Nipple Piercings, Sharing Locations & Buying Homes Are The Worst
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I just want a milkshake and I've had a hard week. Don't make me leave a blood clot on your car. That was horrible. I literally was literally bleeding and I was like, I just need a burger for my iron. I just need a milkshake. I'm not trying to offend you. Please God. Guys, I am feral today. I'm wearing my feral shirt.

I am on fire today. We are ovulating. We are both ovulating and I am on a rampage. We're both on a rampage. Like, I can't even hold it in anymore. I'm like just gonna... Okay, but you're gonna have to hold it in for two seconds because this episode is brought to you by Alipop.

This episode is, this fucking psychotic episode is brought to you by Olipop. This psychotic break is brought to you by Olipop. Olipop. It won't get rid of your mental illness, but it'll make it taste better. Yeah. When you're having a meltdown, make it delicious, you know? Cheers. Cheers. Olipop. My meltdown today tastes like cherry cola. Ooh, cherry cola is bomb.

This is good, huh? I've never had it before. They just sent this one. I know. They just sent this one. To you? Yes. Do you feel slighted? You're like, now I'm even more on a rampage. Yeah.

No, because I'm obsessed with Cherry Coke, and the Cherry Cokes, even the little cans, are like 100 calories, 27 grams of carbs. These 50 calories? These are 50 calories, 16 grams of carbs. I will much rather have this, and it tastes just like it. You're a little calorie counting queen. Unfortunately, I am. I had a matcha with purple in it today, which I think is lavender, and a chocolate croissant.

Purple? Oh my god. Yeah, it just tastes like Froot Loops. I feel like they just put weird shit in drinks these days. They're like, yeah, it's good for ya. No, they didn't say that. Okay, okay. There's no illusion of health happening, you know. I'm...

Well, what are we doing today, Brittany? Well, we're doing a new segment called Worst of the Week, and we're going to talk about all the worst shit that's happened to us this week. Because let's be honest, every week there's been some worse shit. I mean, life is great. We don't want to sound like we're... No, no, no, totally. You know what I love? The Kardashians always do the pit and the peak of each day, where they have the worst thing and then the best thing that happened. You really wash them, don't you? Oh, religiously. Girl, you're like...

on it every episode you bring you're like last week you're like so they're all getting therapy the week before you're like Kim's trying to start barking that she got makeup all over like you know all the details Brittany

What do you think I'm doing with my life? That's why when you're like, I don't like to rag on them. I'm like, I don't either. I am obsessed with them. You're like just watching them. I love their character arcs. That's crazy. I've actually never really watched the show. Oh, they're so entertaining. There's a reason why they're number one. Yeah. Are they still number one? Yes. Wow. They're number one on Hulu. Okay. So anyway, tell me what's going on in your little life that's sucking balls. There's so much shit going on. Okay. First of all, I am so fascinated.

today. I slept like fucking shit because we have open doors in our house, right? And my husband's like, let's let all the fresh air in. Well, guess what else comes with the fresh air? Flies! Flies!

Flies, mosquitoes, whatever else, right? And my husband, you could fart or like punch him in the face while he's sleeping and he will not wake up. Yeah, because he's deaf. Nothing wakes this man up. Yeah, exactly. He literally just sleeps like a rock, right? But me, I'm a light sleeper. Like you literally just could breathe on me weird and I'll wake up. Same.

Hate it. Do you not sleep with earplugs in? I do sometimes. I'm going to bring you my earplugs. I need to do earplugs, but I'm actually glad for this case that I didn't. So there's mosquitoes in our house, like a couple, like maybe one or two. But mosquitoes, they can see like your infrared, like they see an infrared where hot air is coming out and they know that's where they have to go to get blood.

Last night, every time I was about to fall asleep, I was literally about to drift off into dreamland, just so peaceful. I heard, he was doing fucking little drive-bys by my face. And then I would go, and I kept trying to get him and I couldn't fucking get him. So then I'd be like, okay, fine, he's gone, whatever. I try to go back to sleep.

Britney, I feel insane today. Like every minute I was about to fall asleep, he would come right by my face. Yeah, I mean, you are insane most days. Right, but I'm extra insane today. And you know how psycho I went last night? I took our light sheet and I put it above and tucked it into the fucking headboard. So like a mosquito net. But then I couldn't breathe. Right. The air got all stuffy and I was like, oh, fuck. So all night. Guess who's the whole time passed out?

Tommy doesn't wake up. I'm doing fucking building tents. I'm building forts, fortresses. He has no idea. I'm fucking trying to tent shit. I'm pulling the blankets on my head, off my head. I'm fucking walking around trying to fly swat shit. Nothing, dude. It's a fucking nightmare. I want to buy a machine that sucks bugs in. A machine gun. I need a gun. You just start shooting the wall. I want to buy a gun. I just shoot myself. I'm like, fuck this. There's the blood. No, literally, this literally can.

Can't take it anymore. I was so far like, and I was just insane last night and it just drove me fucking crazy. It wouldn't go away. I'm on my period nightmare. I got my period again. Surprise, surprise. So badly dying of cramps. I need to go get this ablation, but I'm waiting till we move to Brentwood because I want to go see this doctor at Cedars who's really good to do it. Why can't you do that from where you live? I mean, I can, but I don't like trust the lady that...

that is my guy now because I'm like, do you do a lot of these? And she's like, oh yeah, I do them all the time. No, I know, but you're acting like you're moving across states. Like you're just moving. I know, but it's just an hour drive there, hour drive back. For your villager periods, you can...

Brittany calls them villager periods because they're so gnarly. Sorry, Mike. They're so gross. And she sends me pictures, which, by the way, unsubscribe. Unsubscribe. Delete. Unsubscribe, bitch. I fucking, the way I got so mad at you the other morning. You were eating it. She sends me her clots, her blood clots, without permission, which is a violation. And I was literally just like, I was walking to a Earth cafe. I got my little breakfast burrito with the chunky salsa.

I'm like, hey girl, I heard you got chunky salsa. Check this out. I literally sit down and get it ready. Two pictures of savage. Crime scene. And clots. And I was like. And you took a picture of your burrito and you're like, thanks. I was planning on enjoying this. I'm no longer hungry. That's so crazy to me because like I am not bothered by that stuff at all, but probably because I live it. It's coming out of your body. No, but even other stuff.

No, if I started sending you like bloody stool. No, I would be fine. Listen. Okay, well. The Gypsy Rose Blanchard crime scene photos just came out this week of the mom, Dee Dee Dee Blanchard, who was stabbed to death. Bro, her badussy, everything is out. What's badussy? Her pussy with the fucking front fupa and everything. Because when you're dead and you're in a crime scene, they strip you naked because they want to see all the entry and exit points.

They're on Reddit, Mike. Pull them up. We can't put them on the YouTube, but if you want to see them, they're on Reddit. Brittany, these are insane. I don't even flinch. The guy stabbed her like a hundred times. This was the girl's boyfriend. Remember this case? No, yes. I know the case. But murder, I'm fine with. What you're sending me is something. Dude, the blood clot pictures are. They got some money. You got it. Mike, I can send it to you. But anyway, so they're really bad. The back of her throat was like, it was horrible. Anyway. Yeah.

So, okay, so I'm dying of cramps and then my husband out of nowhere goes, why don't you just drink some pickle juice?

dill pickle juice we have some in the fridge the best and i was like what do you mean and he's like if you drink some dill pickle juice your cramps will go away mind you i've been living with this man for seven years dying of cramps for seven years and he just tells me this well didn't he just see it on the internet yeah he said he just saw it on instagram but anyway i run to the i run to the fridge i drink the dill pickle juice and

And I'm not even kidding. Within like five minutes, my cramps were like at a minimum. Yeah. It's kind of unbelievable. Yeah. And then I posted about it on TikTok and all these doctors were writing in and being like, oh, yeah, that's the best thing you can do for cramps. We give it to surfers who get leg cramps. We give it to athletes. They have pickle juice shots. Yeah, because it's so much salt. It's all the, I think, electrolytes.

right? Yeah, they said it was something like that's the mixture of vinegar, salt and something else. The doctors were saying, yeah, I don't have a PhD and it shows, but and then they are another doctor wrote. If you take a shot of mustard and then the pickle juice, the dill pickle juice, you'll have no cramps. And then all these girls are like who are endo like me are writing in the comments that

this works girls that were like i was just dying of my period i just did this this works i always drink pickle juice but i was never drinking it to treat anything what were you drinking it for just because i like fun because it's yummy she's wisconsin i'm from wisconsin you just go a whiskey pickleback used to be one of my favorite shots what is that i shot a whiskey and a pickleback a shot of pickle juice that actually sounds kind of good it's delicious

Okay, but I love the pickle juice. It's actually so good. So I was just sitting there drinking it and I was like, oh my God, this is amazing. And then there were even pregnant women in the comments that were saying, oh my God, I drink this whenever I have, you know, discomfort with the baby and it gets rid of it. Oh. Dill pickle juice. Oh.

Changing lives. Did you know, Britt, that an estimated 5 billion plastic hand soap and cleaning bottles are thrown away each year? And if that's not bad enough, most cleaning formulas are 90% water, which is heavy to ship, leading to excessive carbon emissions. Plus, those products are often filled with nasty ingredients like chlorine and ammonia. That's a lose-lose situation for you in the planet.

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their colors are like pastel and they come in these little containers that are perfect. And you get your laundry detergent, you get your sink soap, you get your window cleaners, you get your general cleaner and the bottles all come empty. Look how pretty they are. They're so cute and, and very color coded and everything's labeled. So, you know, like, you know, if you have someone that cleans your house, they know what to use. It's like, this is for windows. This is for this. This is for that.

And I mean, I love it. The bottles come empty, you pour the powder in, you put the water in. And I have Windex and I tried the Windex on one window and then I tried the Blueland window cleaner on another.

