number, do heating. I don't think that would be that complicated. I don't know why I need to send a ping every four seconds back to a central server to know exactly what to do in these cases. They gotta make more money for the shareholders. Yeah.

They're going to make more money for the shareholders. We need new thermostats. Right. Of course. Of course. You're right. You're right. What am I, stupid? The distractible shareholders. We should go public.

Ooh, Distractible IPO win. Yes, wins the IPO. We need some, we need to waffle Wall Street this son of a bitch. We could actually legitimately start selling shares privately to our fan base of Distractible. They get equity, we get their money, then when we go public, they can sell all their shares on the market, make big monies, Distractible price crashes into the ground, everything goes bankrupt, but we

Get rich. I think that's how IPOs work. It's like when you're standing on a bath mat and somebody yoinks it out from under you. We could call it a mat yoink. A mat yoink. You guys want to get in on the sweet mat yoink? You guys want to yoink this mat with us? There's a big syrup jar right now. If you get in on the syrup jar, you can get in before the mat yoink. The syrup jar?

Are these landing? I don't get syrup jar. Help me understand syrup jar. Honey pot. Honey pot. Oh! Oh, yeah! Get on the mat, everyone! Everyone on

You guys want to get out of the syrup jar, we'll get out of the mat, yoink. We're going to divide Distractable into like a billion shares, right? We got a billion shares. And then we're going to sell one share at $10, $10 billion company. I saw that on Shark Tank. That's how that works. Who wants to put in $10 into the syrup jar? What naughty little masochist out there wants to be carpet yanked? Mat yanked.

Carpet tickled. Bob, say it again. Maybe he'll get it this time. No, I'm not teaching him anything. He can learn if he wants to learn. Anyway, we should definitely do that, Mark. That's a really good idea. And I don't think anyone's had it before. All right. I want someone who has actually degrees in finance to tell us how legal and cool this idea is and how we can all be really, really, really rich. Everyone. Everyone gets rich. No one loses. No one loses. No one loses.

Money is an infinite sum game, especially in the land of Matt Yanks. Matt Yanks for president. I would vote for Matt Yanks for president. Strong name. President Yanks. That sounds like a name you can trust. I should have wrote down some points or something during this episode. I mean, I did, but this is like some Mark-level points bullshit. Well, Mark and I were talking and we decided, you know what? You did so good, you could host another one and actually do your idea since we kind of hijacked it. We have to have a winner. So you won. Ha ha ha!

You, buddy! No, that's against the Constitution. We're not doing that. Plus, I had an idea for the wheel, guys, and I stole it directly from the subreddit, but I really like it, so I'm going to call it my idea that I had for the bonus wheel. Smirch? Smirch. I'm sorry, Wade. That was mean. I apologize. Thank you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Mark, you got points for... Fuckwater. Oh, same thing. I don't remember what that was about, but you said that and it made me chuckle. The Botcom Bubble and...

being a yo-yo god. That was all the points I got. Wade, I wrote down a lot of things for you, but I don't... I might need to recount the points. Wade, you got points for getting your car, being so socially awkward that you dangerously drove away without being able to see, having cicadas and then gaslighting me about cicadas existing. DVDs are still very valuable, and that's a great collection. Razor scooter and your really, really good treehouse idea that you tried to execute.

you on your neighbor's pine trees. This is a tough one. I'm just gonna spin the wheel and see how many bonus points we're gonna get. I hope it's three. Three! Alright. This is gonna really make it interesting. It's gonna really do something, that's for sure. And then the bonus, the thing I'm going to add is surprise golf rules.

Oh, now that, yeah, because we did do sudden death wrong. We do realize that it's not, it's a tie and then the wheels are done. It's a tie right then. If it's the last one, then obviously it stays, but you would still do another wheel spin afterwards. I thought the whole sudden death thing meant it ended there to force the wheel. Sudden death just means it was, it was a way to even them out.

when they're there. I liked what we did. That's fine. If we want to agree to that, I'm okay with that, but I'll never remember it, but I liked what we did. Unless it's me, then I'm fine with it. If it's me, then I want another spin. The next one man show is going to be a tough spin. That's all I got to say about that. Anyway, three points. First spin. Let's get that viewer point out of the way real quick. Most locked.

in i feel like i was pretty locked in the whole time i feel like i was dialed in i would have argued until i got to matt you know matt see this is the thing you can't tell if it's a bit or if he just actually can't remember i really don't remember was it not matt matt tugs that wasn't it it was matt yanks yanks

Also, I just want to point out on the wheel that this one is best accent perform if necessary. It goes across the whole middle of the wheel. I think it's specifically Scottish accent. Oh, right. Best Scottish accent. You're right. If we ever land on that one, we'll know for sure. Anyway, spin number two.

