100 Men v 1 Gorilla
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You two are bad! Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Well, you two are something. We're bad friends. I can kill a gorilla on my own. I don't need 99 other men. He's doing this because there's a guy who was wearing a shirt that said, uh, I'm not a gorilla, but I can beat off 100 men. Not based on that. I saw that. That's what we just talked about at lunch. Yeah, but there's these memes and stuff going around about 100 men versus a gorilla. Yeah.

You couldn't. You could not. A hundred men versus a gorilla? Yeah. We'd lose. Is that how big a gorilla is? It's not how big a gorilla is. Oh. I mean, how many... Okay, let's go all animals. How many men would a Yorkshire Terrier...

Like a grown adult male, just one. One? But not Brad Williams? But not Brad Williams. No, B-Dub would be taken down. Yeah, he'd be taken down. How about how many people would it take to fight off a Doberman pincher? Ooh. I saw a guy manhandling his dog this morning, speaking of which, and it really pissed me off. Why?

Dude, because you know how people tug on the chain? And he whipped it around because he was barking at another dog in a fence. Yeah. And he whipped it so hard it leapt off the ground and then he grabbed it by the neck. That guy, write his name down. That's uncalled for. A pit bull. He had a pit bull. I hate when animals are treated that way. I don't like it at all, man. It pissed me off. There's my dog in the window. Yeah.

He scared both Carlos and me. Did it scare you guys? Yeah, I jumped, literally. Or they'll see a puppy being beaten down on the side of the road. Disgusting. Right. How come I can't find them?

You know how there's this show on the internet where they- I can't find kittens or anything. You know the show on the internet where they catch- There's a guy named Colorado Pet Patrol. He baits people that are trying to interact with underage people, and then they beat them in public. They beat the life out of them. Why can't we bait people that are abusive to dogs and beat them in public and stream it? I think if you beat dogs, we should beat you in public and stream it. You know what I'd do? I'd put peanut butter on my butthole. Yeah, that'll get them out there. That'll get the dogs excited. I don't know about the guy who does the abusive stuff. I'll make him eat it.

Oh, that's smart. Yeah, yeah. That's very smart. After the dogs are done with you? Chunky peanut butter. Extra chunky. Or crunchy. You like chunky or smooth? I'm a crunchy guy, dude. Really? Oh, 100%. Yeah, you're kind of crunchy. Yeah, yeah. Well, you like smooth? Nah, smooth is so weird. It feels weird. It feels weird. What kind of jelly do you use? Raspberry. No, what brand?

I use the one. What's the one that's, you know, you know. Yeah, it's the one that looks like a mom and pop. Yes. That one. Who is that, though? I don't know. I don't even know. We just buy it. We buy it because it looks so like cottagey. Yeah, cottage made by an old white lady. Yeah. I made you some jam. Yeah. Where is it? I think it's Smucker's, right? No, dude. No, man. We're not Smucker's, guys. We're not Smucker's, guys, for sure. That one. The first one. The first one. Go up top. The first one. The first thing. Okay.

That girl. That's what I use. Who is this woman? This one. Bonnie. Bonnie. Bonnie Maimon. Oh, she's got a skill set. That one. Huge rack. Bonnie Maimon. She's just an old, fat, white lady. I'll make you some strawberry preserves. That's a really good one. Do you refrigerate your jam?

No, I don't think so. Do you refrigerate your peanut butter? No, and I definitely don't refrigerate butter. People that put butter in the fridge, weirdo. Leave it out. Leave it out, you weirdo. Let it get soft. Yeah. Butter should generally be refrigerated. No, that's not true. Yeah, I think that you're wrong about that. I was going along with you, but I'm like, no, butter. No, no, no, butter lasts longer in the fridge, but you don't have to put it in the fridge. You don't. Look it up. Here's another thing you shouldn't put in the fridge, sashimi. Leave it out. Leave it out for a month. Wherever the sun is coming in your house.

Yeah. Big slice of tuna in your front, just in the front. Recommended refrigerated jelly, especially if it's not high sugar variety. I'm going to tell you, I don't oblige you any of that. I drank spoiled milk yesterday and I'm fine. Really? I did. I'm not kidding. I had cereal. I looked at it. It was like seven days past when it said don't drink. Was it curdled? Tasted fine. I mean, my farts smelled weird.

But who cares? I do. Your body is- I'm lactose intolerant. Oh, well, you can't have it. Curdled milk? Forget about it. You're lactose intolerant? Yeah. You're Korean and Jewish? Yes. That's what I had for breakfast. Yuck. Yogurt. You had yogurt. Yeah, okay. By the way, yogurt, isn't that curdled milk? There's nothing wrong with drinking spoiled milk. Thank you. It just doesn't taste good. But it doesn't do anything to you? No. No. How old? How old?

Drinking milk can be dangerous. It's so good to have doctors in the house. Yeah. Like we're on Rogan show. Just giving out medical advice to two fucking idiots giving out medical advice. Does your mother have titty milk still in her breast? Because that's I'd like to try it. We know yours doesn't. Yeah. See those fried eggs hanging off her chest. Things hit her belt.

Dude, you know what's so funny? Your mom goes, are you looking at my boobies? No, you know what's so funny? No, I'm looking at your face, not your fucking belt line. Yeah, you went mean with it. Are you looking at my boobies? No, dude, you're going mean with it, dude. You started it. I just said, are there, like a scientific question. Clearly there's not. And you went, dug into my mom. Clearly there's not. You know milk goes away? Yeah, okay. How long does breast milk stay in a woman's breast after giving birth? After they stop breastfeeding. That's what I mean. You know what your mom's titty, you know what comes out of it? Two years. After cessation. You know what comes out of your mom's titty?

Go for it. Mac and cheese dust. The cheese dust. Did that land? You thought that was going to hit, didn't you? You thought about it and it didn't hit. I think it's going to hit with some of our fans, I think. Okay. Well, let me have the line again then. Go on. The cheese powder from Macaroni and Cheese. That's pretty good. Kraft? Yeah. Robert Kraft? You know what penis I want to see though? Remember that flying horsey in Never Ending Story?

Falcor? Yeah. Packed. Yeah, it's got to be packed. Dude, I read this thing. This is crazy. He's an OnlyFans now. Oh, Falcor's on OF? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, look at that tongue, though. Jesus Christ. The never-ending penis. Yeah. It goes on and on and on and on. If you were giving Falcor that actual fucking robotic whatever thing, would you display it in your home? Yeah. Where? Front door. Yeah, amazing. Right out the front window so people coming up. No, I would get wrapped in my roof. Oh, that's smart. I'd put an Asian roof and wrap that thing. Oh, that would be so dope. You have an Asian roof.

