Shownotes Transcript
Hello. Hello. Hello, mate. My. Binge on toast. We're coming to London, England and Dublin, Ireland. Right. London, England, Dublin, Ireland. July 18th and July 19th for Ireland. That's right. 18th in London, 19th in Ireland. You guys come out and see us. Go to badfriendspod.com. Kicks are going fast. They are going very fast. Dublin's about to shell out. Shell out. So July 18th and 19th. Go to badfriendspod.com. You two are bad. Who are these two idiots? Woo-hoo.
dude i'm an asian dude you two are disgusting you two are something we're bad friends what is this shirt that you got in australia look at bobby got a shirt in australia it's a stress dude you cannot fit in this why can't he fit in it dude it's just saying that i'm fat i think you fit in that easily thank you benny what do you talk do you actually think he can't fit in it no dude all right put it on a part of him this is no i think it looks exactly here dude what
No, look at this. You clearly can't fit. Take that one off first. No, I'm going to do it off. Why do you have to do it off? Do it on. Do you have boobies? On, on, on, on, on. Oh, you look great. Oh, he's Osempic. Are you on Osempic? He is. Actually? Yeah. Why are you on Osempic? He's on the other one. The fat baby. So you could fit in the shirt you bought? Yeah. That shirt was $9,000. No, it's got to fit. Okay, let's see. It fits. It fits perfectly. Fits good. It's perfect.
Wow, dude. I like it. I'm going to wear it too now. Wait, are you actually on Ozempic? Yeah, I am. Really? Not Ozempic. He's on the other one. Manjaro. No, Wugovic. No, but I was on Ozempic too. What's Wugovic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there is no Wugovic. You just made up Wugovic. Hey, dude, we're not as successful as you. We can't afford premium brand. What are you talking about? That shirt was $9,000. I know. It was $9. Yeah. So, Benny, the reason why, because a girl told me I was fat and I was like,
And she was not attracted to me when we were making out, and I had to lose the weight. Why do you keep going like this with your hair? Because I'm emo, dude. Okay. And you're a musician, so I'm just trying to be cool, dude. Okay. What's up, man? It's very difficult to get comfortable in this chair. That's the point of the chairs. I love those pants. Thanks. Are those cowhide? No, they're...
I was shopping with my fiance at- Ooh! Ooh! Wait, now he's changing again. Ooh!
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hands-free, well, we already are hands-free. But we're like, there's nothing in our face. We're not wearing a headphone. Like we're just talking in a room. You don't have to wear headphones, but this is how we hear each other more crisp. And you can hear the levels if we play video. I know what Benny's saying. What are you saying? Like a lav mic or something? Or like maybe a mic here? Yeah, maybe just something simple. Benny, what's it like having a super famous fiance? Very good question. Can you go to, wait, wait, wait. Can you go to a mall? Like can you go to the Beverly Center with her? No.
- You never, try. - No, like. - Let's try. - Well, you don't go to the Beverly Hills. - I know, I know. - Well, okay, okay, here's what it is. She's like a homebody, like her favorite thing to do. Let's not talk about a woman's body on the show. - That's so demeaning. - Your wife's body is insane, man. - I know, I'm shaming. - Yeah. - No, her body's like a house. It's a big, burly house.
She, no, she just likes to chill at home. So do you though. Yeah, yeah. I'm like a big chill. Like, I don't want to go to like, like we're not going to, like we want to like chill it. That's us every night. Every night I go there. All I want to, like I want to, I want to, I want to relax at home with like my friends and like drink wine and like, you know what I mean? I feel like, I think, I think I'm just getting, no, I think I'm just getting old. Like, I think I'm getting older. What are you, 35? Yeah.
Wait, are any of you guys sober? No, you're not. I'm in the program. Okay, okay, okay. Are you in the program? I'm not, I'm not. But some of my family. No, some of my family. I just want to say. So like. I have powers too, dude. Okay. Okay. I don't have Selena Gomez power, but I buy my own power, dude. Okay. Okay. He is Hector Gomez, the guy that works right outside. Yeah, dude. The guy we buy fruit from. He works at Pep Boys, dude. Okay, okay. No, no. I'll change your tires. Okay.
Go ahead. I don't even know what I was talking about. Yeah, you do. Oh, the alcohol. Okay. When I was like, until like 31, I could drink the entire night, sleep zero, be
Go to bed at 5 a.m., wake up at 6, work a full day. Now I have two drinks and I feel hungover for three days. And I just can't take it. Why don't you get in the program? He's in the program, get in the program. Also, Benny, check this out. I'm 53. You're 53? Yeah, thank you. You look so young. Thank you, Benny. See this right here? That's a gun. Do you see it? Yeah. Right? Yeah. No, it's not a gun. This is a gun. Okay, what's this? This hurts.
Going in your ass? No, no, no. I'm just saying. I was trying to make a point that everything hurts. Oh, yeah. I should have done that. Why didn't you just show it? You're right. You're right. You're right. I should have just done this. Yeah. Why did I do that? I don't know. I don't know.
That's insane. Are you sure you mean that you're feeble and crippled at this point? No, what I'm saying is that you get arthritis. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? And your body just breaks down. And I'm sober, and it happens. In fact, I had my three-year AA birthday Saturday, and nobody came.
texted me in this room. Do you know why? Why? Because you've had a lot of sober birthdays. We've had to change the date seven times. I know, but- Remember this trophy we gave you for kicking at the habit in 2022? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I relapsed so much. Yeah. It happens. It happens. Well, Benny is- It does. I come from- My family is- He's a child of fetal alcohol syndrome. No. I can already tell. I can tell already. Don't bring that up.
Don't I look insane? Can I clear the air? Yeah. Yeah. I look insane. Benny and I have known each other for so long. Yeah. And you're my dog and I love you. And when you did my show and I asked about Selena, the internet got so mad. They thought I was picking on you. I was like, we were teasing each other. People were like, don't be fucking mean to Benny. I don't read any comments. The fans came everywhere.
Dude. My fans are crazy. Dude, not your fans. First of all, they're your fucking wife's fans. You nerd. I mean, when you're married to Selena, oh, you're married? I'm engaged. Engaged. Does that make your upper lip moist? Because your upper lip right now is so moist. Dude, he chapsticks a lot. You do? Why? Because I have to now. What?
I have to have an upper lip that's moist. Dude, that's so funny. He's right. Yeah. When you start dating someone hot and famous, you have to have moist lips. Yeah. Look at all the hot guys. They always have moist lips. I got to have moist. What am I supposed to do? My lips are supposed to look like an asshole? Right, right. Like, just be cracked? What are you doing? He's moistening, dude. It's not making them moist. Oh. Now you look insane. Yeah. Whoa, hold on one second. Are you? Hello, Sidney Sweeney? Yeah.
