Bob the Drag Queen & Zach Noe Towers: Matcha & Twinkdom
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I've learned from my mistakes, and that's what I want to teach people. Don't do what I have done. This show, I mean, you guys really start some shit. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as an asshole. I just want people to do their jobs. Jeff Lewis has issues. Hey, it's Jeff Lewis, and I have issues. In today's episode, Bob the Drag Queen and Zach Noe Towers join the show. We talk about Bob's matcha order, Shane's twink status, and Zach's experience having Bob as a roommate.

You got the day correct. I did. I did. So I'm actually really good at – Zach can attest. I'm pretty good at showing up to everything when I need to. You're punctual. And I live by the calendar. I live by the calendar. Someone asked, what are you doing? I don't know. Before I go to bed, I check the calendar. This is Bob with Drag Queen talking. I check the calendar. No one's getting you. Thought it was Shane. Someone thinks Zach's doing a black scent. Okay.

I checked the calendar before bed, then I woke up, and then somehow I skipped to the next day, and I was like, what the, like, this is crazy, what the fuck. So I called Shane, and I was like, I'm on the way, I'm 10 minutes away, I don't know what happened. And he was like, girl, what?

Now, our question is that you called at 8.48 a.m., and we are live at 9. Were you indeed in the car, or were you at home? No, but I was actually 10 minutes away. He lives so close. But you were at home. Yeah. So close. So you were not technically on your way. No, I said I'm 10 minutes away. I didn't say I'm on the way. I said I'm 10 minutes away. 10 minutes away. Okay. So you would have just, you think, man, you would have been probably a few minutes late. Yeah, skin of my teeth. Can I talk about something in the intro that really stood out when Jeff Lewis' live interview

Everyone's on edge. That's crazy. It's the most accurate way to describe the show. No one's comfortable when Jeff Lewis is on the airwaves. That's actually pretty accurate. It's so accurate. They've never changed that copy in six years because it's still cracked. Yeah. Now, Bob the Drag Queen. You're the Miranda Priestly of Syria. When is the last time you had a brown sugar and cinnamon pop tart?

I'm going to say maybe I must have had one on set somewhere. So it's probably been a little over a year, probably. How good are they? It's good. It's the second best Pop-Tart.

What's the first? The first best Pop-Tart, and hear me out, y'all. I don't want to hear no bibbidi-bop-boop. You take your, the OG. Strawberry? The strawberry frosted Pop-Tart. You put it in the freezer. Yeah. What? I can attest a frozen Pop-Tart's fucking delicious. Do you add a little ice cream into a Pop-Tart sandwich? Let's make it. Okay, you eat one egg. You're not putting ice cream. Okay.

You're so right, Bob. Shane, you're not putting ice cream on your Pop-Tart, okay? I'm just curious. The fact that you ate a- No, he's like, no, bitch, you would put ice cream on your Pop-Tart. I didn't say me, I said do you. And I actually am curious, do you split a hard-boiled egg with Annie? It comes with a two-pack, so she has one and I have the second. And I noticed you put a little sea salt on it. Yeah, it comes with this gorgeous flaky salt, and you just crush it up in your fingies.

- It's crazy. - Once a week we put hot sauce on it. - Oh, just once? Y'all, I am surrounded by white people! What hot sauce are you putting on it? - The one at the place, it's Frank's. - Oh, Frank's. It's delicious. - You like Sriracha? - Yeah. - You like Cholula? - Yeah. - Okay, nice. - But what day do you decide?

I'm kidding. We just, whenever they have it. But you use the flaky sea salt. Oh, of course. Okay. Is it because two eggs is too much? Yeah. I couldn't possibly eat two eggs. Couldn't possibly eat two eggs. I could barely eat the one. Y'all are, y'all. Oh.

We all have eating disorders. - I'm on Ozempic and I can eat more than that. It's just crazy. - Are you on Ozempic, really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was on it, then off it for like four months. Now I'm back on the sauce, honey. - Now what I'm concerned about is that you and I split Pop-Tarts this morning, right? So I had one, you had one. - I doubled back. - But then I noticed you grabbed a whole 'nother two pack. - Yeah. - And you put it in your bag. When are you planning on eating it? - Well, I already ate one. I'm already one down.

