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cover of episode Election/Olympics Edition - Emergency Pod

Election/Olympics Edition - Emergency Pod

2024/8/9
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Tosh Show

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Daniel Tosh: 我对特朗普遇刺未遂事件的看法是,我认为上帝既拯救了他,也射伤了他。这是一种神秘的方式,我对此表示庆幸,但也认为这表明枪支管制无效,我们需要更多枪支。同时,我也庆幸自己没有花很多钱在安保上,因为连前总统候选人都能被袭击。 关于拜登退选,我认为这很有趣,他可能会在任期最后几个月做出一些激进的举动。甚至可能再次参选。 对于巴黎奥运会,我对开幕式引起基督徒不满的事件感到好笑,我认为基督徒应该更强硬地回应批评,才能避免被嘲笑。我还对奥运会体操比赛男女项目规则差异、冲浪比赛的转播方式、皮划艇比赛等提出了批评,认为这些比赛的赛制不合理,观赏性差。我甚至认为奥运会奖牌的意义并非完全相同,不同项目的奖牌含金量不同。 Eddie: 作为节目的另一位主持人,Eddie在节目中主要负责与Daniel Tosh进行互动,回应他的观点并补充一些信息。他并没有提出自己独立的、系统的观点,而是通过与Daniel Tosh的对话来推动节目的发展。例如,在讨论特朗普遇刺未遂事件时,Eddie只是简单地回应了Daniel Tosh的观点,并没有表达自己的看法。在讨论奥运会时,Eddie也主要负责提供一些背景信息,例如奥运会奖牌的统计等。

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Daniel returns from a month off the grid in Tahoe and discusses how he was disconnected from the world events during his time away.

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Hit the sirens. Are those the sirens we've used? Why don't I? I have to look it up. You should have done that before we started the emergency pod. I just got back from Tahoe. Now, you wouldn't know that from watching the show because this show now runs like clockwork. We're having episodes drop every Tuesday, 6 a.m. West Coast.

But the reality, I was gone for one month. I was not here. And when I'm in Tahoe, when I'm in the mountains, I'm off grid. My phone's in airplane mode the entire time. I'm getting no intel of what's going on in the real world. I'm up there with my R6 Cobalt. By the way, is Cobalt a sponsor of this show? Because they should be. Man, I love my 2023 Cobalt R6. All right. Anyway, so I...

I had a great time with my family and friends on the lake, and now I'm back. And I'm told it was a busy month. Eddie, what'd I miss? You missed a lot, buddy. Someone tried to assassinate Donald Trump. Whoa! Are you talking about his character? No, his ear.

His ear. But I'm glad that he's still alive. And I don't know if he can hear this or not, but that's, yeah, that's big. I'm sure people have, have people been talking about it? Oh, yeah. Yeah? A lot of banter. A lot of back and forth. Okay, so a lot of people have their take. Well, I tell you what, I'm glad God saved him.

Has anyone said that? Have they been courageous enough to openly say that God saved him? Now, if that is true and that is what you believe, which I'm totally okay with, then you also have to accept that God shot him. Oh, interesting. Yeah, yeah. Mysterious ways. This is probably an unnecessary take on

to an assassination attempt. But, you know, you think about how many Second Amendment nuts would be at this rally. And I think the lesson is that there's not enough guns. Right. We need more guns. Everybody. Because clearly that didn't help the situation. Here's another thing I'll say. When something like this happens...

to somebody like that, it always makes me feel good that I don't spend a fortune on security. Because if somebody can do that to a presidential candidate that has secret service, a former president of America, then what chance do I have? None. If somebody wants to take a shot at me, it's going to happen. So I'll just stick with my ring cam.

And hope for the best. Anyway, you know, good job to everyone on his security team. And your medals and walking papers are in the mail. Right? They didn't do a good job. All right.

What did I miss? Anything else? Yeah. We got a Biden dropped out of the race. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. Started doing tons of drugs with Hunter. Now he's talking about revamping the entire Supreme court because he's got zero fucks to give. I hope you're right. I hope that old geriatric son of a bitch has the best time for his final six months in office. Just darts.

paying off every kid's student loans, starts mailing out abortion pills to everyone in the South, just banning shit left and right, start making new laws. Guns are illegal. You're not allowed to stand during the national anthem.

Just really, really go out with a bang. He dropped out, right? Right. So he is eligible to run again in 2028. Technically, yeah. Oh, that'd be great. I think an older Biden, a wiser, more mature Biden, that'll be fun to watch. You know what? What really should happen? Trump should be like, oh, because I was beating Biden, you have him drop out. So he should be able to complain at that game. He drops out.

Huh? And guess who he gets to replace him? Who? You take a guess. Joe Biden? Did I guess it? No, no. I like that. He drops out, gets Joe Biden to run. Oh, man. The RNC would have a fit. People would lose their mind. People wouldn't know. Are eggs going to get more expensive or less? I don't even know. Oh, man. All right. I

I miss anything else? The Olympics kicked off. No, I watched a lot of the Olympics in Paris, France. Oh, beautiful. And the opening ceremony that got people upset. In the moment, it didn't even register. I just thought they were just reenacting famous pieces of artwork. But that upset a lot of the Christians. You wouldn't make fun of Muslims like this. Well, yeah, no shit because they'll kill us.

You know, Christians need to up their game. You know, if somebody tells a joke about you and then you like strap some TNT to your chest and blow the whole community up,

We'll stop making those jokes. I watched a lot of the Olympics. I'll be honest with you. I didn't tune into everything. I think some people would be surprised of what I was interested, what I wasn't interested in. Let me say this too about the gymnastics. Between the male and the female. I mean, can we even call them women anymore? I mean, it's getting so complicated. Do you know what the only difference between male and female on the floor exercise is?

