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Jeff Lewis has issues.
Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis Has Issues. In today's episode, Andy Cohen and John Hill join the show from New York City. We talk about adjoining rooms, sneaking food, and body dysmorphia.
Hey guys, I know you just came from another show. You're already two hours into this, right? We've been recording a lot of shit today. You know what? We did our second annual Whisper Wednesday show today. Trashed. What is that? Where we whisper for the entire hour and everyone who calls in has to whisper and they have to tell us secrets. We got such good secrets. I mean- Yeah.
Really like life-changing secrets from some people. A mom who thinks she's a lesbian. Yes. A mom of four who was like a secret lesbian, a cheater.
All this stuff, but anyway, we trashed our voices a little bit. This is like the walk-in refrigerator at Costco. It's so cold. It is so cold. But I like it. It keeps us awake. It's my favorite department of Costco. I don't. Do you live here now? I'm here for this month. Okay. Are you subletting or something? Yeah. What did you do with your apartment? It's sitting there, getting not used. Getting ash in it. What about your T-Kwan?
- That is parked at Mariah Smith's house. - Oh, okay. - It's a Taos. - Oh, it's a Taos. - He upgraded it. - Oh, I thought you had the Teeq. Oh, it's Julie Cunningham has the Teeq one. - Yes. - Did you ever have a Teeq one? - I, no. - What's a Teeq one? - It's a Volkswagen. - Volkswagen SUV. - Oh, cute. - For lesbians. - I got the exact, once my lease was up, I got the exact same car, but just a little bit upgraded with better wheels and a sunroof. - Oh, good. - They let you upgrade? 'Cause I thought you had a couple dings in your credit when you forgot to make your payments.
No? No. You cleaned it up. No, I cleaned it up. That was in the first year of that lease. So they broke off by the third? No. You don't know this? His car got repossessed. You got repossessed? I was paying my bill every single month. Yes. But my bank account that I had entered was one digit off, so it was never- So you weren't paying your bill every single month? So I wasn't paying it, but I thought I was. That's terrible. And so all of a sudden the car was gone.
But then you had extra money in your account every month. How did you not notice that? I'm not balancing that. I'm just going, yeah, it looks about right. Oh, my God. I imagine after what happened to you, you balance your accounts every day. I don't. But it's funny that you said that because now that Elon Musk has all of our information, I was like, you know what? I just did two-factor authentication. I just...
did some protective measures the other day. I froze my credit score because the minute he took over, it said my security number was on the dark web.
There you go. I check my accounts every day. I check my credit cards every day. Smart. And I've caught fraud so many times. Really? Oh, yeah. I've caught it within like two or three charges and then bam, we shut down the card. Wow. Right, Shani? Yeah. Now, I do need to clarify something because when I checked into my hotel, now I have been there many times. Yes. Most of the time, if I'm bringing Monroe and my hot nanny Lisa, I have an adjoining bedroom. Yes. So I get the suite with the second adjoining bedroom.
So when you book the reservations, I want to be very clear. Yeah.
You booked them. - I did. - So when we checked in, I said to him, I said, "Get a separate hotel room for you and Kian, "and then I'll take my usual, whatever it is, corner suite." So when we checked in, it was adjoining rooms. And these two looked at me like I was some sort of pervert. And I did not-- - Wait, hold on, it was adjoining rooms. Are you not with Monroe this trip? - No. - So the adjoining, hold on, you have an adjoining, hold on, first, hold on, let me unpack this.
- Are Shane and Kian sharing a room? - No. - Well, they have two double beds. - Oh. - Two queens for the two queens. - It's $800 a night. I'm not doing like two rooms for them. - Okay. - Why don't you just get a king bed? Just call it a night. - I'm not a cuddler. - Okay. - Oh. - Not with Kian. - All right. - Well, that's an HR issue, John. - I want it to be very clear.