I do. It's on your house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Amazing. That's funny that your real estate agent will sell your house afterwards and be like, and this is an Asian palace. They're like, it doesn't look, it looks Spanish. They're like, wow, it was Bobby Lee's house. Wow. It was an Asian palace. Well, just by me living in it doesn't give it value. Are you not King Lee? You think you give value to your house? I'm just a white.

You're King Lee. I'm giving you credit. You're missing a compliment. I'm the fraud king. Fraud king. Fraud king? I can't talk today. It's all right. I'm burnt out. To drink some of that coffee. Hey, look this up. This is crazy. A guy on the internet said, you know when somebody goes, I'm hung like a horse? He's hung like a horse? Yeah. They did like the math comparison of a horse's penis in comparison to the weight of the horse and its size. And technically-

Look at this. Here you go. The average horse weighs 1,000 pounds and has a 20-inch dick. That's a ratio of 50 pounds to one inch. So an average man weighing 200 pounds only needs a four-inch dick to be hung like a horse. Wow. We're good. Yeah. Well, I mean, you're much less than two. How much do you weigh now? I'm hung like a giraffe now.

Sure, dude. With that metric. But isn't that brilliant to think about? That's hung like a horse's very average penis. Oh, wow. I did not even realize that. News from Spain. A day without power. What 12 hours of darkness look like in Spain and Portugal? So I read this. The trains went down. Everything went down, huh? What'd you do, fancy? Look at all those fancies. Yeah. I can't catch the bus to their place. Look at their bodies. Just like, it's like a fucking village of porgs. It's a porg convention. Dude, they're all, wow. Yeah.

It's not your fault then. It's not. It's the people.

My God. It's genetics. Yeah. It's genetics. It's not genetics, dude. It's like that movie, Wreck. Remember that movie, Wreck? Wreck, yeah. Do you remember that movie? Yeah. Great movie. You know Wreck? Yeah. Did you see Wreck 2? Yeah. Yeah. And 3 and 4. There's not 3 and 4. There is. There is? There's four of those? Yep. Wow. Wow. And an American version called Quarantine. Oh, Quarantine. Yeah. I know film. I know film. Yeah. Shut up. Wreck was good. Yeah.

Honestly, dude? Yeah. You're a little snippy today, aren't you? So you haven't watched any Last of Us? I've never seen Last of Us, no. Why? I told you, I'm stuck right now on the studio on Apple TV. I was watching that and you haven't seen it. So we have, you know, that's the divide. Interesting. Okay. I got to tell you, it's very meta. It's inside, inside, inside baseball. Yeah. We get the jokes. Yeah. The problem is...

I'm so fucking jealous. Of course. That's why I can't watch it. I went to bed last night so fucking jealous. That's why I can't watch it. It's because I was like, why can't I be just- I have friends in it. I cannot watch it. Let me be a page. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Why can't we get work? Duh. Because of this? Probably. Yeah, it's got to be a piece of it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to email Seth Rogan and ask him if he can cut me out of that one too. Put me in this, cut me out of it, just so I can be on set for a little while.

All right. Just like the room. I'll get cut out too. You'd probably stay. We apparently did kill the Pope. Our 266th episode came out the day he died. He was the 266th Pope? Are you serious? Yes. No. That's confirmed. I knew we had power. I knew it. Oh my God. Did you see that Pope, Pope Francis, as a young man? He was a hottie. Was he hot? Yeah. A young Pope Francis. Yeah.

Please be right. No, that color photo right there. Wow. Zoom in. Yeah, he's a handsome cat. Dude, look at the eyes, dude. Piercing eyes. Those eyes have some- Betty Davis's eyes. She got Betty Davis eyes. That's what it is, yeah. Turn the music on. Now, he could get girls. He had to resist it. Don't you think some of these guys are getting top and just not telling anybody? Yeah.

You think so? I think if you get to heaven and you're Pope Francis, he's like, you did so much good, but I do know you were getting your wang sucked. Just to get your message out, you're going to get dove, put a message on it, put it in the sky. It takes three months for it to come back. That's their Raya. Yeah, that's their Raya. As long as you confess that you're fine.

If he confesses that he did something bad. What are these ones? Hottest Popes. Take us through the Hottest Popes. I'm too law for most of them, so I got to click on this. No, it's got to be. That guy was not hot. That guy's hot. His civilian name was Fabio. You know what he looks like? Dirty Harry. You know who Dirty Harry is? The porn star? I thought Dirty Harry the movie. Look up Dirty Harry the porn star.

He does look like Dirty Harry, dude. Dude, that colored one. That's my old landlord. I'm not even kidding. That's literally my old landlord. Yeah, go to the first one. Dude, that's the Pope. This dude is an animal. Let me guess. This guy died of a bad, bad disease. He's still alive. Is he? Yeah, I think Dirty Harry's still alive. Dirty in the name is great. But he is, wow. Is he alive? I'm just saying. Dude, Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry make my day so good. How does that line go?

Make my day. Go ahead. Make my day. Go ahead and make my day. Imagine saying that to somebody and then beating the shit out of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Make... Yeah. And your kids are there? Yeah, no. Why would you say that to him? Tell me about David Harari. He was born in the Bronx, New York in 1951. Yeah. I love how it says he's an actor. Let's see some of his titles. Go on, zoom in. Play Daddy. Play Daddy.

Dude, he was great in Play Daddy. Bang Bus, relax. He's my stepdad. I thought he deserved a Golden Globe after that one. Bang Bus. I suck. I suck is so good. Cash for Chunkers. Oh, yeah, he does Chunkers. I love Chunkers. You do? I think Cash for Chunkers is great. Yeah. I'd have to get Cash for the Chunker. 29 of them. He did 29 of them. How many films has he done in total? Go back up to the top. He's done so many. He's done so many. How many titles?

323. Dude. And he's got one coming. Really? Pink visual pass. Oh, I got to see that. He's keeping up with AI. It's released already. Also, I want to do an alert. Can I just go back on my word about the death and ramen real quick? About death and ramen? Yeah, yeah. I've already done a spell on rival. I know. I feel bad. Is there any way to get rid of that spell? Let me read the bottom. Let me see. Let me see. Look in. Let me see at the bottom. It says. I think I overreacted.

As the day progresses, those changes will gradually steadily become more apparent. However, you cannot reverse any of these spells as they are permanent within the universe. Oh, my God. I resent the fact that Doudou's hair looks better. I know. It does look really good, doesn't it? It does literally look better. It looked cool. He does look good. Yeah, yeah. I don't like. There's definitely like a tension between me and Carlos. Post-Trump.

Maybe. Maybe. You think because of Trump's election, you guys have had like weird beef? No. Since you know what? Since Bobby was invited to the White House. Oh, yeah. Are you going to go to that? Are you being real? What are you doing? Are you being real right now? You brought up the tension. But that wasn't the tension. It's an overall tension. Oh, okay. What are you doing?