And the Blue Land Window Cleaner did a better job. And so I'm like, I'm sold. I've been using the detergents and the dish detergent and the laundry detergent. You just throw these little pellets in. They're amazing. My clothes have been so bright. I mean, listen, I'm not even trying to sell you guys this. This is without even them sponsoring us. I was actually really impressed by the product. And even if they don't continue to sponsor us, I will continue to get this product. Not only that, I noticed at the grocery store, they carry the refills. Oh.

Yeah, I was at Ralph's the other day and I was in this section and I was like, how perfect is that? So you're not wasting by buying another plastic tub, another this, another that to keep it in. You just buy like, you know, the little tiny bag of the detergent or the whatever and you just refill it when you get home. And it's like so nice. I love that they're trying to save the environment. I mean, they're really doing their part here.

Yeah, it's great. I mean, you get the bottles, you just make it at home, like a little at-home science experiment. And it's so easy. You just add water. It's so easy. I know. So it's perfect. We love Blueland. And so, yeah, head to blueland.com. Slash worse for 15% off. Whee! The person in my family who is schizophrenic is...

having episodes and my whole family is in denial and not doing anything to help this person and it's driving me absolutely insane and it just makes me remember that when I was younger and I was really struggling with my mental health how in denial my family was and was just like they just that boomer generation they just brush everything under the rug they just like pat you on the back drink some water go for a walk like they think mental illness is not real

Meanwhile, they're all mentally ill. It just is so sad to me and I'm watching this person in my family suffer, but I'm 3,000 miles away and I'm like, what can I do? You know what I mean? I try to reason with them over the phone and be like, no one's after you. Try to calm them down and stuff. Then I'm like, well, should I call an ambulance to their house? Then I'm like, probably not because what if they freak out and

you know, they get shot or something, right? It's just a horrible situation. So this week has, it's so far, it's been pretty bad. Yeah. I mean, I just empathize with you so much because I think the denial just runs rampant in families. I hate it. I hate it. When there's any sort of mental illness, I think it's easier for them to be like, no, there's not. Everything's fine. You know, and then you showed me some of the screenshots of what this person is saying and it

is very similar to what my mom used to post. And she was paranoid schizophrenic at the end of her life too. And it's just tragic 'cause like what they're experiencing is real to them. And it's not real to anyone else. So I think everyone else can be like, "That's not real, they're fine, they'll get over it, whatever." But it's like, you just never know.

with these mental illnesses, what the voices in the head are saying or, you know. Yeah. And the thing with schizophrenia is that it doesn't go away. It's like my family thinks that, oh, this person's just under stress. And they're like, oh, when they're not stressed, like they won't have schizophrenia. I'm like, no, like this is something that needs to be treated.

And I just, it just makes me so upset at my family because it's like, I know my dad never, surprisingly, my dad didn't want to have kids. My mom was the one that wanted kids, you know? And so it's like, it's just weird. I just feel like kind of now that like my parents, obviously like they're older. It's just strange how like,

You know, I talk to my dad every day and I have probably the best relationship with my dad, but I also just feel like they've kind of washed their hands of like having kids, you know, like, okay, like, you know, whereas I see families that are really close and like love to spend time with their kids and love to have their families over and have dinners and go on vacations together. And like, I'm so jealous of that, you know, like more of my family's just like, okay,

you know what i mean it's just like it's just kind of depressing and then you kind of feel like you have no one and i'm like except for my husband yes i was just saying this to my friend because you know i have issues with my family too and i'm like i feel like i was like trimming the family tree and now it's just like a stump it's just like me and like my dad there's like yeah i cut everyone off um but i mean i get it like

If your dad didn't want to have kids to kind of be like, okay, I want my time back. Yeah, that's how he feels. Like him and my stepmom, like they're just both kind of like into their own lives. Yeah. And like they don't like invite us to go on trips or do anything or whatever. But would you want to?

Yeah, my dad's like never been like, hey, let's all go on like a family vacation. Do you want to come on my family vacation? I'm good. The fucking forest, dude. I'm fucking good. The backwoods? I would love to see you get a cat eye in the fucking, get a cat eye on in the backwoods of Canada. I'm just using charcoal from the fire. Just like, is it good? Is it straight? I just burn my eye off. Do I look pretty?

You're just drinking your own piss in the corner. I'm like, Jesus Christ, your dad's fucking catching fish with his teeth. I'm like, God damn.

You guys are some fucking backwoodsy people. It's so crazy. I didn't realize how like fucking your dad's like a real, he's like a real fucking hunter dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I didn't realize that. He's a hunter gatherer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He really is like he fucking, he'll fucking find his food. He'll cook it. He'll fucking get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He could survive in caveman times. Yeah. He'd be amazing. He could. It's literally where we go in Canada is where they film Man vs. Wild.

Insane. Yeah. And you have no, I remember you did this last year and you had no cell service. No cell phone, no electricity, no running water, nothing for seven days. And we drink the water out of the lake and we fish for our food. Do you get those straws that filter it so it doesn't have parasites in it? Do you boil it? No.

You just drink it? You just drink it. It's a freshwater lake. Mike, relax with the suspicion. But you're pissing and bathing in it too. What? Aren't you pissing and bathing in it too? Yeah, it's a massive lake. First of all, there's a lake. Your piss just goes around and goes right in your mouth. No, you don't pee in it. You pee in like the hole where the toilet is. You piss and poop in like a hole in the ground.

And then you don't need to filter it because it's untouched. It's never been touched by a motor or anything ever. It's like super, super, super preserved. My dad's been doing this trip for 20 years. I've been doing it for 15 years. Nobody's ever gotten sick. Nobody's ever gotten worms. Nothing. There's your face. You're just full of worms right now. As you're talking, the worm just comes out of your mouth like Alien vs. Predator. It's like, just kidding. Yeah.

I'm screaming. Literally one time we caught a bass and it was huge and it had worms coming out of both sides of it. And then we killed it. In that lake? Yeah.

There's a parasite, you see? Parasites grow in drinking water. Dude, parasites are everywhere. Bro. Okay, maybe I'll get a filter straw this time. But I haven't for the last 15 years. I'll buy you filter straws. Buy me a filter straw, please. I will. And a sheepie so I can pee anywhere. You know with those little sheepies? They're like little... Yes, a sheepie. A go-girl. Yeah. Go-girls are amazing.

- Amazing. They're like you have a little penis. You just stick them in. If you guys don't have to pee on a road trip, you gotta get a Go Girl. Go Girl needs to sponsor the pod. - It's She-Pea, not, or maybe it's both. - There's one called Go Girl where you like stick it in and it gives you like a little dick.

There's Go Girl. Yeah, Stand to Pee. It's literally a funnel you put on your puss. Don't they have those at AutoZone? Dude, for sure. Lesbians just use them all the time just to pretend they have dicks. They're like, yeah, I'm dead. I would. It's kind of fun. Okay, I'm going to talk about my worst of the week, and then we can talk about all of our other catch-up stuff, and then we'll get into the worst piercings. I love it. So I was in escrow on a house. I know.

HelloFresh. Yay! Okay, I love HelloFresh. First of all, I've had HelloFresh subscriptions for a long time, even before this, you know, them now sponsoring the pod is amazing. I've had them sponsor my last pod. Listen, plans change and life gets busy, you guys. That's why HelloFresh, you can easily customize your deliveries from week to week. You can tailor everything to your schedule by adjusting your delivery date. You can skip a week.

week and when you're not able to cook at home, there you go. You have something to cook. You can choose also from a variety of menu options. I mean, they have something from everyone from fit to wholesome to easy, vegetarian, family friendly. I mean, like literally any kind of diet or food plan that you're

on right now, they have it for you. Okay, so- - If you guys go right now, you get free breakfast for life. Go to HelloFresh. - Whoa! - Yeah, that's crazy. You should probably sign up for that. Get free breakfast for life. Go to hellofresh.com/freetheworst.

Wow, HelloFresh.com slash free the worst. I'm like literally going to be doing that when I get home. I don't even wake up for breakfast. It's America's number one meal kicker.

I'll be having breakfast at dinner time, but I'll be still getting it. I love a pancake. Which, by the way, breakfast at dinner is the most underrated thing ever. It's the best. But the thing I do love about HelloFresh is their website's easy to navigate. I've used other websites. The thing that's great is you can see what you're ordering easily, and you can pick it easily, pause, stay, start. I mean, we were doing it for a really long time. I don't even know why we stopped. I think we went on tour for like almost a year, and we just were like, we'll just re-come back when we get back. Yeah.

But it was so fun. And the instructions for cooking are so easy. And I always say that, like, if you have kids that want to be involved, it's kind of a fun thing to do, too. Like, oh, you want to help? And everything's already portioned. So they can go, okay, pass me the chicken, pass me this. So...

I'm like Tommy's like my kid I'm like pass me the chicken I love it so yeah hello fresh guys uh free the worst get that free breakfast the process was like an emotional roller coaster dude it's always such an insane process um like when you sent me the house because you're the one who sent me the house so this is all your fault um you're like bitch you owe me three thousand dollars you fucking bitch and a straw that filters parasites

So when you sent me the house, it is like, it's crazy because anywhere else in the world, if you had a million dollars for a house, you'd have like 12 bedrooms, a lazy river, a NASCAR pit. Like you would have so much shit. But in LA to get a house for under a million is unheard of. Unless it's a complete shithole. Which it was. Which, by the way, it was. But it looked cute. It looked cute. It looked like a cute little Spanish hacienda in West Hollywood. It was a good area. Yeah.

and you know i i got my offer accepted on it and i kind of was like looking for this like signs from the universe i was like talking to my mom through the process and i was like if i should buy this house show me a horse and then like the a guy in front of me with a pickup truck had like a horse i saw sticker on it and i was like okay this is like written in the stars it's meant to be da da da we go into inspections last week and um

It needs a new foundation, a new roof, a new chimney, a new sewage, completely new sewage. Like everything under the house is like it has root intrusion. It's eroded. Which, by the way, that's like 40 grand. So everything that needed to be fixed on it was like 120K. And I was like, no, no, no, I'm good. I'm backing up. And mind you, they wanted 1,085,000 and the house was 960 square feet. Right. 890 square feet. 890? Mm-hmm.