When I told you to book it, I never said adjoining rooms. - And I didn't ask for adjoining rooms. - Do you feel like they're blaming you for the interest? - He thinks I'm a pervert. - Well, we're gonna blame you for walking into the room at two in the morning. - Wait a minute. - You should go deadbolted. - Did you walk in the room at two in the morning? - Andy, it was not two, and let me explain myself. - It was two. - Did you knock? - It was not two because I went to bed at one. - What were you wearing? - Shorts and a t-shirt. It wasn't like I was naked. - Why did you go in there?
I wanted to tuck him in. No, what happened was, is I was ready to go to bed. Yes. And I thought, I'm going to go lock my door. And I'm glad I did because the deadbolt wasn't locked and that other little latch wasn't locked. And I pressed the privacy button. So that way a housekeeper wouldn't walk in. Right? Right.
So then I thought, oh the boys, I bet they didn't lock their door. - Okay. Well that's a boy issue. You leave that to the boys. - So the door was open, and I noticed the light was on in there. - Oh boy. - So when I walked in, I went under the door, and I deadbolted, and I did the latch, and I pressed the privacy button, and I walked right back to my room. - What were the boys doing when you walked in? - Well I didn't realize, Shane was asleep. - I was trying to be asleep. I was trying to sleep. - Okay.
I thought Kian was asleep, but it turned out he was not asleep. He was lying on his bed while he was FaceTiming some girl. Ew, oh my God. But I didn't know that. I thought he was asleep. You were angry with him this morning because he FaceTimed that girl for how long? Two hours. That is so disrespectful and annoying. If you have a roommate, you don't stay up all night doing that shit. I have to tell you. So Shane and I- Was it sensual?
Something was going on because when we got back at 11 o'clock from Polo Bar, you were sitting in just a towel on the bed FaceTiming her. Slut. Just a towel. What are the HR policies? I mean, what is the setup here?
- Wow, okay, that's kinda hot. - So Kian says this morning, "What were you doing in our room?" And like accusatory, as if I was watching you or something. I just went in to lock the door. I didn't even ask for an adjoining room. - Who knows what your intentions were? You walked in, you saw he was awake, you didn't know that he would be awake, and then you were like, "Oh, I'm locking the door," and then you left.
You're an asshole. I locked my door and then I'm gonna show question. Isn't that a boy issue? No, you know why door is low because I'll tell you why you Robber would have to go through both of them to get to you know it all they do is they walk in and make a left and and they could go right to my room. He's on FaceTime What's the point of me locking my door if they don't lock their door because there's two of them in there You would hear her son is looking for me. No, it's not
I think they're trying to find me. If the person went in and was trying to bludgeon you, you would hear these two being bludgeoned. I'd be like, stop it. They would have to get through me and that's tough. Don't die. That's why I just wanted to make it very clear that I did not ask for the adjoining rooms. I know that. And also when the guy- Well, because you didn't ask for anything because he booked it.
I said book two rooms. I said book me the suite and book you a room. - But no, if he's booking everything, then it shouldn't be any question about what you asked for. - But what you did with those connecting rooms, that's on you. I might have accidentally gotten the rooms, but if you are going through-- - You mean him pitter pattering in your room tonight? - There's two doors, two doors. Mine is open and yours is open. So if you didn't want me in there, close the door.
I think it should be understood that I don't want to end up. - The first order of business on your end is to deadbolt him out. - Yeah, I agree. - Keep her out. - Like first order of business. - I would have closed that door ASAP. - Put a chair up against the handle. - Because by the way, then you don't have adjoining rooms. - Right. - Barricade. - If you both have your doors open, because by the way, Jeff, you could have texted the boys. - Yeah, hey, lock your door. - And said, "Hey fellas, FYI, to lock the door." This is not a big deal.
I don't know why you're making this have to be a big deal. It's only a big deal because you got caught. You thought that you could just sneak on in. Caught doing what? Exactly. That's what we don't know. Did you see me walk in?
