Bobby Is Finally Free w/ Yannis Pappas
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Have you played Comedy Works South? I've never done the South Club. Have you played Downtown? Yeah. Why? What? Why? Why? Why has he? Why have you? Why have I? Have you? I haven't. Why? I don't know. You two are best. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Woo!

Or you two or something. We're bad friends. So, Freaky Greaky. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, Freaky Greaky. Yanis Pappas is here with us. Give it up for Yanis Pappas. Where one eye sock lives in the other eye sock. That's right. And they do switcheroos. It is. I am a one-eyed Greek, and I am Yanis Poupas, according to your production. That's right. Now I'm back in kindergarten. Thank you for that. Yanis Poupas. Who wrote that? That's very triggering for me. McCone? McCone. That was really good play on words. Yeah. Well...

Before we get to Giannis, I brought a couple of gifts back from my trips overseas. So I was wandering the streets, Bobby Lee. Oh, my God. And I saw a store. I stumbled on a store. Let me guess. What is it? It's an old, ancient, antique Chinese store that's in the basement. You got me a mogwai. I'm so excited. You know, Giannis, I've always wanted a mogwai.

From France? I stumbled across a store that doesn't exist, a store that no longer is in rotation. Okay. Tower Records. And I walked in and I said, someone's got to- Can we guess? Can we guess? Yeah.

Boston Market. Good guess. Things that are closing. VHS tape. Joanne's. What's that, the fabric store? No, that's still open. I was there this morning. I've been praying for that to close for so many years. Well, God's not listening to you anymore. Yeah, I'm all Michaels, guys. A Bed Bath & Beyond candle. Pretty close. Okay. It's a store that someone on this crew loves very, very much. Oh, shit. Here we go.

There was one Desigual store still remaining in Europe. That's insane. I went in there because Fancy, our buddy Fancy loves Desigual clothes. Yeah. And I walked in and I said, Desigual. I said my face. Desigual. Huh? Desigual. I'll say it how I want to say it, bitch. And then I said, you're going to love this part. I said-

"Is it all women's?" And the girl goes, "Oh yeah." I go, "No men's clothes?" She goes, "We do." And there was a rack in the back with four shirts. Rack in the back, dude. A rack in the back, which is the name of your new life is Rack in the Back. So I got you a Desiual shirt.

And she said, what size is he? I said, well, I should call you because you know the Porg size better than anyone. Yeah, yeah. Well, I watch a lot of Star Wars. Yes. It's triple XL. Yes. I got you a medium. Are you a medium? So come get your gift, you stupid loser. Yeah. I got you a Desidual shirt. In fact, I think you should take your shirt off now and put this shirt on now. And here's the best part. So people can see your Porg body. Here's the best part about it. Why? Okay. He's probably wearing it right now. They make, I'm not kidding when I say this.

They make maybe four blue shirts. That's all they make. Take it out of the packaging and let me see it. It literally looks like the shirt you're wearing now. I said to the woman, I bet you he owns this shirt. Do you own it? It looks like it. Yeah, yeah. They all look the same. Can I ask you a question? Lift it up. There you go. What is it about these shirts that you do like? The design? That is an ugly shirt. I know. I know. I know that. We know that. It's obvious.

So you're welcome. You're welcome. Thank you so much. And did I get something for Bobby? Well, I've gotten you two wands. Did I get you something? At the Renaissance Fair, I picked you out two wands. I know. I hold it dear to my heart. Yeah, there you go. And did I get you something? I'm sure you did. I did. I know you did. Do you know what I got you? Oh, my God. It's something Asian-oriented. It has to be. No, it's actually the coolest gift I think I've gotten you. And I hope you don't have it. It's going to make my heart flutter.

Size nine? This is the only bummer. The highest they had left was eight and a half, but I feel like you could squeeze into it. I could squeeze into eight and a half. All right, can I open it and show you what it is? Now you do. Can I say something now? You know what it is? Because if you have them- I don't have them, but- You know what they are. They're shoes. But what are they? Shoes. Are they shoes? No, they're sandals. Okay. They're Ninja Turtle sandals. Okay. But can I be completely honest with you if I like them or not? Yes. Yes.

Because I'm brutal when it comes to that. I know. And honest. But can you tell by the box what they are? They're Adidas shoes. Thank you. Okay. But do you know what they are? They're probably slips, like sandals. Slides? Slides, yeah. No. Okay. Oh, hello. Do you know what they are? No. Go ahead. Hello. Hello.

They are one of a kind custom Arsenal Adidas. Oh my God. How sick are those shoes? These are sick shoes. You like them, don't you? I do love them. I knew you would. Yeah. Do they have the Arsenal symbol on the side?

On the back. On the back. On the back. Oh, my God. You know what? That's being mindful. That's thoughtful. That's being thoughtful. That's thoughtful. And that's being a friend. That is a friend. Yeah, yeah. Unlike you when you came to town and you booked a whiskey ginger and a bad friends but not a tiger belt. That's right. So unlike that. That's right. This is the opposite of what you do. That's right. It's called a tariff. Tariff.

Oh, right. I did tariff you 40%. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I will lower the tariff. I'm doing only American. Okay, sure. But if I lower the tariff, will you do mine eventually? If you lower the tariff, I will. All right, okay. Tariff war right now. 10%, 10%. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. So give me a rating on the shoes. You like them.

Did they meet your standards? These meet my standards in different ways. Okay. Wow. Wow. And, you know, it's sexual. You know what I mean? So that's number one. Yeah. I'm more attracted to you by this gift. Thank you. Right? Number two...

I have some downsides to it, too. Go ahead. Okay, but let's go to the positive. Do you own those shoes already? No. Awesome. I don't own any Arsenal FC shoes. You do now. I have pants. I have shirts, scarves, et cetera, et cetera. And this is slick. What's so funny? It's slick. It's aerodynamic. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Clean. Clean. Yeah, very clean. Clean. Yeah.

I would be too afraid to wear them. Why? Because they're so nice. Well, they're one of a kind. They're made for running. This guy's taking shots at you. Wow. Thank you so much, my friend. I love you. Thank you. Thank you. No, thank you. Thank you for being here. And thank you. Does the display, are you really in awe of them or is that like an excuse that you don't like them? And is that why you're not going to wear them?

I'm just trying to figure out why you wouldn't wear those. No, you're trying to drum up some shit. Yeah, yeah. I'm curious. You're trying to drum up some shit. And since this shit is drummed up, may I waddle in it? Go ahead. Okay.

I think stylishly it's not my style. Whoa, I knew it. I knew it. Yeah, yeah. You didn't like him. No, I do like him. What a piece of shit. No, no, no. I do like him. He used a passport to get those shoes. But here's the thing. You could go to arsenal.com and buy the same shoes. Have you? And get delivered in three days. He was with his family and he thought about you. I could probably get a nine as well.

You got the wrong size. Yeah, yeah. Those are very nice. Yeah, they are. Can I see the other styles, please? They're in blue. Wait a second. You only spent $79 on them? $80. The red ones are cool. Those red ones. Wow. Yeah. Way more expensive. Yeah. I think that's... $600. Yeah. That's more my thing.

That's not my thing. But I don't do $80 on my feet. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. You picked up on that, right? The whole display thing was a whole... I knew. Yeah, yeah. He was fucking trying to... No, but it's the sentiment and the thought that counts. Thank you. Yeah. And I will get you something similar. Yeah.

Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. Like a Tiger Woods. You know what I mean? Are you upset? I'd be upset. I'd be like turned off. Do they have gloves? That's a fucking dick move. I've lived in this space for quite a while. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you why, guy. Freaky, freaky. It's because we have an honest relationship. That's right. And we're not about lies. We tell each other how we feel. How we feel. And I appreciate that. Yeah. I'm going to display them accordingly.

In my closet. Underneath all the other shoes that I have. That's right. Yeah. And in 20 years time, I'll dig them back up and go, oh, these are in style now. Right. Right. Right. Now I'll put them on. I'll be 70. 73. I do think you'll wear them. Yeah. My money's on you'll wear them. I'll wear them in Ireland.

When we do the golf thing. You mean in London? No, when we go to Ireland, we're going to a golf thing afterwards. That's right. Yeah, I'll wear them at the golf thing. But this would make more sense in London. That's true. Yeah. No one's going to go, hey, bloke, are those Arsenal shoes? Wait, who is that? What was that? That's a Greek accent? Hello, bloke. Oh, that's better. Yeah. Are those Arsenal shoes? That's good. No one's going to go that, say that. Right. Yeah. You're right. Anyway, um...

Your legs are exposed. Generally, I don't like it. But today, I really appreciate your legs because they're very unlike the rest of your body. They're very tan and they're very beautiful. And athletic. Yeah, they are. They are really good legs. Yeah. Yeah. He's always had nice tan legs. I know. That says a lot about a guy. Yeah. And you're wide.

Like in a muscular way. I'm fat again. No. How much do you weigh now? I'm back to 205. I was down to 193. Wow. But I'm back to 205. You look great. Thank you, man. Love a 205. You've always looked great. You look the same, dude. It's true what they say. You just don't age. Interesting. Yeah, you look the same. I lost 30 pounds. You did? Ozempic. Wagovi. I thought we were honest in here. So you didn't notice that I lost 30 pounds? No. No.

I haven't got a chance to see you stand up because you were outside squatting and now. Yeah, you have. You look great. Yeah. You look great. Let me say something to you, okay? Freaky, freaky. Let me say something to you. Be real and be honest. We don't fuck around like this. So let me say something right now, freaky, okay? Be honest. I'm not going to get offended. You did not notice that I lost weight. I would take a picture of you.

Put it in my closet under all the other pictures of people who are underwhelming. Forget about it for 20 years and then take it out when slightly chubby Asian guys are back in style. Okay. I thought we were in the honest tree. Okay. So you really believe that?

I believe you look better. Okay. You look better. Okay. Yeah. Wait until I get back from Hawaii. Just you wait. I'm going to get a tan. What was the phrase he used in Australia all the time? You'll see. You'll see. You'll see. Okay. Yeah. And you shall see. And you will reap. How long has it been now since the you'll see I'm going to get jacked thing? November. November. So you've got some time still. Exactly. But time is a ticking. I know, but. And you know what's got to happen? Whoa. You look like you gave birth and then it. No.

My wife's belly. You know, it was like a little loose. I'm sorry. It was just moving a lot. I didn't expect it to move. But I'm no better. I'm no better. So here we go. It moves. Yours moves more. Mine does move more. Yeah, it's a deeper ocean. But mine looks like I'm consistently fat. Yours looks like you're supposed to be fat.

Dude, you're making me mad so much today, dude. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You really triggered me. Like, you think he needs to get the loose skin surgery to, like, remove that? Yeah, tighten it. You think I have access skin? It just, it looked a little loose. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay, like that. Yeah, it's a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's got abs. No, you look great. You know I'm joking. You look great. I don't think you believe that. No, I do believe it. Yeah. I do believe it. Next time you see me, dude, Ronnie Chang, dude. You won't even know the difference. You're going to get ripped like that? He's ripped? Well, he's in shape. He is in shape. He's in shape, dude. You'll see. We shall see. That's been the motto of my life. Back in the day, dude, they were like, you're never going to make it as a comedian. You'll see.

Okay. Well, the comedian I could get because you're funny, but getting ripped, I mean, it's like. You're making me so mad. Is it possible? I went to the Planet Fitness a month ago, and you don't know. I went to Planet Fitness. I walked in, right, and I go, hey, and they go, you got to go online, and you got to give us your bank records to join. And I'm like, I have a credit card. We don't do it that way. So that's why I didn't join Planet Fitness. That's why. Yeah. I went in there.

Right. I don't know. I've seen you now. We've been here 20 minutes and all you've been doing is sucking on an electronic cigarette. So it doesn't look like you're making much of an effort. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. I will say. Duly noted. Duly noted. And touche. Touche. Okay, because you're the first guy I come to, dude. Wow. Right? When I get my revenge. I'd like to see it. Who's the second guy?

Ooh, McCone. Yeah. He's never on my side. He was a doubter. Yeah, he's a doubter. Let me see your new cigarette. Show off your new cigarette machine. Oh, I saw, I saw. The kid's got a new cigarette machine on his person now. This is from Canada. So I got this. Now you smoke. Now you can smoke without the smoke. Yes. And then you open this little module like that. And then, right? You stick it. It heats the cigarette. It doesn't, you know, there's no smoke, like actual fire. No fire. No fire. Just heat. Just heat. Heat induction. Heat induction.

Let me say something, you guys. I had the worst week of my life last week. Number one, Monday, I wake up, I have a little sore throat. Then that night, Monday night, I fly to Toronto, Canada. And now I'm fully sick. Oh, thanks for coming. No, that was last week. That was last week. Okay. Okay. I had the shivers. All right. And then I land, I go to wardrobe for this film, a very good film. It's called Karate Ghost. Let me guess. Karate Ghost.

You play the ghost? No. No, I don't. I play a sensei. Wax one, wax all. Paint the defensive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Karate ghost. Yeah. Is it based on a book, a novel? Yes. Yeah? Yes, yes.

New York Times bestseller. So that's not it. So you're playing Karate Ghost. No, I'm not. I play a sensei. Okay. And Jim Belushi plays the mayor of a town. Oh, wow. Yeah. And I did it because Jim was in it. Right. Because we're old, not old friends, but friends. Okay. But I black out in my hotel that day off. I didn't leave. I just was, and then I literally the next couple of days, I don't even remember shooting.

You were that? I was in every, you know, because they're like, you know, we're going to put all your scenes in two days. Right? So you're, you know, five o'clock call, wrap at nine. Right? And you're in every fucking scene. I don't fucking remember it. And then from there, I go to the Comedy Works in Denver and they booked me in the wrong club.

You were downtown. You were not down. You're in the South one. Yes. Have you played comedy? Comedy works South. I've never done the South club. Have you planned downtown? Yeah. Why? What? Why? It's my favorite. One of my favorite clubs. Why? Why has he? Why have you? Why have I? Have you? I haven't. Why? I don't know. You're not good. What's that? That's you on the set of karate. Go sick. Yeah. Look how sick I am. Do I look like fucking Yoda there? What the fuck?

Don't I look Yoda? And you don't remember any of this? I don't remember any of it. Is that Jim in front of you? Yeah. Right. And I'm like, I'm going like... Now, does he own the dojo? What does he do in this movie? He's the mayor of the town. Right. Right. He's the mayor of Karate Ghost Town? Yeah.