Yeah, Bobby Lee's right here. Oh my God. Whoa. That's all it took. It worked, right? Yeah, dude. Are you in a relationship? That's bullshit. I wanted that. He knows I can't. No one wants to fuck me. Shut up. What do you mean no one wants to? Nobody wants to fuck me. That's not true. You're bringing it up. Why? Because you're with Selena? I think you're so cute. Dude, okay. I'm going to say something right now and we're not going to bring it up again. I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of it too. What is it? Because you're so loved. I'm tired of it too. Right now. Yes.
- Benny, right now what I'm doing is I've talked to my therapist and I'm gonna spend the next six months to a year completely alone. - Why? - Because-- - Celibacy? - Yeah. - So no dating at all? - Yeah, and I'll tell you why. It's just not happening. - That's not-- - No, no, I'm meeting people, right? But it's just like, I wanna be able to click like this guy and ride on a unicorn. - You deserve to be on that unicorn.
Thank you so much. I like the way you did that. I can't do that because I'm stuck in a plastic chair in between a, like, here's my unicorn. Now, if I'm a unicorn, right, where am I on the unicorn? Can I be honest? That doesn't look like a unicorn at all. No, no, he's on. Korean unicorns are different. No, no, no. I don't think that's the unicorn. I think that's him on top of the unicorn. Yeah. Are your arms hurt? Is this because arthritis? Yeah, arthritis. What's wrong with your arms? And why have you been out of breath? I smoke cigarettes. So you're just out of breath all the time?
Why does everyone come out here nitpicking all my frailties? Okay, wait. I'm a unicorn. Where am I on the unicorn? What happened to your other arm? I'm going left. I'm going left, dude. Anyway, I'm sitting on the horn. You haven't found the wine. You deserve the wine. Anyway, so go ahead. What? This is your date. What's the rest of the fucking date?
- Well, it's the get to know you portion of the date. - Get to know her, she's right there. - Oh really? Yes, so. - Hi, my Riot profile set to 20. - I know, but I'm assuming it's 30. - Okay. - Okay. So, hey, Kalaya. No. - Oh yeah, no, no, no. - Right, right. Hi, Mayo. Would that be a good name? - Mayo. - Mayo. - Hi, Mayo. - Hi. - Hi.
Hi, Bobby. I would probably do a joke like, you like mayo?
Bobby, that wasn't funny. Bobby, can you keep going? I'm drowning. I'm already drowning. I'm already drowning. Bobby, can you keep going? Yeah, I'll keep going. So, Mayo, are you L.A. raised, born? Good. Raised or born? I was born in Tallahassee. Tallahassee, New York. Yeah, Tallahassee, New York. Yeah, Tallahassee, New York. That's in Florida. In Florida? Yeah. Oh, I love Florida. How long have you been in L.A.?
- Oh, Bobby, I get asked this on every day. - Oh, forget it. What are your dreams? - My dreams? - Yeah, yeah. - It's getting better. - Oh, I like that. - Yeah. - Well, I kinda wanna be-- - You're not gonna make it. - What? I'm not? - Yeah, I don't think you're gonna make it. - Why? - Can I get you guys something to drink? - It's a tough count. Oh, hi. - Hi. - Oh my God, you look so hot. - Cut it out. - Geez, oh my God, are you doing your Leo face? - Hey, Mayo. - What, yeah? - What the fuck you doing?
- Whoa. - No, what do you mean whoa? - That's weird. - Watch, oh, I bring you on a date, you little redheaded fucking thunder sticker. - Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am. - I'm just, is this guy bothering you? - He might be a little. - I'll throw him out. - You will?
This is not how you want the date to go, sir. Yeah. Fuck you, sir. Whoa. Yeah. Fuck you. You know what, Mayo? I'm going to grab you. Whoa. I'm going to grab you by the shoulder. Get in the car. Oh my God, dude. Right? We're going to where you deserve to go, Shake Shack. Oh, I love Shake Shack. Now we're in Shake Shack. That's actually cool. Okay, now when you're at Shake Shack, is he coming? Yeah, he's coming. Of course he's coming. Okay, okay, okay. You guys want something to drink? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just went...
He just works. He works. Yeah. And I'm like, and I'm like, oh, my God. Hey, do you know what I ask about? You know who they are? They're what they're what I'm trying to get to is if there's like if they're damaged and you want to stay. I want to see if there's trauma. No. If there's like some sort of deep trauma going on, you know what I mean? If they have a dream here in L.A., you know, can they make it? If they can't make it, I don't want to do it.
How do you know? How do you know? Because I'll go on their Instagram. It took you like 40 years to make. It takes everyone so long. You can tell. Benny, let me ask you something. You know, you're a producer, right? Yeah. Right? You can hear it. If you saw a girl's Instagram and saw her singing, would you be able to, can you tell?
I don't know. Yes, you can. Danny, look at me. You're going to tell a singer? I thought she was a boom mic. Made of sand. What I'm saying is that can't you tell as a stand-up, a girl, if she's at the open mic level, that she may or may not make it? You can usually tell a stand-up if they're going to grow. Exactly. So you want someone to grow with you.
No, I just want to be able to look and at least she has the ability to make it. Okay. Sure. I don't like when people are like, I'm a good singer and then they can't and that leads to delusion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want delusion. You don't want, okay. Yeah, yeah. No delusion. I want a good family upbringing. Okay, delusion, boom mic. Yeah, boom mic. Not delusion. Family upbringing though, this is, I always talk about it. Oh, Benny. No, no, because my mom always says this.
She always says, she's like, but you know, before, before I started, you know, dating Selena, she would always say, I want you to be with someone from a good family. And then I don't agree with that. My mom was from a shitty family. Like my mom has a terrible, I don't, you don't get to choose who your parents are. Sometimes your parents are dickheads. I don't know. I don't believe, I believe that they should have like a crazy,
a close relationship with like someone in their family but I don't think you have to be best friends with all your family it's great if you are it's fucking amazing but most people's parents are divorced most people you know they're I don't I don't know your parents aren't divorced my parents are both are the divorced oh they are they are the divorced you talk to your dad I speak to my dad oh
You heard a daddy issue come out right there. Yeah, I saw it. I wouldn't date you. I'm Mayo. I wouldn't date you. But I'm Mayo. I know, but Mayo, check this out, okay? Yes, yes. Stop pointing at me when you talk to me. Okay. What's wrong with you? No, he has arthritis. Arthritis. Yeah. Okay. If they're in a... Let's say their family died in a fire. Yeah. Can I be honest with you guys? I have to go back to the kitchen. Can I get your drink order? Because I need...
