cover of episode IVF Results & Tell All w/ My Husband Greg: What It’s Really Like

IVF Results & Tell All w/ My Husband Greg: What It’s Really Like

2025/2/13
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Mari Llewellyn: 我认为给20岁出头的人最好的关系建议是享受乐趣,找到自我,并投入到友谊和经历中。应该更多地去了解自己,这样当你准备好进入一段关系时,你就会知道自己想要什么。重要的是互相支持彼此的目标,让彼此变得更好。 Greg: 如果你想在年轻时就建立恋爱关系,那就找一个仍然允许你在个人层面上进步的人。如果我们已经准备好了,并且现在认为时机完美,那么为什么不采取这种不仅加速,而且可能比自然方式更优越的试管婴儿方式呢?

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This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast, and I'm your host, Mari Llewellyn. What is up, guys? Good morning. Good morning, Greg. Good morning. We just had quite the morning. We did. I haven't been this rushed in a while. I'm like a little stressed, honestly. Like, I don't really know how you keep up with this lifestyle. You're strained. I'm a little strained. First of all, I'm kind of under the weather, so I apologize in advance for my voice. But we had a Walmart photo shoot at 9am all the way in

Cedar Creek Rock, wherever we were. So now I'm in Texas, like something might be 30 miles away. Yeah. I feel like our cars are getting like major mileage on them living in Texas. I mean, I drove all the way to Dallas this past weekend. Exactly. But like we had a great photo shoot. It looked good. Yeah, it looked really good. Our energy drinks hit like...

We have the variety pack there. We have the drinks in the cold fridge. That was really crazy to see it like by the checkouts. For some reason, you could have the biggest display in the center of the store. But if you just see your drink in a fridge. Yeah. But nothing's better than seeing somebody drinking in the wild. A guy walked in in front of us drinking a blue absolutely is not our demographic. I don't want to say that we have like a particular demographic. I mean, obviously, generally people drinking bloom are like women, men.

20 to 30 ish but like to see a guy drinking bloom with his hoodie on like kind of crazy yeah greg is here today because we're going to talk about all things relationship marriage supporting each other fertility journey together ivf how to be the best support for your partner going through something hard are we ready to do that yeah we threw this in last minute but i'm uh

You'll get my organic take. We didn't throw it in last minute. It was always going to be recorded. Yes. But then I got sick. It was going to be next week, but now it's this morning. Yeah, but we're always ready to chat. Sometimes this is the best perspective. It'll be kind of a deep episode, guys. But let's see. And people always just ask rogue questions, which I'll never...

skip a rogue question so like why not best relationship advice for someone in their early 20s that's so hard i feel like i was like a completely different person in my own i mean we met in our early 20s i was 20 years old when we met we had our 21st birthdays together well give or take definitely not together but we were talking we did mine together

Yes, but I'm older than you. Yeah, good point. So I wasn't with you on my 21st birthday. No, that was like 10 years later or before. But anyway, early 20s, it's tough to give relationship advice because my advice is honestly to have fun and just find yourself and like lean into friendships and experiences. And I would lean into like finding out more about yourself.

so that when you're ready for a relationship, you know what you want. Yeah. I think just finding a relationship that if you do want to be in a relationship in your younger years, finding somebody who still allows you to progress on an individual level. Yeah, totally. Right. So if you are super into fitness and she's not, that's okay, but you can go pursue that lifestyle and she just

Hopefully supports you having that lifestyle or maybe that's the career. Maybe that's art. Maybe that's whatever it is Yeah, I mean that was kind of us like when we first met you were so into fitness and I wasn't at all That's something that you want to do So you don't want to ever have like a potential for future resentment or something like that Supporting each other's goals making each other better But I I do think for most people it's like a great time to have fun and like learn who you are Yeah fun school

We just have such a unique situation. How did we decide when it was time for IVF? We always kind of had like milestones, I would say, that we had penciled into the calendar. Timeline milestones, you know, I don't want to speak for you, Mari, but I know you really wanted to like try to get to a successful point of this journey, right?