I'm already one down. Bob is like a famous snacker. His offices in Burbank were stocked. Wait, offices? Burbank? What? I'm impressed. He has like a four studio setup in Burbank. It's very cool. Yeah, you should come away. I will say, Bob, I was like, how does this guy make money? And then- I'm going to come

Because I was just curious. I had no idea. And so I'm like, I know he was on RuPaul's Drag Race. I think it was season eight and you won. And then, of course, I knew that you I know that you had you were doing some stand up. But I was like, how does this guy make money? So then when I when I started looking at the package because they were pretty professional here, Jameson does a little research.

I didn't realize you're an actor. Yeah, exactly. We're going to talk about that. You're an actor. You're a podcaster. You're a stand-up comedian. You're a musician. You're a writer. Producer. It's crazy. So, I mean, so I've been doing stand-up comedy for about 16 years now. I have been, I'm also, I toured with Madonna for two years.

I had my own TV show on HBO for three seasons. New York Times bestseller. New York Times bestseller. I had no idea. Yeah. I do the things I love, and then luckily I could find ways to make money doing those things. So were you ... Oh, let's go back to the matcha order. Yeah. Okay, so Annie ... I'm just going to be honest with you. Okay. I get out of the elevator, and Annie looked a little ... She was a little perturbed, let's say that. She's like, Bob.

- Annie's face right now. - Bob wants a second matcha lemonade. And I go, "Really?" She goes, "Do I have time to go get it?" 'Cause she wanted me to say no. - Annie! - And I go, "Yeah, you have time, just be quick." And then I said, so then I came in, I'm like, "Bob, two matchas." And then you said, "Well,

Actually, yes, which was fine, but Annie was under the impression that you wanted a double. The way that you said it in the text. I'll read the text. Please read the text. I'll read the text to you all. Because, Annie, I think you've been vindicated because I looked at the text and it is confusing. So, Annie, let's start with Annie's phone number. 555-

Annie says, hi, this is Annie from Jeff Lewis. I make a coffee run every morning before the show. Let me know if you want any food, drinks, whatever. Can I go through the whole, so then Annie sends me the website. And then this is the website she sent. So I went looking through the website. It says a very popular coffee shop nearby. But the website, it was, it's just bags of coffee. What?

Like bags of beans. I will take a pound of the blonde roast. It's like merch and bags. And I was like, no. And so I responded and I said, can I get two matcha lemonade bags?

And I meant to say lemonades. And I said, the website only has bags of coffee. And then I said, they don't have that, then one black coffee. So that's what the whole thing says. Yeah, two, he didn't say double. You know what I mean? He said two matcha. It's confusing because it didn't say, yeah. Lemonade isn't plural though. But I was using the swipe testing. And who needs two drinks? Two people. Two people.

It's true. No one's ever ordered two drinks, right? But no one orders a double and says, can I get two espresso? I don't know you. But like, that would be crazy. Can I get... Feeling bold. I would say she was very kind this morning. I don't know. Annie, are you okay? Are you? Not right now.

I like you, Annie. We're good now, but the beef is squashed. Good. But I did kind of want to get her in trouble. That's why I wanted to see the text. So I was kind of disappointed that it was a miscommunication. I was like, fuck, I got to be on Team Annie on this one. It was low-key me. Low-key me. But Annie, me and Annie are cool. So you live 10 minutes away. Yeah. Hollywood? Yeah, well, I technically live in WeHo, but I tell everyone I live in Hollywood.

Why? WeHo is more exclusive. It's because when you travel, more people know Hollywood than WeHo. Like when you're outside of LA. Wouldn't you just say West Hollywood when people know? But then I think you're talking about the West part of Hollywood. Because people, like everyone isn't, like WeHo is not, it's not what everyone thinks it is. Like people know WeHo, like the gays. But once you're talking to the gays, they'll be like, oh, West Hollywood. People think that like East New York is the East part of New York City. They don't know that East New York is a town in New Jersey.

So when you're in the New York area, you can say East New York, but people who don't live in the area don't know. So I just say I'm in Hollywood. And I'm also, I am on the, you know how La Brea separates Hollywood from WeHo? Yes. I am like a stone's throw from La Brea. La Brea in what?

