Bobbi vs. Bobby
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Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small one.

Well, whether it's in everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience.

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- I think this is gonna be a disaster, man. I mean, that was not good. - This is not good. Morgan, are you ready? How do you hold it? I'm just gonna copy you. - Just copy me. - Hey everyone, I am so sorry to interrupt, but I need to do a quick ad for SeatGeek. You guys know I love SeatGeek, SeatGeek loves me, and you guys seem to love SeatGeek too, because you guys are using my code a lot. Capital B, capital O, capital B, capital B, capital I.

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The tickets for $100. If you got tickets that are $25, then that means they're going to be $5. That's really good. Are we done with that now? Oh my god, Morgan, be careful. I'm going to definitely hit you. You're going to have to protect the glasses, I think, man. She's going to break a glass, dude. A window. Oh no. Yeah, yeah. OK. How do you hit it? No, just let it bounce first. Oh, like down? No, in the sky! Across the ground! I don't know.

Okay, that was good. It made it over. Bobby. Yes? Okay, I just want to let you know. Yeah. See this line? Uh-huh. If it goes here, it's out. Okay. Come here.

Do you understand what I'm saying? No. Your mic is tossed in. It's all right. No, it's not. Why? Because he can't hear. Morgan? Can you hear me? Can you hear him in the mic? Yeah, you can hear me. Not when it tucks in. No, you absolutely can. Yeah, what do you think? They can't go in her shirt? Yeah, I don't know. Just get focused. Okay. So see that line, those lines? It can't go past that line. Okay. It's got to go over here.

Are you guys recording? I want to get it. Are you going, Morgan? Are we ready? Where's your camera? Pick it up. Pick it up, Morgan. So it's got to go over the net. Okay. See that line? That outer line, the inner line? It's got to stay within that. And that back line, it can't go over that back line. Okay. At least you hit it. That's good. Thank you. You hit it. Okay. Come here. Come here. You don't throw it. You called me over here for that?

We're just starting now, okay? The really good podcast is going through rebranding. Ready? Yeah, I'm ready. Okay. We're starting now. Oh shit! That was in! Holy shit, that was in. That was incredible. Give me another ball. You're talking to me. There's a ball there. Why can't you get it? My turn? What? I think you need to get it. We're out of balls. Do you think you want to take a break or? Right now? Yeah. No, keep going. Okay. It's really good. You ready, Bobby? I'm ready. Okay. Bobby.

Do you know we have the same name? Sorry, sorry, my bad, my bad. Okay. Do you know we have the same name? Yeah. It's kind of cool. Spell differently though. Yeah, this is the better way to spell it. Excuse me? This is the better way to spell it? Is my way better than your way? No, mine is. Yeah, I guess, but it's like, you know, it's pronounced the same. It's true. What's your last name? Althoff. Ass-off? Yeah. What's your last name? That didn't work. Honestly, we...

It's just something else, man. This is not working. I mean, she doesn't even know what's going on. What are you saying? Nothing. Okay. Okay. Now we can start now. Okay. You can start now. Bobby. Bobby. Yeah. Are you trying? Yes. Okay. How do you hit it? Can you teach me? No. Come here. You... Okay. Maybe we should take a break? No.

Yeah, but it's not working. What do you mean? You haven't taught me well yet. Oh, I'm supposed to teach you? Yes. You go, this is what you said. Yeah. You fucking said, let's go hiking. I go, I don't fucking walk. Yeah, well, I know how to hike. You don't. Right, but then you go, let's do tennis. Yeah. Assuming, because you suggested it, that you know how to fucking play tennis. I don't. But when you said yes, I gave you a list of options. You said yes to tennis. You gave me two options, fucking hiking or tennis.

Oh, no, you said something else. Yeah, I did. What was it? Bowling or something? Bowling, yeah. Well, I figured you knew how to play tennis, and you do. You said you were on the team. Why? You said you were on a tennis team. You think Asians play tennis? That's not what I said that for. I think that's what you said. Well, you do play tennis. What'd you say? You play tennis. So teach me. Okay, well, you swing it like this. Okay. Keep your eye on the ball. Okay. Okay? Because when the ball comes to you, you close your fucking eyes. Who does that? I don't close them. It's going to hit me. Okay. Okay.

- Stand over here. - Ready? - I'm ready. - Sorry. I have John McEnroe rage. - Who? - John McEnroe. You don't know who John McEnroe is? - Tennis player? - Yeah. - No. - Name me four tennis players in the history of tennis. - Name them? - Yeah. - Serena Williams. - Good. - Venus Williams. - Okay, fuck. - That's all I've got. - Okay. Have you heard of Martina Navratilova? - Did it just make that up? - No. - No. - It sounds like it made it up, right? - Yeah. - How about Bjorn Borg? - No. - Okay.

