When Was That Again?
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Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractive.

This episode, Burly Bob loves cutlery cannons, mains prop hunt, and tests the gent's tactical recall rate. Sticky Munitions Mark has misfired love bullets, advises cocaine, and knows a history of two. Wipeable Wade hasn't touched his balls in over a decade, and diverts from nuclear Armageddon.

From re-lubing bullet condoms to replicant replacement. Yes! It's time for When Was That Again? Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hello and welcome back for another episode of Your Uncle's Third Favorite Podcast. He's got weird... I don't like that guy. I don't care if we're third on his list. I'm just using it as an identifier. He sucks. We're awesome. This is distractible. I am your host. My name is Bob. I'm the host because I won the last episode, which I earned by existing. And the real winner in the last episode was Shortman Everywhere.

Tom and shoes, Tom and shoes.com not sponsored or affiliated. Don't know anything about that company. It is a real website. Don't look into it. I've never seen the show before. It's a show where I host because I won and two people, Mark and Wade compete to win today's episode and they host the next one. And I give out points, which I write down in my special, special notebook and the points don't really mean anything. And also they're,

Kind of just made up on the fly. But also, if I don't keep track of them, I get in big, big trouble. How's it going, fellas? Happy recording day. How are you? It's going great! I've got Z! Oh.

Oh, we knew it was only a matter of time. I knew it! No, no, not at all, actually. Not at all, actually. But I cleaned some of the bullets. Wow. Did you get the goop off successfully? I did. And guess what? It got three shots off in a row before it jammed. So now it only jams everything.

Well, now, now you can defend yourself three times from a squirrel. 300%, 200% improvement, Mark. That's a huge improvement. Whatever the percentage is. Yeah. So what I did was they have this like cleaner, uh,

that I was like, it'd probably work for that. So I put them in like a Tupperware thing with some paper towels at the bottom. And then I sprayed it down, which I was like, this is probably fine for bullets to be wet and sprayed with this chemical cleaner. Yeah, sure, sure. Probably fine. Anyway, and then I went, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, in the thing as it was shaking against the paper towels. And halfway through, I was like, sugar, sugar,

This is dangerous. No, no, no. What you should do is put them in the washing machine. Oh, you're totally right. What was I thinking? That would be so much easier. Bullets love Tide Pods. Yeah. Anyway, I wasn't like, I wasn't like a martini mixer, you know, just up by my ear. You know, I wasn't doing that with a whole bunch of those. Um, but I was trying to gently just like make them rub. And then I bought some, uh,

microfibers and I put them all there and every single one of those was covered in green like just coated in this weird stuff like just this sticky gluey mess but after a few rounds of like procedurally going to different bins I've managed to clean them I'm not sure if it was like worth the effort and time it took to do but I felt like I dug this hole for myself so I have to climb out of it myself and you know what it

Basically helped. I'm waiting for Gilbert Gottfried, like, you fool! To happen where, like, you actually need a coating on the bullets because otherwise it causes some kind of horrible friction that damages the barrel. I lubed him.

Oh, you'd re-lubed them. I re-lubed them. I forgot to tell you about that. The last Tupperware, instead of cleaner, I put lube. Gun lube. So in a few weeks, they're all going to be sticky again. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, you got two weeks to fire them before the lube expires, then you got to redo it. Yeah, you're right. I got to put an individual condom on each one of them, then lube it up, and then put it in the gun, and then fire them.

I'd be kind of terrifying to see like a bullet condom flying through the air. Like you can see it. Yeah. It's like Twinkies. You go to the range and you're like, Oh, I got to load these up. Like plastic. Each one is individually plastic wrapped. No,

I've had this one in my wallet for a while. No, these are condoms for my bullets. They're not, they're not for me. They're for my bullets. Guy that uses your spot after you goes and looks at the garbage can. It's just a bunch of condoms. He's like, what the hell?

Anyway, so yeah, that was my adventure. Well, you got three whole shots off and I'm proud of you. In a row. I fired more than that, but I got three in a row. Consecutively though, that's impressive. Consecutively with no problem at all. I don't know what the world record is, but

Look out. Yeah, you better watch that. At this exponential growth, like if I get nine shots off in a row next time, I'll get 18 the next one, whatever the next 36. In six months, you're going to transcend your physical form. You're right.

He's right. Or shoot a lot of rounds or something. Yeah. Oh, I mean, I have 10,000 of them. I think you should have just gone back to like the World War One or the Civil War muskets where you get your little bullets and you put

You put some powder, you put your bullet, you shove it, you light, and then you go through the process again. That way you would never have a jam. It's like making the weirdest espresso ever. It's very procedural. Yeah. My dad, I think I mentioned he built muzzleloaders. So as a kid, I fired a lot of those specifically. So, you know, yeah, all those instincts don't translate to much else. I don't even think there were sights on them. Yeah.

Because they're very long. They're incredibly long. At least maybe it was kid brain. But I think they're really long. And top, there's not even a sight. Because it's kind of one of those things you just like hope you're in the vague direction of your target. And then boom! And it goes... I mean, if it was an old school muscle loader and you're shooting, you know, little balls and you're not even shooting... The sight wouldn't mean very much. Generally aiming it towards whatever you're aiming towards is good enough because it kind of just... Once it gets out of the barrel, the whole thing just goes...

in every which way. And it's crazy. What you really want to do, you want to put a sign outside that says this is a muzzle loading household. That way, if you do have someone who breaks in, they know they have to muzzle load their knife or their axe.

or their gun as well to make it fair uh-huh yeah exactly you know that's they take their blade they put a little bit of knife powder put the blade in meanwhile you've got your thing going you aim at each other i think they do make like a like a gun blade that shoots the blade out i'm

I'm not 100% sure on that one, but I bet it exists. Just knowing the human species, I'm pretty sure that exists. Of all the things that humans would invent, that's way up there. Way up there. That's kind of what a crossbow is. You know, it just shoots shorter knives. A knife gun. Also called a crossbow. I'm out of bolts. Hand me the butter knives.