What? Yeah, you know what you do? Put gas on the fire. You're a fireman. Let's say I'm stuck in a house, right? And I'm on fire. I run out. And you're a fireman. And you just throw more gasoline on me. You put more gasoline on me. 45 for 79. It's a Korean family. We're going to let this one burn. Yeah, that's you. No, dude. Yeah, yeah. You're not on my side half the time. Dude. Yeah. That's true. You really want to do... What are you doing?

What are you doing? Because he's the logic and reasoning behind this whole operation. No, he's a piece of shit. Yeah. No, he's on my side all the time. He left his daughter in a hot car for hours. Do you know this? They called the cops on him. No. Yeah, he was going into Ralph's. Only once. I know, but why do you... Dude, you left your child in the hot car? Yeah. Five minutes, in and out. Five minutes? Did you get in trouble? Yeah, the cops came.

It was fine. He doesn't want the stuff he brought up. He tried to murder his daughter. He did? Yeah. It's generally not safe to leave your child alone in a car, not even for a few minutes, and you did it for five. I love the windows open, though. She's not a dog. Yeah. This is one lady that came out of a casino, and they're like,

Do you know your children are in the car? She's like, I was only gone for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, she had been gambling for 10 hours, 10 hours, 10 minutes. What's the difference? Yeah. I mean, was she on a heater? If she's on a roll, you got to let her do it. Yeah. Also those kids, that's her mom. I mean, that, that she's the mother. They're going to turn out shitty anyway. What's the difference? Because she's black.

You never even said that. That's insane that you would say that. You just said she left them in the car. Yeah, you might as well just say, well, you know, they're used to heat. They're from Africa. Ha ha ha.

You know what I mean? Like, what is your mind? Where is your mind today, dude? Who made up all this stuff? You did. I didn't know the race of the woman. I said she was a bad mom. It was a viral thing, dude. I said she's a bad mom because she gambled. God damn you. Nice try. All right. God damn you. All right. Anyway, what is this? Police are planning to charge a mother or two whose children died inside the van of Detroit Casino Garage. Wow. Oh, they died. Yeah.

I saw this dude that was, I was at Vegas last weekend and I'm telling you what breaks my heart the most is when you see people with babies at like one in the morning in the casino. Jesus, what are you doing? I mean, but, but the fact that that's not, how's that not illegal? What are you doing? You got to be 21 to gamble, right? Yeah. So it should be like no babies on the floor also. That's a law. Yeah. Can't have babies on the floor. What would happen if you did get that? No baby babies generally not allowed on casino floor. Yeah, it is. I saw it all fucking weekend, all fucking weekend. Do babies get drunk?

If they have alcohol, yes. Oh. If they have alcohol, yes. They can come intoxicated from small amounts of alcohol. Oh, my God. Imagine your baby drunk. Did your dad ever give you... The baby's like... I want to laugh at this bit.

It's not good I know I'm throwing blanks No you're trying We're thrusting in the sky Yeah nothing's happening Did your dad never Like you know when you're teething You ever heard this And they give whiskey On your gums No We do that That's a white suit My dad used to do it with sake It's not the same thing It's not the same thing We're dying If you put a piece of kimchi In your toes Yeah we're dying We're fine No I'm not You think it's the You think it's the fucking The interns that are here Where's these interns Sit them down here

Let's get him. What's your name? Diego. Diego, you know what you are? What am I? A young, dirty Harry. Look at that mustache. Is it bad? No, it's a good look. We're kind of rocking the same thing. Mine's a little better. That's you right there, Diego. Diego, what happened? I saw you pulling in the parking lot. You couldn't get into the bathroom. The door was jammed. This is the new generation. They don't know how to turn the keys. Yeah.

Let me ask you, Sky. What's up, guy? Are you in... Ooh, careful. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Damn, Diego. Sorry, sorry. You're skating on thin horchata right now. I know. Are you in the movie Xanadu? What's up with your shoes, dog? Do you like them? No. Wait, why not? What brand is it? La Tigre. They're like the Kill Bill, like yellow type. You think that's yellow? No, they're like the same ones as the Kill Bill ones. Yeah, they're tigers. They're tigers. Okay.

The pants. Pants. You don't like them? No, I'm just analyzing you, dude. That's what I'm doing. I appreciate it. Can I analyze you? I like your hat. You analyze me and I'll analyze you. All right, let's go. Tip or tat. Tip or tat. All right. Go ahead. I love your hat. Where is it from?

It says right on it. Yep. But made horn. Made horn? Oh, made warn. Yeah. Bad vision. Yeah. Bad vision? What are you, 19? 20. Yeah. You have bad eyes at 20? Horrible. What's your vision? What's your number? Like...

8 out of whatever it is 8? no no no isn't it 2020 like 820 or what is it well you should have you ever been to an eye doctor yeah but do you have contacts I do you don't know your prescription I don't cause I don't wear them you see with these kids they don't what do they know can't open a bathroom don't know the prescription do you thread your eyebrows

My barber does them. He does them? They're really nice. What's your barber's name? His name's George. George what? Washington. George Washington Carver. He makes peanut butter and does your eyebrows. Square. You know what? Yeah.

Checking out people is so easy with Square. Yeah, it used to be easy. Remember back in the day when you were selling merch after a show? And people had cash or credit cards. You had to go to the club and be like, hey, could you charge this to the thing? And they want to buy a shirt. And the club is like, your shirts are stupid. And you're like, I know. I brought 185 of them. Yeah, but now you have a phone. Now you got a phone. Right. And you got a Square. Square.

Swipe, swipe, swipe. Sweep, swipe, sweep. Or tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap. Or tap, tap, tap. Square is incredible. One of the first things we noticed about Square was how easy it is. Running a business involves a lot of moving parts, and Square helps simplify that. The hardware looks polished, and it fits right into your space without feeling intrusive. And the software is incredibly straightforward and intuitive. You don't need special training. You can just set it up and start taking payments. Get that money immediately. I love how flexible Square is. I've seen it work seamlessly for all kinds of businesses, whether it's a small boutique, a pop art store,

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Home Aglow. Home Aglow is a five-star home service platform dedicated to making your space clean and tidy. Bobby, unfortunately, has to hire his nieces to clean his apartment. I don't like it. Not anymore. Yeah. Now with Home Aglow, their easy online booking capabilities, you can instantly schedule top-rated cleaners in your area for a special occasion or regularly with their Forever Clean membership.

Let me tell you something about Home Aglow that's great. It's their Forever Clean membership. It saves you $30 an hour on all future cleanings, and you can book unlimited cleanings starting at just $19 an hour back by Home Aglow's happiness guarantee. You like to be happy at your home. Yeah, and download cleaning is so easy. It's like online booking capabilities that allow you to instantly schedule a cleaner in your area for a special occasion, party, or regularly to help take something off your plate. How do I know who I'm getting and if they're legit?

