Bethany Collins Buckles Part 1: Thanksgiving
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Bethany was a emotional, sensitive, caring person. The thing that's so tragic about this is that Bethany did not start out life as someone destined for an end like this. She had tremendous promise. She was doing so well and so smart and such a sweet person. Her life didn't have to go this way. That's the tragedy to me. And in my mind's eye, I see...

this young, kind, sweet, smart person who, you know, the world was her oyster and then she lost her father. I mean, it's where all this stems from. And what a tragedy. I literally saw this coming for her like a freight train.

She's from Atlanta, and then that's where her mom lived. Her mom moved here when Bethany disappeared. She just moved up here to try to find her. She's a very smart woman and very persistent. We're just trying to find closure for her mother, and she knows that the outcome is likely not going to be good, but she still wants answers just to know what happened with her daughter and

In the week leading up to Thanksgiving 2021, Bethany Collins-Buckles was making holiday plans with her mother, Jolinda. Bethany was at her condo in Asheville, North Carolina, while Jolinda was at her home in Atlanta, Georgia. Jolinda planned to drive up to Asheville for the holiday, and they were making a shopping list to send over to the grocery store for pickup. That way, they would have everything they needed to cook Thanksgiving dinner once Jolinda arrived in town.

Before they got off the phone, they decided to finalize their plans the next day. In the days that followed, there was no word from Bethany. With Jolinda being so far away in Atlanta, she was unable to drive over to Bethany's condo and check on her daughter herself. So she contacted the Asheville Police Department to conduct a welfare check.

An officer reported back that no one was home, and Bethany's car wasn't parked outside. Once Jolinda made it to Asheville, she went to Bethany's home, only to find that her little dog had been locked inside for days without food or water. This was not like Bethany. Jolinda decided it was time to report her daughter missing. As the investigation into Bethany's disappearance began, they unearthed some strange clues.

And now, several years later, they're still left with more questions than answers. I'm Marissa, and from Wondery, this is episode 466 of The Vanished, Bethany Collins-Buckles' story, part one, Thanksgiving.

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47-year-old Bethany Collins-Buckles had grown up in the Atlanta, Georgia area, but later attended college in Asheville, North Carolina, and fell in love with the mountainous landscape. She ended up making Asheville her home.

Bethany's mom, Jolinda, was working as a teacher in Atlanta back in 2021. As the Thanksgiving holiday was getting closer, Jolinda contacted Bethany so that they could order the supplies they needed from a local grocery store. Jolinda's school wasn't going on break until right before Thanksgiving, and she wanted to ensure that they had everything they needed ahead of time. The plan was that Jolinda would put the order in and Bethany would pick it up. Here's Jolinda.

Beth and I texted almost every day. I had called her on Tuesday night to talk about Thanksgiving. I'd order the stuff at Publix. I didn't get out of school in time to go home and cook everything and drive up here, so I would just order it up here. It was needed for her to tell me that she could go pick it up, and you have to order it the week ahead of time if you want to get an order.

an order in. She and I had discussed this on Tuesday night. I said, before I make the order, I need for you to tell me, yes, you will definitely be able to pick that up before the store closes that day. And she said, well, I'll have to talk to you tomorrow about that. So I was expecting to hear from her the next day so I could make the order. And I did not. And I texted, nothing happened.

I called, nothing happened. And by the end of the next day, by the end of Thursday, I knew that something was wrong because she would have at least texted. Even if she was blowing me off, she would have sent me a short text. I called the police and asked them to do a wellness check Friday. So they went to the condo, knocked on the door. Nobody's there. Her car's not there. Now she had a little fluffy white dog. The condo had tall windows and it was on the ground floor. And I

And I asked them, well, did you see the dog? And they said, no, we didn't see any sign of a dog. At that particular time, I was having a problem with my right foot and I suddenly couldn't drive. So I had to wait for my son to drive down to Atlanta and get me to drive me back up to the condo so I could try to get in the condo to see what was going on. So it was late Saturday night before I actually got up here and arrived.

I had put an electronic lock on the door and then she could change the code if she needed to. And she had changed it since the last time she told me what the code was. I didn't have the code, so I had to get a locksmith to come open the condo. And the little dog comes to the window and he's just going nuts because he's been in there three days by himself. No food, no water. I did not see any signs of a struggle. There wasn't any blood anywhere.

By this point in time, it had been several days since anyone had seen or heard from Bethany. Jolinda decided it was time to report her daughter missing to the Asheville Police Department, who began investigating Bethany's disappearance. Here's Detective Kevin Taylor from the Asheville Police Department explaining the timeline they've reconstructed of Bethany's last known movements. Her mother filed the report on the 20th at 9.47 a.m.

that Wednesday before she went missing, which I think would have been the 17th of November, if I'm not mistaken. We believe that she spent that evening, for the most part, in the South Asheville area and probably at her condo a good share of the time. I know she did go briefly to a grocery store nearby in the south end of town. And then I think some

Sometime after midnight, she left South Asheville and traveled up towards the east end of Asheville and possibly out towards the Swannanoa area, which is just outside the east side of town. I know at approximately 5 a.m., there was a transaction on her debit-type card at a convenience store on the east side of town. I mean, and that's assuming that was her that used the card.

Unfortunately, that convenience store didn't have video, but I did have video earlier in the evening from the grocery store. I know that she was alive and well then, but assuming that it was her at 5 a.m., during that early morning hours, she was communicating by phone with acquaintances, people she knew. So I'm assuming that was her, again, making those calls or texts or whatever. And then her phone went out of service later that morning. It

It last pinged again in the east side of town. It was off of Interstate 40, though. But, you know, we don't have a specific location. Just a tower that was off 40. Missing along with Bethany was her vehicle. However, in mid-February of 2022, her car was found abandoned not too far from home.