That's crazy. Yeah. Excuse me. So anyway, I basically was like, I'm done. I want to back out. And they're like, no, no, no. We'll make this work. And I was like, okay. They're like, just get us all the quotes and we're going to like figure it out. And I was like, okay. So it was like, I'm in, I'm out. I'm in, I'm out. I'm in, I'm out. And then yesterday they come back and they're like, all right, we're...

We're going to give you $40,000 at close. I'm like, you got to be fucking kidding me. I'm like, you should have just let me pull the ripcord when I was going to pull it. Because unless you're paying for all of this, I'm not paying $1.1 million for a half house. No. That needs a whole new house, by the way. No, we just buy and build a house. Right. I'm like, how about we demolish this house? Yeah. Start over. Yeah.

So anyway, I pulled out of escrow yesterday. So that was the worst. That was. It's just like such a it's just such a heartbreaking journey. Right. Like you're just. Yeah. You're on this ride. And then the thing that's shitty about it is you have to pay for inspector your own inspectors and

And that's a lot of money. And then for them to tell you all these problems. Everything's wrong. There wasn't one inspector that came back and be like, it's good. It was like the mold guy, the chimney guy, the roof guy, the pony. I was just like, all right, just tell me when you find a body somewhere. Yeah. That's all I'm waiting for. No, it was one thing after the other. I mean, and some stuff obviously not as bad as other stuff. But I mean, it just ended up being not right. I mean, they really should have just sold you that house for 800 grand. Right. That would have been the best. Even then, it's like the way that...

rates are right now and like mortgages are yeah it's just like not it's not the right time I was very excited I was like I feel like I'm in my homeowner's era I know and I'm like also there's something to consider about being a homeowner and I don't want to marginalize myself as a woman but as a single woman it is a scarier undertaking do you know what I mean like girl I'm telling you this because you're trying to fucking live on the ground floor in Venice Beach

I went and saw that apartment today. It was atrocious. Thank God. There was no natural light. If there was, I'd be in there like swimwear. Even on the ground floor? Yeah. I lived on the ground floor in Venice for seven years with Chris. We only had one homeless person try and come in.

With Chris. What? In seven years? That's pretty good. But a pretty blonde girl on the ground floor in Venice Beach is scary. Okay, yes. Fine, whatever. You're more scared of Venice than I am. I lived there. I have lived there for a long time and I've never had any fears about it. Like, yeah, people are getting murdered and raped in the canals, but like... You just want to get murdered. You're like, could it not be the funnest thing for me? Could it not be great for my character? Is that a great ending? God, Brittany.

And then the other worst that happened today, it has been like, I would be interested to know what's going on with the planets because it feels like this is more than just coincidence. It feels like astrologically we might be at war or something. I just feel like it's just a lot of shit. And we're on our period, so we're extra sensitive. Oh, I had a comic today DM me because I'm releasing my special Horny. It's just called Horny now. It was supposed to be called Horny for the sweet release of death. And

And she DM'd me and she was like, hey, I put out this special in 2021. I just don't want you to put it out and for this to come up as like a conflict. And it's called Horny for Death. And

And I was like, thank you for flagging it. I'll just change the title of mine. But that sucks because like I didn't want the title to be horny, you know, I'm just like, but I've already done like all this promotion for it. So I'm just but I also I'm like, yeah, I can't take your name like and that happens all the time. Like, you know, Jesus Trejo. Yeah. So he's so fucking funny. And he what's that movie you were in that MGK wrote?

Good morning. Good morning. Yeah. So he put he was like promoting his comedy special and was like, oh, this is coming out. It's called Good Morning. And it was talking about the death of maybe one of his parents or something. And I just DM'd him like, hey, I know you didn't do this on purpose, but you're going to have a hard time because this title already exists, you know. And he was like super appreciative. It just happens. It's like nobody's stealing it. It's like you have this thought and you're like, oh, this is a great idea.

Yeah, how has this never happened? This is what I always say. People used to come for me on Vine and be like, you're stealing this, you're stealing that. And I'm like,

First of all, I don't even know who these people are that you're sending me that they made the same video as me. They have 200 followers. I'm like, I never saw this. It's collective consciousness. We're all human. People are going to have the same ideas. Like it just happens, you know, it's called being a person and having life experience. You know what I mean? That was the worst, most annoying thing that would happen to me on Vine. Well, it's the most heartbreaking thing to hear as a creative because we all want to be original, you know, and we all want to...

Like when we have ideas, this is the truth. When you have them, you're like, this is a great idea. And they're like, nope, sorry. Chuck in Ohio did it first. Totally. And, you know...

you have a choice when you're like shown this has already been done you can fucking steamroll chuck or you can be like okay i would just ignore him at that point because i'm like i literally had 10 million followers and i was following maybe yeah we're telling different stories like a hundred people and i'm like how am i supposed to see all these random people's videos that have four and five followers or ten follow you know what i mean so i just started ignoring it at that point but yeah brit that's so yeah so that's a bummer but whatever do feral

No, I don't want to compete with the pod. I'm like... No, but I feel like Feral is such a good name for... Horny is like a separate thing. Also, because I've been promoting it and it says horny, people will be like, it's still the same thing. You know, Feral feels like a departure. Okay. And it feels... It's our merch. You know, I don't want people to be confused with just that. I'm just wearing the name of your special. Yeah. You're like...

I'm your biggest promoter. I just add a picture of you to the bottom. Right. I'm like, Brittany Schmidt, watch her new special. When is it coming out? 8? I guess 8. 8, 8. Yeah. So yeah, those, I think, that about does it for the worst of the week. That was a really long segment. Was that a segment that was like our whole... We both just start crying. I wish I brought some antidepressants for us to have. I have a fucking headache even from just talking about it. I would snort one right now. Jesus.

Truly. Oh my God. I did book my New York trip though. Are you excited? I am. I know you're leaving again. I know I'm leaving August. You're such a little traveler. 13th. I know you're just not. You've literally traveled like 17 times since we've done the pod and I have not gone anywhere. I know because you don't like to travel. I hate it. I love it.

And I'm excited to go to New York. I'm going to do Press for the Pod. I'm going to see Ali. I'm just going to be in New York. It'll be nice. You like New York. I do. You know, I almost moved to New York after I got divorced. You were thinking about it? Yeah, because I was like, you know, I really think my comedy could get so much better there. You have so many more opportunities to get on stage.

I think Austin's like that. Oh, yeah. I mean, because the thing is about New York, you can walk everywhere. It's all walking distance. You can do six sets in a night. Easy. And they actually like pay their comedians. Like here, they'll be like, here's $10 and then you have to pay $18 to park. Yeah. You know, it's like you lose money doing stand up here. But there they actually like respect it as like a real thing.

They pay you. Wow. So I was going to do that, but then I was afraid that maybe I was pulling a geographic, which is like running away from myself and my problems. So, you know, that's when I told you I gave myself a year to like make friends here and see if I could figure it out here. And then I met you. And now I go nowhere. Yeah.

You're like, good luck. You're like, now I go nowhere but the forest with my dad. Yeah. So I go to New York and then I'm going to see Mr. Business. Mr. Business. Mr. Business. With his red dog dick like a dick on a dog. He's got a dick on a dog. Okay. It's red. Okay. Well. It does. It's all red. Some black guys have different colored dicks. I've never. It's like, remember G-Unit had like the Neapolitan dick where it was like brown.

Brown and white and strawberry. Chocolate. Yeah, like a yummy swirl or whatever. Yeah, like a little ice cream sundae. Oh my God, speaking of which, can I say the ice cream thing? Yeah. Because I wasn't going to say it. It's a great segue. I think it's a great segue. So not only having the worst week ever, I was like, okay, my husband and I were like, let's go get In-N-Out one night because we were starving. Yeah.

and we go into in and out and when i grew up i grew up going to friendlies which if you guys know it's like kind of an east coast yummy ice cream mike you know about friendlies i do not okay so it's like an east coast like yummy ice cream lunch place whatever so at friendlies they call a chocolate and vanilla milkshake a black and white milkshake and that's what i've called it my whole life i've called it a black and white milkshake going to mcdonald's whatever wendy's at whatever

So I'm at In-N-Out Burger and there's a black guy behind the counter and I'm ordering my food and everything's cool. And then I say, and he goes, anything to drink? And I said, could I have a medium black and white milkshake? And he just looked up at me and gave me the most like disturbed look. And he's like, what is that? And I was like a black and white milkshake. He's like, you mean a chocolate and vanilla milkshake?

And I was like, yeah, like that's what it is. But I think also you put a little bit of like chocolate syrup in it. That's the difference. But he literally was so mad at me and I was like shocked. It was like one of those things where like –

It was like totally innocent. Me not trying to be like rude in any way by calling it a black and white milkshake. And then I got so confused and I asked you and you're like, I don't even know what a black and white milkshake is. And then I'm like, oh God, is this like a racist thing? Like I didn't even realize saying that was going to be like an issue.

And I could tell it bothered him. And I was like, oh, sorry. I mean a chocolate and vanilla milkshake. But we looked it up and it was just pretty matter of fact. Yeah, it's a thing. That it wasn't rooted in anything racial. I can see how if you've never heard it before. Before he was probably like, what did you just say? Because it's like he grew up probably out here. Yeah. But I was like so hurt by that. Like I was like.