No, no, no. I've been waiting here for far too long. No, we have our order. Just give us a second. Okay. Get this out of the way. I'll wait here. Okay. Yeah. I have like five other tables. If your parents died in a fire, right? And then years later, I want to take you camping. Yes. Right? And I light a campfire. You might have PTSD from it. I want that. You go camping? He does. I do. You actually camp? Big camp guy. You've never camped before? I actually did a couple months ago. No, he did. He does. And what did you think?
Hated it. Oh, okay. But he doesn't. But you want to know that if you do go camping and you light a fire, your imaginary Mayo girlfriend won't have trauma from that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This all adds up to me. It all adds up.
You guys know what I'm saying? You want to know? He's not at the date inn. He's in my waiter, Benny. He's the waiter, Benny. He just has a stay here? Yeah, yeah. I don't have a choice. He does tip me very well. I guess so. Yeah, okay. What are some of your check marks? Okay, I had- Give me your check marks. Okay, okay. I did, because before I met Selena- How'd you meet her? We've known each other for like 15 years. But I'm saying before we started dating-
I remember being like, fuck, I keep doing the same thing over and over again. I'm just dating, I'm doing this. And my therapist was like, you gotta make a checklist. He was like, you gotta make a list of the things you want and need. And I had a checklist. And okay, you wanna know what mine were? - Super famous. - Yep, yep. Very rich. - Hispanic for some reason. - Hispanic, yeah. For a good reason. - Yeah.
- Hot. - Yep, okay. - Empathetic. - Yep. - Yep. - Did you say pathetic? - Empathetic. - Oh, I was like, what the fuck? - Yeah. - Empathetic. - Yeah, and pathetic. - Yeah, and pathetic. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And pathetic. - Yeah. - And tinier than you. - That was all of them. - Really? - What was the checklist? - That was it. - No, really, what was it? - No, the checklist was, I wanted, I said 30 or over for me. - Right. - 30 or older, that's what I wanted at the time. That's how I felt. 30 plus.
I wanted someone who was passionate about something. They didn't have to make money or anything, just that they have a passion and they're going towards something. I don't care what it is. If they were like, I do those little paper football things and I'm the best at flicking it through like this, I would say, you keep doing that, babe. Whoa, hey, this is my dream woman. I didn't get mad at you when yours was mayo made of sand. What?
Okay. All right, Benny, this is how Koreans, when they listen, that's the face they make. Watch any movie. So true. Watch Parasite. Rewatch Parasite. That's everyone in Parasite.
Thank you so much, Andrew, for defending my culture. It is true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is he the waiter or is he Andrew again? He's still the waiter. I'm Andrew the waiter. Yeah, Andrew the waiter. All right, so keep going. Because I'm learning from you. Okay, and I wanted someone who was kind and who actually like...
Selena's incredible. When I wake up in the morning, I know what's going through her head. And now what's going through my head too is like, how can we make today the best day for both of us? She's thinking about me. And I feel like a lot of times in relationships,
I felt like I was always giving and I wasn't getting what I wanted in return. And she's so thoughtful, so caring, so compassionate. So I really wanted someone like that. I basically manifested the perfect person for me and I wanted manifest. That's what I want to. Let's go down your realistic. What was your first date? Like our first date? Yeah. Our first day was insane. Okay. So I didn't know we were on a date. Okay. So here's what happened. Okay. Here's what happened.
We had like left, we left the studio one day, we start texting and- So you're producing her album? I produce with her and I have for years, for years, for 10 plus years. So you guys are in the studio. What about this? Yeah, yeah. I was chicken, chicken. Yeah. And she's like, I don't like that sound. How about that? Oh, you listen to yourself. I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, go. And then afterwards, go ahead. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. So afterwards she texts me or no, I texted her and I was like, Oh my God. I was like, I was like, what a great set. I forget what happened, something. And then,
We start texting back and forth and I'm busy that night and we're just texting back and forth. And, and yeah. Yeah. Is there sexual, when you worked with her before, was there some sort of sexual tension? There's never been sexual tension. You never even thought about it? No, I never thought we've always been in relationships. We've always like, there's, there's always there's, we've never even been single at the same professional mode. Always. Okay. So, so,
We start like texting and somehow we start sending like selfies back and forth. Oh, that's how it starts. It was like a selfie thing. Right. And, um, you guys are giggling. There was, there was giggling, but I wasn't thinking of anything. I was just like, Oh, I'm just like, we're working on a song. It's cool. And then she was like, uh,
You want to get some food tomorrow. And so, okay. So before, while we were at the session, we were talking about our dating lives. And I was like, oh my God, I know so many great guys. Why don't you like come to our house one day and like we'll have like a dinner and you can meet some people. Like I literally wasn't even thinking about it.
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36% off for four or more Displates. Displate, collect your passions. So she decided to come over and I was like, oh, my friend has a birthday party. Let's go get some drinks first. We went to my friend. My friend has a bar called Stir Crazy. It's like a wine bar. We went there first and then we went to Jitlada was where my friend was having. You know that place? Yeah. What is it? It's Thai food. You never invite me to Jitlada. It's delicious. Jazz. She runs it. I love jazz. I love jazz too. No, her name is Jazz. Okay.
Keep going. You like it? Stop getting so horny. I'm a hard. Yeah, yeah. So hard? Yeah. Keep going. Jazz, Thai food, my favorite. Okay, so we're just sitting there and then she's like, or no, first we're at the wine spot and she said, oh my God, if this was a, she was like, man, I would have worn something different for this date. And I was like, I was like, we're on a date? And then she was like, what? And then I was like,
And I was so confused. And then she didn't bring it up again. And then we're like hanging, having the best time. She leaves the dinner party. And it was with other people. She leaves kind of early. She's like, I got a video shoot. I got to do something early. And I was like, oh, okay. And then she texts me. She's like, I haven't had that much fun in so long. Then... Are you... No. I still don't... I'm not like putting... Dude, this guy. He's like having sex with her. He's like, is this a date? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, this is a date, right? Yeah, I'm so clueless. Wow. So then we're on our, we're like second date, we're just chilling at my house and we're like- Who organized the second date? You said come over? I think she was like, let's hang out again. It was so casual and it was so, and I was like, I'm so, I'm so-
that she could ever even like me. Then I'm like, oh, okay, yeah, let's hang out again. So we're at my house and we're playing this little game and it's like these cards you pull out. It's so funny that you say that. Yeah.
That was a Wegovy burp. Wegovy burp. Sorry, that was a Wegovy. That should be a question for Wegovy. I had an injection yesterday. Did you? What is Wegovy? It's the same thing as... Ozempic and Manchara? Yeah, yeah. Where does it... In your stomach. Dipsick is the Chinese version. Dipsick? He gets Wegovy from overseas. How long have you been Wegovying? Two months. No, it's more than that. Three months. And how much weight have you lost?