It was this black Toyota hatchback. The car was found February 15th, which was her birthday. So I remember that date in an Ingalls parking lot in Swannanoa, North Carolina. It's basically East Asheville. And this area is about 10 miles from the condo. The manager of the Ingalls grocery store said the car had been there about two weeks. They

They do have security cameras, but the car was right at the edge of the road. It's a pretty big parking lot, and the car had been parked as close to the street as it could be, and their cameras did not reach that far. I think somebody was concealing it. I think there was some publicity on

on the local news stations. But I remember thinking that somebody might have seen that and realized that the heat was going to get turned up on that car and they didn't want to be caught with it. And they decided, well, okay, this is not going to be a good car to keep. That was my thinking at the time.

Had Bethany's car been sitting unnoticed in the grocery store parking lot for months? Or had it been left there more recently by Bethany or an unknown third party? If it was the latter, could it have been hidden elsewhere before being abandoned? Detective Taylor shared his insights on the car's mysterious reappearance.

I don't believe it was there the whole time. And the reason I say that was because a couple of reasons. I had personally been traveling up and down that section of roadway because that's the Swannanoa area, just because we knew where she was possibly communicating with people out there. And that's fairly close to where that cell tower last pinged her at. So I'd been

travel in that area looking for her car and, you know, it was found at the Ingalls grocery store. And I had searched that parking lot previously and did not spot it there. And then the second reason being when I did actually find it there in February, I spoke with the manager of the store and the area where it was parked is what I would classify as the upper end of the parking lot. And he indicated that's where all

All the employees generally park. He said it was not there at the time she went missing. He made reference to, he noticed that there just a day or two before we had a pretty good snowstorm. Obviously, they have some cameras inside and they have them at the doorways. But like I mentioned, the car was parked on the upper side of the lot, which is out toward the highlands.

When Bethany disappeared, she had a part-time work-from-home writing gig. Her boss Melissa, who was also a close family friend, received updates from Jolinda as more details about Bethany's disappearance emerged. When Melissa learned that Bethany's car had been found, Bethany was in a hurry to get her car.

But the person who had left it there managed to avoid detection, staying just out of reach of the surveillance cameras. She couldn't help but wonder, had that been mere luck, or did the person who left the car know exactly which areas of the parking lot were unmonitored?

I really didn't know what to make of that. I mean, obviously it made me question foul play. It was right out of range of where the security camera should have been able to pick it up. And so for that reason, no one ever saw it getting returned. That definitely has piqued my curiosity for quite some time. The whole thing seems way too convenient that that would be the case. And I have...

Bethany's disappearance left both her loved ones and law enforcement stumped.

Bethany's story is complex and layered, so before we delve deeper into the mystery of what may have happened to Bethany, we need to rewind and explore the events that led Bethany to the point in her life where she vanished, just days before Thanksgiving in 2021. Jolinda recalled that in her early years, Bethany was a bright, outgoing girl who eagerly took on any challenge that came her way.

We lived in Decatur, which is maybe 10 minutes from the city center of Atlanta. And she grew up with lots and lots of relatives. She was a very sunny, happy, smart, smart child, scarily smart, who was interested in just everything. She loved ballet. After we went to see The Nutcracker one year, she'd asked me to put the snowflakes on and

And she wanted me to light all the candles in the house so she could dance her way through the entire score. Oh, and she had to put on her tutu. And her little dancing school had done their version of Nutcracker and whatever three-year-olds do in Nutcracker. She was four when her brother was born. She was an early reader. She loved all kinds of music. And her father was a very amazing musician and could play music.

And so he would play the entire score of Annie, the musical. And from early age, she loved singing while he played. But she wouldn't let him teach her how to play because she said, I'll never be able to play as good as Daddy, so I don't want to try. She was outgoing. She was always a little bit taller. She'd be the tallest girl in her class. So sometimes there were kids who would tease her about being the tall girl or being...

Throughout her childhood, Jolinda said Bethany was full of ambition, with big dreams for her future. Bethany's aspirations were as boundless as her energy.

to be a vet, to be a marine biologist, to be a writer. It was marine biology for a long time. But we went to the beach for vacation. After she saw the Olympics, when she was about eight, she decided she wanted to be an ice skater. And there were no ice rinks anywhere near us at that time. And one was built when she was 10. So she did take up competitive ice skating classes.

She skated competitively from age 10 to age 17. And you had to have dedication and willingness to fall and get back up and try again. But she absolutely loved it. We also spoke to Bethany's Aunt Chris, who shared that she always had a special bond with her niece. From a young age, Chris said she could sense a unique connection to Bethany.

Well, when I met her, she was probably about nine years old. She was very sweet, so smart, doing really well in school, very spiritual kind of a person. She was a little bit on the serious side. She was extremely close to her father, who she adored. I really bonded with her. She was a very, very sweet girl.

Bethany had always been a daddy's girl. She shared an especially close bond with her father, and his sudden passing when she was just 11 years old left a hole in Bethany's heart. Bethany's father, who was only 38, lost his battle with cancer, and Chris recalled how the tragedy shook the entire family. But for Bethany, the loss was profoundly devastating. She had been so deeply connected to her dad that his death marked a turning point in her life.