Well, I mean, they have a certification process. They do. Home and Glow does. It's like, you know, they get the best of the best, right? They do. They must. And it maintains a 4.8 star average platform rating as well. Also, you can see photos and reviews of background check cleaners before booking the right cleaner for you. That's right. Because a lot of times you book and you're like, who am I getting? What's going on? Now they go, hey, here they are. Here's what they've done. Here's how good they are. And they're going to get so much cat poop and vomit off of

your floor, your house, it's going to be unbelievable. I mean, look, we all want a clean place. Clean place makes you happy on the inside. Why not get happy with Home Aglow, right? So take home cleaning off your plate this summer by using Home Aglow. Head to homeaglow.com slash badfriends to get your first three hours of cleaning for only $19. Oh my God. That's Home Aglow. H-O-M-E-A-G-L-O-W dot com slash badfriends.

And how old are you? 20. About to be 21. So you've never had, you know? I don't know what. Well, guess what I was saying. Yeah, figure it out. You've never had empanada? No, never had empanada. I guessed it right. Never. Empanada, never had. You've never had

Spear? Yes. Oh, yeah. Whatever. Do you own a spear? I never. No, I don't. Bingo. He's right. I've got spear fishing. That's not the same thing. Oh, okay. I'm talking about a Viking spear. A Viking spear? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never seen one. Let me do another one, okay? You've never been to Canada? Yeah. I'm actually Canadian. I knew it. How'd you know? Wait, how'd you know?

How'd you know I was Canadian? Look at your weak mustache and your tender face. Thank you. That's Canadian. Well, you got a new prime minister. Congrats. Yeah. Oh, I didn't even know that, but thanks. How do you know? You don't know this? What do you guys know? What do you know? Yeah. You're a film student, right? Business. Oh, you're in business? Yeah. But I am. Can you tell? Yeah. Oh, yeah. What business do you want to do? Like social media management. Oh, no.

Wait, you guys want to know a crazy story? Oh, we love your stories. Go ahead, Dirty Harry. Speaking of business and all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys were, or you had actually gone on Instagram live and I had commented, oh, would it be cool if I ever worked for you? And you're like, no, you're never going to work for us.

Are you working for us now? I'm not working. I'm just saying. Are you working for us now? I'm not working, but look where I came. Look how far I am. I know, but you're never going to work for us. In fact, we're never going to see you again. I'll tell you what. We'll hire you for no money, though. I'll do it. Damn. Are you seeing somebody? I have a girlfriend. Is she living here in LA? I heard that little crack in the voice when you said girlfriend. That was good. Yeah, let's analyze that. Wait, what? No, hold on. He got nervous. I have a girlfriend. Yeah, I'm a little nervous. How deep is the relationship? Three and a half years.

Wow. High school sweethearts. Wow. You know it's not going to work out, right? But do you know that? Why do you say that? Wait, why do you say that? It might. It never does. Wait, why? What'd you say? He's autistic? He said show him the statistics. I got some of that tism. Show him the statistics. That's what he said. No, what I'm saying to you is that you're ultimately not where you're going to be.

Do you understand what I'm saying? You're going to become successful. We don't know what's going to happen to you, right? 2% of all marriages from high school sweethearts last. Success comes. I'm just going to like... I've seen it all day, every day, dog. Well, I might be the... You won't be. 2%. No, because when you fill out, you're going to be a chunko. When was the last time that we had tails connected to our tailbone?

That's a weird question that you came up with. I have a little pain in my tailbone right now. I'm thinking about that. Humans lost their tails 25 million years ago. Oh my god. Really? Why did we lose it? We didn't need it. It'd be nice to sit on a tail. We didn't need it. That's crazy. That's what we used to look like? It's so thick.

What would you do with your tail if you had a tail? Me? Yeah. I would bling it out, dude. What would you do? Bling it out? My tail? Yeah. I'd tuck it between my legs. You'd be a tucker? Yeah. Be a tucker for sure. Or I'll make the tail look like my penis and then I'll pull it forward. Oh, there you go. Would it be hairy or would it just be skin? I would clean it. I'd clean it. I'd manscape it. Manscape it? Yeah, I would manscape it too. You gotta keep some orderly fashion to that thing. It's wagging around everywhere. And also I would rocket money it. Yeah.

I definitely would rock up my hand. Yeah, yeah. You know what happens? First time you clean in the shower, you go, hello, fresh. Yeah, yeah. Look at that. Oh, so some people are born with it still. Maybe it's Maybelline. Maybe.

Wow. What was he wearing? A jockstrap? Why has he got like a line by his butt cheeks? Yeah. It's a baby and it's just chubby. That's a chubby baby? That just looks like dough or like clay. It doesn't even look real. You better be careful with your girlfriend. You might have one of these babies with a tail. They say the higher percentage that you have a baby with a tail if you get married to your high school sweetheart. Oh, great. What color is your girlfriend? What color?

Oh, I get your generation. You guys don't see color. No, no, no. Is that what it is? No, she's the same color as me. Yeah, yeah. Do an Asian accent. I can't. You can. Ruin his entire business career. No, yeah. See, I can't do that. I can't just. Do this. Haro. I do the Harry. You got permission. Haro. Oh, my God. Wait, wait, wait. What was the second? I'm Dirty Harry.

Hello, I am Dirty Harry. No. No. What do I need to do? Like get a little bit more under it or? There we go. I am Dirty Harry. His is immaculate. Go. Go ahead. Hello. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dirty. My name is Dirty Harry. Yeah, this is a bad idea to put this kid through this. All right, last exercise we're going to do. And you can't think about it. You got to go right into it. Okay, go.

You're a college professor, and we're a film class, and you talk to us about film. And you have to introduce your name and all that stuff. Not your real name, make it up, right? Three, two, one, you go. We're kids. Okay, so welcome class. My name is Bobby Santino. That's a mix of...

Korean and Irish My parents are from My mom from Korea My dad's from Ireland Ironic I don't know how that happens What about film dude? This is getting to know me right? It's a film class What's this guy doing in the film class? I don't know let's get into the films Professor So what kind of film did I do? That's a great question I couldn't tell you because The history of film And go

I would just walk out. No, you don't. You don't know how to do improv. Is this LA City College? No, I'm 20 years old. This is Quinnipiac. You just make it up. You make it up. This is the special needs kids that we... Yeah, I'm part of that group. Yeah. All right, let's bring the other incel in. Intern. Intern, I mean. Oh, yeah, intern. Tap him in. Yeah. Oh, look at this guy, dude. Thank you, Ronaldo. Hey. We like him. Yeah, we like him a lot. Hey, how's it going? Hey.

Alright, I gotta say this because it's been burning me, alright? Bobby, you always transition with this word A-L-S-O, but you pronounce it O-SO. And it gets under my skin.

And now that I've said that, I feel more clean. Give me an example of when I said also. Don't get under this guy's skin. I don't want to catch you at a music festival anytime soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel clean now that I said that, so I appreciate you saying that. Give me an example. I have no idea what you're talking about. Andrew, also, I am going to be hanging out with Klyla later. You say also instead of also.

