Crystal Minkoff & Joey Zauzig: Summer Camp & Cringe Mountain
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I don't need therapy. I don't need a prayer service. I need the fucking facts. Get to the point. She shut me down. I know. She's like, I don't want this toxic man near me. See, you're a nice person. Don't tell anyone. Well, nobody thinks it, so it doesn't matter. Jeff Lewis has issues. Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis Has Issues. In today's episode, Crystal Minkoff and Joey Zausik join the show. We talk about a big mistake, financial fraud, and sixth grade knowledge.

Crystal, I feel like I saw you seven hours ago. Well, because you did. Lucky you. We had drinks at Craig's last night. That was fun. With the Dubai housewives who I love, Talene and Chanel. You were in love. Yeah. Yeah, they're fun. They're so fun. It was such a great group. I didn't get the invite. I'm sorry. Next time. We should have invited Joey. It wasn't me. My place. Talene invited us.

Or Ayan invited us. Yeah, both of them. Okay, next time, I guess. Well, I initially just thought it was going to be the three of us. And then I said, hey, can Shane come along? You said, of course. And then when I got there, Talene was there, which was great. I didn't know Talene was going to be there. So I was surprised when I saw her, but I thought she was so fun. The more, the merrier. And then we saw Margaret Josephs. Oh, yeah. Which was really random. Who was in town for two days. That's crazy. That was random. But she also would be at Craig's. It's like, of course. You could die back there.

So we have dragged you. We've dragged your coconut water. Yeah. But I have to tell you, it is a good hangover cure.

Yes, it is. And it was tasty. And my entire household went through that case of water that you sent me in days. We were so hydrated. Really? Yeah. I was saying your skin looks extra hydrated. Not anymore. Last night was a lot. So we can't mention the school. Well, I mean, people might know by now, but we can't mention Monroe's school. But you know, I told Crystal what happened, which is a mistake. But basically what happened is-

There was a, I don't, at least one banner, big, big banners that were put up promoting Monroe's school's summer program with a single picture, very cute, of Monroe.

So I didn't overreact because I'm like, oh my God, this is clearly an error. How many did they print? They obviously went to some expense, installing these, renting the spaces, the whole thing. So I thought, look, somebody made a mistake. I'm not going to make a big deal out of it.

Monroe is like over the moon excited. She thinks she's a supermodel. Yeah, she thinks she's famous. And I had to like tell her today, I said, look, don't let this fame go to your head. A lot of people are going to be coming up to you. They're going to want selfies. They're going to want to talk to you. I said, be nice to everyone. Introduce yourself, get their name. And I said, you know, it's it's work being famous. Don't you think, Crystal?

A lot of work. And then she tried to use that as an excuse to not do her homework. Yeah. So what did she say? I said, you need to do your reading, 30 minutes of reading. And what'd she say? She's like, daddy, I'm famous. Famous people don't read. And I said, no, no, your daddy doesn't read. I said, other famous people read.

Okay, you have to be really careful. You got to get that billboard down because she's going to really use it hard. Well, it's already down. Already? What? Because, oh yeah, it was taken down this morning because Daddy Gage sent an email to the head of the school. And let me just... I knew he was going to blame me and I knew he was angry and...

Obviously, it's always everything is my fault. Everything in life. Wait, what's his email? Polite or was it? I don't know. So this was the text that he sent me. Oh, my gosh. Someone sent me a message that you are laughing about some kind of billboard showing Monroe promoting blank summer camp in public. Do you realize how dangerous that is, that people would know what school she goes to? I said, I have nothing to do with it. I figured you'd lose your shit.

He said, but you told your audience today that you thought it was funny and you have and you have not told me about it or done anything else about it. Is the banner in public or on the school campus? I said, I find it funny and I don't plan on doing anything about it.

You guys are so contentious. Oh my God, this is like crazy. I know. How did that even happen if you guys were the only people? Oh God, there's more. It's going to get good. How is there more? She's like, of course you find it funny because she's just content to you. You don't even fucking care about her safety. You're a total dipshit. Oh my God. Then he says this, your dipshit goon audience, Val is going to find that banner post and everyone's going to know where she sits at school all day long. This is just so dumb. I'm like, it's a cute pic. Oh my God.