It's one of those situations where you're being misunderstood. You know what I mean? I'm like, I didn't even mean it in a bad way. I just want a milkshake and I've had a hard week. Yeah.

don't leave a blood clot on your car well i literally was literally bleeding and i was like i just need a burger for my iron i just need a milkshake i'm not trying to offend you please god like just let me get through life without hurting people's feelings like i i know you're so sensitive i'm so sensitive too and like i don't ever want to hurt anyone and the fact that like i have with my jokes and like things that i say and i'm like fuck dude what does it say for black and white milkshake i've always seen it called a swirl that's what i remember too

- A swirl and see, I guess a swirl to me would be the ice cream cone with the chocolate and vanilla. You mean, anyway, so that like really made me sad 'cause I was like, fuck to like hurt someone without even like meaning to hurt someone. But I don't know, guys, do you call it? What do you call a chocolate vanilla milkshake? Do you call it a black and white milkshake? We wanna know, guys, let me know. - Guys, let us know. - Guys, I should just jump off the top of the building, guys.

She steals content and just raises. Let me know if I just fucking literally let Brittany hit me with her Tesla. What should I do? Do you want to talk about the Afghani guy at all? Oh my God. Yeah. Sure. Why not? Wait, I feel like we need to talk about Mr. Music first. Mr. Music. Mr. Music won't go away. But I love that. You know what? I think he's so nice.

I do. No, you like that he's successful. And he's a great, great voice. And he's cute. And, you know, I know he's got... If he wasn't that successful, you wouldn't like him. Well, because I don't want you to have to struggle. I think you should be with someone equally successful. But don't you think that someone who has three mouths to feed outside of his own...

That's a lot of mouths. That's a lot. You never know because the baby moms, they look at what he's getting paid and they take it to the court and they go, well, we need $10,000 a month for our kids. It doesn't feel like a peaceful situation for me to enter into. Has he said anything about how he's cool with them or anything? He's really cool with the most recent one. So he has one kid that's under one. He's really cool with the most recent one. But the other one is his ex-wife and that was not...

That was not chill. Oh, boy. And then here's my question. And you don't have to answer this or you can delete it out. But did he use protection with you? Yeah, I made him. Okay. But he probably would he have not? 100% if I didn't make him. So then this is the thing. It's like, is this guy going to keep fucking? Yes, 100%. Yes, yes, yes. I mean, even when we first started talking, he was talking about putting a baby in me. Like immediately. He's like, I want to I want my next kid to be with you. And I'm like,

What are you talking about? How is there not a pill that men can take that makes them infertile for a while? Because they wouldn't take it. Because guys like and are built to breed. Like, that's how they... But anyway, I was slamming his head in the fucking table yesterday when he was texting me. You were so mean to him. Can I read these texts? Guys, read these texts to Brittany. I'm like, you couldn't tell him to fuck off in more ways. I was so...

so mean. And he still likes you. He keeps going. He's gonna like you more now because you don't like him. Literally he saw that I posted this text to my story and he's like next time tag me so people know who I am. He's like stop keeping me a secret. I'm like boy what are you talking about? You are a secret.

Brittany, you were so mean. Okay, so he said, I'm serious. When I saw you last, you only had one wall up. I'm trying to bring it down some. And I was like, I rebuilt them all quickly. Whichever walls came down were rebuilt higher, stronger. There's guards in little towers that will shoot you if they see you coming from the distance. And then he says, what the fuck? Thank God I'm brave. LOL. And I said, and then if you make it past the guards into my house, I will poison you.

Like you couldn't be more obvious that you're like not interested. But he has like a you complex where he's like, challenge accepted. I will make you love me. He's literally you as a boy, Brittany. That's why you fucking can't stand him. That's fucking why, bitch. Because it's you. Talented, successful, won't leave you the fuck alone if they don't like you. That's it. You only have liked the guys that don't like you.

That's not true. That's the only ones you've liked. My husband and I, we liked each other. Yeah, and then he liked you too much and you were like, hey, come out of here. Who likes me this much? Certainly something's wrong with you. Right, I was like, it hasn't worn off yet. You're like, I don't even like me this much.

He's the best. But yeah, that's... Should I get back together with my ex? I mean, we could always keep it as an option, dude. I'm saying. I feel like that man will love you forever. I feel like once they really love you like that... Even my ex has been hitting me up a lot. Really? The one I used to shoot Vines with, Randall. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's been hitting me up a lot. And I was like, how's your wife? Because he has a wife and kids. And he's like, she's great. And like, she likes girls too. And I'm like, what are we talking about here?

like literally sending me like like Brittany okay but wait you would be so mad if Tommy was talking to his ex but I'm like I show Tommy okay I showed him right away I always show him we always show each other and I like barely respond and like look at this Brittany okay yeah look look at him oh yeah oh yeah

That pussy fire, bitch. I haven't even responded once and I'm scrolling still. Yeah, yeah. That's really embarrassing. One. Yeah, that's a tough look. I just go, cool, that's great, blah, blah, blah. And listen, I think he's so sweet. Like, I'm happy for him. I might have him on the podcast. I think that would be funny to have, like, him on just to be, like, talk about. Should we have our man Chris on? Yeah. I think we should. Why not? The exes episode. Chris would never. I Randall Wood in two seconds. Well, obviously. Yeah.

But anyway, I just do think it's really fun. I showed Tommy and he was like, why'd you even respond at all? I'm like, okay, mister, you respond to all me and fucking him and Heather on a group chat. You know what I mean? Well, that's different because it's all three of you. Yeah, because I guess he's not on this. But if it was truly one of his exes, you'd be fucking fuming. Smoke would be coming out of your ears. I mean, Heather's an ex and other people are. The nice ones are cool. She's like the only hall pass because she's like moved on and she's got her own shit going on. The ones that haven't moved on are...

But I guess he's moved on. He's moved on. He's married. They have two kids. Just trying to be a referee. It's so wild. And he's nice. I mean, he's so nice. He's like, I want to meet Tommy. And I've met literally all of Tommy's exes except for one. And...

Like Tommy literally when we bring up like when he remember when he met Josh. Mm-hmm. Hated that experience. Not hated Josh but just was like doesn't want to be around any of my exes. Yeah. And then when I was like oh Randall like wants to get lunch and like you should meet him. He's like why? Yeah. I kind of agree with Tommy. I was like what are you trying to accomplish? I mean there's no need but it's still like I guess like because Randall and I like at the end of the day did have more of a friendship. Like it didn't end easily.

volatile do you know what i mean like i also just don't know that it's necessary you know you don't have like a super meaningful relationship now obviously no no no we don't we don't but i just i always try to just be nice and i always i guess because i feel like i owe him a little bit because of the whole vine situation you don't though you have to stop thinking that i'll fucking buy you an iphone like i know it was just the weird timing okay but that that's it was a gift yeah you don't know anything right you're right vine's

Exactly. I try to be nice, but I mean, like it literally changed my life. So I just, I don't know. I understand that, but I'm just like, you don't just because he bought you a phone doesn't mean you own lunch with your new husband. It's not like a fucking prize system, you know?

No, but it is so nice that like we are both so transparent. We're always like if someone, if one of my exes like says something to me, I'm always like, look, and he does the same, which is really, really nice. And I feel like a lot of people like wouldn't do that. Couldn't be me. Really? You know what? I have a bone to pick with you. What? Oh, God, I'm scared. What? Why won't you share your location with me? Why do you want it? Because where are you? What are you doing? I'm usually at home in bed. You're speaking to a snake.

to hide you and Tommy yeah you guys are obsessed with me Tommy literally okay listen I know I'm really amazing guys but no you and Tommy like Tommy literally today because I told him I was going to the podcast right and I left early because I had to go get a blowout so he fucking pings me and he's like uh why are you not at your podcast you're in Westfield Mall and I'm like I'm getting a blowout at the dry bar so Tommy has your location yeah

Yeah, well, he has it because it's hooked to the car. The Mercedes me connect. I'm dead. You're like, bitch, if you need it that bad, I'll give it to you. Give it to me. Right now? Yeah. Okay. Sharing location. I've been sharing mine with you for so long. I don't even look where you are. Well, why not? I'm fucking dead. Why don't you care about me? I do care about you. That's so funny, Brittany. Okay, how do you even do it? Snick a little sneak. Go to my... Oh, wait. Location. Yeah. Share. Share.

You're going to share it for like one hour and then you're going to unshare it. Yes. Did I do it right? I don't think so. That's okay. I'll do it afterwards. Wait. I have to do it. You have to do it indefinitely, right? Yeah. Okay. For the end of time. I'm screaming. Sometimes you're driving places. I'm like, where is this bitch going? I'm screaming.

I'm dead. I know you're like, you're like, are you, why are you in your car? We just stopped hanging out. I thought you were going to go home. Where did you go? I'm dead. Brittany. I'll do that to Allie sometimes when she's in New York. Do you have a location on with Allie? I have Allie, Ashley. Reina won't share hers with me either, which is suspect. I don't like sharing mine with people, but I did it for you. Why? I guess I like sharing it with Chris because I like to sneak it off. Yeah, you need to be sneaky.

Like Tommy has it With the car But he doesn't have We don't have each other's Like on the phone Because I just feel like I'm too paranoid I will spiral You know what I mean What do you mean Even though there's Nothing to worry about

because when he goes on like boys trips yeah sure but you don't even look at mine you don't even take advantage of the fact i've given you all of i don't because i just am like whatever she's doing is probably cool but i don't need to like be like britney is eating a croissant at the lapan bakery on their street i just show up i can't i don't i would love that uh no ally will be like walking around new york i'm like where you going it's like she just stopped at a 7-eleven she's like

scary you love Ali I love Ali you do does her girlfriend ever get uncomfortable no no no I love Ali although I did just ask her today I was like I want to go to Paris can we go to Paris she's like I'm going with my girlfriend and I'm like

Can I come? Yeah, you're like, well, do you know you guys have a daughter? Yeah. Me? I will also be in Paris at the exact same time. I can't. But I will block your number. I feel like if you were going to be a lesbian, Ally's the one person you could be a lesbian with. No, because we were both single at the same time. And apparently she was shooting her shot with me and I wasn't hot. Really? No, I'm just not. I wish I was. I used to think I was. But I just did Molly. Yeah. You know, it was just like drugs and drinking made me

That does it for a lot of people, I think. More promiscuous. Yeah. But I'm not naturally attracted to women. I wish I was, but I'm just not. Yeah. Allie's the best. I do love her. I know. Okay, well, I'll share my location with you. What else is going on? What else is it? Oh, do we want to talk about the Afghani? Oh, yeah. This is so crazy to me because...