Everything changed for them. It devastated the family. Well, I certainly saw it. It was inevitable. I mean, as close as she was to her father. And he was such a, I don't know, he brought humor to everything and was a really, really wonderful person. And he was really missed by everybody. And I think the person who missed him most of all was his daughter, was Bethany.

I saw her struggling a great deal after her father's death. And there were some significant problems that I was seeing with Bethany. She already had low self-esteem when I met her when she was nine. They definitely got worse after her father passed away. I could see Bethany dissolving in front of me after her father's death so much so that

that I remember telling my ex-husband, I could see something coming for her like a freight train. I just could see there was something that was going to hit her in her future and it was going to be bad. Credit Karma is your evolved financial assistant, making managing your finances simpler and more tailored to you. Join us at creditkarma.com to start your personalized financial journey today and continue to grow with our innovations. Credit Karma, evolve your finances.

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Jolinda said that her husband's death marked a profound shift in Bethany, one that changed her in ways that no one could have ever anticipated. As time passed and Bethany entered her teenage years, Jolinda found herself struggling to reconnect with the daughter she once knew. The vibrant, ambitious girl she had raised seemed to have withdrawn. And no matter how hard Jolinda tried, she couldn't seem to steer Bethany back on the path she had been on before the loss of her father.

She was 11 and her little brother was seven when their dad died. You know, I immediately found counseling for them. It took several tries to find a counselor that they would tolerate because most of the counselors they talked to just made them mad. The kids would say, how do they know what they've never been through this? They don't know what it's like. Since he was an ordained minister, they were mad at God. She was never the same child after that. It totally fractured her world.

She had always been a straight-A student, but by the end of that school year, her focus on her schoolwork had begun to decline. By the time she was 13, I didn't even really, I mean, she seemed so different. Of course, I understand she was becoming a teenager, and she just became a completely different child.

She had tremendous abandonment issues with men. When she hit 15, it was like a switch turned on in her head where I could look at her eyes and I could not even recognize the person inside those eyes as the same person that I used to know. She made her first suicide attempt when she was 15. At that time, way back then, insurance would still pay for abandonment.

a couple of months of institutional care, and she did go to an adolescent unit. While she was there, they diagnosed her as bulimorexic. They said she had both anorexia and bulimia. And they believed that she was bipolar, but she did not respond to lithium in the way that they expected her to. And lithium was the only available drug at that time. And

And that was kind of the test for whether you were bipolar. If you responded to the lithium, then you must be bipolar. Her diagnosis psychologically, other than the eating disorder, was undetermined when she left that place.

We also spoke with Heather, one of Bethany's cousins, who was much younger than her. Heather fondly recalled how despite their significant age difference, Bethany always made an effort to include her. Bethany's kindness and attentiveness made her stand out. For Heather, Bethany wasn't just a cousin. She was a role model and someone who made her feel seen and valued, no matter how young she was.

We are not close in age. She's 15, 20 years older than me. We were kind of close for a number of years, maybe like five or 10 years. See each other fairly regularly.

I loved her. She was great. She had like a special interest in me as like a little sister kind of thing. I felt like I could confide in her. I thought she was really cool. She was very kind to me and very interested in my life when my other cousins really weren't. And I think family was really important to her too. And her dad died too when she was very young. I think that really was hard for her.

As Bethany transitioned into early adulthood, she faced a few false starts with college, trying out different paths that never felt quite right. However, everything changed when she discovered Warren Wilson College in the scenic mountains of North Carolina. It was there that Bethany found a place where she truly belonged.

Drawn not only to the college's unique academic offerings, but also the close-knit community and the breathtaking natural surroundings. For the first time, she felt like she was on the right path, and it sparked a renewed sense of purpose in her.

She started college at Berry College in Georgia, but only lasted a semester there. She said it was too religious. So she bounced around to several colleges, including taking professional photography courses at Gwinnett Tech. Then she went to the University of Georgia for a while, and that didn't suit her. Then it was time for her brother to be looking for colleges, and I had read about Warren Wilson College earlier.

It's actually in Swannanoa, which is right next to Asheville. Warren Wilson College is a very small, very unique place. They emphasize service as well as academics. And it's set in the mountains and it's beautiful. And it is a very tolerant college in terms of you can be whoever you need to be. And the minute my son stepped foot on that campus, he said, if I can't go here, I'm not going anywhere. And Beth was with us for the visit. And she said,

Well, I'm going to go here. I like it too. She loved the mountains. She loved Asheville. And Asheville, kind of a hippie place in some ways, kind of losing that as it grows. She majored in psychology, and then she went to UNC Asheville, and she did the teaching certification thing for reading specialists. She was a certified teacher.

At some point, she had a job in the summertime as a river guide on the Pigeon River. People paid to go in the boats and they went on the rapids and you had to have some skills to do that. She loved that job and she considered herself to be very athletic, especially after all the ice skating.

While attending Warren Wilson College, Bethany formed a friendship with Deneen, who shared with us what initially drew her to Bethany. Deneen said it was clear from the start that Bethany was someone special.

We went to college together. So we were really close in college a couple years after college. She had a lot of friends in college. We had a good, solid group of girlfriends, and even after college. So back then, Beth was very extroverted. She was one of my first friends. When I started college, she introduced me to a lot of people. She was real fun. She was always real feisty, too. There was always a feistiness to her that attracted me to her.

Bethany always had a passion for working with children, and after graduating from college, she found a fulfilling job at a summer camp. Christy, the camp director who hired Bethany, recalled that from the start, Bethany stood out not just for her dedication, but for her natural ability to connect with kids. She quickly became one of Christy's most dependable employees, often going above and beyond in her role. Bethany was a very good friend of Bethany's.