Yeah, Kian did. He was away. He's the one who called you out this morning. You thought you got away with it. There's nothing to get away with. I don't know. This makes- You're a peeping Tom. Feels weird. It's okay. Peeping Jeff. Awkward. Well, the guy brings in the coffee every morning. Guy, the boys. No, the waiter or whatever. The waiter. What is that? Bellhop. Okay, whatever. Bellhop. Bellhop.
The stud. The escort. He brings in the coffee in the morning and the three of us are sitting at the dining room table and I can tell he's got lots of questions. I'm sure. I'm sure he does. How much are these boys being paid? Yes. What is the arrangement? Circle jerk.
- Let me ask you guys, so you're now living in New York for the month. Do all these elevators freak you out? I have a fear of elevators. - I never think about it once. - You don't? - I don't think about an elevator one time. - I don't like being in there, 'cause I took an elevator by myself today. - What? - I know. - I'm impressed. - I pressed the button and everything, 36. - Wow. - But yesterday, there was something funky with the elevator in our hotel.
And so I got on at 52, right? We stop at, and with two other people, then we stop at 49 and another guy gets on. This is the New York thing with elevators in the morning at a hotel. You, you have to leave like 30 minutes early because it's like a rush hour in LA. Everyone's getting on at like 9am, 8, 30, 10. And it's, it doesn't matter how nice the hotel. I have a trick because I've been saying that hotel. No. 52 flights. Service elevator.
Oh, we've done that before. Yeah, I always hit the service elevator in addition to the elevator. So that's my hack. Double duty. So I got to 47. Someone else gets on. Door closes. We don't move. Oh. And I said, and so there's five of us in there, all dudes. And I said, oh, okay. I like where this is going. Let's get stuck. And I said. Were you like, hey, I got two boys in my adjoining room. Come on. Take it easy.
- Take it back to '52. - Let's face it, their girlfriend's a jerk. - So I said, "Does anyone feel this moving?" And they're like, "No, it's not moving." - What were you talking about? - And so then I hit it.
But it's interesting how people just don't do shit. They're just sitting there, standing there. Well, there's two types of people, right? Yes. Fixers. I'm very trusting. If I hit the button, that's where we're going to go. I hit the button. The door opens. I hit it again, close, and I press all the buttons with the L and the 4 again. Oh, God. No, because I was going to 8. They were going to lobby. I hit 8. I hit the lobby again. We're sitting there.
And it's not moving. And I said, it's not moving, right? They said, it's not moving. I'm like, I'm getting out. And I hit open and all four of them just follow me.
- You stressed everyone out. You could've stayed on there for 10 extra seconds. - I said, "I'm getting out of here. I don't trust this elevator." So they all follow me, and then I go to the service elevator. They all follow me. It's like sheep. They all follow me to the service elevator. - You're the mama duck. - People want to follow your lead and emulate you. - But how long would they have just been standing there? - Maybe they're here outside the door. - Yeah, exactly. Where are they? - They're in their room sleeping. - Are they seeing anybody? - So you don't get freaked out by these elevators. - I don't think about it.
I do not think about it. It's all I think about. Yeah, I don't... I take the subway. I don't think about that. I take the elevators. I don't... It's not really...
My road rage has transferred to sidewalk rage in New York. It's the same. I get mad at people who can't walk right, who turn their phone. I'm like, who taught you to walk, you fucking dumbass? I walk with purpose, and that's the other thing. Kian, you want to do your fucking impression of me right now? I walk with purpose in New York. I drive with purpose, and I walk with purpose. Yes, that's what you should. Yeah. Go ahead and do your impression, asshole. Oh, he's...