Oso. He's saying you say Oso. With no L. Yeah. Oso. I'm not joking. But that's all I got. But yeah. Have you ever noticed that? No, but I do notice that fanny pack and it's giving me the heebie-jeebies. Let me guess what's in your fanny pack. You want to guess? Yeah. A Swiss Army knife. Gun. First thing, gun. Okay. First thing, gun. You know what? I actually did bring a gun on here. No, just kidding. I scared you. I scared you.

I don't know about this guy, dude. Thanks a lot. What's in there? Open up your fanny. I'll show you. By the way, how much does this guy love Asian women?

A lot. This is the kind of guy that loves Asian women. He's like everyone you work with. You're going to live in 20 years at the Philippine Islands. Are you dating someone right now? Yeah, I am. Is she Asian? She's not, but you know what? I'm practicing ethical non-monogamy, so I'm allowed to explore. Wait a minute. It's called ethical non-monogamy. I'll tell you about it. So you tell your girlfriend, hey, we're going to sleep with other people. Yeah, so basically if I talk to her, I have open communication.

I don't like the way you say that. Well, that's because he's Eastern European. I'll forget. No, just kidding. He looks like it though, doesn't he? Where are you from? I'm from here, but I have a lot of friends from all over the place and then I developed fake accents and fake personalities. Whoa. Let's do East European. That's how we got the internship. I want to stick with an East European accent. Are you a sociopath?

Hello Bobby, my name is Jackson. It's good to meet you, man. I'll tell you what, dude. Meet me down at the casino. We could play some blackjack. You know what I'm saying? Pretty good, dude. Go into another one.

Another what? Any kind of character that you've been in. Hey, dude, what's going on, dude? I'm from North Carolina, and I fly a damn airplane. And, you know, I chew dip on the side of the road sometimes, and I got to spit it out there. But the damn raccoons be eating it up, and I don't know what to do at that point, man. Okay, good. That's Theo, for sure. Do you have any suggestions? Um...

I just hope we're not on a kill list. I'm a lover. That's actually my first thing they say. All right. As they're stabbing you to death. How about this? A sensitive vampire. A sensitive vampire. Yeah. There's light. Oh, hey, how's it going? No, a sensitive vampire is. Would it be OK if I suck your blood? I don't want to impose. Yeah, that's good.

Give him another one. Last one. Give him one last character. Shy Bill Cosby. I actually saw Bill Cosby before it went crazy. And he's kind of like... Before it went crazy. I kind of want to eat the hoagie, but I don't know. Yeah? That sounds like a North Carolina guy, dude. Bill Cosby's from North Carolina. Oh, I don't know. Makes sense. Wow. Can I see your teeth? I want to smile.

Yeah, it's nice. I actually... Part of the reason for my body looking so fucked up is I actually called on the show one time to tell you guys about this. I found out that my biological mom is actually my cousin. I called you guys on the phone...

About that one time. Nobody could tell. And that's why I look like... You're inbred. Basically what happened is my mom, who gave birth to me, her eggs were all fucked up. So then they put an egg on my cousin. So then my whole family tree shifted. And I also have a lot of Neanderthalensis DNA. But, dude, that doesn't mean that I can't have a good time. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. No, it sounds like your family has a real good time. Yeah, yeah.

Your mom is your cousin. Yeah, so biologically, my mom gave birth to me, and she's my great aunt. So they use your mom's cousin's eggs. They use my cousin's eggs, but it's my mom. My mother, who gave birth to me, her niece, put egg, and then I spawned, and now I'm here ready to rumble. What?

- Did anyone regret that? - Your cousin is your mother. - Biologically, yes. - Yeah, your cousin's your mom. Your actual mom. The woman who pushed you out of her body is-- - Your cousin. - No, no, no, no. - That's my great aunt. - That's his aunt. - Oh, wow. - Technically his, yeah. That would be his, right, that'd be your great aunt. - But my mom who pushed me out of her body, she looks up to you 'cause--

She's in the program and she talks about it and how you're a good influence on the program. Where does she live? She used to live in LA and now she lives in Northern California. And you grew up in California? Yeah, I was born in Burbank and then I moved up to Northern California. Then I went on a couple of alien spaceship travel adventures and now I'm back here somehow. I wound up back here. When you say alien spaceship, do you mean Sandy Hook? No.

Listen, man. Like I said, the only guns I have are these ones right here. If you do the gun thing, I swear to fucking God, dude, we're never going to see you again. No more gun arm jokes. I'll show you I'm not armed. Don't, don't, don't. Slow down, slow down, dude. Show me your hands. Yeah, what does that say? I got something here. What is that? Hand sanitizer. Hand sanitizer. Sleeping mask. I got a battery pack from the casino. Because I do go, yeah, I'm learning poker.

This guy is unbelievable. What medication you on, man? Dude, I'll tell you. I take a daily dose of good vibes and also anxiety, and then you combine those two.

You take anxiety medication? No, I don't. You don't take any medication? I am on copious amounts of caffeine. Maybe that's considered. How many cups of coffee? I drink roughly about 400 milligrams per day, which is about four cups of coffee a day. But if I want to push the limits, maybe there's assignment I got to deal with, you know, maybe six, 800 we pushing, you know, but my heart is pumping. So I'm alive and I'm

It would do that without the coffee. Yeah, it just goes a little faster. It certainly does. How many times have you been at Burning Man? Dude, I've never been, but I've gone to a couple of raves here and there. I like to turn up, but I'm sober at the raves, which is funny. All my friends are rolling and tripping out, and I'm just pumping my fist on caffeine. Stop waving those guns around. Yeah, it's scaring us. Wait a minute, so you're sober completely, yeah? No.

For the most part, I like to live a sober lifestyle because of all the addiction in my family and stuff. But I've never actually been sober. I like whiskey. I've been trying to experiment a little bit, but I'm not like drunk. I'm just for the flavor like an old man. And I'm 23. Interesting. How was the dating life?

It's great. Like I said, ethical non-monogamy. It's a lot of fun. You have a girlfriend, but you're practicing ethical non-monogamy? Yeah. Okay. So they're hooking up with other people. And is she allowed to? Yeah. Does she tell you about it? Yeah, she does. And she's bisexual, so it's mostly women, which is a good time for me. That's the dream. You guys live together? No. No.

Not yet. Yeah. Because... That's one thing to send. Well, it'd be hard to live together and fuck so many other people. I mean... Get a camera set up in her place. I trust her. No. Well, she tells him. My feeling is it's bad. Why? She tells him. They tell each other. She tells me. Does she show you photos of the guys? We respect each other. And it's like I said, it's mostly women. Oh, it's mostly women. Because I don't have that kind of part. I don't think so. My gut says it's mostly men.