Dude, at least you're getting work. Not only that. Who plays the ghost? Some kid. What the fuck, dude? So you got sick. And then I'm in this, which is a great club, Comedy South 2. It's just not the same. Never done it, yeah. And then my feature, Ramsey. Badawi. Badawi. Yeah. He rips so hard. I'd never seen him rip, right? And I'm deathly ill, right? And I'm watching him in the green room rip.

literally for the first time, I'm going, how am I going to do this? Like, it was the first time where I was mad. Yeah. You mean that this guy is good? You wanted him to be bad? I wanted him to, you know what I mean? Like, sometimes I'll go, no,

You know what I mean? You try to chain them. Yeah. Right? No crowd work. Take it easy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're bombing, just keep bombing. Yeah. You know what I mean? Settle into the bomb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember, they're not here to see you. Exactly. Right. But this weekend is one of those weekends where I know where people went up to Ramsey and goes, you're better than the headliner. No. Yeah, for sure. No, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Dude, you're better than Bobby. What the fuck? You know what I mean? And I knew that in my mind. And then the fourth show...

Oh my God, I struggled. I was drowning. In sweat? No, pee. What the fuck are you talking about? Well, you said you were sick. I thought you were sick. Yeah, yeah. No, I was drowning in sweat. Oh. Like, you know how it just splits open and you're just drenched, right? And then you're losing the room. But how's the new hour coming along? Not great. Not great at all. I'm trying to do an extension, man. Wait, what do you mean? I want to do it later. Bobby. Yeah, yeah. It's been 30 years. What?

I know. You've extended. I need to know. You've overextended. Is this your first special? Yes. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just haven't put one out. Yeah. Yeah. No, he's taped 10 of them. He's just never released them. Yeah. Never released them. Yeah. They're sitting in a vault. Yeah. It's the same hour over and over again, but I did tape it 10 times. Momento. But anyway, and now I'm here and wow, what a week.

So it was bad. Yeah, but you know what? It doesn't sound that bad. You had a little sniffles. Yeah, a little sniffles. But you have to understand every moment I'm like, how am I going to do this? I can't fucking, I don't want to do this. You know what I mean? Stand up. Can't barely talk. What? Tell the people in Gaza how bad your week was. Yeah. You had a cold? You know, Afghanistan and India are still at war. You couldn't remember some of the movie you were booked in?

Awful week. Tough week? Yeah, it was a tough week. Some guy listened to the podcast. He's on his way to work a fucking triple. Yeah. Some guy's sitting in a fucking truck right now, driving for nine hours, but Bobby couldn't remember half the scene with Jim Belushi. Tough. Tough. Tough. God willing. You've gotten this second wave of success in your life has really started to go to your head.

Am I wrong? Am I right? Am I wrong? Am I right? This second wave of success has gone to your head. No, I haven't. For the first time in my life, in our friendship, you didn't return my call four times. That's right. I was sick. No, you weren't. Yes, I was. No, you weren't. Yeah, I can tell you when you did. No, you weren't. I got a new phone, by the way. You were hanging out. You were hanging out. What is that, an Android? No, it's an iPhone, but I didn't change it for 10 years.

Anyway, no, it hasn't. And can I just say another spiritual thing that happened the other day? It's gone to your head. Yesterday. Go. Something happened yesterday that made me cry. And I'm afraid that if I share it, it's going to come out cheesy. Come on. It made me feel just the weight lifted from my shoulders and I became somebody else.

And I'm going to share it. And I know that because I've never said this out loud. And when I say it, I'm going to get fucking annihilated. No. From all sides. No, no, no. All right. So just hear me out if I may. Okay. I need gas in my motor vehicle, my Hyundai. Okay. It's blinking. The gas light. Yes. It's blinking. Has been blinking. Go get gas. I go to Shell. Yeah.

I pump, I go, you know what? I deserve a little, not just a sugar-free Red Bull, but one of those springtime flavors. You know what I mean? Like passion mango or whatever. You do. I did do. I did do. You did do. I did do. Good. Okay. So I go in there and there's like an Eastern European girl, maybe 23, 24. She got some tattoos. She looked miserable. Right. Right. And she barely spoke English. Right. Right.

And I go, hey, can I get this springtime, you know what I mean, sugar-free Red Bull, please? You know what I mean? And she's kind of, you know, frowning. She's Eastern European. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how they look. That's their... That's how they look. And then she looks up at me and she does a little smirk. And she goes, what do you do for a living? And I go, I just podcast and stuff. She goes, I don't know what that is. Is that radio or... No, it's online. And then she go... The smirk goes away and she just starts ringing me up.

And about 10 seconds later, I go, why do you ask? And she says, you look free. And a tear went down my fucking face. But this Red Bull is not. So 1342. I knew it. Very good. No, come on. Very fast.

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You look free. Yeah. And why do you think that is? Well, I looked a little disheveled, but I was kind of singing coming in. You know what I mean? I made it to the show, right? Do, do, do, do, do the gas and I'm ready to go. And I go in there, you know what I mean? I'm looking at the, you know, bobbing my head. You know how I do. Yeah. Yeah. And I, you know, kind of do this to the, in the front. Right. Hand of the thing, right? But I also look like, you know, tattered shirt.

You know what I mean? Kind of like... Free. Free. Yeah. Very free. My hair was in disshambles, right? And I had a happy disposition about myself. I know. I want to be you when I grow up. Yeah, yeah. And it just reminded me of like, yeah, I mean, we are so lucky. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay, come on. No, no. It's a moment. No, bring out your guns. Come on. Everybody, come on. I'm against the wall. Go ahead. You didn't notice the chains? Yeah.

He was trying to give you a hint to help her. She was going, you look free. Wink, wink. Get me out of here. There was a guy right behind her with a gun. Oh. But you're so self-absorbed. You didn't notice that she was crying for help. You were just like, thank you. Thank you. I am free. I am free. But really, she was fucking winking like this, but you just couldn't tell because you were so wrapped up in your own shit. She was being trafficked. Yeah, she's a trafficked Eastern European girl.

Human trafficking is a serious issue in Eastern Europe with varying levels of prevalence here in the United States. Yeah. You could have saved that. Oh, yeah. They captured it and went, oh, you're going to work at the Shell? That's what they do. No, they don't. Not at the Shell. That's what... Oh, no. That's right. It's at Exxon. It's the other one. Yeah.

I'm telling you, dude, you are free and you always have been. You don't have the burdens of responsibility at all. And I'm grateful for what I have. And the comment you made earlier is wrong. What was the comment? That this next level of success that I have, I'm, come on. It's gone to your head. It hasn't gone to my head. Dude, when you were talking before, I thought I was listening to Mariah Carey. Okay, Miss Carey, we'll bring you a Thai latte or whatever. I mean, you were complaining about-

first world problems. That's what he does. Okay, so let's ship because you're our guest. Yeah. In the last 10 minutes about my bullshit and my week and whatnot. And I'm sorry for sharing that information. No. It's a personal human experience that I had that I should have kept to myself. No, I'm glad you shared it. All right. So, you know, what are you up to, Giannis? The exciting stuff that's going on in your life. I got a special out that's on YouTube right now.

Thank you very much. It's called Property Owner. History Hyenas is back together. Yay! That's big. Yeah, yeah. Me and my wife are still together. That's great. Nobody cares. Yeah. That part, nobody cares. EMDR? EMDR? Yes, because of the trauma. Yeah. My daughters are good. Life is good. Life is good. He feels free. Yeah. Are you free?