- He was stomping. - Oh my god, he's stomping like a bitchy girl. - That was actually, you could maybe be a little swishier. - I know. - I think it's less, I'm not swishy. I'm not swishy. - No, you're stompy. - Stompy. - I am stompy, you're right. - Stompy, that's funny. - Except for when we were walking home last night and it started to snow and it was icy, so he did have to grab my arm. - Oh, that's sweet. - The whole five blocks. - Oh yeah, I did. When I left, watch what happened live last night. It was snowing, it was pretty.
Beautiful. Although side to silver is going to make fun of me because I mean, I was wrapped up like I was in the middle of Antarctica.
And she's like, what are you wearing? And I had a hat. I had gloves. I had this huge coat. I'm like, it's freezing. It was like 39 degrees. Who did you all have dinner with? I went to Polo Bar with Cy Da Silva and Jen Fessler. Wow. Jen Fessler's a good time. Yeah, she's fun. She's really fun. And then who else was there? Oh, we saw... Dorinda. We saw Dorinda. We ran into her. At a different table. Yes. Okay. And then we saw...
Sydney Sweeney. Okay. We saw, who's the other one? Amanda. Cy Frayden. Yeah, we saw Nick and Vanessa Lachey. We saw Joey Fatone. Wow. It was popping. Yeah. Boy band night at the Polo Bar. It really was. Well, and I had to tell Jen Fessler because he came over, you know, Nick and Vanessa came over and said hi and Joey's with them. Yeah.
So I'd never met Joey and either did Jen Fessler. So then they walk away to their table and Jen's like, I really want a picture with Joey. I'm going to go over. I said, no, you're not. I said, you are not. You are not moving. And Cy's like, I'm not letting you out of this booth. Right. Yeah, you're not going over there. So thank God for us. That's funny. Bye, bye, bye. Do you find, because I was thinking about you guys this morning. So you know how you've got guests on your shows.
and they come in to promote their products, right? I don't let them do that, but yes. We talked about sprinkle cookies for half an hour on Monday. Wow. What's to talk about? Oh my God, Ben would love them.
They are so good. - What, Melissa's sprinkle? I've had them. - They're delicious. - Yeah, they're good. - They show up soft. - What? - They're so fresh. - That's my trademark. It doesn't get hard, that's not the point. - You're not a sprinkle cookie person. - I love sprinkle cookies. - Okay, Teresa. - I've never had a sprinkle cookie. - I love sprinkle cookies.
I thought they were real good. I'm not saying anything about them. I don't know what you talked about for a half an hour about them. They were delectable. They were delicious. Are these the tiny little things? No, they're sprinkle cookies. They're big and soft. They're a good size. They're a good size. I'm sorry.
Anyway, so back to people's products. So the thing is that with listeners, I only promote what I use and really like. And so they trust me. So I use ZipRecruiter. I use Veena. I use Leah Black. I use Books. I do all those. Swiss Army Lube. I don't promote shit that I might personally do not use. Or love. Like when Melissa walked in, no affiliation. Her lips were like...
Big and plump and pretty and glossy. And she goes, oh, I have this lip oil on. And so I'm like, what is that? I want to buy it from Monroe. And then everyone else buys it because I believe in it. You wanted to buy your daughter big puppy lips? Yeah, what? Yeah, she loves, she's got all kinds of makeup. Oh, okay. What was the oil? How old is she? It's number seven.
She's eight. - Okay. Wow. - Yeah. - Okay. - She likes glam. - You don't do that with your kids? Like if I'm walking down the streets of New York, I'm like, "That would be cute for her." Or that would be, you don't do that? - Well yeah, I don't, I haven't explored with makeup with Lucy. She's only three. - Yeah, my three year old would look great with a gorgeous set of succulent lips. - Your lips need to be, yeah, yeah, your lips need to be plump. - You could also use some tits. - Yeah, right? Let's pad that ass.
- And some heels. - She loves a lip gloss, so I thought the lip oil would be perfect. - Yeah, there's no color. - And you like to lip oil, right? - Well yeah, it's for adult ladies. Melissa is a housewife. - Actually, he put it on, it looked great. - It looked really good on me. - No doubt. - It looked really good, it wasn't overly glossy. - Again, you're not eight.
