Bunnie Xo: How I Became The Woman My Younger Self Needed | Life Worsts (Throwback Episode)
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- I just think that I've been through so much and I know you have been through so much and you have this crazy life story. - I sucked a lot of dicks to get here. - Yeah, all of us. - Didn't we all?

Well, relatable. I feel like that's everyone in this room, including Mike. Guys, we are back on This is the Worst, and we are here with our amazing guest, Bunny. You know her from the Dumb Blonde podcast. She is the significant other of Mr. Jelly Roll. Daddy. And I have been following you for a long time, and I'm just so happy to have you here. Dude, I am so honored that you guys even had me here. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Dude, you know what's crazy is when I first got on TikTok-

people had been messaging me about your podcast and people would literally hit me up all the time and go, you need to go on Bunny's podcast. You need to go on Bunny's podcast. You need to go on Bunny's podcast. And then I checked you out and I was like, this is a down ass bitch. No, I love you. You're just fucking chill, man. So are you though. I love that. I love that about you too though. Yeah, like. I think what drew me to you was that you are so, such a like,

Just like a down-home personality. Like you can really read people over the internet. I know that there's a lot of people who could put on masks, but you just have always been like, this is who I am. And if you don't like it, fuck off. But she does it so sweetly too. Well, she's a very sweet person. That's the thing. She's very guarded and she doesn't have a lot of people in her life. But the one she has in her life, she treats like kings and queens. Like if you're in Britney's circle, it's very, very fortunate. No, she's a sweetie pie. And when I saw her going through some shit online, I was just like, no.

And anytime she goes through anything. Be good to my girl. My best friend that I don't even, haven't even met yet. Literally right now. Like you get protective over people. Yeah. I'm like, I'll drive a fucking car through their living room. Like let me know when it's ready, when we got to be hood. Cause I'm ready to go. I'm ready. Let's go. I'm always down to get ratchet. No, there's like, dude, I just think it's, I've been through so much and I know you have been through so much and you have this crazy life story.

And I was just like, wow, to hear all that. And like, you're sober and, you know, you've come up from, you know, your crazy life. And, you know, I just am like, wow, it's like, it's sucked a lot of dicks to get here. Yeah.

Well, relatable. I feel like that's everyone in this room, but including Mike. I can't take compliments if you can't tell. I'm always like, woo, let me throw it right back at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but it's fucking crazy. And like, I mean, so when did it all start to turn around for you? Um...

Probably when I got sober 2016, I had gotten out of a really, really bad domestic violence relationship where I was almost lost in my life a couple times. It was really bad. And 2017, I think that's when my spiritual awakening started. And I was just like, I want to do better with my life. I don't want to fucking be this...

Girl, you know, because I grew up in the adult entertainment industry and I was just stuck in survival mode. I've been on the street since I was 14. So you get to this point where you just don't want to be that person anymore. You know, we got full custody of my husband's daughter, Bailey. And I just was like, I don't want to be a bad example for this little girl. She deserves to be everything that she needs to be in this life. And I never want to be that person that inflicts more trauma on her.

So it was just a series of things. And I think just you get tired of shit and you just want to be a different human. You want to be a good human. Yeah. So I saw this on a podcast where Jelly was talking about how you got you basically said, I don't know where this relationship is going to go with you and I, but I'm going to help you get custody of this girl. Like I thought what fortitude that must take for you to even have the foresight to protect someone else's child. Like, can you talk to me about how you got that?

there with like that decision. Yeah. And I, I, that clip went viral and I did that because it was the right thing to do. And I never wanted, like, I've never talked about it and I never ever wanted to draw attention to the fact that I did do that for,

you know, my family. But it was me being the woman that I needed. You know, I need that little girl needed a woman. I mean, my little girl needed a woman like me. And I never got that. So that was my opportunity to be that woman for Bailey. Yeah. So one of my favorite quotes that I read recently was saying that you're the adult that you needed when you were younger right now.

which I thought that was just like so powerful because I think, you know, when you do go through childhood trauma, you don't have a really strong adult figure. And then when you grow up, you're afraid to have kids because you don't want to continue the abuse and continue the trauma. But then what you don't realize is that you've done so much healing that you could be that person to a child, which is really beautiful. So that's an amazing story. I love that. Yeah.

And I see like now your dad is, how is your dad doing? Good old Bill Cephas. Is he still hanging in there?

there he is he's you know it's crazy because he was literally on his deathbed like fucking three months ago they gave him three months to live he was he looked terrible and i was like dad you're coming to nashville with me let's get you out of here let's you know see what we can do at vanderbilt and he has been doing this thing called like spooky something and it's like um so

some sort of vibrational waves for his body and it he's gained 15 pounds he's doing so much better his test results are like getting so much better like I didn't believe him because I'm like in a weird holistic shit too and I get it honestly from him but when he brought this thing out and was like I'm gonna sleep in these lights and do all this and I was like yeah right dad I was like we need to fucking do chemo we need to do something and he's like nope I'm doing this and it's really fucking working so

So you have a relationship with him, like a good relationship. And then is it your, so was he around when you were younger? Like, I just want to know more about you. Like your mom, like was your mom not a good mom and what happened? Like how did you end up in the, in the adult entertainment industry? So when I was three months old, so my mom was a stripper. My dad was a musician. Um, when my dad, when I was three months old, my mom left me on a doorstep, um, while my dad was in the hospital. Um,

I was told that he was put in the hospital from shooting up cocaine. He ended up getting hepatitis.

Um, but then he tries to tell me it was from the food, but I was like, why would you be in a hospital for that? Like, come on dad. Like whatever, whatever. Either way. I still love you. It doesn't matter. Um, and it took him like two weeks to find me when he got out. She ran off with his Oregon player. Um, my dad raised me from the time that I was a baby. He immediately divorced her because she dropped me on somebody's doorstep. Never heard from my mom until I was 22 again. Um,

And I had a severely abusive stepmom who the abuse was just emotional, physical. It was really bad. And I had enough of it. By the time I turned 14, I was like, fuck this. I'm out of here. You know, there was a bunch of people that I was around that I knew at such a young age that I did not want to be like.

It was like when I was 14, I was like, no, I'm going to grow up and do my own fucking thing. And I never went home. I never went back, never got another dollar from my parents, cut my dad off, didn't talk to him. Of course, I had a couple of run-ins with them and stuff like that. But as far as getting into the adult industry, I...

got cheated on by a guy who was cheating on me with a stripper. And I've always had like this moral compass because I had a lot of religious trauma after my dad remarried. He got caught cheating and then became like a Bible thumper. And it was like, wasn't allowed to listen to secular music, had to wear skirts down to my

ankles like it was crazy yeah so I always had this like moral compass of like I can't do that oh my gosh you know and then I got cheated on and I was like you know what hold my fucking beer I can do this you know motherfucker you want to cheat on me she can do it I can

do better sit down bitch yeah let me take my fucking top off hold my crucifix yeah yeah literally i just got the i just got the crosses tattooed on me yeah yeah for real she's on you with a stripper it's your mom yeah oh fuck damn it we're not in alabama um so yeah that's kind of how i got into the adult industry was stripping and then and then yeah so you know once you've been dancing for so long you get to a point where you're like

Do I want to go to the club and dance all night long and, you know, fucking have to get fucked up and have to do this? Or do I want to just go turn a trick for 15 minutes and make double what I would make in the club? Wow. So then do people like approach you in the club?