And real men. I know you're also, you had a past with Ozempic and stuff, so maybe your gut might be a little wrong here, but I don't know. I respect. He's a doctor, dude. I knew it. Dude, I'm actually thinking about getting a PhD. I'm texting the cops.

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Yeah, dude, my best line with women is like, look, is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them. It's a working. It goes 10 out of 10. You know, their legs are trembling. You hear a clam getting wet. We're going to die today. This is it. When we looked at each other, we knew we were going to die today. Yeah. Thank you. My God. Don't kill us, please. What do you plan on doing when you get old? I like the bad friends. What's your goal? My goal in life?

Or what? No, in somebody else's life. Maybe Harry Truman. Harry S. Truman. Yeah, yeah. What's your goal in life? My goal in life is to make enough money that I don't have to worry about bills. How much money is that? That's maybe $100,000 a year. That's a good level for me. And then I just want to make cool art and enjoy the world and practice mindfulness and creativity. Okay.

I want to also make movies. I'm in film school right now. Yeah. You know what? I bet you he's a better director than you are, bud. Okay? I trust him before you, bud.

I don't. I can direct. Can you get financing? Yeah, I can get financing. Sometimes it's a little under the table. You know, it's Hollywood. This kid is from the Eastern Bloc. Shit happens. He's not from Burbank. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This kid is from the Eastern Bloc. Yeah, yeah. There's no doubt in my mind. Inland Empire? The way he talks, there's a little Russian in the background. Oh, there's a little in there. He's got a little sneak in there. Where were you really born? I was born in Burbank, California. Yeah, Burbank Hospital. But like I said. I hear it, dude. Yeah.

I was born in Burbank, Moscow. See? Burbank Hospital. Say Gulag. Gulag. Welcome to the Gulag. Call of Duty, man. You play. See? Let's get it, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how they talk. I know. There's something about them, though. It's a good meme, bro. Are you good or bad? I think there's a combination of both. Yeah. Bobby, I've seen you one time like polling in real life. I saw you at the comedy store and you were getting mobbed by a lot of women. And I was like,

Good on you. Yeah. Did you say anything to me that night? No, I just watched it from a distance. I said hi, but you're busy, bro. You're busy, you know, navigating the precious female. Well, my friends are there, so, you know. Let's go over preventing gun violence here. Let's signs of a shooter, critical signs. Yeah, yeah. Number one. Suddenly withdrawing from an activity. Okay.

Do you withdraw from friends and activities? No. Very social. I'm pretty social, yeah. Excessive irritability. Yeah, that one's up there. Yeah. Like one time, I heard fireworks going off, and I just hit the deck. I thought it was something else. This for sure. Experiencing chronic loneliness or social isolation. Yeah, I play games, dude. Yeah. On the internet. Making direct threats towards a place, another person, or themselves. You ever done that?

Only the haters. There you go. Do you have any guns or at home? No, just samurai sword. Number 10 is the dangerous one. That's worse. Cruelty to animals. Have you ever been mean to any animal? No, I love animals. Good. Then you're clean. I really do love animals. That is the testament for me. I just moved in with some little wiener dogs. What do you mean? They had an apartment and they put out an ad? Four little wiener dogs put out a fucking...

So the wiener dogs, they look nice, but then they are fairly football-shaped. In need of human roommate who will pick up poop, get us food, and also pick up our poop. Please walk us. But it's kind of like football. And I didn't want to hurt the dogs, but it's just one of those...

That's my dog. How many dogs are in the house? There's three. And then me, of course, because I'm an animal. I'm a creature feature, you know what I'm saying? My guys, for sure you are. Hide your kids, hide your wife.

Because they're going to fall in love, dude. That's right. That's why you got to hide it. Well, because, you know, they'll end up a member of the family of the family, you know? Get this, what I'm saying. Also. Thank you. How's your. Also, also, also. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. That didn't play. But anyway, I'm bombing today. Well, you know, you're a very interesting guy, dude. Consensual nominee. I'm an open book. I think he could be in the crew.

Just promises you won't kill us. I won't kill you. I promise. I'll defend you with my life. Yeah. If there's a rhino coming down the road, I will not be able to stop it, but I'll try. Where are we with the rhino? I don't know. Burbank rhinos. You never know. Are there rhinos in Burbank? Have you seen Babylon, dude? They've got animals hooking off trucks every day. So who knows? There's a stray rhino. I'll defend you, Bobby. I won't stop it, but I'll try. I like you. Thank you. I like you. What's that? You like him?

You know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I do like him. I do. I do like him. Yeah, yeah. There's something special about him. Yeah. You know, I feel like he's got something extra, like a chromosome or something. That's for sure. Yeah. And do you have brothers and sisters? Oh, that's where it gets complicated, right? I love... Why, we don't want to go down there? No, no, I do. I want to hear the complication. I'll tell you. So I got one brother and like... And he's my dad. And I have an uncle. Oh.

Who's also my brother. You're not going to believe this. My sister is my mom. Yeah. My cousin, my aunt. Is my dog. Yeah, is my dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it? Tell us. I mean, DNA is a double helix. That is true. Okay. Shit gets complicated, but... Tell me about your family line. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. So I had a brother...

I always knew he was my brother. I always knew he was my brother. I have him still. He is 13 years older than me, and he's an interesting fellow. He's going to be moving to Thailand. He's a DJ, but he still lives with his mom and stuff, but he's cool. He's moving to Thailand, and he's also a DJ? Yeah. Well, why else would you go to Thailand? Call the FBI, dude. Right.

No, dude. That's who moves to Thailand. DJs. And then... DJ Island. This is the cool part, or the crazy part, is that essentially my second cousins, who I thought were just some distant-ass relatives, they're my biological siblings now. Uh...

Dude. Dude. Hell yeah, dude. White trash, baby. So, Burbank. Who would have known? Where do you live in NorCal? Where in Northern California? I used to live an hour north of San Francisco. Where? So, that's out in the wine country. It's called Santa Rosa. Lodi? Yeah. Yeah. So, then there's a lot of animals out there. I probably got some brain damage. One time I drank a puddle. I drank a puddle for $5. Yeah.

Because you know when you're a kid, $5, $5. Yeah. So I drank a puddle and then now I'm here. Drank a brain-eating amoeba. And even the amoeba got up there and was like, not much to chew on. That's crazy. I'm just going to hang out for a little while. What else have you eaten or drank? Besides my own bodily fluids on accident a couple times. A couple times. Yeah, yeah. Like your pee? One time, shame on me. Two time, I like to taste the pee.

Players fuck up, man. That's what happens. Yeah. Players gotta play. Players fuck up. Players gotta play. I think I'll play it. Players. Wow. Fancy, get it out clean if you're gonna get it out. God, every time. I think you're rubbing off on me, dude. Yeah.