There's this guy that Brittany see is it Afghani he's from Afghanistan. So he's Afghani. I'm first of all, I'm not seeing him I well, okay. Yeah, but what happened was a million years ago We were at a party together and I did not talk to him or anything But he like told his friend like who is that person? I need to talk to her right and then his friend who's another comedian introduced us but that was like post-divorce when I was like

not a vibe. I was like suicidal and like not dating and I was just like not in the right headspace and he like hit me up. It was really sweet and wanted to like hang out and I was like no and then I kind of blew him off and then he got a new phone number and he texted me the new phone number and he's like let me know if you want to hang out and I just didn't respond. I literally just like when he got a new number I just didn't respond. Wow. And then our mutual friend posted a picture of him on his birthday and I was like

Oh, wait a minute. He's hot. Yeah, I was like, is that the motherfucker that was trying to shoot a shot at me? You showed me him and he is a hot guy. He is fine as a motherfucker. Not that I'm acting surprised. Like, I don't know. I like, like, you know, tan guys. Like, they're hot. So he's hot. I've never ever dated. I think one time I fucked a Middle Eastern man, but I've never dated a brown guy before. Some of them are really fine. Like, really fine. I mean, this guy, you're...

Showed me a picture of he looks like he works out. He's got a really crazy good jawline. Yeah. Like you can tell he has demons because he does too many push-ups. But tell us what you tell everyone what he was telling you. Oh my God. I don't know if I should. I wonder if that's like the only way we can really describe it is like two sober people are like the most chaotic when they're together because like we're addicts at our core. And so like this is why I think like Army and I were so like

because we're both addicts so you get like addicted to the other person and we got into like a real trauma dump session and I was like what would you say is like the most traumatic thing that ever happened to you and damn y'all talking about that stuff and he first date totally the way he put my dead mom to bed like the way I was like I shouldn't probably even tell you my mom's dead like it was crazy well he grew up in Afghanistan no he grew up here but he's first generation so his whole family was there and like

Just horrific shit. Oh, yeah. Just being like chopped up. Well, we won't clip this, but I do want to talk about it. Like he was like, my grandpa got like chopped up into pieces and like scattered. And I was like. And for probably something dumb. Yeah. And well, and I guess like the violence. Well, I don't know.

Yeah, we can talk about it. Rita tells me this too. Rita's one of my other best friends is from Iran. And I told you when she told me when she was growing up, she would walk to school and there would be people's heads on. Yes. Yes. Like she would just it was just normal. Yes. She just walked to school with people beheaded and they were their heads were on stage. Yeah. Yeah. They just I think it desensitized stuff. And but there was something when he was talking to me.

I was like oh this is a dangerous motherfucker like this man he's like I've done some shit and I was like not like murder but like some shit like some real violent shit and I was like oh that's kind of hot I was like to know he was like what did he say he said the knowing yourself is to know you can hurt someone and then choosing not to and I was like can you kill me whoa you like hang out with him because you want him to kill you I can't Brittany

That's so funny. But then it was, this happened again where we hooked up and, but we didn't like hook up, hook up. And then he's like, I don't have a condom. We can't have sex. And I was like, oh, fine, bye. And so I leave and I'm just like, so horny. Yeah. Why am I so horny and no one will fuck me? Why would he not have a condom? Invite you over and not have a condom? Was he hoping you would say we don't need one? I don't know. But.

I didn't say that. But he is fine, but he doesn't have, like, a stable job, right? Well, he's got stuff going on. He's, like, a hustler. I'm not worried about that. I'm also, like, here's the thing. Like, for long term, yes, I want someone to have, like, a great job. But you're, like, just having fun. Yeah. This is cool. I'm just, like, trying to have fun. I like this. Just enjoy it. Have fun. Like, it's, like, not a serious... It doesn't have to be so serious. And I think that's, like, what we do as girls because...

we're so delicate with people's emotions because we know how we are. And we're always trying to be considerate and be like, oh, I can't like do this and do that. But like there's guys just fucking running it. Right. I'm like, if your grandpa got chopped into pieces, you can handle me not calling you back. You know, like.

Grandpa, not grandpa, chopped up into pieces. Oh my God. Crazy shit happens over there. I will say though, I had to like fully check my, it's the first time in a long time I had to like check my sex and love addiction. Cause like the next day I like wanted to fuck. I was like, can you bring me coffee and dick? And he was like, oh, I wish. And I was like,

Do you do SLAA anymore? I don't go to meetings, but I still talk to my sponsor and like keep myself in check. Because when I feel myself like when I don't get what I want and I like go fucking feral crazy ass motherfucker, I'm like, OK, I need to check this. This is like I'm being crazy right now.

And sometimes it's such a fine line of being like, is this sex and love addiction or is this like a normal human reaction to feeling rejected? You know, like I feel like a lot of people feel this way, not even just like addicts, you know? Yeah. But I think because mine comes from like the abandonment wound, it's like that rejection kink is like so hardcore. You're like, why don't you like me? I'm going to make you like me. I'm going to prove to you I'm lovable. I was doing that this week where remember we were just talking about it today. We're like,

Me I'm always like when someone loves me I'm always trying to like look for proof that they don't and that's so bad you know what I mean. I have to check you on it. Yeah you have to check me on it because I'm just like this is not real. It's not real. You're like making up a thing in your head because you know. Because in my head I'm like I'm not lovable.

Yeah, and it always kind of comes around the period. Always. Always, like, you start making up situations that aren't real. Yeah. And, you know, I'm like, you don't have a single fact here, so. I know. Well. You just have, like, a feeling. Yeah. And then there's, like, little things that happen that I get kind of, I run with a little bit, but I'm like, ugh. But I think you also dig for those little things. Yeah. Yeah. You go looking for things to be sad about, and you find them, you know, because that's kind of the nature of anything. If you're looking for a problem, you'll find one.

That's so true. Yeah, I know. I need to just, I think the whole thing is like everyone being like, oh, you have to love yourself. And it's so hard, especially when your whole life you've been treated in ways that made you feel like you weren't lovable. So yeah, and I like, I hear you. And I understand that. But I also think like,

You were treated a certain way your entire childhood, but now, you know, we're 35 and 37. Yeah. We're a long ways away from being kids. I'm six. Yeah. You know what's really weird too, though, is I also feel like very regressed. I don't know if you feel that way because I didn't really get to have –

a kid childhood. So I just feel like I never really evolved to a certain point either. You know what I mean? I would buy that. Yeah, it's weird, Britt. It's weird to see yourself getting older

On the outside, the way you feel, all that stuff. And then on the inside, I'm like, I'm just 17. Why am I getting Botox? I'm only 17. I don't need Botox. I'm just learning how to drive. It's so weird. Do you know, I saw something the other day on Instagram that said, I'm 35 now, which means I'm

I think it was, what is, what's the math on that? 17 years away from being 18. So it's like, I have this whole life ahead of me. Basically, I think a woman's age to their average age to live is like 72 or 75 or something like that. But it's like the life ahead of me does not have this childhood trauma, has done all of this healing, doesn't have the financial insecurity of the early 20s, doesn't have all of the

drama and trauma and everything that was in the childhood so you get the next 35 years to leave that behind and to live this life that you've created for yourself that's beautiful and it actually makes me think about another thing I just saw where it was like don't be so

consumed with worries of today that you ignore blessings that you've been given and I'm like sitting here in my life thinking about how God has blessed me and I have everything that I've ever prayed for

literally almost everything, you know? And yet I'm still sitting here going like, and I don't ever want to not seem grateful, you know? Cause I am so grateful. I do think it is human nature to find, you know, problems. God really has come through for me, dude. I was thinking about it. I was like everything I've ever prayed for or ever really wanted. I've pretty much gotten. Yeah. Isn't that astounding? Makes one of us. Yeah.

I did the vision boards. I really did, Britt. I know it sounds crazy, but I really did. I used to do them too. They really worked for me. Okay, we got to do our worst piercing stories. What's yours? You have one too, right? Oh, I have at least two. So I was dating a guy who was in his 20s when I was like 16. Actually, I'll send you guys a picture of him. His name was Josh. How many Joshes can I date?

Anyway, he was a huge alcoholic, but I thought he was so cool and he was punk rock and I was like wannabe punk rock, you know? I was so young and I was like, I want to pierce my labray. This part right here. And my dad was like, absolutely the fuck not. You know, you're not damn. My dad's like very religious and so like tattoos, piercings, he's like, you're not going to desecrate the body that God gave you, right? Yeah.

I had my ears pierced and that was it like a couple times, right? So one night I already was like a self-harmer when I was younger. So I didn't really have like a pain issue. I took a fucking sewing needle, a thick sewing needle, mind you. I burnt it. I pulled my lip out and I fucking jammed it through here, jammed it through my lip and it would just let it sit there for a minute and

And then I didn't have a LaBray, you know, earring. So I just took my...

regular hole earring you know bent the back up like this and put one of those soft backs on it and stuck it through my labray and put the backing on and I was like oh my god I fucking did it I have a pierced labray it was so awesome it was a little diamond and I was like oh my gosh this is fucking awesome right and I put one of those little circular band-aids on it so that like if my dad was like what is that I was like oh I have a pimple right

So a couple weeks go by and I'm noticing that like the inside of my lip is starting to deteriorate. Like it's where I pierced it. It's like the skin has come off in like chunks. Like there's like, yeah, it's like, it's like missing skin. Yeah, it was missing skin on the inside of my lip. Like chunks were out. Right.