I'm going to dox myself. Well, I'm not going to say what street. Just give me a major cross street. She's very north. Yeah, I'm like, oh, yeah. Like Hollywood? I'm up near Hollywood, yeah. Sunset? Yeah. That's a great location, actually. The best location. Centrally located. But, yeah, I think West Hollywood is- Wait, now we've got to give your cross streets. Give me something near your cross streets. We've got to even the playing field here. Fine. We'll say Beverly and Highland. Oh! Oh! Oh!

- Yes honey, you heard that honey? Wow, she could eat eight eggs in this economy if she wanted to. - Three matchas and three matcha lemonades. - You guys should say that you're splitting eggs because of the prices. You should say it's 'cause of the economy. - It's the bird flow, it's the tariffs. - There it is, yeah. How did you meet Zach? 'Cause Zach referred you to us. - Yes. - Which I'm not gonna thank you yet. - You're welcome, you're welcome! I've referred some epic people to this show.

Are you kidding me? Name them. Who? Miss Pat. Oh, yeah. Love. Lunel. Love. Nikki Paris. Love.

Isn't that enough? That's enough. You've done enough. You don't have to prove yourself. But then Bob. You're right. Bob will give you a run for your money, which I'm excited. Zach is so well connected. Zach is low-key a comedy socialite. Zach also helps me book for my show that's coming out soon called The Big Question on my YouTube page. Zach actually helps me book that as a friend. He's literally just sending me names, not charging anything.

You know what? You said comedy socialite. I absolutely agree. Everybody, well not everybody, but most people love you. Most people love you. Zach is very beloved. The people that don't love you don't love anybody. You know what I'm saying? And no one likes them. They don't love themselves. That's true. That's true. But you are a comedy socialite. Yeah. So I met Zach Noe Towers on a cruise ship maybe 12 years ago. Yeah, probably.

Probably 10 or 11, but yeah. This was before I was on Drag Race. He was still a twink at the time. Say love you. Sorry. In his twink death era, to be clear. Oh, for sure. Gasping my last breaths of twinkdom. Sunsetting, for sure. White Claw. By the way, this is literally, it was literally before White Claw. Oh, it was before White Claw. Yeah, this is for Loco, please. Okay.

And so I was hosting this comedy show and doing my own solo show on the cruise ship. And then I just hit it off with him. He was just so funny. It was like a daddy cruise. Like it was a- An older gay cruise. Yeah. So like, I know what a daddy is. Okay. Well, you look confused, Grandpa. I was like, how does Jeff Lewis not know what a daddy is? This is crazy. Okay.

But anyway, so we were two of the younger people on the crew back then. Imagine. We were two of the younger people on the crew. Spring chickens. And we connected. They were working Bob's ass on this cruise. But Bob's solo show, she was supposed to do like three. They added a fourth because they were packed and like standing room only, standing ovations. They were supposed to be like an hour. People insisted they go for like an hour and a half, two hours.

And I will say the coolest moment on this ship was Kathy Najimy was also performing on it. Do you know her? Yeah. You should have her on. She's great. After she saw Bob's show, we were all at dinner, and she took out her satellite phone. You missed the best part. The best part is where Kathy Najimy, after my final show, where it was like literally

literally five standing ovations and encores. I was like, they would not let me get off stage. And this tiny little lesbian named Bunny, who was in the front row, was like going crazy for me. And then I got off stage and Kathy and Jimmy grabs my hand and she goes, meet me by the french fries. That's my favorite part, meet me by the french fries. So we go upstairs, I go, oh my God, Kathy and Jimmy wants me to meet her by the french fries. So we go upstairs and Kathy pulls out her phone and she goes, one second, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. And then whoever it is doesn't answer the phone. And she goes, RuPaul,

I am sitting with the next winner of your show. You need to call me back. No. And then hung up. And then I won the next season. You won the next season. Wow. She got you on RuPaul. I'm a nipple baby. Wow. That's incredible. Rigged election. You know, Kathy and Jimmy. And then RuPaul actually came. This is really rare. RuPaul actually came to my show before I was on Drag Race, tweeted about it.