15. Almost 20 pounds. Really? Yeah, 15. And when will you do it, Till? Till you have no torso left. I want to look like Steven Yeun. I was just about to say that. Tell him what you told me in Australia. What did I say? What are you going to get? Oh, yeah, a six-pack and a buff. You're going to get a six-pack. He's going to get buff. You are? Yeah. He's going to get super buff. Are you working out? No. No.
You don't need to work out. Yeah, yeah. Well, Govee literally does all that for you. Let's go back to you and Selena because it was a side quest. Second date, she comes over to your house. Second date, she comes over to my house. We're playing the game. How many people are there? No, it's just me and her. Oh, my God. It's just me and her. Wow. And still in this moment, I'm just like, I'm like,
I'm not even thinking about it like that for some reason. She's at my house. There's this game. And in the game, it says, take a selfie with the person next to you. I was the only one next to her. So she like comes up towards me and like is on my chest and takes a selfie. And then I was and I said, oh, my God.
And then I turned. Oh, my God. What? Let him do it. Oh, sorry. And I was like, oh, my God. And then I just kissed her immediately. And that was our first kiss. It has to be a 95%. You have to be 95%. Higher. 99% sure. With Selena Gomez, you do. With Selena Gomez. How did you know it was 99%? I felt it.
When you feel it, you feel it. Really? Yeah, I felt it. Yeah, he felt it. You're acting like you've never kissed a person before. I have. We're getting there. No, I have. But also, 99%. Yeah, you felt it. You can't be 80% sure. Oh, my God. Sketchy. If she would have went like this, if she would have went and turned away, is the working relationship done at that point? No more songs? No, I don't think so. Really? No, I think we just talked about it. But you would have to apologize, like, I'm sorry, I read it wrong.
I guess so. Yeah, I guess. Have you had to do that before? You've read it wrong? Yeah. You've read it wrong? I've read it wrong, yeah. That's never happened to me before. Wait, have you read it wrong many times in your life? No. Like one time I read it wrong. No, it was more than one. I know it's more than one. Twice. You're lying. Nope, you're still lying.
No, maybe still lying. Every time. Every time. Not every time. I think there's six to eight in your life. You know what, Benny? Your tone today. No. It went from like equal grounds to like you being like them. No, I have you on a roller coaster. That's right. I'll defend Bobby again. You know why? Do you know why he reads it wrong sometimes? Because Bobby lives in the moment. He flies free and beautiful.
On the unicorn. He's the unicorn. And so therefore, he's living in the moment. He assumes, let me try. And if he reads it wrong, he says, I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah. I thought you thought I was wonderful. And she said, no, I'm not sexually attracted to you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Hi, I'm not sexually attracted to you. Will you be my friend? All right, guys, honestly, can I take your drink order at this point? Yeah, no, no. We have our appetizer. We're going to work on the appetizer for a second. We have to discuss this first. You come here every week. You know the menu. I know. There's only two things on the appetizer, but you know what I mean? We're not going to get both. So after the kiss, though, that was it. That was it. And then we hung out constantly. Oh, can I ask you this before? You're not getting into it. Yeah.
You don't have to get into specifics, but did the kiss lead to more that day? It did not. Okay, when did that happen? He wants to know date and time. No, I don't want to know date and time. I just eventually like... Don't get specific. No, no, no. When did you guys start dating then? Immediately. Did you spend every day together? No, because we're both so busy. But...
And very, very quickly, we realized, you know, when like, you first start dating someone, you're like, Oh, I can't give them all my time. But then very quickly, like, it's like, Oh, I have an hour free here. I'll hang out with them. Oh, I have this time here. And very quickly, we realized that we were, I have a little go fever. Yeah, very quickly, I realized we were like, inseparable.
and no i love yeah and i met my best friend who said who said i love you first she did she said it so many times by mistake even what do you mean just like on a phone call okay all right love you bye she was getting like uh uh um i forget and she she was getting like dental work or something something happened and she was like a little woozy and uh
As she was coming to, she was like, I love you. And I was like, and I, and I, and I, and I, I was so scared. I didn't say it back. I didn't say it back. And then one time she was,
Her and Taylor Swift were at a sushi restaurant and they were sending me a voice memo and they were like, oh, my God, this is so much fun. We miss you. We wish you were here. And she's like and she was like, we love you. And then just like she literally said, we love you. And then it was like and then it ended. And then and then I was waiting. I knew we were taking this trip to New York and I was like first class.
No, no, no. He flies private. No, I don't even fly. He drives. I don't like planes. I don't like planes. Do you take planes? Yeah. Southwest, baby. You like Southwest? Yeah. Every time this guy has to go to New York, he has to drive. He's like, I'll be there in three days. Yeah, I drive. I do. I take a boat to Europe.
Are you being real? I'm being for real. There's no way. I swear. You will get nothing done. I swear I take a fucking boat. So you don't fly ever. Be honest with me. I haven't flown. I haven't gotten on a plane since two. Oh, I got on a plane, but I got off of it. I haven't successfully flown on a plane since 2018. And before that, 2015, before that, 2009.
- So you really drive to places? - Yes, and I take a boat. But I just decided two days ago that I'm gonna fly again. - Good, thank you. - I just decided, I was in the shower
and I was sitting on the ground in the shower. I sit on the ground every time I get in the shower. Yeah. And I said, how old am I? I said, how, what? That's funny. Yeah, it's insane. What? You don't sit on the ground in the shower. What? What? No, in the bathtub. In the tub. No, no, in the shower, sit on the ground, let it wash over you. Sometimes I actually lay down and let the water shoot into my asshole.
You never do that? Never did that before, yeah. You've never done it? This is what producers do. Rick Rubin. Quincy Jones. Yeah, that's a Quincy Jones move right there, dude. You let it go right in your butt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where all the good ideas come from. It feels so... Okay, so I was just sitting in the shower and...
I was like, how old am I? I'm 36. And I said, fuck. I said, you know, someone died recently and they were like 90. And I was like, Jimmy Carter. I was like, that's I was like, I was like, shit, I only get to live my life like two more times. I was like, I'm going to die and I'm not going to get on an airplane. I was like, I should just get on an airplane because I might die on that. I might get cancer tomorrow. I might. I don't know. Was that the last time you were in New York?
2018? No, I was in New York like a month or two ago. And you drove there from LA. I was in New York in December and I'm going back in two weeks. And you're driving there? Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess. I thought you were kidding, dude. Do you still want to date me? Yeah. I may. I may. Oh yeah, oh yeah, may. For you, may.
