Ep 170: Nurture Your Enoughness with Lily Gyamfi-Kumanini
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by Awesome Steps, how using a podcast can and will grow your business. So grab a glass of wine and pop your headphones on because girlfriend happy hour has begun here on The B Word. All right. Well, hey, Lily, welcome to The B Word. I am so excited to dive into this conversation with you today.

Hey girl. Hey, I'm so excited to be here. It feels like it was just yesterday that we were, you know, sitting around having a glass of wine and I love, I love, love, love when connections mean you don't have to talk every day, but when you do, they're just so powerful. Oh my goodness.

Like seeing your face and like the moment you just said that about sitting around having a glass of wine and like we shared food, I just got goosebumps because I remember how juicy our conversation was, how long it went on for and just how.

grateful I was to be able to have some real good girlfriend connection time with you and getting to know you and just realizing how much of a superstar, badass, and how many things we had in common too. Oh my gosh. Well, I feel the same way about you. And I know that my audience is going to absolutely just eat up this conversation today because you, my friend, have really just exploded onto the scene, I would say, for me in the last 18 months.

And I realize I've only known you about 12 months, but I'm going to go ahead and give you six months extra of credit. I'll take that. You literally stood up and you're like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to host retreats. I'm going to speak on stages. I'm going to breathe it into the universe and manifest it and see what happens. And boy, have I watched you just make shit happen. So let's start off by telling our audience, like what, what's going on with you right now in the world? How are you feeling? And what's up next for Lily?

Oh my goodness. That is such a powerful, huge, loaded question for me right now, especially because if I'm being really honest,

It's been so great to be able to explore this other side of myself and really see the ways in which I can turn, you know, my wants, my dreams into reality. And really like co-create with the universe, the life that I want for myself, as well as be an example for other women and how they can do that for themselves as well.

At the same time, however, you know, I got to be real and talk about the things that, you know, make me feel we were just talking about how I feel scrambled eggs. Like I feel like scrambled eggs right now. Like I just feel like there's so much happening. That's great. But at the same time, like that comes with a lot of stuff that we're not necessarily prepared for. And for me, that looks like all the ways in which I need to

elevate my business and elevate myself that I'm not always ready for. And, you know, the challenge is that we, we do want to be ready. But understanding that there's never a good time. So, you know, I'm, I'm having to really lean in and practice what I've reached.

Let go and let flow is a big statement of mine, which I'm trying to do. But it's hard when you see that there are these pieces that you need to, not that you need, that you want to put together ahead of its time. And so I'm in this place of like waiting right now, waiting in the sense of

I just, I got to go slow because that's what's called for in this moment. I don't have all the pieces, right? And so I just have to wait for them to fall into place. And they do and they will, but that's hard for a person like myself who likes to lead and likes and wants things to happen, right? I love how you refer to it as a season of scrambled eggs. Yes.

You know, I feel all, I have really felt called over the last six months that I've been in this season of getting ready to be ready. And now I'm entering the season of momentum and it is, it is overwhelming and it can sometimes make you just want to sit down in the middle of the bathroom floor and have that good, hard, like crosswalk.

cry, not because things are going wrong, but because you're just overwhelmed and tired and you're describing your season as scrambled eggs because everything's coming at you at once. And you can't quite pick out the pieces of what to do next. Like you can see the big vision, but not quite how to get there. Right? Yeah. I literally feel like, okay, so you know, when you let's like dig into this egg analogy further, right? Cause loving it. Maybe I'm hungry. I don't know. Right. Same. I'm like, I'm envisioning it even more, right? Like

for me when I'm making scrambled eggs, I don't always like beat them completely in the bowl or whatever. Right. Like, you know, because I'm in a hurry, usually when I'm doing it. So, you know, I'll whip them up a little bit and I pour them into the pan. Like, okay, I've done it. And now I'm, I'm waiting for that like moment for when I can start to like toss it around in the pan and start to scramble them. Right. But like,