Sudden death! No! What the hell? No. Well, now we have to decide which rule we go with. Look how many. Oh, man. Sudden, sudden, sudden. Wow. What the fuck is happening? I love it. I love this universe. We had a chance to change the rules. I brought it up. This means we go immediately to the it's a tie wheel. That's what we're committing to? Today. Today, yeah.

We do today until we change the rule next time. Man, I should have fucking taken Mark's offer to change that. Oh, that's getting awfully big over there. Wow, it's about to get bigger. Yeah, well, so...

It's currently at 79. What was it? 22 right now, I think. Whatever 79 out of 360 is. That is 22. So it needs to be 24%. 0.24 times 360, 86.4.

I'm going to generously round that down to 86 for myself. God damn, that looks very edging closer and closer to equal, which I love for us. We edging, bros. But hey, if you get one man show, it pops back down. Oh, good. Okay, well, I'm excited for this. I'm glad I really stuck to my guns.

on the way that we're doing the sudden death format because what are the odds that's going to happen again you know sudden death sudden death come on come on yes

I am going to win that fucking trophy this year. I swear to God. Can I just say that was a hell of a come from behind victory? How behind was I? At the end of regulation, it was six to four. Damn. So you needed to get all three bonus points to beat Wade.

But you drew the sudden death and you won it in two spins of the wheel. I guess that was the third wheel spin. It's just a different wheel. Anyway, Mark wins! Fair is fair, everybody. Fair is fair.

I literally won my hosting of this episode on that exact same scenario last episode, didn't I? What are the fucking chances of that? That means next time it's 26% chance, over one in four chance of the one man show coming up. Sure hope it's not me. There's just no way that you're going to get the sudden death thing again when you host again, Mark. That's impossible. Definitely not. Oh yeah, absolutely not.

Anyway, Mark, winner speech? I don't know how I was so behind. I feel like I really pushed forward. But hey, this is just destiny falling in front of me. I open up my eagle eyes because I'm Mr. Brightside. Is it eagle eyes or eager eyes? Evil eyes. I think it's evil eyes.

Eager, eagle. Evil, eager, eagle. It's whatever you want, Mark. You won. You decide. And as Mr. Brightside, I would say that Wade put up a good fight. But, you know, when you start off with a lie that you don't have a car, it's just never going to go that way for you. Liars never prosper. That's what daddy always taught me. I have a car. Sure.

Wade, would you like to do today's sponsored loser speech? I would love to. Today's loser speech is brought to you by Vitamin Water. Vitamin Water is the ultimate lifestyle water for people who want fun and functionality. Fun and functional, much like my real car! Packed with essential multivitamins and big flavors like the new Elevate Blue Raspberry Limeade or Zero Sugar Rehydrate Pineapple Passion Fruit. Ah!

Like a delicious drink I could have on my cruise in my car, which is real. He thinks cars go on water.

Well, the his does. Much like my car, who said drinks can't be fun and functional? Grab the vitamin water today. Copyright 2025. Glass So. Vitamin water is a registered trademark of Glass So. It was a well-fought game. We went through history. As Bob said, I was winning. But that biased wheel, which has never favored me. I've just had terrible luck over the years with wheels and dice. But one day my luck will turn around. No, it won't. Do the thing.

Today's Loser's Speech is and was brought to you by Vitamin Water. Born in New York City, built for people who work hard and play hard. Grab a Vitamin Water today. Copyright 2025, Glass-O. Vitamin Water is a registered trademark of Glass-O.

Thank you, competitors. Mark, look forward to your episode next time. Make sure you follow us at our thingies. Our usernames are like in the on screen probably or whatever. The editors usually do that. Make sure you follow the podcast because then you'll know every time we post an episode, but it is Mondays and Fridays, so pretty consistent. Mondays and Fridays, Easter. Wait, that's... Eastern Standard Time, Mondays and Fridays. It's actually Tuesday, Sunday on the West Coast, but yeah. No, we are out here. Mark hosts the next one. Wade is a loser. Oh.

Thank you so much for watching. Thank you slightly less than that for listening. That's the end. Podcast.