I would not want to be hit with a butter knife shot from a crossbow. I can tell you that. I wouldn't either. You know what's seen always burns into my brain? I like the Pirates of the Caribbean movies in general, but there's that sequence where they are trying to outrun the Black Pearl on the British Navy ship, and then they can't. And so they've thrown everything heavy overboard, and then they're like, turn and fight! And they're like, we dropped all the cannonballs. And they're like, put any fucking shit in the cannons you want, anything!

And they're like shooting cutlery at the out of the cannons and stuff. I love that sequence is a good sequence. Yeah. It turns out you shove anything in there. It'll it'll go. Oh, that's it. You know what that is? That's a YouTube series. Will it cannon? The answer is yes, it will. It will cannon. I guess unless it's something that disintegrates. But even then, hot watermelon goop fired out of a cannon at something.

Pretty destructive, probably. Big paper ball. I mean, it would flash to steam most of it, but maybe some of it. Be like birdshot, probably. Sounds like a job for the slow-mo guys. Yeah. Get on it. Hurry up. We're waiting. More like you guys are moving in slow-mo. I don't know if you follow slow-mo guys at all. Have you seen Gavin's hard drive set up to store all of their uncut

believably dense footage that they have of shit I did and I think it's pathetic

It's pitiful. No, I'm just kidding. No, they have a great sub. It's insane. No, that's pretty much what it is. And I've thought about doing exactly what they did, which is buy an old, like, 60-bay server, or maybe it was a new one. I can't remember what they did, and then just fill it with hard drives. That's how you get, like, so much storage. I didn't go that route because I was like, I don't want to build a whole thing for that, and then now I have a whole storage server anyway, so I should have done that. I don't know what we were talking about. I just hijacked the shit out of that small talk, but...

I cleaned off my bullet condoms. Oh, that's right. You made love to your bullets and you did it safely. What's new with Wade? I was hoping you would never ask because nothing that interesting. Same old, same old. When's the last time you left your house? I told you last episode I went to that basketball game. That was just over the last weekend. When's the last time you left your house? Well, no, I went to...

I went to the store and Skyline yesterday. Fun, fun. Sunday did not leave the house, but not to date this episode too much. That was Super Bowl Sunday. So I streamed and did not watch the Super Bowl instead because I had no interest in it whatsoever. But I was still somehow surprised by the outcome. It was a game. Did you watch it? Yeah, I watched it. He's got a sports podcast. He had to watch it. I watched it and Tyler didn't.

Yeah, I was the guy telling him what happened. Master of balls and holes, my hole. Yeah, exactly. And balls. Yeah, but no, that was a sad game. I mean, not sad, it was like, boo-hoo, they lost. It was just like, oof, hard to watch. It wasn't a good game. No, it was not a good game. It wasn't a, like, last minute, like, oh, what's going to happen? It was like, oh, God. I'm petty, and I got to be honest, the slow, drawn-out...

embarrassing flogging of Patrick Mahomes and Jason Kelsey and the rest of those guys after everyone could not shut up about how glorious the chiefs were and how the refs weren't doing anything to help them. And they earned all those wins and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm not even saying they're not good, a good team because they still got to the super bowl.

But just the like demonstrative flogging of the Chiefs after a full season of everyone riding them, riding their dicks super hard in terms of like announcers and pundits and everyone in the sports world. I kind of enjoyed it. I didn't care, but it was kind of fun to just be like, wow, another interception. Patrick, oh no!

Wow. Oh, another sack. Oh, Patrick. They keep touching you, don't they? Oh, no. Thank you. That's funny. I actually know what you're talking about. I can't believe it. I actually know. That's super weird. I just expect you to zone out when I talk about stuff like this. It works. There you go.

I saw a, someone who is a big chiefs fan doing a, did a low lights of Jason Kelsey's performance. He had a pretty bad game, but he couldn't block anyone to save his life. And there's like a whole highlight reel of him lined up on the line, the ball snapping and him not moving for like an extra half second. And then defenders just running past him and murdering the quarterback in the backfield and him kind of being like, Oh, stop. Oh no.

Damn it. He's old. It's not even his fault, but like, man, I didn't really care about the outcome, but it's kind of fun.

Those reaction times, they just kind of slip after a while. You hit 30 and you're like... It's been five years, but I'm only 35, and I can't imagine having played a serious sport at any point in the last decade with my reaction times to stuff. I'll let you know how it is. I'm playing a very serious basketball league, maybe. Right now there's three of us on the team. How long till you go on IR? Oh, I'll give myself half a quarter. Okay.

What's IR? Injured Reserve. Oh.

I think we're going to run down the court. I'm going to like play offense or defense. We'll run down the other side of the court. I'll ask the coach to sub me. I'd be like, I'm winded. Sub me out. He won't because we don't have a coach and the other players probably be paying attention. And right now we don't even have enough to have a full squad on the floor, much less have five guys. We have three at the moment. That's not enough. Yeah. Well, whenever I was asked, I was like, well, I guess I could. Who's on the squad? And he smiled. You mean him? Yeah.

Yeah, that was basically it. He was like, hey, you want to play? I got this league I'm setting up. I was like, oh yeah, I mean, I've not played in forever, but if you need somebody, sure. He's like, yeah, that'd be great. And then after I agreed, he told me that I was the first person to say yes. You don't preface, I've got this league I'm setting up.

oh how many people are in it me it's like it's gonna now it's a league you said yes league our team whatever the hell yeah man and then he shows me a picture right of like he's like this is one of the other teams and he's like everyone on here is like the tallest dude six one if you're playing center a bunch of college basketball players or something yeah he's like if you're playing center like you're gonna you're gonna you'll be fine it's not like you're going up against seven footers tallest guy's like six one but

By the way, all of these guys are ex-D1 players. Hell yeah. So are you, right? Or something like that? You played. Yeah, you had a D somewhere. I played for the school in junior high. Mark was D2. He could help. That's me. He's got that D2 basketball knife. You're right. Not here anymore for some reason. Yeah, I mean like college. Ex-D1 college players when I say D1. I didn't play in college. I've not touched a basketball on like a real court in...