Just like tweeted, like, I'm at Bob the Drag Queen's show. She came into the bar, and she goes, is Bob the Drag Queen performing tonight? And everyone's like, oh, my God, RuPaul just showed up at the bar. She was like, don't tell anyone. I just want to – I don't want anyone to know that I'm here. Immediately this faggot goes downstairs and tells everyone, Bob the Drag Queen, RuPaul's here. RuPaul's here. RuPaul's here. RuPaul's here. RuPaul's here. And RuPaul is not inconspicuous. RuPaul's 6'4".

wearing a huge orange puffer coat and this fuzzy bucket hat and sitting in the back corner. And I go to the DJ. I say, you see that person in the corner? That's RuPaul. He goes, oh, my God. So he hits Sistah Walk. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. The crowd goes up. They don't know RuPaul's there. The crowd goes up. We started doing this. Everyone starts runway walking. And RuPaul actually tweeted. She was like, I was in the club last night. They were all getting their life to Sistah Walk, and no one even knew I was in the room.

And then I got a text from this company called The Casting Firm. I don't know if they still work with Drag Race or not, but they were the casting company that did RuPaul's Drag Race. And they texted me, they were like, you should audition for RuPaul's Drag Race. And I was like, you guys reached out and said that last year and nothing happened. And they were like, no, girl, you should audition this year. Trust me. And then RuPaul showed up and I was like, okay, I'll do it. I'll audition.

Wow. You never know who's going to open doors for you. I need to start being nicer to people. Literally. I don't see it for you. Just do your thing. Do your thing. But then how did you end up on Traders? Oh, they just called me. Yeah, they just reached out to my management and they were just like, I was on tour with Madonna and-

I think I was in- Were you dancing for Madonna? Or were you opening as a comedian? He's the MC of the show. Got it. I hosted Madonna's 40-year retrospective tour. Got it. Okay. I was actually just watching TV. Grandpa didn't know. No.

About Madonna. Are you not a Madonna girlie? No, I like Madonna, but I didn't know what your role was with her. So you didn't come see the Kia Forum? Wow. I'm sorry, Bob. Madonna fans aren't what they used to be. This is crazy. But, yeah, I hosted her show. We co-hosted together. And I think I was maybe in Atlanta or somewhere when I either got the call or I confirmed or I was like, all right, I'm doing, I'm going to go do The Traitors. Which actually, it was an actual crazy time in my life. It was epic.

Honestly, genuinely insane. 2024 was crazy for me. So my house burned down in January, on January 10th. What? My house burned down, my house in Atlanta that my family lived in. And then my mom passed away on Mother's Day. And then...

I went and did Traders two weeks after my mom passed away. So my mom passed away on Sunday. The next Sunday we had her funeral. The next Sunday I went and did the Traders. Like, I literally. So if y'all see me on the Traders acting crazy, I wasn't acting. I was dead ass serious. How did you like to work with Brittany Haynes?

She's the one from Big Brother. Yes. You know, I don't think Brittany likes me, to be honest. I'll ask her. And I didn't really connect with Brittany that much, to be honest. But I remember at the reunion, we were in the elevator, and I was still in face, but wearing a tank top and just kind of walking around, just kind of getting my bearings and leave the hotel. And I was like, Brittany, did you have fun? And she was like, no. That was horrible. And I was like, oh.

I was like, oh, okay. And she was like, people were coming for me. I mean, I'm people. I did come for her during the reunion. But I just was like, I just want to talk about this thing that you did that seemed, you know, not necessary. But I just remember her being like, that was not fun. I did not like it. And she didn't say me specifically, but she was like, I didn't know people were going to like,

address things that we did in the castle. I was like, what do you think a reunion is? This is where you address things that happen in the castle, Mary. So she was upset about the reunion, but not upset about the whole experience. Well, I was asking her specifically about the reunion. Yes. And I haven't spoken to her outside of the show or in that one time in that one time in the hallway. We should put them on together.