Seriously, you put her in harm's way. You're endangering her. Unbelievable. I said, I did not say where it is. She's so photogenic. I just found out today at 8.55 a.m. That's why I didn't tell him. I wasn't going to tell him anyway. He's like emailing head of school. I'm like, it was clearly an accident. Please keep your cool. Great advice. You're an idiot. I'll handle it. Thanks. I said, you take yourself too seriously. Relax.

It's interesting how you project this about me. This is about Monroe. It likely comes as a shock to you that there are actually a lot of people who hate you and think you're an offensive moron. So putting Monroe in danger by letting people know where she's sitting at school all day is actually a really horrible and dangerous idea. Not seeing it as that from your perspective isn't a shock, but a disappointment nonetheless.

Since you're probably going to read all of this on air, make sure you also tell everyone that I think you're a fraud and a thief. I said, this is getting crazy. I'm actually uncomfortable right now. This is too personal. I said, okay, we'll do. And then he said, and don't worry, I'll take care of the parenting part. Continue to go fuck around and make jokes, LOL. I'm like, thanks, Dad! Exclamation point. And then I got a middle finger emoji. Oh, Mike, I thought you guys were doing better. No.

No. This is better for them. Holy shit. I think the whole- Aye, aye, aye. Honestly, I think it is so funny, and I'll tell you why. The irony of all of this is that, and Monroe was even laughing about it too, is that he would not participate in summer school just because it was my idea. And I had to take him to court. I lost. I lost.

because I needed him to comply because what was happening, we had this shitty custody schedule where it was like two day, three day, two day, three day. So I couldn't do anything with her unless he cooperated, but he never cooperates. So I said, I really think this summer program is beneficial to her. She can do dance, she can do art, and she was excited about taking all these classes

He said, no, I will not participate. So I had to take him to court. I lost. I think the irony of this is that the banner was promoting the summer camp. She's the face of summer camp. How did the school mess up on that one? You guys are the only two people that like out of,

All the kids in the school. Yeah. That's who they chose. But the one couple that says we don't want our child on the propaganda, but it's they chose her. I honestly. That's crazy. I did it to appease him. That's. But I did send an email. I said, please do not use any, you know, because I knew this was going to happen. Yeah. Please don't use any, you know, photography of my daughter for marketing purposes or promotional purposes. Yeah.

It was an accident. It was an accident because I, you know, my daughter went to that school up until this year. And there's paperwork that you sign saying like you can opt out of marketing stuff. And so we clearly I know that Jeff did as well. So I think this was a complete oversight. But holy shit, you guys. That is like. I mean, that's how Rob and I text each other. But I mean, yeah. Oh, that's that's tame. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah.

That's tame. Yeah, you have to be really tough to deal with that all the time. I think my favorite part of the whole text was that he called my audience dipshit goons. I mean... Shout out dipshit goons. No more chumps, it's now goons, baby. That's easy to say. Dipshit goons. How was Italy?

It was incredible. Ciao. I can't really move my face right now because I got a chemical peel, so it's hard to make expressions, I'm realizing, as I'm on the radio right now, but Italy was great. Well, there's no video anymore, so you don't have to worry about it. I can relax. What is this video thing? They used to film the show and post it on the app in its entirety two hours straight. They stopped doing that. They took it away because of budget cuts. Okay.

But it was great. It was with the Bravo crew. All the summer house. All the summer house people. Let me back up for a second because on February 17th you were here and you were in love and you had just the night before discussed an exclusivity situation. Yes. Where are we at with that today? We're good. He came over last night and we hung out this weekend. Would you say you're exclusive?

I'm not dating anyone else. Yeah. I'm not dating anyone else at the moment, but I think we're both, we haven't had that conversation yet. Why not? But I'm happy. I felt like you were having that conversation on the night of the 16th, and I remember- While we were drunk and he was playing guitar, so we were having a lot of conversations that didn't go into anything serious, but we're going to, I think that, like, I don't know. I don't want to put pressure on it. We're just taking it slow. Oh, yeah.

Oh, is this when he sang the Goo Goo Dolls? Yeah, and I'll give up forever. Yes. Oh my God. He's saying him now. I know. Crystal, don't give me that look. I'm sorry. I'm just kind of mortified by the whole thing. It's cringy. It is. Did he have his shirt on when he played the guitar? I don't think so. Oh God. He has a six pack though.