12 years because you're not allowed or because you got sad yeah i was banned i didn't let me anywhere near a basketball i'm i'm a little bit concerned i i think you just need to hit the gym get on the elliptical a little bit maybe work on some core strength you'll be fine can you build endurance and lose 30 pounds in three weeks yes

Tell me your secrets, Mark. My secrets? Oh, no, this is passed down generation to generation. Have you ever tried cocaine? Will it work? Yes.

I feel like it's almost guaranteed to work based on anecdotal evidence. It's going to be good. If you take for three weeks straight, nothing but that, you will probably lose 30 pounds and your endurance. Whoa, we'll be crazy. Well, we had a grinder when I was in high school, so I'm sure I could find a rock somewhere. I've told the story of my cocaine grinder science experiment. Yeah, you did. Did he?

I don't remember. We were there for that. You had a cocaine grinder? You had a real legit cocaine grinder? He was doing a material sifting sorting experiment in science class and he ended up using a cocaine sifter grinder thing instead and it was a whole... Yeah, my mom was like, try this. This is a fine screen to separate your minerals. I was like, okay. Well, if you're going to snort it, it needs to be like fine powder, right? So you do want to kind of make sure it's all, I don't know, evenly grinded.

ground up i would have assumed it was already a dust look the most i know about it is in movies and tv shows when people are about to do cocaine they take a like a razor blade and they're all that's to like make sure it's all like crushed up right so that it's powdery apparently there's a much fancier device that has a very fine screen that i thought was for sifting minerals and then when my teacher's like how did you separate sand from sand that i asked my mom she was like oh i

Sweet summer child, this was not a device made for sand. I was like, well, my teacher wants to know what I used. Sounds like it worked really well. So, yeah, only after I did this, god damn it, only after I did the thing and turned it in was I like,

Well, do I tell my teacher it was my family heirloom cocaine grinder? Heirloom? I told you, passed down from generations. It's yours now. You and your pass it on to those who come after you. I hope that thing is no longer in the family. I'm going to get like an FBI array. Like, we hear you have one of those grinders. You hope the heirloom has been removed from your family. That's not right. That's messed up. It was passed down from one generation of drug addicts.

to the next and then hopefully gone. This is what's wrong with today's generations. Tell you what. Oh, speaking of knife, you know what new knife I'm looking at? The new steel? A 22LR knife? I wish.

A2. That's such a higher letter. I know. Why would I go for D2 when A2 exists? Right? That's what I'm saying. I have no idea if it's actually better. But... Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, that's all I got. Bye.

I'm looking at a list here and I don't see A2 even listed. Knife Steel Popularity Index. We have the CPM-S35VN is the most popular followed by D2. I don't know if popularity is what you really want. The most popular knife is the mass-produced Gerber whatever blade that they sell at every hardware store in the face of the planet. Most popular doesn't mean most goodest.

Yeah, exactly. If anything, you want one of the sort of least popular because that's probably mean it's cool. That's why I got the knife. I did. It was cheap. Anyway, I have a topic for today's episode. I'm pretty excited about it, but also it involves me doing a lot of readings. I'm a little concerned about that. So if I say anything incorrect, don't judge me. I just really need your guys help. It's going to be kind of what's that show? Bob Barker, which is kind of prices, right? Rules going on here. When was that again?

This is the name of the episode. I have a list of things that have happened. Pop culture, inventions, whatever. Stuff that's happened in the 20th and 21st centuries. Stuff we generally should be aware of as people, probably. It's not like a quiz to see how crazy the things are. I just need to know when that happened. Specifically, in which year that happened. So we have a 1 in 25 chance for each of these, right? Or did you say 20th century as well? 20th and 21st century. Oh.

My selective hearing only heard 21st. Excellent. I've got a good shot. Oh, wait. If you only guess within the 21st century, that'll probably help Mark a lot. Probably.

probably look it's like me trying to stay in russia whenever we were playing that other game that's true i don't know how many times i told you it was all in the u.s yep put me in guam oh that was funny i love that short yeah but anyway just just tell me the year honestly it's just whoever's closest i don't care you can go over under it that's not actually price is right rule so i don't give a shit then we'll start with one that we probably all three maybe know maybe

And when Mark's going to go first as his reward for having to do the one man show. So it'll be alternating who gets first crack. So there's no buzzing or any of that shit. I'm ready. The Nintendo NES system. Oh, the Nintendo entertainment system. The NES launches in North America, revitalizing and innovating the video game industry.

When was that again? Okay, so the Super Nintendo came out at some point in some year. Yeah, you're right. You're right. So the regular Nintendo, was that like 87? 1987. That's an interesting guess. That's not exactly correct. No. All right. Okay. All right.

Okay, so my instinct here was to say 1986 before you said anything, but now I feel like I'm giving you the, like, you one-upped me if it came later, but I guess I'd be one-upping you if it came earlier. Oh, is this Price of Rights rule? Did I miss something about that? No, no, I said it's not. It's closest to the number. There's no over and under. You're good, you're good. But my gut instinct was to say 1986 before you answered, and you said 87. I was like... You can take it, you can take it. Ugh.

I don't know if I feel like maybe it's more recent than 86, but I don't, I don't know. I was not a Nintendo guy. I was, I was a Sega. I was a Dapper Dan man. Fuck it. I'll say 86, man. I really thought you were going to steal it away from your own self. It was 1985. Wade. There he is.

You tried really hard to give that point to Mark. I respect it. I really thought it was actually 86 or 87. Like, I thought Mark, I was like, I think Mark might actually have the exact year. And that was specifically released in North America because it came out before that. Wasn't that before TVs even? All right. All right. When you're next. What year was Lego patented? Oh, wow.

Oh, Legos. Lego. Lego my ego. You know. First Legos came out. Oh, man. They were to distract kids from the nuclear bombs. So 1944. Is that true? I don't know. Is that true? I don't know if that's true. I don't think so. I don't. If it is, I just made it up and it's coincidental. Oh, no. Oh.