in the club and be like, hey, good looking? Like, hey, I just imagine like, I just imagine like, I just don't know how it works at all. I'm like clearly like very like not involved in this at all. But like a pimp just walks in in a purple jacket and it's all fuzzy. He's like, I almost made it, little girl. Like, how does that? So they, pimps were a thing back in, back in my day. And, but I never,

was with that. Oh, okay. I've always... So my thing was like when I got into the sex industry was kind of like taking my power back because I was molested as a little girl and then I got raped by somebody that I really liked and thought he was my boyfriend, you know? So I kind of hated men and then my dad was so absent and didn't protect me so...

adult work, adult, you know, whatever we want to call it, escorting. And just being in the industry was more of like me being like, you can't touch me unless you're going to pay me. You can't like if you want to spend time with me, you have to pay me, you know. And I know people are still like, oh, well, you're still exploiting yourself. But at that time, they don't know what it's a little girl inside of me. And in my mind was like, this is how I'm going to make them pay, you know. So I forgot what I was where I was going with that.

with that. No, no, no. You were explaining how like there's not really pimps anymore. Okay. Yeah. And so like pimps would definitely come in the club and they would try to like break you is what they call it. And they ended up loving me because they would call me like their little renegade because they could never get me to like join forces with them. But I was always protective of their girls and I would always look out for their girls. And like, you know, if there was ever a problem, I was always just very protective of them, but I always did my own thing. I just

couldn't see me going off and turning a trick and then bringing my money back to a man. Yeah. I was just like, no, I couldn't do that. Yeah. So what was your worst experience as a call girl? Like the worst thing that ever happened?

There was a few. I've gotten punched in my face before and held in like hotel rooms and stuff like that. Yeah, that's happened before. But I think one of like the, this isn't funny. It's funny-ish. But I used to like call myself like Robin Hood. I would like rob from the rich and give to the poor and I was the poor, you know? Give me money, bitch. Who's it going to? Me, motherfucker. Yeah.

literally that's exactly how I thought of things yes so um there's this thing in Vegas called like services and you can sign up and what they do is they send you on calls to like hotel rooms and stuff like that what yeah and it's totally like a thing in Vegas it's totally a thing in Vegas I'm probably like gonna blow the cover off of dead everyone at home's like googling it they're trying to get on it listen if

They probably know because you know the guys that are on the corners like slapping stuff? Yeah, those papers. Yes, that's for escort services. Oh, shit. Yeah. So one night, I never did house calls, but I was fucking, I needed money. And they were like, hey, we're going to send you this house call. This dude's hella rich, whatever. I'm like, okay. But I brought my girlfriend with me because I already knew I was just going to rob the dude. Normally what I would tell them is that,

Is that bad? I brought my friend in a gun. No guns. No guns. Allegedly. I'm just kidding. Statute of limitations isn't up on this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm just kidding. But like, so what I would do is I would go and I would get the fee. Like if you go, you say you have to go into a call. You say, hey, I need 500 up front. That's my service fee. And then we'll work on whatever's after. God, I'm like giving some...

Give him the game away. Wow. And so what I would do is always get that fee, steal it, and then tell them, oh, they didn't have enough money for me. And then I would always get to pocket the money. So that was like my little hustle. I would hustle the services. But anyways, we went to this fucking house, walk in. He had some...

This dude deserved to be robbed. He had fucking he had child porn playing on the TV. Yes, it was horrific. And as soon as I walked in, I just like immediately felt my insides like crumble. And I was like, you need to turn that off right now. Yeah. And he was like, OK, OK, OK. Because I was getting like really aggressive with him. Yeah.

And the thing is, is if you leave a call, the services are not for the girls. They're for, you know, they'll like fire you or like you can't leave a call. So normally if in that situation, I would have walked out and left because I don't condone that behavior at all.

but I had to get the money from the dude. And so he was like, okay, okay, I'm sorry. And I was just like, dude, what are we doing? He leads me into this hospital room. In his house? In his house. He has a room that has a hospital bed in it that has one of the IV things, and it had an enema tip on the bag, right? And he was like, I want you to give me a cocaine enema. And I'm like...

All right. I'm like, cause I knew I wasn't going to do it, but I was like, all right, well get naked and lay on the bed, but you got to give me, of course you give money up front. And I was like, you need to give me like a thousand or 1500 up front just because of the shit you just put me through, you know? And I could tell he was talked out of his mind anyways. And I always worked sober. So I was always ahead of the game, but, um,

He gave me the money up front. I was like, okay, baby, lay down naked, get naked and get comfortable. And the minute he took all his clothes off and laid down, me and my friend just booked it out the house. And I mean, this dude's chasing us naked down the street. Get back here, you fucking whores. Like just chases, like jumps on the car, slapping the windows. Like it was really bad, but yeah.

you know bro i would have given him the cocaine enema and given him way too much so then he dies right yeah just stick fuck watching child porn i'd be like oh it's not enough more more i just can't keep going till his heart explodes yeah that's what i would have done he would have deserved it for sure it would have been like it's his fault he did it and then i would have wiped all my fingerprints oh fuck yeah no it would have been what a piece of shit yeah totally that's the kind of people you deal with though you know not all the time but the majority of the time

really real freaks oh yeah really the hospital room in the house that was like normal yeah stop you go over people's house they have like all kinds of dumb shit so you that's why I didn't do house calls that much because it was always some fucking weird shit going on and you're in their house so you're in their

energy and it's just like yeah so I try to keep it in the hotel rooms as much as possible because at least there's security and fucking you know what is it about people the more money they get the weirder they fucking get sexually the weirder they get yeah it's like why can't like we are seeing all these Epstein the Epstein list coming out of like all the people at the top of the food chain fucking kids it's like why do we hit a level of status that we start

Getting dark as fuck sexually. Like, what is that? I wonder. I don't know. I think it starts out minus the kids shit. I think it starts out like getting the weird fetishes is a control thing. Yeah. Because once you have so much fucking money, it just gets to a point where it's like people will do whatever they they whatever you ask them to do. Yeah. So it's like they start getting weirder and weirder because their requests are they need to quench that.

urge more you know so they're some guys like being walked on with fucking six inch heels on their back you know like and i'm talking like ceos of companies like like to be like bonded up and like tied up because that's their way of releasing control wow have you ever pegged someone

Boyfriends. Oh, yeah. She's like, I saved that for it. That's my intimacy. That's a good time for me. No, I'm just kidding. No, I'm not into that at all. Because that's a control thing for women. Yeah. So I picked somebody when I was like 21 and didn't know that that's what it was called.

It was a dude you put a strap on on? No. So pegging is just any sort of anal, right? Or do you have to have a strap on? Well, it's usually a strap on, but I think it can be. No, I'm not into strap ons. No, okay, see, so I thought pegging was just you fucking a dude with anything. I don't know. I could be wrong. He's just sticking stuff in his ass. He's just like a cucumber. I have like whole foods. Yeah. I was one of my ex-boyfriends and I remember he bent over and just had the biggest butthole I'd ever seen. It was just gay bait. It was just a Grand Canyon. You could count like the rings around it like a tree trunk. Like it was gross.