You gotta let it bounce. - Okay. - Go ahead. - Do you wanna buy this house? - I don't have $9 million. - It's 19 million, do you have that much? - No. - That's pretty good. - Yeah. - It wasn't even close, it's like the ball went through the racket like she has a ghost racket or something, that was insane. - What'd you say? - Nothing. - Okay. Do you live in a house? - Wait, we should just-- - Do you rent? - What? - Do you rent your house or do you own it?

I'm successful. I own my house. You do? Yeah. Do you rent? Of course. You do? Yeah. What era? You live in LA? Yeah. I've never met you before. I know. That's why I'm asking you questions. Okay. I live in LA. What else? I bought my own house. What else? Well, I just, that's impressive. Thank you. How old are you? Guess. 40, 5, 45, 70? 86. I look great. He's not 86. Do you remember the Karate Kid movies? That's you? Yep.

You're Jackie Chan? Come here. Come here. Come here. Yeah? Get closer. Was that a joke? Let's play. Okay. But do you know the difference between Jackie Chan and Pat Morita? Who's Pat Morita? Mr. Miyagi. It's Jackie Chan. What? Mr. Miyagi is Jackie Chan. What are you talking about? What movie? Oh, it's like a Karate Kid. It's fine. Let's move on. Jaden Smith? Karate Kid? Did you... Wait. Oh, you're right. Okay. You're right. Actually, you're right. Come here.

Come here. I apologize. Okay. I forgot you were younger. They remade a Karate Kid and Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan was... Jackie Chan played Mr. Miyagi. Were you trying to accuse me of being racist? At first I thought, but you weren't. Thank you. So I apologize. It's rude to assume that. My bad. You're just old. That's the ball. Did you ever see the original Karate Kid? No. Are you married?

No, why? Just asking, it was a question. I'm an old Korean fat man. It's hard. Have you dated anyone? In my fucking life? Yeah. In my fucking life. Yes, I've dated girls in my life. Okay, you said you're an old Korean fat man. I was just wondering if you've ever dated anyone. Yeah, I wasn't always an old Korean fat man. Were you a young? Fat man? Yeah. Yeah. I was a young Korean fat man at one point.

It's easier to date as a young Korean pop man? Excuse me? Is it easier to date as a young Korean pop man? Yeah, it is. Okay, well... But I have fans. I'm fine. You have fans? How are you famous? How'd you get famous? Just come here, come here. I don't know what you're doing, but um... How'd you get famous? I know, can I just... How did I get famous or why are you famous? How? Well, are you famous? No. Me either then. You are. You have more followers than me on Instagram. Well, that's because I'm a girl.

Oh really? You don't do "ooh look at my body" No, you're like comedy right? Yeah. Yeah. So that's how you're getting your fans, through your comedy. So you're more famous, in your face. You're more famous. You're way more famous than me in your face. You have a house and I don't have a house. Yeah but you have a husband! But I don't have a house. And kids! You have a life! I got nothing. You can have kids. It doesn't work anymore! Sorry. Nothing comes out. Sorry to hear that. Except rice milk. It's gross.

Rice milk comes out of my pee-pee. Thank you for that. You're welcome. It's disgusting. Can we just play tennis? Have you ever had rice milk? I don't want to talk about that. Okay. It's disgusting. I was just asking if you had it. After you said the previous thing you said. It was a joke! Rice milk doesn't come out of my pee-pee. That's crazy. Calm does. It's disgusting. See, I can't even fucking... And you suck at tennis. What? And you suck at tennis. Already? Do you have a car? Yeah, I do. What kind? An Audi. An Audi.

It's pretty fancy. Yeah, what do you have? BMW. A PFW? A BMW. Never heard of it. PFW. That was pretty good. No, it wasn't. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small one.

Well, whether it's in everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience.

and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which

which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Did you go to college? What? Did you go to college? No. Why? Because I have...

i have learning disabilities i think which kind you think yeah i just don't like it you know doesn't mean you're disabled i know but let me see can i ask you i'm going to say something okay yeah that um you know all my life i struggled with drugs and alcohol and affected my school you know and i think if i had to do it over again i'm sober now i'd be able to go to maybe

You know, like a UC school maybe. I don't know. Did you go to college? I'm going back. Why? Because I want to finish my degree. On what? I went to community college and I got a degree in political science. I'm going to go back. Oh, so you know about politics? Not really. That's why I'm going back. So you went to political science. Name me, how about this? Name me four Republican senators. Sorry, I don't know any. No, you think. I really don't know anyone. You don't know one Republican senator? No. No.

Okay, name me. Who's the vice president? Right now? Yeah. Kamala Harris. Good. That's good. Wow. Can you come closer when you do it? Okay. I think we should stand at this line. You'd rather do like this? Yeah. Like we're little people, huh? Well, we kind of are. Yeah, but we're not legally little people. We are physically little people. I know. How tall are you? 5'7"? 5'4". I'm taller than you? Yeah. Yeah, little people. We stand here. Okay.