- I feel eight. - Yes. - Shane's a whore. - No, absolutely not. - You don't wanna put your daughter, make her tart it up like Shane. - That's true. - So the point is, then what happens is, when someone comes in with a product-- - That you don't like. - I'm like, this is shit. Like, I can't, I can't promote this. - So what do you do about that? - Well, you don't promote it. And then you get a call.
I think I'm going to get another one now. Thank you. No, we don't know what we're talking about. No one knows what we're talking about. So then you get a call from the team. And why didn't you promote it? You didn't promote it at all.
No, not really. Okay. You mentioned it maybe, no? I mentioned. See, that's enough. Okay. I don't know. Maybe it's a great product. I've never seen it. I've never used it. I don't know. But I can't sell it if I don't believe in it. That's fair. Well, by the way, they're not paying for an integration. I know, but I feel like if you're going to come on the show and you're going to get up this early, well, not here early, but L.A. early, I feel like at least I can do is sell your product. Yes. Well, you could ask a question about it. Could you do that?
Yeah. We could have. I don't think you've done anything wrong. I think people come to your show for entertainment. Is it a housewife? And I think shows like that that are- We're not playing a guessing game. Okay. Stop. Don't answer. Is it not a housewife? Is it eye patches? What? No, those work. They do work. The Leah Black ones. Oh, yeah. I have them in my fridge. How is Leah Black? She's great. I love them. Send her my regards. I will. When do we see her again? I almost DM'd her recently to tell you the truth.
- For what? - That's the truth. - No, I said to tell you the truth, I almost DM'd her recently. I was thinking about her. I met her when she was a juror on the William Kennedy Smith rape trial and I was a producer at CBS and I had to book a juror
And that was the case that she met Roy Black on. And I was thinking about that the other day. I was like, that's crazy. I was in my 20s and that was a big booking for me. I was like, people in New York were like, wow, Andy got a juror. That's huge. And it was Leah who later became a housewife. That's a crazy story. Anyway. That Roy Black was a good get.
Yes, it was. She's smart. Yes. Tie that one up. I gotta get on a jury. I gotta find a husband on a jury. You do my civic duty more often. Yes, John. Are you dating? No. What? No. Why? He's single. You've got your own calendar for fuck's sake. Oh yeah. Do you have that calendar hung up? Several. Well, I have to tell you, when we do games, we,
We give away prizes. - I know Doug won one. - Doug won one. - Yes, God knows what that's been through. - What that's been through. That is terrible. - Yeah, he was really excited. So we've given away two calendars and the first person was very happy about it, but Doug sat there live looking and studying every picture. And there was one where there's VPL. - As soon as he got to April. - There's one which like clear, have you seen it, Kian? - I don't know.
Clear view. Well, don't lie. He doesn't care. Kian does care. No, he doesn't. Okay, fine. Annie, did you see it? Yeah. Oh, no, I'm sorry. And could you pretty much see his dick? For sure. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Wow. I did say to Doug, I was like, you might not want to look. I mean, it's weird. It's kind of weird. Why would Doug not want to look? I don't know. I've seen that shed he has in his backyard. There's two now. Oh, God. Oh, boy. One for the live ones, one for the dead ones. That's been the question. Oh, okay.
One for the live one, one for the dead one. Do you remember how Dahmer almost got caught a few times? Yes. But yeah, that's kind of the situation where he should be in jail, but he's not. Jeff Lewis Live, we'll get a lot of mileage off of that.
Oh, we wound up being a... Oh, we have. And then I could be the juror on that trial and find a husband. No, you wouldn't be a juror. You would be a witness, babe. Oh, yeah. Yes. That's even hotter. Yeah, no. You would be funny. I always think there's something shady with her. Doug is very smart. He covers his tracks. I think it's going to be just one of those serial killers that's never caught.