That's how many dicks have been in his ass. Literally. And like he fucking, well, he had cheated on me. That was the one who cheated on me with a stripper. Was he bi? It was my payback. I don't know. He was always like that super alpha. So then he's gay. Yeah. He was straight gay. He had his shit in the ass. Oh, no. He backed into it like a cat. It was like. Oh, no. I think. You had your whole arm and he's like, is it in yet? Yeah. Come on, fuck it up to my shoulder, bro. I can't. Yeah, I'm so young. Jesus Christ.

I've lived a full life. So are you so over shit now sexually because you've had to do so much? I mean, I like romantic shit. I like, you know, just...

kiss me love on me like you know i don't need weird shit like i'm not vanilla by any means my husband says i have more testosterone than a ufc fighter but like i'm a whore i'm a horny motherfucker but i just like you know pretty sex i guess kind gentle yeah yeah i mean you know choke me every now and then but i don't need to like you know you don't gotta ram me down my throat and make my face bleed or anything weird like that so yeah um

I love that, dude. That's fucking crazy, man. And you're so happy with your guy now. It's nice when you find your person. When you feel safe. Yeah. How long have you guys been together? Eight years. Oh, wow. It's been a long time. So I actually met him. I was at a comedy show in Nashville at Zany's. And I met him literally right before he was about to blow up. And he was playing a song in the green room. He's like, this song is going to put me on the fucking...

map like mark my words and it was it was a song that he blew up on save me yeah and i was yeah it was really special to watch it he was so had so much conviction he's very sweet too he what you see is what you get with them yeah like he is like just he i call him my little cherub angel because he's literally just an angel on earth like we don't deserve him and you supported him

So that he could work on his music and get to do his thing, right? Yeah. You had an apartment and he moved into your apartment. I want to clear the record with you guys, though, because I feel like everybody always is like, oh, she took care of him. Like, my husband has always been a hustler.

Yeah. Like he would have figured it out no matter what. With or without me, that man was fucking going to be who he is today. You know? Granted, I saw that in him fucking so long ago. But like the first time we met, I said, you are so special. You know, because you could just feel it and you just feel his energy. But, you know, we're a team and it took a team to build what we have now. So I never want to take full credit for that and be like, yeah, I'm the reason why. You know, like. I was out there sucking dicks in my bed. Yeah.

Drop lyrics. Is the song done yet, babe? My throat hurts. How much more studio time do we need? Literally.

literally god damn my dog's tired yeah yeah jesus christ though no he um he i was working though yeah hardcore right it's a lot of work industry whenever i can't i used to answer phones for a calling service oh my god just like suck a dick and so i would pretend to be the girls oh my god yeah and i'd be like yeah baby what do you want and he's like why are you talking like that i was like i

What makes you horny? I was so bad at it. And then so the girls would then go and then they would call me when they got there and then check out and they had a security guard with them and all this stuff. So I used to answer phones for a calling service. And then I just was like, yeah, isn't that crazy? Yeah. Yeah, but then I was like, I can't do this anymore because I would like make cartoon voices and stuff and they'd be like, we're getting compulsive.

that you... You're not turning people on. I'm like, what are you shaking my rugrats in front of? I would have loved if you were my phone girl. We would have made so much money together. Seriously, yeah, the girls. And I always just felt for the girls. I mean, but they would get really lucky sometimes. Like, they would tell me sometimes guys would, like, just hire them to, like, come clean their house or whatever and, like, pay them so much money to, like... I had a friend who always used to hire escorts and then when they would get there, he'd get too nervous to do anything, so he would just pay them full price to leave. Yeah.

Amazing. I'll pay you all the money if you just get out of here. And I say that all the time. Like, I've talked about this before. Like when you're an escort,

50 of the time you're not having sex with people yeah you're getting paid to go to dinner you're getting paid to be their therapist you're getting paid to walk them around like a cat or put them in a diaper like there there's just so many different facets of what you do as an escort so wow so the fucking multi-talented jesus christ i mean that's kind of crazy okay so the enema thing is really fucked up is there any other ones that you were like jesus like this is fucked up um

Not that I can think of right now off the cuff. But if it comes, we'll let you know for sure. Speaking of cum. Oh, shit. Should we get to it? You want to hear some of the shit people fucking say? Yeah, make me feel better about my life. Today is a mixed bag. We usually have a topic every week, but it's just like mixed stories that have been left out that are still good. So we want to talk about them. So this one is called Cum Stains.

-Sounds delicious. -My dad was away on a trip with his girlfriend, meaning I had an empty house all to myself. During this time, a friend was having a house party a couple of doors down. It was perfect. We could stumble back to my place and have a place to stay with no adults. Keep in mind, I'm probably 17 at the time, so this is a major win. My friend and I leave the party and make our way back to my house. This guy I was seeing at the time came over and my friend brought a guy too. I set her up in my dad's room.

Me and my guy were fucking, not having a clue what's going on downstairs with my friend and her guy. Everyone leaves in the morning and I'm thinking, okay, time to make the house spotless, including dad's room. So it looks like nothing ever happened. I'm making the bed in my dad's room when I see cum stains all over the black sheets. I think...

That's what I was thinking.

I was like, why is she cleaning up her dad's car? I was like, golly. I almost fucking threw up right there in the middle of my ancient history class. I remember the incident every now and again and still makes my skin crawl. Yo, isn't it so weird? Like, I don't know if this has ever happened to you guys, but when you're younger and you accidentally walk in on one of your parents naked. Oh, dude. It's so traumatizing. It's the worst. Like, I'm like, ah! Like, I...

burned in your brain and you just like want to like fucking pour acid in your eyes what about when it smells what smells the cum smelled no nothing well my mom my stepmom's vagina smelled so bad oh no like from far away in the it was like it would fill up a room it was so bad and i walked in on them banging one time and i was i was a kid so i was like what is that smell like it was so bad bv baby oh that's exactly now so you said she was really mean to you do you think she was just like

way jealous of you because I had a stepmom that was really abusive too and I think it's like a jealousy thing yeah I think it's a jealousy thing you know because they don't like the relationship that you have with the man that they love she was also and I'm gonna cut her a break she was also very young when she married my dad she was 17 oh taking on a five-year-old so okay yeah they're not together anymore oh fuck no no she would be taking care of his ass if they still were

No, I'm just kidding. I love you, Bill. Love you, Bill. Oh, my God. Wow, dude. That's fucking crazy. Tommy told me one of his exes, like, her pussy always smelled like fish. Oh, no. And he was like, it was just like no matter what, he would say stuff and be like, hey, it smells kind of crazy. And, like, she would try. And my husband's, like, so nice. So I'm sure he, like, is just nice about it. You know what I mean? Like, I have, like, blood clots and shit, but my pussy never stinks. Ever, right? Never stinky. But he would tell me that it would literally smell like

old fish like he would be like he said he'd had to hold his breath as a woman you can smell your vagina yeah yeah that's how i knew i had uh urea parva plasma when i had it because it smelled like a fucking old fish factory i couldn't even sit next to myself i'm like i was eating dinner and i was like caught a whiff of it i was like i have to go home i'm gonna fucking kill myself yeah

I'd rather be dead than have a stinky pussy. I don't know how girls are just out here wheeling around with stinky puss. I always thought some of them couldn't smell it because it's like, you know how sometimes you can't smell your own strange... When you go pee, you can smell. There's no way that you can't smell your pussy. If the pH is off, you smell it. Clean the pussies, ladies. Clean your fucking pusses, guys. Metro Gel is amazing. What is it called? Metro Gel, if you ever have BV, bacterial vaginosis, it's a gel that you just put a little fucking...