I don't even know what I'm saying. He's never stumbled like this. It's you, dude. So, Bobby, I was wondering, can you give me some advice? I'm trying to learn. On what? On how to just be out in the world, like in this crazy world. Oh, okay.

So I think you need more flames on your body. You're right. Like flamey pants. Like on fire? Well, you know, flame stitchings on your jeans. Yeah, he means like Guy Fieri. I met Guy Fieri. Go on. That doesn't surprise me. Go on. Yeah. So that...

I think you need some chain mail. Chain mail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty cumbersome. Chain an entire bodysuit of chain? Just a chest chain mail. I was considering going to the Ren Faire, and I saw you were out there, and I was thinking, you know, maybe I should get some chain mail out there.

How'd you meet Guy Fieri? I'll tell you. I was a DJ technician, so I was setting up cables. Did he have technicians? They always put me in the grunt work, so I was out in the dark freaking setting up cables. And then they were having some kind of Salvation Army event donation, and Guy Fieri was walking around. So I said, what's up? I took a picture with him, and then my boss got mad at me.

But I took it on the chin because I'm not a beta male. I don't tuck my tail as we were talking. Whoa. I'm ready to rumble. Yeah. Is that the biggest celebrity you've ever met? The biggest celebrity that I ever met is probably PewDiePie, who's one of the biggest YouTubers. I don't know who that is. Actually, no. You know what? The biggest celebrity I've ever met is Bobby Lee.

That's true. What's his name? I saw Bobby Lee in the Borderlands movie. He looks just like you. Yeah. Or she met him. Are his cousins married? If I asked him, do you remember? Oh, hell no. Oh, I remember him. Yeah, he freed me out. I mean, how obviously foreign is this guy? Yeah, he's from Sweden. Yeah, no shit. See? You look just like this fucking guy, dude. Hey, that's pretty cool.

You do. Doesn't he look like this guy? Am I sure? The same type of guy. Yeah, so going along with the style, like flames on the pants, what else should I do? I'm trying to up my, you know, I'm a noob. I'll be honest with you, with your look, I could see him in Game of Thrones or something. You know what I mean? Like a weasel or something, right? Yeah. But you do have, you are kind of oddly good looking in a weird way. Nope.

Yeah, you're not seeing it. I'm not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks like a nice guy. Like a Jude Law. But Jude Law was in an accident. He looks like Jude Law? Yeah, look up Jude Law. I'll tell you, though. You mentioned weasel, and I like to consider myself a certified lawyer. A young Jude Law. So, like, I'd be loitering around, waiting, weaseling out. I don't think he looks anything like that. Those are old Jude Laws. Oh, dang. I think I'm wrong.

Yeah, no. Like that, boom. Nope. There you are, dude. Yeah, see, look at. Oh, no, it's more Romulan. Yeah, it's a Romulan, as I was thinking. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I think that I did have a cameo in Game of Thrones. I was one of those guys who just instantly got archered down. I fell off the wall. Yeah. Are you being real? No. Oh. Couldn't tell? No. No. He's confusing. He is. Yeah, yeah. He is confusing. All right, bud. Well, you know, we, very good interview. Thank you. Do you remember his name?

Do you? You don't remember his name? He said it three times. I'll tell you again. No, give me the first initial. Give him a hint. First initial. J. J. J is the, no. Oh. Jason. Jake. It's partly Jason. Jackson. Yep. There you go.

Now, you know who to call the cops about. Am I right? Dude, this guy. I love this guy. Don't give me a restraining order because like I said, I speak a lot of languages, but my favorite language is the language of love and I'm not here to... And you speak it so much. I also speak Jigglypuff. What's Jigglypuff? The Pokemon. Do more. Yeah, dude.

Jigglypuff? Yeah, do more, please. Jigglypuff goes hard. I don't know if you've seen, but... We can do Jigglypuff. YouTube, give me what he sounds like. All right, I'll turn it off. I can't do it. He's saying, oh, Jigglypuff. He is? No, he's not. Oh, Jigglypuff. Oh, Jigglypuff. I'm not gay, but I just felt something.

Did you feel something? You're serenading me, man. Look at my eyes. Don't. Look at me in the eyes. This guy reminds me of when we would do fan meet and greets. Yeah. And this guy would show up. Yeah.

And he'd be like, dude, Andrew, I'm sorry, but I just, I love Bobby so much. And I'd go, I know, dude. Andrew. I know who your fans are. I know who your fans are. Give him some comedy. No, no, no, I don't want any. I gotta be honest with you. I can tell who your fans are. What do I say? Well, from a mile away, when they come up, I go, Bobby's fan. Hardcore Bobby's fan. I actually really like your sound comedy. Thank you, I love you. Let him finish. I love it.

Let him finish, Andrew. No, I love you, buddy. I can just tell from my way. Shut up, Andrew. Go ahead. Finish. So I love your stand-up comedy. It's really witty. Thanks, buddy. And I've never seen your pubes on stage or anything like that. No? Like another comedian who I've probably seen. Oh, that's what it is. He's connected to your pubes. Stand up. Stand up and show them your pubes. Would you like some to take home? Give him something to take home. Can we get some scissors real fast?

Do you have any scissors? Would you like to take some home? Give him some to-go pubes. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that sick? Oh, not a knife. Oh, my fucking God. Not a knife, dude. Get scissors, fuckhead. Well, give me that knife. No, no, no. Dude, don't cut yourself. No. No, don't do that. Don't do it. No, you'll cut yourself. Don't get the scissors. Here we go. I have to sing the song while we're doing it. I do it. I do it. I do it. Oh, kick a leap.

I don't have any pubes. Yeah, you do. Look. Yeah, there's some there. You got to go to your nutsack. Go close to your nutsack. Be careful, bud. You do it then. Put your ball sack out. You do it then. The ball sack is shaven clean. There's nothing? No. Get this section right here. Oh, no. It's so close to your penis. It's unbelievable. I don't care. See, how do you grab it, though? That's the problem. You scoop it off your chest there. Can you two scoop it up? I can't.

I'll come. No, no, no. No, back up. Sit back down. All right. We'll deliver to you. Understood. I understood the assignment. You know what you could do? You could sniff these scissors. Hey, man, I drink a puddle, so anything for money at this point. What?

would you do I have a hundred bucks in my pocket what would you do for a hundred bucks I'd do anything for a hundred bucks from Bobby Lee man except some some sexual acts that no we're not doing that we're not doing that how about how about brown nose him what brown nose him lay on the ground you gotta stick your his nose in your butthole I'm down for some experimentation right stick this in your butthole this is monogamous not monogamous

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. I'll give you some insight just because I like you guys. Oh, thanks, brother. Thanks, brother. All right. I've tried some kind of stuff along those lines before. And you know what? It's pretty fun, dude. And look, I'm telling you, man. Well, give me that thing.