So he had his shirt off, he's playing the guitar, and he's singing to you. We were both kind of in camaraderie. When you say it like this, we were just kind of singing for a second, and then he was like, I don't feel like playing the guitar. I was like, okay. I love your looking at me like you're really trying to answer because you can tell I'm judging you. Yes, I know. Crystal's really judging me. He was playing and singing, and then Joey started to sing, and then he said, you know what? I don't really feel like playing the guitar. That's exactly what happened. That's exactly what happened. But things are good. He came over last night.

What do you watch? I just remember, and I think we could probably re-listen to the show, but I think you were kind of, I felt like, in love again on the 17th of...

But then you went to Italy. So now it's no longer an exclusive situation. Well, I didn't hook up with anyone in Italy. No one? I swear on my life. What about on the plane on the way there? Nope. What about on the plane on the way home? Nope. What about in the airport? No. I'm just kidding. No. No, literally no one. I mean, I was with five straight guys in Italy, guys. It was like my first all straight trip in my life. But it was like I fit in perfect with the Summer House Boys.

Shane, did everyone return their talent agreement for ChumpCon? I got Joey's today. I'm waiting on Jamie Kennedy, but everyone else. Okay, great. My lawyer had to tweak a few things. Did Marlo make any changes? Yeah. One. Yeah, there was one that was accepted out of... It was basically just because my team's commissioning off of it now because it's like a certain number, so it's...

Yeah. Oh, your team's commissioning, so they're involved now. They're involved now. I know. I'm going to start getting, you're going to start getting on emails. Jameis, it looks scary. Shout out Haley. Shout out Haley. His team. My best. Yeah. Redlined a very simple talent agreement. Okay. And so Marlo called me and she's like, what do you think? I'm like, no.

I knew it came from you. Yeah, I said, no, don't make any changes. Nothing. I'm not spending a dollar having you negotiate with fucking Joey Zausig's team. That's so funny. There's no way. I got notes from my attorney and then I just didn't bother sending them. What's the point? It's such a simple agreement. I don't care. That's true. You're crazy. You're very fancy. Well, I have to be. I'm with UTA. They don't fuck around. I'm with UTA too. Oh, you are? Oops. Oh, my God. Look at us.

So if you want to book either a dinner, drinks, lunch, anything, because you both are going to be there and you're both on Fan Social, right? Yes. Of course. I want to do that. Go to fansocial.co. We've already booked dinner. And drinks. And drinks. So we booked dinner on Thursday. We booked drinks on Sunday. So we still have times...

and days available? On Fan Social, when you go on, there's a banner at the top specifically for ChumpCon, so click on that and you can see who's available and the times and the whole thing. Question. Are you both willing to fly in a day early and do a Fan Social event on Thursday? Yeah. Okay. 100%. We'll do one together. Me and Crystal will do a duo. Martinis. And I'll just judge you the whole time. She can literally just judge me the whole time. But Joey hasn't been booking a lot on Fan Social because of the floodlighting and the trauma dumping.

We think. I used to book all the time before I went on a trip. I know, but we did some. I don't want that. Maybe we should do something separate. We're not going to. Crystal, I'm not going to trauma dump on you. Please don't. No, he's going to trauma dump on the people paying. But I feel like I would like your opinion because I feel like you keep it 100 with me and just kind of tell me to shut up when I need to shut up. That's what I need in my life. Yes. Clearly, I would because you need it. Thank you. I do. Here's the problem. He doesn't listen. I absolutely do. I find that.

excruciatingly annoying giving my advice and you don't take it I check out I'm done I would listen I do listen I do take advice but I've never done it we've never done it yet so let's try and figure it out yes we'll do it once and if you don't take my advice you can go fuck yourself I'm not going to do it anymore but I'm going to trust that you will because it's very good advice just give me one chance okay I'll give it thanks look at us look at us this is great you're so clear fanssocial.com we have great communication skills

We'll teach you a lot. Do we want a Daisy from Puerto Rico? Line six. Oh, shut up, Puerto. Puerto Rico. Hi, Daisy. Hola, sí. Hola, mami. ¿Cómo está? Bien, ¿y tú? Muy bien, gracias. What?

What's your question, Daisy? So I wanted to talk a little bit about MJ because as a listener, I listen every single day. Okay. It's incredibly frustrating to listen to her talk about conflict with her. She becomes extremely defensive. And I found yesterday that when she's apologizing, she doesn't come from a place of understanding where you guys are coming from. She comes like it's just to get it over with. Yes.