Don't look outside, kids. Look at this bucket of squares. Oh, no. It was just in case we had nuclear war. That's not exactly correct. I'm only going to give you the first answer, the point, if they immediately get it dead on the nose. So what's your guess, Mark? Repeat the question. What year was Lego patented? Oh, it's probably one of those Nintendo things where it started as a card company. So I'm going to say it's actually way, way earlier. But.

But plastic wasn't made until they started pulling oil out of the ground. So it was probably part of the Industrial Revolution. I'm going to say 1924. It was 1958. Shit.

Ah, it was the Cold War nuclear fear, not the World War II nuclear fear. Of course. Oh, I forgot about the nukes. Was that part of the clue or was that part of your answer? I can't remember who said the nukes. That was just shit that Wade said. That wasn't a thing. Oh, okay. God, I forgot about the nukes. I forgot about the nukes. God, how could I forget about the nukes? All right.

All right. We all know this one. We all know this one. But I don't know if we know know this one. What year did the platform YouTube launch on the Internet? We all spend a lot of time on this website. Mark's been doing YouTube since 30 years ago, I think, or something. I've been watching Mark since 1984. 2005. Mark gets to put right off the bat.

I will also guess 2005. Yeah, and it started as a dating site. I always forget that, but that is actually true, isn't it? YouTube? MeTube? What? Yeah. YouTube. WeTube. Sex? Yeah, I think it was something where you upload a video of yourself.

So that other people could see. It was like a video dating site, right? But then they realized that the platform they had for video playing on the internet was. Which is crazy. I mean, I haven't checked the dating apps lately, but are there videos on those things? Why wouldn't there be? I can think of a few reasons why I wouldn't want to see them. I mean, there'd have to be like rules about that and stuff, but. The same rules as the pictures, but it's like.

Why wouldn't there be... Honestly, probably because you have to actually show yourself talking in a not an opposed and potentially photoshopped picture. Hello, future potential spouse. My name is Richard and this is Dick. Okay. Is that music or the sound of your dick hitting the fan in front of you on the floor? They happen simultaneously. In time with the music, this fan is going to show you how much my dick can take.

Imagine how your vagina is going to feel after this. YouTube. That's the invention of YouTube. There you go. All right, Wade. That was very high tech, which is not really your speed. I'm going to give you a low tech. Thanks, man. But it's a fun toy. It's fun. I think you love these probably. What year was the slinky invented?

providing endless entertainment.

for children around the world. Well, I'm going to give a little bit of a spoiler here, which will help my opponent. But I know the Slinky came out before Ace Ventura 2 because he had it going down the stairs. You're goddamn right. Which means it was pre-2000. That's correct. You are dead on there. So I've got a 1 in 100 chance of just nailing this. The Slinky really feels like an invention straight out of 1936.

It's not dead on. Very good guess. Mark? I like what he was saying about it's a 1 in 100 chance. I'm going to roll a D100. I'm going to go with that answer, all right? I respect it. Here we go. I'll put one out of 99 because it wouldn't make sense for... Sure, sure, sure. Well, no, 100 will be double zero. Ah, yeah, the 2,000 slinky. 1,900, fool. Oh! Shit. What is it?

Well, I know I'm fond of this year. I've said it before. 1987.

man the simulation really heard what you said and wanted to make sure you got the message back yeah i really wanted random chance it said you're gonna have the same number twice in a row baby what are the odds are of that you can't lose twice yep that's wrong actually you can lose twice it was invented in 1943 the slinky was invented to distract the kids from the nukes clearly damn it

I always get my slinkies and Legos confused. No, wait, you're right, though. You are right. Yeah, wait, you get the point. You were closer. It just felt like a boring old people toy. It had to be before everyone had TV. It probably was like a broken byproduct of some spring for a tank or something. And they were like, oh, this piece of shit. What do you think this is? Throw it.

The kids were done working in the warehouse. They're like, all I've got is this busted spring. I was trying to invent a mine that sprung up out of the ground once it was triggered, but it's so floppy. Looks like it'd fall all the way down the whole stairs. Wait a minute. Oh, all right. Let's do something. Wait, I'm publishing this. Oh.

Sight unseen. I just slammed that video public. Didn't even check it. Might be the raw recording for all I know. If it is, honestly, it'll probably go more viral than if it's an edited video. So no worries either way. His vocal warmup was like, I hate my subscribers. I hate my subscribers. I hate my subscribers. I've done that before where I upload a raw recording and people in the comments are being like, hey, this is an odd wide version of it. And I can't really hear your voice, but great video. Yeah.

I had one recently got released that the title didn't update. And the top comment was, Oh, I think something's wrong with your title there, Bob. Funny video though. And then the, there was a reply to that comment that was like, the title is on purpose. Did you even watch the video? Like,

No, well, that's the date that was recorded. That's not really... I think I used the same system that you used, Mark, because I learned... What's the lore? 250102 the headliners? What do those numbers mean? Have you guys seen the inspiration section on YouTube of your YouTube studio? Of the what is that? There's a new... I haven't seen this before, but it's the inspiration section that just appeared and it'll, I'm assuming using AI, generate video ideas for you, Mark.

My ideas are escape room, back and back rooms, addition poppy playtime, chapter four, Easter eggs. My top five scariest video game moments, the real life story behind endo parasitic too. And it's top recommended a day in the life of a fire evacuee. Yeah.

Wait, where the fuck, where'd you see that? So go under content under, under when you're looking at your studio, go under content. It's one of the tabs there. I've got anamorphic through fast food. I do golf sub terror. Kletka escape room edition, human fall flat. The headliners hike. It's time to try starting with terror. Yeah.

