E904 - Melanie Lynskey & Jason Ritter, Ari Shaffir, RHOBH, Temptation Island, Parenting & Side Hustles
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What's going on, everybody? Welcome back to another exciting episode of the Vile Files Reality Recap Edition. And boy, do we have a fun episode for you guys today. Melanie Linsky and her very charming husband, Jason Ritter, are joining us.

us momentarily. Jason's been on the show a couple times. It's been a while. Always a big Bachelor fan. He was here to recap some Bachelor episodes a while back. It's the first time having Melanie on. They are a very adorable couple. And they're also just big reality TV fans, and so we are excited to have them on as well. And later, Ari Shaffir, a very hilarious comedian who has a new Netflix special out, will join us as well. Nice.

Nick's developed a new habit. I've developed a new habit? Uh-oh. What? Good habit? Bad habit? Probably not great. A diabolical habit. We hate it. Yeah. Do I know what this is? Do I know what you're going to say? Say it. He leaves chewed up

wads of gum on random surfaces throughout our home. I've left. Several. I've left. Wait, why is this a newly developed habit at 44 years old? He just now started not throwing his gum in the trash can. I feel like this was a bit on Parent Trap or an old movie where she would take her gum out and put it on her headboard. And I used to do that when I was 10, thinking it was so cool. I know, I know, but you're not 10. No.

Why is this happening? I don't know why. But it's in awful places. What do you mean? Well... We got a bad dad here. This is a choking hazard. We all make mistakes. He puts River down for a nap and rushes out of the room for some reason. Don't call. Don't know. Call. Business. A business. As usual. Who knows what's happening? Well, I'm a chomper. What the fuck does that mean? Well, you know, you're putting your daughter to bed and you're...

Oh, he smacks. She's like waking up her eye like, shut up now. So I was like, oh, sorry, sweet, pretty little baby. And then I took the gum out and put it on this little nightstand. So I checked the monitor and she's like not asleep. She's kind of just awake, chilling. And I'm like, okay, well, I'll let her work it out. You know, she's not crying. She's just kind of hanging out in there and she loves her crib. So I would check back in every couple of minutes and she's laying down. She's sitting up. She's standing up. She's laying down. She's

And then I'm like, what am I doing? Like, I might as well just go in there, you know, and like rock her and try to get her back to sleep. And thank God I do. She's got that gum all wrapped around her hands. No. I mean, just like stretching it, playing with it. I was like, oh my God. Is she ready for slime? She's a slime girlie.

Like three weeks before that, I caught her. I want to say it was Natalie's gum, but who knows? Who knows? Now I leave gum. You know, just in case the parent shamers pop out. I just want to make sure we both go down in flames. Thank you for protecting me. But our daughter is so smart because like I caught her chewing gum. She was just like,

Oh, so she knew not to swallow it. Totally. I was a little freaked out. Like, oh my God. And she was just chomping away. Like, good old dad. But even like Shug, our babysitter, she was like, so I found like several pieces of chewed up gum.

places? I was like, yeah, no, I know. That is Nick. Did you ask her to guess? She was like, there's one on her changing table. And I feel like that the diaper trash cans, right? It's the most accessible trash can in the house. Truly. I mean, it's just it's right there. It's easy to throw away. Are you going back for these pieces of gum? Oh, my God, no. And what may or may not be related news.

Natalie told me 17 times yesterday about this new article. Oh, okay. Oh, I think I know what you're talking about. I just wanted to know if you go back for these chewed up pieces of gum or are they part of the house? Like when you put it down, are you coming back? I'll be honest. I have no recollection. Just swallow it. Okay.

What do they say when you're on the stand? I do not recall. I do not recall. And I plead the fifth. That reminds me of that Justin Bieber deposition where he's sitting and he's in some lawyer's office. It's not a courtroom, but they're showing him some videos and he's just the whole time. He's like, I don't recall. Yeah. I do not recall. I do have a confession, though. When I'm done with my gum and I don't know where to put it, I'll give it to Danny to swallow for me. To swallow? To swallow?

Yeah. I'm hearing so many. You also gave Danny Louie's umbilical cord to give to the dog to eat. So you need to stop giving Danny things to dispose of. You are not wrong there. I had forgotten about that. Did you know that, Nick? What? Leah, she was at the house with Louie.

And she was at our house with Louie. And she was talking about like, oh my gosh, how funny is this? Like whenever Louie's umbilical cord fell off, you know, it falls off like a week after you get home. Sure, yeah. Danny fed it to the dog. And I was like, what? On purpose? Yeah. It's a tradition in the family, apparently. I was like, that was the...

The way he was connected to you. And by tradition, you mean like a Jewish tradition or just like a Danny? No, no, no. His family, every time they had an umbilical cord fall off, they would feed it to their dogs. You guys, this is making me nauseous. And like for me, I was like, I have that saved somewhere. What other traditions do they have? Is there a seance or what? Well, for me, I was like, oh my God, that was like the way that they were connected to us. Like you didn't save that? And she was like, oh my God. What?

I didn't save it. I had an existential crisis right there on your outdoor couch. I was like, fuck, why didn't I save that? You were like, now I'm mad at Danny. Yeah, like why don't you just feed, you know, all your first photos of all these moments to your dog too. Like maybe a whole photo album.

Any other special moments with your child? Do you want to feed your dog? Well, marijuana users are now six times more likely to have a heart attack. Do you want to rethink your choices? Well, here's the thing. Six times higher than what? Than before. Well, maybe it was zero before. And six times zero is still zero. Has Natalie told you the facts of this? No.

No, I'm just saying like a percentage is irrelevant. Please, Nick, listen. Well, so basically, a new study of 4.6 million people found that cannabis users were more likely to experience heart failure, strokes, and cardiac arrest. Is it smoking weed or gummies or do we know? Well,

Well, so young marijuana users are six times more likely to have a heart attack than those who abstain from the drug, according to a new study that analyzed data from 4.6 million people. The study followed adults younger than 50 who didn't have any comorbidities. From 2010 to 2018, according to research, specifically cannabis users were six times more likely to have a heart attack, four times more likely to have an in seismic stroke.

I may be wrong with the pronunciation. To Nick's point, more likely than what? Than the average person who's not smoking weed. Another marijuana user over here across the room. Yeah. I'm fine. And I have no issues. I'm just saying six times zero is still zero. Why are you timesing it by zero? Well, you...

Because I don't know six times more than what. Like there are a lot of users. Literally like six times. If there's a 1% chance that I have a heart attack because of, you know, and then if it's six times more likely, that's still, you know. I'm just saying this is the medication that we're giving to like cancer patients, glaucoma, you know. It does specify. It says cannabis use appears to pose a substantial and independent risk for those outcomes, even in a population without traditional cardiovascular risk factors. So that's what it is.

For people that aren't already like at risk of like a heart attack. So it makes you at risk. I'm short of breath. Oh my God. Do you smell burnt toast? I think that's brain cancer. That's a heart attack? That's your arm hurting. I think left arm hurting is your heart attack. Okay. I think I'm okay. Smelling burnt toast is a stroke. Okay. Mm-hmm.

I think I'm good. In other news, Ryan Reynolds requests that he be dropped from Justin Baldoni's lawsuit. Ryan Reynolds is asking a judge to drop him as a defendant from Justin Baldoni's $400 million lawsuit, claiming Justin Baldoni's argument against him has no legal bounds and amounts to hurt feelings, which all the Justin Baldoni stans are...

up in arms but makes sense to me I don't know like why like is he just being sued because he's married to Blake there's all this speculation about like the Deadpool or Night's Pool whatever in his movie I don't think that's illegal can you just sue anyone who's just like mean to you

I think anyone can sue anyone for anything, but when it goes to the court and things like that, I think there are certain legal... Because I'm coming for you, trolls. I think there's certain legal things that hold water or not. Could you imagine if I became a billionaire and it was just off suing people in my comments who were mean to me? I'm still trying to remember the comment. What was the weird word that...

They're trying to say a word, but... Oh, indoors. Endorse. Okay. They're only here to see what I indoors. Watch out. We'll see what happens with that case. We should probably bring back Emily Baker sooner than later to have her break down any updates in this case. But we will follow along. I'm not sure if this will be granted or not, but we shall see. It makes sense to me because I just don't know. It seemed...

It seemed almost when he was brought into that lawsuit, it just seemed almost, well, retaliatory and kind of almost like, oh, well, I'm going to go after you. You know, it's like...

he didn't work on the set. I mean, obviously all these like theories and stuff like that, but we'll see. We'll see what happens with that case. Tina Fey. This is interesting. Admits that she judges rich people. Isn't she rich? Yes. Who have side hustles. Yeah. She's not judging herself. She's judging her peers who are also rich, who feel the need to like start a liquor company or start a, yeah. Or start like a hair company.

A hair company. An active wear brand. I mean, I don't know. I just, for me... Because you know that they're not that involved. Who cares? They're only doing it to make more money. Have you walked into Narawan? Every brand is a celebrity brand if you think about it. Well, celebrity brands are the... Some of them are very successful. Some of them aren't.

are less than successful, but like, I don't know. Listen, my big thing is like, I don't know what Tina Fey's wealth is, but it sounds like she's up there. She's very successful, had a lot of successful projects. I know when super rich people have opinions about how other rich people like make and spend their money, I'm just like, I'm uninterested in that opinion.

That's just my opinion. I find it fascinating. I do, too. I mean, I think she was being funny, and I think it was, like, an interesting take of, like, I'm judging you for, like, needing to have a side hustle when, like, you already make billions of dollars. If your rate's, like, $8 million on a movie, but then it's like, you know what? Fuck it. Let's throw a tequila brand on top of that. I'll shoot a commercial once in a while. Like, I get it. Whereas she's just saying, like, I...

kind of hate money. I have a problem with rich people having a side hustle. If you already have like 200 million, I judge it. How much of that money she hates has she given away? I mean, I don't know about her philanthropic endeavors, but I'm like, I'm sure if she hates it, she probably does give. I don't know. Like I say, if an actor makes $8 million on a movie, about 25% of that is just taken away off the top to like their agents and managers and lawyers. So bam, 25% gone. Then half of that, the government takes.

So you got, let's say, $8 million. What's 25% of $8 million? Take $2 million off. You got $6 million left. Now, all of a sudden, $8 million becomes $3 million. And Nick loves math. I cannot fact check a single thing you just said. I can't even fact check that. Where the woman's just staring out and it's all the equations floating around her head. Yeah, literally. I don't know. Maybe they got a couple of family members they're taking care of and things like that. Maybe someone came to them and said, hey, you want to start a t-shirt line or something? They're like, great. And then maybe that blew up. And Tina's just saying, like, I don't know.

I just judge you a little bit for being like... She's saying it's a little cringy. Has Tina Fey ever done a commercial? Yes. And couldn't that be... She's still acting. Couldn't that be thought of as a side hustle? She's still acting. It's an acting job. Oh. And she's holding a shoe? Still acting. Yeah. I'm acting at the table. I mean, yeah. She's entitled to her opinion. I don't know. It's just more like... It's just like when she's... I'm guessing doesn't have to worry or worry about money point...

Like, period. I don't think Kylie Jenner has to worry about money. She's incredibly successful being a producer herself and a writer. But have you ever judged your peers for, like, doing something that you feel is a little cringey? Cringey? Sure. And that's what she's saying. She's saying that, like, George Clooney, not George Clooney, but example George Clooney having his tequila company is a little cringe.

I mean, I don't know when he started or what he was worth, but he made a ton of money from it. I respect the side hustle, too, where I'm like, listen, if I don't want to do 500 movies this year and I can make the same amount endorsing a brand, by all means do it. But I also think that the opinion is kind of funny. But also like Tina Fey, she's an actor, she's a producer, she's a writer. Aren't those kind of side hustles? She doesn't just do one job. No, they're all one umbrella. Yeah.

And what is that umbrella? Entertainment. No, actor. Okay. And so let's say George Clooney, like I'm sure he used his celebrity and his marketing ability or like just his good face, like his celebrity. How is that really different than what Tina Fey is doing? Because like they don't use like real tequila in movies, right? It's like water. So it's like these are two very different things. It's not like he's not acting like he likes his tequila company. I don't know. Maybe he is.

Then that's fogged up. He's also not sending out emails being like, who wants to collaborate with Casamigos? There's a lot of actors out there who get like maybe one job every five years. But by all means, and that's what I'm saying, where maybe that's not your side hustle, that's your main hustle. And she's also not talking about them. As soon as they make money, they're like, no, I'm just, I don't know. Good. I think that's what I'm saying.

I think it's a very, she's in a very convenient position to have an opinion like this. And it's like, okay. I think it's her being funny and being cheeky and just like calling out some of her like friends. And it's like the fact that she would do this to people is really fucked up.