Is it because of death? I'm becoming more attractive to you. Oh, it's working. It's working. See, dude, you wear them down. Now, does that work, wearing down? Be honest. Be your truth. Yes. Wearing down helps. I think so. I don't know if you want to be like, we fell in love because I wore her down. Yeah. But in many ways, you wore Selena down, no? No.
I mean, you were working together for years, right? So you had that friendship trustworthy. There was no trying, though. All right, so I'm not going to try. Yeah, just go on friend dates. Anyway. I don't know yet. I don't know yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to die soon. What's the special today, sir? Oh, today? Yeah. It's Crab Rangoon. Oh, okay.
And then crab rangoon with like a house-made foie gras sauce. I don't know if you guys, you probably not traveled. I don't know. Have you been to France? I haven't. Oh, how'd you get there? I've been a few times by flight, but many times by boat. Wonderful. So you do fly, sir? Before, I used to fly. Wonderful. And for our main course, it is going to be a hand-caught squirrel, squirrel loin. Oh, okay. And it's lightly seared. It's served pretty rare. Do you have hedgehog? Yeah.
Let me check with the chef. See if we still have the hedgehog. Because you got it last week. Yeah, I got it last week. We might have run out, but I will check it. We love the belly fat of that baby hedgehog. Oh my God, it melts right in your mouth. Please, could you check, please? Yes, I will. One second. Did, did, chef! Yeah. Did you, when you were younger, are you finding it that you're getting girls easier now or when you were younger?
Bro, do you find it easier now that you're fucking rich and famous to get girls? Versus when you were poor? I'm all here with you, Bobby. The way you laughed just now, dude, really pissed me off. It did? When you were poor in Chinese. Did it make you mad in real life? Yeah, it did. Everyone laughing, fuck off. Did it make you mad in real life? Yeah. I was just trying to... I got... I was being honest. I know, Benny. I got...
When I was 23 and I was performing as an open mic-er is when I got the confidence to
But before that, I was a virgin. And now he's the king. And now you're the king. Were you confident as a guy? Yeah, he got blowjobs in high school. Everybody got blowjobs in high school. See? Not in high school? I guess at 23, dude. Was 23 first kiss? I mean, I kissed out a girl. I kissed out. She was knocked out. I kissed her out. He kissed her so hard. Okay.
Yeah, so I kissed a girl in high school. Her name was... No need to say the full name. Why? She doesn't need that on the internet. Why is she ashamed? Nothing happened. We just kissed. Why is that not a bad thing? Because what if she doesn't want her name attached to that? All right, Julie Maganol. There it is. So you kissed Julie Maganol. Yeah, Maganol. And then...
Then the next Monday, it was a weekend. Yeah. She denied it to everyone that she kissed me. That's why I said you shouldn't put her full name in this. Yeah. And I remember thinking about it for years. It hurt you. Oh my God. Well, we've all had this moment. I had, okay, let's all give our embarrassing. Okay. I had one. Yeah. My freshman year of college, a girl lived literally two doors down.
So gorgeous like so cool, and we're all like a little friendship circle and then one night I wrote her a note like kind of like a confessional being like I had this crazy crush on you and I was like my heart you know when your heart like hurts It's beating so hard and I slid it under her door And then I went back into my dorm and I was like fuck I was that stupid should I have not done that like what I don't you know like and I just kind of blacked out and thought for like an hour and I hit my hand to God and
I come, I go get something to eat from the commissary. I come back and she's down at the end of the hall with a group of like the other people at the end of the hall, like a girl and another dude. And they were laughing at the note. No. Oh, that's so funny. And that fucking, no, that's so mean. In your face, you fucking idiot. Killed me. That killed me. Oh, that's so sad. I'm so sorry. It fucked me up so much. Oh my God. So there was a girl at the Addison Improv. Oh, it hurt. That hurt. She was a waitress. Yeah. Okay.
And I opened it for Carlos Mencia back in the 90s, right? And I hooked up with her. I had sex with her, right? Then years later, I ran into another comic, and he's like talking about her. You know what I mean? Yeah, she hooked up with all these comics. He listed the name, right? And I go, was I in the list? And he goes, no, she didn't mention you. And I was so hurt by that. That hurts. Yeah, yeah. Give me your hurt. When I was 13,
I asked out my first girl. Okay. Like on a, on a date, my mom literally helped me. I got flowers and chocolates and I did everything. And, and I went to a school that like, it wasn't a great school. So, and there was like a lot of fights. There was a lot of bullying. And there was like a big locker commons. And there was like, you know, almost 2000 kids that went to my school. And she was in the middle and everyone knew it was going to happen. So I went and,
And I did it. And she said yes. Okay. So I'm like, oh, my life. I'm like so happy. But we're so awkward and nervous. We like don't even know. We did like this like weird church hug, like where your butt sticks out. And then like we didn't look at each other. And then we both walked our separate ways. And I was like, will you be my girlfriend? And she was like, yeah. And then I get to class and I sit down. I remember I'm wearing gray sweatpants and a white T-shirt. Do you know?
You know when like, okay, so I dropped a pen and you know when like you bend over and you bend a little too quick and you fart. Yeah, you did that. I bent over and I shit my pants. Oh, wow. Full shit. Full shit. Didn't see that coming. Did that go, yeah. A hundred percent, like, like not even, not like a squirt, like a full, like a, like that, like that smart water bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like inside. And I'm sitting there and I'm like,
oh my God. And I, and I do the thing where you like wiggle and I'm like, it's there, it's in there. Oh my God. And I, and I'm like, it's warm too, right? Yeah. Oh, it's so hot. I do the thing where you wiggle. I don't, I don't, I have no reference to this. Yeah. Most people don't shit their pants. No, what do you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You shit your pants before. Oh,
Wait, stop for a second. Did you just hear your tone? We just met today. Yes. And did you just hear your tone? He shit his pants too. I know, but I'm saying the way you talk to me though is crazy, dude. No.
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Back on track. Wait, real quick. Have you shit your pants with him? Many times. Millions of times. He's seen me. Yeah. I've been with him. It's been bad. My Prius. Remember the Prius? Shit all over it. So I shit my pants. Yeah. And I say, hey, can I go to the bathroom? And in my school, they don't let you go to the bathroom for the first 15 minutes or the last 15 minutes because they think everyone's going to skip. Okay? And I was like, I really have to go to the bathroom. And they were like, no. And I was like,
I'm sick. And they were like, I'm sorry, you're going to have to wait. And I was like, I have to go. And I was so scared that with any movement, any movement, if I move the wrong way, it could like break the seal through like the bottom of my sweatpants and it smells like I have no, and so I'm, I'm, I'm sitting there and I'm like, and I just get up and leave. I get up and leave. And she says, and the teacher goes, the teacher goes,
Wait. And as she's saying, wait, I just turned to the girl and I say, I go, I'll be right back. And I, I closed the door. The teacher's like coming out. I run full speed. Okay. I run to the bathroom real quick.