For me right now, I feel like in the scrambled egg season or portion, I'm like, I'm tossing and I'm tossing and I'm tossing and I'm scrambling and I'm tossing and I'm moving them around. And oh, are they right? Not quite ready. Like I'm doing all of this preparing, waiting for when I feel like they're cooked, still knowing that it's really about

Like each of us has a different time. Like if you make your scramble eggs and I make my scramble eggs, they're not going to be the same. You're going to think they're ready before I think they're ready. And the universe might think they're ready before I think they're like, it's all of that that's happening for me. And I know I'm like belaboring the point and going on and on and on. But the more that I speak out loud about this, like in this conversation, actually the more settled I'm starting to feel about it being okay to

And that the way my scrambled eggs look today might not necessarily be how they look tomorrow. But it's okay that I'm making scrambled eggs because when I get to like dive into that meal and those that I get to share it with, get to have a portion of it, it's going to be great. It's going to be delicious. Well, and I can, I can think through how this would resonate with my audience. So many of them

are probably listening here right now saying, oh my gosh, Lily, I actually, I feel that too. I'm in that scrambled egg season. And to hear someone else who is having such massive success, give them permission to take that moment and create what they want to be creating and not quite know when it's going to be done and ready for the world to take a little sample of. I know for me as a generator, that is daunting, right?

But always having someone in your corner to say, girl, it's okay. Like you're supposed to have those moments. I think it's just a huge sign of relief to everyone. Oh, absolutely. And I love that you said you're a generator because I am too. And so, you know, generators, we're always cooking up something. Oh yeah. Always cooking up something. And I'm starting to really understand that as I am in this process of letting the eggs scramble and firm up,

It's really giving me an opportunity to, to see what's unfolding in front of me, rather than trying to react and, and, and catch up to something. You know, I've been doing a lot of that with the momentum, you know how momentum can like take a life of its own. And it starts, you become part of the machine and you start doing the things and you're doing all the great things.

But for me right now, it's like, okay, it's the things are all great, but what is really speaking to me in this moment? And that if it changes, like if that thing that's speaking to me changes, that that's okay, because I've been doing the work. I've been doing the work all along. I've been scrambling the eggs and sitting and waiting. And it's, it's going to be okay if I decide to change and whatever I give it towards, it's going to be even better because I allowed myself,

I allowed for that time for things to firm up and book and solidify and all of that. So yeah, I'm feeling like it's okay. And that's part of that. That is part of the message that I'm really into sharing right now that I'm enough of enough in this moment. All right. So that leads us into, you are speaking on several stages in 2024. And I know that you've been working on a new keynote. Yeah.

nurturing your enough, enough fullness. Like that's such a mouthful.

And I think you may have made up a word, but nurturing your enoughfulness. Tell us a little bit, give us that sneak peek into what that keynote will guide the audiences through. Yeah. So nurturing, it's nurturing enoughness, nurturing your enoughness. Oh, enoughness, not enoughfulness. Okay. That is way easier, girl. Yeah, it's easier, but I kind of like your enoughfulness because it is about fullness. But anyway, that's another conversation. But yeah, nurturing your enoughness is really like,

being okay with being all of who you are, being more than enough.

Being more than enough, understanding that you are already enough. You're already more than enough of a wife, a mom, a teacher, a leader, a sister, an aunt, you know, a project manager, whatever it is, like what you bring is enough. So why don't we stop and nurture that rather than feeling like we are constantly having to fix something to be enough because that's

When we allow ourselves to think about the ways in which we are not enough or the ways in which we need to improve and the ways in which we need to make changes or scramble a new batch of eggs.