Is it like a... Right? And it makes your vagina just heavenly. Perfect. Yeah. Does it like help cure it too? Yeah. Wow. It's like an antibiotic. Oh, nice. It's a boric acid, I think it's called.

I think it's important. Shout out to Metro Gel. Also, have you ever heard of The Killer? Sponsor me. Yeah, sponsor us. We need pussy sponsorship. The Killer needs to sponsor us. The Killer. Dude, there's this stuff you can get at Target called The Killer. And it's little boric acid suppositories. You stick it up and it literally fixes anything. That's amazing. Yeah, it's amazing. You just get it at Target. Should I read the next one? Yeah, let's do it. Also, I wonder why her dad had black sheets. I feel like that's not a vibe.

when you're coming all over the place. So weird, dude. I feel like they're a lot closer than they were saying. Damn, this one's kind of... Britt, is this a really good one? The Mysterious... They're all good. Okay, ready? She said they're all good. The things people say. My

Is your ex-boyfriend. Mm.

He demanded rim jobs, but would freak out at the suggestion of a finger. Oh, not he would never look me in the eyes during sex or let me ride him as a young 20 something. I thought it was the best sex of my life, but now I know better.

One night on our vacation, we had done a bunch of Molly and I was extremely horny. I wanted to get fucked bad, but he wasn't into it. Frustrated, I tried to sleep but couldn't. After a bit, I noticed him get up. He did something in the restroom then slipped into the bathroom. I didn't move a muscle and he was pretending to sleep. When he came back to bed, the bed started vibrating and I could not only hear it, but I was feeling it through the mattress. I was feeling it through the mattress.

His arm was also brushing up and down against mine like he was stroking his dick. I was so confused and had a grossed out feeling that he was using a vibrating butt plug next to me, but I also felt crazy for even thinking that. As time passed, I'm sitting there wide awake while he's jerking off beside me in bed. I'm so angry I can feel tears welling up, but I'm also shocked that he would rather do this than fuck me.

I slowly crept my hand down to his anal region, feeling the vibrations pick up through the mattress. I wanted to know if I was going insane or if it was really happening. My hand stumbled across a rope and

that seemed to be attached to something. Mind you, we were naked. After that, after what felt like the longest hour of my life, he started breathing heavy and started to moan when I felt a wetness on my leg and then he abruptly ran to the bathroom.

I silently cried all night in disbelief of what just happened. The next morning, we were getting ready to go out and I was looking everywhere for this thing in the bathroom to no avail when all of a sudden his bag starts to vibrate and we're both standing around it. In that awkward moment, I asked him what it was. He said nothing and kicked the bag and dragged me out of the room. I never found out the truth, but I searched his house for weeks when we got back trying to find the evidence. I was so scared.

I never got an answer. I was in turmoil. Finally, when I brought it up to him, it just ended with me getting yelled at. So glad I never have to vacation with him again. And then, so what was it? Did we ever find out? Damn, all that? He was putting a vibrating butt plug in his ass. With a rope though? Yeah, what's the rope part? I don't know about the rope, but maybe that's to get it out so it doesn't go too far up. Oh, so it doesn't get stuck maybe. Yeah.

A safety chain? That is so crazy. If a guy was jerking off next to me, I'd be like, no, motherfucker. We're fucking doing this. Like, I wouldn't have laid there all...

Yeah, like, I don't understand why she didn't stand up for herself. Yeah, that's fucking weird. Because it's uncomfortable. If you have a guy that would rather have something in his ass and masturbate, it's like he's just, I think it's, like, the real alpha guys that are always secretly gay. Like, I remember I used to fuck a really alpha guy, and then, like, when he got more comfortable with me, he started talking about how, like, one of his kinks was that I used to fuck black guys, and he would think about big black dicks being inside of me when we were fucking, and I was like, I think that just means you're gay.

Yeah. I was like, I think you're just thinking about the big black dicks, not about my vagina at all. Yeah. Whoa, dude. So, yeah, I think that's like a, like when the more alpha they are, it's a bigger red flag on the. That's so weird. It's weird when people, oh, yeah, Bunny, you want to read one? Oh, no, no, I don't have my bifocals on. Oh,

Oh. Yeah. If you guys want me to, I gotta pull them out. We gotta get Bunny's monocle so she can... Literally, I'm so blind. I am so blind. If you guys want me to read, I will, but I have to read all of this out. No, no, I don't have to read. That's fine. Yeah, we like, we read these people's stories and sometimes we're like very confused. Yeah. We're like, wow. She was such a great writer. Like, she really painted a picture so it was super anticlimactic when she got to the end. I'm like, did we ever find out what it was? I thought it was gonna be like the chain drain thing in his ass, you know? I was thinking it was like a foot scrubber or like a...

you know in a vibrating toothbrush you never know like you never know what it could have been people will put anything up their ass okay a couple weeks ago i was moving out of my parents house and moving the spare bed with my sister out of my dad's office this said office was my old bedroom dad is in the room with his back toward me when i pulled the bed skirt off the box spring my large glass butt plug fell to the floor my sister was standing at the door and saw it happen i said oh

Oopsie. So that's where that went. And quickly grabbed the plug and put it in my pocket. I turned and looked at my sister and her face immediately verified that she saw what I had just found. We ran into the other bedroom and she told me dad found the other one. It's in his pocket. I said, you're fucking kidding me. She said, no, he put it in his pocket before mom walked in the room. She would have found it. How did dad know what it was? Dad's like, this is nice. We're going to put this on the mantle. This is bigger than the one I've got. I can't.

put it in his pocket she would have found it so we go about finishing up moving shit from room to room an hour goes by and I had yet to retrieve my butt plug from my father's safekeeping um

He had come downstairs and sat at the kitchen counter with me, my mother and sister, and my plug in his pocket the whole time. As I was about to leave the house, I got a text from dad that said, come upstairs. I walked in the office where he was sitting at his desk and he reached in his pocket. I said, you have something of mine. He handed me the medium-sized plug and all he said was, don't worry, I didn't sniff it.

What is up with these dads man? That's crazy. I've never used a butt plug. Do girls use them a lot? I don't love them. I don't love anal stuff. Yeah I don't either. I'm like I can't even shit normally. Dude. So the last thing I want is a big dick up my ass. What's up with hot girls and tummy issues? We've all got. It's fucking our nervous systems are wrecked. Dude that's what it is. Literally. Because we're anxious. Yeah for sure. Like I don't even know it's either like really constipated or just a waterfall. Same.

Same. Like it's like nothing in between. I put prunes in my smoothie every day just so I can shit regularly. Like I'm senior citizen. Bro, they're so good for you, but it's the anxiety. It throws your whole thing off, dude. It really does. Every doctor that I've ever seen, like what I used to think I had IBS when I was younger, but they were just like, no, she's just in fight or flight all the time. Like it's so horrible. Poor baby. It sucks, dude. Her poor little buttholes. When are we going to chill? Dude.