I'm free. Yeah, yeah. How about you? Do you feel free? No. Tell me the chains. Talk about the chains. Go ahead. If I'm a chain dude, fuck off. No, you're a big link in the chain. Yeah, no, I'm not free at all. I'm actually the most bridled I've ever been. What does bridled mean? I learned from you.

It's the opposite of unbridled. That's right. What does unbridled mean? Unbridled means you're free. Okay. So you're chained. I am. Yeah. And give me some of the chains. Can you explain? It is you. Okay. Yeah. Because I thought it might be the world traveling and golfing with celebrities. No. Is that a chain? It's you. It's you.

You and Timberlake and all those guys. Is that it? I feel like that's a chain. What about you, Giannis? That could be a chain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a tough chain. Champagne, golf course. You know what I mean? I don't drink champagne. Outrageous success can be tough. Yeah, outrageous success. I see. Okay. Can be tough. So that's a chain for sure. What else is a chain? Married to a beautiful woman? What a chain. Carrying the weight of all the responsibility of all the stuff that we have to do. Oh, really? Oh, really? Yep. Yeah. All the responsibilities. Okay.

What are they? This show. Okay. The animated show. Yeah. The game show. Yeah. The tour. Just literally everything that we do here. Right. Right. This entire operation. Sony show. Yeah. It's just this literal entire operation. During Apocalypse Now, in filming, they're all prepped. You were in that? No, I wasn't. I'm giving you an alert. Oh, okay. Yeah, I played. They CG'd, I'm all the Vietnamese. Okay.

They CGI'd me back then. You know what I mean? They just did it a thousand times. Okay, so, yeah, I'm not in it. You sure? Yeah, I'm in platoon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so, you know, Apocalypse Now, right? They're prepped, script's ready, right? They, you know what I mean? Camera, lights, all of it, right? They're in production, now they're shooting. And then one day Brando shows up. He had nothing to do with it, but his presence...

He thinks he's Brando. Wow. He just called himself Brando. You think Brando. You were Brando in the analogy. He's Brando. No, I'm not. Yeah. I'm the fucking boom operator. You think Brando. He's Brando. You think Brando. He's Dennis Hopper. You think Brando would ever do karate ghosts? Ow. Ow.

You're right. Is that a Brando movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're right. You're right. Okay. Bobby is very, very funny. He's very funny. He is. Okay, so. You are very funny. You guys are two very funny people. He is by far the funniest person I've ever known. Well, I'll take some of the slack. What do you need me to do, pal? Buddy, the ship is already gone. But I have a little boat. Let me tell you something. Who's going to drive it?

I've driven boats before, dude. I don't think so. I haven't. But I can figure it out. Okay. And I have the in the back. What is it called? A canoe. A canoe? Yeah.

A motorized canoe. A gigantic engine, a little canoe. Oh. And I have my bottles of water. I have this. I have my iPad for Wi-Fi, so I can watch Netflix shows and stuff. Got it. And I'm common. Good. So I caught up to the machine, the boat. You got us? Yeah, I'm there. Okay. What do I do, Andrew? Anything.

So he's like Dennis Rodman, right? He shows up and you... That's a better analogy. Yeah, like Dennis Rodman. And you're Jordan. Hello. You're carrying the weight of the Bulls. I'm a little bit more Pippen. Who's Rodman? I mean, I'm Rodman. Who's Michael? Who's Jordan? Yeah. In this scenario. None of us. Okay. That's why this thing isn't as successful as it should be. We're missing a Jordan. We need Amy Poehler. We need a Poehler. Okay.

We need Amy Poehler. We do. Or Tina Fey. Tina Fey, yeah. One of the two. They have a podcast now. I know. And it's- Killing it. Successful right off the bat. Right off the bat. As it would be, as it should be. And it should be, and they should be allowed to. Yeah. Why wouldn't they be allowed to? I'm just saying we live in a free society. You're saying it doesn't infringe on any of our comedic space. Yeah, it doesn't. No, it's good. Oh, I thought you meant because they're women. Yeah. No, no, no, no. And that's right now-

uncalled for that you would even say something like that. And that right there offends me more than anything. He's got two daughters. He's pro-women. He's pro-woman. I'm pro-pro too. He's pro-woman. I'm pro-women working. Ask me some pro-woman stuff and I'll tell you if I'm pro-woman or not. Okay. Do you think women's basketball... Caitlin Clark. Lover. Okay, give me... Reinvented the WNBA. Yeah.

Okay. 20 points last game. That's right. Angel Reese destroyed her. No. Flagrant flower. Flagrant flower. Yeah. Yeah. But Caitlin Clark did the fragrant flower. Exactly. Yeah. He was going to ask you if you think they should be paid the same.

As the men. Well, I think Caitlin Clark made a $28 million deal with Nike a year ago. I think that helps. Pretty good deal. That's a pretty good deal. Yeah. And I think she's going to make more as time goes on. Yeah. What would be your suggestion as a lover of women and such a feminist to make the league more successful? Yeah. What would be some great ideas to encourage women? Change the outfits. Right. Right. They got to dress sexier, right? No, that's not what I said. That's fucking crazy.

- That's crazy. - Come on. - You'd even have jumped to that. More clothes. - Well, you want them to all dress dykey? - Yes, dude, more clothes, turtlenecks. - I think they should all wear business suits. - Yeah, yeah, strap their breasts to their chest, right? - Right. - Yeah, and just, you know. - So you're controlling their bodies? - No, I'm not controlling their bodies, I'm just saying so that we don't sexualize the league. - But we're the ones watching, like women aren't watching. - Yeah, you have an imagination, right? - Yeah. - Use it. - Okay.

But I think if they dress... Give me another... You know what I always imagine when I'm watching the WNBA? What? I imagine I'm watching the NBA. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, very good. That's my imagination. Yeah, that's my imagination too. Give me another thing about the WNBA. Okay, name three teams. Name one team. Yeah. Indiana Fever. Wow, that's Caitlin Clark's team. That's good. I'm a Caitlin Clark fan. Name another one. Um...

Chicago Sky. Wow. That's right. How about the city that we live in? LA, dude. Yeah, what are they called? Ponds. LA Ponds. That's insane. We have the Lakers, we have the Ponders. He got three out of three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three out of three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The LA Ponds. Ponders. Oh, they're thinking a lot. No, like Lakers, but Ponders. Oh, because they're just a little small. It's a play on words. I get it. I get you play on words. Do you really know what the team is here? No.

You read one article about the WNBA and Angel Reese and Caitlin Clark, and you know those things, and that's it. No, because I— I know how you consume media and information. Here's the thing is that I know the rivalry between Angel and Caitlin— Is made by the media. Yeah, made by the media, right? And then I went on a back—I followed Caitlin from high school—

to college, to where she is now. She was number one pick in the draft. You know what I mean? And all these little information. And I, you know, okay, sure. So you basically... No, no, no. What I'm saying is that a lot of times when you're not interested in something and then something makes you...

The reason why I like Arsenal FC is because years ago I saw Thierry Henry playing for France 25 years ago or whatever, right? And I got hooked on Arsenal because he was my gateway into the fucking sport. Right. All right? So sometimes I don't feel bad about that. You shouldn't feel bad about it, but you know everything we know because it's big news about her.