Really fucking it up for the rest of us rich people. I'm just going to chew my gum. You know what? If a celebrity endorsed or invested in Forever 21, it may still be here. See, that's what I'm saying. We needed a side hustling celebrity to save America's favorite brand. I don't know about favorite brand. Yeah, it was its time to go. That was a hellscape to walk into one of those stores. It still is. No, first of all, nothing was ever organized. You walked in and immediately

immediate anxiety. I'm next. I'm looking at army print next to fluffy pink jackets. Also, there's like the running joke of, oh, my God, this cute white like T-shirt and you pick it up and it's like puppy lover on the back. And you're like, what the fuck? Yeah. We're doing so well. Yeah. So honestly, it was time. R.I.P. Forever 21. Honestly, had a great run. The shoes that I was wearing the day that I met Nick are Forever 21 and I will never,

get rid of them because they hold such a special place. Honestly, some of my older pieces from Forever 21 still hold up. It was like once they turned into like wash it once and it shreds, then it's like, yeah, I can't shop here. But I used to love it. Is anyone watching the Baldwin's show? Like it's been out. Like have people talked about it? Does anyone give a shit? I haven't heard anybody. They do. We're watching. Do you think they're still promoting the show? Because like they are an example of everything I don't,

Want us to be. Oh, yeah. No, there there there's a clip of them on a red carpet where it was crazy. The interviewer asked a question to like both of them. And even if it was kind of directed to her, she kind of like starts answering. And then he's like, he starts complimenting her. He's like, she's a star. Like, she's amazing. And she's like, I was talking.

Don't interrupt me when I'm talking. When I talk, you... Oh, in his face. And he looked like he... He was like, I'm sorry. And looked down. It was so sad. And he looked dead inside. He looked like a broken man. When I'm talking, you're not talking. In front of people? I'm on a red carpet in an interview. Are you my mother? Like, how...

Like this man has been through a lot and now you're like snapping at him. It's like get a podcast and talk some shit to each other for fun like we do. Like, oh my God, don't bring it to the red carpet and like yell at your spouse for the point where they just like die inside. But also that sentence, like when I'm talking, you're not talking is such a degrading sentence. Like,

There's a way to be like, honey, could you not interrupt me? Like I was in the middle of a story. You know, like there's a way to say like, hey, wait your turn. It's also giving like mother of seven. She was like, and eight. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

I mean, I don't know. It's just... That gives zero patience in the fact that he wasn't even, like, shocked by it. He said, I'm sorry, and looked down at the ground. Like, the saddest face I've ever seen. We know who is running that household. What would you... What do we think is a pro... You know what? Let's ask our guests, because I think they just got done from dropping off their child at school. And we can find out what they think is appropriate to pick your kids up at school. Because there was a Kylie Jenner video that has since been taken down. I know.

I went to find it and as of now it's not up. It's a collab with a brand that she's dropping a latex dress. Her itty... Not her itties. Her biddies are out and like... Her what? What was the first one? I almost said itties. Sorry guys, Josh is gay. He doesn't know how to talk about boobs. I was trying to blend over it in like a PC way but it's true. Her jitties. Like, like,

Her tatas were out. Okay. And like basically, I mean, I took it as she was joking, like in the heart of like promoting the dress, but she was like, yeah, like I would pick up my kid in this dress. Was she being sarcastic? Probably. I took it as like being funny. Maybe not sarcastic, but it's like, maybe not that serious. It's not serious. Like Tina Fey.

Oh, well, there you go. Anyways, the internet is outraged. But why? As they should be. Not that they should be, but that's just what they do. It's just, it's so apparent. It's a joke. And even if she does pick up her kids and they're like, why does it bother you?

yeah because you know the school because husbands exactly you know the school she's going to is like the school with all of the other famous celebrity children and i'm sure they're all picking up their kids also in like a latex dress as well so it's like they're just all in one yeah do you think like with like are there schools that are just riddled with celebrity kids yes there are yeah oh yeah there's a ton of schools that i could name of like celebrities and normal people going to yeah up

Up towards. Do you think it's like a red carpet every day? No, I don't. But I do like I hear stories from people being like, oh, yeah. Or like when my friends used to nanny and they'd be like, oh, yeah, Charlize Theron just came and picked up her kid while I was waiting for like mine. And it's just like crazy. Maybe our guests will have some thoughts on what they wear when they pick up their kids because they're up next. Or who they see.

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Melanie and Jason, welcome to the show. Thank you so much. Welcome back, Jason. Thank you very much. Welcome, Melanie. Thank you. Thank you for having me. So good to have you both. We've texted a few times about coming on. Obviously, you guys are busy with life and being parents, but it's great to have you back and have you on for the first time. Yeah, it all worked out. Yeah. I mean, I had absolutely zero idea that you had this accent. Oh, really? Yeah, and I feel like I've watched so... Obviously, I've watched so much of your work, but just I feel like I've watched you on

on red carpets and it's never clicked for me. And then meeting you in person, I'm like, oh,

Yes, of course. When I'm actually talking, I try to say as little as possible on a recap because I'm so anxious. I'm just trying to get through it. Just get through. Just leave. New Zealand. I'm from New Zealand, yes. I went there once. Oh, did you like it? I loved it, yeah. Well, I was there filming a show called Special Forces. Oh, right. I was quite tortured. The experience itself was great. Beautiful country. I mean, food, amazing. Where were you? What part? Queen

Queenstown oh so beautiful gorgeous it was like July June July but it was winter there yeah so beautiful yeah just wonderful food yeah very good food Queenstown is amazing we gotta see that show we've never seen that show I know yeah

I've never watched Special Forces. No. It's a good mix of like. It's a good family show. Yeah, it is a good family show. Yeah. I didn't realize like who watched it, but then after I was on it, like young families with their kids would approach me. Oh, that's so cool. And it kind of made sense because when you watch it back, it's, you know, it's,

Good, clean fun. It is. It's all about resiliency and fighting through adversity. And it's on Fox, which is network, and it's pretty clean. Yeah, yeah. So families can watch it together. How many kids do you have? Just one. She's six. We have one. She's 13 months old. Can I show you a video? Oh my gosh, please. We just got this today. Oh, she has her morning bedhead, but she's walking the dog. She's walking the dog.

Oh my gosh. She's like right on the verge. She's like says mama and dada and like she's saying words and like recognizing pictures and things like that. But like you can...

it feel like she's at the age where she's she doesn't know how to say things but like she you can tell she's processing oh yeah it's a very fun age it all happens it happens so quickly like this morning on the way to drop her off to school she told both of us that our hair was too crazy to do an interview today oh yeah too crazy we both had to fix our hair before we came because she's like what are you guys doing today and we're like oh we're gonna go into she's like well your hair is too crazy oh

You gotta fix it. You gotta fix it.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Hopefully we could. Yeah, no, it's looking great now. I don't know what you changed. Thank you. A lot. A lot. Took a shower. Yeah. It is crazy to watch her like, because, yeah, she can't really say a lot. But if I'm like, oh, can you put this over there on that stool? And she will go and do it. It's so wild. Yeah. It's really crazy. When do you feel like her personality really came out and started to be who she is today? Wow.

It was always there, I think. It is weird. It's like something slowly being revealed. So initially you're like, it just seems like a baby or something. And then even when you see other babies, you start to realize like, oh, no, that's actually only something that our daughter does or whatever. And then as they get older, you realize that, yeah, it was kind of always there. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. It kind of makes sense because you almost have to like, as you're there every day, you get to know your kid. And yeah, when you're talking about that, like the way River smiled, it's just like, yeah, I guess she always kind of smiled this way. Yeah, exactly. But you don't really appreciate it when it first happened. You don't know if it's her thing or just something babies do. Yeah, exactly. Is it a universal thing? Like, is she a genius or is she just like...

Kind of normal developing skills. Exactly. Because it's like every day there's this like, she seems to be learning something new. And I'm like, wow. Yeah. Genius. She's probably a genius. It's incredible. But it is nice when they start being able to use their words. And then, you know, as soon as our daughter could say cat, we knew that she was obsessed with cats. And she's been obsessed with cats for forever. Was that her first word? No, her first word was moon.

Moon. Moon, other than Mama and Dada. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. She pointed to the sky and she said, moon. That's so sweet. Yeah, it was really cute. Rivers' dog, right? That was like her first word because we have two dogs. So I think it was very easy to just get that. But yeah, I was over at Thanksgiving. We're at her sister's house and they have lots of dogs. And she just like pointed and said dog. Oh, my gosh. Because before that it was like Mama and Dada were just like things she learned. Yeah. Yeah.

She kind of says mama and dada for a lot of things right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was a really... Doc, doc, doc, doc. Yeah, she points him out and now it's like she'll hear a bird...

like tweeting or calling and she will like, it's so sweet. It's really cool to like watch them grow into human beings. We were talking before y'all came in here about Kylie Jenner recently has gone viral for saying she would pick her kids up from school in a latex dress that she was wearing. And so the internet, obviously the internet, internet thing. Yeah.

How would you feel if you were like, oh, let me just put on this latex dress to go pick up my kids. Are you dressing up to pick up the kids or are we in like a robe and pajamas? We put on our latex as soon as we get home from drop off. No, of course. When the kids are gone, the latex comes out. I mean, I think that's awesome. There really is like at,

our daughter's school, there's a range. Most people are pretty comfortable. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody said one day they were like, oh, you always know who's in the industry because they're either not here or they're in pajamas. And I was like, they're not pajamas. That's not quite judgmental. He is a cashmere sweater. Yeah.

Oh, my God. And what are the non-industry great parents wearing? I don't know. A pantsuit? A pantsuit, maybe. A lot of people are in pajamas. A lot of people are in pajamas. I feel like that would be me with like an open mug, you know, coffee and like my robe on and slippers. We've definitely brought the coffee into especially assembly mornings. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jason, you obviously came on a while back to talk of some Bachelor back in the day. Is that something you guys are still watching? A lot of people have fallen off here or there. We...

We missed the last... The last three, I think. What was it for you guys that kind of just didn't do it for you? I don't know. I mean, we always liked it. There's just so many shows. There's so many great shows and we got sucked into some of the Netflix dating shows and the traders. I think also we have so little time at night. Once we get our daughter down and then...

to watch something that's two hours. And then like Oscar voting. Oh yeah. We had to watch so many movies. Yeah. And it was like, I don't know. And then we just sort of ended up not getting into it. And also once you go into like some of the other shows and you realize how just bad

those are. You go back to like the Bachelor recipe and you're like, okay. It's always so fun. Like we always do really get into it. Whenever we, yeah, if we start it, we get sucked in and we're in for a whole season. We've never like

jumped off mid-season. And I like Grant. It's Grant, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We've had a chance to interview him a couple of times. Lovely man. Yeah, he seems like a really lovely guy. Also, he did a really good job this season of not saying thanks for sharing. Every time someone said something emotional or like a lot of the bastards before him were like, I don't know what to do in this moment of you actually sharing. So they kind of awkwardly just go, thanks. Thanks.

Thanks for sharing. Imagine if you shared what is usually your deepest trauma with somebody and they were just like, thanks for sharing. You'd feel so shut down. Yeah. Thank you so much for giving me that information. Do you want to do fantasy suites? Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

It is strange that trauma dump dinners. They do. Like, why is it needed? And they're doing it earlier and earlier, it feels like. Yeah. Which is... I think it was Lazy Producing.

Is it like a formula? They think, oh, it's going to get the viewers on this person's side and make them connect or. I think so. I mean, it's, I mean, they've always done that, but like, it feels like the past few seasons, it's almost become like a trope where it was like, yeah, they really lean, you know? And I think, do you think part of it has to do with like the show has been around so long and that like, it's hard for them to cast anyone who hasn't,

grown up with it or seen it so many times and they think that's what they're supposed to say but like so there's a part of that they come in with and I think at least I don't know maybe some of the producers just that's their shtick you know and so they just think oh I guess we're supposed to do that but it's always just weird you know and then it becomes like a competition of stories and the next thing you know you have someone being like you know I've you know ADD and like not that that's not but like yeah yeah I mean I you know I guess but like yeah

It becomes like this thing where everyone's just kind of watering down these various things where it's almost like a competition in a way where it just feels like disingenuous. Are you saying this because you really want to open up? Are you saying this because that's the show? Try to send me home now. I just told you the most tragic story in the world. Yeah. So what are you guys enjoying right now?

the traitor we went straight from the u.s traders to the new season of the british traders what is better is that a celebrity one or is that it's not which is have you not seen it oh it's good but is it how do you feel about it like do you think it's better to see just normal people fighting for this or do you like the aspect of like i mean there's celebrities there's definitely an element of like

I don't know. I guess I don't really know what the celebrities, what they do with the money if it goes to charity or to themselves. I don't know. But a lot of them do need the money, I will say. Not everyone's so rich. No, that's true. But there is something about just seeing...

a bunch of people who are just playing a game who also don't have like, oh, I know what it's like to be on TV. That's the nice thing. They are, I mean, a villain will really expose themselves on like, just because that's who they are. There's one person on one of the seasons from a different country that is like chilling. Like a full sociopath. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's fun. It was crazy. We've watched all of them. Yeah, every one that we can get our hands on. Yeah, the New Zealand one is really fun because they're, first of all, New Zealanders are so good at

sniffing out bullshit so they just find the traders immediately and they're just like oh so sorry mate I just think you're a traitor oh I am it's been really hard I haven't enjoyed it and then it's just like so funny they're so kind to each other nobody's backstabbing it's really would you ever

do it if you were asked or not in a million years. I probably would. You would? I love that. I love Mafia. I love that game. I love all of that. I love trying to figure stuff out. I also love trying to figure out how to lie if that's what the

what it requires. It's fun. It's kind of, I, I don't think I'm a good liar. You know, I think, I guess I could if I want to, but there's a icky feeling. And then like, it's comforting. Thank God. It's like, I'm really good at lying. I lie all the time.