See if I can fix the situation. It's unfixable. It's gone through my pants. It's in my, it's like, it's, it's, it's probably seep through the other side. It's unfixable. I don't know. I first, I throw away the pants and they're still like, I cannot be fixed. So I run full speed all the way home.
All the way home. And for some reason, my mom is- Wait, wait, wait. You left the school just running? Yes. Are you fucking kidding me? And I lived close to the school. Okay, okay. In your underwear? No, I had my sweatpants back on. No underwear. Okay. And I remember I go home.
I get home. Somehow my mom was there. She's never there. She doesn't even work. My mom worked in another state. She's like, hi, honey, the gardener's just leaving. We don't have a garden. Mom, we don't have. What? What's Bobby doing? And we're just friends. She's not sexually attracted to me. It's a we're just it's a running. It was a bit. I don't like it. Drop it. Drop it. Drop it. I've been defending you all. Was your mom mad at you?
My mom immediately sends me back to school. Doesn't even let me change. Well, you told her the situation? Yes. And she said, I don't care. You're going back to school. She said, I said, what's wrong with this woman? What's wrong with your mom, dude? She goes, get back to school. She was probably fucking the guard. She was like, get back to school. So I had to go back to school. No, you go in the forest. I went back to school and I had missed that period. And somehow, like, I had...
actually had like an extra pair of underwear in my gym like thing because it was gym next and like I escaped it was all good but it was it was fully traumatizing wait a minute the girl never found out you shit your pants found out but she did but she broke up with me I think like two days later she never found out never found out you need to retell that story and say she did find out okay um she found she found out
Why? She found out I shit my pants. How? I thought it was heroic what I did. Yeah. I thought it was heroic. No, you weren't. We did stories where we were embarrassed. What are you talking about? She never knew. She never knew. All that stuff just was meaningless. So it doesn't count. You just gave us a shit story. It wasn't even about heartbreak.
The shit section's at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so... Shit. But that wasn't heartbreak. Okay. So you never experienced real heartbreak? Yeah, yeah. No, he's never had it. He's never had it. And that's why he gets Selena Gomez. I know. We have had heartbreak. We've had real heartbreak. Yeah. By the way, I asked out a girl... I asked a girl to fucking spring or... Not prom, but like spring or one of those things. And she denied me. No, thank you. This is real. This feels good. Okay. And then years later...
Hit me up online to come to like a show. I was playing a show in whatever city she lives in now and hit me up online. Hey, we can't wait to see you get at the show. You know, can we get some tickets? And I never responded. And it felt.
So fucking good. Really? To deny her. Oh. It was such good payback. Yeah, one time I was at the San Diego American Comedy Company. Okay. And the hot chicks from school, right? From San Diego. From my high school went. The ones that never even talked to me. Right? And they're sitting there with their husbands, but they now all look like, you know what I mean? Sperm whale. I mean, they've got barnacles on their faces. Right?
Right? There's plankton all over. You know what I mean? It's like they don't look good, right? And they're just killing. You know what I mean? I'm looking at them. It feels so good. God, it feels good. I love it. It feels so good. My friend has the best story of that I've ever heard. So my good friend growing up,
We were all doing this thing. When you were younger, like, you know how, like, everyone's, like, first kiss. Well, you don't know this part. But, no, I'm just saying. You said you didn't kiss when you were 23. No, he kissed. Oh, you kissed. Okay. So, do you remember? What do you mean?
It's unbelievable. It's outrageous. I've never seen it. He's just trying to be relatable. A big time producer comes in here and says fucking, you know what I mean? I've defended you. No, you haven't. Yes, I have. Keep going. We'll let the crowd decide. Do you guys want to order your main course at some point? No, we're going to go to a restaurant. What happened? What would you like? Mail, mail. What do you want?
I like his little mayo. Yeah. So your friend what? Okay. So, you know, when you're experimenting, everyone's like starting to experiment. We're all at one house together. And my friend is about to get the first hand job. All of us. Huge. Nobody's getting a hand job. He's about to get the first one. I'm not going to say his name or her name. Famous person? No.
No, what do you mean I'm 13? This is back home when he was a kid. I'm 13. I don't know. I'm not from LA. I don't know. I'm from Virginia. Oh, your attitude right now, Benny. Okay. I'm sorry. You hang out with the top. I'm sorry to ask that question. I wasn't hanging out when I was 13. Oh, that's right. Okay. Okay. So I'm 13. My friend's about to get a handjob in rural. Is there flyers? How do you know? There's flyers. There's flyers. And he took the little thing that says handjob. Yeah. And so...
He's about to get the handjob. We're all waiting outside the bathroom. They go into the bathroom. Okay. And it's like, there's like rustling. And then there's laughing. The girl runs out and she goes like this.
no and he and he says and he's he's mortified mortified because we were all figuring out we're like in that stage we're about to go through puberty we not we're not sure right like some of some of us had like hair and like our dick was still small she's a girl right so her pink is even smaller than a normal Asian girl no less and he's and he's he's he's he's traumatized she leaves everyone leaves I said
You're going to be fine. Nobody's even going to remember this. We're going to go to school tomorrow. Everything's going to be perfect. He kills himself. He kills himself. We get into school. We get to school. And there's a substitute teacher. And our substitute teachers were like so young. They were like college students. This girl's like 21. And I guess someone had told her the thing. The sub? The sub. And the sub just like, is Mark here? Yeah. That's literally what she did. No. She goes, is Mark.
blank here and he was so embarrassed he even i remember that day she did that yes i remember that day subs are rad we were at home we were at home and he was contemplating changing schools yeah changing schools he should have done it yeah okay genders okay so okay yeah he's so close already i mean fast forward
This man goes through puberty and his cock becomes huge. Love this. Oh, I love this. Huge. Yeah. He's got like a he's got a fucking python in his pants. It's thick. It's huge. How do you know? You know, we all know. How do you know? You know, you know, you know, everyone. Yeah. You know, you know, you know. OK, so he's in college. He's at a party.
Same girl. No, no, no. Perfect. He fucks her, sends her to the hospital. He fucks her. And she's like, wow. And he's like and he and he said it was like the best performance. He's like, usually I'm terrible at sex. He's like, it was the best performance I'd ever done. Yeah. And he said he said as he's leaving the night, she's like she's like like the next day he's he's leaving and he just goes.