Over time, their professional relationship evolved into a friendship. Christy described Bethany as someone who was not only hardworking, but also a truly genuine and compassionate person.

Originally, I met Bethany because I hired her and she worked for me at a summer camp program back in around 2000. So I worked with her very closely, her running a summer day camp for me. And then through that, we ended up becoming friends and stayed in touch. I mean, she really stood out, super kind, super nice. She had great references, really good friends.

really smart, just hard worker, really liked her. The kids liked her. She ran a smaller summer day camp program out of a church and she was the site director. So then she had staff under her and it was a hard job, responsible for the children activities. I mean, she was over the whole program, could always count on her. She always showed up. She was fun and

She loved working with the kids. The kids loved her. I mean, she was like one of my top, completely count on her, call her to do anything and know that she would step up and do it. She was great. Very dependable. Bethany loved music, almost like a flower child type person. Loved the Grateful Dead, Fish, that kind of music. Very laid back, kind of a spiritual person. I don't

I don't know if she was necessarily religious, but very laid back. She ended up buying this adorable house over in South Asheville. I just loved it. She was so excited about it. And she was doing great. She was really doing great.

Jolinda watched as Bethany thrived in her roles working with children. Jolinda saw the vibrant, confident young woman that she always knew had been within Bethany. It was a relief to see her daughter rediscover the joy and fulfillment that had once seemed lost.

Beth was magical with kids. She worked in a Title I school, K-5. She kept a portfolio, which I still have, of the work that she did with them. She wrote grants to get money to buy books so that the kids would receive a book a month in the mail in the summer. I

I helped her buy a house up here. And she lived in that little house two or three years before she met the fellow that she would marry. And she was working in daycare. She was working in after-school programs. And then she worked for the school system five to seven years in there. And part of that overlapped when she got married and part of it didn't.

Jolinda briefly mentioned that Bethany later married. She explained that at first, the relationship seemed full of promise. However, things took a turn when she and her husband made a joint decision to pursue a career change together. But the shift proved more difficult than expected, especially in the wake of a struggling economy. What seemed like an exciting new chapter quickly unraveled.

And Jolinda said that as the couple faced mounting challenges, their relationship began to fall apart. From there, things only spiraled in ways that neither of them had anticipated.

I think it was a good relationship. I liked him very much. I loved him as a son. And Beth was intense, and she could go from zero to 100 in a split second emotionally. They seemed to be rocking along fine for a couple of years. And

And then they decided that they would both drop their jobs and get their real estate license and move to Charleston because he was from the Charleston-Edisto Island area, which is where they got married. They had a lovely destination wedding on the beach. And that was right when the real estate market crashed. So it was a really exceptionally bad time to try to start a career in real estate. And

Their marriage also fell apart at that time. And I'm pretty sure, and of course, people who have mental illness often self-medicate. And I'm pretty sure that Beth was using some drugs that were interfering with that relationship. So he drove all the way back to my house in Atlanta from Charleston and said, here, I can't take it anymore. This is the end. And kind of dumped her on my doorstep.

Once Bethany was back at her mother's home in Atlanta, Jolinda could immediately tell that her daughter was not in a good place. Concerned, Jolinda did everything she could to help Bethany get the support she needed. Despite her efforts, Bethany seemed to only get worse, and Jolinda watched helplessly as her daughter spiraled further. After exhausting all other options, Jolinda made the difficult decision to involve law enforcement, hoping it would lead to the intervention that Bethany so desperately needed.

She landed back in Georgia here and she didn't have a job and she had nothing. I sent her to a rehab place and she got kicked out after six weeks because she wouldn't follow the rules. And when they kicked her out, the counselor, because they require the families to come in and have counseling. And she called me the day that Beth was being released and she said, whatever you do, do not let her come back home. So I didn't.

And she was homeless for about two weeks and took up with some man and came to my house and pawned everything that she could. She even pawned my vacuum cleaner one time, took credit cards and a car without permission. I pressed charge. For one thing, she had, during that timeless period, she had started going in

in my neighborhood where I lived, knocking on the neighbor's doors asking for money. She also developed a pretty good con game, something about going to gas stations and telling people she forgot her wallet and could they give her $25 and she would write them a check. And my address was on her checks and somebody came to my door one time,

expecting me to make that good. That frightened me. I had some neighbors who were very fine people who, when she knocked on their door, they could tell there was something wrong with this person. And they got in touch with me. They helped give me the courage to press charges against her because she had to be stopped. But it's still your child. You

You still love him. You're still trying to figure out a way to fix it. And you don't want him to go to jail. But at least I knew where she was. I knew she was safe. And I knew she wasn't with this random guy she took up with, who, as it turns out, was capable of violence. The DA, the district attorney, called me and said, if

It's extremely rare that we have parents who actually do this. And we just want to tell you that we're going to work with you as hard as we can to get a good outcome for this because we have a lot of respect for your effort to do this. Fine people in my neighborhood hired her a lawyer. I didn't have the money for it, but they did. So she had a plea deal that it was time served, but she did have to go straight to

After this intervention, Jolinda noticed a significant change in Bethany. Slowly, her daughter began to emerge from the fog that had clouded her for so long. Bethany seemed more like herself again. Jolinda felt a renewed sense of hope for her daughter's future.

She came back and stayed at my house. She was definitely much better and she was not using. And our kind neighbors owned a restaurant and a catering business and hired her. She stayed in Georgia until about 2012, maybe, working off and on with the catering business. Somewhere along the way in there, she also...

Also worked at a private school in Atlanta in their after-school programs.