With the game when you're supposed like you wouldn't like swear on anyone's like no some of that stuff is like It's just a game. I don't know if I need to swear on anything We have a home when we play mafia when we have mafia at our house. There's a rule that nobody can swear on

on anything. It's based on my ex-husband swearing on our marriage once. Oh, God. That's trauma. Yeah. And you're like, see? Yeah. And it worked. You believed him. I did believe him. And he was? Yeah, he was. I was like, he's not in the mafia. He'd never swear on our marriage. He's not in the mafia.

Poor Jimmy. He's such a wonderful person. He's just a good game player. He was like, people are going to believe me. You believe me. But I was shaken. My little group of friends and I, we've all played this game called...

the resistance and it's also like a lying game it's kind of like mafia on crack or something it's just very fast just a lot of lies and we started with like this is a moral gray area safe zone you can say whatever you want you can do whatever you want and then slowly we had to be like okay but you're not allowed to do that because that's crazy yeah and that's way too far and that hurt my feelings I've been cheating on my wife this whole time oh my god

Now you all are. Would either of you want to go on the traitors? Uh, yes. Yeah. Uh,

The opportunity has been presented early in the past. I just couldn't make it work. I hope someday I get the chance with the show and our daughter. I hope I get the chance to do it. It'd be a lot of fun. You'd be so good. I think I'd be okay. I think I would come in with a little target on my back. Um...

Because it is, yeah, if they're doing it how they've done it in the past, it is like majority of reality TV stars. Yeah. In this show, you know, we talk a lot about reality TV. You know, we've shared some opinions. Oh, of course. Maybe make some enemies along the way that are mad that he called them something. Yeah.

I was just talking about your character. But you seem lovely in person. And then I think some people think of me as strategic or whatever. And on fan forums for the show, I guess I get brought up as someone who... We interviewed Derek from this season. And he was saying, oh, I thought you were going to be on this season. So I kind of looked you up and yada, yada, yada. And I thought you were going to be good. So it's like you don't want really people to...

know much about you or have really any opinion of you, especially like your game playing abilities if you have them. But that's what I always kind of get shocked with the celebrity traders is like how the gamers don't really kind of get targeted. It's always like this year is the housewives. Yeah, that was weird. Why are we going after the housewives? And it's like every season they pick at least one gamer. Yeah.

Yeah, be a traitor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's true people there would be like well someone one of these gamers is definitely a traitor Yeah, suss them out like let's just keep focusing on them because they're also still the best ones - absolutely Yeah, she was so good she was her instincts were so good and time and I gotta say I I think I'm a fairly decent people reader but when we interviewed her and

And she came in and was a bit of like a hectic. She landed and we were leaving LA. She was coming into LA. So it's a bit hectic. But like, she really keeps you on your toes because she's always fucking with you. And, you know, and she obviously has kind of eccentric appearance. And you're just like, I don't know what to make of this. You're too busy just trying to learn about Carolyn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whether or not she's a traitor or not a traitor, I can see why she...

flew under the radar as long as she did. She was a great choice. Amazing choice. Bev Hills, are you guys up to date on Bev Hills? I think so. I think we are, yeah. You saw the...

Sutton on trial at sea? No! Is that it? I think that was last night. That was last night. We were still on the UK Traders last night. Watching Claudia Winkleman. We've gotten everything up to that. So who are some of your favorite? Where are we standing with Dorit and Sutton or Dorit and Kyle? How do you guys see the group these days? It is interesting how it like

over time. Like, I've come to really enjoy characters that I...

had a tough time seeing who they were but I think anytime someone goes through like a really tough time like I think Dorit with the break-in and all of those things that like really and through this divorce it's like it's humanized her in a lot of ways for me and so I feel sad about the Kyle and Dorit thing because I just feel like they're both in so much pain yeah and

they both, I think, have a hard time talking to their soon-to-be ex-husbands about it. So it's like they come at each other when they could be hugging and crying. Well, last night's episode, Erica kind of came for Sutton a little bit, and she, you

you know, when you go back and watch it, it'll be interesting. Well, cause I'm sure y'all saw the whole Sutton comment of like our wallets don't like, you need to mess with someone whose wallet matches. She goes for the jugular. She really does. She like will go if you're, yeah, she will just, when she comes in ready to go. Well, you, yeah. And that's, that was kind of Erica's gripe. So Erica kind of very, you know, she really, she, she owned that.

I love Erica. She delivered it very well. Erica has clearly done a lot of work. And the way that she's laying things out and being able to step away and take a deep breath and come back, I'm very impressed with that. I'm excited for you guys to watch it, but she was so calm. And she was just like, so listen, Sutton, I've just kind of noticed that for whatever reason, you seem to come at some of these ladies in the group when they're at their lowest. Oh.

And then you're as a viewer, you're like, hmm, yeah, I guess. And then she was like, well, you know, you kind of did it with me. You did it with Kyle. And now you're doing it with Dorit. And like Sutton just loses it. Oh, really? Well, because...

And then there's this whole semantics argument where Erica said, you bring the women down at their lowest. So Sutton's basically accused Erica of saying that Sutton hates all women or something. And Erica's like, well, no, here's three examples. That's the thing. She came with three examples and it was like... Yeah, after the sisterhood conversation. And it makes a lot of sense because Sutton always seems lovely. Justin's a huge Sutton fan. I'll defend her to the grave. Yeah.

And what is it? What is it about? Well, I mean, I base it in like my experience of meeting her. Like I think, but I think she's like, like she'll have a genuine conversation with you even if you are a normal person. And I think

And I just take it as... I take it as she says it how she sees it. Like, she's going to ask the questions people aren't asking. I will say I got a chance to meet her and she was lovely. She was very nice and it was... That's why I'm always sort of surprised on the show when she feels attacked. How...

how intense her comments to like it's it's it's further than like that hurt my feelings and I want to tell you it's like I want to hurt you so bad yeah she gets like vicious and as soon as you say like Sutton um can I and then you could see her just kind of mm-hmm

And just like, as soon as you give that note, she's like, I feel it. And it just cuts. And you're just like, well, I was just trying to, I do, I do feel for her. I feel, you know, I, you know, I think you, that comes from a lot of pain as, as well, but you know, it's such, and it's such a hard thing to deconstruct. Like, like Erica has done when you're feeling attacked, right.

You can step back, take a deep breath, figure out if you actually are being attacked. But I think when she feels attacked, she goes into super fight mode. And if she could snip that button to response and be able to take a breath and think, is this actually what's happening? I wish that for her, but it is fun to watch. Erica really has...

come a long way. I had always had a hard time with the whole earring controversy. Oh, yeah. I was like, just get away. Regardless, for her to be however they were able to live the lives that they lived back in the day when they lived this life of opulence and luxury, for her to lose seemingly all that, get this... Again, I'm sure it's a very lovely place. It's in Bev Hills, so I'm sure also probably still really expensive, but just the

And her to make the most of a completely different lifestyle and a complete, you know, it's hard for anyone. And there, you know, when a lot of people lose that much, they don't often pick themselves back up and reinvent themselves. Yeah. You've got to give her a lot of credit for that. Yeah. And I also really had a hard time when all of that stuff was happening when everyone was like, well, of course she knew what he was doing. Yeah.

She's not like in his law firm, like looking over the books. He definitely didn't seem like the type. Well, he definitely didn't seem like the type who at the dinner table was like, honey, let me tell you about all of my clients. That was supposed to go to a family of four, but I thought you would have looked good in these eyes. Yeah, I thought maybe you need a private jet. Oh, it's so awful. I've also seen a lot of rich people who have, you know, they have a certain lifestyle and when things start to like,

go wrong, they keep up appearances and it becomes like a pyramid scheme and they're borrowing. And so...

I think your much younger wife would be someone that you wouldn't be like, listen, I'm in trouble. You're trying to still keep up appearances of, I got you. I can do this. I can do this. And he was never my favorite. Oh, he was so horrible to her. I know. God, she's really come a long way. She's come a long way. We may never see another. Or what?

I know she was so she's so still though she's like a queen I keep on like studying her she's because she's so like powerful well I was on Dancing with the Stars with her way back when oh whoa and I'm a bit introverted outside of talking for a living um and so is Erica

Really? Yeah. But she's tall. She's beautiful. Sometimes I'll get criticism for being unapproachable or aloof or looking like my face looks like a dick, I've been told.

And Erica can be very intimidating. But when you go up to her and talk to her, she's so nice and chill and cool, but she is intimidating in person. And a lot of it is just kind of her quietness and she's comfortable just kind of sitting in the background. That's very nerve-wracking for people sometimes. Absolutely. I think she allows... I feel like I meet someone and I'm like, how can I show you that I'm not a threat? And she's just like, hello. Yeah.

You know, she has like, she doesn't matter what you think of her. She is very like in her body, which is cool. I don't need to talk to feel awkward. Exactly. That's a you problem. Exactly. I wish I had that. You should try. I'll try. Just go around being kind of calm and slightly. Or what?

Are there any Housewives franchises you guys enjoy these days? That's the main one. That's the only one we really watch. Also, I'm like you. For Kyle, I'm kind of like, she can do no wrong. That's what I'm like with Kyle, too. I just think she's at least trying and she's honest and she's trying to bring people together. Not that she's never made any mistakes, but I feel...

like she's a good person at heart. I feel that way too. I think also, I mean, in this episode you'll see, but like Garcelle really is just, she doesn't drop the Morgan Wade of it all. And it's like, I, I,

But I kind of get Garcelle's point of view. She calls out Sutton for basically being in Kyle's back pocket. It's like you're this with all the other ladies, but when it comes to Kyle, you always give her a pass. And then there's a moment in the episode where there's like an example of it where, you know, Kyle doesn't have Sutton's back, but Sutton doesn't call her out, but she'll call up the other women. Oh, right. Yeah.

I guess I get where Chris L is coming from because I could never do what these ladies do. The housewives, what they give to the audience. It's true. It's unbelievable. Do you think they like... You know there's that cartoon with the wolf and the sheepdog and they clock out at the end of the day. They fight all day and then they're like, morning, Fred. I feel like honestly they have to remain sane.

Right. I mean, it's like, but sometimes it's so mean that like, how can you can be like, that was too far. Well, talking to a lot of housewives, there's, there's real feelings that go outside of these episodes and these scenes. I think it's a mix of both. I think some of them, you know, it's a job. Right. But they're all, they are human beings. And when someone's just screaming at your face and calling you out, it's,

Intense. It's intense. And usually I don't think, you know, it's reality TV. So the, you know, the, the, the idea is no one's an actor or they're not, it's supposed to be authentic. So you're not like, Hey, I'm going to yell at you in 10 minutes. You're right. You just come in with, and you make a decision. You caught that person off guard. But I guess back to the Garcelle at all, I get it where it's just like, you know, we've been asked to do certain things and it's just like,

No, like, you know, we have the show. We like to share some things about our relationship and our family. We pick and choose. But like we get to decide what we're comfortable with. And we very much want to protect our relationship. That matters above all things. And you give up so much control of your life and you are expected to talk about these things. And I think I think with some of these ladies, they're just like, you know, yeah, Kyle, she's been there the whole time. She's the OG. She she is.

Beverly Hills housewives, you know, when some of them else are kind of forced to talk about things they don't want to, it would be frustrating to be like, well, come on, Kyle. Like, can we just get to the bottom of this thing that's not even that deep? And you're kind of putting it in our faces, but we're not allowed to talk about it. But I got to talk about like why my son or kid or my husband or partner or what rumors or...

Right. It's just like they always have to address these rumors. But to Erica's point, she was like, Garcelle keeps coming at Kyle for this Morgan weight of it all. And it's like, we know nothing about who Garcelle's fucking. It's like Garcelle just like will not let this Morgan. It's she was standing on the side of a stage and Morgan and Garcelle's like,

And what was that all about? You went to a concert? Yeah, that is strange. It seems like she just went to a concert. It wasn't like a picture of them canoodling. I mean, I guess that also at the same time, you can't, you know, have a show just be like, everything's pretty good. We've done a lot of work on ourselves. Feeling healthy? If they are, if there is some kind of secret romance, it's a very attractive couple. I have wound it up on Morgan Wade TikTok. Oh, yes. Where it's just people at her concerts.

And she does... Jessie's Girl? She does a rendition of that song. And I contemplate my sexuality while watching. And I understand where Kyle comes from. It all makes sense. She's so cool. Yeah, she's very cool. She seems so cool. Yeah. Yeah, there's something very appealing. I get it. I get it, Kyle. I also just like what she unlocks in Kyle. Kyle is having so much fun with her and feeling... I don't know, just feeling...