I'm ready to chill. I'm like, fuck. We're here all week. Daddy gets in tonight for Grammy week. Oh, amazing. That's going to be a fun week for you guys. It's a huge week for you guys. Are you guys doing anything for Grammy week? We got invited to parties, but Tommy just had hand surgery. So he just wants to chill. Plus, he's not into partying anymore. Good. Especially because we're sober, too. So it's like he hates, and maybe you relate to this, and Brittany's also...

sober person. So we all kind of hate being around people when they're really wasted and they talk to you with their hot wine breath like, come here. I love you. Everybody turns Jewish. I just want to talk way too close. Oh, yeah. They're like, oh, that's Haley. Haley gets so drunk. She'll come in. We'll be in the tour bus and have no room

room for each other. Stop. Haley in her hot wine breath. And this bitch will come and talk to me for like an hour in my back bunk and I'm like, all right, I'm going to bed now, bitch. Oh my God. I love her though. She's like my little sister. I can't. You're all closing the curtain. She's like, one more.

One more thing. Smash in her face. I'm out. Yeah. So wait. Oh, go ahead. No, no, no. Go ahead. So you're sober. And then we also got sent the autism test. Oh, shit. We have to talk about this. We have to talk about this. Did you take it? I did. I'm 19. Oh, that's normal. How? I'm not...

I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. Me too, dude. We're a fucking full dirt, bro. But that's what I'm saying. How do you go to these Grammy parties? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, how are you going to these events when you are sober and autistic? Are you just freaking out? No. So yeah. So it was like that for probably, I'd have to say the past three years, it was like me literally just white knuckling everything. I would rock like back and forth and like,

if I had to go out on stage, I would just have to suck it up, you know? And I really feel like one of the major keys to not letting your anxiety control your life is working through it. Oh yeah. Like to, you know, like even with the OCD, it's like drinking a bottle of water that you normally wouldn't have done or like, you know, you have to,

don't submit to your anxiety, push through it because it really helps. But a year ago I had, I started having some, what I thought was health problems and I had to go on like a, an elimination diet. So I eliminated sugar completely from my diet and it has been a game changer. Like when I tell you that I go to these events now and like do things and don't have, and have zero anxiety, like it's wild. My OCD kicks in more than like

my anxiety. Like it's so weird. Whereas before I would have full on panic attacks. Like now I'm just kind of like, all right, if I have to hug you or like people go to shake my hand, I'm like, I'll give you naps. Like, can we normalize dapping? Yes. That was the best thing that came out of the pandemic was not shaking hands or not having to touch people. I mean, can we just keep that? Cause if I could wear gloves 24 seven, I would like, I'm not weird. They're like, what's up with Michael Jackson? Literally. I didn't know.

I did that at my meet and greets. People were like, what? And I had to make an announcement about it. Yeah. I was like, listen, motherfuckers, I don't like touching people. If you touch somebody and they're wet, I'm going to think about it forever. Oh, I'm going to think about it forever. And it's just like it's going to loop in my mind. But yes, cutting sugar out has been a real lifesaver and a game changer. And also, I think working through a lot of trauma and therapy and stuff like that.

But you're totally right with the exposure therapy. Yeah. So that's what I started doing stand-up again and I started – I'm so proud of you. And like the traveling, you know how we hate traveling? Forcing myself to travel, forcing myself to do stand-up. Like they say what's behind your greatest fear is your greatest gift. Absolutely. So you got to fucking – You have to and it's going to suck and you're going to shake and you're going to –

Just do it scared. Puke. You're going to fucking have panic attacks the first few times that you do it. It could be even a year. Yeah. And you're going to fucking. Oh, yeah. I'm still. Oh, yeah. Brittany and I have a show at the Improv on Wednesday? Thursday. Thursday. Are we here Thursday? Maybe. We are.

We should go. So we have a show and I get so nervous before every show and she's such a pro. She just gets up there and fucking... She's just unaffected. She's great. She's level-headed. She just goes up there and fucking...

And she's all before the show just talking to everybody, all chill. That's how my husband is. I'm just like in my head like... She's like rocking at the corner. Is that funny? Yeah, that's funny. And like just keep like psyching. But for that reason, because you have all that energy that you're able to give to the crowd, you have a much different performance than me most of the time. You're very high energy and you get people involved and she's great. And I'm very like deadpan. I'm like people could not even be in the room. We know how to turn it on and turn it off. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't have that switch. I'm just...

kind of deadpan all the time. You're just stable. Yeah. Yeah, we love that. We love that for you. Rub it in. Rub it in, Britt. Let's get carried away. You don't even know about Brittany's weekend. I would love to hear about Brittany's weekend. Brittany took a lot of pics this weekend. We love that. That's how Haley is in our crew. We're always living vicariously through it. Haley? We're going to tell the shit stain. We're telling the shit stain story. What's the shit stain story? Well, let's hear about Brittany's life.

No, I mean, like, listen, the NBA players are my Achilles heel and I'm maybe fucked one or two. Oh, nice. Hundred. I love that. Are we allowed to drop names? No, I got, you know, I got my back nice and blown out. So I'm a little crip walk. Oh, I love that. She's like just fucking hobbling in here. Yeah, dude. She had a good weekend. But to be fair, I hadn't had sex since November. So. Oh, yeah. Me either. I'm married. I'm just kidding. I know.

How about that, though? My husband, I mean, my husband's 61. So he's just like not as horny as usual. You know what I mean? You get older and like intimacy for us is like me sitting there while he trims his bonsai trees. Bro, we're going to talk about that on my podcast. Like I want to know about the bonsai trees. Do you trim bonsai trees too? No, girl. Is it like a bonding experience? No, I just sit there and I'm cleaning it up. I'm like, this is very messy. This is really a big messy project. I know.

cleaner hoppy. He just blows it everywhere. Listen, we're going to limit this to once a week, honey. Once a week so I can catch all these clippings. OCD cleanliness. I fucking hate it. He comes in and there's just little stems everywhere because they fall off of him and they're just all around the house. Brittany just has a leaf blower. She's like...

Who could imagine Tommy Lee fucking trimming bonsai trees? Bro. That's hilarious. Chill as fuck now. I love that though for you. He's so normal now. Yeah. Like he's just so calm. Well, he feels safe with you, I'm sure too. Yeah, he's a normal dude now. He's like very calm. Like who would think that he's a normal one? Right. I've actually always heard that about him though. So chill. Like through the grapevine is that he's like, he was wild in his younger days. Yeah. But like, you know, now he's kind of like,

just leveled out. Yeah. But it's crazy how age does that to you. Cause my dad was a dickhead back then. And now he's like, you know, honestly,

two feet in the grave and he's fucking cool as shit you know you're like damn is this what life is about well i think the closer you get to death the more you realize what actually matters and i think when you're young and you're all fired up and you think you know money sex drugs all that stuff is important the older you get the more you realize just like being chill and causing the least amount of drama and just being you know a sense of like peace in everyone's life is what is important

And you just want people around you that love you. Yes. That's it. No negativity. No fucking just nice people. Trauma is stressful. I get your cortisol levels up. I can't handle it. That's a constantly high cortisol. I'm like, yeah.

Like I hate it, dude. So I like can't hang out with anyone. I'm always just by myself. I'm the same way. Ask her. It's like I put people like we'll have to go eat dinners like even last night. Hopefully this comes out. This person can't figure out who it is, but like we'll have to have dinners. I'll put people in between me and the people we're having dinner with so I don't have to carry the whole conversation the whole time because it just gives me so much anxiety. I hate that. Yeah. When you're with someone who doesn't talk. Yeah. Yeah.