Okay. I can see why you would think that. Yeah. And also, like, when there's conflict with other people that has happened in the past, she's quick to have an opinion. She's quick to... But when it's her, like, the way she shut down Reza yesterday, honestly, was so disrespectful to Reza. Well, I think she felt like it was... I mean, again, I was just... I just witnessed it. It was a bystander. But it felt like it was going to go deep, and it was something, I think, that...

She realized that this probably should be a private conversation. And they have, you know, I don't know, what is it, 20 year plus friendship? So I think they were about to start spilling. And then I think they both realized, oh, this is a conversation that should happen off air.

Okay. I just find it frustrating, and I wish that she would be more accountable. For example, when something's going on with Joey, we hold him to the fire. Yes, we do. And I feel like you do do that to MJ often, but something is not clicking. And I understand she has a lot going on in her life, but as a listener, it's frustrating because we're going around in circles, and we're getting nowhere. The same thing keeps happening with her.

Okay, so I know this is going to sound strange coming from me, but I am empathetic and sympathetic to MJ because I'm very aware of her struggles in her personal life, and I do believe it is now affecting her professional life. And I'm really trying to be empathetic to that situation.

I understand that. That makes sense. So again, I'm privy to details that other people are not. And I think if you were, you probably would agree with me, but thank you for calling Daisy. I appreciate it. Bye guys. And thank you for listening every day. All right. Daisy. Love you, girl. That was happy. That was, yeah, that was. Thank you for defending me to Chanel. Oh yeah. Because there was a miscommunication. We had drinks with Talene. Yes. Uh,

And you weren't specific. You weren't specific, but Chanel felt she wasn't invited. Talene felt Chanel wasn't invited. And then, you know, 45 minutes into the drinks, I realized like, where's Chanel? And then, but

But Chanel, her feelings were very hurt. And she reached out to you. Yes. Yes. Chanel is very sensitive. And the closer we get, I realize I have to, you know, she kind of goes zero to a million. And I help to temper her and remind her of things and explain things to her. But once you do, she really accepts it. She really gets it. But her emotions lead first. And she felt bad. And she was like, why didn't he, you know, I don't get it. I was like, no, he would never not.

invite you. That makes no sense. And no, I think we had a great time last night. It was really nice. But I'll always defend you if you're defendable. Right. Yes, you're right. And if you're not, I won't. It looks like Cynthia Bailey got a ChumpCon booking on Fan Social. She did? Yeah. What?

Yeah, but- Cynthia! She was on the phone with me on the way here. Oh my God, she got a booking, but Joey- Book me on Fan Social. Joey, there's no booking. Maybe I need to promote it more. I actually have a booking next Saturday, babe. You got a Chum Cum booking? No. Next Saturday. Next Saturday. Oh, for Fan Social booking is what I meant? Yes. Great. Through Fan Social, like a lunch at La Scala. They always want to go to La Scala with me. It's the second one I've done there. That's a great place. It's a great place. I think we put that on our list, didn't we? I did, yeah. There's nothing wrong with La Scala. No, it's-

It's a great one. I love the style of the chopped salad, baby. Actually, the chicken parm is really good, too. No, I get the chopped salad. It's actually pepperoncini. Me, too. That's exactly what I do. Oh, my God. Some people don't like the pepperoncini. It's my favorite part about it. The best. The best. If you are the person that has booked Joey Zausig for Fan Social, bring Kleenex.

Why? For yourself and for Joey. Why? Because of all the crying. Okay. I'm not going to be crying. I have a great, things are really great right now. Okay. I love that. Do you cry a lot? I literally never cry on this show. Actually, okay, one time I cried on the show. That was a lot. I was getting a divorce. Like, no, things are great right now. There's no negativity. Well, except for I got money stolen from PayPal yesterday from me. So, private bank is figuring it out for me, which is fucking crazy. But...

You got robbed. You got robbed. Kind of. But I always think when bad shit happens during your life, it just means something really big is coming. So when it's in the form of money, it means that there's like a lump sum coming in. Can you elaborate what happened? That's not true, but it's so positive, though. Chatting about these kinds of things. So basically, I went on my PayPal and it said like account locked.

And I had gotten a new phone, so I just thought that I had to do a new password. So I went in, and basically it was like P-A-U-X, like crypto. And I'm like, what is this? I don't have my crypto stuff on here. And basically this person has been taking like $4,000 from me a day for like two weeks. Like really, really bad. And like it's like $7 increments. Wait a minute.