Bethany eventually made her way back to Asheville, after she reconnected with a man she had briefly dated years earlier, while the two worked as river guides together. They had shared a connection at the time, but life pulled them in different directions. Bethany also had a supportive community of friends in Asheville that she met while in college and working in the years before she left. Bethany hoped this new chapter would offer a fresh start.

She met a guy, a fellow guide up there. I think she dated him a little bit. And then, of course, they went on with their lives. Then flash forward to 2012. And somehow, I guess on Facebook or something, they reconnected.

She returned up here to be with him and she was not using. She was healthy. She was working. I came up and met his parents. It looked to me like it was going to work out, but it didn't. And I don't know why. And she had been living with him and then she was homeless. And when she was 36, she had to have a hip replacement.

which is unusual, I think, for a 36-year-old. I think it was because of the ice skating and you just fall so much. I think it was from that point. I'm just guessing because of exposure to the pain meds from that point on, I think that drug use resumed.

After facing several setbacks, Jolinda helped Bethany purchase a condo in Asheville. Bethany appeared to be making steady progress in a positive direction. Then, things began to look even brighter when she landed an online job that allowed her to pursue one of her greatest passions, writing. It was a perfect fit, offering her both the creative outlet she craved and the flexibility to work from home.

She was not working steadily. And for a while, she did not have a car. And even though there was public transportation about two blocks from her house, this is not a big 13-county metro area like Atlanta. The public transportation is limited. I think she tried working at the Dairy Queen, which was a walkable distance. She tried some paid work with the Democratic Party.

That would be off and on kind of work. And then she started getting some online work. And Melissa was her online boss because Melissa, who is a friend of mine, has a multiple online kind of businesses. And one of them is creating content for websites. Beth is a very good writer. That is one of her great strengths. And she was always starting novels and never finishing them. She had the dream that she could become a

a writer. And she participated in some kind of writer's group, but she was doing online work for Melissa writing content. I don't think she got the diagnosis until she had moved back up here. Mental health care was not really accessible if you didn't have money and insurance, but the county government up here had an indigent care system, mental health system. She did

participate in that. And that's where she got the diagnosis. They also did PTSD and anxiety, as well as bipolar. Certainly the last 10 years of her life, she definitely had medication for bipolar.

Bethany's employer, Melissa, shared how she first met Bethany and the dynamic of their working relationship. From the moment they began working together, it was clear that Bethany had a natural talent for writing. But Melissa also noticed that Bethany had some personal struggles. Melissa did her best to be supportive, offering a listening ear and flexibility whenever Bethany needed it.

I met Beth because her mother used to be a teacher of mine in high school. I had tried to kind of reach out to Beth and try to be kind of a friend, if that makes any sense. Her mom had always been kind of like a surrogate mom to me. Her mom really helped me learn how to write. I found my own digital marketing agency since around 2011. And so I do a lot of content for people, for websites, ghostwriting books, that kind of thing. And she...

needed some work because again, you know, she had been working as a teacher and then stopped working as a teacher and was looking for something different, something new. And so I needed some additional help. She took on some additional work with me, essentially working as a writer. I had worked close with her. She seemed chaotic. She seemed like she needed a friend.

And her mom had always been a friend to me. So I was trying to be a friend back. She was a little flaky, for lack of a better word. She sometimes wouldn't finish assignments or things just would need to take a pause. And that happened a few times off and on. She got really hyper focused on unusual situations and unusual things, very into socializing

the far right and the far left and conspiracy theories and things like that. She started to show some signs of paranoia

And she would get things together for a little while, and then it would seem like things would fall apart. She'd have six months where things were going really well, and then she would have a spiral. And then it would be another six months, and then there would be a spiral. So she and I had this constant start-stop. And as long as she was able to get the work done, I was always able to give her work, if that makes sense. But

When there were extended periods of time where no work was being produced, we would sometimes take a break. I had even referred her to a few mental health professionals over the years and even paid for some of her treatments. So that's something that I was completely aware of. She was aware she had a problem, but I don't think she...

sometimes understood where the problem was coming from. And I think she also sometimes was not completely honest about everything that was going on. And I think she felt a little misunderstood by the people around her. And I think that that was also a challenge.

I just tried to be there to listen because I figured that if that were me, I would want someone to listen to me. I always tried to be the best friend and confidante I could be. Even though she would tell me the truth, I feel like she always held back something from me because she was concerned that I might say something to her mom. She thought of me as a friend, but I don't think she told me everything.

In 2021, we were still in the midst of a global pandemic, and Melissa felt that the isolation Bethany experienced may have made a bad situation even worse. With limited social opportunities, Bethany found herself more alone than ever. Melissa tried to encourage Bethany to seek out social outlets, suggesting activities that might help her reconnect with others and combat the loneliness.

I think the pandemic didn't offer a lot of options for doing things in person. I know that everyone was so isolated and things were so weird in 2020 that that had a lot to do with isolation. And I think she probably would have been more social. I know she and I used to talk all the time. She loved poetry and I,

always used to suggest to her, because there was a place right down the street from where her condo was, that she should go and do some poetry readings in the cafe there. She did do that occasionally. And it was kind of one of her ways to kind of get out and about and also share a part of herself. She was a really great writer. And I was always trying to encourage her to

come out of her shell a little bit more and use her gift to kind of reach other people, which is why I was always suggesting that she go and do poetry readings and things like that. But I think that the pandemic definitely had something to do with it.