Yeah, and I want to know more as time goes on because I'm a fan and I'm interested now. Now, do you know what high school Angel Reese went to? No, I did not, no. So you only paid attention to the white? I know what you're going to turn this into. You're going to turn this into a race thing. I didn't. Yeah, yeah, that's what I think you were doing. And I love black people. Prove it. What's up? Right? Yeah. Just in those two words, you get it. I get it. What is that? That's Angel Reese's new McDonald's sponsorship? Yeah. What's the meal? Don't.

Yeah, tell me. Don't. Yeah, yeah. Turn that off. Take the screen off and we're going to guess what the McDonald's meal is. What do you think? How about this? We all pick one. Okay. Go ahead. Y'all ask me first. I would say it's a fried...

Spicy fried chicken. Oh my God. What? Yeah. That's a sandwich. Yeah. Spicy fried chicken. Yeah. Um, pork rinds. Right. Right. On it. Yeah. And, um, okay, that's it. Okay. Now it's the meal. No, because we have to all participate. Oh, but I'm going to finish and, uh, a grape drink. Oh,

What? It's a drink. Yeah, yeah, go ahead. It's a drink. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's just a burger and fries. Yeah, yeah. Me too. That's how I see it. Burger and fries. What would be the point? What would be the point of that? It's got to be special. I didn't see your perspective. It's just a regular American citizen. It's just an American citizen. Yeah, but it's got to have some flair to it. It's interesting that it's spicy. It's weird that you said that. Spicy fried. Spicy fried chicken. That's interesting. Yeah. What is the meal? No, the meal is a fried chicken sandwich, and then it comes with hot sauce in a purse. I got to be honest with you.

And a grape drink. It is a barbecue bacon burger, but it does come with an orange high C. Wow, you're very close. I was fucking close! Is there fried okra? No.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You got to have them fried over. The McDonald's Angel Reese Special. Get a side of grits with your order today. Well, they did. Oh, that was you? Who just said that? He did. He's so good. Fuck that. I thought that was the fucking commercial. I know, right? Do it again. I was teasing you. I can do it too. Go. You go first. Holy shit. What's Caitlin Clark's meal?

It's got to be Chick-fil-A. Oh, I know. It's got to be a Chick-fil-A. It's closed on Sundays. Lean beef. Right. Yeah, it's lean beef. It's like 64. Vegan cheese. Right. Right. Right. The bread is- Sourdough? Not sourdough. It doesn't have the wheat thing in it. Dave's bread? Gluten-free. Gluten-free bread. Yeah. Sorry. Mine laps. That's okay. Okay. There's no fries.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Brussels sprouts. Yes. Brussels sprouts and a sugar-free lemonade, maybe. Right. Yeah. What do you think? I'm just not in on this fucking Brussels sprouts, by the way. I'm all in on Brussels sprouts. I'm all in, and that's where our common ground is, my friend. They're dog shit. Go to Katana.

Next to the comedy store. The Japanese joint? Yes. And they have this fried Brussels sprout chips. Dude, you could fry your toes, I would eat them. Fried doesn't count.

Give me Brussels sprouts. They try to cook them a million ways. They're not good. They're shit. They're shit. They're having a real glow up like cauliflower. I know. And I don't like it. Yeah. Yeah. Like cauliflower. I'm all for it. I'm all for it. I'm all for it. This cauliflower mash. They're trying to push around to people. Get fucked. Give me mashed potatoes. How about Buffalo cauliflower though? It's nice. So good. Yeah, it's really good. It's fine. So a couple of weeks ago, I found out that Andrew is now black. You can say it.

yeah cut to commercial how do you feel about this new gingers are viral trend going on i feel like it's justice uh it's what we've known yes um i mean look bill burr is a redhead his wife is black my wife is black yeah uh okay okay that's offensive that you laugh at that you know his wife is black right

I met his wife. Yeah. Is she light skinned? Oh my God. That is fucking out of bounds. That's insane. She's wearing a Korean mask all the time. Those like facial masks. She wears those to get ready. Yeah, to get ready. Yeah. But we know redheads are black and we've always been black and people know that. And our rhythm is different. Our vibe is different. White people don't view us as whites.

Black people see us as other and they enjoy that. Amen. And so now this show is truly biracial. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Didn't have to DEI it. We did it organically. Yeah, we did. There is one white guy in this room right now.

Exactly. Just me. Well, no, McCone. McCone. Yeah, look at him. Well, I mean in this room. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. They're not allowed in this room. Right. How do you feel about knowing that I was black? You texted me. You got excited. I started calling around other comics to maybe start a new podcast. Yeah.

Yeah, I was like, I can't. The irony of me being black, yet I'm the one who's on time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On this show. Yeah, interesting. Interesting. But no, when I found out that you were black, because I love James Baldwin.

Right. Yeah. And his literary works. Right. And his essays. Yeah. And so, you know, I went back, read some of those essays. And then I also visited some places. You did? Yeah. I went to Rosa Parks' funeral. She was a redhead. She was, definitely. Where was that at? What? Where was her funeral? Well, they've moved it several times. But currently it's in North Carolina. Got it. Yeah, yeah. And I also... What's so funny? Yeah.

That's exactly where it is. Yeah. And then I saw Hamilton.

Yes. Yeah, yeah. When I found out, dude, I saw Hamilton 20 times in a row. Wow. Yeah. And I still don't understand it. Right. Yeah, yeah. But I'll have to read up on it. Maybe get some footnotes or whatever on Hamilton. I'm going to BBQs to celebrate right after. Exactly. Exactly. I'm going to get a greasy little barbecue sandwich. Okay. Yeah, yeah. No, no, good. Another thing that I brought back my Mr. T, my

My Mr. T merch. You did? I used to collect them, yeah. They're in a storage bin. Yeah, so. Wow. I pity the fool, you know. I pity the fool as well. Yeah, so. I've always pitied the fool. I've been saying that a lot lately. Yeah. I pity the fool, you know what I mean? And because of you. An homage to you. Thank you. Yeah, I also say hi to black people in the spa. I never used to. You never used to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I go, hello there, you know. You say hi. My podcast co-host is black. Yeah, he's also. He's black.

African American. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you feel about it, Yannis? I feel great. I mean, I came in and I read the article and I smelled cocoa butter when I got in here. Yes, I do. It was so beautiful. It all made sense. The fresh smell of cocoa butter, oh, in the morning. Cocoa butter is the smell of black friendship. Yeah. In Apocalypse, that should be the line, you know what I mean? Oh, I love the smell of cocoa butter in the morning. Yeah.

Rocket money. You know how much money I've saved on rocket money, my friend? It's an absurd amount of subscriptions. Hundreds, thousands of dollars because I have so many subscriptions on my stupid phone. No. I know. And I don't know what's beginning bled. Yeah. Apps that I don't use anymore. But? But then when rocket money, right? Now I can see it all. That's right. I can get rid of it.

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And then Lawrence Fishburne is there. Yeah, yeah. A movie we called Apocalypse a little bit later. Yeah, so yes. But he's so white, I think even if he had a black wife and they had a baby, I don't think it would darken the baby at all. No, my whiteness would overthrow it. What a beautiful thing you have. Yeah. Thanks, man. Yeah, I'm super happy about it. There's worse things to be born. Than redhead? Yeah. Indian? Indian.