Let me just do the math here, the chump math. Because you said that there was 8,800 stolen, but someone took 4,000 a day for two weeks?

Well, you guys know me in math. It's not going to be. That's not mathing. That's two days. Yeah, that's not mathing for me. Two days or two weeks. Okay, so there was like two days and then there was a few days that were literally like $7, $7, $7. Okay. Okay, because $4,000 a day times 14 is $56,000. Let me just ask. But you told me $8,800. I think there was $4,000 stolen twice. Let me just ask the pinhead goons for a second. We all know that I'm not. It's dipshit goons.

Goons get it right. Like I'm not the best at math. Maybe it wasn't 4,000, but I didn't add up everything. So I had to report it to PayPal. I had to call, like email the girls at my bank. Like it was just a whole thing.

So now I have to get on the phone with them. But it freaked me out because I'm like, that's never happened to me before. I've never had fraud or anything. So I'm like, how did this person get into my PayPal? Have you, this happened to you before? Yeah, all the time. Don't you get your credit cards stolen all the time? Yeah. Yeah, my business manager's like, oh, we're submitting a new credit card. We just have fraud every couple months. But I check everything every day. I grab it quick. See, I don't. Oh, I don't. Everything every day. I don't do any of that.

of that, which is really bad. That shocks me because you're such a smart business woman. You know why? Because I have such fear of not having money, so I don't like looking at my accounts because I feel like I don't have enough money. That is my fear. I have a fraud on mine right now. I just checked because we're talking. I have a $100 charge. Maybe it's coming from inside the house. It's very common. Maybe it's a trick and pull. I know. I got that coffee read. Oh, my God. They're stealing from us. Well, you know, it's not far off. Did you ever give them your PayPal?

For any reason. Did you pay for a coffee read? Probably. That makes sense. Throughout my two years. They have those beady eyes. They do. You know, there's something about the beady eyes that you just know you're going to get fraud from. They look deep into your eyes and you're like, oh, they're stealing your money.

Yeah, like they're not actually reading like your brain or like your future. They're reading your credit card numbers or your PayPal accounts. I bet they're going to – it's going to be a big score of chump con between people's purses, their jewelry. I bet hotel rooms will get broken into. What? Yeah. No, you have to have extra security. The thing that's funny though is I have the same fear. That's why I don't check my accounts because I'm scared about not having any money. So yesterday I was like –

fuck, like I have to go into my account totally expecting it to like all be drained. Yeah. It didn't really make a dent. So I was like, okay, well then I guess like. How rich are you? I just. It's very sexy. No. I love money. I just hate not having money. I hate not having money too. So it actually made me feel better looking at my account because you know how you look at your account sometimes and you're like, hell yeah, like this is great. And then sometimes you're like, oh fuck.

And yesterday was like, okay, we'll kind of fuck, but then I'm kind of like, great, this is going to get back to me. I hope I get the money back. I will, right? You will. Do you ever look at your account like, hell yeah? No. I never do. No. Oh, my God. I feel broke every day of my life. I was talking to my dad about this. I guess I do, too. But sometimes I feel like, okay, good, I'm better than I thought I was. That's great. No, I mean, that's my dream. I don't know. I mean-

I have an idea. The way that I look, it's like strategizing, right? So I look at what's in and then I think, okay, this is coming in, this is coming in. I can spend this on this. I can do this here and then next month I'll do this. You know, I just, I strategize every day. I just, because I know there's such giant chunks of money going out, you know, like, every day it's like, oh, it's like a $30,000 thing. It's so much money and I'm like, what? Like,

Like, how am I going to get that in? I feel like people listening right now are like, Crystal, you're crazy. So I feel like I have to say, is it that you have a fair amount of money coming in, but a fair amount going out? And so that's where I just I don't know how much is in. I feel I've just always been like that. Like I grew up from like parents who like immigrant parents who had nothing. So I just live like that. Like I live like I have nothing and I get really worried about it. It's just my thing. Yeah. I have to go to therapy about it, but it's very scary.