Melissa was one of the people Bethany interacted with most frequently in the months leading up to her disappearance. Melissa stayed in close contact to offer both support and guidance. She did her best to keep tabs on Bethany, checking in regularly to see how she was doing, especially given the challenges she had been facing. However, one day, everything changed. Bethany missed their scheduled call to discuss an assignment, and this was unusual for Bethany. Melissa immediately became concerned.

Sheena used to talk pretty much every day, multiple times a day. I would call her in the morning and give her an assignment, something to work on, and then check in with her three to four times a day to see that the work was getting done, ask her if she had any questions, that kind of thing. I also kind of used that as a health check because, you know, I was trying to get her to feel engaged in the work, but also kind of hopeful for the future. So she would be focusing on

her sobriety and taking the next step and being independent and everything else. I was trying to support her and help her through that process. And yeah, she and I were talking until literally the day she disappeared.

I did not talk to her that day. No, she did not show up for work that day. And I had reached out to her mom just to see what was going on because I had expected her to call me that morning because we had a discussion scheduled about an assignment and I did not hear from her. Then her mom let me know a few hours later that they thought she was missing.

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After Jolinda reported Bethany missing, the news quickly spread across social media. Over the years, Bethany's life took various twists and turns, causing her to lose touch with some of her old friends, including Christy, the camp director she had worked for years earlier. Christy hadn't seen Bethany in quite some time.

But the last time they crossed paths, Bethany seemed to be doing really well. So when Christy came across an article on social media about Bethany's disappearance, she was stunned. Reading the comments felt unreal, a stark contrast to the hopeful, positive impression Bethany had left the last time they interacted.

We stayed in touch over the years, not real frequently. I knew nothing. I actually saw on social media, her picture came up and I was just shocked. And then I started reading comments on the social media to the news article about her missing. And people were commenting, saying that they had seen her soliciting for money and

And that she was telling people that she was a teacher, different stories that she was a teacher and she was trying to get supplies for her classroom. And it sounded like she became, from what I read, she became well-known just from the panhandling. She was so frequently going to these same spots. I was totally shocked. Never in a million years would have guessed that that would have happened to her. But yeah, I read all those comments multiple times and I was just like, oh my gosh. And that

That's why I felt so bad because I knew her mother had probably... I had never met her mother. Now, I'd heard her talk about her mom and I knew that was a good support person for her back when I knew her. But that's one of the reasons I reached out to her mom. I sent her a message on Facebook and just said, I knew Beth. That's not the Beth that I knew. And so we ended up going out to lunch because I told her, I was like, all these comments about Beth. These people don't know her. That is not her at all. I didn't...

I don't know if she started having some kind of mental break. I'm a social worker and I've worked a lot in mental health. And I didn't see this in Bethany at all when I knew her. Again, she worked for me. We actually went out a few times as friends, going to see music, things like that. And I just never picked up on any mental health issues at all. Now, I do know that it can surface later later.

She had come back again. That would have been about 11 years ago that I ran into her again. She had told me that she had been married, got into real estate. They moved to Charleston. They were working in real estate. She said we were making tons of money. And she had told me that she got mixed up in drugs really bad. And she said it was so bad. She said, Christy, at one time, I was so skinny from

from doing these drugs. I lost absolutely everything. And she said, I found myself at one time trying to get food out of a dumpster. I couldn't believe it. I mean, I can't believe it because I know how that can go. So I was so shocked by that. But when I saw her, she was dating this, actually another mutual friend of mine, great guy, really great guy. And they were dating. She was teaching a

So I was so happy she had recovered, got back on her feet, was really healthy, dating this very stable, great guy. But then when I saw this article and then I saw that she was missing, immediately I went to, she probably got mixed up in drugs again. And when I heard that she was kind of panhandling and I just told her mom, I'm like, that's not bad. She's like, it's really not. But that's where she landed.

And there were actually some parents that commented. And I was just reading all of the second I saw her. I was trying to do my own investigation. I was reading every comment. And some of the parents had commented. She was a teacher and she taught my child and she was really great. She was a really good teacher. My child loved her.

For Christy, it was deeply unsettling to reconcile the Bethany she had once known with the Bethany she was learning about in 2021, after she had disappeared. The contrast was stark, and Christy struggled to understand how someone so full of promise and potential could be caught in such a dark place.

It serves as a painful reminder of how mental illness doesn't discriminate. It can strike anyone at any time. People can fall so far so quickly, and often in ways that aren't visible to those around them. Christy couldn't help but wonder where things had gone wrong, and how someone as bright and determined as Bethany could slip so far.

She was an absolute beautiful soul. So kind and loving. Never a harsh word. She was dependable. She was one of my best site directors. I had to reach out to her mom. This description is not Beth. This description is the evil of drugs. It shows the deterioration of someone. And it also is a warning for people to see, hey, this is who she really was. And

Someone even like that, that was such a good natured, great person dedicating her life to working with children. And then she ends up here. That's a good lesson for people to see that warning of getting involved in drugs or just deteriorating mental health wise. I mean, it's the full picture.

Many of those we spoke to who had known Bethany in her younger years lost touch with her around the time her life took such a drastic turn. Her younger cousin Heather was one of them. She admitted that she was also shocked by the news of Bethany's disappearance. The Bethany she remembered seemed so distant from the person she was hearing about now.

So I really didn't have much, if any, interaction with her after this supposed change happened. The last time that I really saw her, and I don't even know what year this would have been, but it was shortly after she was married, she was teaching. So I don't know if it was shortly after that, that this transition would have happened, but

But I just remember knowing Beth and then hearing the things that my family was saying about her. And it really not making sense. But I cannot say that I had any firsthand experience of this transition in her. My mom is going to throw on Facebook or something and saw that Joanne had posted on Facebook, I think, that...