As he walks out. That's a movie. This is a movie. That's it. Yeah. Never spoke to her again. It's like that. How's them apples? Yeah. Right? Yeah. That's that scene. Yeah. Isn't that amazing? It's an amazing true wonder story. I've never had a wonder story. Have you ever had a wonder story? You live a wonder story. What are you talking about? Your life is perfect. Yeah. But not like that. Wonderful. I know. We all know the guy. We had a guy in my high school named Kyle. I'm not going to say his last name, but they called him the elephant.
because he had a trunk in high school. He had a cock so big in gym class, you know, like you put on the school-issued gym shorts. And I'm not kidding when I say, because they were short back in the day. His penis, if he didn't put it away, would come out of the bottom of the gym shorts. It was fucking unreal. Here's another thing that I want to tell people right now. I'm glad we're bringing this up. Okay, now just FYI, anyone that sees me at WeSpa, right, don't recognize me. What do you think?
You know what I mean? I'm in this, you're right. You're in a steam room. It's steamy. Are you Bobby Lee? I'm like, they say that to you. Oh yeah. Yeah. And you were all naked. Right. And I always have to go to not here. Not here. You say you're not Bobby Lee here, but you're Bobby Lee outside or just don't. I'm Ken Jeong here. Yeah. You're right. I'm Ken Jeong. And then we'll go outside on Bobby Lee. My point is, is that it's one of those places like when you're eating at a restaurant where it's like, you don't do it here.
If you're on a date or something. Right, but do you think naked in a spa is not a good place to get recognized? Just wait till we're in the locker room. Naked in a spa might be number one place not to get recognized. Bathroom is weird too when I'm like pissing near someone. Oh yeah, that. Yeah, yeah. Where a guy like comes up and hits you on the back. Touching you in the bathroom is insane. I hate that. You know what happened to me the other day? It's happened to me so many times. The guy's just pissing and starts talking to me. And then after he talks to me, he gives me a high five with his...
Dick hand. Not necessary. It's crazy. Don't need to do that. I get picked up. Yeah, he gets lifted. In the back. Like a trophy. No, anywhere. Everywhere. From behind, they're like, hey, I won this or whatever. Why do they pick you up? I'm small and I look like I can be picked up. He's pick-up-able. How tall are you?
5'3", 5'4". How tall am I? You're 5'5". I'm 5'5". Yeah. Thank you, waiter. Yeah. Can I honestly get your drinks? How tall are you? 6'1". Yeah, he's tall. It's good. You're good. That's good height. Well, people always say, a lot of people always say from the internet, they don't know how tall we are because of the desks and stuff. Yeah, yeah. And then they see us together and they're like...
- Oh, then I thought you guys were the same size. - Do you know in real life everyone says, "You're so much shorter than I thought." - Yeah, because they only see you on a screen standing up. - You also look like mom Dylan a little bit. - I do? - You should have done that. - Just a little bit. - Can you sing like Dylan?
Can't anymore. Not like Chalamet did. I haven't seen the movie. Did you see him on SNL? He needs to die. Too talented. The kid is fucking amazing. He's so fucking amazing. He's likable. He's funny. He can sing, play the guitar. I saw him on I like to call me by your name.
That movie. The movie from four years ago? You didn't see the new movie he's in? No, I didn't see it. You didn't see the Dylan movie? I didn't see it yet. Dude, you're a musician. Yes. You're so... I usually don't like those type of biopics. They're usually kind of corny. Okay, I agree. But this one's not like that. This one is not fucking corny. Did you see the Elvis one? No.
Did you see... Elvis one was corny as fuck. Okay, did you see it though? No, I didn't. Yeah, I saw it, but he is right. Did you see Bohemian Rhapsody? That's the one I saw and I was like, oh, I still can... I can... I'm like, I was right. I can't see these again. Because that one was a little corny. Yeah, they're just like... As someone who like... I really love like all documentaries, like Dylan's documentary. Incredible. You're right. And I love... For me, it's just like...
Okay, the type of movies that turn me on and turn me off, like I don't love those super Hollywood biopic things. I don't love action movies. They're not my favorite type of-- - What do you watch? - Nothing. - Okay, I love a movie that's gonna rip my heart out or I love a-- - Amelia Perez.
No, but I also love like Force of Zor, Triangle of Sadness. Force of Zor is so good. Triangle of Sadness is good. Yeah, yeah. I love those type of movies. Yeah, yeah. And I like like... How about horror? I do like... I like some horror. Okay. And I like... You're good. And I really like... What's it called? Because horror is different than action. It's like more... It's like action is like... Like horror, you're like... Horror, you're like, whoa. Like they really did... It's not just like... A really good horror movie is like so beyond... It's a mindfuck. Yeah. You've never seen Avengers before.
No. Oh, you won't? No, I've never seen anything. You know any of the Avengers? No. Name me an Avenger. I've never... I don't even... I don't know. But you gotta know one of them. You gotta know the superheroes. You're a part of pop culture. So name... Just guess an Avenger. What do you mean? Get... Okay, you're... Okay, you're... What's an Avenger? You're Nick Fury, right? You're like Samuel L. Jackson's character. Who the fuck's Nick Fury? He's just in it. You don't have to guess now. Okay. I already just named him, right? Okay. So now...
There's an emergency, right? There's like Mexican aliens coming down. Okay. Right, from the sky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Mexicans from the sky, right? Yeah. And you can hear their spaceship coming from a mile away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a thousand of them in there. Yeah, yeah. And you're saying, who's the actor? You're saying, who's the actor?
No, no, no. You have to call the actual superhero. So who you call it? I'm your sidekick. I work for you. Spider-Man? Is he an Avenger? Yes, yes. Call Spider-Man. Yeah, call Spider-Man. Okay. I've only seen one Spider-Man. I know. Let's go to Avengers. We're back to New Fury. I don't know any Avengers. Just try to guess. Throw it out. Okay. The Hulk.
Yes. So you do know. Yeah, you know. Wait, really? Yes. I just guessed. Are they actually Spider-Man and the Hulk? They're in the Avengers, yeah. Yes. You could name any one of them. You'd probably get it right. Get it right. That's it? That's all you know? Wolverine.
It is Marvel Universe, not an Avenger. I've only seen... Copyright. I've only seen... I think I've only seen one Marvel movie. Which one was it? Spider-Man, then. It's got to be. Oh, is that Marvel? Okay. Then I saw the original Spider-Man. With Tobey Maguire. Yeah, I saw that one. And then, oh, I've seen two. I saw the one, the animated one. The... Okay. Open verse or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that. Okay. And...
I went with someone's kid to that one. Let's clarify that story. So obviously you've never seen any Star Wars or anything like that either then? When I was a kid, I saw Star Wars in school.