She's going to be here in two, three weeks. I mean, I'll leave her. So I'll swing back by. But I like, I mean, for the most part, I like, we didn't really connect in the cast. I really had a connection with like Danielle Reyes, Dylan Efron,

Gabby, Wendy, although it was never shown, and Bob Harper. They were the ones that I really connected with. He could stop by because he's only 10 minutes away. He's right there on La Brea and Hollywood. Oh my God. You're so, yeah, it's that. You just watch. And y'all just, you know, everyone just go over to fucking Beverly and Hillside or Highland and just open your grinder and you'll find this queen. Look for a girl with one matcha lemonade and see where she's headed.

So when you were on Traitors, you were chosen as the traitor, like right at the beginning, correct? Yeah. Yeah, first episode. Now, you seemed adamant about removing the housewives. Yeah. There was four housewives. I stand by it, too. I'll do it again. Why? Okay, this is my reasoning. So the Big Brother people don't like each other. The Survivor people don't like each other because all of them have actually crushed each other's dreams of making a million dollars or more.

They have actually actively participated in stopping the person. They all come with built-in drama. They're going to hate each other. Survivors do not trust each other. I knew this because I was working with one survivor, Caroline, and she could not stand the other survivors. None of them trusted Tony Vlachos. They trusted Jeremy, but...

But then also the Big Brothers, they also did the same thing. But the Housewives, they have no actual animosity revolved around crushing each other's dreams. Yeah, they're catty on TV, but the Housewives are actually really, from my experience, I don't know much, I don't watch the show, but they are really good at like fighting you and then like being chill when the cameras are off.

Right. They live in the moment. And they're not acting. Those are their real feelings. But they're really not taking it personal. So they're aligned. And they would help each other. I believe so. And they have done it every other season. That's an interesting theory. Except for when Pager was knocking them off because she was a traitor. But they will stick together. The housewives are mafioso. They fucking stick together. Yes, they do. Especially Dolores, who's like literally mafioso. That's not an actual implication. But she's like, you know, she's got the bravado. She's got the whole, yeah, Jersey thing going on.

I'm like, they're going to stick together, so we got to get rid of them.

And my goal was to murder women in the night and banish men to their faces. Like, I wanted to scream at men and yell at them and belittle them. And just quietly betray women. And quietly betray women. Yeah, that was my goal. Oh, okay. Gay dream. Interesting strategy. Now, how did you guys end up as roommates, you and Zach? Well, I was renting a... Yeah, I was a transition pad for Bob. Bob was a New York girly. I had a two-bedroom. Bob...

Wanted to transition to LA For the most part Can I say one part That might be a little shady Yeah do it Zach had a roommate That he didn't like Yeah that's true And I manifested That it would crumble It was crazy He came over one day And my roommate was in his room Being a cunt And Bob Points to the room And he goes

And I was like, okay. I was like, I'm going to have to get you. And then literally two months later, I was at my wit's end with the roommate and I kicked him out. You kicked him out. Why? What did he do? It was a lot of things. And was Bob any better? No. Yes, I was. I know.

We had one fight one time. Living with a drag queen is crazy though. First tell us what was the problem with the old roommate. The old roommate was like a rich kid who didn't know how to do. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. There should be a reality show. Live with Jeff Lewis for a month. See how far people make it. No one makes it. Everyone's like three days max. It's traitors. He was bad. He like never made a security deposit. And then like he wouldn't clean. And I was like, I feel like I'm doing all the cleaning. He's like, well, I don't touch anything. Like it was like crazy stuff like that. I'm like, I literally can't live with you. And he was like a really good painter. And I was in talks with buying a painting for him. And then I can't nip.

that in the bud. And I was like, Zach, I still want to get a painting. Zach was like, absolutely not. No. And I was like, you know what, that's fair, I'll get a painting for some time. And then Bob was an incredible roommate. And we're incredible friends and it made us, I think, better friends. I agree. How long did you live together? Like, actually living in a space, I mean, I was bouncing back and forth. It was a year, the whole time was a little over a year. But we were actually living in the same apartment for maybe like five, six months. Yeah. Is it Kyla or Kyle?