Oh no, apparently only one thing is successful on my channel. My ideas are ultimate prop hunt, the best of the best. The history of prop hunt, a deep dive. The science of prop hunt, why it works. Prop hunt, the ultimate guide to winning. And prop hunt. I was mistaken. I goo? Question mark is supposed to be I go. Because the thumbnail says the I go challenge. I go.

where when i play golf i go i really like that the the ai generated thumbnails they have words in them and they're really close but also they're still ai generating words my fast food simulator that has animorphs in the tile the image is just like a demon goblin with a crown

And it just says fast food simulator on top of it. By the way, for the listeners who are currently having a conniption, nothing is being shown. Yeah, we're not showing this. This is our private ideas. You guys can't have them. Yeah, you can't see. This actually gives you a whole outline of an of a video.

What the even shit is this? Quality content. That's what the shit it is. I want to make a channel that is just me taking these exact ideas and thumbnails and just reading them out and putting it in C. See how AI does. We got to do our best to recreate each of these ideas to a T. I think...

this might be the future if quibble cop taught us anything it's that everyone wants creators to be more ai driven yes yes oh here's my my anamorph fast food titles fast food simulator anamorph edition i'm a big mac now morphed and hungry fast food simulator there's a picture of like a wolf diving through the air with a cheeseburger in his bowl if

If you actually click on each of the ideas, it'll show you thumbnails. Sure, sure, sure. Anyway, Bob, did we get the year right for whatever's happening? Oh yeah, sorry. Slinky, 1943. Wade was correct. That's the last one we did, right? Yes. And then I had to get my video public and we're all good now. We got a little distracted there. Oh!

You guys should all go watch Distractable. I remembered to plug it this time. Yeah, we gotta make sure we include those. Hey, if you're not watching Distractable, you don't know where or what you are right now. True words have never been said. Alright, Mark, you love space. I don't like this. This is the same setup as last episode. Ha!

I almost just read the year out loud, so I almost just got a freebie. Finish this horror story, Mark. What year did Neil Armstrong walk on the moon during the Apollo 11 mission? It's okay, I'll make it up. Circle of life, and it moves us all.

We find our place. 1969. Yeah. That is the year I had also had mine.

All right. Yeah. See, you just got to summon your ancestors and speak to them in the clouds. You're like Lion King 1990. What was that? 1992, 93. Then we go back to 1969. All right. Yeah. Mark was just goofing around. Yeah, I goof. That is the correct year, right? That's on the dot. Yeah, that's on the dot. That's correct. One of these days, I'll get one. I actually know whenever it's my turn.

Oh, he's starting the unfair thing. He's going to go to the subreddit soon. No, no, no, no, no. I don't think it's unfair. It's just unfortunate. All right, Wade, I'll do a really modern one for you. Oh, that's the worst. How is that the worst? I don't know, but I just feel like it would be. You know stuff. You know modern things. All right, all right. Hit me. Hit me. All right, buddy. What year did Despacito become the most watched YouTube video of all time? Yes.

YouTube, again, our job, our livelihoods center around this platform. We know, we know these sorts of things. Okay. So it's whenever it became the most watched video of all time, not what it necessarily came out. I even gave you a hint. This is a modern era happening. I,

I understand. Alexa, play Despacito. That was such a big thing, and it was just a little while ago. It became the most watched video in the year of our Lord 2021. All right. That is not exactly correct. Mark, it's a chance to steal.

I think the video before it must have been Gangnam Style. That was number one for a bit. I think it was. Honestly, I sort of thought that it still was. So, yeah, Gangnam Style came out in 2012. So it was after that, I think, or maybe 2012. So I'm going to say 2018. That's my guess. Mark gets the point. It was 2017. Oh, fuck.

I thought too much about it becoming the most popular rather than just... How many views does it have? Apparently, the current most watched YouTube video is the Baby Shark dance by Big Fong with 14 billion. But Despacito was overtaken by Baby Shark in 2020. And it currently sits at about 8.5 billion views or something like that. How does Despacito go? How does it start? Despacito. Ha!

I don't know any of the words. I just know the despacito part. That's tragic. Alexa, play despacito. Despacito. Despacito.

I studied German and I don't even speak that. I got no shot with Spanish. Anyway, I tried to cheat for you, Wade. Hey, you know, I took a shot. I'll give you one I think you could steal really well. What year was the Tickle Me Elmo released for the holiday season causing shopping frenzies?

This feels like a post Y2K kind of toy. But my question is, is it a post 9-11 toy? That really is. That's really a narrow sign in there. It really tightens that down. None to be found until December 26th when there'll be millions of round of Tickle Me Elmo.

What are you doing? The song, Tickle Me Elmo. That can't be it. That cannot be it. No, you can't say that. You can't say that like we all know this. What is that song from? That Weird Al? Let me look it up. Tickle Me Elmo song. Are we waiting for him to look it up? I think it's a Weird Al song, yeah.

He's looking up the year of Tickle Me Elmo. I am not looking up the year of Tickle Me Elmo. He's cheating. He's cheating. He's cheating. I will close the tab. I was just looking up Weird Al Tickle Me Elmo song. I'm going to guess that this is, in fact, a post 9-11 toy, but not that far because I think it's a pre-mission accomplished banner toy. I'm guessing this is the 2003 holiday season toy.

Of our life. All right. That's not exactly correct. Wait for the steel. Okay. I'm pretty sure when we were doing the episode, we didn't start the fire. Pickle me. Elmo was one of the things I had on the list, and I'm pretty sure I had it on the list before we started talking. And I think I stopped in the late 90s. So I think it was late 90s. I'm going to go with 1990s.

Oh fuck. Are you sure about that? It's a pre 9-11 toy. I think so. Yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna say 1996 and Wade gets the point. It is from 1996. God damn. Is it actually 96? Yes, it is. I was like, I was so I was like, oh, it's gotta be 97 the way Bob's like, are you sure I should switch to 97? Sure about that, bud? I don't like you're sure about that. Okay, now can I go back and look up the weird alpha? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, fine.

All right.

Mark, oh wait, you don't get to go first. You shut your face, Wade. Yeah. We like treaties on this podcast, especially when Bob's in the mood to do a quiz show for some reason all the time these days. The Treaty of Versailles, which ended World War I and redrew European borders. What year did they do that? What year did they sign the Treaty of Versailles? Yeah. What year was that? When was that again? 1918. 1918.