Like we had to watch it in school. But that's the only time you saw it. Only time I've ever seen it. That's so fascinating. I've never seen Lost. I've never seen. That's nothing to do with fucking superheroes. No, no. I thought J.J. Abrams. I never saw Glen Gary Glen Ross. No, J.J. Abrams made Lost too. What? J.J. Abrams did make Lost. He did Lost. Yeah, you're right. He made some Star Wars. Okay. Yeah. Oh, okay. And then I've never seen. What's another big one of those movies? All right. So Lord of the Rings. Never seen it.
Wow. Harry Potter. I've never seen that. I like Harry Potter. Okay. I've never seen Game of Thrones. Wow. Not one episode? Just one episode when Ed Sheeran was at my house and he wanted to stream it because he was in the episode. It was the only episode I ever saw. Let's say I'm a girl, right? You break up with Selena, which is going to happen eventually. But my point is that... I'm kidding.
And I'm like, I'm at your house. It's like, what do you want to watch? What would we watch together? Me and you? Yeah, yeah. As guys? No, as I'm a girl. Don't say that with some hot girl. This is mustard. Yeah, mustard. No, Mayo's cousin, I would say. Yeah, yeah. What would you watch? I would say, let's watch Amelia Perez, I Miss My Wife.
She was good in it, I heard. Yeah, she's great. You still have to suck him now? While you watch Amelia Pratt. I can't even get a commercial agent. Yeah, mustard doesn't get a lot of work in this town. And I love, I really love like the, like...
slapstick comedy that's just gonna mine this. Oh, Naked Gun. Yeah, I love that. Airplane. Yeah, I love that. And I also love like, I love like, like, like Early Days of Seth was so good. I loved Superbad, all that shit. All right, right. Love that. And then, and then yeah, otherwise I want to watch like an indie, like my mom took me, when I was a kid, I was watching like, we were going to see like The Squid and the Whale. Like, you know what I mean? It wasn't like, how about this? Have you seen all the way through Sopranos?
Of course. Don't fucking of course me, dude. You said a lot of weird stuff. Okay, okay. My family, like very important shows growing up that we watched as a family, we watched Sopranos, The Wire, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Seinfeld. That's great. Those were our... And my parents both have pretty good tastes in stuff. I'm also obsessed with any mafia movie. So like I'm a... Scorsese. I love Scorsese. I was actually just...
re-watching um i had covid like two months ago and was re-watching so many movies and i'm just like oh i'm just like i forgot like how good cape fear was so oh my god and i was just i i was going through like all my favorite movies and like all like you know like a bronx tale all those old like those movies are so perfect bronx tale so good all of them all of them what's your favorite gangster movie probably either casino or goodfellas
That's everyone's two. Which one though? Casino more. Casino more. I just love these. I always loved these. What do you guys think of Untouchables? It's good. It is good. But it's not. It's not at the level. All right, let's end smoothly because he's got to go. Because the sweetheart's got to go. Okay. Why are you looking at me like that? He's a pro. I don't know what the fuck you're doing, Penny. That's why I'm looking at you. I have an album coming out.
With my better half. We're doing a joint album. Yeah. Clap more for her, not me. Yeah, we are. Yeah, we are. Okay, good. Good, yeah. Don't clap for me. Selena and Benny dropping an album. Yeah. What's it called? Selena and Benny? It's called Selena and Benny. Really? No. Wait, wait, wait. Let's guess the album. Okay, okay. Yeah. Okay, okay. You guys each get three guesses. Okay. That's impossible. What do you mean? Anything's possible. It's possible. All right. Kentucky Lightning. That's impossible.
That's it. That's really good. How did he get it? That's really good. No, it's not Kentucky Lightning. No, it's got to be a duo name. It's her and him. So it's got to be like... Almond and Nutcake. No, no, no, no, no. This is just our... You have two now. Wait. This is just... It's the album title. We're going as separate ends. Yeah, we're doing album cover. It's just the title. Album cover. So I gave two. Yeah, don't give... You give me one. Now you give two. Fontina Cheese. Close. Okay, you do one more. Crush Veneer. Okay. Can I do one more? Yeah.
Isabella, Isabella, Not In This Lifetime. I like that one. That's beautiful. Pretty good, right? Is that yours? Yours is That's Beautiful? Yeah. No, that was gorgeous. Oh, okay. Isabella, Isabella, Not In This Lifetime is pretty good. Your album is going to be called Wondermint. Yeah. What is it?
- It's called, I Said I Love You First. - Change it. - Change it to Isabella, Isabella. - I do think that's better. - Can we change it? I think you should change your album to Shitpants and Gomez. - Yeah, yeah. - Which one? - So when does the album drop? - I think it's already out by the time. - It's out right now. - It's out right now, go check it out on everything. - This is the future.
It's already out. Well, we are living in the future. But is it hard to work with your fiancé or no? He's been doing it for 20 years. Is it? No, no, no, no. But it wasn't romantically before. Well, what is it now? Romantically. No, but it didn't change the work relationship. Well, you guys just hook up mid-session? Yeah, we're just mid-session hookup. No, it's actually better because we can –
I know her so well now. We can say, we can speak so freely to each other and like really, you know, if we're like sitting in bed, I'll be like, oh, actually that thing we did earlier, I thought it'd be better if we did it like this. And then she'll be like, oh, like I either like that or I don't. And we can just talk about it. Some things you might, you might walk on eggshells a little bit more when you're working with artists you don't necessarily know that well. And I think it's so much better. And we've been able to like,
You can say whatever you want. Like you can talk about, there's no rule. Like, it's like, you know how in comedy, like you might say a joke. That's something that you would never say in real life, but it's the art of the joke. That's why you're saying like, it's not how you actually feel about a person, but you're saying it because you think it's funny. Right. And in music, it's the same thing. Like you can say something like, let's say I was talking about like,
someone from my past or she's talking about someone from her past in a song if you can like talk about that way more than like talking about you know what I mean like so it's it's like therapy and it's I found it to be
much easier to work with her than I've worked with anybody else, I think. - Wow. - Go listen to the album. You sold me on it. I gotta tell you, Shitpants, you sold me, bud. - Thanks. - And we love you, and you're welcome back anytime. - Go check my new album, Isabella, Isabella, Shitpants, what is it? - Isabella, Isabella.
I forgot. You forgot? Because I want to say something real, though. Can I say something real to you, Benny? Yeah, you can say something. We didn't know much about you before. Yeah. I really like you, man. You're such a nice guy. Intelligent. I think we have a lot in common. I don't know about that one. No, I think so, too. We're the underdogs. We're the underdogs. And you're winning. And I love it. You're winning. Yeah, so give Benny a round of applause. Thank you for being a bad friend.