I don't know. I can't even. Who knows what they're doing. She's getting the tattoos. It's like fun and like life affirming and sweet and leave Kyle alone. It's her private life. So I was asking before we started recording, you guys have not jumped into Temptation Island yet. No, not yet. Is that something we could interest you in? Or is that too kind of smutty?

No, we've gone pretty low. Yeah, I mean, we watched Too Hot to Handle. Oh, well, then you need to watch Temptation. Because this is like that on...

Steroids. Steroids. Okay. It's crazy. It's four couples who come in. Some of them, one has been together for three and a half years. Okay. I think the one is like a year, so it's in between. It's like 20s, early 30s. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Later 20s, early 30s. So it's more of a younger cast. Right. Not like my four children and I. Yeah. Just thought we'd go on the show. Oh, is this the cast? So those are the four couples at the top. At the top. Okay. And then they

They sit together as couples as all of the women, the temptresses, walk by. And then they sit there as a couple as the tempters walk by. And then they get to, the temptresses and tempters, like, choose the person that they're interested in. Oh, wow. So, like, in front of your partner, this, like, beautiful woman in a bikini walks up and, like, puts a bracelet on Nick and is like, I'm so glad you're here. And you just, like, watch it. And then they go and move into a house. Yeah.

Oh. With these... Well, we love the ultimatum. Oh, yeah. So... Yeah. There's hidden cameras everywhere. It's very much like we have boundaries of like we will not cross a physical line and then they're like having shower sex the next scene with one of these two. And then the women...

go to a bonfire and they watch clips of what their boyfriend has been doing. Oh, no. Or girlfriend. But usually, as you might suspect, that the two different islands have two very different vibes. Yeah. Like, it's on the man's island with the women temperatures, it's party island. Yeah, it's party island.

Yeah. It's whipped cream. It's bikinis. And then on the women's side, it's like a therapy session of all the girls just kind of talking to all these guys about their boyfriends and kind of like, you know, he just doesn't listen, you know, like the way I want him to. Oh my God. And he just doesn't stop having sex with these temptresses. Exactly. And then like people like Taylor, you know, when the temptresses were giving, you know, coming out, what did he say? Like in front of his girlfriend. He was like, oh, that one in that bikini is insane. What? Like crazy.

crazy stuff. So are the tempters and temptresses just looking to mess up a relationship or are they looking, are they singles looking to be with someone? So yeah, they give us, they give them like confessionals. They allow you to like get to know. They humanize them in a good way. So they're not just there to be like, let me see if I can. No, they're like, listen, I want to like

potentially build a relationship with you. Maybe we could leave this island together and like not your girlfriend of four years, but me that you've known for two weeks. And so, yeah, they're all kind of. And then there's others who are like, I just want to mess stuff up. Yeah. I just want to see the world burn. No one really says that, but they're. Breon, his kind of story, his partner, Shantae, she's lovely, calm, seems so down to earth and just

I guess, right reasons not to steal anything from the Badger. And he is just like... I'm paraphrasing, but he's like...

my dick needs to have sex. Not me! This is a him thing. I want nothing to do with it. I'm on your side. The way God made me, I need to take care of my guy, you know? That's kind of how he talks. Shortly in, he has a threesome in a shower. Oh. Right after, he's like, yeah, didn't regret that. Basically as if he went to check off a box. Wow. And this Breon guy, and then there's this Grant guy, they clearly...

have never had like good role models. I don't think. And they seem to be very emotionally like stunted and immature. Yeah. Where like Grant also had sex with someone and then his confessional decided to forgive his girlfriend for, I'm not sure what he's like, I forgive you, you know? And he's talking, he's like, I'm not a bad guy. I just like, as if like the sex they're having on temptation Island is like something they owe to themselves. Yeah. And they don't regret it.

And it's just the way these guys talk through their bullshit. It's like a microscope into that age of man's brain. Yeah. Like how it works. And you're like this. In 2025. Yeah. Yeah. This is crazy. Like you've been with this girl for two and a half years. You've been away from her for four nights. And like you're already having sex with someone else. And then you're like, listen, I'm.

I'm not really sorry, but I forgive you for all of our past issues that we've ever had. Basically for not accepting him for who he is. It's wild. I mean, a man who just simply loves sex. What's so bad about that? I do feel like some people in this world...

to learn life lessons by going on a reality show and having the internet go, no, that's not... Not normal. Yeah. And maybe sometimes that doesn't even work. But...

Yeah, I think you would have to look at yourself if like universally there was like one response. It wasn't like, oh, there's like split. Like everyone's like, this is not a thing. And what's so crazy is that Breon, one of the temptresses that he's like kept, they kind of like send...

some of them home, the ones that they're not really connecting with, they send some home. But you can keep multiple temperatures. Yes. After a few days, I'm not sure what the timeline is, the host, Mark Wahlberg, he's great. He's also Mark Wahlberg. Not the Mark Wahlberg, but he's the other Mark Wahlberg. So Temptation Island actually has been... Season one, I watched when I was a sophomore in college in 2001. It's been around... It was on Fox and it's jumped around from...

I think it was on USA. It was on Peacock for a minute. Now Netflix has it, which is, I think, a really good thing. But he's the same host from years ago. But he, unlike, say, a Chris Harrison or a Jesse Palmer, no disrespect to them, and maybe the show doesn't ask him to do that. We love Jesse Palmer. Love Jesse Palmer. But every once in a while, Jesse comes out. I don't know if you guys remember. Did you watch Clayton's season when he was like, I love you all!

and jesse comes out he's like well good luck you know he's just like like the bachelor will come out and just go i don't i don't yeah i'm really in a lot of trouble here and just like yeah yeah you sure i'm excited to see how you what you do yeah and mark is very much like giving like real genuine advice like real thoughtful and it's just weird because it's this kind of smutty show where they're doing threesomes and then these fireside chats mark's like so wow like

that's like some real deep childhood stuff going on here. And then, you know, you're like, wait, wait, what's wrong? That's like the, the Jerry Springer effect. I remember I used to like watch that show and just be like, oh, and then at the end, he'd be like, you know what guys listen, be kind to each other. And always had like a Jerry's final thoughts. And they were like,

Pretty profound. Yeah. What did that charity through, you know? Yeah, exactly. You didn't stop any of those fights. Uh, but, but you're right, Jerry. Let me ask you guys a question. If someone said to someone, well, maybe you said to your wife, you're just like, there's only one Jason and there's only one Melanie.

Would you find, what would that mean to you? Like if, if in the context of. Like you've been around a bunch of temptresses the whole time and like you want to. You sent a video. Oh, and you were like. Say I was on the other island and I get this video from Jason. And he goes, I just want you to know there's only one Jason and there's only one Melanie.

So annoying. So annoying. Because they were like, wow, that's really romantic on that show. And I'm like, I don't even know what that means. I mean, also his name was Lino and I don't know a lot of Lino. So yeah, I was like, oh, maybe there's a real Lino. Probably a Lino. Yeah, yeah. But her name is Alexa. That's pretty common. Yeah.

So, okay. I didn't understand. So it's... So you're talking about someone who talks about themselves in the third person. I guess. Which is always... He said it like it was so profound. And I'm like, well, first, I don't know. I mean, I guess, but... Huh? Like a... But if so, I...

did you have sex with someone else or not? Like, my point is, there's only one. And when I did, it wasn't as good as it is with you. You know? There's only one of you. It is a crazy show and I feel like every, my jaw has just dropped the entire show because you're like, oh,

oh my god, these people, how are you doing this? I know you guys have a lot of TV to catch up on. That does sound interesting. It does sound really interesting. Some of these shows... If you liked Ultimatum. We do like the Ultimatum, but we like the Ultimatum because it's like, some of these shows, people's fixation on bodies, it's like they don't know anything about people other than what they look like, and then people are like, oh, my type. That's not my type. It's like...

Who has such a specific type when you don't, don't you need to know things about people? I feel so scared for like the world sometimes. Because it's like the things that make you fall in love with a person, like people that I've been with, it's like all over the map. Like nobody looks like each other. It's so strange to have like a type, I think.

and stick to it so religiously. - Well, they say it like right when they meet someone, they're like, "You're just so my type." - "You're my type." And they're like, "Oh, thank you so much." - It's like your blonde extensions and your big, thick boobs are just really my type. - But that's what it is, is distilling people down to like, not even just bodies, but like body parts, parts of a body that you find appealing. And then the humanity is like stripped away. And of course, like men like that are gonna go on a show and be like, "Well, I get to fuck whoever I want."

Because there are body parts that are appealing to me and I'm used to these other body parts. And it's like this, I don't know, it just feels like the death of like empathy and feeling. And people get so detailed on it. It's like, well, my type is blue eyes. I know. Yeah.

So no green eyes at all. Yeah, even though you have green eyes, I'm finding you attractive. It's like, what's happening? Thanks for really listening to me and paying attention to what I said. Yeah, exactly. Wow, we're really connecting, but different hair color. I'm just more of a

So strange to me. And then you feel bad because like, again, what was, what's her name? Rihanna's lady. Shantae. Shantae. She, again, she comes across as such like a- No, I just was feeling for Shantae. What a horrible- Oh my God, you're going to feel- You really do. If you watch it, because she just seems like such a good person.

- Yeah. - And he seems like the exact opposite. I mean, it's edited, so you don't know. But what we're seeing of Breon is not great. - It's trouble. - And he lacks kind of any empathy

for her and any kind of thought that his decisions will impact her whatsoever. And it's just so hard to see her, but I have, you know, because I see this a lot in, in real life in dating culture where it's like, you see this person and you're like, they're, they seem smart and put together and self aware and have everything else going in their life. And then you meet who they're dating and they're just like, and they treat them terribly. And then, and then she'll say things like, but I just love them so much. And I'm like, what?

Exactly. Yeah. About them.

People are so mysterious. Do you love? I always love to ask people, what do you love about how they make you feel? When you ask people that question, their eyes go, it's like their brain breaks because they never thought of it in those contexts about how I feel. Because it's like, well, it sounds like you've been miserable for, I don't know, a period of time, maybe a year. And I'm like, well, what do you mean you love? Because it sounds like you're confused and upset and hurt constantly. But you see that people struggle with that. They decide they love someone

probably maybe early in the relationship or whatever. And then they just kind of

the love that they have seems more based off of just like time invested. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I think also sometimes like you can, you get to know somebody and you know their story and you know what, what trials and tribulations they came through. And so then you make excuses for the behavior that comes from that. Cause you're like, Oh, but I know I see their little child, you know, like I see who, what's going on, but there's no expectation to have them, um,

or be better. You're just so you're not sort of seeing that daily. You're getting this behavior towards you. And I also think sometimes it's it's easier to have a clear bad guy in the relationship. If you're both really trying, then you're both going to be the bad guy at different times. And that's uncomfortable for people. It's much easier for some people to go meet with their friends and complain. Yeah. But also it's

It's also a lot less scary to have your own negative self-belief reinforced back to you than it is to believe in your own goodness and worth. And people just fall into traps where they don't feel good about themselves. They're with someone who makes them feel worse. And it's just like a cycle. They're just like, well...

This makes sense to me. This works with my brain because that's what I'm already telling myself. Right. Yeah. And they feel like also some people feel like, well, that's true. Anybody being nice to me is someone wanting something from me. But someone being mean to me, that's real. I can count on that. Sure. You know, which is sad. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you guys are also in some really cool and exciting shows.

You obviously are in yellow mirror and I'm on temptation Island. Yeah. She's crazy. Matt locks a lot of fun. Oh, thanks. It's just fun to see you in, in, you know, out there and in like blowing up and,

It's been great to see. And then obviously Yellow Jackets is a huge hit. How many seasons now is it on? Three. Yeah, the third season is airing right now. How do you guys manage your busy lives, your love for watching TV together, working, being two working parents, but also very, very family oriented? How do you guys all make that work? Yeah, I mean, it's definitely... I think we both...

want to make it work. And when we first got together, there's sort of an element of spontaneity that you can just sort of do like, oh, I have a job and it's over in this country. So, you know, yeah. And it becomes and you can even do that for the first couple of years with your child. But once they get into school, we had a sense that when our daughter started kindergarten that we wanted a little bit more stability. And yeah, so Matlock has been such a gift.

gift because it films here so yeah when i was doing yellow jackets and jason was filming i was going back and forth to vancouver and sometimes i'll go up and do a day and come back you know she came back a lot i came back every time every chance i got and most of the older cast is doing that because a lot of us have kids so there's not a lot of like hanging out together time it's nice when you do get to how's vancouver do you like filming in vancouver yeah it's really nice yeah yeah

Yeah. We've never been. Oh, nice. A lot of great playgrounds. It's really good for kids. A lot of great kids stuff. Is it really rainy there? Yes. It is. Yeah. But I'm from New Zealand, so I'm used to it. Does your daughter have a New Zealand accent or an American accent? On some woods. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She definitely... I didn't notice it at first, but then all of a sudden I heard you say something and I was like, oh my gosh, that's how...