Not exactly spot on, Mark. It's a chance to steal. No, that was the year of that movie. So if they were still fighting in 1918, then it must have been 1919. Mark sneaks it in with the steal at trading at Versailles was signed in 1919. Yeah!

See, if you'd have known your movies, you would have known they were still shooting. I'm still stuck on Tickle Me Elmo. Mark, you are a filmmaker. You know lots of things about film things. Yes. What year was the first talkie film, The Jazz Singer, released? First film with spoken dialogue played as the film itself played. Oh my God. Well, this would have been a year when the technology was probably still experimental, so it probably wasn't widespread. Yeah.

I'm going to guess they don't call it the roaring 20s for nothing. Those yappers were yapping hard 1920 right after the treaty. First treaty, then jazz singer priorities. All right. That is not exactly correct. Wade gets a chance to steal.

All right. Can you re-ask the question now that I'm not listening to Weird Al in my ears? Yeah, sure. Welcome back. The first talkie film, The Jazz Singer. What year was that released? This is the first movie that has talking voices and not just music played by a player piano as the movie itself plays or whatever. Oh, this was 1932. Oh.

That's embarrassing for the self-made filmmaker. Wade gets the point for the first talkie. It's 1927. It's very close. Ah, it was the roar in twenties. And then they lost their voice and they were just down to talking. Yeah. Then they just played music in the thirties again. Vow of silence for the thirties. For sure. They went with a Charles Chapman. That's not his name. Nevermind. Yeah, no, that's old Charles. That's what they called him. You know, Chucky Chapman.

Oh, yeah. You know, he's actually the guy who invented Chuck E. Cheese. The mouse is actually styled after him. Isn't it like Chaplin? It's not even Chapman. It's Chaplin, isn't it? Charlie Chaplin? Chapman, Chaplin, whatever.

Wade, you love the classics. And this is an American classic. It's another film. Oh, Mark, I was a shot at this one. But you love this sort of shit. What year did E.T., the extraterrestrial, come out and become a global phenomenon?

I'm just trying to figure out was E.T. prior to Star Wars or after Star Wars? There's a lot of Star Wars. You have to be more specific. The first one. The first one came out of like the 2000s or something. I don't even know. It was like 98 or something. Yeah. Phantom Menace. But E.T. E.T. E.T. came out and touched the hearts of tens of people that were alive back then in 1976.

Mark, it's a steal. I don't think it was a 70s movie because that's dumb and wrong. This is clearly an 80s movie judging by the I've never seen it and I've never seen it and I've never seen it. Damn. I'll give you a line from it, Mark. Um,

E.T. phone home. Don't know what you're talking about. But anyway, much like many things I don't know what I'm talking about, 80s. 1982. Well, Mark is exactly correct. He came out in 1982.

God damn it. How? How did you do this, you witchcraft man? I told you. Just don't watch the things you're talking about. 82? It just felt like the technology was kind of around there, I think. Are there VFX in there? Well, it's practical. It's a puppet and a real alien in combination. It's all practical.

The bikes were actually rigged up with jets. They were actually solid rocket boosters, so they had to get it in one shot because everyone died. Yeah, ropes and strings weren't invented yet, but we had rocket boosters. They didn't have cranes over 30 feet tall until the 90s. They had to get tall man's shoes cranes. That was possibly the fairest one yet. A thing Mark knew not a single thing about and yet somehow got exactly right. And a thing Wade seemed to know a lot about, except for the actual piece of information he needed.

It just felt a little pre-Star Wars to me, but it was not. It was not indeed. Mark, when was Facebook formed by Mark Zuckerberg in his dorm room at Harvard?

I didn't see the movie Social Network either. It's worth watching. It's a pretty good. It's an OK movie. It's pretty good. I heard it's very good. I heard it's very good. The Dusseldorf twins are really hot. The who? What are those guys called? They wrote they were the Harvard the Brumblebacks. Oh, Brumbleback Mountain. No, that's different. These are the twins. The googly eye twins. I can't remember their actual name. On some fronts. Yeah, they were here to pump us up. That's right. So I don't know how old

He is who Mark Zuckerberg is. Buzzuk. He's older than us, but not much older. Don't worry like that, man. Not much older. So he was probably in a dorm yorking it around 20-aught-two.

Wade, you get a chance to steal this one. Shit! So, I think it was like 2005 that I wanted to make a Facebook account. Because I think originally we had to be in college. Yeah, you had to have like a college.edu email address. But like, in high school we were like, we just pretend to go to college and we get in right away. That's so cool. And that was like sophomore or junior year of high school. Which means that it was around before that, used by college. Which means that it was invented even before that. He's using logic. So like...

The obvious thing for me to do would be say 2003, because then it's like I just cut Mark off by one. But I think I'm going to be stupid and say 2001, because that's the year my brain tells me it was made. Okay. So you sound sad about it. Is that your official guess? Yes. And Mark gets the point. Oh!

It was 2004. You talked yourself out of that one for sure. I know.

i was like okay maybe it was invented like i thought it was a trick question okay it was invented maybe really early that just became public over the next three years you just wanted him to be much older than us you were like he has to be in college at this point because then he'd be way older how old is he what 40 42 or something early 40s 40 40 on the dot oh that's way older than us he's all he's already got some gray hairs i don't see any you

You can't have gray hairs if you don't have any. Am I right? Get from being a lizard. God damn it. Yeah, we're going to do one more so that Wade gets one more shot at going first here. And not for nothing and not for any particular reason, but...

I would say this one's worth double points for no reason. Just for fun, you know? I can't wait for the bonus points. Oh, right. That thing that I haven't made yet. I knew there was something about the Constitution I was fucking forgetting. Our three wheels. Yeah, the series of wheels we need to make up and then implement. All right, that'll take. All right, I'm going to pick one that...