Beth was missing. And so my mom reached out and got some more information, found the news article, sent it to me, and that's how I found out. The fact that I had escalated to news articles was shocking to me. And one thing that her mom said is that it was very strange for Beth to have missed the holidays. And I can vouch for that. I mean, having grown up with her, we saw her every single holiday. Sometimes people

People don't want to actually be there, but she wanted to actually be there. I mean, we saw her every time we went to my grandmother's house for birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving. I didn't know her in the later years, but I would agree that she wouldn't have deliberately missed a holiday like that. I guess one of the things that she would do is when she was panhandling, she would say she was a teacher and she needed money for school supplies or something for her classroom. And it's just sad because she actually was a teacher, a good teacher.

those comments in the post online where it's just weird being on this side of it and seeing that because that's not who she was I don't know what happened to her but she really was a very good person and just always kind to me she was a really good family and I mean I loved her and it's just disappointing that this happened and that that's like her legacy and I just hope that we can resolve it so I wouldn't have been surprised you know she just

kind of was taking a break. But the fact that it's been so long, it's very disorienting.

Bethany's Aunt Chris, who had been married to Jolinda's brother when Bethany was younger, had lost touch with her niece after their divorce. When Chris learned that Bethany was missing, her mind immediately went back to a time years earlier, when Bethany reached out to her. It was a brief but meaningful connection, and Chris couldn't help but wonder if that moment had been a sign of something more, something that now felt all the more poignant given the circumstances.

It was that plain to me after she lost her father. So I was not surprised when I learned later on that she had completely gone off the rails, but I was not told about it at any point until after she reached out to me and contacted me maybe five years after I divorced my husband, which was the last time I talked to Bethany and had a very nice conversation with her.

She needed some closure and some understanding about why I had pulled away and maybe looking, hoping to establish a relationship with somebody. So we wanted to reconnect and wanted to have a conversation about what was going on from an adult's perspective so that she could understand better what had transpired. Yes, we had been very close when she was younger. I think it was a big loss for both of us. At that point, Bethany was doing great.

And she'd really come through and pulled her life together. And then somewhere between then and when she went missing, everything completely changed. But Bethany had definitely fallen off of everyone's radar. She completely pulled away. I happened to see that Jolinda had posted something about Bethany. And that's when I realized she was missing. And I was really surprised. That's how we all found out.

I reached out to JoLinda to see if there was anything I could do to help. When Bethany's disappearance made the news, as Christy mentioned, locals began commenting. But their perception of her was shaped by their limited encounters. Many knew her as someone who had panhandled in the area, even referring to her as the Red Mini Cooper Lady, since she used to drive a Red Mini Cooper. For some, it seemed almost like a joke or a passing mention in local gossip.

The problem was that those who viewed Bethany this way only saw her in that moment, someone struggling, without knowing who she had been before, or how she had ended up in such a place. Shifting the narrative and getting the public to care about Bethany's disappearance became an uphill battle. One of the goals of this series was to cultivate empathy for Bethany, and change the way she's been perceived. We

We wanted to move beyond the labels that have been placed on her and share the whole story, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Those who knew her understood that Bethany was far more than the difficult chapters in her life. When we spoke to Detective Taylor, we asked him if he had noticed how often mental health struggles and substance abuse are factors in missing persons cases he's investigated.

I do. It's sad to say that, but I think it definitely does. I think it's just, unfortunately, it's where we are in society today. I think it's sad that people make those kind of comments on social media, and I think there's more harm done than good out of it. Unfortunately, I mean, a large percentage of missing persons cases that end up being, I guess, for lack of a better word, long-term missing persons, they're frequently people who have substance abuse problems.

And mental health, but I would classify substance abuse more so. As Jolinda searched the internet for any clues about Bethany's whereabouts, she came across these comments too. The harsh dismissive words only deepened the pain she was already feeling, making the uncertainty of her daughter's disappearance even harder to bear.

Somehow I found those pages. I was kind of traumatized by finding them. And I responded to one of those pages because the negative comments, like some of the comments were, what kind of parent to raise a person like this? So I said, hey, I'm her parent. And another person had said, maybe she has mental health issues. And so I had answered, yes, I'm her mother and she does have mental health issues. Up here in Asheville, they have a large number of homeless people and

Large numbers of people on the street asking for money. And Beth, even though she wasn't homeless, sometimes she went out panhandling. And if she was in the parking lot of a super nice restaurant in Biltmore Village, the restaurant was going to call the police and ask her to leave. She had gotten a citation for misdemeanor trespassing.

Bethany's friend from college, Deneen, shared the same shock and confusion when she saw the online comments. She felt as though they made it all too easy for people to dismiss Bethany, painting her as someone unworthy of being searched for, as if her struggles somehow made her disappearance less important.

I kept in touch with her when she went away to South Carolina and then for a bit after she came back before she started really having some issues. And then I left. So we sort of lost touch. We don't think she really had any friends per se at that phase in her life. You know, mainly just men that she was interested in. I mean, I'm not 100% sure, but we don't feel like she had any true friendships at that point.