Or it's that long pause and my trauma doesn't allow it. So I always have to like say weird shit or do something. Dude, we're the same. I can't. I can't. Haley, you want to talk about your shit story? Oh, yeah. What's the shit stain story? Story Haley. So Haley goes, where'd you meet this dude? On Tinder, right? Or Grindr? Bumble. Okay. She met this dude on Bumble. Shit. Yeah.

Literally. And they were talking for a few weeks, whatever. He comes over the house, fucking Haley and him, bang, rides the shit out of him, whatever. This dude stands up. Literally. He stands up, and she's getting dressed. He's getting ready to leave. He stands up and then sits back down really quick. And she's like, did you forget something? And he's like, oh, no, just gathering my stuff off the table. And Haley's like, OK, whatever. So he leaves.

And she goes and she looks on her couch and there's two fucking just long skid marks. What the fuck? And she sniffs it. No! You stuck your face in it? You're like, is this chocolate? You tasted it. You licked it. And so the dude is like so weird with her now because he knows he fucking left the skid marks on her. I have been begging her. I'm like, give me your fucking...

phone because i want to text him and be like i know what you did i know what you did last summer like literally just i know you left fucking skid marks on my fucking couch motherfucker you just send him a pack of dude wipes dude guys like don't wipe their ass yeah or wash it yeah do you wipe your ass when you shit oh yeah because i noticed like guys like they don't wipe when they pee they just shake it yeah no not at all yeah who wiped

I think that you should. I had a boyfriend who did that and it kind of icked me out. That he wiped it? Yeah, it was really weird. I was just like, I don't know if I'm liking this. I was a guy who would constantly be cleaning my shit with wipes. I don't know. I just feel like, ugh, guys just don't. All the smegma. There's just a lot. Ball cheese and shit. Yeah.

One time I was sucking a guy's dick and I went like to get the balls and I got like lint on my tongue. That's better than like when you lift the balls and all you can smell is their asshole. I know. It's like,

It's the worst, dude. Or they have toilet paper in their asshole and you're just like, God dang it. I gotta finish this. I gotta see it through. You know? Just eating the toilet paper. Yummy. I love it. Just go cry. It's like popcorn. Cockcorn.

God, men are fucking nasty. The fact that we do put their dicks in our mouth is crazy. Just think, their dicks have been inside other vaginas and we're just...

Yeah. Sucking it up, dude, you know? Like, I want mine, like, fully sterilized. Like, I want to send him to, like... She's going to go home and be like, Tommy, peel the skin off your dick right now. You need to go get a chemical peel. Yeah, literally. I'm going to wipe it with a Lysol wipe. I'm like, give me that thing. Put some vinegar and fucking bleach on it. Let me scrub it with a toothbrush. Just fucking...

I hate that. I can't even think about it. Oh my God. All right. Do you want to read the next one? Sure. Oh God. What is this one? Donuts and boobies. Hell yeah, man.

I dated a guy when I was 16 and I really liked him. Things were going pretty good for a while. His parents liked me and his friends liked me. Fast forward to his 17th birthday. I requested him to get donuts for the party because I really love them. He forgot about it. And I'm going to be honest, I was a total cunt about it. I mean, I yelled and got really mad at him and told him that I really just wanted one thing for this birthday and he couldn't do it.

Okay.

We broke up again and I was in a really bad space and did a lot of underage drinking and smoking weed. I finally moved on and posted a really nice picture on Instagram. A lot of guys liked it and everyone was talking about me rebounding. He apparently did not take this well and ended up sending my nudes to a random guy on Instagram. That guy then ended up leaking those photos on a

to reddit and a bunch of other places so not only was i cheated on but i ended up getting my boobs fully exposed to the entire world because i posted a nice picture on instagram and asked for fucking donuts i'm okay now but let's just say i'm traumatized by men for the rest of my life by the way that's illegal that's illegal that's revenge yeah she's 17 underage yeah that's like a double whammy that guy could totally go to jail if she could have proved it was him that

Yeah. That put her pictures on Reddit. I've never understood why people do stuff. I fucking hate Reddit, but I've never understood why people do stuff like that. Like, why is putting somebody's nudes revenge? You know, like, it's just like so weird to me. I look great naked. Please. Why is that even? Yeah. That and like, why is that even an option? Is that where your brain goes? Like, I'm going to fucking upload her

nudes to embarrass her. Yeah, and like, by the way, if she looks hot, it's just gonna do her a favor. Like, it's not gonna do anything bad. Dudes, we're just men haters. Some men fucking suck. We're the she-man woman, what is it? The fucking that they say it on, you know what I'm talking about? Yes, that's it. But we're the she-man man haters. I love that. I love that you knew what I was talking about. Oh my god, I knew, but I just didn't have the...

Okay. In, uh, this is a long one. Okay. In 2015, I moved to LA and matched with a lawyer named Randy on Bumble. My dad calls Bumble Fumble. That is hilarious. That's great. Yeah. Um, my,

My dad, by the way, I'm going to just say this quickly. He's a savage on the apps. Like he will show up to dates because he lives in like suburban, like suburbs of Milwaukee. So like suburban, he's in his 60s. You know, he calls dating digging through the recyclables. And he's like, it's, you know, he's like they're leftover for a reason. But he will go to dates and pull up their picture. And it's like he didn't understand what a filter or like.

that a photo could be edited, pull up their picture, hold it next to their face and be like, this isn't you. Where is she? I believe. That's hilarious. Yes. Savage. He's like, I'm not wasting my time. When's dad's birthday? He's January 19th. Oh, Capricorn. Capricorn Aquarius. He's on the same cusp as me. Yeah. That's hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. I love dad. Dad's my hero. Yeah. He's a fucking savage. He's like, what is this? Look at all these neck wrinkles. I'm like, dad. Stop.

My dad's a Capricorn too. Aww. Is he single? No, he's married, but he's like the nicest guy. I know. Yeah, but that's funny, dude. That's funny. Wow. Can you imagine? Mm-mm.

No, I downloaded Hinge from my dad when I was home because he got rid of Bumble and now he wants Hinge. And so I got Hinge on there and now he's calling it unhinged because all the women are hitting him up so much. And I'm like, dad, you still got it. Well, at least dad's fucking living his best life. Yeah, good old Charlie, man. Trying to get out there. That's cool. What's dad's name over here? Ron. Ron, Bill, and Charlie. We need to get them together. They sound like a real group. A real group.

- The Emmy goes. - Fucking group. - They need a podcast. - Oh my God. - Oh no. - Okay, so we met Randy on Bumble, a tall, successful partner at his firm. But according to the app, he was 2,700 miles from me. Figuring he must be traveling, I didn't let that sway me. Once we started chatting, he told me he lived in New York and we must have matched while he was in LA for business. He asked me what was something crazy I've never done before on a date and I answered skydiving. He said, "Den, we're going skydiving on our first date." - Whoa. - No thanks.

No, my heart is in my throat right now. Miss me with that shit. Yeah. Okay. After a few Skypes, the era before FaceTime, I felt comfortable enough to ask him to stay. I know, right? Throwback. To stay with me for his visit. I picked him up from LAX and we headed to another airport where we would go skydiving.