while you were 30. Okay. It wasn't so much about that for me. I get what you're saying. Like in my head, mentally, I always wanted to have kids like by the time I was 30, which honestly wouldn't recommend like putting a timeline on it. Like that's very stressful and like puts pressure on it. It's okay. That's not recommended. Here's how actually how I thought about it. And you chime in. I want to hear your perspective in my head. I was like, I want to try naturally for a full year. So we started trying naturally. No,

November of 2023 for context, because we moved to Austin early 2024 and now we're in 2025. So I wanted to get to like a full year of trying. And that was when I started exploring IUI, which is like

Kind of the step before IVF, it's like when you take medication and what they say is they basically give the sperm an Uber ride to the right place and they clean it and just help the chances. And then I think I also told myself I wanted to do three IUIs before then going to IVF. For us, I think it was so much about the mental exhaustion of it. I think we feel very ready.

We have felt very ready to have children. For a long time. Yeah, for a while now. And I think we don't have any type of... I don't know if... I don't think you do. We don't have any type of like moral reserve to not pursuing doctor intervention. And so...

So if it's something that we are ready for and we want, and we think right now is the perfect time, it's like, why wouldn't we take this not only expedited version of this, but also potentially a superior to natural way of going about it, which is what IVF seems to be. I mean,

I know that's maybe not how you're thinking. That's how I think about it. And then on top of that, this sounds silly, but we found it very difficult to follow the timeline constraints for IUI or natural contraception. So I travel all the time.

Time and travel is always an issue regardless of what you're doing. So if there's like this one week window where we're supposed to be trying naturally and or preparing for an IUI and I'm in LA or Arkansas or whatever it may be, or Mari has, you know, brand commitments as well, of course, it seemed to always fall.

on times where we were separated. But that's going to apply during IVF also. Yes. So we said, okay, if we enter IVF, it's we're not leaving the house. And so we stayed home for Thanksgiving. We stayed home for Christmas and we're staying home for most of January. Very intentional. You're traveling constantly in January. Fair, but my part's done. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. You are less important, but just for context, like I see girls talk about this and they're like, how am I supposed to do IVF? I have a wedding here, this here, this here. I decided to do IVF during the holidays, which I think was really great timing because there was not much going on. Everyone was away. We decided to not travel. Like I fully just said, I am doing IVF in this window, cancel everything that I have. It was pretty crazy. I've never really seen Mari pull a trigger like that before. Like Mari...

you know, hosting the pursuit of wellness, Mari intentionally tries to increase her wellness initiatives in her day-to-day life. And will say, you know, I'm going to try to have more balance or I'm going to try to, you know, work less or whatever it may be. I've never actually done it. She's never actually done it.

Sorry for this little call out right now. This last three months, Mari has said no to everything that wasn't completely necessary, whether that was power related, bloom related, social life related, family related, holiday related. We didn't travel to the holidays that our family were participating in. Mari has totally committed to it. And travel is stressful, especially for you.

But like I think even if you don't feel like travel stressful, like when I travel, I sleep like shit. When I travel, I eat like shit. When I travel, I eat out and I drink and like, you know, I'm all over the place. Like that's our life as entrepreneurs. My biggest piece of advice for girls listening who are like, how do you fit it in the calendar? Like whether you're trying naturally or IUI or IVF.

You need to just decide what is most important to you. And I just had this moment where I was like, this is the most important thing to me. Nothing else matters compared to this. Like I'm going to put this first and I'm going to clear my entire schedule.

And you just kind of need to make that decision. And I think you're going to look back and be, I mean, you're going to be so grateful that you did that beyond grateful, like it needs to happen. And if you keep delaying, I don't know, it depends where you're at in your journey. But for me and where we were at, I knew that this needed to happen. And even now, like,

And looking at our year calendar, for me, everything's temporary because I'm like, if I need to go in for an embryo transfer, if I need to be home for appointments, if I need to be doing medication, I'm not going anywhere. Everything's penciled in. Everything's penciled in. Like I have some really fun girls trips planned. We're going to Colorado in the summer. Like we do have some fun things going, but in my head, I'm like, if something's going on with me or our future baby, like I will not be going anywhere. So, yeah.

I think it's just like a priority shift for sure. It's also been really nice because Mari's like been publicly, I don't know if everyone has this luxury, but Mari's been very open, needless to say. You know, in terms of career and or family commitments, we've just been like, no, we're doing IVF right now. And everyone just immediately understands. It is like the best excuse. It's been a great excuse. Oh, oh, oh.