But you know who is gonna get arrested ultimately, which is gonna be great content for the show, Patryk and Paul. It's just a matter of time. - For what? - Insurance fraud. - Oh really? - Yeah. - Oh okay. - Yeah, I think so. - They either have like the worst luck or they're completely scamming people because they get in car accidents that result in lawsuits every six months. - Really? - Like clockwork. - Interesting. - And their house was robbed. - And then they were robbed in Amsterdam. - Yeah, lot of insurance claims, Andy.
I got to get into that line of business. Sounds fun. Yeah. Oh, and then there's the coffee reads. Of course. So it's a legitimate, I mean, he really is good at this. I mean, reading the coffee. The problem is when you charge your credit card several times. Oh, sorry. Remember the fraud he was talking about earlier in the show? Yeah, so. I got to look at that. I got to have Darren look at my credit cards.
I got rocket money and rocket money will like look at everything you're spending and go hey You have two emails set up to pay New York Times twice a month, so you're paying don't like it'll tell you all the shit That's going on. Oh, that's good. Just Monroe. What has she been buying apps lip gloss She loves an app yeah on her iPad because there's games and then but the thing is you get a free game you get the free Barbie game and then you press and then they want you to subscribe $10 a month to get the next Barbie warehouse and it's like so she's like begging what did you give her an iPad I
Oh, she's had it forever. What? No, like six or seven. What? Six or seven months. Yeah. Ben thinks iPads only work on the plane. That's smart. Our iPads work everywhere. Our's don't. On a plane, on a train. Yeah, but she's been buying a lot of apps, and I said, I don't want to do these subscription services, Monroe, because they're going to charge me forever.
I'll do a one and done, like a 15 buck or whatever, but I'm not doing it. How does she have access to, like, how can she disable those? She has the free versions of the games, which have ads for other free games. So then she comes up and says, can I get this game? It's free. We say, okay, she gets that one, but then she wants to upgrade and upgrade and upgrade, and it goes on forever. You know what she said to me? What? She said, you spent $10.
All of this money bringing me into the world and you can't spend $15 to make me happy. Are you kidding me? Oh, she's smart. Manipulative. Oh boy, you have got a handful. Yep. Wow, I wonder where she got that.
Gage. I mean, yeah. But I was walking, so I've been walking down the streets of New York and I've been looking at all these shops and I thought, it's very tempting. And it's so easy to buy shit here. You don't have to park, you just walk right in. You just grab it and take it. And I just thought, I have a feeling that Monroe and I are going to have many conversations about her credit card bill. Many, many. Well, you already are. I know. Yeah. But you're going to have the same problem.
My kids are going to be on a little bit tighter of a leash, I think. You think? I think so. That Ben, he cracks me up. He's funny. Look, I've always paid attention to your Instagram, but whenever there is a back and forth between you and Ben, I laugh my ass off. That is your karma. He's funny. He's a piece of work. With the eggs the other day. I know.
He goes, your eggs. I go, what don't you like about these? He goes, they're too hard. And then I taste it. I go, these taste great. He goes, maybe we have different tastes. Are you kidding me? The shit he says. I know. He's funny. I know. But you kind of like on one hand, you have to discipline them, right? Because they can be disrespectful. But on the other hand, you kind of giggle.
Oh, 100%. Yeah. Well, I don't have to discipline him for saying that, but I discipline him for plenty. Right. Oh, trust me. But it's the comebacks that I have to turn my head, laugh, and then turn around with a stern face. Yes, exactly. I know it's crazy. I'm sure that Monroe has a sharp wit. Yeah.
She is. I just wish she would be a little bit of a better student. Oh, is that right? Yeah. We're working on it now. Does she have a tutor? She does every Friday now. Okay. Brianna. Okay. And does she respond to that? Just in math and reading. Okay. I'm really proud of her. She got an A in dance. It's the only A. Wow. Yeah. The iPad's the problem. She spends too much time on the iPad. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Grandpa. Give her a book. Give her a book.