We have totally coined something today. Exactly, right? We are perpetuating this idea that we aren't enough. We're actually then sitting in that not enough being, the place that we are trying to get ourselves out of. So if we can flip the script and reframe the idea of what not being enough actually is,

we realize that there's no real measuring stick. Like, what are you actually not enough of? Can you name that yourself? I'm not enough of a woman, me, what? I'm not enough of a mom, like compared to who, compared to what? Somebody else's like not enoughness. Like it's almost ridiculous, right? So I really want people to own, like my whole shtick is around, you know, owning your story and claiming your crown. And once you realize that you are enough

of enough, you can own all of who you are, bring that to whatever you do, and then start doing the work you're meant to do. And how have you seen that manifest in your own life over the last year, year and a half? And as you look forward into the next year, I've heard you talk about owning that crown and I love that analogy. So dive a little bit more into how you're owning your crown. Yeah. Yeah.

So this has really come forward a lot more in this, in this waiting season. And for me, it's, it's really about, okay, I'm just going to go there. Like, I want to bring, I want to bring and acknowledge the elephant in the room. So for me, that's,

That's a little bit more than being unapologetically me. That's really making people uncomfortable and to see all of me. Oh, I love that. Right? Like, I know one of the big things I'm bringing into this year is to remember who I am in every place and circumstance that I find myself in.

And for me personally, remembering who I am is also reminding people that I am a woman of color, that I am, you can't just judge me by my book, by the book, by its cover, sorry. That's how the expression goes, right? That just because I'm a woman of color doesn't mean that I should be left out of certain conversations or that I should not be at certain tables or be in certain rooms. Because if I am in a room with you,

There's something that you need to acknowledge beyond how I look. You need to also acknowledge what I am bringing to the table, which includes all of who I am and what my experiences are and have been in this life as a woman of color. I know that's a lot, but I feel now I'm in this place where it's so important for me to make that change.

the elephant in the room and for people to acknowledge it and to start having more conversation around that, because it's really challenging being in a space and trying to be authentic, genuine, vulnerable, all of the things that I preach, right? When I don't feel like I'm actually given the opportunity to be all of those things.

And if I'm not given the opportunity, creating space for me to be those things. And if that means I have to say something, do something, be a certain way, then I'm going to do it now. Okay. So this is, you know, a podcast called The B Word. You've known me for quite some time. So, you know, I'm going to go there, right? Yes. I want to know from you something that has been in my mind for quite some time. And I hope I'm phrasing this correctly.

I'm sure that there's a balance that you have to walk almost every single day between walking

your experiences being a woman of color and getting left out of conversations and rooms. And because you're a woman of color being brought in to hit that diversity piece. And I feel like our culture right now is so, oh my gosh, we have to have inclusion. We have to do diversity and I'm all for it. But have we tipped over the scale to where now as a woman of color, we're

Are there those moments where you're like, am I here just to check the box? And how do you manage and navigate that? Girl, girl, you know, I'm going to go there. Yeah, let's go there, girl. This is the hot topic in my world these days. Like in my mind, this is it. You have hit the nail on the head. Let me tell you. So the time, the girl time that we had that we made reference to at that event was

um, where I spoke, that is what I was. Those were the feelings I was managing at the back of the room. Well, and God bless the event that we were at. I was well aware that that's why part of why you were brought into the room, but, and your voice and power was so good. It was still a great, like it was the right voice and power on that stage. But I was just, you know, I was, I was wondering in the back of my mind, okay,

I hope she takes this experience for what it is, that great opportunity to get you out into the world and doesn't let the damper of, but could like, was she brought here in order to check a box of speakers on the stage? Yeah. Yeah. And I'm going to say it like I do realize, you know, on more than one occasion, and I know moving forward that that's in large part going to be the reason why I'm in the room, but I

The experience that I have and the experience that I see women having, like, okay, this is me tooting my own horn right now, but, you know, after I speak, does speak volumes. And it's just affirmation and validation each and every time that

Although, you know, there was a specific route that was taken for me to be in that room. Thank God for it. Yeah, it gives me the opportunity to share my story, share my message and be a voice for those people in the room that maybe don't have a voice. And, you know, that's not necessarily the people of color that are in the room because girl, you know, like.