Kyla. Okay, line one. Hi, Kyla from Pasadena. She has a question. Hi. Hello. I've listened to you both on podcasts and stuff. First off, Bob, I'm a major bobblehead. Oh, thank you. And I'm also a chomp, so this is like two of my worlds colliding. I'm so excited. But I know you guys have been roommates, but

also know you guys are notoriously slutty. So I want to know how many times you guys hooked up. No, she's right. We are both notoriously slutty. We are proudly. We have never hooked up. I think we've seen each other very much as siblings in that way. Like we're very family. But

We have wanted to do this for a while. And I think it needs to happen at some point. Oh, do what? Okay, this is an R-rated warning. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Zach. Jeff, let it happen. Let it happen. Okay. Ease yourself. But Bob will tell us. So Zach and I...

Well, I think Zach has... Zach is now kind of afraid because I'm very braggadocious. Yeah, I am afraid. 923. And now Zach's afraid that he's not gonna... Maybe he just used the clinical terms. Kyla called us sluts a second ago, okay? Okay.

Kyla fully just slut shamed us. What did you really not want us to say? I don't know. I just worry how graphic this is going to get. I'll make it easier. Thank you. So Zach and I have both bragged about being able to fellate very well. The art of fellatio. Okay. Okay? Art. The art. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, for some of us, it's a fine art. For some of us, it's kind of like, you know, a cartoon network. But like an Ed and Eddie drawing. Okay. Okay.

And so we want to have a competition. We need to get someone to be the adjudicator. And we're going to fillet them. And we're going to get rated and find out who did a better job. I see.

- So the phone lines are open? - I imagine we'll get a lot of volunteers. - Kyla. - Have we ever, we've never announced it publicly. Have we ever announced it publicly? - I don't think so, but we do talk about it a lot. - But I just met your boyfriend, who is in the green room. - Yeah. - Does he have an issue with this? - I-- - Have you ever discussed it with him? - Tao, can you look over here and give me a thumbs up or a thumbs down? - Tao's like the nicest, sweetest guy. - Thumbs up. - He's with it. - Give him a thumbs up. - Oh, okay. He's with it, yeah. Okay. - Yeah.

You would never. Interesting. Wow. Are you one of those traditional gays chasing that hetero lifestyle? Jeff has a Handmaid's Tale character. Jesus Christ. Okay, let's go back to your earlier years. You grew up in Georgia. Mm-hmm. And your mom, is it true that your mom owned a house?

owned a drag bar? Yeah, it was called Sensations in Columbus, Georgia. And everyone always asked me, what's it like? I was like, I never went to the club when I was a child, so I wasn't allowed in the club when it was operating, obviously. But I was there during the daytime when they were cleaning up and stuff like that. But I did actually once work at the club. My mom couldn't get a babysitter, and I was sitting outside the club, so I wasn't in the club. I was in the ticket booth taking money.

So I had to like, but my mom turned off all the lights and you just see my hand come out and take money and then give change. I just have this memory of like having to sit in the shadows and doing math and like crunching numbers and there was no, there was no like machine. It was like literally like me counting money. The calculator. I probably fucked up so much money. I was, I was like, I think I'm even like 10 or 11 years old. So I definitely gave someone way too much money or way too little money or something for sure. How long does she own the bar?

She opened it up with a bunch of lesbians, and then all the lesbians kind of started slowly fading away, and she would just buy their chunks, which makes my mom sound like a corporate monster like Jeff Bezos, but I swear these women were leaving willingly. And I think it was maybe somewhere between three and five years she owned this place. As the bar got more fun, more lesbians dropped out of it. Oh, my God.

You're wild. But yeah, so my mom owned that bar. I grew up all over the South. I grew up in Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi. We moved a lot. But growing up around this drag bar, did that influence you? Did that shape you into who you are today? Did you hang around a lot of drag queens? No, I didn't hang around any drag queens. I remember my mom's friend Sidney used to actually, I remember him telling me that drag queens are dangerous because he got shot by a drag queen one time.

One time. One time. Thank you. One time. Sidney got shot in the parking lot of my mom's nightclub because he, I guess he went. Didn't tip. Yeah. He got the wrong change back at the booth. And then she pulled out a gun and she shot him and she shot him. And he was, she grazed him in her defense. Okay. He didn't even have to go to the hospital. So she just wanted to scare him. Yeah.

I don't know that her aim was good enough to graze. I think that she was aiming to wound. Oh, I see. Okay. She got what she got. You know what I mean? And also, once you shoot, obviously everyone starts running everywhere. So, like, your aim is all off because now everyone is madness. Have you ever been in a shooting?