How cool. Also when you hear other little kids talk and they just fully have an American accent. Yeah. She doesn't. Yeah. She has a little accent. Oh, that's sweet. And she's also lived in so many different places since she was born. She's so cool. Especially like the sound. She's so sweet. Or like f-

four or something like that. She says it much more like four. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's like I remember when my niece was, I don't know, three, maybe four. And she was Peppa Pig was everywhere. And she had a British accent for a while. Like copying Peppa Pig. Getting to know you, Jason, it feels like you are a very involved father. Like you guys seem like very much like a team. And Nali and I very much try to emulate that and do that. Because what I've learned is

being a dad early on is that especially for dads and maybe even some parents but like i think there's a lot of people who want to have kids yeah you know and it's like i want to be a dad someday but then i think there are people who like love being parents yeah you know um and i feel very lucky now that i talk to us about this a lot that i feel very lucky that i'm we're with each

two people who like, we, we love being parents and we love like, you know, sharing the responsibilities of, of raising her because like we, we, we like it, you know, and I feel very fortunate. And I think we both feel very fortunate. And I, you know, just from a very far, cause I don't know you guys that well. And I see interviews and your social medias, but you guys seem like you both,

together as a team really enjoy being a family, being a team, being parents. It's just really fun and inspiring to see because like you don't see that all the time. And as a couple that very much tries to emulate that, it's really nice and fun to see.

I thank you. That's very nice. I, I, yeah, I, I, I feel very lucky. Are you going to cry? No. No. I cry all the time. I do cry all the time. No, I think it's yeah. I, I, I mean, we talk about all the time how, you know, we, it's so, it's a lot of work and it's a lot of fun, but it's also a lot. And so, you know,

you would want, the luckiest thing would be to be with someone who also wants to be a parent as much as you do. Like that, it's such a. I can't imagine doing it with someone who's like, oh God, that's so annoying. Yeah, I never wanted something like that. You want me to bathe her tonight? Come on. Right, exactly. It's like a kind of this thing that's going around is like,

You know, I'm so happy that I picked someone who wants to be a husband and a father versus someone who wants a wife and babies. And it's such like that. Oh, I like that. Oh, right. Yeah, that's, yeah, exactly. There's definitely a difference. I never thought about it until I was a dad. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want someone like if I was like, oh, you know, her daughter. So bizarre. Sometimes like people will be like, oh, my husband's babysitting tonight.

And it's like, he's not babysitting. Just with his kid. You're not paying him to do it. He's parenting like you would. You wouldn't say, I'm babysitting tonight. Right. It's interesting. It is funny to see the reactions to a single dad at the park versus a single dad. There's always like a...

oh wow, you're here. I'm like, yeah, sometimes I just take my daughter to the park. And then you see a mom like nursing a baby, pushing one in a stroller with like four dogs on a leash. And they're like, yeah, thank you, keep doing what you're doing. But look at this guy. I know. Someone has to point out what she's doing wrong. I have a celebrity friend who was talking about, you know, they're also active parents. And when he takes their kids to school, he's treated like, people are just like, oh my God. Yeah.

You're here to drop off? But when she brings this cool, you know, and they're a celebrity couple like you guys, and it's just like, oh, yeah, sure, mom brought the kids to school. It's like the credible standard. It's always kind of like this weird thing. Yeah. You need more people like us, Jason. I know. Somebody said to me when someone was like, Jason does drop off a lot. And I was like, yeah.

Why do we need to have a further conversation? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not like, I'm so grateful. It's like, yeah. Yeah. He does his part. Yeah. I am so grateful. Yeah. Yeah. But like normalize. We did both sign up for this. Yeah. So we are both doing just our part, you know? Yeah. It's, it's, you know,

Anyways, it's fun to have a... Sorry, we're healthy. I'm happy for you guys. Healthy couples. I know. I just can't imagine doing it with somebody who's not as invested. I remember my...

mom, she was like, whenever I told her about Nick, she was like, I'm just so grateful that he like has never been married or hasn't had children before because she married my dad after he had three kids. And she was like, you know, the first time I was pregnant, I was like, oh my God, the baby kicked. And she would say my dad would be like, cool. Because like he had been through it so many times. So like nothing was like as exciting as it was for her. And she was like, I'm so excited that you have someone who's just like equally excited.

on that. Go through it all together. After River was born, her mom was very graciously there to help. And like the first couple days she was looking, I just kept noticing her being like, because I was just like involved. He was like cleaning my breast pumps and would like get them charged. And she was just like, this is crazy. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, like another generation. It's the worst job. 92 parts. Yeah. I got real good at it. I was also a very good swaddler. Oh, yeah, I was a good swaddler, too. I think some of the stuff that I like, I don't know, maybe it's just like there's certain things we can't do the way mom can. Right, of course. And I feel like all the things that I could do that, like, you know, whether it's cleaning pumps or swaddling, it's like, I'm going to dominate this task. I saw recently someone, um,

This older guy he said his kids were like in college now But he was like one piece of advice I could give to parents with young children is like make everything a game Like everything that you do like you're sitting at a diner and you like do like blind taste tests of the syrup like you just like make everything that you do this just like fun game so that like they will I think it's like not needing screens or whatever, but it was just like a fun way to think of like

involving your kids in everything you do. Like, instead of distracting them, you involve them and, like, you give them... You know, it's a cool... That is a cool... That still works on me. How do you guys manage screen stuff? Because that is something that makes us... You know, we don't have to worry about it now. She's so young. Yeah. Um... You know, I...

We try to limit it, but she also... I think the key is that we talk about it with her and it's not just like... She's not just sort of zoned out. And also she still loves going outside and going to the park. And if there was ever a moment where it was like tantrum because I just need more iPad, then I would feel like, oh, we've gone too far. But we do other things with her that are...

So she wants to do the other things. Yeah. She wants to play. She wants to draw. She wants to do a puzzle. She wants to go somewhere, you know? So it's, I think you have to give them other options. Yeah. Otherwise, of course they're going to want to play. Natalie taught me how to be excited about everything. Now, wherever, anything new we present, she goes, ooh,

Cause we just started doing that to anything new. We're like, wow. And now she just mimics anything. She goes, Oh, sweet. Uh,

Oh my gosh. Well, we know you guys have to get going and we thank you for your time. It was just fun to catch up with you guys. Yeah, yeah. So fun. And hear about you, what's up with you guys and all your fun projects. Anything you guys want to plug before we let you go? Yellow Jackets is coming out every Friday with new episodes, I think, unless there's a break. I don't think so. I don't know. Yes, Friday. Fridays, yeah. Fridays. Right?

Yeah. And then Matlock is on Thursdays, but not these next two Thursdays. There's three episodes left starting on April 3rd. And it's like it all. There are three really great ones. Anytime.

I was homesick growing up. I was like hoping a Matlock episode was on back in the day. It's so nostalgic to see it back on. It's great to have you be a part of it, man. It's so much fun. I'm having a great time. It's great, man. Well, congratulations to all your guys' success and it's great to catch up with you guys. Thanks for coming on. Thanks for having us. It's so nice.

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I just love Jason and Melanie. I've always been a big fan of Jason's. I mean, for those of you guys who don't know, Jason's dad, like a legend. Through his company? Yeah. Which I actually saw John Ritter, for those of you guys who don't know, sadly passed away many years ago.

And yeah. And then Jason, you know, has been in the biz for a while and it's been fun to see him become more and more successful. Obviously, we know Melanie has been in so many things. I just. I feel like every time. I feel like anytime you turn on a movie or a TV show, it's like, oh, my God, there's Melanie Lutzky. You know, it's like she's in just everything. Oh, she's a great character. Yeah. Yeah. I always forget she has an accent because she's so good. I know. That it's just like, oh, yeah.

from here are you yeah no it's wild i hope they do watch temptation island i'm like so sad i think we i only have like two episodes left how would you feel uh i know you've been in love for a while and you know but let's say you had some random hookup sex and then and then he called you cute

No, adorable. Adorable. Yeah, no. There's a lot of things that I must have done. And if adorable is it, like a pat on the head, like, good job, babe. I don't ever want to hear the word adorable and me associated in the same sentence. Who said this? Grant, whenever he wrote his letter to Natalie, he was like, you're so cute and adorable. And it was like, we were just fucking in the shower like last night and now I'm adorable. What?

Because Tyler also said dear, and I think about that pretty often. I'm like, what is the language we're using here? Well, times have changed. Well, he also, in his letter to Natalie, said, I yearn for you. Yeah, Grant wrote that. I guarantee you he wrote that and go, this is good. This is real good. Ooh, I cringed a little. Nice. Yearn. He's like, what's a big word I could use? They like Pride and Prejudice. He's like, I am Jane Austen. I am Mr. Darcy. Dear. Grant is a perfect example of...

of tall privilege because the confidence that man has truly and I'm I'm just not sure where else he's getting that confidence other than the fact that he seems to be like six three six four you know he's attractive too you think I don't they're all attractive this guy you think Grant is like I think he's conventionally attractive yeah

He seems like the type of guy that can go out and get what he wants. Yeah, exactly. He acts as if he's never been told no. He lacks... I don't think him and... They look like they haven't had no role models. Who? Him and who? Most of the guys. Okay. Well, because they're all just operating with such like...

low character traits. It's like, how have you never had someone be like, hey, that's actually not how you treat someone that you would say that you love. It was like the Brion explaining his like cheating being like, well, this is what's happening here. But like, it's not real. And it's like, bro, you guys are going to leave together. And what you did here not only exists in real life, but it is filmed to replay.

to show how little you fucking cared. So it's just like the idea that you think that these are two separate ideas of like, oh, I can hook up in Fantasy Island. I do wonder if there's like a part of them that maybe they talked about before where it was like, hey, if I can get it to happen where I can have a threesome,

Like no way you would think so. But her reaction to finding out, I think it obviously would be hard for anyone to watch, but I feel like the way that he was just talking about it so openly and he's like,

listen no like I don't need to go in that tent like I'm here to show everything I don't need to hide anything like I'm here to be open and honest it seemed very much like I know she's gonna forgive me I don't regret that this is what I can't you know well that's no but that's why I find so sad about that situation and I think there's a lot of relationships out there where you know one person just knows they just have to like wear that other person out you know like

Like Shantae, they did the video and they had the fireside chat and she steps away

And it's like you they both know they're going to like I think they're going to end up together. I don't I think Shantae and Breon leave together as a couple because the energy they give is this is like he just like he knows he's in the doghouse now, but he's not he doesn't give a fuck. He's not worried at all about her like saying I'm done with you. It's like he knows that's like he's just not worried. And even her she acts like she's hurt. She's upset. She can't believe he did this.

But there's really no like, I'm done with this. It's more like she steps away to figure out how can I process this and get through it? And it's like you can tell there's like this unspoken understanding between them, which is what I think you're kind of referring to, but I don't think it's like a pact or an actual understanding. It's like this unspoken thing where...

He just knows that he has all the power and control in this relationship. And so when he decides to have a threesome because he's never had one yet and this is the perfect opportunity to do it, he just doesn't give a fuck. And then Grant, I feel like that's the difference in Grant and Ashley is that she at least is kind of like, fuck this guy. You know, like she she kind of came into Temptation Island being like right away, being like, he's too cocky. He's kind of a piece of shit, whatever.

Maybe he's followed through. But his ability to just be like, I love you. And I'm, I still like, it's like now that he's had sex, he's like ready to love her again. But like he did her a favor. But because she didn't send a video back.

He's ready to invest in Natalie. But if she would have sent a video back, then like he probably still would have left with Ashley, but would have hooked up with Natalie a few more times before they left. I mean, like Grant and Brianna have they it is all about them. It is everything about their relationship is about how they feel about

And that's really all that matters. You know, like they, you know. Well, and that's what Amaya said whenever she was like, I'm declining your date because you like the way you're operating is I'm like not down for that. And I give her so much props for being able to be like, I know.

I know this is like technically my role here, but I'm not down with the way that you're treating her. Yeah. Like I wish that Shantae kind of, especially seeing like another woman say that to your long-term partner, that's where it'd be like, if she can't even do it in a week, what am I doing? Right. I think the only positive thing Breon thinks about women is that they're useful. For threesomes till the birds come chirping. Like, you know, I think a lot of times, you know, we'll say things like, oh, he hates women or she hates men or whatever. And I think sometimes it's a little,

generalized because like maybe they're someone's fighting with a partner and you know that they act mean but he really just the way he's treating the whole all the temptresses and his you know it's just it's very objectification it's very like the way he had that threesome and then like got in the bed didn't say anything to him like let him leave and let one of them pick one out Courtney she had a threesome and she got booted early oh yeah okay drop the show yeah it

It's like, and he goes, yeah, she's cool, but you know, I'm good. And then whenever Amaya, before she declined the date, is like sitting on the bed with him and they're having that conversation, she's like, you know what? Like, I don't feel comfortable having this. And she like gets up and he's like, people are so fucking weird, man. It's like, huh? And she can still hear you. Yeah. And she's like, what? When we're watching Shantae, she just looks like this is a good person. This is a cool person. Like she's grounded. But he is...

on fucking mars no even after the threesome he does his uh interview and he's like well maybe we'll see if we can get amaya and one of the other girls in bed next yeah an angel yeah and i was just like you have no remorse you do not feel bad and then he sits there being like okay well now that it's time for me to probably get back with my girlfriend you know like i just know i want to be the man that she expects me to be it's like i can't help but be kind of happy for tyler and k they're kind of adorable you're not

I think Taylor has the potential of sometimes being a little Karen-ish. I didn't love the, like, he has bitch tendencies and, like, I'll say that to his face. Like, I'll say that till the day I die or, like, whatever her little... You know what? Like, watching Taylor, it reminded me just, like, how many... I think how many ladies out there are looking for useful idiots. And I think if you're a lady out there dating a man...