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And I think what people don't, first of all, me sharing it and posting on TikTok and like sharing the injections every night and every morning and the appointments every day and just how like rigorous and intense that the process is and the egg retrieval and the recovery, I

I've had a lot of people say to me, I had no idea how intense it was. And thank you for posting about it because now I know what my friend's going through. If you know someone going through it, like a lot of people don't understand what it actually entails. And just because it may or may not be common does not mean it's not intense. Yes, for sure. And then I think the other piece that people don't realize is the mental burden.

I think has been the most significant. Like number one, you are a full blown science experiment. Like my hormones have been getting effed with for the past three months at this point.

Like you're given a ton of hormones and then they're taken away and then you get them back and then they take them away again because you're on birth control and they're trying to regulate your cycle and then all this stuff's happening, right? And I'm about to start injections again for the embryo transfer. So number one, your hormones are messed up. And then number two, you're just waiting phone call to phone call about your freaking birth.

future. Like these are, these phone calls are life or death. Like that's how it feels. You're constantly for context. You're constantly waiting for feedback on your blood work and the, you know, that day's results. You're constantly waiting for feedback on the success of the egg retrieval. And there's, you know, every couple of days there's a new up,

And so let's say you start with whatever number of eggs, you're quite literally like watching them diminish each day, which is part of the process as they go through different barriers of, you know, health markers, we'll call them. And so you're just like,

hoping that at the end of this, there's some left. Yeah. It's crazy. You're just praying that you have an embryo. Like it's crazy. It's not automatic. Absolutely not. Like there are so many people who go through IVF and get nothing from it. And to go through all of that and get nothing, like I can't even imagine the heartbreak. Also it's super expensive. Super expensive, but like the heartbreak. So even if your friend or your partner is done with IVF,

They're still waiting. So like my mental state the past few months has been really different. And I feel like I've had a new level of... I haven't been sleeping well. I feel like I'm not really present in my work as much as I used to be. Like I'm just...

I don't have much of an emotional capacity. I was explaining this to you last night. Like, I feel like I don't have much to give to other people right now because I feel so stretched thin. I mean, I feel guilty about it, but I don't know if I've been the best person

Like I try to show up for people in my life the best way that I can, but I forget to call people or you know what I'm saying? Like I'm not the best version of me right now because I'm just holding on by a thread kind of. Oh, also the calls come out of nowhere. Like this last call that you just got that was the biggest one came out of nowhere. I've basically been holding on by a thread and you guys know I've like started going to church and just like doing whatever I can to feel like, okay. It's probably one of the hardest things I've ever been through, honestly, from like a

mental capacity standpoint. So if you're listening and I have hurt your feelings over the past couple months, I'm super sorry about that. I don't think that anyone feels that way. No, I don't think so either. You've been doing great. So I was in Dallas with Myron Crosby, which is a cowboy boot brand. I was there for the rodeo. It was so fun. And my best friend Taylor and I were shopping at a vintage store and I was not expecting a call. I mean, it must've been what a Saturday? It was a Saturday. Yeah.

And I don't have my appointment for another few days. No, it was Friday because I was at work when you called me. It was Friday. Okay. I was not expecting to find out until later this week. And I'm shopping around and I look at my phone and I missed a call from a 512. And I have their phone number memorized at this point, the fertility clinic. And I see a missed voicemail and it said...

You know how it tells you what the voicemail said? It like messed up the word genetic testing and it put like automobile testing. But I knew I was like, I literally said, Taylor, I have to go. And she kept shopping and I ran out. And I'm like crouched down in the parking lot and I call them back. And it's my girl, Caitlin, who always answers the phone. It's so funny the tone they use. Wait, the voicemail said you had the results? Yes. Oh my gosh. I know. My heart fell.

Normally they just say like, Hey, call us when you have a chance. And I was like, Caitlin. And she was like,

We have the results of your genetic test. Do you have time to go over them? And I'm like, she sounds worried. Like, she sounds concerned. Like, what do you mean I have time to go over them? Like, yes. As if it's like a long story. I was like, yes. Then she was like, I'm very excited to tell you the good news. And then she told us the good news. We have our final embryo count after genetic testing. The nurses know that I don't want to know the gender that's being inserted. And I told them that from the beginning. I don't want to know the gender. And they said, okay, good.

The question you're going to ask is, are both genders represented? Because then you'll know whether you have all of the same gender or different. Because there's more than one embryo, needless to say. Share the number of embryos because I feel like that's when people get upset and they compare, but we have more than one. And she goes, you don't want to know the gender, right? And I was like, no, I don't. But can you tell me, are both genders represented? And she goes, yes, they are.

And I just kept going, oh, wow, oh, wow, oh, wow, oh, wow, oh, wow. Freaking out because I don't know why mentally in my head, I thought we would have all girls. Our emperors would all be girls. Like I always assumed that because I don't know why I just envisioned myself as a girl mom. I always have, but I would be so happy either way. Genuinely, if I was going to have a boy, I'd be so happy. Like I feel this, I feel equally happy with both, but I've just always thought that I would be a girl mom.

And Greg would be a girl dad. But when she said both were in there, I was like, oh my God. Okay. This is crazy. So then obviously I immediately called Greg. So that was exciting. And I feel like we're not all the way there yet, but I feel like way more relaxed than I did before. Definitely the biggest milestone yet. Yeah, for sure. Greg, how has your experience been through IVF as the guy? It's definitely just...

Had a major change to the dynamic of our day-to-day. You know, both needing to be home to do the shots. I've been giving Mari the shots on a daily basis when we were going through that protocol. The procedure was far more invasive than we slash I expected. You know, obviously, as men in this part of the journey, our job is quite simple. But so it's been very much trying to be home more regularly.

being far more communicative throughout the day, trying to create a relaxing home to be at all the time. No rap music, blasting. No rap music, no action movies, warm food, you know, like constantly baking and cooking for Mari. Bringing me my Stanley cup. I think little things like making dinner, filling up my hydro flask. If I ask you to like little things like putting Arnold away for me or like,

Just like offering help, I feel like, as much as possible. And emotional support and just letting me like cry sometimes or being okay with the hormonal fluctuations. Yeah, it's one of those things where someone gets upset and you're like trying to give somebody a solution. Like there's not really a solution that you can like tell somebody if they're having a tough moment in a journey like this. Don't even try. So I can't like sit down and immediately start trying to help her problem solve.

Which normally isn't a good solution anyway. But so just truly comfort all the time. I saw someone ask if we have been like gotten in any fights during the fertility journey. And like, yeah, there's been some like really hard stuff going on. Well, nothing's as important as supporting each other through this. But obviously you still have life happening.

happening. Like I actually feel like we were closer than ever during the fertility journey and like really became a team especially during the injections and stuff but then like complicated things happen like both of our emotions are so high around fertility and this topic and things kind of come up that we've never encountered before. It's weird like we're at an age where like

people around us are like also trying and you know it's just like tensions are high and emotions are high and both of us are in this period of life where we're like so close to getting what we've wanted for so long things just hit harder so like yes like disagreements are gonna happen like you're gonna have to have discussions about things you've never encountered before and like

I think the male-female dynamic is confusing. Like Greg said, there's not so much that they can do. They show up for one day. And I think as the woman, it's really hard to not feel resentment. I just want to be super honest and upfront about that. You're just kind of like, what the heck? I just did all this and he's chilling. And it's hard to not be resentful. But at the same time, that's obviously not Greg's fault. And

I think learning together and learning to communicate what you need is really important. And just being like, hey, I really just need a hug. Like, I just want to cry right now. You know, that type of thing. Or I need to be distracted. Like, that was a big thing for me. I was like, I cannot just sit at home. Yeah, I thought Mario was just going to want to sit at home. No, like, I couldn't just wait for this phone call. Seriously. Like, I was like, get me out of this house. Yeah, we had to keep her busy. Oh, my God.

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This is such a funny question. How to deal with insecurities in marriage, i.e. being the same height as my husband? It's really awkward.

What? I'm the same high as you. I don't know anything else. It doesn't bother me because I feel like you're so like wide. I don't know. I don't think about it. I've never thought about it. I don't know anything else. I don't wear heels really. But yeah, I guess if I had to choose, Mari would not wear more than an inch and a half. If I had to choose, you would wear heels. How do you feel about being a dad? I think it will purely bring joy.

to my life. You know, I'm used, I'm used to, I think who knows what it's going to be like, but I think I'm used to having a decent amount of responsibility. I don't think that my actual lifestyle will change that much. Famous loss words, mostly joy. That's what I think. I got fucking 70 employees. I got a dog that basically has rabies, you know,

You're talking about Arnold? Yeah. How do we find moments together while being so busy? I mean, I don't know. It's kind of lame, but I don't think it's lame. We'll put it in the calendar. So next Saturday, we have a lunch date in the calendar. And again, I keep using this term for some reason, but it's penciled in. But it says lunch date. Maybe it means go to a coffee shop. Maybe it means go on a walk. But-

You know, we always say like, hey, I'm home next Saturday. You're home next Saturday. Let's make sure we spend the afternoon together because you have a dinner date or you have a dinner thing. We like live by the Google calendar for sure. It's been great. I think, you know, my flight home from LA on Friday is in Mari's calendar. And then she'll know that I'm home that night. And, you know, we just know we'll probably have dinner together or like whatever it is. But we're not nearly as busy as we used to be. I feel like you're busier than you used to be. You travel way more than you used to.

Greg's traveling like every other week for like months. Yeah, it's January. I've been on like 10 flights. Could not be me. Greg travels so much that we have to like be intentional about dinner dates, um...

When we're both home, we have dinner together every night, coffee in the morning sometimes lately. I've tried to make my trips as short and efficient as possible. Yeah. You know, even if that means like a very early flight. I try to spend as many nights home as possible. And we always end the night together. We always go to bed together. And more nights than not, we eat dinner together. We're actually –

I would imagine we spend more time together or a normal amount of time together in the grand scheme of things. Also, we're quite different people. Like, Greg could be at home alone for, like, an entire weekend and be super fine with that. And I, like, will lose my mind. Like, I need...

activities. I need to socialize. I want to go out. I've been on social media more than normal lately. I think that's because like the drink launch, I've just been like a little obsessed with checking Instagram. Yeah, you're like a little influencer lately. I get like, you know, like reels and clips of other guys who like to do nothing. Like the algorithm has realized that I like to do nothing. And because the reality is, it's like, it's really nice to just sit on, like enjoy my home and just

be in quiet. Like it's constant chaos. Generally, it feels like. So I'm on an algorithm of other guys, married guys, it seems, who like to do nothing. And who like. What do you guys post about? They just like talk about how like, like how their significant other like wants to do things. Yeah.

I find it to be really annoying. Yeah. I do. And I'm like, please, can we go to this bakery? Please. That's not true. I love doing that type of shit. Greg won't come to church with me. Yeah. You know, my dad didn't go to church with us growing up either. That's so interesting. Yeah. That's just not my thing. A lot of people have asked if you're like...

into it with me like praying and stuff. I'm so supportive of you going. But no, it's not my thing. That's okay. That's okay. What do you do when you need your own space alone, but you live together? Well, we have separate bathrooms pretty much. I don't think they're referring to like when you want to shit. No, they're definitely not referring to that. So other than having more than one bathroom in our house, ballin'.

Greg, a lot of people do that. Sure. I guess we just go to separate rooms. You always tell me when you want to be alone. Yeah, but then we just go to separate rooms. This is such a man's answer, seriously. I never need alone time, so I don't know how to answer that truthfully. I would want you to do everything with me, really. Same. No, Greg, it's so obvious when he wants to be alone. He's like, okay.

Like you'll kind of do a face and I'm like, all right, I'm out. Like I think because also Greg grew up like you have an older sister, but you guys were so far apart in age that you basically were alone a lot. Yeah, I was. I can't relate to that. Like me and my sister were inseparable growing up and I had like a little bestie with me all the time. So like if you were just with me all the time, I'd be super chill with that. Yeah, my parents were gone on weekends a lot. Like I had a lot of alone time growing

Yeah, like I hate that so much. Yeah. Like I want you to do everything with me. Hardest part of life you've been through together? Gosh, we've been through a lot of hard things. Early years of our relationship. Really? By far. Really? That's your answer? Complete turmoil. Which part? Like very early years. When I was like not okay. Yeah, without a doubt. I mean nothing compares to that. When you had like

full-blown bpd and like all of that it was and not that not that you were the only one bringing uncomfort discomfort to the relationship by any means yeah you weren't great either no i sucked we both kind of sucked no i mean oh my gosh when i think of like greg before 25 years old i was thinking about this the other day like i feel like 30 i'm 29 but i feel like

So 28 to like 35 is probably the most lethal years for somebody who's into their career. If I just think of who I was three years ago, let alone even dare I say two years ago or 18 months ago, my lack of wisdom to what I feel like I have now, but I still kind of don't have anything to lose. You know what I mean? Like, so someone at our age,

has so much life experience post-college into their adult life or post, you know, whatever education they had into their adult life. Plus kind of having nothing to lose. They have kids, they're young. That's just how I feel. I feel like I, I have the most knowledge that I've ever had, but I still kind of have nothing to lose in terms of, uh, I can still take some big swings, some risky swings. Got it. I mean, I eat energy drink on the table. I guess the early days of our relationship were probably the hardest for me as well.

But they feel so far away and I like black them out at this point. I feel like that's one way to get through it. Just associate some try therapy. They were really bad. I mean, I think I can't even fully grasp how bad they were truthfully. Yeah. My mental health was so bad. I was in so much pain. If we're talking like adulthood, like real life.

hardship I think um we've had different types of stress like we've had starting our business together which honestly I look back on it fondly like I feel like it's like really cute to think about us trying to figure it out together and like just doing such a makeshift job obviously like some of our business struggles and to be fair like I think we've been so lucky and like

really just had a great experience with business but we've had some moments that were super duper stressful and like those were really hard i feel like yeah end of 2023 but i yeah that was bad i've never seen you that stressed before but for me i would think i think it's the fertility journey just from my perception just not like that it's been hard on our relationship i just think take going through it together yeah i don't know i think it's one of those things where like

Whatever you're going through right now probably feels like the hardest thing you've ever been through. Yeah. Not to in any way discredit the journey that we slash you are on. I think that.

I kind of hope that in three years we look back at it and we're like, that was a really cool experience or that brought us closer or that was, you know, so worth it because it makes it so much sweeter or like whatever it is. Well, that's the thing. Like every hard thing we've been through, like my fitness journey, like changing my life, our business, like hardships in business together, they've always worked out better than we could have imagined. And I know that will happen here. Yeah. Or at least, you know, a weird, weird direction that you didn't expect. I mean, if we didn't go through the hardship at the end of 2023, we probably would have never moved to Austin.

Mm-hmm. Totally. So I think we have that foresight of being like, this will work out, you know? Or like COVID made us move to LA. Yeah. And we were like, what the fuck? COVID made our business what it is. Yeah. I think it helped. I think we're just really good at responding to like extreme... Stress.

Maybe, but extreme like culturally relevant disruption that's going on, right? Oh, I think it's stress and pain. So we're like very good at pivoting everything that's currently going on to respond to how what's happening culturally. Yeah. And so, you know, for example, with TikTok, I deleted like there was a side of me, although I'm so pro TikTok, I'm so pro entrepreneurship and like the creator community. I was like, if it does go away.

we will be the best at responding, right? And like how to pivot our business accordingly. Well, I think that's a good place to end. I feel like we discussed a lot of good topics. I hope you guys really enjoyed it. Greg, thank you so much for coming on. Yeah, I guess the last thing that I would say for like a male, sorry, a significant other to the person going through IVF, you know, obviously your entire life can't go on hold.

If your main responsibility in the household is, for example, mine, that's the only one that I could speak on, where career is one of the top priorities of my life for our household, you need to become a Jedi master flipping the switch. When I'm in this office, in fact, it's hard for me to even go on this podcast. We're in a headquarters right now. And you are a full savage killer, taking no mercy for anything that you're going through as an entrepreneur.

And then you need to come home and comfort your wife. Or in the middle of the day, throughout the day, receive phone calls, rush home, whatever it may be to comfort your significant other. You need to become a complete master at flipping that switch. Otherwise, you will crumble. Period. Thank you, Greg. Love you so much. Bye. Love you. Bye.

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