There you go, dude. I'm secure in my masculinity, dude. But listen. But listen, dog. When Voldemort is coming for me, dude, in both ways, you know... What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Dog...

It's a little bit of a cursed object. So I only like made objects, and that doesn't have a good enough flared base. You know what I'm saying? Can you do a handstand? I could do a cartwheel, but it's pretty mid. I don't want to see you break your arm. How about this? Do just pop locking for a minute. Pop locking? What do you do for us, by the way? Is he an intern for us? Yeah, I'm an intern. I do a lot of research.

And I got to come here. This is tight. What do you do for us? Same thing. Do you guys get along? Are you guys over at Seven Eckys? You guys are tight? So George hired you. Bryce. Bryce or Lane. It was one of them, but Bobby, can I tell you something? Not me. I objected. Bobby, I tried to walk up to you one time in real life, and I tried to give you my resume. Okay.

I'm not even joking. And that was a bad mistake on my part. Very bad. Players fuck up, like I said. Yeah. But. I don't do that anymore because of McCone. Remember what you did to me there? What did I say? You said, nah, I'm going to lose in my car. And then you went to go get some more. That sounds pretty accurate. Beautiful women. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy gets beautiful women. Guess what? Guess what, dude? Yeah. Jackson. Hey, thank you.

Sorry. From now on, I'll say hi to you. We know each other now. Hell yeah. No, you'll forget. No, I will know, Jackson. We met before. I have to warn all the other comics about him. Clear the hallways. He's here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm sort of a creature feature, and people always think they know me. They've seen me around. They probably have, because like I said, I'm a loiterer, but...

A creature feature is the type of film, typically horror science fiction, where the monster supernatural creature is the main antagonist. Well, guys, if you're talking about the paradoxicality of the film industry, all right, I'll tell you a thing or two about it. There's different genres. You've got to pay mind of the mise-en-scene. All of that kind of stuff is quite important. So I was not quite referring to the creature feature per se, but, you know, that is a good genre. Yeah.

See, this could be a PSA for inbreeding. How dangerous it really gets. It really is dangerous. Don't fuck your cousin. I thought you were going to be talking about, like, everyone should do it. No, buddy. Get on board. No way, guy. Get off the boat. Get off the boat. No way, guy. I got to tell you, Jackson. Jackson Hole, you're an interesting guy. Interesting guy.

You've got a bright future. Like the baby... If I hire anyone to babysit my kids, it would be this guy, but... Yeah, this cat... Yeah, yeah. He's normal. I'd hire you to... I'd hire you to... Landscape? Who do you hire? No, fuck. I don't care about that. But landscaping in North Dakota, like...

Far away. Yeah, yeah. I know I live in, you know what I mean, LA, but go to North Carolina. Have you ever done manual labor? Dude, I have. They put me to work, man. Like I said, I was a DJ technician, so I carried a lot of speakers and stuff. But then there's like situations where you just go off a Craigslist ad and they're like, we got some machetes. Can you just go cut some shit? And then- What would you go cut? Dude, you cut bamboo, you cut whatever. And I don't know- Is that you? You did that? You hired him to do that? No.

What else did you go cut? My pandas were hungry. You got to feed them. They can't just not eat. Did you know that bamboo is technically the largest grass? Yeah. It's a grass. We didn't need to know that, but I do know that. I'm like an encyclopedia, dude. I know every single thing. If you want any information, I'll tell you how to. What do giraffes eat? I'll tell you. Giraffes, they eat the conifer tree.

because it is quite high up and it's very nutritious as far as the photosynthesis goes within the plant. The second half was bullshit. Ask him another one. Describe to me, give me the scientific explanation of why fish can breathe underwater, how gills work.

All right, so listen. There's a fish, right? Good start. You've eaten a couple of sashimi, but they can also be our friends. So you see a fish, and as the trajectory of the fish cuts through the water in the perfect angle, the oxygen is absorbed in the gills. So for us, that's like...

I don't know, maybe if you're 69ing and you just get a second and you get a fresh of breath air, that's what it feels like when the fish swims through the water at the perfect trajectory. It's getting that extra air in, you know, but if you take them out the water, dude, you're back underneath and you got to hold your breath again. I know who you are now.

Who am I? A fucked up Willem Dafoe. Dude, and I also have the big penis. Can you see it? Just kidding. Yeah. There is something about him that's Willem Dafoe-y. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, not now. You're way worse. Yeah. Dude. Do that smile. AI is going to fix...

AI is going to fix me, dude. Pretty soon, it's going to be like one of those video games. You just customize your character. I can add a couple of inches to my height. You know, maybe lose the fucking... Expect a patron on that hole. Am I right? Yeah, yeah. We're muting you now.

Well, Jackson. Jackson Hole. Thank you. Thank you. I think you're a fantastic creature. Okay, you don't have to bow to me. Sorry. It's polite. It's polite. Thank you, Jackson Hole. Thank you, Jackson Hole. Oh, Jackson. That's good. That's not because. It's not screwed in. No, no, that's not your fault. McCode didn't put the weight back on the fucking. It's okay. Thanks, Jackson. What a guy. Where do we go from there? I don't know. What a guy, though. Interesting guy. Yeah. That was wild. He's wild.

Should we fire him? No, I kind of want to keep him. Only one more month. Really? We got to get him a job, I think. Yeah, I think we got to get him a job. And then what? What are we going to make him do here? Landscaping. In North Dakota. Yeah. In North Dakota. I like this guy. Both of them I liked. They're both great. Yeah. We've done a great job having a good crew of interns come through this show. What? He wants a job. You want a job? Okay. Okay.

He wants a job. What are we going to do? He just bagged. That was so sad. Give him money. I'm going to give him $100. You're going to give him money. Yeah. Should I do it now? Yeah. Make him come get it. Come here, guys.

No, no, no. Here's some money for you. Are you serious? Yeah. Because I actually am not paid at all. Yeah. There's money. Just have a dinner. Nice dinner for you guys. Are you sure? Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much. That genuinely means a lot. Thank you. That's very nice, Bobby. I don't want to shake hands, but... No, no. Back the fuck up, bro. One day? No day. No day. No, no, no. No day. No, no, no. Don't worry about it. You deserve that. You deserve it. You guys deserve that. You guys are both fantastic. Thank you so much.

You change their day. You see what you do? That's like five Chipotles visits. Can I do a, can I do like a little, like a little Larry King out for this? Yeah, please. Here's the deal. What we've learned today is the levels of which Bobby Lee's depth of love in the public eye goes deeper than any of us ever anticipated. He's able to reach out and shape lives he's not even really connected to. We learned that Jackson's mom,

cousin sister brother needed help with sobriety found it through you and your humor and who you are and your commitment to the program and we learned that barnacle that's his name yeah barnacle diego diego diego like san diego yeah i know we learned that diego uh no he's a good guy he's a good guy bob you got any final words for the kids no absolutely not thank you for being a bad friend