This is gonna get a lot easier. Good job. Just one time. Can you please one time get it between these two lines? Just one fucking time, please. I'll try. Okay. I'm trying. Okay. My best. You know how to swim? Yeah. Okay. Do you want to go swimming? No, I don't. You want to go swimming now? I don't know. I bet they have a pool. Do they? They do. You can go swimming. I didn't bring a bathing suit. Oy. It's really... I made it between the lines that time. They have a bowling alley.

Hey, Bobbi. Mm-hmm? Do you remember when you... Do you remember when you flaked on me? Yeah, I do. She flaked on me, dude! Yeah. She goes, "I'm gonna be over here at 4:30." This is months ago. 20 minutes before, she's like, "Mm, I'm not coming now." It's 'cause somebody else got scheduled and I couldn't control it. Someone more important? Tyga. Who? Tyga. Tyga who? Tyga. Tyga. Woods? No. Oh. You know who Tyga is. Don't be silly. Uh-uh. Yes, you do. No, I don't.

Listen, we're two different generations. You don't know who Pat Murray does. I don't know who Tyga Woods is. I'm not talking about Tyga Woods. Who are you talking about? The rapper, Tyga. Great album. Good stuff. You know him. I know. Yeah. He took your slot. So are you saying that I got bumped? Yeah. For a bigger name? Yeah. Can I say something to you? Yeah. Come closer. I'm going to stay right here this time. Okay, good. I'll go over here. Yeah. I think we should take a break. I don't think so. Okay.

- We can take a break as soon as I hit it. - Okay. - I might get a point. - Go ahead. - How do you get a point? - Well, you have to serve. You wanna serve? So give me the ball. Good. - Okay. - So serving is, I'm gonna be on this side. - Okay. - Right? And see that box right there? That little box to the, not at the house. On the fucking thing. - That one. - Yeah, that little box there, not at the house. - Not little. - And I do this, like this. - Okay. - And then it's supposed to go there. God damn it, it's supposed to go there, but.

but you know that's how you do it right it's because you're not doing it from the little people spot oh i'll do the little people yeah ready okay over there go over there i can't even get it over the thing man it's gonna take a while 15 zero now you do it here okay you do it over like this hit it my god we're playing tennis now no almost all right it's break time

- Break time. - Okay, do you want a drink? - Yeah, let's have a drink. Let's talk over here. - Okay. - Okay. - You stay on your side. - Why? - I don't know, do you want blue or pink? - I want the pink one. - Catch. - Sit down. - Sit down over there. - You're so controlling. - It's my interview. - Okay, you're right. - Thank you. It's really good. - What is that one? - This one is an energy drink 'cause I'm tired. I started a new antidepressant. - Yeah. - It makes me tired. - What's it called? - Zoloft.

I'm on Ritalin. That's not an antidepressant. It's a pill. It makes you like hyper. No, it does the opposite effect with me because I have ADHD. So I get like really zoned out and mellow. I can actually sleep with that when I'm on Ritalin. That's amazing. Yeah. I'm just on this. I should go on that. Yeah. So it can get me hyper. I like your nails. Thank you. Did you paint them yourself? No, I go to a spot. And you just ask them for black nail polish? Yeah, I change it up sometimes. What other colors have you done? Pink, white, other ones.

Like what? Glitter. Okay. You like glitter? You don't get gel? No, these are gelled, yeah. Because I have these weird Asian Mongolian kind of hands. Don't call them weird. I didn't say they were weird. I said they were... You did. You said they were. I have these weird... Not weird. Okay, sorry. Yeah. I have these... As you get older, things fall apart. Okay, and your hands fall apart? Yeah, like fingernails fall off. You know what I mean? And it looks weird. And I'm single and I'm dating...

so i'm like i cover them up with with nail polish what do you mean what's under there you say they fell off so is it like skin you painted your skin what do you mean you said your nails fell off yeah because this one i slammed in the door 20 years ago and then it just keeps falling off that's unfortunate yeah and then check this out look oh my god they're beautiful but look i see them yeah yeah what do you think

I think you need to get them redone. Yeah, it's been a while. It's been too long. But there's like a fly coming through. I know, I know. Put those socks back on. I will. I will. Don't take them off again. Why did you ask me to be here? So I can interview you. When does that start? Now. Okay. Hi guys. Thank you so much for coming to my podcast today. We're doing a bit of rebranding if you couldn't tell. Today I'm interviewing another Bobby. I blew him off a few weeks ago.