Yeah. Jesus Christ. You didn't even think about it, did you? This is what happens. Carlos almost dies, and so now he thinks he's invincible. He's the Michael Jordan. He is. He's the Michael Jordan of this team. Same competitive nature. Bald. Bald. How are you doing? Carlos was throwing up blood, and we had to take him to the hospital. I didn't feel good on the way here, but I'm better now. I was getting nauseous. Maybe you should get sober.

That has nothing to do with it, Bob. It might. It might. It might. What are you up to now? Like drug-wise? The usual cocktail. Of what? Weed and pills. Yeah. And some drinking.

Bob, be cool. Isn't that a guy that is drinking? That response was weird, right? I'm not drinking. I'm not going out. Have you been drinking? No. Have you had a drink? No. I haven't been going out on dates or anything. On your father's life? Yeah. On your mother's life? On your mother's life.

He's drinking. No. Yeah, boss. You're drinking. Why would you want to kill your mother, dude? That's insane. No, dude. I'm not drinking. Okay, okay. Just the usual drugs. Yeah. Xanax? Of course. Okay. Why can't we get off of this stuff? I mean, there's a new article that says America has a Xanax problem. Oh, shit. And you're contributing? No, I'm the victim here. The doctors keep giving it to me. Oh, it's a victim thing. Yeah, they got me hooked. But I'm happy to be hooked on it.

But it would be terrible to be born in India. Why do you say that? MJ, what's up, dude? That was a stray. Black people always say like, oh, like. What do black people always say? Like POV, you're a baby in India and it's like someone crying or something. That black people always say that? Yeah, I assume all memes are made by black people.

Black Twitter, is that what you're referring to? Like Black IG, TikTok, just the hood in general. If I was born in India, I would want to be a Bollywood kind. Yeah. Light skin. Bollywood is the real Hollywood. At least they're still working. They're still up and running. How many movies is Bollywood making a year? They do like 3,000 a year. It's amazing.

God, we should get into Bollywood. I want to be into it. Because it's either that or you keep doing Karate Ghost. Come on, dude. Stop bringing up Karate Ghost. You brought it up.

A thousand films a year. Yeah, they thousand. Oh my God. Rank them out. Just karate ghost after karate ghost after karate ghost. Yeah. Fucking. The food is great. Food is great. And actually, they're having a real glow up. They're kind of like the cauliflower of people. They're doing great. Exactly. Well, the food is great here. Right. When you see it made on the street there, it scares the shit out of you. I would go a higher end. But my point is that when I was in South Africa-

After the shows, we'd go to this one Indian restaurant. It was the greatest food I've ever had in my life. It was so good. But it's Americanized. In South Africa? No. Yeah, because there's no chicken tikka masala there. Right. That's our thing. They made that. Oh, wow. Like, you ever notice when you walk into an Indian restaurant, the waiter just goes to the chef, tikka masala. They just know. They know what we like. Yeah, I never get that. No? I get, like, a curry. But that's, yeah. And I get a garlic naan. Oh.

Some of the balsami rice. Oh, I love it. Come on, guy. Come on, guy. I do chicken tikka every time. Do you really? Yeah. Really? Garlic naan, chicken tikka, saag, and I'm good. Saag paneer? Yeah, saag paneer. You ever get a mango lassi? Is that the drink? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's nice. So good. Nice. Yogurt and mango. Yeah. I love Indian food. Me too, man. Big, big fan. Big fan. You know what I'm not into? Yeah. I'm out on for a long time. No more Chinese food.

Why not? I thought you were black, dude. Blacks love Chinese. We used to. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we moved on. Why is that? I got to tell you, every time I have Chinese food now, I'm just bummed. Now, have you ever hooked up with an Indian woman? Pakistani, but they smell the same.

- Well, may I ask? - Yeah. - You know, I'm inquisitive. - Okay, yeah. - May I ask, what could this smell is, if you could describe it? - Have you ever been in a cab in New York City? I mean, they have different religions and they hate each other, and it's sad because they smell the same. - Is that your bonding? That's how you're trying to mend the problem? - Yeah, it's just like, what are you guys doing? You're the same! - You're the same, like, you're the same. - Yeah, how about you, have you? - An Indian woman? - Yeah. - No. Asian, but I guess,

Asian. No. And India is Asia. So no Indian. You've never hooked up with an Indian girl. I have. Really? Nope. I wanted to feel like I'm global and open in that way. You're almost exclusively whites and Asians or half Asian, half white. And Mexicans. A lot of Mexicans. Really? Oh yeah. A lot of Mexicans. I love the Mexicans.

Remember that girl that said I was too fat? She was Mexican, remember? I loved her. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, by the time I die, I would like to experience a black woman and an Indian woman. You think you could get a black woman to date you? I've been on dates with half ones, half Halle Berry types. Halle Berry's not half black, isn't she? She's black, right? Full black? Is she? Yeah.

Her name is Halfie Berry. That's weird. I didn't know that. She's biracial. Halle Berry. Oh, wow. But you've never had a full black woman, both black parents. I've hit on them before. Oh, no, no. Actually, a month ago at the comedy store, I made out with one. Wow. A full black. She's hot. She's a supermodel. Yeah. What is it? Yeah. I mean, she's just stunning. You know what I mean? And what happened to that? She's from Nigeria. And they have these skinny Nigerian lips.

It reminded me of that Tom Hanks movie.

You know that Tom Hanks movie where he's a captain? I'm the captain. What? I'm the captain. And those pirates? Right. Yeah, had those kind of lips. Oh, like Somalian. Yeah, Somalian. Captain Phillips. Yeah, dried, you know what I mean, Somalian lips. Yeah. I'm not being racist. I'm just saying that, yeah. I mean, she was hot, but zoom in on the mouth. Is that her? Yeah. She had that kind of lip. It was a little dry, but you know what I mean? Very hot. One of my good friends is Somalian. They all kind of look very similar.

You got a good friend that's Somalian? I do. Comic? Yeah. No, not a comic. A human. A friend from college. A human, yeah. A regular adult. Regular guy. They look very similar. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, why not? Yeah. How about a Korean? Have you hooked up with a Korean? I've really been around the world. I've gotten a little bit of everything. That's great. Laser beams, eastern hemis. All right, good. Yeah. Greenland? Greenland.

No. Those northern lights, do you like it? Scandinavia. Yeah, okay. Scandinavia. Swedes. Swedes. Norwegians. Swedes, yeah. I've got a little bit of everything. Black, white. Yeah. You've touched all the bases. Jewish.

And now that you're with your beautiful white wife. She's a white girl. Yeah, yeah. You feel like you've traveled the world and now I'm going to stick back to my people. That's right. That's what happened. Is she Greek? My wife is half Greek, half Italian. Yeah. Only Greek girl I ever dated, by the way. Wow. Yeah. Only Greek girl. Can I ask about, is it hairy down there with Greeks? You're talking about my wife's vagina? No, it's just in general. I assume it's hairy, but I don't want to...

You know what I mean? I can be open to it that it's not. Nobody's hairy anymore. Nobody's hairy anymore. Okay. Everyone's trimmed down. When we were kids. Is that a rude question, you think? About his wife's pussy? Yeah, that's a fucking rude question. Is it an innie or outie? Does it open like a flower? Jesus Christ. Okay, let's move on. Okay, fine. Keep going. Really? Yeah, it's great. Yeah. Would I feel anything when I enter? Well-

That's really disrespectful. Okay, good. That's really disrespectful. There's a lot of disrespect going on on your end as well. No, that's a different level of disrespect. A lot of disrespect on your end as well, so I'm just giving it back. That's a different level of disrespect. Yeah, really? Yeah, you talk about... Are you angry now? I'm fucking pissed. No, you're not. Guess what? I'm never doing Tiger Belly again. Okay, good. So our numbers can rise. Oh, it's true. It's a favor what he has me on. No, listen. I love you. I love you too. Okay, I apologize.