As far as I can tell. Do not. There's no music for the men. Ah.

No, we're too manly to have music. So they take out a few of those dumb elements where you're like, after Simone Biles does 20 flips in the air, then she has to strike a pose and do some weird dance for five seconds. They don't do that, and there's no music in the men, and the men do like one little breakdance routine. But for the most part, it's just get to the corners, relax,

run and do a bunch of flips and try to stick it and not go out of bounds. And I just, I can't help but think in my head, they're like, why can't the men...

Like, I don't think, oh, why do the women have to have music? Oh, because they want to make it sexier for the women and men. They want to make it cooler. Like we don't need music. We're not dancing. We're too cool for that. I disagree. I think we need music for both of them. I think, yeah, let's take off a 10th. If you don't shake your hips, fellas, shake your hips. What about surfing? Colin Joss was sent home because medical reasons. What? Colin? Colin Johansson? He surfs?

He was a correspondent. All right, here we go. I'm going to have to do a surfing rant. Tune out if you don't care. I love surfing. I've surfed my whole life. I don't tune in because the coverage is stupid. The announcers, and I'm not talking about Colin. Colin might have done a great job, but they're always just trying to amp it up so much instead of going, oh, the surf sucks today, guys. The reason the scores are 2.5s.

is because the waves suck. You know, if you're watching a basketball game and a team isn't scoring, the announcers aren't like constantly reminding you, these are the greatest athletes in the world. They're like, ah, these guys suck right now. This is a boring game. Charles Barkley, this is unwatchable. So when it's, you know, head high and choppy, I'm not excited to see women's pro surfing in Chopu when the scores are 3.4. Oh, somebody didn't catch a wave?

That happened multiple times. Like somebody like, like didn't catch a wave. No sets came in. Oh, that was a fun 30 minutes. Wasn't it? Imagine if you're in track and field and, and they're like, well, I'm sorry. There's, there's no track for you in lane four. No, it didn't come. So deal with it. Here's another thing that, so it was into heating and was at this, this famous break that is very dangerous when it's big and heavy.

But they always do this in surfing, though the announcer was big. The water is only one inch deep and only these people can surf this. And it's not true.

It's just not true. Yes, when that place is firing, the lineup thins out. But the reality is all these places that they try to pretend are so impossible to surf. If there's not a pro contest, there's 200 people out surfing there and they're having fun and they're not dying on every wave. It's one inch deep. If that person goes one more foot deeper,

their leg would be cut off. Shut up. There's a million other reasons I can explain why it's bad. Nobody watches it. Who has that kind of time? So it's at one break, and then there's two people in the water at a time. Imagine if they held the Olympics tennis tournament, but you only played it on one court, and that's how long it was. Oh, okay. Does anybody have 14 hours today to kill to watch this?

Like, it's nonsense. Tennis gets it right. If there's a star player, you get to play on the best court at the best time, and they don't care that it's not a complete even playing field, that some other random guy plays some...

side court that nobody's watching. Whatever. Surfing needs to adapt that. They need to be like, okay, here's the marquee players. They get to surf this break at this time and it all happens at one time and the rest of the people are at some crappy beach break down the street. Like, get it going. Honestly, I can go on. I watched the tennis and I was furious at the finals for men's where Alcarez choked away two tiebreakers. You had Djokovic's number and then

oh and then he then to watch him fake weep on the court like he's just so calculated i don't buy it for a second that's the problem i watch the olympics and then i just become a hater i don't want to be a hater another thing i'm gonna say about the olympics i'm on a crazy tear here all medals aren't the same can we agree simone wins a medal

Wow. Amazing. And the parents and the sacrifices that they went through for this. That's amazing. But when I watch it and I got to read it to make sure kayak cross small. No, I that look for it's a race.

in this kayak race and it's four people and they're in this little box that's 15 feet in the air. And then when it starts, it tilts down and the four kayakers fall off this thing 15 feet high and fall into this little makeshift river. And then they all paddle like crazy and they bang into each other and somebody misses a turn and the race is over. I'm just like, come on. I'm

I'm not, I don't want to see the story of what your parents sacrificed for this 40 year old guy to kayak this stupid little river. I wouldn't get emotional. I'm

My kid did it for my country in kayak cross small. Come at me in the comments about that one, about justifying how important it is to some country. By the way, did flag football start in the Olympics? Oh, I don't know yet. I didn't watch it. I didn't watch any flag football. I haven't seen any highlights. And why don't we send our pros? Send our pros for flag football. Oh, that'd be fun.

I wouldn't mind. Or better yet, send our retired pros. Way better. That'd be interesting. I know that one guy got real popular during the Olympics, the pummel horse guy. He was kind of a nerd, but he was a specialist on that apparatus, and he won bronze. But here's what I didn't understand about it. When he would take his glasses off, I mean, just immediately like, and then he does the routine. I'm like, well, keep your glasses on or get some contacts.

You might, instead of bronze, maybe you're getting silver. If you could see it. I almost felt like he was hamming it up. You think he was hamming it up? I think so. I think he was hamming it up. So anyway, the Olympics.

They were great. When do real sports start? Oh, soon. All right. So, yeah, the Olympics. We won the medal count. And isn't that all that matters? Although China will be like, well, we won more golds. But I don't know that that's true. I think it's not officially over yet. Right. So, whatever. All right. That's the end of the emergency pod. Eddie, hit the siren again. See you in four years.

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