No, Bob, I have not. No? I've never been in a shooting. I've been at two. Not yet. I was at the Vegas shooting, and I was at the Gilroy Garlic Festival shooting. I'm starting to think you might be... I'm good luck, honey. The one. I'm still standing. The one that's doing the shooting.

- Oh. - Isn't that crazy? - Yeah, it is kinda crazy. - Really? - Yeah. - It's madness. It's chaos. - Yes. - Everyone is running everywhere, 'cause no one, you kinda hear the gun echo, but you can't really tell where it's coming from because it's bouncing off every wall, so you're just running in any direction you can and trying to get underneath stuff. So obviously the queen couldn't get a clean shot on Sydney.

But anyway, so I was scared of drag queens. I can understand the fear of drag queens now. So I was scared of drag queens for a while. But then I have a gay uncle. I have a lot of gay – my family's very gay. My mom's gay. My uncle's gay. I have a gay cousin. I have a gay, like, younger cousin, like my cousin's son. There's a dog that's questioning. Yeah, for sure. For sure. So I have a very queer family. Is it that dog that he brought? I don't know. That's a gay-ass little dog. Cody's pretty gay. Yeah, Cody's pretty gay. Your dog is gay.

Cody's not my dog, but I do have a lot of pride in Cody. Cody's my partner's dog. But Cody has like, I think Cody's like, Cody low-key thinks that I'm like his dad now. One of his dads. I think. Because the other day, Cody was scared of something. He ran to me. But why do you think he's gay? Cody. Cody just gives off gay vibes. Cody gives off twink vibes. Scared twink. Not a sassy twink. Like a scared, shaking twink. Speaking of scared, shaking twink. So Shane is 28 years old.

When is, is he kind of now graduating from the twink era? He's still a twink.

Because I was telling him his window's closing this morning. Well, twinkdom comes in a couple of ways. You know what I mean? There are a couple of ways to get out of your twinkdom, and they're not all voluntary. Some of them just happen. One of them is gaining weight. I went to the gym last night. One of them is growing body hair. He doesn't have a lick of it on him. The other one is aging. I won't. I will tell you two this. If you're tall, your twink years are shorter. Being tall will just take away some of it because then you become something called what I call a tarantula twink.

Nick is a tarantula twink. These giant, tall, skinny, six foot four guys. Yeah. The Tim Burton twinks. Yeah, running around terrorizing the town. Like, who wants this? Also like- The New York Giants? I don't know. Working for Jeff Lewis will also take the sparkle out of a twink's eyes. Yes, it's true. Yeah, every time you get younger- I suck the life out of them. You do. I've aged 10 years in the five years. Yes. And I've just gotten better looking. Yeah.

Just like I've never gotten a work done. I just keep sucking the life out of these boards. Wait. Chain has like a USB plug in the back of his lower back.

How old are you? I'm 28. I mean, how tall are you? I meant. 5'11". 5'11". Yeah. I will say this. I'm border. Honestly. I think of you as my height. Isn't that crazy? How tall are you? 5'9". I think two more years, right? Yeah. I would give you five years max. Oh, really? Depending on what you do with your hair. Sure. Do you grow a beard? No. No? That's going to give you. I can, but I won't.

- Like you can grow a full beard. - I never have, but I can get a little hair. - I bet it's patchy. - You would know if you can grow a full beard. - And it's gonna be a blonde beard, which I don't, sorry Zach, I don't love blonde beards. - What? - I think Zach's blonde beard looks really good. - Thank you. - It looks really nice actually. - Also you know what's so crazy? I'm approaching 40 and I still get straight-- - Approaching, we're rounding down. - Hey. - From which direction?

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I do want to promote, you've got a couple shows coming up, Bob. You've got June 3rd in Los Angeles, Girls, Gays, and Theys. And Zach, you are also a part of that show. Yeah, it's Bob and I's show. Oh, so are you on together, or is it just you and him? We host the show together. I see. And then each two sets, yeah. And all of our comedians that we have are GGT, meaning Girls, Gays, or Theys. But every once in a while, we will allow one single cisgender straight man to perform, but he has to do it in a dress.