If you treat your guy or think of him as kind of a useful idiot, he's gonna eventually hate you. That's a recipe for resentment. I think there's a difference between like giving your partner shit and fucking with each other. But when you start like rolling your eyes and like everything that comes out of their mouth is either stupid or dumb or why do you say that?

And they're just like essentially useful idiots to you. Everything they do annoys you. Yeah. And I think that like sitcoms, it's always like smart mom, useful idiot husband, you know? And I think a lot of our, you know, on a quantum honesty sitcoms we grew up on were kind of gave that vibe. And I think that's, there's a lot of relationships out there where like the man in the relationship is thought of as kind of a useful idiot. And that is like a number one way. I promise you ladies that your husband's going to hate you if he doesn't already. It's kind of the same way if like the other way around, if you treat your,

you know, for the men, if you treat your spouse just like a constant, you know, nag or whatever, resentment is probably the number one thing that leads to an end of a relationship.

And just like, yeah, like Taylor just seems to, Tyler obviously has his flaws. And like, I do think he's very inexperienced. He comes across as someone who really blossomed in his twenties. Well, he said he had only had one relationship prior to Taylor, right? He got married, he got married like as a teenager and then like met Taylor to basically get out of that marriage. And so like, here's a guy who's

kind of really hasn't lived some real life. So I kind of cut him a little slack. I think Tyler is a good soul. You know, not perfect and definitely maybe does or says things he shouldn't say, but he seems like a good one. It is hard, though, to watch these couples like crack in just days. It's like, come on. I will give Kay credit, though, that I was like the whole...

I'm just going to make him take me to his room so then he can start envisioning me in his room or something. And I was like, that is some psychology 101. You did the studies. Yeah. And it proved to work. Well, something that excited me yesterday, I really had a craving for Taco Bell. So I ordered it last night. And I don't know if you are following Taylor Frankie Paul. I am.

She posted a while back on TikTok that she goes to Taco Bell, gets a Baja Blast, and then brings it home and makes it dirty by adding coffee creamer to it. Well, genius. That sounds insane. It's so good. And they do it with the frozen slushy version of it. I had it last night. Mind blown. But she has a collaboration with Taco Bell. So it is like for her. And they gave her an award for that. She has the menu hack of the year.

And she received that over the weekend. And let me tell you, it was game changing for me. I love the Baja Blast. How do I get a collaboration with Chick-fil-A? You kind of have to start posting your obsession with Chick-fil-A. Or like do your own, like what do you add to yours? What do you take off? Like what's the sauce? What's the recipe? And then maybe get your own sandwich. Like get Natalie's way. Right. DM the brand. But they're kind of problematic. Yeah, 100%.

Well, yes, definitely. Yep. Yes, definitely. I just want to point it out. No, they are. I also think they're overrated chicken sandwiches, by the way. Yeah.

I'm also convinced that Taco Bell is owned by stoners because everything that comes on their menu just makes me think that it's like somebody just sat there and was like, what if we made a taco out of Doritos? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just such high food. They'll put cheese on cheese. I don't eat Taco Bell, but I see those photos and I'm like, mm. You know what? We're going to do a Mexican pizza, but then we'll do a Crunchwrap. And what if we put the tortilla around the Mexican pizza? Crunchwrap supreme. Great.

Sorry. Food for stoners by stoners. That's true. Tell me I'm wrong. And I don't even like Taco Bell that much, so I don't have a problem. Up next, we have a very hilarious comedian. Ari Shafir is with us. He's got a new Netflix special out called America's Sweetheart. If you like some dark comedy and giggle about things that feel a little naughty, you are in for a treat because that is what's up next.

The Vol Files is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing a budgeting game? Well, with the Name Your Price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Prices and coverage match. Limited by state law. Not available in all states.

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Results may vary based on start weight and adherence to diet, exercise, and program goals. Data based on independent studies sponsored by Future Health. Future Health is not a healthcare services provider. Meds are prescribed at provider's discretion. Oh my god, it's actually really long. Your one sheet.

Oh, yeah, it got me thinking. Yes. Wow. Yeah, I don't know. You're so talented. You've done so much in your life. How old are you? A hundred? Yeah, the question is, what are you passionate about? It's like, oh. I've got to say, thank you, by the way. Like, you really took the time. It was a good question. It wasn't meant to be homework. It was a good question. It got me thinking on the plane, and I was like, oh, what do I care about? Do I give a shit about life? Yeah. I was like, should I pull the ripcord on this plane and just get out of here?

- All right, ready? - Yeah. - Okay. - I kind of feel like we already started, that was funny. - Yeah, what's one thing people don't think you guys are passionate about that you are? I'll start, hi guys, welcome to the vile files. - What is one thing that you're passionate about that people don't think that you are? - No, no, no, I'm just asking you. - Mine is people not walking on a sidewalk when there's a sidewalk to walk on. - It's frustrating, the bikers especially, when they have their own dedicated bike lane. - Yeah. - Ooh.

I got one for you. Yeah. And it's specifically against comedians, not you specifically. I love it. Perfect. Nobody hates comics more than comics. So, yeah. And I'm definitely more like, I kind of like that I feel like culturally not to trigger anyone. I feel like we're allowed to be a little more funny these days. You know, you have some dark humor, some raunchy humor. Almost all. Yeah. I quite enjoy it. But like, listen, you know, comedy, it's an art form, you know? Yeah.

And as I've been told by comics, but every once in a while. Such a lead up. Every once in a while. There might be people online or people in podcasts, like maybe critiquing a comment or just being like, I didn't find that funny. And then some comics will be like, you know, I'm a comic, right? Babies. They're such babies. I don't give a, yeah, I know your comic. And I guess I didn't, I didn't know that was a joke.

Sorry. Uh, and I guess I didn't know everything you say falls under the category of I'm fucking joking. Uh,

And they take themselves real too seriously. - Oh, they're such babies. - I'll tell you who I'm talking about after we get done recording. - Okay, okay, that's smart. - Watching me like, that's my favorite person ever. - We already triggered them. - We're dating. - You know where comics fucked up is that they said like, we're just joking, we're just joking, and then they got super serious and political, and then the audience is like, well, how do I know when you are joking? - Literally. - What? - Yeah. - And then it's always like, if they ever get criticism, it's, but I'm a comic. - Yeah. - And it's like, okay.

I prefer like in a live show when somebody leaves angry, like you suck. And they leave and you just kind of watch them go. I mean, they're not wrong. Anyway, it's like, I mean, your, your opinion's fine. You're right. And, and, and the way that some celebrities hold on to their humanity and how most lose it. Yeah. Like, and you give an example, Chapel Roan telling fans,

that they need to leave her alone at the supermarket versus Taylor Swift breaking up with her boyfriend because dumb fans got worked up over a joke about someone else's fake stage name. I don't remember the Taylor Swift one. Taylor Swift was dating the guy from 1979. Oh, yes. And he made a joke on a podcast that's not around anymore, Mullen and Stavros' podcast, about I-Spice. And he was like, oh, is she like an Eskimo rapper?

But she's not. She just called herself Ice Spice. And she broke up with him. The internet was like, that's, I guess, racially insensitive. But he's like, she's not.

she's not that like i don't know whatever and then they went out and then taylor swift's like yeah i'm all a product so you're out yeah you're out i'll just date a different product yeah to get bigger yeah and it's like yeah immediately after so you love chapel roan being like i'm not yeah like leave me alone i'm not working you get me when i'm on stage and you get my music

And then like, I'm a human. Because she just got famous. So she hasn't been removed from her humanity yet. She went to zero to a million. She got so famous. Like that. Yeah. So she's still living in her head in that like, I'm just a normal person world. Who wasn't recently? Was it like Scarlett Johansson? I think maybe that's wrong. But was like, I only take photos with fans in professional settings. Like I will not take a photo with a fan if I'm just like getting a coffee. That's pretty good. Because I don't want people to know like where...

I am in the, like it was like a, you don't deserve. I get it. Like Billie Eilish still lives at home with her parents in the house she grew up in. Dork. Move out. Get an apartment at least. You can afford a one bedroom. If I can, you can. Get some cabinet space, lady. Why don't, why aren't you watching reality TV? I feel like it would be really good. Like, cause,

Cause I'll get hooked. It's the same reason I don't do like fantasy football. It'll be all my time. I watched one season of survivor and I was like, I couldn't turn it off.

It's so hard. It's fine. I do like it. It's trash. But it's fun. Trash. It's like Fast and Furious. Are you America's sweetheart? I am. I'm the nicest guy in America. How did you come up with that title for your special? Because everybody hates me. But I'm trying to get people to stay positive. Do you think everyone hates you? No, but I try to go dark. Yeah.

You do go dark. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes people are like, what a terrible person. Did you get much heat for that COVID joke? Which COVID one? Which one? You talked about everything has a silver lining. Yeah. Like COVID. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, some people died, but some of them are... Some of them are complete...

Yeah, some of them are fucking shitty people. You know you wish death on some people 10 years ago and then they died in a new way. They weren't aware of it. So it's like great. I didn't imagine it that way, but I'll take it. Yeah. Remember going outside?

during COVID and just like walking in the middle of Ventura and like no one's gonna come hit you it was eerie it was like that in New York too and you're like you take the best pictures you literally stay in the middle of Fifth Avenue yeah yeah you don't take cars out there's just no one there it's pretty nice are you a part-time influencer no no I was wondering why you're doing photo shoots in the middle of the street oh yeah just because you could I guess yeah it was like this is a cool pic um part-time influencer is that a thing part-time influencers I love it I

Have you done any jokes about being a son of a Holocaust survivor or is that like way too far? Tugs. Yeah, yeah. How does... Mother, father? Dad. Dad. Yeah, grew up in Romania. Thank God. He was pretty far east. Does he find them funny or... Yeah, he understands like the...

There's two ways to go about dark jokes. Taking them, it's either like, this is awful, or like, oh, they know it's awful. That's why it's funny. Taking light of something. Right. If you make fun of dropping a slice of pizza, it's just not that funny. Because it's not that bad. But if you make fun of the Holocaust, then it's like, oh, making light of that is so different than how you should react. So he gets it. He's like, you're actually showing how terrible it is. He's not at home crying because his son doesn't understand.

- Yeah, the people who get upset at comedy jokes is really just 'cause it's a new art form. So people don't quite know how to take it. And they're like, "It's you speaking about your own feelings "with your own name." Versus a naked lady painting is like, we know by now that's not an actual naked lady. But then even, I don't know, when photography got big, people were like, "This is smut, remember that?" And it was like, "No, it's not. "It's just a black and white photo of a naked dude "with a nice dong."

With a huge dick. But like no one's actually coming for the dong. It's for like the, you know, the lighting and stuff. It's in sepia. It's a beautiful cock. Yeah, sepia dong, yeah. Sepia dong should be a name someone's podcast. Are you currently watching Sex and the City or the new one? The old one. Oh, thank God. And I am loving it.

- Okay. - I assume you guys have seen it? - Oh yeah. - It's the worst written show possibly of all time. I can forgive them for writing men terribly because it's not about the men on purpose. It's about these women and their friendships. - But which one are you?

I will tell you, I used to hate the redhead. And then I've realized finally, after seeing the new one. I'm a Miranda. You're Miranda. Yeah. I'm starting to like her. Yeah. No, she's the only one who makes any fucking sense. She's the redhead. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And why does she make sense? Because she's not a fucking hypocrite. She's not like.

she's not there like carrie yeah the worst friend worst friend in the world the worst friend anytime somebody's like oh my god i'm having a terrible time and she's just leafing she's like i know right somebody stood you up just leafing through like letters like anyway so i'm out of cigarettes can you believe it and he was like no this is your friend's moment no and she will bulldoze through anyone uh in the name of getting her way with big oh my god and it's like he's a bad guy yeah were you team aiden or team big i

I mean, I think they both should have just murdered her. Also, the guy was like, you're just constantly starting fights with me. I see it from big side. But also, like, he's not the guy for you. The first time she broke up with him, they were going on vacation, and they're on the sidewalk, and she, like, wants a... I think, was it she wanted a commitment or something? Like, two weeks of dating? Two way too early. He's taking her on a trip, and because he's... And then she's like, well, no, then I'm just not going. And it's like...