This is why I would never have kids. Because of iPads? Read the book Sarah Plain and Tall from cover to cover and then start over again when you're done. See, you don't give a shit. I didn't really care about grades until now. It's like second grade. All right, you got to start getting serious here. Yeah. Right. But who cares before? You're happy with her school. Can she read? Love her school. Yeah. And she loves her school. Yeah. When did she start reading? I mean, kindergarten or-
I think she was a little behind. A little after that. Okay. I would say first grade. Okay. Second semester. She's doing well now, though. Yeah, she is. She can read. But we do it. Watching Ben sound out words. It's so cute. I know. I know. Lucy gave me a valentine that said, be mine. And he picked it up today. He goes, where did this come from? What is this? I go, Lucy gave it to me. He goes, be...
And he's like, you know, trying to do it. And he was like sounding it out. I was like, oh, this is so cute. I wanted to get my camera. I was like, I go, let's sound it out. He's like, man, it was very cute. I'll tell you what's helped me a lot because she won't, she doesn't really want to read. So we sit down and you have to force it. Now all I do is I go to like Apple TV.
And I'll find, I know this sounds weird, but it works. I'll find a show she likes. And then you put the subtitles on? We read, so like episode one, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Episode two, she'll need the episode descriptions. Oh, wow. And it works. Oh, wow. Because she's interested in it. Does that count?
- It counts for words. - Yes, that does. If that teaches her to read, it counts. - No, I feel like it's not like a story. Like, you don't learn, like, beginning and end and-- - Listen, if she's sounding words out and doing it, then it counts. - Who cares? - Yeah. - Reading is reading. - Does she know how to use chat GPT? - What? - 'Cause I can just read for--
Chat GPT. Yeah, that'll read for her. AI. You don't know what chat GPT is? Yes. No. What? Oh my God, I thought you would be like the queen of that. Chat? I don't even know what that is. What are you talking about? Think of some shit for me and then it does. Oh no. I thought this was all chat GPT. No. Oh wow, that's all from your brain? I can't show him chat GPT because I'll lose my job. Why are you so shocked this is from my brain? No, it's not.
I don't use it. I just feel like people who are smart and have not a lot of time because they have businesses and things. You know what? It will answer specific questions. Yeah. Yes. So did you see her the other day? So she does the half an hour of reading. Then I have another workbook, a math workbook. It was not assigned. I just bought it separately. Okay.
So she comes in. She's like, can I get my workbook? I said, yeah. Then I watch her. She reaches and gets a calculator. I said, I said, what are you doing? I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wow. She just kind of subtly just grabbed my calculator. Wow. Oh, boy. I know. That's interesting. I know. But I'm really I'm already starting with which you have to do this with your kids.
She's got to tell me the truth, right? And I really, I'm very calm in my reactions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you have to be. Yes. So I'm letting her open, to be open and honest with me because I don't think she's totally truthful with her other dad. Right. Because he punishes her and he's very strict. Right. But I always want her to tell me the truth. Ben's been telling, Ben's like, you know, daddy, I steal chocolate from-
And I hide it in my room. And after you go to bed, I eat the chocolate. He goes, but I'm telling you the truth, daddy. And I'm like, okay. Like, how am I going to? I'm like, okay. Good that you told me this. He goes, are you happy I told you? I'm like, yes.
She's been, Monroe's been sneaking jelly beans and a lot of them. They're on the kitchen counter for everybody. All my kids. That's, I had to move. I had a huge jelly bean jar. That's the problem. All your kids? Did you just say? Kian, Annie, Shane. All the kids. The boys. Yeah. And Annie. Boys. I have two daughters. He bribes them with candy. I have two boys, two girls. That's cute. And so now what I do is, and she's responding to, it's the Lewis way, the sarcasm where you just,
terrorize them with sarcasm. So she's like, "Can I please have some scrambled eggs? Hey, you want some jelly beans on that?" And so everything, like I bring up jelly beans, so she's like, "Okay, I get it, I know. I'm supposed to have the jelly beans."