Or he's not allowed on stage. And we are going to objectify him. It was hilarious. I saw it last month. June 5th in Washington, D.C. June 20th in Brea, California. June 28th in Buffalo, New York. And then for tickets and dates and venues, you can go to BobTheDragQueen.com. Also, you have a big show June 8th.

8th in Washington, D.C., correct? At the D.C. Improv for World Pride. And you go to ZachNoahTowers.com. That's correct, man. If you want the link straight to my tickets, you can go to SeetheDragqueen.com. S-E-E, like see with your eyes. SeetheDragqueen.com. Oh, I get it. So go to S-E-A. Well, I don't know. The letter C. The drag queen. Yeah. Can I give you an update real quick? And I didn't want to bring this up.

But Annie's giving me death stares over there. Oh, she's over you. I know she can't stand me. I know she hates me, but now I have an update. What? So Annie went back to get the second match of lemonade. Yes.

No. It was the matcha orange tonic. Annie, you did that on purpose. Yeah. Tao also dies. What? It's like arsenic in it. I was like...

This is not the... And I was like, oh, then I was like, I don't want to... But then I was like, now I have to... Because people want to know. People want the updates. You know what I mean? I can't... I don't make the drinks. But you check them after they make them to see if you have the right drink. Yeah, I said, is this for Annie Macho Lemonade? And the girl said yes. Okay. I did...

Was it a different color? Same color. Okay, so that's confusing. It is confusing for me. Okay, wow. We got two ties. She's picking on the only girl in the room. She's making a lot of excuses for Annie, and I don't hear any sympathy for the one who's sitting here in the car. That's what this white lady needs. You know what white ladies don't get enough of? Sympathy in America. No one's ever felt bad for a woman. I don't trust you. Shane, thanks for this water. This is certainly a water.

So you were born Chris Caldwell. Yes. But everyone calls you Bob. Or Caldwell. Yeah. Or Caldwell, okay. All of my partners call me Caldwell. Everyone else calls me Bob. Like, everyone else calls me Bob. Even my dad calls me Bob. Really? Yeah. So how long have you been Bob? Bob. I've been Bob for maybe, like, maybe 12 years now. My original drag name was actually Kitten with a Whip. Oh. Like the old Ann-Margaret movie. Now, Bob is a very masculine name for a drag queen. Yeah. Stands for big ol' bottom. Exactly. Yeah.

I mean, you are like 6'7 today. I am wearing big heels. Yeah. To those of you who are watching, I'll give you a glimpse of the shoe. Is anyone watching? No. What are these fucking cameras for? What are those, platforms? No, they're Pop-Tarts. Yes, they're fucking platforms. I'm trying to describe it to the audience. What is that camera? Oh, that's for social media. Oh, well, they're clever for social. But yeah, I'm wearing these demonian...

- Demonia, is it Demonia or Demonian? - Those are crazy. - I think it's Demonia. Big platform, they kinda look like shoes that someone would wear on the craft. - Or like the Spice Girls, goth era, posh spice. - But open toe. - Yeah. - Okay, so let's take this, line two, Glenn in Pennsylvania. This is a very good question for you, Zach.

Hi, Bobiana and Zachy. I love you both so much. Bob is the goat. You're so funny and you're a good rival for Jeff. I like you on here, Bob. I know that you're a very busy bitch. You get a lot to do, but I hope you come back. I want to know, I know it was just shot. It might be too early to really know, but when about, thank you, Bob, for producing Zach's special. When do you think roughly we might be able to see it?

Well, I would say, Zach and I haven't even had this conversation yet, to be honest, but I would say definitely by the fall, if not in the fall. Yeah, I think that felt right to me, too. Yeah, and I'm telling y'all, it is so funny. So we, most of the time when you do comedy, you film two specials.

And the first special, I opened for Zach on both of them. And then I went out and opened for Zach. And there was this group in the front row that was a little rowdy. Did you even know this? Was this on my taping? The one that I was at? The 6 p.m. I was at the 9 o'clock. Three drunk girls. No. Well, one wasted girl and two tipsy girls. Annie. Annie with a matcha lemonade. Annie.

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis live every weekday on Sirius XM, as well as the Jeff Lewis channel exclusively on the Sirius XM app.

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