And he's just like, what lady? I mean, her blowjobs must have been so epic for him to put up with that. And every time he comes over, he's like, we're late. Let's go. And she's like, I'm getting ready. I can't pick out which shoes I want. And then he lights up a cigar, which is like an hour and a half smoke. And I'm like, you're already late. This is crazy. This doesn't make any sense. We definitely don't have time for that. Yeah. Like, what are you doing? She just shows up to where his parents are. I'm like, this is out of line, lady. You can't be doing this. Did you watch the new one?

Or no? It was pretty brutal. Once Big died, I was... Big did right away. Spoiler alert. Immediately. The first episode is the Peloton death scene that's like... No, we're... I mean, they really completed her being terrible in general because she just watched him die. And didn't even... She's like, oh, you're still... Okay, now you're dead. That did rock me. I was like crying, I think, for the rest of the day being like, you can't ever eat on...

Peloton? Please, you're my age. Well, I am older than her, so it was immediately like, you know, trauma from like dating an older man. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure you've been there. You must be like, yeah, okay, this could happen. Yeah. Someday. And did you know that a new study just came out that- Apparently I'm six times more likely to have a heart attack. Marijuana smokers are six times more likely to have a heart attack. What? But we're chill. Not chill enough. Clearly.

Clearly. What? Oh, it's because we run out of weed. We get real upset. Yeah, and you get like bad anxiety and you get like itchy. Six times more likely? Six times. But I said more than what? That's hard to believe. More than what? The average person. What is the average? Because I said zero times six is still zero. Damn, that's good math.

But it is at the end of the day just math and doesn't make any sense in the story. Who's the zero? Six times more likely than someone who isn't already predisposed to cardiovascular events. I don't know what that means. Yeah, what's cardiovascular? Is that even a word? That's because you've smoked so much weed it's fucking up the brain cells in your head. My grandfather and dad have had heart attacks.

So, yeah. So technically it's double. Oh my God. My father was a Holocaust survivor and almost none of them smoke weed and they didn't live long. So really, you live longer. Get there. Get there. Get there. I'm gay. Oh my God. He wrote, we asked. Wait, wait, wait, wait. There's more on Sex and the City. Okay. Okay. She's a sex columnist in not the 1930s, in the 90s to 2000s. And she's like, a threesome?

Could I? What? In New York fucking city. She's the most prudish person in the goddamn world. She also has a very small column and a very nice apartment control department. Uh-huh. A brownstone at that. Yeah. She's on a bus. She's on a bus. She's on a fucking bus. Yeah, she's popular. And she's only one who won't show her boobs the whole show. That's separate. That's an actor thing, not the character. Yeah.

And that's a personal gripe you have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Samantha is, some could say too nude.

Yeah. No, no, no, none could say that. No bad naked for you. You didn't watch that sign up. I mean, listen, girls had some bad nudity, but the show girls, the show girls. Yeah. It was like, all right, Lena, chill. We get it. Not every episode. You can do it once in a while. You're brave. Not every fucking episode. Somebody told her she was brave after the first season. She's like, I'm going to brave every eight minutes. Like no one's this naked. I'm not that naked around my own apartment. No one's there.

put a robe on do something who cooks eggs with their fucking pussy out sorry I'm getting too dirty for this podcast I apologize I'm a bad person you guys that's crazy do you refer to a pussy as a pussy almost never like if you're talking to like a girlfriend when is the few times that you do it just right here it's come out of my mouth way more I usually call it a vagina with a B yeah why the B it makes it more stupid okay yeah yeah

Do you want me to go down on your vagina? Vagina, yeah. I feel like most of the time the answer is no, don't you think? Yeah, once you say vagina, they're like, grow up. They're like, oh my God. You're like deliberately trying to give them the ick so you don't have to? Yeah. You're a Red Wings fan? Is that what that is? Who's Red Wings? Hockey team? Uh-huh. What's that on your neck? Oh, it's because I lost my child. So I got a wing for it.

Fuck. For my baby that I lost. Really? Sorry. Yeah, you want to dive into that? I got a matching one, too. Really? You want to unpack or? Nope. Sorry. No, please. Anyway. That made everything else feel like a little less violating. Yeah. Once it gets too real, I'm like, I've lost the chance. All right, I'm out. Yeah.

It was fun to see you get a little awkward there. Are there moments when you're on stage and you, can you see your audience or are you those? It's like, turn the lights up. Right. I don't want to see. Yeah. First couple of rows you can see, and then it just disappears. Do you look for their facial work or is that necessary in your line of profession when you're dark? Nah, you can do it if you want, but it's like, everyone's trying to do it now. It's kind of like hacky. I try to go the other way.

So you don't want to see their facial expressions. I'll see it. No, I want to see if they're having a good time. But he's just not, he's not, yeah. Well, something like that. To Ari's point, like, it's like a bit now. It's like a thing that they're, it's part of their act to do some crowd work. Yeah, everyone's like, it used to just be like, when you got to it, it happened, it happened. You know, somebody dropped a tray of drinks, you're like, let's make fun of it. Or somebody shows up in something like weird. But yeah, I can see them. It's nice when they're having a good time, but sometimes you see like, and you just like keep going. Yeah. Nice.

I gave it up for some lady at the comedy store once. What? I said, anytime I go to a comedy show, I try to sit in the back. I don't want to be a subject of your comedy bit. I just want to enjoy. I saw some lady at the comedy store like this the whole time. Some 55, 60-year-old lady. She was like a snarling face. She was quiet the whole time. I kept looking at her. Her husband, her boyfriend, whatever, was into it. I kept doing it. Didn't mention her. Then I was like, all right, I'm done. Then I was like, before I go though, hey lady, I just want to give

give some props here. Like you hated me, right? She goes, yeah. And I'm like, okay, fair. But you kept your mouth shut the whole time. You didn't disrupt the show and it's okay to like have your tastes and likes and dislikes, but you handled it so well.

guys, let's give her a round of applause for handling it well with her distaste. And then she's like, but that's all we want. Let us all enjoy. I appreciate it. I love how you didn't feel the need to remind her that it's an art and you're a comedian. That's okay to not like. Yeah, like what you're saying. I'm not going to be a baby about it. It's all right. I get it. It's not for everybody. At what point did you realize you were funny? Like enough to do it in front of people? I don't know. Fourth grade maybe? Never? Yeah, I was always getting thrown out of class.

Oh, you were one of those that was like, he's talking too much. Yeah, I was like annoying. Did you ever have to take tests like outside? Like I was, my teacher would have to put like desks outside of the door and you'd have to like take a test out there so that you didn't like disrupt. You guys Jewish? Are you Jewish? 9%. 9% Jewish. Well, if you were over 50%, what?

what you do is you just pay a doctor to say your child is learning disabled and then you can take untimed tests at home and get better grades and SATs. So did she. Yep. Do however you want to get ahead. I got extra time for sure. I could use extra time. I'm just. Yeah, we all could have. I can't. I can read. Yeah, that would have helped on the extra time. Yeah. Juice. No, it's juice. Oh,

Oh, okay. What is this axing? What is this word? Yeah. Jews got untimed tests. It's great. There's white privilege. And then there's another thing that we don't like to talk about. It's Jewish privilege. It is. Leia, what's so funny? She knows it. She got all the same privileges. What school did you go to? It's called Shalhavet. Oh.

That's it. Hebrew school. Very Jew-y. No, I'm talking about college. Oh, USC. USC? Yeah. U of SC? University of Southern California. Southern California. Is that how you guys say it? Oh, USC. Yeah, yeah. Well, he went to Yeshiva, so. Yeah, I went to Yeshiva briefly. Oh, Yeshiva. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah, on time tests. It's great. What a privilege. Did you feel...

You can say anything. I'm good. You can ask me about my child. I'll take it back. Yeah. Have you ever? I've had some on purposes. You don't get a tattoo for the on purposes. You just give a hearty handshake and get her a cigarette to make sure. Go on your way. Go for the liberal laws in America.

Why are you watching animal attack videos? Do you want to talk about that? My algorithm got me. Or the ski videos. Yeah. You ever catch your algorithm just grabs you and takes you to a place? Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes it's a really strange place that you live on. Yeah.

Yeah, I went from, there was like a dock in Santa Clarita that like caved like a couple months ago. It just like washed away and some guy was on it, but it stayed intact and they had to like rescue them. I was like, oh, weird. And then from then on, it just went natural disasters. It was like, oh, you must love that. Disasters. And then it pulled that into animal like disasters. I was just watching puppy videos and like, what about, it went wrong. Yeah.

And I'm like, oh. And then it's like, okay, fine. You don't like the puppies getting killed, but how about lions attacking tigers? And you're like, okay. You just click on it once, and then it's all it takes you. Now, every time I'm on a hike, I'm so fearful. I hear a squirrel. I'm just like, wow, it's a bobcat. I'm being tailed. Well, that's because it says here that you do drugs while you hike. I do do drugs. Yeah.

So maybe that's accurate. That sheet never lies. Yeah. I do do drugs. Maybe it's more of the drugs than the TikTok algorithm in your head. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I mean, yeah, that's the heart attacks. That's the heart attacks. Smoking weed in nature. Smoking weed in doom scrolling. Yeah. Yeah.

Is it really even a drug? Is it even a drug? That's a valid question. Well, if you're going to call weed a drug, I have no problem with that. But let's fucking call alcohol a drug. You have to call alcohol a drug then. Well, we're not the only, there's also alcoholics. That's drugs too. We're deflectors. Yeah, y'all are. Yeah, because none of us go, it's not. We just go, that is too. Look at them. It's not my fault I'm a better person when I'm chilled out. More attentive to your child's needs.

Well, no. No, we actually were talking earlier this episode how he leaves chewed up gum in random places, like on surfaces, and our daughter will find it. And chew it? One time she did. One time it was wrapped all around her hand. She learned a valuable lesson that day. That's what I said. What was that? Don't smoke weed and chew gum. When she's older, she'll remember that lesson. Just like, pop, pop. She'll get high, put it down, go, wait, wait. Oh, core memory. I'm going to throw that away. Yeah.

she's gonna make her father she's gonna call you not then but later i'm like i never knew how much you were preparing me for life do you ever know do you already know any mushroom parenters mushroom what parenters but like they're microdosing yeah yeah you do i do know a few of them thoughts feelings concerns

I'm okay with it as long as you do like little small amounts, but also like you can see why it's scary. Why? Because like, I mean, sometimes you're just gone. You're just like, I'm out. And like, you don't need your kids. One time now and I partook, watched like 11 hours of Peaky Blinders while in our hot tub. And then now he was doing somersaults in the pool. Yeah. And then passed out naked on our floor.

While our dog ate the steak that we left on the table that we didn't eat. Before kids. This is before children. Do PK and post K is so different. And then you'll remember your PK lives. And you're like, who was that? Do you have kids? No, no, but none that you wanted. Yeah. I got it. Yeah. A couple.

On purpose. A couple on purposes. I just love that you said that with such conviction. Like, yeah, pre-kid slap before post-kid slap. It's so different. And I was like, oh my God, he's so relatable. Like, he's just like us. Like, what was your pre-kid like? Wait, I do have a question. You're a golfer? You were a golfer. I was a golfer. You're not good anymore? Or you stopped? I was never good. Oh. I was also, I played golf at Yeshiva University. Yeah, I played golf there. I was, it was...

We just needed people to play so anyone who had a golf bag could be on the team. And I was, I believe, the worst athlete in NCAA sports that year. Oh, my God. You played golf? Yeah. My dad was the 11th longest drive hitter in the world one year. Okay. I shot a 143 in competition. I know enough about golf to know that's not good. Yeah. Yeah, you want to be around 70, just below 70. Yeah.

The other team was laughing. My own coach was laughing at me. Yeah. You just kept, but you played through it. I was on the team. Yeah, I played through it. Yeah. I mean, they had to keep supplying the balls. I don't have the patience for golf. It's after like nine holes. I'm like, fuck this shit. I'm also a little too competitive because I'm not, like, I'm good enough to have never been taught golf that I can like hit it at seven iron straight. Great. Like that's all, you know, so I can, I can keep up with like the average golfer, but like when my golfing buddies,

- Get cereal. - Yeah, and I'm just like, guys, I don't give a fuck. - You're also not a big drinker, which I feel like that just goes hand in hand with golfing for 15 hours straight. - It made golfing better when I stopped caring about the rules and had a couple nips or just got high

And then be like, hey, I'm not feeling this hole. I'm just going to go with you guys. Where's that car? I can't even see the hole from here. My score doesn't matter. We're just having fun, right? Yeah, we're just having fun. I'm going to go on a little hike in the woods and meet you guys. Yeah. My friend's husband is a really big golfer. And it's like they do like betting and all that stuff. And so like anytime my boyfriend goes with him, I'm like, you're not.

Not betting. You're going to lose. You're going to lose. They're just literally stealing money from you at this point. Yeah. How did you end up getting a job at the Arlington Cemetery? Yeah, I used to. You have a fixation with dead people? I do now. I used to lay pipe.