At that particular event, I was the only visible person of color in that room. But because I spoke about that, there were people that I didn't even realize were struggling with their identity and being validated and affirmed because of, you know, their identity with race that it just made me feel so much

more confident to be able to, to walk into more spaces and share part of this message. But going back to your question about like, how do I find the balance? I don't really know that I've figured that out. I think what I tap into being a person who relies heavily on energy and intuition, I let that lead the way. Love that. Yeah. I, I, you know,

There are so many things I'm involved in where I, you know, I've got to be an advocate. I have to put on the advocacy hat and I have to be strident in my language and in the way I present myself. But in these situations where, you know, I'm really speaking from the heart and speaking about something like sharing my story, I have to put some of that aside and just trust that I'm there for a bigger purpose.

And so I have to put the politics aside. And you are. Thank you. I mean, you touch me every time I hear you speak. I'm like, oh, she's so good. She's just so good. I'm like the cheering section in the back, you know, jumping up and down. Get yourself on all the stages, friend.

Thank you, girl. I just, you know, it meant a lot being able to look in the audience and see you there and see the way that you were cheering me on because of some of the, you know, heart to heart conversations that we had had prior. So, you know, thank you for seeing me and thank you for giving me a platform to share, you know, some of my deeper thoughts and visions. Absolutely. All right. So what is the one takeaway that you want every girl out there listening to this episode today?

To just hold close to her heart. That you are meant for more. And I know we say that a lot. We hear that a lot, but we really are. I mean, that you are designed for a purpose. You are uniquely designed for something specific.

And you can bring that into every place in space that you are in every person that you touch in any form that, that works for you, be the best and be all of who you are in any of those circumstances. If that's being a stay at home mom, be the best day at home mom, take your experiences and your wisdom and pour that into being the best mom that you can be. There's

we have to put comparison aside and put the shoulds aside. And lastly, it's a new, or this new thing that I'm kind of developing and working on in the background that I'm hoping to share with, with my audience very soon is an acronym that I want to share with you now. And it's crown. Cause you know me, I'm all about that thing. And it's,

consciously recognize one woman now. Oh, oh, I love that. Okay. Give us a little bitty sneak peek into the crown message before we let the audience go, because I know it's going to leave them like so juicy wanting more. And then we're going to tell them where to go and find you. So dive a little more into the crown. Yeah. So look,

To consciously recognize somebody means to actually acknowledge them. And if that is, you know, if that's a person, a woman that's beside you looking into their eyes, if it's picking up the phone, like pick up the phone and call someone, listen to their voice, really take the time to recognize what you're hearing on the other end.

If that's sending a message to somebody, to a woman you haven't spoken to in a while, or a woman that you see is doing the thing, doing it well, if she's struggling, whatever it is, but be conscious about it. You know, put intention behind acknowledging and recognizing that woman for who she is. Oh my gosh. And just imagine if we all did that, even one day a week or a month,

Much less if you can get this movement going, cause I'm already envisioning this where we do it every day. That's right. Holy cow. All right, ladies. I, I mean the chills and I don't normally get chills, but chills. Oh my gosh. This is how you, this is how you crown. This is how you crown each other. Okay. So tell everyone where with great intentionality, cause we're all about that here on the B word. I understand you're probably on all the socials, but where do you want to connect with them the most?

Instagram. Instagram. Lily GKS. That's L I L Y G K S. Okay. And we will make sure that we put that clink, uh, click clink.

see, I'm already thinking about my wine for the evening. We will put that clickable into the show notes. You guys can always head over to our blog, the B word podcast, and we will get every little piece of information and way for you to get ahold of Lily as possible. But until next time, my friend, thank you so much. You guys keep putting one step in front of the other. You've got this. I will see you same time, same place next week.

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