I know it's very annoying to people. I try to get you to spend money. You really tried last night. I really tried. You want me to spend like hundreds of thousands of dollars. This is what I told her. She looks so beautiful last night. Like classically, like just naturally beautiful. And she was very well put together and she had this gorgeous bag, but she has no jewelry on. And I said, you really need to invest in some really, like a really great diamond, like tennis necklace.

and like a statement piece that she could just wear all the time and some big diamond earrings. And this day and age when everyone's getting shit stolen. But no one knows what's real and what's fake. That's true. He wants me to level up. But that's part of my thing. It's like, you know, I play coach. I'm always like...

you know, not spending. But I know you're the kind of person where you would buy just a couple of pieces, you wear them all the time. I will. There's a lot of women that do that. Yes, I believe in investment pieces for sure. I just, yeah, LA's a little scary right now. I wore my ring today for you. Thank you. I love that ring. I know. But, yeah, I know. I just, it's my own personal thing. I've been like this my whole life and I will never change. I will always be scared. Do you find Coach like all the time? Almost. Almost.

Wow. Oh, I've gotten Cynthia to fly coach now, and Chanel's going to fly coach next time she's here. Oh, really? Yeah, she flew her glam business. But they have different levels now. So there's like economy, economy plus, premium, all that. Yeah, I'll do premium. Those are nice. Yeah, I'll do premium. I'm not like 100% coach, but I just don't. I'm like, we're all in the same metal tube. We're all getting in the same place.

It's a little different experience, but I don't need the, I mean, I'm happy with the business. I'm not going to spend a ridiculous amount of money on first when business is great. No. I don't get the first thing, I guess, unless you're like a celebrity and don't want to like, who cares? I don't care. Like Gage. As long as I'm. Does he fly first? He flies first? I'm sure. No, babe. Yeah, he used to do those airport postings. He hasn't done that in a while. The AMAs at the airport.

Oh, that was my thing. I travel way too much to just be like, you know, casually buying first class. I've traveled. I'm on a plane every week. What do you think? That's expensive. What do you think about people that post that they're so busy? It's so annoying because they're not as busy as me. Yeah. That's so dumb. That's just attention seeking. Really? You think it is? Yes. I hate cringy posts of any kind. I look down. I guess you're not going to follow me back. Well.

Well, the Google Dolls thing is already a major red flag with you. Joey's post. That is super. Joey's post. This was an AMA. Before you do this, this was an AMA. Somebody asked me this question. But you answered it publicly. How do you keep going? How do you keep going? I'm exhausted watching your stories. You're so busy.

To be honest, since Italy, it's been pretty non-stop insane. I never readjusted to the time difference either, and I'm happy, even tonight, to have some time to relax and regenerate like my body. But I also just feel like I'm made for this, and I love being busy, but he's just a tad tired.

Okay, well, here we go. Can you always bring me up with Joey because he's so much easier to make fun of? I'm always getting dragged, but I'm like, what is that? And I take it because you know what? I want to answer as much as I can and I was fucking tired. I was dilapidated at that point. How do you do it? Dilapidated.

But it is because I do. I'm exhausted. But I do get it because when you look at my stories and stuff, it does look like I'm so busy. I'm not that busy, but I have events every night. Yeah, seriously. All those dinners and the pictures. It was go, go, go. And the videos of you eating in the car. You are so busy. It's exhausting. I'm glad you addressed it.

Yeah. You need to let everybody know. Close your eyes and just take a rest while we take a break. Let me take accountability. That was a cringe post. And sometimes I post things and I'll look back at it and be like, that was really cringe. Hearing it back, I was like literally melting into my chair. It's cringe. And that's okay. Some of my stuff is cringe. I really like you. Oh,

You're very, I like the accountability. He's likable. Yes. I know. I know he is likable. I like that. Thank you. You recognized it, and I feel like you apologized to the community. But he'll do it again tomorrow. Sometimes in my world, to become successful, you have to climb Cringe Mountain. And if you're not climbing Cringe Mountain, you're probably not getting anywhere. So I don't really care. From Disney on March 21st, the musical movie event of the year arrives in theaters. My name is Snow White. Flawless. Exquisite. Get tickets now. Waiting on you.

Snow White will have you on your feet. I think that's a wonderful idea. And cheering for more. I was thinking the same thing. Experience the magical story. Magic mirror on the wall. Who's the fairest one of all? Snow White. Disney's Snow White. Only in theaters March 21st. Rated PG. Parental guidance suggested. Tickets on sale now.