None of us know for sure, but I know because it's in front of me. Wait, wait. What year was the first fully automatic washing machine patented? Making laundry day just a little bitties. This was to distract women at home from nuclear war. So this happened in 19...

1951. 1951. Locking that in. Mark, you do get a chance to steal on that. This is when the patent was put out? The first patent for a fully automatic washing machine. Because a lot of old marketing was like women is the home. They kept on the home while men were at war stuff, right? That was like the 1950s thing. So I'm pretty confident 1951. I think that this is because this key thing here is a patent.

And I'm pretty sure the patent probably had some... General patent. Yes, hero. He understands it now. So I'm thinking that it was actually like the diagram for this is probably some nonsensical wheels on the ceiling. Like, you know, the ceiling fans that are tied all by bands going all over there. It's like a device from Whoville and shit. Yeah, like some Whoville-esque thing. But he got the patent in 1901.

I shouldn't have made it worth double points because it didn't matter anyway because Mark's a fucking savant at this game. Was it 1901? It was 1907. Okay, I'll take it. Yeah! Mark was so much closer. It was not even close. Yippee! Well, now hold on. He was the closest without going over. Wait, that's also good. Yippee! Hold on.

Well, I want to look at the diagram. Do you have a picture of it? This is just a list, so just Google it. Yeah, Mark, just Google it. You lazy shit. Just Google it. You know, just Google it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Don't ask us questions. Just Google it. Oh, this is saying, wait, 1797, Nathaniel Briggs received the first patent for his invention. Oh, no, not automated washing machine. I don't see any bad.

Patent. Bendix Home Appliance has applied for a patent for the first automatic washing machine in 1937. 07. Yeah, 1937. 3007. This is 37 on this Google search. That's not right. Look, I'm just going to say this. I put this all together without double checking anything. So if it's factually incorrect, that's fine.

That's on me. But also what's correct for the purposes of this show is whatever the hell I had written down on my sheet. No, that's fair. I was just trying. I don't see. Oh, is this the image of it? 1907, the Hurley Electric Laundry Equipment Company launched Thor, the first electric washing machine to go on the market using the Alva J. Fisher prototype patented in 1910.

The drum was powered by an electric motor. On early motors, this engine was not watertight and the short circuits occurred frequently. The machine was therefore potentially dangerous and it did not wring out the linen. So I think 1937 is the first fully automatic washing machine with rinse spin cycle. So it both spun it out. But 1907 is when the first automated washing machine that you just throw clothes in and it goes with electricity. And

And then short circuits and explodes. This is an image from 1851. That's not the correct one. My God, I need a three-sided die. Jesus Christ. Fucking over here, put together. Shit. Fucking God damn it. I forgot. I forgot. Oh, man. Our rules were excellent. I'm so glad we do those council meetings. Hey, you were all on board this time around. You were fully in there. No, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right.

I think I have everything. I need to add a category to the wheel. Before we ever use it once, you have to add one? Well, at the end of every episode, the host must add one item to the wheel. Okay. Did we decide we were going to add one, delete one, or just add one, add one? Add. Just so it gets huge. Okay, right. We want bigger wheel. I don't know why I said that like that. I'm sorry. You have a stroke there?

i am going to add a wheel slot for being a loser which means whoever has the least points at the exact moment the wheel is spun for that one they just get a point for being a loser does that include the host uh between the two competitors okay okay

Other people and viewers and listeners can get points from this wheel, but this is between you guys primarily. The other things are extra. And for, okay, that's going to be the end of the topic. And now we have a whole convoluted thing that we have to do to end the episode that I completely forgot about, but is all prepared now. Also, I forgot we came up with the new thing for the unfairness. I love that. I can't wait.

I can't wait to implement that. The coin flip thing. Yeah. I don't remember what it was. If you use the word unfair, you trigger coin flips. The coin will be flipped three times. If the complainer wins three in a row, the unfairness is proven. If the complainer loses three in a row, it is now fair and will be made doubly fair against them. Did I...

earlier say it because i was like oh is this the is is he doing you did say no one triggered it but you did say the word unfair because you were mocking wade as which should have triggered it it should have because anytime you use the word unfair it triggers it as the host i'm gonna say that's too far gone we're moving on to the next phase of the show but we could have jumped all over you we need to keep that front of mind we gotta yeah i gotta remember god i gotta read the constant

I know. We've got to study it, guys. We've got to study this Constitution. If I said it, it would have been on me. Yeah, so then you could have had a chance of winning. Well, I guess you would have doubled or lost double the points. Yeah, I don't... Look, I don't think we should read too much into it. It's definitely a case-by-case type of thing. We're just going to have to see what happens. We've just got to be careful with that word. Yeah, just don't throw...

that word around so casually everything will be fine what if someone says that's not fair that's not in the constitution that that's that's not the thing the thing that triggers it is the word unfair okay understood all right so the way this new process works is we have to roll a three-sided die to determine how many spins there shall be of the wheel i'm not going to share my screen for this we're going to do an honor system because if we do share screens and shit that's going to be a whole catastrophe mess at the end of every episode

Honor system, I'm rolling a three-sided die. It gave me one. That's unfair. I don't want to do it, but... He did say it. I don't know what that would do. Doesn't say we have to trigger it.

I don't think we get selective enforcement of the rules because it could go badly for him. No, actually, it does say that it just triggers this automatically. So technically. But it's like you could do that as a last minute play. But I think it's like chance of getting it is low. Oh, yeah. You got three in a row. Anything other than three in a row. Either way, nothing happens. But if you get three face down in a row, tails in a row, then you're.

Yeah. I don't know what that would do for the wheel spins, but it would give me twice as few. This rule sound even more fair a week after we came up with. What were you thinking? It feels more fair now than it did in the moment. I don't know. We were all like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We were all for it, whatever this all was. I remember it felt, at the moment, I was like, this is brilliant. This is the best idea we've ever had. All right, I know how the coin flip should be. We can do it with a digital one. We should all buy...