And I started not feel good and I was like taking a nap and I didn't have the little bandaid on it. And my dad came home from work early and I was sleeping and he came in and he was like, what the fuck is that? And he was like, ah, I was like, ah, like Bart Simpson. Not really though. But anyway, so then he took me to the doctor.

And they were like, you have an infection, obviously. And also the earring back had – because it wasn't a Labre piercing. It wasn't flat. It was just bent. And so it was irritating the inside of my lip and making all the skin come off. So I took it off and they were – I took it out and they were like, you're going to have a keloid. Like you're going to have a giant bump there because you fucking did this to yourself. And everyone was so mad at me. And then it actually healed and I don't have a keloid. So – but yeah. Yeah.

Wild piercing experience, dude. Yeah, fucking wild to myself. Disgusting. I cannot believe you did that to yourself. That's so gangster. And I wasn't even, I didn't even drink anything or numb it in any way. I just did it. Like, I was so weird. Like, not even an ice cube? Maybe an ice cube, but probably not because I was just so self-harmy that it didn't hurt me back then. Yeah. Ugh, it was so bad. Anyway, yeah, that was probably my worst. Ooh.

- Yeah, that was my worst piercing. I used to do fucked up shit to myself just for fun. Like I would take salt and I have burn on my leg right here.

I don't know if you can still see it. See that like little scar right there? So I used to pour salt on my leg and I used to put an ice cube on top and it would cause a chemical burn. Brittany. Yeah, I was so fucked up. I would do that all the time. Well, thank God you're not anymore. Yeah, I mean, the drugs are working. But yeah, I used to do all kinds of shit, like really horrible. I was so sad. I always wished I could be a cutter because I was like all the, you know,

My friends were doing it. Really? And I was like, what? You know, I didn't want anyone to know. I hid everything. Oh, yeah. My friend like showed me when she was doing it once. And I was like, oh, I think my best friend, my best friend knew. But that's it. Yeah. Yeah. Because I was like, I was so like I was borderline like wanting I wanted to die, but I didn't have the courage. That's where it was like the middle ground. That's so interesting to feel that way as a child, because like I didn't get that until much later in life. My life was hell. Yeah.

So was mine. But I didn't even know it was an option. Like, I wonder where you got that information. Well, I just hated my life like we...

Didn't ever do anything or go anywhere. My mom was a nightmare. My dad was like not really affectionate I spent all my time alone. I was bullied in school like no, I we had a very similar experience I wanted to be here anymore. Yeah, I just wonder where you got the thought so young like I want to die Well, my mom used to tell me when I was little that she was gonna kill herself. Okay, that's where you got the idea That's where you got the idea cuz I really didn't ever consider suicide as an option until my mom killed herself. I

Oh, really? And then after that, I like the suicidal depression and ideation came on like a tsunami. Like I had never had it before. And then I was like, all I want is to die. And I never felt that way before.

But I also probably was numbing pretty effectively with drugs and alcohol. Yeah. So. Yeah, it's weird for me because I wanted to die so badly when I was younger and I was like, you know, unmedicated. And then as soon as I got medicated, I haven't had those. I haven't had a thought like I'd give one last thing I want to do is die. Yeah. So it's so weird. I'm terrified of dying now. I went the other way around. I used to not care.

So yeah, it's pretty crazy. Yeah. Yeah. So my worst piercing, I have two of them. First one is similar to your story. I didn't do it myself. But I basically when I was supposed to go to ASU, I wanted to get my eyebrow pierced. It's something that I always want. Like, I don't know why I just was like, I want this so bad. And I was 18. And my dad knew he was not going to stop me.

And he's like, Brittany, please do not get your eyebrow pierced. He's like, that's just going to look so trashy. Yeah, that's like a trashy one kind of. Yeah. No offense to anyone that has their eyebrow pierced. It's like very 2000s. Yeah. And he's like, that's not going to be something you want on your face. He's like, I will pay for you to get your belly button pierced if you don't get your eyebrow pierced. Yeah. Okay. So I was at ASU for orientation. I get it pierced at kind of like a janky like piercing salon. Your tummy? Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Long story short, I do not go to ASU and I ended up... This is how long this fucking infection lasted. Oh no. So it got infected and...

And I was living. I went to UW-Milwaukee for my first semester. And the entire time, I would touch it and pus would just come out of it. I would touch it and pus would come out of it. But I didn't do anything about it because I didn't know that anything needed to be done. I was like, oh, it's just healing. It just takes time, whatever. I would like wash it off in the shower. And every time I touched it, like pus would pour out of it. It was gnarly as fuck. And then...

I didn't do anything about it until I got to Marquette. So this is like a whole semester later. I got to Marquette and I remember sometimes when it would hurt, I would start drinking. So I just like wouldn't feel it. And I remember I had like a heavy night of drinking and it was hurting and I could feel like when I touched it, I could feel the pain like in my spine and in like the like behind my ears. Like I felt like knives were like digging into me. It was just like this pain like all over my body.

And so I finally went to like the campus nurse and I was like, I don't know. And it was just like this massive infection. Was it all crusty and shit? Yes. And she's like, how long has this been infected for? Your belly button's just hanging off. Yeah. I'm like...

months like isn't it kind of cute that has a playboy bunny the bunny's all covered across the playboy bunny it's all like literally i got it in august or no when was orientation probably like may or june and then i didn't go seek help for the infection until like january or february oh you could have died of like 100 100 she's like this is a real problem you need to take it out and i'm like no

I was like, are you kidding me? It's such a vibe. She's like, it's going to kill you. I was like, it's hot. I was like, I'll just throw some like rubbing alcohol on it. And she was like, no, you need to like take antibiotics. So I took antibiotics. I was like, but I'm not getting rid of it. And she's like, okay, whatever. And now because I don't have this piercing anymore.

I have the gnarliest scar on my belly button because it literally was just tearing and getting infected and tearing and getting infected. And like it was just for months and months and months, just like this crazy infection that I never treated. Who gave you the antibiotics? A doctor? Yeah. Did they work? Yeah. Yeah. So it stopped. And then I kept that piercing for like, you know, five years. I'm surprised the doctor didn't make you take it out. She tried.

And I was like, no. Dude, you would have been so dead in Oregon Trail. My body, my choice. That little bunny is staying right where it is. What's crazy is years later when I was on this fishing trip I go on with my dad, the way that we bathe is in the lake. And I had my...

pierced belly button and I had a red like jewel charm hanging out of it like you know one of the long dangly ones and a fish came and like bit it and I'm like man this thing has just gotten worked dude are you worried about like tadpoles swimming up your pussy no not at all just little like

There's fucking frogs hatching out of your foot. No, that's drinking water. Yeah. No, I like it. It's drinking water. I'm going to send her the TikTok of the guy who took a fucking thing out of a crystal stream and put it under a microscope. And there's all kinds of weird like thing with 17 eyes. Like, what the fuck? I'm screaming. I'm getting you the straws. I'm getting you the straws. Fine, whatever. I'm dead. Give me a straw. You just have a parasite in your brain. That's what I'm doing. Hopefully. Like, give me.

Get me out of here. Women used to eat tapeworms to stay skinny. Yeah, exactly. I would be skinnier if I had worms. Brittany. They used to do it on purpose. Yeah, they'd put it in a pill and they'd eat it. And then lots of women would die because the way to get it out, if you couldn't get it right, doctors would literally fish for worms and pull them back out of the women.

fun time it's a win oh it's a win you're either skinny or you're dead that's let's bring it back and then it's crazy so the other piercing that i had was i had this phase when i moved to la where i would get drunk at the sidewalk cafe in venice and then i would go over to house of ink which was right next door and i would get tattoos the most ghetto tattoo place um yeah all of the tattoos i'm removing are from there literally

This feather is from there. I can't remove that. Those are armies. This anchor is from there. The peace sign is from... Everything is from there because I would get drunk. Even that one? No, this one I got in Wisconsin. I did get it redone there though. So the reason it's not coming off is because I got it redone here. The I love you that I'm getting taken off is from... Like I would go get hammered and either get a tattoo or a piercing. So I got destroyed drunk and I went over there

And I got my Marilyn pierced. Oh, I feel like that would have been cute on you back when it was popular. I don't think it was popular at the time. I remember the girls like Von Dutch era kind of having those. Yeah, but it was always trashy. Yeah, well, yeah. I just think face piercings. That was the vibe then. But I'm like hungover, destroyed, drunk. I forgot I got this piercing. I wake up late to go to work. At this time, I'm working at Zambezi, that advertising agency, and I'm working the front desk.

So I'm like the face of the agency. I have no makeup on. My hair is a mess. And I just have like this swollen, crazy fucking piercing. And I remember the owner of the agency being like, interesting choice. Oh, boy. Like pissed. And I was like, yeah.

You're like, my hair? Thanks, man. I decided not to comb it today. Just totally forgot you fucking did it. He's like, that's a choice. And I was like, yeah. And then it didn't last long because I was sucking an NBA player's dick. And...

Why are you blinking at me like that? Because it always comes back to the NBA players. It can be like the most random thing. And it's like, and anyway, an NBA player. It's like, it just ends the story. I'm dead. And what happened? I was sucking his dick and the back of the piercing, because it was like, you know, the beginning piercings are like a little bigger or whatever. The back of the piercing got stuck on my tooth and it ripped it out, but it came through.

And so I was like, this one. Yes. And like it was on my tooth. It went into my mouth and I was like, he's like, what did you just spit across the floor? Did you spit out my dick? Like, what was that? I can't. That's my piercing. Don't worry about it.

And I'm so lucky it healed because otherwise it could have been like this big ugly scar. You have no hole or anything. Yeah. I'm glad you didn't get your eyebrow pierced because that's like a scar no matter what. Like you're never going to not have a scar from that. Yeah. You know, everyone that gets that pierced has a scar. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Oh my God. Those are some crazy stories. Wow.

fucking i also had my industrial pierce which i really loved but that one came out and i think that was just god telling me it was time yeah that one's i remember when everyone did that one too yeah i'm now i just have my ears i even took my nose ring out guys i'm like i'm an adult yeah well it doesn't look great right now because it's a giant hole put a little scar cream on it yeah i need to get some scar cream that's a good idea because it is really fucking deep i'm like oof maybe i shouldn't have done that no no no it's it

It was the move. No, I mean like getting it to begin with. Yeah. Well, the thing about nose piercings now too is you can just get the little like temporary ones. Yeah. I didn't want to be like a poser. Right. I'm like, I gotta get fucking stabbed. I gotta earn my stripes. Yeah, I get it. I can't. Okay. So should we read some of these listeners? Yes! Let's do our worsties! Worst piercings. Do you want to go first or do you want me? I'll go. I got my nipples pierced one summer in college. Hell yeah.

Yeah, girl. To surprise my boyfriend who was coming back from working away all summer. I was at the mall trying on lingerie for him when I snagged the piercing on some lace and completely ripped it out of my nose. I wanted to take the lingerie off. Oh, my God.

Literally part of my areola was hanging from this lingerie and my nipple was pouring blood. Dude, Tommy wants me to get my nips pierced so bad. Really? That's all he wants. He begs me like every day. Really? Yes. This is horrible. Okay. I had to take a swimsuit pad from the dressing room and put it over my nipple and walk out with my flesh nipple piercing and bloody white lace lingerie in hand and bring it back to the checkout counter because I could not hide this amount of blood and flesh from

and full of blood and flesh back in the racks. Needless to say, my nipple grew back and I say nipple lightly. It looks like a weird ass belly button and now we're getting married so he'll be with

My one nipple ass for the rest of his life. Oh, my God. At least you guys are getting married. Mazel tov, you know? Dude, that's crazy that it ripped it off and now it's like just a flat. I have heard the worst things about nipple piercings. My friend got her nipples pierced and they looked so hot. Yeah. But she just said she was in constant pain. Oh, yeah, they're irritating. Like, you know how when you're about to get your period, you get really tender and like it hurts to touch a little bit. She said it was like that for a year.

Oh, I couldn't do it. And she's like, it never, she's like, yeah, I looked fucking sick when I took my top off, but like, it just hurt. It was never, because they're supposed to, if they're done right, they're supposed to make it feel better and like more sensual. Yeah, Tommy said it like turns him on and like, because he has the circles. Right, right, right. Yeah, and he's like, when the wind blows the right way, I just get a boner. I'm like, okay, calm down, like first of all, but I don't want it. You're like, I will take out the wind. I'm already sensitive. Yeah, I'm like, who's the wind? Who's the wind? Who's the wind? I fight the wind. Yeah.

I'm in the backyard punching air. I'm screaming. But no, he wants me to so bad and begs me all the time. But I'm like, no, my boobs are already triple Ds. And when I get my period, they swell to ease. Not doing it. It's too painful. I already have to wear a sports bra every day. They'd be squished in there. Not doing it. Just not doing it. So, yeah.

But that is insane. That's my biggest fear. You know, that's why he has the round ones because he said when he had the bars, it got snagged on everything, especially like on stage. He'd wear like a fishnet shirt. And if he took it off too fast, he said it would just go yoink. And it's like horrible. So that's why he switched to the little circles. But he said it happened to him a lot. Imagine his fucking wiener to the bar gets caught sometimes on his underwear.

Oh, I forget he has his dick pierced. Yeah, the, what's the, the fernum? It's the underneath. The fernum, I think, is piercing freedom. So, why would he not take that out? He loves it. Oh. And it like, I don't even like love it. Yeah. You know, because it's like his wiener is already big. Right. And then it's like, let's add metal to it. Right. Like, it doesn't need metal. You know what I mean? Let's make this thing fun.

and really rock and roll. Jesus Christ. Let's make it industrial. I'm like, I'm good. It's like machinery at this point. I'm like, can we not fuck me with the drill? Like, oh my God. Talk about things getting snagged. Dude, snagged. Actually, that's a crazy story about him that he told me. One time he was, it was either his piercing or hers. And she writes about this in her book, Jenna Jameson. He was fucking Jenna Jameson. And I think his piercing

It was either his or her piercing got lost inside of her. And they were like, wait a minute, there's a piercing missing after they were like done fucking. And he had to like bend her over in the bathroom and like literally stick his like whole hand in her vagina trying to fish it out. Like after they had sex trying to find this thing. Yeah, but I'm sure she had a big puss room. I mean, she did a lot of porn, you know what I mean? He was probably just like, he probably just walked in. You know what I mean? Like, let me take a look around. He has a headlamp on. What the fuck?

I'm dead. No, I'm just kidding. But yeah, like it was, he had to fish it out. Like they defy was deep in there. Anyway, I've only ever fished out a condom. Yeah. I mean, crazy. I had been wanting to get my tongue pierced for quite some time. So I finally pulled the trigger. That one's so painful. I finally pulled the trigger and did it. And then you, yeah,

Sometime later, I was giving my boyfriend head and he had already had his ball sack pierced for a few years. Fuck. He had a double hoop through his ball sack. It was so hot until I got my tongue barbell stuck through his ball sack piercings.

It sounds like it wouldn't be too difficult to get my tongue untangled, but it was absolutely horrendous. It sounds very difficult. Yeah. He couldn't bend down either to see why it was stuck. It hurt so much. It felt like my tongue was going to rip out of my mouth. My roommate was home, so I called them into my room to access the situation. No.

the roommate. Did he stay hard? I'm dead. She carefully got my tongue uncaught and she was dying of laughter. I mean, that is hilarious, but also terrible. Needless to say, we both removed our piercings and we're both horrified from this unthinkable incident. Thank God you had a roommate. Imagine having to call the police. Or like an ambulance. Which happens all the time. Sure. Yeah, dude. Oh my God. You never have to see the officer again. You have to see your roommate for life. Yeah, that's true. But at least it's like your friend who can make fun of you.

The officers just shoot your dick off. They're like, what is this? So gun happy, the police just fucking blow your dick off. Perpetrator. A Milwaukee piercing story. Milwaukee hometown. As a rebellious 19-year-old in Milwaukee back in 2010, I took my boyfriend, now husband. Everyone's bragging with the now husband. There's a lot of now husbands. To avant-garde. Oh my God, I've been there. In West Allis, the dirty Salas. Yes, to get my nipples pierced. Being a...

Oh my god.

I'm dead. To this day, my husband still can't believe I went through with it after seeing that girl's nippleless breasts. Let's just say I air dried for a couple of weeks. Bro, I would never use a terrycloth towel again if I got my nipples pierced. Also, to go back to avant-garde, the piercing salon is a strange choice.

Like to have your nipple get caught on the towel and it rips off and then you go to the piercer? Like what is he supposed to do? Refund you? People are weird, man. Well, I think they don't think clearly, you know, in like emergency situations. They're like, oh, you did this so you fix it. It's why like sometimes when you call like an animal hospital or something, they'll be like, if this is an emergency...

dial or like go to a not an animal hospital that's a bad example if you call a doctor's office and they're like their voicemail is like giving you the options and they're like also this is an emergency call 9-1-1 you know what I mean like because people don't think clearly they're like I'm just gonna call Dr. Ted and see what he thinks about my leg getting chainsawed off oh my god it's insane actually yeah

Okay, this one. I learned very young that I have the worst skin and my body rejects piercings. There's a lot of people like this. I was 16 and I got my nose and belly button and industrial bar all done at the same time. Whoa, going hard.

I thought I was that bitch. You know she's just getting ready for a house fest. A week in, I developed a huge keloid on my nose. It was like the zit from hell because it could not be covered with makeup and it was bright red Rudolph vibes. I refused to take my piercing out and the keloid started to cover the diamond of the piercing. Yeah.

I finally had enough and grabbed my box cutter and cut that bitch off, reinserted my piercing and went about my day. What?

Thankfully, it didn't grow back and I ended up keeping my nose ring for several years after that. Dude. How bad did you want your nose pierced? Dude, how did you have a scar? During this time, my belly button piercing also rejected and it pushed out of my skin. I just ripped it right out. Oh my God.

I even pierced that bitch twice and it rejected it a second time. This bitch is hardcore. She's hardcore. I also got a keloid in my ear with the industrial, but that was easier to cover. Bruh.

Bro. Thank God I've never gotten those bumps from piercings. Those things are gnarly. Yeah, chelates are tough. Crazy, man. That's fucking nuts. That reminds me of the girl who wrote in, remember, about her pussy having the diamond split in the middle and she just cut it with kitchen scissors? Oh. That girl that wrote into us? No, I don't, but I'm glad you remember. Jeez, wow, that's going to stay with me for life. Yeah.

A few weeks ago, I thought it would be an awesome idea to impulsively get a helix piercing at a tattoo shop I'd never been to before. The shop looked super cute and totally fit my style as an alternative person. I got the piercing. It didn't hurt at all, and it was super cute.

the healing process was going perfect the only thing that was wrong was they gave me sinus wash to clean my piercing I thought this was weird I've had six piercings done previously and never was given sinus wash I decided to listen to the piercer as they are professional and apparently know more than I do a few days later I woke up and felt a bit of

a bit of pain in my ear. I thought it was normal until I looked in the mirror and realized my ear was comically large. I had doubled in size. I was leaking pus. No, literally everywhere. Several panic attacks later, I booked a doctor's appointment and they prescribed me the strongest oral antibiotic that my body weight could take. A

Apparently, I had an infection that could have done serious damage if I waited any longer to get antibiotics. Lesson learned. I will read reviews before getting piercings. I am still on antibiotics and my ear has somewhat subsided from looking like cauliflower ear. Yeah, I mean, that's like... It's crazy because you just...