It's rude. It's rude. Exactly. It is rude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I apologize to you. That's nice. Okay. Thanks. How about your mom's pussy? It's, you know, slanted. Is it crossed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's horizontal. And we're trying to get a surgery where it's... I'm Bobby's pussy. Come on. Stop it. No. Dude, they beat me into my fucking flight. I gave them my passport. And the guy said, this doesn't have your name on it. I said, yes, it does. He goes, it doesn't say Bobby's mom.

That's so funny. It was very funny. That's very funny. I was like, good on that guy. To answer your question, Greek women are hairy. Yeah. Okay. Let's move on. It's a little hairy. It's just a scientific question. It's just a fact. You guys are more hairless like Sphinx cats. Yeah. We're a little more hairy. Now that you're black, you must have loved Sinners. The show Sinners? The movie.

Oh, I didn't see it. Oh, wow. You would love it. Is that Michael B. Jordan? Yeah. I really like it. Did you see it? No. Yeah. I do think I'm 2025 will mark the end of my Hollywood. What are you doing? You're done. I think after 2025, I think I'm no longer going to try to be in stuff. Yeah. I think this is it. Why? I think I just don't want to do it anymore. I hear you. I think I'm out. I think I'm out too.

You just named four projects you're working on. I know, but Karate Ghost, Gutter Markers, these smaller, like, drugstore dunes. What was it? Gutter Markers? I was in a movie called Gutter Markers. What?

Any normal named film coming up? With Jim Belushi and Leslie Jones and Eleanor Kerrigan's in it. Love her. We should all do like a podcast movie. We're doing one right now. About our podcasts and like murder and violence. Who dies? I don't know. So do you think it's just not- It's dead. It's dead. It's dead. So Hollywood is dead. Yeah. No, it's alive. Yeah. If you're part of an elite group that is getting all the money-

If you're on an Apple show. Right. Yeah. I mean, you saw the studio. That might have had everybody and their fucking brother in it. Yeah. Except for us. Us. Does it pay well like it used to? Apple. Apple does, yeah. If you're one of those guys. If you're a name, it pays well. Would you choose between doing Bad Friends or the studio? What would you pick? Studio. Bad Friends? What do you mean? If you had to choose two career paths, you could be in the studio or you can just keep going. As a lead? Like if I was Ike's role? Yeah. Sure, I would do that. Instead of Bad Friends? Yeah.

Wow. You mean forever? Yes. No, I do bad. Okay, thank you. Well, this is more meaningful just to do a role on a show. Everyone, you heard it for her first. Apple TV Plus is reportedly losing a billion per year. What do they care? They make phone. Bobby just bought a new phone. He's helping. Oh, wow. It doesn't matter. They can lose all the money in the world. That show had literally every star

That's around in it. But losing a billion a year is not a great business model. It doesn't matter. What is Apple? It's branding. Yeah. That's just what they would spend on advertising. Right. What does Apple gross a year? Not even fucking net. What do they gross? Trillions. That's for now until Trump moves on. Apple's annual revenue for last year was $391 billion. Yeah, that's because Chinese slaves make it.

We're going to bring the factories back here and these guys are going to go back to work and make it. Wow. So they're going to be more expensive and their profit margins are going to be less. The whole world's changing. Bob, do you know her? Karate Ghost. Karate Ghost. Karate Ghost. This is a selfie. Do I know her? Fuck off. Jung Yi, Jung Yi, what's your favorite movie? Karate Ghost. Karate Ghost.

Bobby Lee. Is this a, what is this? A trans quiz. Oh, trans quiz. Oh, and should I take it? Yes. I'll take the trans quiz. It's totally straight, by the way. All right. And if you feel weird about it, just pretend. Let's play the game. Let's see. Yeah, yeah. Continue. Is this person born female or trans? Born female. Born female. Trans.

All right, which one am I putting down? Well, he says born female. Yeah, I said trans. I was right. Okay, good, good, good. Oh, this is the quiz. Next question. I'm one for one. Zoom in a little bit. Can you zoom in a little bit more? The whole thing, the page? Oh, here we go. Woman. Born female. Transsexual. Transsexual. That's a woman, dude. You're wrong twice. Oh, fuck. See, that's what I mean. Ban it. I don't even know the difference. Trans. Woman. Trans. Wow, woman. Woman, what the fuck? We're gay again. Yeah. Yeah.

Trans. Trans. Trans. Trans. Trans. Yeah, I know her. She's famous. Yeah, yeah. Trans. Trans. Trans. Trans. All Asian. She was the iPhone girl. Yeah. Trans. Trans. Oh, trans. Trans. Trans. Yeah? Yep. Trans. Trans. Trans. No, real. That's a woman. That's where they get you. That's where you get you. Trans. Trans. No. No. Yeah, ban it. No.

You got to ban it. You got to ban it. You got to ban it. Yeah, we're confused. Yeah, yeah. I get that. I know a lot of people say this, but it is kind of like a burger and a Beyond Burger. Exactly. Depending on the condiments you put on it, you just have to put the right condiments on it. Exactly. It's close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's close. Thank you so much for backing me up on this. I can tell the difference. Dude, if something happens. I don't think you could. I like USDA.

Okay. I like it verified. I'm just saying, if something's got tits and a nice ass, that's a C+. It's getting a 75 on a test.

Yeah, that's true. And the face? And the face, yeah. If the face is beautiful? Beautiful. Oh, come on, guys. This is all you guys. Yeah. You know what our prediction is? Yeah. I think, Jonas, you will get there. You'll get there. You'll get there. We'll get you there. We'll get you there. Hey, boys. Yeah. You guys want to go to Thailand? I promise I won't. Yeah. You guys want to go to Thailand? I would never do that. No. No. Why? I think I would like to be a voyeur. Clota.

You're a window shopper. I'm a window shopper, yeah. Cucking. I'm seeing somebody now, and she's great. You know what I mean? So, you know, I like... Are you? Yeah. The spell worked from Andrika. What do you mean it worked? A while back... Holy shit. Holy shit, dude. The spell from Andrika worked. We paid for a spell to be put on Bobby, or Tim to spell to the world? How did we do... I don't even know how to...

It worked. We put two love spells out there. Irresistible Allure and Rival Be Gone because of the movie. Wow. Wait, so this is somebody put a real spell on him? No, you pay this woman, Andrika, to put a spell out to the world to give you what you want. Holy shit. And it's only 30 bucks. Whatever you want, dude. You name it. Do it, yeah. What do you want?

From the discussion about 15 minutes ago. A television deal? You want a television deal? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Television deal. Nah, I don't want to pay for that. 30 bucks. It's not my problem. We get a percentage though. Of his deal? Yes. You know he's going to bail when it gets, you know what I mean? What I want is for my two friends, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino to-

To have everything that they want in their life, to live well, have health, have happiness, have spirituality, peace. That sounds like a curse, not a sale. Yeah, it's a curse. It's not a miracle shop. What did you just say, fuckhead? It's not a miracle shop. Give me back the residual shirt. Yeah. You pig. I got you a shirt. I thought for sure you'd be more appreciative. You sloppy pig. You didn't even care. Love it. You didn't even care.