And because there's three of us, we all flip at the same time. We all flip a coin. And that's how you get. And it's therefore the triangle of fairness from the three coins, which apparently in sign language, this means pussy. Pussy.

Saw that on subreddit. I like that. We need official distractible tokens for this or just a quarter or some shit. Yeah, I can see about sourcing that. Oh, even better. I'll have to buy it. Yeah, I like that. Temporarily, we could just use quarters or whatever we have. All right. But we should get official tokens. I feel like that would be... See, now I'm back on the train. This is the best idea we've ever had for the show. Yes.

None of us will ever be traveling or lose the coin or anything like that. It's always going to work out just fine. Yep. Yep. All right. So we get one wheel spin. If anyone cares, the starting components of the wheel are you get a point for being the baldest, the shortest, the tallest, eight, the most during the episode, loudest during the episode, biggest, got the biggest laugh, best looking,

which is on here twice, which is incorrect. Point for viewers, point for listeners, most locked in, most distracted, or being a loser, meaning you have to lose points moment that the wheel is spun. So we get one spin here, which is for one point. I am triggering the spin.

got the biggest laugh is the one that has been selected who who got the biggest laugh uh i made you laugh with my lion king bit i think that got a that got a reaction the lion king bit might have been the biggest laugh i was gonna say it's definitely not me it's between you guys he definitely the lion king might be it because he went straight from the lion king he's like i will fall us all 1969 that

that might have been the moment yeah all right all right all right mark you have a chance now i doubled the points uh just to make sure mark could stay in it and we gotta flip the coin what for for he said unfair you just said it you said it first i was like i got a coin ready yeah but now we both said it so now we're gonna flip it six times no it's only one per one per round one

one per episode all right i don't have a coin i do have the sacred lens cap do we have to fucking lens cap it no you can do online i just had i literally have this sitting in front of me so like i'll just use this i'm gonna say the part that has the company's name on it is heads for me i just got digital i don't actually know where my head cap is i just did an online one i'm not looking yet all right i know my result i know my result i dropped it on the floor hang on flipping all

Alright, I have my result. Heads. Tails. Heads. Alright, nothing happens. Oh, I was the one who fucked it! Why did I lie?! Damn you, honor system! Yeah, that's new. If we're doing it on the honor system, you could totally game that and be like, "Heads!" That's why we'll have physical coins. Hey, I was honorable. I said tails. I'll put big handles on the side of them so you have to pick it up in a very specific way.

We need coins and a coin tray. And you flip the coin into the coin tray. The coin can only land a specific way because of the handles, but it's fair. You have to flip it into a glue trap. And that way it stays where it is. And you hold that up. Each of us needs one coin per episode. It is permanently flipped once it has been flipped. We get a bowl of Mark's bullets. And that way we know it'll stick. Yep, yep, yep. All right. Extra large glue trap. Okay.

Here we go. Oh yeah. You get a whole roll of it. Oh, perfect. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Maybe the jumbo. No roll. Oh,

Wade, you earned points for knife powder, basketball stuff, cocaine grinder, the NES, Legos, slinkies, tickle me Elmo, and the first talkie. I started off so strong. For a total of, Bob knows how to add numbers together, eight points. Good job. Good job, buddy. You did great. Thank you. Thank you. Mark, you earned points for clean bullets, guns,

Watched the Super Bowl, an A2 knife, YouTube, Neil Armstrong on the moon, Despacito, Treaty of Versailles, ET, Facebook, washing machine, and you got the biggest laugh of the episode. For a total of, and the suspension is, you could cut it with a knife. Oh, Mark got 13 points. Oh!

Golf rules? Golf rules? No, not golf rules. I had to hope. I had to hope. Anyway, that makes Mark today's winner. Congratulations, sir. I didn't even need the weird wheel. Somehow fate was on my side the whole time. I gotta be honest. I know I'm going to complain about it. I really like the addition of the wheel and everything at the end. I like that. That makes sense. I'm into it. The wheel can be sponsored, guys. Oh!

The wheel could be, have a spot presenting sponsor, presenting our wheel of things. Oh, we can have, we can have more ad spots. Everybody loves ads and they love our ads. The most today's winner wheel brought to you by Walt's wieners. God, I wish anyway, uh, wait, loser speech. Uh,

It was a very fair episode. It was very fun. I enjoyed it. Learning how much we did or did not know. I don't know why I managed to just shoot off the race course. I was really just like the hare and the tortoise and the hare today. Took off fast and then took a nap and Mark blew right by me past the finish line. I also think that the circle of life was definitely probably the funniest moment. So I've got no disputes. Very fair episode. Thanks for hosting it, Bob. Fun times.

Thank you. But mostly thank me. Mark, winner's speech. Look at this. Look what I can do. I gotta be honest. When you had it lowered down off camera, it kind of looked like you were going like this. Yeah, I'd like to thank me. Thank you all so much for enjoying this episode. Thank you to my competitors. Chance was really on my side. I should have known that the odds were in my favor when that dice roll came up with the same number I picked. It was my time.

I'm just glad that all the stars aligned and the planets shone down on me. I'd like to thank Venus. I'd like to thank Saturn. I'd like to thank Pluto, which is a planet Neil deGrasse Tyson can suck a dick. I don't think he decided that, but okay. He might as well have. He might as well have. He can suck Uranus. It's probably a pleasant because that's a gas planet. It's a planetary joke. I will rule with an iron fist.

And we'll get you a cream for your asteroid. You know what, Wade? I'm going to give you a posthumous point for that just because it was really funny. I'm dead.

Yeah, you died. I only get that point after being deceased. Whoever loses an episode, they get killed off and we replace them with a replicant to do the next one. Thanks for your speeches, gentlemen. Thanks for competing. Congrats to Mark. You're going to host the next one. Make sure you follow the podcast so that you get notifications, you get the little plus thingy or whatever, however it works. Thank you for watching or listening. We love all of you the same.

And yeah, follow Mark at MarkPlyerWade at LordMinion777 or Minion777. I am MySkirm. That's the end of the episode. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you on the next one. Podcast out. Bye.