I knew she was having issues right before she went missing, which made me stay away from her. I recall it was getting a little intense. So of course there's guilt with that, but I was aware of her behaviors and just, she wasn't the same. And I might be making assumptions, but I just feel like

People weren't digging so deep because of her history. She's not being humanized. Like the red mini Cooper lady. Oh, she was a drug addict. She was this. And they're just brushing it aside. It's not a priority. I could be wrong, but I'll tell you, I've gone down a lot of rabbit holes.

trying to figure out what the heck's happened to her via social media and things like that. Obviously, I haven't made any progress, but I have really done a lot of digging. Her last ping on her phone was in Swannanoa. That's where we went to college. Then her car is dumped at the Ingalls in Swannanoa. So we're talking a 15 to 20 minute drive out there from her place. So I've always wondered about that Swannanoa connection.

Jolinda knew all too well the struggles her daughter had faced over the years, and she couldn't shake the fear that because of those issues, no one would make an effort to search for her. Determined to take matters into her own hands, Jolinda made the difficult decision to leave Atlanta behind and start fresh in Asheville. Her plan was simple yet filled with purpose. She would make the city her new home and search for Bethany herself.

I was three and a half hours away. And I continued to have this foot problem. I wasn't able to drive. So I couldn't even just hop in the car and come when I wanted to or needed to. I didn't want them to forget Beth. I was afraid they wouldn't work on her case because she wasn't some young soccer mom with three kids or a beautiful 16-year-old girl. I was afraid because

She had a kind of reputation for being a crazy person, so much so that before this happened, the Asheville police actually have a social worker. And the social worker had called me to ask me if I knew that my daughter had mental health problems, which of course I knew. And

I think they considered her kind of a nuisance, and I was afraid they would not look for her. I was afraid that she's a mental health problem. I was present when they searched her condo, and three homicide detectives came to do that. Sometimes I get the feeling that the detective I've been working with, Detective Taylor, that he, you know, I'm an old lady, I'm her mother. He is a little protective about maybe...

This is not something that a mother wants to hear. He was with those detectives that day. The other two detectives were not that way. When they came out, they asked some very blunt and kind of crude questions about Beth's lifestyle and things that I do not think she was involved in. I mean, they pull no bones about it. I guess those other detectives kind of gave me the idea that they either did not value this person or they...

Or they wanted to shock me. They were doing it on purpose to kind of shock me as if I had no idea what was going on with my kids. I don't know. They've made me very uneasy. And I just, I didn't want her to be forgotten. I was afraid they wouldn't look for her.

Melissa had known Jolinda long before she knew Bethany, and over the years she had witnessed Jolinda's incredible resilience, including her perseverance through a battle with cancer. Seeing Jolinda face yet another heart-wrenching challenge, Melissa's heart broke for her friend and mentor. She knew how much Jolinda had already endured, and she was determined to do whatever she could to support her.

I think she was trying to make sure she was there in order to be present, to do whatever she could do to help the police. And I've known her mom for 30-something years, and her mom is one of the most pragmatic people

strong people I've ever known. So it doesn't surprise me at all that she would do that. When I was in high school, she went through cancer and never even missed a day of work. I mean, she was undergoing breast cancer and lung cancer treatments and never missed work.

She is a tough as nails woman. She went out on a limb and did everything that she could. But I just wish that there was some way that we could facilitate her getting the answers that she needs.

And this is where we will pick up next week. We know that Bethany's disappearance occurred just around the time she was making plans with her mother for Thanksgiving. Investigators were able to track Bethany's phone, which was moving through the Asheville area after that time. Then suddenly, everything went quiet. Bethany and her vehicle vanished without a trace.

It wasn't until months later, in February 2022, that Bethany's car was discovered in a grocery store parking lot. But the person who left it there managed to evade detection completely. In part two, we're going to take a closer look at the investigation into what happened to Bethany. Who was she interacting with? Who may have been involved in her disappearance? And what could their motives have been? We'll explore the twists and turns of this mysterious case as we continue digging for the truth.

If you have any information regarding the disappearance of Bethany Collins Buckles, please contact Detective Kevin Taylor from the Asheville Police Department at 828-259-5945. It really surprised me when she did disappear because I always thought she would turn up. I always thought they might find her in Costa Rica. But when things became clear that that wasn't going to happen, for me, you know, this has been really surprising

trying to make her seem a little more human, and remind people that she was loved and that she was just really going through some mental health struggles. I think that will be helpful. She just said that she had confirmation that people were out to get her, and then I should feel free to contact her, which I didn't. So that was the last time I heard from her. And I didn't think about it because I get these emails all the time

And then she disappeared. So I did not follow up and I did not hear that she was missing. What happened there? That brings

That brings us to the end of episode 466. I'd like to thank everyone who spoke with us for this series. If you have a missing loved one that you'd like to have featured on the show, there's a case submission form at thevanishedpodcast.com. If you'd like to join in on the discussion, there's a page and discussion group on Facebook. You can also find us on Instagram. If you like our show, please give us a five-star rating and review. You can also support the show by contributing on Patreon, where you can get early and ad-free episodes.

Be sure to tune in next week for part two of Bethany's story. Thanks for listening. If you like The Vanished, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.

From Wondery and Dr. Seuss, from high atop Mount Crumpet, tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. Tonight's special guest, he's the big mouth behind Big Mouth, and you can see him in the Christmas blockbuster Red One, in theaters and available to stream on Prime Video now, Funny Man News!

Hey, Nicky. How you doing? Good. How are you, Grinch? Oh, I'm pretty good. I'm doing pretty good today, buddy. Are you finding everything okay in here? Yeah, it's been awesome. Thanks so much. This is going to be fun. Yeah, I think we're going to have fun. I'm really excited. I was a little nervous because you're quite an intimidating character, but I feel like we've had some good chemistry here in this pre-interview, and I think it'll be fun. Whoa. All right, let's save it for the interview.

Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.