I don't know. I feel like the nature of getting a piercing is you want to be tough. Yeah. So when like the healing process is like gnarly, you're like, yeah, this is just part of it. I'm tough. I'm tough enough for this. And you don't realize like a full blown fucking. You know what's really wild? I have. Infection is going on. I have these piercings up here. Yeah.

These took a year to heal. So I got my, what's this called? The trach or something? Tronc? Trach? Tronc? Tronc? I don't know what it's called. This part of my ear. I have it pierced too. I loved this little piercing, but it took a year to heal. And when I started wearing earplugs. Oh, it fucks with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It does. That's why I can't wear earplugs in this ear. But yeah, but that one healed fast on me. These little bitches on both sides, I got them done at the same time.

Dude, I couldn't fucking sleep on either side for like a fucking year. I was and I kept writing to the guy who did it and being like, dude, this is like six months in and I'm still crusty. And he's like, yeah, this this area is talking, but it's going to be holes there forever. Yeah. And now here we are, like four years later, and they're finally good. You know, it's just but it's crazy. They were crusty for like almost a year.

I love all your piercings. Yeah. All your piercings and tattoos. You love mine? Yeah. Oh, thanks. I kind of like sit here and you're removing your tattoos and I kind of wish I never got tattoos. That's how I feel now. I wish I never got them. Yeah, I feel that way now. If you don't have a tattoo, just really think about it because in the moment you're like, oh, this is so rad. But I'm like, I'm sitting here and I'm like, I don't want any tattoos. Yeah. I don't. I don't want any. I just want to be bare skinned. But I also like, I did eight sessions on these. Yeah.

You can see it kind of broke apart a little bit. But it kind of looks like that's just how that tattoo was supposed to be. Really? All like crusty, kind of like falling. No, not crusty. Not like, but like faded out. Yeah, like faded out. Yeah, and then this one kind of broke. But like it just, I did eight on these and I was like, this is way too painful. It's taking way too long. And I was just like, fuck it. And I gave up. You know what I mean? I can't believe you did eight on that black one. Yeah.

Yes, this and this. Eight. I actually can't believe that, for real. See how the line kind of is gone in some spots? Yeah, I would buy four, but eight is so many. Like, eight is literally that one on my hip that's gone. I know. I'm telling you. I don't know if it was, like, a bad place or something. It wasn't, like, a...

It was just at a dermatology office, you know? So maybe it wasn't the right place to go to. I feel like in a couple of years they're going to have something. Yeah, I'm going to wait. I hope. Tattoo removal now is way too fucking painful. Yeah, it fucking sucks, dude. So painful. It sucks. Almost like lips getting dissolved. Tattoo removal or like both up in the moose. Painful shit you can do to your body. The worst. The worst. Like war torture tactics. Yeah, totally. Okay, so we got our segment with Bad Vice. Bad.

Where you guys write in and ask us for bad advice and we're here to give it to you. Okay, so here's my bad advice question. What do you do when both you and your partner struggle with mental health issues? My boyfriend and I both suffer from depression and anxiety. Our periods of being in a good place mentally never seem to line up. Oof, that sucks. If one of us is doing well, then the other one is going through a difficult time. It seems to switch on and off every

every few months and can be really draining at times and definitely takes a toll on the relationship. We both love each other and we do our best to support one another and are truly each other's best friends. We are planning to move in together within the next few months and I was wondering if either of you have a similar experience. What bad advice do you give? Yeah, I would love to take this one.

Go ahead. Yeah, I've contributed after. So, yeah, my ex and I, the thing with us that was tough was I don't think it was diagnosed at the time, but we were both sort of going through depressive states. And like when he was in the darkness, I would be doing, and sometimes that's like the balance you need because if you're both in the darkness at the same time, it can be very, very dark. But it is a little frustrating when you're feeling like,

I'm doing good. And then you have to kind of bring the other person, bring the other person up and console them and help them. And like, you know, you know exactly what they're going through. So no one's more qualified to help them get through it. But it's just one of those things where it's like, you can bring a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. You know, you can't, you can't make somebody feel better. You can't make somebody exercise. You can't make somebody journal. You can't make someone meditate. You can't make anyone do anything to make themselves feel better. Like you just can't,

what I ultimately did in my relationship was lead by example and I would work out a lot and I would eat healthier and I would do these things where like when I noticed when he was down in the dumps I'm like you gotta kinda come with me come do these things you know what I mean like and it didn't always work cause sometimes people are too deep to even see the light um

But I would definitely say it worked with like drinking. Like when I quit drinking about a year after I quit drinking, he like just saw how much better my life got and then he quit drinking and to this day he still doesn't drink. So it is like...

You know, it's frustrating, but that's like the nature of a relationship. We were just talking about this today within our friendship. I was just going to say, our friendship is like this. Yeah. Because we both have our moments of being really in the darkness. Yeah, like I was super for a while. I still slip into it, but with the special, I had a really hard time.

I didn't feel proud of it. I didn't feel good about it. And I kind of was just in this like loop, you know, and it was like you and I am so grateful for you, but you were just having to pull me out of it and be like, this is great. I would tell you if it wasn't great. This is great. Like, you know, and then when you go into your little paranoia or whatever it is, kind of making up stories that aren't real. I'm like, I love you, but.

This isn't true. Yeah. This is not the truth. So it's definitely difficult, but I think this is the nature of most relationships is everyone can't always be up all the time. Yeah, I think we each kind of go, I mean, and this is just life, but I mean, it's so interesting to me because the drinking thing is a really big factor. I mean, I just notice even my own relationship when...

Tommy's drinking, he's way more depressed, you know? And I just think that's for people in general. And people like to think, oh, drinking makes me happy. It really... It's a depressant. It's a depressant. And I was to tell people that sometimes they're really surprised because they're like, no, it makes me social. It makes me cozy. It gets rid of my anxiety. No, the after effect of drinking is depression. It's going to bring you down. And I don't know if either of you are drinking or if you're sober or not. That could be like a really big contributor. And I hate to force sobriety on anybody, but...

I wouldn't call myself completely sober now. I have a glass of wine here and there. But being mostly sober is like, you know, I don't really, I don't drink, you know. So it's like, I just think it's better for your mental health. That's too, when you are dealing with like legitimate mental health issues, to not have any other factors that could be making it worse, which drugs and alcohol are those other factors. It's nice to know like, okay, I'm depressed. Am I actually depressed or am I drinking myself to death right now?

now you know what i mean so also i'm a big i love couples therapy i think couples therapy i think everyone even if you have the best relationship i feel like you should have couples therapists i think it can really be life-changing in your relationship sometimes to have like a third person to you know kind of help come in and help you guys navigate a situation i i'm a big advocate for that because it's like relationships are

My husband says this, the relationship's like a bonsai tree, right? You have to water it. You have to take care of it. You have to tend to it. The relationship cannot just be left out in the sun, you know? Like, it needs care. So sometimes that means a therapist or checking in with each other or whatever. So I highly, I think...

relationship therapists are amazing and can be life changing for relationships too so I wish you guys the best I really do I hope you guys work it out otherwise cut that depressed loser loose no I'm dead maybe you guys can both get on meds together yeah

Meds are life-changing for some people. All right. These are good vibes from listeners. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing all the raw and not so beautiful things in life, all while making me laugh my ass off. It's so relatable and refreshing. I lost my dad to suicide when I was seven months pregnant with my firstborn.

My relationship with my mom is meh. Addiction runs rampant in the family, etc., etc., but I'm breaking the cycle and raising some beautiful children in a happy home. Anyway, listening to you guys has been so fucking funny, healing, and makes my drive to work so great. Thank you, beautiful humans. That's so sweet. Aw, hugs, girlfriend.

I've been listening to you guys from day one. Oh, we love a day one worstie. I truly love and look forward to hearing you guys every week. I always put it on in the morning when I'm on my way to work and it gets me in an amazing mood. Oh, I love that. You guys never let me down. You're amazing. Thank you for being you. We love you. Oh, the last one. Thank you guys so much for this podcast. I struggle with depression and anxiety too. I'm so glad you're normalizing it and sharing your journeys. Your podcast is my favorite. I love your friendship.

I love you guys. And by the way, our shirts are restocked. This is the worst shirts are restocked in all sizes. So if you head to the link at our Instagram bio at this is the worst pod on Instagram, they have the link. You can get your feral shirt. You can get your this is the worst pod shirt in all sizes or this is the worst shirt ever.

in all sizes. Guys, thank you so much for tuning in. We are so grateful for all of you, honestly. We love the submissions this week. They were great. Reminding you guys that you can voice message in. We always love a voice note. Yes. Link to send the voice memo is in the Instagram bio. Make sure you like, subscribe, follow, share all that good shit. There are new episodes every Wednesday. Don't forget to DM us or write in your worst experiences or ask us for your bad advice. We are here to help or hurt.

We love you guys so much. Thank you so much. Bye. Bye.

Thank you guys for listening to This Is The Worst podcast powered by Just Media House. This Is The Worst is hosted and executive produced by Brittany Furlan Lee and Brittany Schmidt. If you enjoyed our show, don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, rate, and review. Stay connected with us on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and Snapchat at This Is The Worst Pod. Studio provided by Second Floor Studios, podcast and social artwork produced by the Forward Digital and Product Limited.

Thank you to our post-production team at Creative Evolution Studios. Theme song to This is the Worst podcast performed by Midnight Noise. This is the worst where we are going to make the best of the worst.