- At the cemetery, yeah. I don't know, somebody I knew, knew somebody who was hiring. I was 16, my first job. - That was your first job? - Yeah, first time I like-- - What does one do? - Lay pipe. I was a horticulturalist. I watered the flowers around the tomb of the unknown soldier. I put out the eternal flame once.

I forgot about that. Yeah. It might be treasonous. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Generally had to pick up pipes. Like, like it would go like hand male to female and lay them down on these long fields and then like let them go and the sprinklers. And then when they were done, like you did put them back in the truck and then take them to the next field and lay them out. But sometimes if you were good, you got like wand duty and it was just a hose with a magic wand at the end. It went up and then kind of down. So it was like that.

So then you just walk, like watering all the beautiful flowers outside. I went to the National Cemetery, it was gorgeous. And then I didn't screw it on tight enough. And then the magic wand came off, just popped off, and this shoot of water just went straight up into the eternal flame. - Like what did you do? - It went out. I mean, I was like, I'm gonna get hung.

There's all these like tourists there and they're kind of looking up. I can see them looking up what the word eternal means. Cause they're like, maybe I got it wrong. And then there's a, yeah, I was like, I'm fucked. Did you like call your boss and be like, Hey, there's a, I think there's a, like a, a little like, you know, pilot light. And it went back on. But for like two minutes I was like, Oh, this is really bad. Yeah. That the Marines are there like walking right nearby. Too many non soldier. And,

- Oh my God. - Yeah, yeah. But it was fun. We used to take naps in the open graves. It was cool in there. No one was in there yet. So it wasn't really rude to anybody. I was not a soldier yet. - So do you wanna-- - You were out and breaking it in. - Breaking it in, exactly. Making sure it's comfortable for these heroes. - Would you say that you would like to be buried or cremated? - Okay.

- Good question, for all of us, by the way. I say cremated and then given to certain parts to different people who might want it, different groups of my friends. - Would you feed it to your dog?

I had never thought of it before. Neither have I until the beginning of this episode when I found out Leia, who just had a child. Well, no. No, did not feed ashes to my dog. But apparently it's a family tradition in her husband's family that when their child's umbilical cord falls off, I don't know if you know this as a parent, you know, you have a baby and he ties it up. And then like a week later, it dries up like a raisin and pops off. And like a lot of parents that are normal, like just keep it or do something with it. And Leia,

Feeds it to her dog. Really? Did your dog go for it? You've been such a good boy today. Like a treat. Like a special treat. Was it... I mean, you can't do that. She only has one child. I've only had one kid. But...

Wow. I mean, I take back the question I was going to ask. What kind of dog? What does it matter? That doesn't have any... Any dog is eating. If this is a court case, you'd be like, irrelevant. You'd be like, yep. Your Honor, irrelevant to the thing. It could be a Pomeranian or German Shepherd. None of that matters. All of it is going to eat that. And was it into it? She ate it. You know she probably didn't even taste it. It was just like... Yeah. It was very crunchy.

Oh, because it dried up? Can I just say boo on this? Do you regret it now that we made you feel bad for it? A little bit, yeah. Okay. I should have kept it. That was a keepsake for sure. What about the placenta thing? Would the men eat the placenta? I was offered it. You were? Yeah. I immediately turned it down. I'm definitely not one of those dads who's trying to enjoy the whole experience. Just let me know when my kid's here. It's really good for you. Oh, right. You want to see that? I'm front and center. I'm holding her hand. Front and center. You are not front and center.

not you didn't you didn't see no no i was i was you know you were the complete opposite of front and center well the doctor was like hey do you want to help deliver the baby i was like you got this shit you went to school i'm good yeah yeah yeah why look at it he was behind natalie holding her hand you got this babe you're doing great yeah i was like i don't for what reason here's a finger for what reason to see it that way he also refused to try my breast pump out before me what do

Which I felt like was... To pump your own... To pump his breast? Well, I was nervous to use it. I was like, what if it hurts? You know, I was a little scared. I'd never used a breast pump before. Yeah. So I was like, listen, could you test it out and just let me know if it's painful? I said no. And he refused. Agreed. Why? Why would... You're gonna have to do it. You'll never have to do it. But don't you feel like as in a relationship, you should just go through things together? When you must. If you're on vacation and it's raining, it's raining for both of you.

But if you're off, I don't know, golfing with friends and it's raining, you don't call her and say, I need you to step outside. I need you to also get wet needlessly.

So you don't want to feel the contractions. You don't want to be involved. What are you talking about? I get punched in the face because I get a nurse to punch me every once in a while in the dick so I can feel what it's like. No, I'm sorry you're going through this, but, you know, I just walk around the block in whatever clothes you're on. That'll ruin your iPhone.

So we can connect somehow. This is a Carrie kind of test. Carrie would absolutely make big, try all the shit he doesn't need to try. And then she walks by his wedding. Oh, is this where your wedding was that time? I just was walking in New York. I just happened to go by this lady. Oh my God.

So you wouldn't want to be front and center. You're not interested in being a part of it. I got an ingrown toenail taken out. And he's like, you want to watch it? I'm like, nope. No need to see this. I'm just looking around the room every other way. Yeah, you're trained. You got it. He's trained. I was like, I'll get you back later. And I have. In what way? How have you gotten her back? I've done things for you and our child. Oh.

Oh, for me. I thought you were talking about for our doctor. Oh, yeah. Oh, our doctor? No. I paid her. Yeah. Yeah. That was a hefty hospital bill for sure. Yeah. She asked me if I wanted to help. I was like, do I get a discount for that? You know? Yeah. If I don't have enough money for the check, I have to wash dishes. Yeah.

Do your job, doc. Just sew it up. Oh, that was great. There was a video that went viral of a woman who was in the middle of giving birth. And it's like the husband's filming, I guess. And all you can see is like, you can't see anything but like the tops of her knees. And there's like a nurse on the other side of her. And you can hear the doctor going like, okay, you're going to tear. So I'm probably just going to have to cut. And as soon as she...

As soon as she says it, the nurse makes that face and it's on film. That's her first day. And they're like, why would the nurse...

Yeah. Like you've not, you've never seen this before. Like I, the, the, the patient, the mom who's in labor is like, is that going to hurt? And she looks over at the nurse and her, it's like, Ooh, I don't think so. She's like, I don't know. I haven't, that's going to fuck you up. We're going to tear your vagina. It's going to for sure hurt.

Did you do the pushing one or the cutting one? I did the... Well, I don't think... My mom thought that they just cut everyone now a days. It was like, that's normal. That's how they get the baby out is just to cut you right open. And I was like, no, no, no. Slice it in the middle. That's a C-section. Yeah. Talking about cutting your vagina to make it wider. To help you a little. To make it come out. So there's three kinds. Sure. Slicing, cutting, and pushing. And scissoring. And scissoring. Yeah. Yeah.

So, no, my mom was like, they do it to everyone. It's just easier to get the baby out. And I was like, no, no. Nowadays, you do perineal massages to lubricate the area in which, which is basically like a gooch massage. It's like the same logic as before you have anal. Yeah. Can you imagine the 1920s doing anal with just some spit? What barbarians. Yeah.

No plugs. Nothing. For K-Wire. I thought you lost your anal virginity to me. So I'm going to have to put in my 30 days. I'm learning too much on the show. Where is HR? Where is HR? I'm going to be rocking in a shower later.

No, friends said we could talk about this stuff while we're podcasting. Listen, it's all a bit. It's all stand up. And none. All of this is a joke. How bad did it hurt? Which one? Anal or giving birth to the baby? Now both. I will now say both. Yeah. Which one hurt worse? Anal.

Because you don't get a numbing. You don't get epidural for anal. Honestly, if I could get epidural for anal, I would do it every day of my life. I heard anal described as like you're trying to shit out a house.

If you could get epidurals, you would do a anal every day. I would do a anal every day. Honestly, the epidural was the best part about giving birth, other than meeting my child for the first time. Wow. Yeah. You should try epidural for your next hike or live music festival. I 100% will. Give me that Michael Jackson stuff and an epidural. They basically give you this thing, right?

It's like a large needle in your back. And then going forward, they give you a remote control. It's like imagine having a remote control for your drugs, whatever your drugs are. And it's like you can push this button as much as you want. You can't OD because you're good. Just more or less. You just hit. There's just a more button. You stop hitting it if you like. It won't let you OD. It won't let you OD. Wow. The second I was like, I think I feel my toes more. Yeah.

So at any point, you can just make sure you're at maximum high. Yeah. Is that what you're always like? Just keep doing this. Yeah. I got to sleep. Just hit this for me. Wow. And then you couldn't feel it. Could you push out? Yeah. All you feel is like pressure, but you don't feel any. I mean, they tell you they're like, you're going to push for 10 seconds. And so you just like hold a push for 10 seconds. And then they're like, we see your head.

And it's like, wow, I guess I'm doing something. I mean, we got very lucky with very little complications, no complications. So, you know, not the same for everyone. But it was shockingly like, like it happened real fast, that part. Yeah. The whole like push, push, push. And then out. Yeah. Did it make this noise?

You know, there was so much going on in the room. I don't recall. If Nick would have been down there, he could have listened. Yeah, I'm with you. Why watch it? Why watch it? But also, curiosity. I'd watch someone else's. They got to do like a Strangers on a Train situation. I've seen the sex ed videos back in the day. And I imagine like some something like that.

Do you just have to shave before? Honestly, I thought about that. I said, hmm, should I get like...

wax or shave before. And then I said, well, wax is painful. Like, I don't need to go through that right now. I'm about to go through birth. What about the epidural though? If I can get the wax post. They should all have that. The Brazilian place should just have an epidural. While we're here, while you can't feel anything. Call in your wax. Yeah. So then I was like, I guess I could shave. And then I was like, well, that feels like a lot of open wounds. Like, you know, what if I cut myself? And then like, that just felt like it was little. Yeah.

I just gave her a jungle to fight through. Yeah, right. Sometimes they shave it themselves. The nurses will be like, oh my God, we got to get in here. And they have a little disposable razor. Would you have done that out of a- Would you have shaved me? I think I did. No, no. I think I said no. I meant like if she's like, I have to shave for this. Can you please also shave your D?

The hair? Yeah. No, your dick off. I'll meet you there. I'll meet you there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every once in a while, I'm like, this is getting crazy. Same. Yeah, I'll do it once every couple years. Same. Yeah, this is getting crazy.

I'm like, I can't see anything down there. I should probably take control. Is that gum? How long has that been there? They don't still make Big Red. Juicy fruit. Yeah.

Ari, this has been a ton of fun. It has been. You guys rule. I think you're my favorite married couple. Oh my God, I've been recording this for 14 minutes. Really? That's also a pet peeve. How easy it is to accidentally record a voice note and accidentally send it to someone via text.

I did it last night. I got off stage, record your sets on there. And then I got off and I thought I hit stop. And then I talked a lot of shit about people with my friend. And then I was like, Oh, uh, I just delete the whole file. So easy to send to your friend. Yeah.

Ari, it's so much fun. It's a great title for a Burke. Thank you. Don't do it. For a Burke. Burke. Thank you. I thought I could skate by that. You don't want to go. This makes you feel good. You want to stay. Happy birthday. Solid advice. The next special is America's Sweetheart. It's out right now. It's very funny. If you want to laugh about things that make you feel like maybe you should or shouldn't laugh about it, but it's also really also funny and it is just comedy. So thank you. It's okay. Check it out. Thanks, buddy.

I feel like anytime we have a comedian, I just open up way too much. I learned a lot. You could say that this segment was educational. I feel like with Heather McMahon, I opened up about things I definitely shouldn't have. It's like we just...

Well, what do they say? Like, you know, usually comedy stems from like dark childhood trauma. Yeah, there's that whole, it's, well, it's that whole thing that's like why I'm funny is because X, Y, and Z happened to me. You know, it's like, learn to laugh or else I cry. All I could think is crowd work is afraid of Natalie because she banters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, we just want to thank our guests, Jason and Melanie, as well as Ari for joining us. Be sure to follow them and check out their work as well. Oh, and if you haven't already, be sure to check out the Barbie Fur Going Deeper episode that dropped yesterday. It's a really great one, especially for all you Euphoria fans. She's got a really excellent new movie called Bob Trevino Likes It. Be sure to check that out as well. Next week, we got the Bachelor finale and we will be interviewing your

runner-up, which I think will be juicy. I think maybe this finale might be worth you guys tuning in to. That'll be with us next Wednesday for Going Deeper, and obviously we will talk about the finale a little bit on Tuesday's recap. So much more coming ahead. Excited to bring it to you. We'll see you then. Bye.

Beautiful Anonymous changes each week. It defies genres and expectations. For example, our most recent episode, I talked to a woman who survived a murder attempt by her own son. But just the week before that, we just talked the whole time about Star Trek. We've had other recent episodes about sexting in languages that are not your first language or what it's like to get weight loss surgery. It's unpredictable. It's real. It's honest. It's raw. Get Beautiful Anonymous wherever you listen to podcasts.