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All right, we're going to play a new game. It's called Are You Smarter Than a Chump? Oh, my God. So I'm going to ask sixth grade general knowledge questions. Because of that. Right? Whoever answers correctly gets the point. The person with the most points at the end of the game wins. Joey, I'm going to start with you. Okay. What is the largest ocean? The Atlantic. The Atlantic?

Crystal? Pacific. You are correct, Crystal. The Pacific. That was a good guess. That was a good guess. That was a great guess. Yeah. What are the three states of matter? Joey? Solid, liquid, and gas. Great. That was a good job. I'm proud of you. Thank you, babe. I'm really happy about it. Joey, what is the longest river in the world? The Nile, bitch. Oh my God. The Nile is a river in Egypt. Okay.

Your husband is gay. Okay, go. Who was the first president of the United States? George Washington. You're kind of like mental. You're like really smart. You really underestimated me with the spelling bees, but this is a piece of cake. Name the process of how plants make their food. Photosynthesis. Okay. Holy shit. Joey, how many continents are there?

Four continents. Seven. Seven continents. Four? All right, close. You were close. I was close. I was thinking like Asia, Alaska, the U.S. Those three. The U.S., Alaska, and Asia. Don't give me that judgmental look.

One more time. I'm a Chinese mother. Okay. He met Australia. I need to come over and play Sudoku or some shit. To learn the continent. What's that like the tutor that a lot of Asian kids do? Oh. Yeah, I know. All my friends used to do that. Yeah, the Kumon. Kumon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joey, what is the largest mammal? The spice? Oh, the largest mammal is a palatopus. No, it's the blue whale. Blue whale. Okay. Palatopus is small. How did you know that?

There's so many mammals out there. How did I know all of them? I know. I know it was on the platypus. Well, platypus is huge. I was thinking platypus. Aren't those very small? Yeah. Like Phineas and Ferb, he's little. He's like a squishmallow. That's a cartoon, Shane. Look, Google it. What is the largest man-made structure in the world? The Taj Mahal. Taj Mahal.

Great Wall of China? Yeah. Correct. Wait, that's what I meant by the time. Joey, who painted the famous Mona Lisa? Leonardo da Vinci. Great. Okay. I'm so proud of you. Joey, what is the square root of 64? 64. This is so stupid. How do I not know this? The square root of 64 is...

No, it's eight. Eight. I'd say it is 64. Okay, can I just say though, I have a really hard time with math. We know that from before. That's my one thing. I knew that before. I never applied myself to math. No, I knew that when you were explaining the PayPal thing. So please, dipshit goons, don't come for me for not knowing the square root of 64. It's eight. Joey, what do you call a baby kangaroo? A joey. Cute. What is the capital of China?

Please don't do this to me. The capital of China is... I don't know if I would have got that. Where is the Great Wall of China? What city? Hong... No. No, no, no. Okay. Beijing. The Olympics. Beijing. Oh, Beijing. Why didn't someone say the Olympics or something like that to help me? Thanks. Joey, what is the seventh planet from the sun?

Oh, I should know this. The seventh planet from the sun is Saturn or something? Uranus. Uranus. How did you know? I did say it before she said it. A little bit. You did not say it. A little bit. Joey, who was the first person to walk on the moon? Arnold Armstrong, bitch.

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Oh, I should know this. Arachnophobia. It was a movie. You suffer from? A really scary movie. Arachnids. Does that help? No, girl. Spiders. Spiders. Oh, spiders. Yeah. All right, last question, Joey. I didn't know that. Arachnophobia. Yeah, okay, arachnophobia. Yeah, I knew that because of the movie. You're right. I wouldn't have known that otherwise. What is the freezing point of water in Fahrenheit?

I don't remember this. Like 16? Zero Fahrenheit? 34 Fahrenheit. I have 32 here. Oh, 32. Oh, yes. Sorry. I think Crystal might have won. Do you think? Joey got seven, but Crystal knew them all. Crystal only missed one out of 16. We don't really know who won. It's a draw. We'll take it as a draw. We'll take it as a draw. That's fine.

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis live every weekday on Sirius XM, as well as the Jeff Lewis channel exclusively on the Sirius XM app. Last year, Americans ate 32 billion chicken wings. Who knows just how many helpless sides of celery were heartlessly thrown away. But this year, celery neglect can stop with you and irresistible Jif peanut butter because you can make a snack to make a difference.

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