I noticed during the car ride he was very jittery, but I found this endearing. Maybe he was just nervous. Later in the evening, we went to dinner at a nice restaurant, and I ordered a glass of wine. He didn't have one, but didn't explain why. On our way back from the restaurant, he plugged in an address to the GPS, and we parked the car in a lot in Beverly Hills. I didn't know where or what this was, but as soon as we got to the lot, several others came.

We're there and greeted him by name. Hi, Randy. We walked into the building and sat down and the meeting started. It took only a few minutes for me to realize it was an AA meeting. I wonder if I know Randy. I said politely. And when it came to my turn, I just said I'm a friend. I felt awkward, but only because I wasn't given a heads up about this. When we got back to my apartment after the AA meeting, Randy explained to me that he was six months sober and it was a cocaine issue. He used to spend $8,000 a month on blow.

I knew I wasn't interested in dating him, but figured why ruin the next two nights while he was here. I'll have some fun and wish him well with his life in New York. Then he dropped another bombshell. Turns out all the cocaine use had led to some other unsafe behavior and he now had herpes. He explained that he had girlfriends in the past as long as they were safe. They never contracted it from him. I applauded him for his honesty, but ended up leaving him.

with his he ended up leaving with his things and getting a hotel i thought it was over and that i would never hear from randy again but that's when things started to get very weird he started sending me dozens of texts asking me to cuckold him he asked me if i was willing to have sex with another man in front of him and then had have them come inside of me so he could suck out the cum

What the fuck? Randy went from zero to 100. He's in a snowball. I'm sober and I'm healthy now. By the way, can I suck some cum out of your pussy? I'm dead. Lawyers are the worst. They were always the weirdest. Are they? Yeah. He started sending me expensive gifts and left me voice notes about...

his desire for me to financially ruin him. I'm not talking a few texts, I'm talking hundreds of texts. And he started sending me pics of his dick and asked me to tell him how small it was. He would say things like, tell me this tiny dick means nothing to you. I wanted to block him, but my morbid curiosity got the better of me. This went on for months. I never saw him again, and eventually he did...

He did stop texting and calling. I thought it was over until 2017, two years after the one and only time I ever saw this man. I got a call from a woman asking me if it was really over between Randy and I. I was so confused at first, completely forgetting about this guy. Turns out it was Randy's new fiancé. They had been together for a year now, but according to her, he never got over me. I told her I met him once. We never dated. We never had sex. The only time I ever saw his dick was in pictures. She felt...

assaged i don't even know that word assuaged by this and shocked that it was only one meeting because of the way he told the story i was the love of his life i later sent her a text that said you deserve better and you can get better they still got married in 2020 i was back on the apps and saw randy again i took a screenshot of his profile sent it over to what i presume to be his still wife she told me they got divorced and she should have listened to me i hope she didn't get herpes

That's a wild ride. Should they ever go skydiving or not? I think they did. Then they got dinner and then he didn't drink. Wait, tell me the craziest lawyer story. I was just interjecting. Lawyers and doctors are both fucking weird. Lawyers and doctors are. I used to have a lawyer that was a sugar daddy and it was him and his wife. Him and his wife paid me so much fucking money. He was a huge lawyer in Vegas and I was pretty much essentially dating them both.

Yeah, it was crazy. Did you like that? I mean, I was getting paid, so. Right, right, right. Yeah, I can like anything for 20 grand a month. Yeah, literally. I'll put up with a lot. Yeah. No, that's how it was back then. But yeah, I mean, there's not any one weird thing I can point out. They're just super controlling. Everything that I heard in there, the penis humiliation, the wanting to get snowballed and stuff like that, totally makes sense. Snowballed? That's what it's called when you suck them out? Yeah, I think that's what it's called, snowballed, right? Whoa, dude. We can Google it. Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's when somebody it's either they come in you or somebody else comes in you and they suck it out. Jesus. It's like a chili dog. A chili dog. Oh, my God. Give it a gook. Give it a gook, babe. One of the NBA players I hooked up with used to be obsessed with a different guy coming in me and then him having sex with me right afterwards.

He has a breeding kink of some sort. What? It's like a breeding kink. What does that mean? It's like they want somebody to come inside of you and then they come. It's like a. The sperm fighting. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Like my sperm needs to battle his sperm. What's it called? Nobody wants.

Oh, well, yeah, that's what it's called. Yep. And then what is snowballing? Snowballing is a sexual practice acts of spitting semen into a part. Okay, so it's you're spitting it into your partner's mouth. Yeah. Jeez, I feel like I'm so fucking vanilla. I really am. I'm like, honey, just lay on top of me and let's look in each other's eyes. Like I'm so cheesy. But that's romantic. No, I mean, who's, I'm not doing this shit. I mean, no, we're good. This is shit you get paid to do, you know, like not fucking...

do it damn that's gnarly dude yikes isn't it so nice though like when you do find someone that you're just like happy with it's like you don't need to do all the crazy they're happy just to be with you and they love you and your soul you know what i mean absolutely it's the best feeling in the world my husband's super he's gonna hate this but he's super vanilla

Yeah, my Tommy is too, actually. I don't mind it. I'm fine with it. I'm always like, let me try this weird toy and whatever. And he's like, no. Same. I'll be like, let me put this vibrator on your balls. And he's like, fuck no. And I'm like, okay, well, whatever. They're just like regular guys. You know what I mean? Like our friend sent us as a joke. It was like a thing that you put on a dick and it's like squishy. And it has all these like little things inside and you like put it on your dick. Oh, a cover. Yeah, like a thing. And he's like, no. No. I'm like, come on.

Like, I'm fucking. Give it a whirl. Give it a whirl. Let's play with it. Let me give myself a UTI. Oh, my God, guys. Teeny's. It's Teeny's new chew toy. No, literally. Literally, if I leave my vibrator on the bed, Teeny grabs it and runs. Like, she's like. Like, she loves it. I'm like, no. She's like running into the bedroom. Chachi has a big stuffed dick that she got me. Do you have a picture of him with the dick? A stuffed dick.

- Fucking, he literally runs around with his dick in his mouth and it's hilarious. Just loves it. - I can't. - I have it, I can show you later. I think I have one on my phone. - The dogs are the best. - Yeah. - Do you wanna have kid kids or no? - No. - No, 'cause you're... - I just, I've never been that girl. Even as a little girl, I was like, I'm gonna grow up. I wanna be a boss of something. I didn't know what it was. I wanna have my own business. Like I've always been attracted to like strong women who just didn't have kids and like did their own thing, you know?

Yeah. And I have a bonus baby. Yeah. That's good enough for me. She seems like really close to you. She's awesome. It's taken some time. But I think, you know, this past year, especially we've gotten a lot closer. And I think her resentment towards me and her dad has kind of subsided because, you know, she's been through a lot of shit, too, man.