All right, fuck it. I want St. Laurent sneakers. Okay. Get him some YSL shoes. All right, let's get them. What size feet are you? I'm 10. Interesting. Can you put the spell out there? Yeah. These are St. Laurents? How much are they? $750. For the low top. So if we put 30, it's a good investment. I'll get it for 30. Now, when you wear those, do you think people care?

I fucking care. Exactly. You like that. I want to impress my black friend that I got nice sneakers. Yeah, yeah. I like them shoes. Yeah. I saw them Air Maxes when you came in. That's right. I said, my boy Giannis got them clean ass Air Maxes on. Ya hurt? Ya hurt? Ya hurt? Do you promote your special? Well, thanks for having me on to promote the special. Well, we're happy that you came on. You guys got quite an audience and I appreciate that.

So check it out. Check out my special. And number two what? History Hyena. Check that out. With Chris DiStefano. Love him. Love him. Love both of you. Check out our podcast. We're back together. It's great. Yeah. You know he's going to betray you again. I knew that was coming. But you know that he is, right? He's talking to us about it. He told us he's plotting it. Yeah, yeah.

So you got to get mentally prepared when he sabotages you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, let's 30 bucks, tell that chick. That's actually true. And let me ask you something. How could you forgive him? It's a portrayal. You know why we broke up? Vaccine. Vaccine had us thinking weird.

We both took the Pfizer. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Single shot, that did it. That messed up a lot. That messed up a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. That's all Fauci. Yeah, it's all Fauci. Oh, Fauci, dude. It's Fauci's fault. What a guy. Yeah. Well, you know what? They're making big changes over there. Yeah. Yeah. Why not? Why not, dude? Yeah. So, you know, it's worn off. We're back. We're good. Okay. People are loving it. It's happy times, good times. Yeah.

You're not working for ICE anymore. You're done? I'm done for ICE for the time being. Because it's brutal. That was, yeah, when History Hanging has ended, I got a job at ICE. Yeah. Wow. And I couldn't take it anymore. You just put screaming. It's a lot. Yeah, just the screaming. At first, I enjoyed it. You still friends with Stephen Miller? That's a friendship and a bond that can't be broken. Okay. I've known him since we were little kids. Okay, okay. And we just see eye to eye on everything. All right, good. You know what makes me happy?

It makes me happy to know that this show is still as stupid as it's always been from the beginning because I see a lot of our podcast pals or people in our sphere who

that are taking these shows to a level that we don't go to. Which is what? Well, they're all having politicians on. Journalists. Tim got fucking interviewed by CNN. Yeah. I was like, what in the fuck is going on? Yeah, we stay here. Same with hyenas. We stay right here. Right here. Yeah. And I saw that they had Bernie on Schultz's show. Yeah. What the fuck is going on? It's not coming here. Bernie? Bernie?

We had David Mamet. Yeah, Ben Affleck. Yeah, but that's rad. We got people that they can't get. Yeah. No, it's not that they can't get them. Oh, they can get them, but we got them too. I just don't think we want politicians on the show. No, no, no, no. I think that's a strange world. Pete Buttigieg I'd have. He's gay? Yeah. No, thanks. Ban it. No, no, no. It's getting a little muddled, right? It's getting a little... What's going on? I just think we're... I just think...

Podcasting comedy podcasting is entering this world of like news or something. Yeah. And people are taking it serious.

And it's not. Well, there was an article after the election about how legacy media doesn't have the power it once had and that podcasting is now, you know what I mean, replacing some of that. That's not good. We shouldn't replace it. This should be its own thing. This is its own form of music. Do you know what I mean? Well, you know, like the news on TV was like the dictatorship, the regime. And then the internet was like,

An American military coup. And then there was a vacuum. And now comedians and grifters are like warlords. They're like news warlords. Whoa. We're warlords. We're not warlords. No, what are we? We're like Sweden. You guys are like funny warlords. Yeah, yeah. We're funny warlords. The dictator would be in control and give it. Now you're like marauding warlords in control of your own fiefdom. Wow.

Bad friends. Wow. And Tim's got his fiefdom. We're all warlords. Yeah. Wow. Filling this vacuum. But also, I mean. From this coup. We also, I mean, you probably know more than me, probably, but I don't know much. In the world? Yeah. Yeah.

I only know what I read this morning. Yeah, so me too. So my point is that we don't know enough to have these people on. We are goofy. Yeah. It's a comedy podcast. Imagine Bernie Sanders coming. It's great to be here. And Bobby's like, what does your penis look like? Yeah. Yeah. No, I wouldn't say that. Why you are your fucking motto? Why would I say that? What would you say? I'm Bernie Sanders. I go to your political. I don't know. But my point, I wouldn't say that about your dick. You get to penis somehow. Is your asshole gray? Z. Okay, that'd be one of them. Yeah, you're right. Is it though? Yeah.

It brings big numbers, right? That's probably why people do it. Because everyone's like talking. It didn't used to be this way. It didn't used to be everyone was into politics. Now even kids are into politics. Yeah. When I was like 12, I would just be like, smell my fingers. I know. Now people are like, what's your position on Israel-Palestine? You're like, you're 12 years old, guy. Yeah. Well, I know your position. What's my position? I'm not going to say it. Say it. Yeah. Say it. You're standing strong. I'll tell you that. You're standing strong. That's all I know. Standing strong. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And probably on the wrong side of history.

- Well, what is my position? - I have no idea. - You just said you know it. - But you know it. I don't know, you know. - I'm definitely on the right side of history. - Okay. - Yeah. - You on the right side or wrong? - I'm looking at the map. What is the right side? The right side, you mean the literal right side? - Well, let me see. - That's interesting. - The right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That'd be the right side. - That's right. - Yeah, over there. - I mean, I don't think people even know what we are politically.

What, our fans? Our fans, really. Yeah, well, it's interesting to see the guesses. Yeah. A lot of people like to guess. Yeah. You guys are a couple of Republican kids. Hardcore Republican kids? Hardcore Republican. Are we? All right. He's against immigration. Who is? Right, look, right.

Let me tell you something. I used to work at a coffee shop called Panic in La Jolla. Yeah. And every morning, the only friends I had there were the Hispanic old men that were working in the kitchen. Thou doth protest too much. This is all a cover for one of them all. And I had a bond with them that was – what? This is what people do when they try to cover for the fact –

that they want all of them out. I'm not done with the story. Okay, go ahead. So I had this experience with them every morning and then I called ICE and they're gone. I knew it. I knew it. Well, it's so close to the border. Yeah. It's like they had to go far. Yeah. No, I really love those guys, you know, and...

To me, they're just hardworking people that just, you know, they came from a place where they couldn't really afford to feed their families and they came here and they're doing the work that normal people don't want to do and I have no problem with that. I agree. And we're all immigrants. Normal people. Americans don't want to do. Wow, but you call them normal people. So they're abnormal people? No, they're not. They're normal as well. So, but why did you say... They're normal in an abnormal way. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Well, I will say we got a couple immigrants here and he does a job. Praise the Lord. Nobody wants to do. So that is true. Anyway, Giannis, look in the camera and say thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend.