We're sunsetting PodQuest on 2025-07-28. Thank you for your support!
Export Podcast Subscriptions
cover of episode Fortune Feimster & Doug Budin: Wigs & Cheeseburgers

Fortune Feimster & Doug Budin: Wigs & Cheeseburgers

2025/5/30
logo of podcast Jeff Lewis Has Issues

Jeff Lewis Has Issues

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
A
Aurora
D
Doug Budin
F
Fortune Feimster
J
Jameson
J
Jeff Lewis
J
Julia Cunningham
Topics
Jeff Lewis: 我认为Doug的笑话偶尔好笑,所以我会笑。我们节目中的喜剧演员通常都很即兴和有趣,这与一些喜剧演员带着预先写好的笑话和段子不同。我鼓励大家在节目中保持真实和即兴发挥。 Doug Budin: 我讲了一个关于在冰淇淋店应聘的笑话,Jeff觉得很好笑。这个笑话很简单,但Jeff的反应让我感到很开心。 Fortune Feimster: 我觉得Doug的笑话好笑是因为我没料到笑点。现在的单口喜剧更注重真实,人们想听真实的故事,了解真实的你。我尽量在表演中展现真实的自己,与观众建立更深层次的连接。 Julia Cunningham: 我通常不喜欢在我的节目中邀请喜剧演员,因为他们会带着预先写好的笑话和段子来。我更喜欢嘉宾能够自然地参与对话,而不是为了表演而打断谈话。

Deep Dive

Chapters
The episode starts with Jeff Lewis, Fortune Feimster, Doug Budin, and Shane Douglas. Doug shares his unsuccessful ice cream job application due to unavailability on Sundays, leading to laughter from Jeff and Fortune. The conversation transitions to Zach Noe Towers' successful comedy special and the comedians discuss their experiences with stand up comedy, touching upon the authenticity preferred in modern stand-up.
  • Doug's joke about not getting an ice cream job because he couldn't work Sundays
  • Discussion of Zach Noe Towers' comedy special
  • Comedians' preference for authentic, off-the-cuff conversations in stand-up

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
中文

The Starbucks Summer Berry Refresher is officially back. Bold notes of raspberry, blueberry, and blackberry shaken with ice and poured over raspberry-flavored pearls. Try it with lemonade or coconut milk. Available for a limited time. Your Summer Berry Refresher is ready at Starbucks.

Have you met All Modern? All Modern has the best of modern furniture and decor all in one place. So refreshing your home for summer has never been easier. Their team of modern obsessed experts, hand vets, each designed for quality. Plus, All Modern's fast and free shipping lets you upgrade your home in days, not weeks. So whether you're updating your living room or reimagining your patio, All Modern has the very best of modern all in one place. That's modern made simple. Shop now at allmodern.com.

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

I've learned from my mistakes and that's what I want to teach people. Don't do what I have done. This show, I mean, you guys really start some shit. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as an asshole. I just want people to do their jobs. Jeff Lewis has issues. Hey, it's Jeff Lewis and I have issues. In today's episode, Fortune Feimster and Doug Buden join the show. We discuss Fortune's life update and Doug's American flag. Plus, we all get excited about sizzling cheeseburgers.

I'm here with comedians, comedians, Fortune Feimster Doug Buden and Shane Douglas. Every day when we do mic check, Doug tells some stupid joke. And once in a while, they land and I laugh. And so that's why I was laughing. Tell the joke again. So today's mic test was, you guys, I applied for this job at the ice cream store and I didn't get it.

Why? Well, I couldn't work Sundays. Thank you. And Jeff got so tickled by it. He laughed out loud. I thought it was funny. And there was one last week also you liked. So I'm now two in a row. Because normally I never laugh. But you laughed too, Fortune. I did because I didn't expect it.

Honestly, I didn't see the punchline coming. Look, I don't ever want to take work away from Zach Noe Towers, but would you consider having Doug open for you? I will have to put him in the rotation. I got a tight four seconds. Oh, that might be hard. I got one joke. Now, our Zachy did an amazing job at his special. I heard, I knew he had the taping. Do you went to it? I went to it. That is so nice. He was on the road. I texted him.

that I hope it went well. You liked the show? I did. There was a few chumps that went. Shane, you canceled last minute. Ryan was there. Todd. Todd and Carrie. Yeah, Ryan and Rebecca. Monica. And then Monica was there. And then Carrie and Todd and

and me and then Natasha, Monica's friend. Yeah. But it was a great show. I mean, he really impressed me. I actually finally texted him yesterday. I was like, you're being a dick, Jeff. You left him hanging. I left him hanging. So mean. And I did tell him. So typical. What did I say to him? That is sweet that you went, though. I said, I loved your show. You did great. I'm a proud zaddy.

Hey, what did you think? Did you say asses up? He goes, I know this text was painful. Makes it all the sweeter. It's so true. And can you tell us, now that Zach's not here, you and Zach had a conversation about his wardrobe, and Zach was saying to Jeff, you are going to hate it. How did you feel about Zach's wardrobe? I didn't hate it. I thought his pants could be tighter. Yeah, you did. Oh, yeah. But I think he should just sell it, right? Be himself. Yeah.

But no, it was fine. He's so good at being him. You know, when you watch his stand-up, because I've only seen him live once, and it really is him. He doesn't put on a persona. It's him. It's great. His energy is really nice. You want to watch him, and you feel like you're in good hands. I probably already know the answer to this, but my guess is he's so...

and professional, he never runs the light, does he? No, he's very respectful. Zach is respectful in all the ways. Yeah. He is the best person to travel with, to be on the road with, to have perform. He's amazing. Do you find, because we were talking about this yesterday with Julia Cunningham, she was saying that she doesn't, she traditionally doesn't like to have comedians on her show. Oh. Because what her experience has been is that they come in with like a shtick. Oh.

Or, you know, they've already have kind of pre-written jokes in their head and bits. And then they're kind of sidetracked the conversations so they can deliver their bits. Right. We've only had that once here. That's old school. We've only had that once here. Otherwise, every comedian has been really kind of off the cuff and funny. Yeah. I know because you want to have a real conversation. I think that's where stand up has entered into is you want to you want people to be real.

And just tell stories and like, who are you? Not the more like sticky stuff. Now, we can address this very quickly and then we can move on because I want to keep the show fun and light. But I've been reading a lot about you and the tabloids lately. You've been going through a rough time. Now, I will tell you that here around this studio, we've been calling you Miss Fortune. Oh, my God. Would you consider changing your name?

You know, there's a lot going on right now. That's for sure. That's a great drag name. A drag name. Miss Fortune. Yeah. So things are, I've been having a tough time too at my house. Oh yeah. Dealing with the owls. And then also today I couldn't open my safe. Oh, how did you get through this? Well, I,

I have to wear the same watches yesterday and I'm running out of cash. Oh no. You couldn't open your safe? We don't want to go to ATM or anything like that. And we're going into a holiday weekend. Banks will be closed. What's wrong with the safe? I talked to the safe guy and he told me that the battery is probably dying.

Oh, yeah. So we're going to switch the battery today. Yeah. There must be some sort of safe guard. I've got to get in that safe. I know. Well, it sounds like you and I have similar problems. My mom has uncurable cancer. And Jeff can't get cash. Yeah. Well, I just want to, you know, I relate. Yeah. That's so good. That's great. Someone was saying that we should put poison on the...

I don't want to hurt the owls. I don't think I want to kill the owls. I just want them to live somewhere else. I'm sure they're protected. They're back. Oh, you can't kill them. Oh, they're back. I don't think you could kill owls. I don't want to. I don't think you would want to. Give a hoot and don't pollute and save the owls. I remember that. Okay, Mark. Wasn't he an owl? But I keep getting all this misinformation where people are like, owls mean death. And I bet you've got, you know. Oh, my God. What is wrong with you?

But I think they're protective. They're wise. They're like sages. What is a group of owls called? Is it a parliament? A parliament of owls, I think. Is this another joke? That sounds like a government. No, no, no. Maybe it's a parliament of owls. Just because if there are multiples, let's use the right word. I've never heard that. Doug, you would be correct. It is a parliament. Oh, everyone is so pumped to know this now. I did want to tell you that in regards to your mom, and I know the prognosis is not great.

great and I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you. You know, there is a clinic in Chicago that when I was dating the Chicago chiropractor, his mother also had cancer and prognosis wasn't good and they couldn't, you know, wasn't responding to chemo, all of that. She went into this clinic, which I'll get you the name. It was somewhat pricey, but you can afford it. And it's, they treat the cancer with diet. Oh yeah. And an incredibly strict diet.

diet yeah um they they remove things from your diet they add think they supplement they add things and um she has been in remission oh nice so i should get you that yeah give me the information i my mom asked me to post about for those that don't know my mom just um was diagnosed with cancer um in her bile ducts it's a very aggressive rare cancer that's not curable but it can be treated

It's a little, you know, people are like that I've talked to is like it could be one year. It could be six years. It's not no one's saying like 15, 10. But she asked me to post about it to just get any kind of help. And the people that have written, it's been unbelievable. Well, I bet Chumps will respond to. Yeah, it's I mean, I can't even keep up with all of the information. There's so much and what?

We're acting as fast as we can just because this cancer spread so quickly. But she has an appointment next week with a top surgeon in this field. So we're really hoping. Is she here with you or is she at home? She's in North Carolina. So she's going to go to Emory next week in Atlanta.

to talk to a specialist. So, you know, she starts chemo next week and we'll just, yeah, hope for the best and do everything we can. And you'll just treat and, you know, be there for her and with her. Yeah. So, you know, my life is, it's, I'm going into this new phase with, you know, just trying to get my mom healthy and be happy and all those things. Not to be a downer, but usually bad luck comes in threes. Okay, good to know. Well, maybe,

I know what it is. It's you and me rescheduling our cooking. That's what it is. That's how Jeff would see the bad luck. Detrimental. Speaking of C&K, you're getting some big celebrities. Oh, this guy. Yeah. What is happening? Wait, who are the big gifs? Do you have a booker now? No, in the next few weeks, I've got, well, next week, Jolie Fisher and her sister are coming on. How did you get Jolie Fisher? Well-

It was thanks to Liz Rome because Liz Rome texted me and some random number and was like, hey, let's book a Cook and Kibbitz at Doug's. And then the other number was like, that sounds great. And then I called Liz. I said, I don't know who that is. And Liz said, that's Jolie Fisher. And so Jolie is coming, but Liz can't. And then Kirby Bliss Blanton is coming on with Ryan. I've got Crystal and Rob Minkoff on June 19th on location. I've got Sarah Colonna and John Ryan coming up. Mm.

We got some. Wow. What are they coming? Maybe I'll come to that one. To Sarah and John? Yeah. That'll be at their house. Oh, okay. It's in a couple of weeks. Yeah, it's closer to you. Let me see if I'm in town. Okay. Oh, that would be so great. I mean, I just invited myself. They love you. It's okay. Sarah requested just like a Milanese, chicken Milanese, so we're going to do that a few different ways. All right. Yeah, so we've got some, but there's no cooking kibbutz tonight. Oh. Why?

Do you have a date? I wish. No, I don't have a date. I needed, I have a lot to do. Did you seriously ask him that? You're a bitch. That's just mean. Oh, I mean, Mr. Bad things come in three. I really want to find Doug Love. That's actually my next journey. That is the third journey. Wait a minute, you guys. Hold on. What's that?

I'm in the room. This has to be our mission. Why are we not using this platform for good? They tried. We've tried. We've tried for six years. It is a dark road. How many more years do you want me to try? I have gone on a few dates with guys that I've met through Jeff's show. I got my first ever date.

dick pic through this show? How was the New Jersey phone date? We did talk about it. What? We talked about it. No, we didn't. Wait, I forgot about this. Or did I not know about this? You knew. Y'all, you could have seen Annie's face when Doug said, I got a dick pic. She went... Did you feel your breakfast coming up? Yeah. She just was over there in the corner like... Sorry, Annie.

I am a sexual being, Annie. Get used to it. Just any dick pic is not great. Well, I'm talking to the wrong crowd here. Well, I was going to suggest to you off air that maybe you should consider dicks. Oh, I should go straight? Maybe. You're so cute. Guys like you. Oh, I know. I am pretty good.

I like guys a lot too, but I'm pretty gay. Really? Yeah. You don't think so? Fortune? She's gay.

I don't know. I think you have a little bit of an interest in dick. I like men a lot, but I'm not going to suddenly be dating men. It's a little late. Let's plant that story with TMZ. Just be open to it. Okay, thank you. Doug, what are you doing tonight? I didn't want to get together, fortune.

So Doug, tell us about the New Jersey guy. It was a guy who reached out on Instagram. At a phone date? Was it a Zoom? No. A FaceTime? It was Face via Instagram. So you got to see him? Yeah. Was he handsome? Yeah, he's a very handsome guy. How long was the conversation? About 20 minutes. That's kind of short. Oh, perfect. It was fine. We'll probably talk again.

But when was the last time you had a conversation? When was this phone call? Last week. So seven days ago? Yeah. Well, we've been messaging. Okay, good. So there's been some follow-up. Yeah. So when will there be another FaceTime? Soon.

I mean, you've got a big weekend, though. Yeah, this is a holiday weekend. So I don't know. Tell Fortune all your plans. Yeah, what are your plans? Are you having a barbecue? No, no, no, no. But this is a Memorial Day weekend. Memorial Day and Labor Day are huge weekends for me, like, you know, rites of passage. So this is, for example, this is when I take out my flag. I have to wash the flag when I do my flag race. You're making it hard for me to find you a date. Yeah.

Should you get the flag out of the attic? No, it's in the shed. So it has to be washed. And then I do have a ceremony to raise my flag. What do you mean a ceremony? Are we talking about flags still? Yes, the American flag. A solo ceremony. You know, there's a song that you play when you raise the flag and a song that you play when you lower the flag. And so now that I have a light that'll stay focused on the flag, I don't have to take it in at sundown anymore, which we talked about.

last year. So I will do my flag raising ceremony, play the song, and then the flag will stay up until Labor Day. Okay. Why is it only, dare I ask, why is it only up Memorial to Labor?

Well, that's a Doug's thing. A summer thing? Okay, got it. For me, that's like a summer thing. Okay. It's very northeast. They're all about that. I was in Provincetown once doing a show for a whole summer, and there was a flagpole, and I had a dream that this old man said to me, you must raise the flag, and he showed me in my dream where the flag was, and it turns out the house we were staying in, this old man had just died an

All of his stuff was still there. And I went into the dresser in the dining room that he showed me, and there was the flag. And I said, we've got to raise this flag every day. And so I did. What I don't understand, and again, I'm probably going to regret asking this, is you said that you used to take the flag down every night? Yeah. Because you didn't have a light on it? Yeah. So that's a... I don't know...

whose rule or law or who governs that, but there is certainly an established rule. It's an American thing. It's more than a tradition. I think it's disrespectful is just what it is. You're not going to get in trouble or fined, but if you don't have a light focused on the American flag, you are supposed to take it down at sundown. The flag is supposed to be lit.

if it's up at night. I did not know this. I did not know that either. So now I have a light on it. Probably because I don't care, really. While there's no federal law mandating that the American flag be lit, the U.S. flag code recommends proper illumination of the flag. And I did find out you can machine wash your flag. Good to know. All right. Wow. Okay. What a transition. I love America, Jeff Lewis.

So when you, your next FaceTime, and I thought of you, is that there are certain colors that you should wear on a first date and you should not wear on a first date. Oh, tell us. So, and you might want to take some notes. Fortune, I like this color on you, so I hope this is a good color for you. Thanks, Doug. Stop hitting on me. The top shade to avoid wearing on a first date is black.

Yeah. Okay. I don't know why that is. That's like slimming. That's sexy. I don't know why. I know. I feel like here in LA, black is a staple. Yeah. I wore that on my first date with Bryson. Oh, you did? Yeah.

And are y'all still together? Yeah. Then all right. It says green. That shirt would be great fortune. Green is vibrant. It's welcoming. It literally means go across cultures, and it's associated with life, growth, luck, and health. All right. I like it. So that's good. Green's good for your eyes, too. Thank you. You're not bringing up skin tone or eye color or anything. This is just a universal. It's probably like what's inviting is what it is. You know what I mean? Green.

if you don't have oh they say light purple generally gives off a friendly vibe light purple but I don't know you can't not everybody can pull off a purple that's a hard color to it is really gay it's really gay what about salmon

Ooh, they save your redhead. It's perfect for redheads. I think I read that in the article. It's the perfect color. If you don't have green or lilac, Doug, you can opt for blues and yellows. Now, do not wear red because red is commonly thought of as hot and sexy. Mm-hmm.

The relationship expert suggests keeping that red dress, Doug, in your closet for a first date. Oh, for the next date. Yeah, for the second date. I do try to wear blue or green every day because it brings out the eyes. I like your shirt. My eyes. Thank you. White is a popular neutral shade. Stop hitting on me. Oh, they say white is sophisticated. Yeah, but you can get stains on it. Yeah, I would worry about spilling. Same. Yeah. Well, yeah.

I mean, if we're talking about positive things, you know, what's nice about being single is, no, I'm just saying, you know, for those of you that are single in general, you don't have to say yes anymore when you want to say no. You don't have to apologize when you're not sorry. You don't have to explain your decisions. You can eat whatever you want and whenever you want without judgment.

And you can turn the thermostat to wherever you want. Is this why you're living your best life? These are some of my most favorite things. I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to reframe. You know what else is great? When you leave the house and you come back, it's exactly the way you left it. That's a great one. Oh, I love that. That is a really good one. Not if you have my housekeepers, though. Well, I have housekeeping once every two weeks. So other than that, it's always how I left it.

This morning when I was prepping for radio and Aurora came in and she just, just the timing. Jeff, you should put a tree in your room. I said, I'm busy. Don't bother me right now. Aurora, job best designed. Wait, what? Why? For decor? She just randomly interrupts with weird thoughts. Like she wants something living. Because...

That room needs some life. That's her goal, is to try to prove proof of life in that room. When is your house that you're working on going to be done? Never. Is this still going to be like another year or two? No. I don't want it to end. I was there yesterday. It looks like they're repainting rooms that they already painted.

Those are called touch-ups, Doug. Oh. Don't be so judgy. Okay. And then they're doing the Roman clay. Well, I did add a few things. So we are adding Roman clay. What is that?

What is that? It's like a Venetian plaster, but it's more textured and less shiny. On the wall? What's that? Nerdy, is it? It's a wall. Is it nerdy? Everything you do is nerdy. Is it the whole wall? Yeah. Walls and ceilings in the public rooms. Oh, okay. The public-facing rooms. I love that. Just like at Buckingham Palace. These are the public-facing rooms. The private quarters are upstairs. The bathrooms are done.

- Isn't there like seven of them? - Nine. - They did address, I'm just gonna wake him. They addressed those handles in the downstairs bathroom. - Yes he did. - That was so relieved to see that. - What about peasant seven bathrooms? - But it's almost done, it is almost done. - Okay. - But I don't, I was thinking about this today. I mean I have to buy towel bars and toilet paper holders, wallpaper, light fixtures.

I got to get a new driveway, landscaping. So yeah, another year. Oh my gosh. You have a pool there already? Yes, but it's empty. Because you're going to have to redo it? No, I already redid it. Oh, you did. I just didn't fill it yet because I don't want to maintain it. Oh, right, right. The fountain at his house, it's like the Bellagio. Really? You can see it from space. It's not the Bellagio. I want to go see it sometime.

Well, you'll be able to see it in 2026. We'll have you over. Now, you know Doug is a digital entrepreneur now. Oh, really? Yeah. Like Joey? Mm-hmm. Just like Joey. Your career has really taken a turn. I know. So what does this entail?

Well, I've had like a couple of actual brand deals. I spoke with an agent. They said I'm a micro-influencer. Okay. And that my engagement was super high and that big brands love to see whatever it is. And so I've done- You're brand friendly. Yeah. I did one for Procter & Gamble and I've done now three for this ghee company. And apparently in the metrics, they said my things performed really, really well. Ghee is a good fit for you. Yeah. Exactly. O-M-Ghee. Well, he was-

Nice change. There is a June. Sorry.

We have an influencer retreat to Las Vegas. Y'all went on that Wise Beauty one. That was Cabo. That sounded really nice. It was nice. You would have liked it for sure. I would have been digging into that sushi with you and Jackie. Oh, it was so good. I love eating with skinny people. All those anorexics were not eating. So much food on the table. And Jackie and I, Jackie can put it back. Yeah, it seems like she loves the sushi, having mercury points. Oh, you have to eat a lot of sushi to have that.

But I would have been like, yeah, you have to sit by the skinny girls because they're not eating that crispy rice. And it was funny because, you know, I was calling people out for not eating. Like, hey, Susan, you going to eat? And then Jackie's like, shut the fuck up. There's more for us. And then I was like, oh, you're right. Yeah. And I mean, just I felt like, you know, they would serve these dishes for like six people. Yeah. But it was really for just Jackie and I.

I love Molly. She's so great. We're now going to Vegas for another influence retreat for Liat's company, Interior. Nice. And Doug-

He's already done all the research, and it's kind of insane how much he knows already. Oh, really? All I told him was the hotel we were staying at. Oh, you just looked up the hotel. That's it. Yes. Well- I want to quiz you, Doug. Oh. Because I know- It's only been 24 hours. I want to quiz you. But it's what the hotel offers as well? Yeah, just about this hotel. Okay, so I told him the hotel we're staying at. Okay. Yeah. And-

I just know you know the answers to these questions. I'm not going to know these. Okay. Do you know the thread count of the sheets? 507. Wow. Wait, because it's so specific. You're right. It's 507. Isn't that weird? I didn't know that. I didn't even know there was a 507. It's weird that you know that. Me neither. So I started Googling 507 thread count. And these are like bespoke. These are made for this person. I swear to God he doesn't know the answers to these. I mean, I didn't tell him. Right, right, right. What is the square footage, Doug,

of your room. - The base room there starts at 745 square feet. - You are correct. - But that's only in the tower and the spa facing. The other rooms start at 660 square feet. So I don't know exactly where our rooms are gonna be located. - Doug, how big is the TV in your room? - The TV in the room is a 55 inch 4K television, but did you know there's a 13 inch LCD in the bathroom?

I did not know this. There is. All right, Doug, do you know your order for breakfast? Oh, that's a trick question. You're trying to get me. And the truth is, I know what I was thinking about, but here's the deal. If you book on the hotel, you get a $50 breakfast credit.

and access to the tower pool. But I don't know, because this room was booked for me, I don't know if I'm going to have that $50 credit. If I do have the $50 credit, I'm going to get an omelet with two toppings, and I'm going to make it like the deluxe for $18. You get a glass of juice and coffee. But then there's 11%...

tax an 18% service charge on top of that. So I know I'm going to exceed $50. If I don't get the $50 credit, I'm going to get the $10 bagel with cream cheese and then I'm also going to get the juice and coffee. This is insane. I've only had 24 hours. I don't know if you memorized everything though. Doug, there's two different hotels at this location. Can you tell us the difference? The differences and then what are your preferences? Well,

Can we just say? Yeah, we can say it. Okay, so there's the Wynn and then there's Encore at the Wynn. Oh, those are nice. They're big, big rooms. 745 square feet? That's only at the Encore. The Wynn is 660 square feet. I'm still bigger than the Crockford. I do like the Encore because they have the separate elevators. I've never been to either. So I'm excited, but I don't want to get too excited because as we know from last with TrumpCon, I was all excited to stay at the Crockford's.

and I ended up at the Conrad. No Theragun. But you can't go wrong here. If you're at the Encore or the Wynn, it doesn't matter. Yeah, they're pretty similar. They both have the same mini bar menu, which is a $50 intimacy kit, which includes two condoms. That was my question. Two condoms, one thing of lube, and one...

This was interesting. How do they call it? A self-masturbatory... A male self-pleasuring sleeve. What? Is that a handy sock? Can you look up a male... I did. I want to see a picture. I think it's like a flesh jacket. I thought it was like a glove to wear for the HJs. Wait a minute. So...

Can I see what it is? The one that they come, it's going to be disposable. I think it's something just to... Oh, you can't just wash it like the flag. You can buy all this stuff for like $3 at the gift store outside. Well, I actually thought for $50 to get... Well, first of all, condoms. Chumps don't use condoms. Oh, they should. I know they should, but they don't.

That is not in that intimacy kit. No, you know what, Jameson? Is that a male self-pleasure sleeve? Oh, this is the flesh jack. That's a fleshlight. And those retail for more than the intimacy kit. You don't know what a fleshlight is? I've never seen that before. Masturbation sleeve. Put your penis in there? Yeah, it's a pocket pee. It's a pocket pee. People do that. Is that pleasurable? Have you used one of those before? Maybe. Just for research. You have? I have.

Oh, my God. Really? Is that better than your hand? It's just like an alternative. Sometimes you feel like you want to change it up. It's for lonely guys. Yeah. Okay. So that's... It's mostly more like this. It's more like... Remember... Do they come in different sizes or does it stretch? In the nature store, those things that were filled with glitter and liquid and they...

squish back and forth a toy. I'd pay $50 just to see what that is. Okay. Hopefully you have a room credit. Yeah, I don't think you want to use my per diem. There's no per diem mention. I know there isn't because I talked to Liat and she said, well, what would we need the per diem for because she said that she was going to have some sort of breakfast on the plane. Oh.

That's nice. Yeah, they do it right. Wait a minute. It's at that private, you know, I've never been on a private plane before and I'm very excited. Are you serious? No, never. What are you, a Martian? Do you know, I've never been on, this is going to be a lot of firsts. I've also never gambled at like a

A table. Really? I've only done slot machines my whole life. I've never gambled at a table before. We need to play blackjack. That's 21. Hold. Yeah, that's one of the tables. Fine. Good. She told me craps, blackjack, and roulette. Oh my God, fine. And I even, you know, I did text Liat to thank her and I asked her for some of the brand messaging and the attributes and the hashtags. Fortune, when you're really rich, you have, they bring the tables to your room.

The whole table? Yeah, they're bringing three tables. No, part of the table. To their suite. They do? Yeah. Wow. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. So they have three dealers, plus they have a cocktail waitress.

Oh my God. You'd have to be spending a lot of money though. They bring it to Trevor's room. That type of gambling stresses me out. Well, you can't do that now. Wait, is there like a 25 cents? You're about to do Utopia 2 money. What's the minimum for this gambling? That's the thing. No, there's none. Could I do 25 cents? I think it's like a dollar. Okay, I could do a dollar. No, you could do, there's no minimum. I think there's no minimum and there's no, was there no maximum, no minimum? Right. All you have to worry about is the minimum part.

I won't even do nickel I'll do 25 cent minimum yeah I am a little preoccupied with that male self pleasure sleeve we could get one yeah I think it's easy enough to order you could get that on Amazon for like $10 go down Santa Monica we'll get them down the street huh

You know what doesn't belong in your epic summer plans? Getting burned by your old wireless bill. While you're planning beach trips, barbecues, and three-day weekends, your wireless bill should be the last thing holding you back. Make the switch to Mint Mobile. With plans starting at $15 a month, Mint Mobile gives you premium wireless service on the nation's largest 5G network. All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and tech.

The coverage and speed you're used to, but way less money. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile. So while your friends are sweating over data overages and surprise charges, you'll be chilling, literally and financially. This year, skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com slash jefflewis. That's mintmobile.com slash jefflewis.

Upfront payment of $45 for three-month five-gigabyte plan required. Equivalent to $15 per month. New customer offer for first three months only. Then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details.

You do everything you can to keep your cat healthy, giving them the best treats, food and toys. So why not use the best litter too? Pretty litter helps monitor your cat's health, detecting abnormalities in your cat's urine by testing acidity and alkalinity levels and showing the visible presence of blood.

You know how much my animals mean to me, and as they get older, I love being able to get ahead of potential illnesses. Plus, I love that Pretty Litter is lightweight and ships right to my door. Its non-clumping formula traps odor, and it's keeping my home smelling great. Right now, save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy at prettylitter.com slash jeff. That's prettylitter.com slash jeff to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy.

PrettyLitter.com slash Jeff. Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details. In

In case you haven't heard, the newest fashion trend is finding clothes that feel good and last. And that's where Quince comes in. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples will become your new everyday essentials. Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners.

I just got an adorable organic cotton dress for my daughter for spring and summer. That's perfect for school or a dinner date with dad. Plus the Mongolian cashmere sweaters I ordered a little while back continue to work with my wardrobe from season to season. Not to mention I love the quality versus the cost. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash Jeff for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.

That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Jeff to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash Jeff.

All vetted and all way more affordable than you think.

I love to snack, and Thrive helps me feel not so bad about those snacking urges. I can't get enough of their healthier versions of beef jerky and potato chips. Plus, I'm loving their options for fragrance-free household cleaners. Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to thrivemarket.com slash jeff to get 30% off your first order and a free $60 gift. That's thrivemarket.com slash jeff. thrivemarket.com slash jeff.

We got some great news at the break. Yeah, what did we get? Doug? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, the news from Monica Casey. Yes. If you order room service at the Encore at the Wynn, and if you get a cheeseburger, it comes in its own sizzling skillet. Get out! I need a cheeseburger! Monica texted me. We hadn't even gone to break, and Monica's like, room service cheeseburgers come out sizzling on a skillet? I had no idea. What if we get that for lunch on Sunday? Well...

Fortunately, truly, I looked at their full day of in-room dining. So there is like the 12 to 6 p.m., the 6 p.m. to midnight. Then there's a 24-hour service, which includes like a $36 shrimp cocktail, caviar service. $36? Well, how many shrimp? The cheeseburger is on the 24-hour.

Okay, this is what I think we should do. Since you and I are sharing a two-bedroom suite. Yeah. He's talking to Shane. Yeah, which by the way is 3,500 square feet. Wow. That's not enough room. That's more than twice the size of my house. Three of my apartments. You guys don't even smell each other's cheeseburgers. Well, I was thinking since we're roomies, we should get the sizzling cheeseburger, split it, and that'll carry us to dinner. God, I hope we can wait for dinner.

Trevor to get that bill, that dinner bill off their chumps. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. He invited Joey. He knows what he's doing. Oh, Joey's going to eat some food. I don't want to sit next to Joey because he eats, whenever they put the plate down, he grabs the whole damn thing. Oh, because it'll be family style? Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to fight him for food. He should be on the other side of the table. What I'm really excited about is to try the drink interior products.

Yes. Oh, we have them every day. I have one every morning. I had the cilantro ones and I gave you your favorite pomegranate. I love the pomegranate. Yeah, there you go. Nice. We'll see. It gets me through so I don't have to eat breakfast because I'm trying to do that. What is it? Intermittent fasting. Don't try so hard. You've got to eat. Jeff said, you know what I like about you? You eat.

I was like, yeah, I have never been accused of not eating. No, I like going to dinner with you because we can get this appetizer and that appetizer. Yeah, and then we can split each other's entrees. Yeah, yeah. But if you have a juice, it's not fasting, right? Why do you like this? Don't yuck our yum. It's not intermittent fasting. Wait, you should, I like that shirt today. You should wear that on a date. It's like a seafoam green. It's very vibrant and friendly. But it's better than seafoam. It's inviting. Wink.

It is inviting. That's a first date shirt. Can I borrow that first date shirt? Sure, you can. Oh, I think it's a little small. No, I don't. This guy today is on a roll. It is true. Jameson is, I mean, that's a size zero. Okay.

Now, things aren't all bad for you right now. You've got a lot going on. What is wrong with you? You're going to have to try harder, Jeff. Jesus Christ. No, I'm just saying, like, I follow. Look, friends, I follow your career. You've got so much going on. I'm a busy gal. First of all, we do need to promote your stand-up. Oh, that would be nice. Well, first of all, before you go to see her live, before you go. Yeah.

I strongly recommend you see Crushing It First on Netflix. Thank you. Then you go to Taking Care of Biscuits, the comedy tour. Yeah. All right. So you've got June 5th and 6th in St. Louis. That's right. You have June 7th in Kansas City. Yeah. I need people to come to that 4 p.m. show. Okay. Yeah. There's a 4 p.m. show. You can go to the show and then dinner. I actually really like that. It's really fun.

All right, so what do you want at all the events here? Oh, I have Mulvane, Kansas, which is like Wichita. Vegas, I'm doing the Palazzo Theater in Vegas, June 14th. That's big. I know. Lexington, Kentucky, Knoxville, Tennessee, Asheville, North Carolina, Lincoln, California, and then a ton of dates just got released, like Chicago, Boston, D.C., Atlanta.

It's all on my website. But the tour is really fun. If you want to see Miss Fortune, go to fortunefeimster.com for dates, for cities, for venues, for times and tickets. Do you have different people opening for you at each of these? Yeah. Oh, look at him inquiring. Do you need someone? I can do 7, 59, and 56 seconds to 8 p.m. You can tell your Sunday joke. Yeah. I got two jokes now. They have like a little small circle that rotates around.

Because you can't use the same openers that you used last tour in the same city. You know what I mean? Oh, okay. I got to bring somebody new. We got to keep talking about this. I mean...

It's impressive how much you have going on. So you have What a Joke with Papa and Fortune, and that's weekdays on Netflix as a joke radio. Then you've got your hit podcast, Handsome. Yeah. Okay, so then you've got season two of FUBAR. That returns on June 12th. I forgot. Oh, that's coming up. We love that show. Yeah, it's on Netflix. Then you've now signed on for two movies with the Will Ferrell. Yeah, I just filmed last week his new movie for Amazon. Then you're now doing-

the voice of nibbles on Zootopia too. Nibbles the beaver. Oh, if anyone knows beaver. Zootopia too. Yeah, that would be out. That would be out. How dare you? This is Disney. Not a stretch. I can't wait for that. It's actually going to be really cool. There's a lot going on, but you know, you can't have it all. I'm fairly not. I just want my mom to be okay. That's my, that's my priority. Um,

So you should look into that. I'll get you the name of that clinic. Okay, thank you. I think you should look into that. You should try everything. Listen, my mom went to Germany to have all of her teeth pulled out when she was first diagnosed with cancer, and then she lived in remission. It's been over 50, 40 years now. That's amazing. I'm going to go see her this weekend, actually. I think I'm going to

I'm going wig shopping. But now things have changed. Things are different now. Yes, for sure. She's got a very valuable apartment in Central Park West. Now he's not having to hold on as much. I'm going to go see- Let go, Mom. It's okay. I'm going to see my mom this weekend. I'm going to take her wig shopping. Oh, really? Yeah, because she starts chemo soon. I'm going to take her, and then I'm going to the soccer game, Carolina FC. You should get her a fortune wig. You should do a fortune wig.

That would be hilarious. That would be so sweet. I actually now really want to get her a curly wig. It might be hard to find, but I'm sure you could...

I'll find something. You should sell them. Fortune merch. Miss Fortune merch. I actually pulled up to my show in Greensboro a couple weeks ago and there were four people that I saw putting on wigs of me. No. And I stopped the car and I rolled down the window and I said, hey, you guys. And they looked at me and they were like, hey. And I'm like, that's it? That's your response? You're literally dressing like me. Maybe they thought it was you. I don't think they thought it was me. I was like,

the look and they're like thanks she thought you were another fan wannabe yeah thanks for listening if you want more of this listen to Jeff Lewis live every weekday on Sirius XM as well as the Jeff Lewis channel exclusively on the Sirius XM app

Firestone Complete Auto Care's epic savings event is the sign you need to stop putting off your car's maintenance. And you can save up to $100 on tires and services while you're at it. Don't wait. Call Firestone Complete Auto Care for an appointment. At RX Bar, they believe in simple nutrition without the BS. That's why they said no to artificial ingredients and yes to deliver intentional, transparent nutrition. Try their original 12-gram protein bar, the nut butter and oat bar, or minis.

RxBAR, the proud sponsor of No BS. Use code RxBAR on RxBAR.com for 25% off. Subject to full terms and conditions and to change. Valid until September 30, 2025 and may not be combined with other offers. See RxBAR.com for full details and limitations.