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Thank you.
Kevin Hart here. This basketball season, Chase Freedom Unlimited is helping me cash back on everything, even the sound system that auto-tunes the game. Curry from way back.
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So now you don't necessarily have to buy the gold package or the platinum package. You can buy a simple general admission. You are shilling these tickets. And then what I strongly suggest is, you know, it's like an a la carte situation. Do $250 for the cocktail party and then do $250 for the after party. Oh, that's good. So you can kind of choose the events you want to go to. Yes. Let me tell you something. First of all, that promo was great. Second of all, I am so excited that
that you're doing this. And I think it's so cool. And I really want to congratulate you because you built something really great. Thank you. And the fact that you're doing that, it's really great. And I think it's going to be so fun and people are going to lose their minds. And it's great. And I think it's also really smart. And this is...
a reason why people should buy tickets because what I have a feeling, what I know will happen is this year is the beta test for ChumpCon. - Yes. - That's huge. - And so you are doing it
And people should get involved now who are thinking about it because next year it will happen and it's going to be bigger. You're exactly right. And next year people will say, wow, people will be very happy next year. This is great. But there will be a chatter among the people who were there year one because they will say, wow, it was so intimate. We really got in on something, whatever. So,
Just having seen how we rolled out BravoCon and how it was, the first year was pretty small in New York and it was deliberately so, so that Bravo could kind of figure out how to do it, whatever. You guys, it's going to be great. It's going to be great. You have actually hit the nail on the head. It's going to be very, very intimate. We were expecting around between 350 and 450 people. That's not a lot. And with all of those events, you're going to get profanity.
personalized attention from the chumps. It's gonna be great. But you're right, next year it becomes 1,000 people. It'll be more affordable, but you're not gonna have the kind of time, the access. - The one-on-one with Doug to grope you. - No, we're trying to sell tickets. However, we are, so there's been some growing pains here.
So you're figuring it out. And the big thing is we still don't have insurance, but we're going to get it. Okay. Um, we have, have, we got turned down again. Get it. Yeah. They'd be good with that. Yeah. They don't take their calls anymore. They'll do your, no, no insurance company is going to touch them with all the claims they have. But, um, the, the, the latest turndown was because, and this is, you're going to laugh at this. It's why did they want the list of people that were going to be there? Yeah. Because they're smart.
Oh, okay. They said, we're not going to insure you because of high status individuals. I'm like, they're chumps. I was like, what's that? Who's high status? No, no, no. Not high status. Who's high status? That's so funny. Shane Douglas, Joey Southend. It's the very opposite.
That's what I thought. Accident prone. That's really true. Oh, where do people go, by the way? Because it's confusing. Messy Boots. Oh, yeah. How do people buy tickets? That's the problem. It's all on Jeff's Instagram or rwlasvegas.com. Click on experiences. Click on Jeff. Or I put it all on your tree on the Instagram. My link tree. Your link tree. Oh, okay. That's good. And can people find your OnlyFans there too, Jeff? Yeah.
- You know, that window, I think that ship has sailed for me. Only fans. We were talking about this, my daughter has the same thing. In my head, I'm hotter than I really am. Are you that way at all? - No, I'm not hot at all in my mind. - Really? - Yeah. - See, I'm just the opposite. - People with bodies like John have body dysmorphia. - I have dysmorphia. - I have body dysmorphia also. - I have face dysmorphia also. - What? - But I still, I have everything.
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Kevin Hart here. This basketball season, Chase Freedom Unlimited is helping me cash back the sound system that auto-tunes the game. Curry from downtown! Chase Freedom Unlimited. How do you cash back? Restrictions and limitations apply. Cards are issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member FDIC.