So, yeah. And he pretty much has had full custody of her most of the time? Mm-mm. He got full custody when we had just, we got married in August of 2016 and we got full custody of her January of 2017. Oh, okay, okay. So. But was she like, would she see both parents like before that a lot or not really? So they had like a really weird thing and I never want to talk bad about Bailey's mom

She just never was really an easy woman to get along with. Right, right. So she would keep Bailey from him. He had to go to court, fight her to just be able to see Bailey. But she also told Bailey, you know, a bunch of horrific things about him. So as a child, she just... That's what they do. They try to plant the seed of... Yeah. Yeah. And even when we got custody of her, you know, even down to this past year, which Bailey talks about it on a new podcast episode that we're going to drop. But, you know, her mom has just done...

so many horrific things to her and she doesn't deserve it dude you know so that's really sad well i'm sure she's really happy that she has you at least you know yeah i think she is now yeah i had to earn my fucking title with her but no i love her to death and i would do anything for her and she knows i love that i'm so protective over her i love that i know and it's like you have your dogs too so it's like i feel like people put a lot of pressure on women they're like you have to have a kid

I hate that. I get those comments under my posts all the time. It's like, can we normalize? Dolly Parton doesn't have kids and you don't see people asking her every fucking minute. Or Jennifer Aniston or Chelsea Handler. So many people, yeah. Like there's just, yeah, there's so many women who don't have kids. Like let's normalize not asking people, hey, are you going to have kids? First of all, it's none of your business. Secondly, there's...

numerous reasons why women choose not to have kids you know and also like reproductive issues I mean I have so much going on in my ovaries that I'm like I don't want to throw a child in there it's like already World War 3 the kids haunted house yeah full of clowns babies like what are all

It's literally filled with ghosts of kids that used to be in there. It's so bad. It's so bad. So many like cysts and oh God, like I'm like, that's the last thing I want to deal with. You know what I mean? And I think people just need to like understand that about people too, you know? Absolutely. Jay and I did try to, we went to, we were going to do a,

In vitro. Yeah. Well, I would, I'll do a surrogate any day, but we were going to do in vitro and they did one test on me where they had to see if your tubes were, cause I've had two ectopic pregnancies where they had to see if you're, where your tubes are clear. It was the most painful fucking thing I've ever gone through in my life. And they're like, this is worse than childbirth. And I was like,

if this is worse than childbirth, I don't want it, dude. Like it scared the shit out of me. And I was like, you know what? No, I'm not doing this. Dude, I can't, I can't. I mean, I already, when I get cramps, I have to like call 911. Like I have to use a, a tens machine. You know what that is? Yeah. I have a tens machine that I put on my ovaries and it shocks them so that it doesn't hurt. So I'm like, I can't even imagine throwing a baby in there. I would be not good. Yeah. So, but,

but thanks to all the people who do have babies yeah thank you guys for keeping this world all right so we do this segment go for it where it's basically we people write to us for advice okay and we call it bad advice because we obviously don't have great advice so yeah you guys don't want advice from me last person to ask for last two people to ask for advice so three great you want to read it no i just read the last one i was having a stroke

My fiance and I need your bad advice. She has this weird fetish for bellies and belly buttons. She especially has a kink for my Audi belly button. Oh my God, Tommy has an Audi and I love it. I push on it like a little trampoline. It's so cute.

Okay. Tom, this girl. It's me. It's Tommy right here. He's like, by the way, my name is Tommy. Can you keep it anonymous? Especially with her wanting to mess around and play with it in different ways. Especially with long, wet tongue. She wants to suck, nibble, and playfully bite my belly button. She likes to blow raspberries on my belly and lick whipped

cream and honey and chocolate syrup off of my Audi belly button. I want to learn to love this for her. What sort of tummy activities can we do to feed her kink? How can she play with my Audi and how can I play with her innie? It sounds like you guys are already doing it. Yeah, this is so sweet. But I thought the Audi and the innie should fuck. I bet they would fit. Yeah. It would be the best.

Mesh. Flash a la mesh. Oh, my God. Tommy has the cutest belly button. It's like big. It's like a big circle, like a quarter. And then it like pops out a little bit and I just push it all the time. And he gets so weirded out about it. But like, I just love it. I'm like this girl. Like, it's fascinating when it's puffy. Yeah. You know, like his mind's a full innie. Yeah. Mine used to be an Audi when I was young and I had like a big Buddha belly and an Audi. And now I went in and I'm...

actually I'm really happy because I think if I had a big belly button and a fucking big fat clit I'd be like oh no was it like a nub you got a big fat clit kind of yeah oh I love that good you've seen it I don't think it's fat well have you seen mine yeah I think

I thought mine was giant. Let's compare. Yeah. No, but. All right. Yeah. Subscribe to our OnlyFans where we compare our pussies. I can't. Let's go over to the other website. Yeah. It sounds like you guys are already having a great time over there with the belly buttons. I think this is so sweet. And so like. Just keep letting her suck on it as long as you clean it and shit. You don't want to fucking.

weird belly button shit on your fucking inner mouth. We usually do good news at the end. Is there any good news that you want to share, Bunny? Anything really positive that you've realized lately? Like about the world? Yeah, about the world or you or anything. I mean, this week is Grammy week, so I'm manifesting that Daddy is going to win at least one Grammy. Yay!

Let's put it in the air. We think so. Yeah, for sure. I feel it. And I mean, just, yeah, that right now is what we're all I can focus on really. Yes. And this is your first Grammys? This is his first Grammy. Yeah. He got two nominations, so I think he's going to get one for sure. I think so too. And I think you're going to look beautiful and have a great time. I love you. Guys, make sure to follow Bunny on Instagram. It's Bunny XO. It's XOMG. It's Bunny. XOMG. It's Bunny on Insta. And then on TikTok is it?

the same x omg it's bunny on tiktok and then she has the amazing podcast the dumb blonde podcast which you host you guys do it together right or no i bring her in on and off yeah yeah but you've had some great guests on there and a lot of really amazing episodes so make sure to check her out on the dumb blonde podcast we've had so much fun with you today and thanks for coming and you're fucking rad dude i'm so glad to meet you we're gonna make out after this yeah i can't wait but you guys don't

forget sorry I'm sorry yeah no just write us next week for I don't know what our topic even is we'll figure it out TBD TBD send us your worst write us at this is the worst pod at just media house dot com and follow us on social Instagram Twitter is that even a thing X do we have a Twitter I don't even think we have a Twitter never

Twitter. Nevermind, I'm falling apart. She's thinking about her NBA players. I'm dead. I'm like, big dicks. Okay. Follow us at bigdicks.com. Follow us at bigflagdicks.com. No, this is the worst pod on Instagram and we will see you guys next week. Bye. See you next week. Bye. See you next week.

Thank you guys for listening to This Is The Worst podcast powered by Just Media House. This Is The Worst is hosted and executive produced by Brittany Furlan Lee and Brittany Schmidt. If you enjoyed our show, don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, rate, and review. Stay connected with us on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and Snapchat at This Is The Worst Pod. Studio provided by Second Floor Studios. Podcast and social artwork produced by The Forward Digital and Product Limited.

Thank you to our post-production team at Creative Evolution Studios. Theme song to This is the Worst podcast performed by Midnight Noise. This is the worst where we are going to make the best of the worst.

Hold on. Do we want to show them the one that every press fucking article magazine? They always pick the worst one. I literally have five chins and I'm like, I look like Slimer, dude. Oh, I know. They make sure every time they post, every fucking time they post a fucking article of me and my husband, they use this fucking picture. There's one of me and Tommy walking into a movie theater and literally my face is...

- It's insane. I don't even think I ever made that face. Cause I'm like, I have to try. - Yeah, you're just like mid sneeze. It's literally like mid sneeze. - I look like Jim Carrey in the mask. It's like my chin is this long. - People are like, what is that a mask? Like it's scary.