Month probably now four months. Sorry about that. Okay, um and and I am now interviewing you again You you did an interview with Rick Rick cool last man. Yeah, I've done a mini. He's a good friend of mine Yeah, did you like his yeah, uh-huh. I watch it. You don't want your own videos. No You're very successful. Yeah, you're killing it people. You know, I'll tell you this in the podcast community. We talk about you. I

Funny, I almost quit my podcast. What? I almost quit my podcast. Why? Last week. What happened? I just decided I was bored of it and I didn't want to do it anymore. Yeah. But then I talked to my team and they said that I couldn't quit. You can't quit. I'm rebranding. Listen. I'm listening. What do you think happened? Car accident. I think a, uh, I think somebody exploded. Somebody? Yeah. I don't think so. Okay. It's just a car accident. Everybody's okay.

Do you know who used to live in this house? Yeah. How do you know? Because I did my own research. Who lived in it? The hairy man. Huh? The hairy man. What's that? From the Wizard of Oz. The old man? The lion? Yeah, the lion. Yeah. And who else? The little flying monkey. Why would both of them live in it? It's a big house. Maybe the flying monkey lived up there. No, Paul McCartney.

Paul who? McCartney. I don't know who is it. You know who that is. No, who's Paul McCartney? He's an actor? I don't know who it is. I just know his name. He's like a singer, I think. He's a singer? Do you really not know who Paul McCartney is? I think he's a singer. He's in a band. What's the band called? The... I know this. I know you do. I don't know. What band is it? The Beatles. I was gonna say that. No, you didn't. I wasn't gonna say that, but I did know that it was like a very big band. You don't know, you don't like the Beatles?

I don't listen to them. You've never listened to a Beatles album? I have listened to their songs. I don't like regularly turn on the Beatles. Dude. That's exactly right. I knew it, see? Here comes the... Sun. Right, so you know you can finish them. Yeah. Yeah. Baby got... Back. Yeah. I don't think that's Beatles. It's not. But you're good. At finishing those songs, thank you. What? Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah. What are you good at? Who let the... Dogs out. Yep. What do I listen to? Yeah.

I'm a big music guy, so I, you know, in terms of the Beatles, I probably like, I think White Album, Abbey Road, Revolver, Rubber Soul, Sgt. Pepper's, they're all my great albums. You should get into them. And then I go into, I like Rolling Stones, I like the Exile on Main Street, Let It Bleed, you know. And then I also like Bob Dylan a lot, yeah. What do you do for fun? Play tennis? Are you having fun? Right now? Yeah.

Not really. What would make this more fun? I don't have the slightest idea. It's kind of rude. No, I'm saying that's not you. I'm not accusing your skill set. Okay. I just don't have, I was being honest, and I don't have the slightest idea what the fuck to do right now. You know? I do, you know, I think you're very talented. I do. Why? I'm not. I know. I think... I'm not talented. No, you are. I'm not.

Well, you're... you've got something going. Yeah, it's just luck. Lucky. But here's the thing, Bobby. Yeah. We're all fucking lucky. Yeah. You know? Here's the thing that you did. You did it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, you turned on the thing. You started talking. Uh-huh. Yeah. Are you depressed right now? Always. Yeah. Can I say something about your legs? Yeah. They're nice.

Not in a sexual, I didn't say that in a sexual way. - There's no good way to say that. - I know, but I like your little blue veins. - Okay, thank you. - You like your little blue veins. I like seeing it. You know what that means? - What does that mean? - You're alive. What's up, dude? Give me a pound. - What is that sound? - Right now, you know what time is it right now? This is where owls, this is when they mate.

I think you just made that up. No, at 3 p.m. they do. Every... I don't think it's 3 p.m. Close to 3 p.m. every Wednesday, Owls Mate. You just made that up. No, I didn't. In Beverly Hills. Yes, you did. Shut up. I'm a zoologist. No, you're not. You didn't go to college. I know. I don't know what the sound was. What do you think it is? The wind howling. Okay, good. It wasn't. What do you mean? Wind doesn't do this. When it does it again, you're going to see that it's the wind howling. Why do you think that's an expression? Or the wind howls?

That's howling. That's an expression? Yeah, I don't know. The wind is howling? Yeah. Oh, that is a good one. Yeah, people say that. I've read it in books. What about this one? What do you think they're talking about? What about this one? I can't walk and chew something something at the same time. What is it? Beef? Gum. That's right. Why did you ask that? Because when I was driving here, I was scared. I was scared, so I was going to say, I was going to open up with, I can't walk and chew beef at the same time, thinking it was beef.

I'm happy you didn't say that. I know. That's why I asked. How old are you? 52. Are you really? Yeah. I don't believe you. Google it. How long have you been famous for? I haven't, I'm not. How long have you been making money from your career? I think, um, in the year 1998? I was one. I know you were one. And I did it for you, bud. For this moment? Yeah, for this moment, bud. What are you calling me? Just to meet you.

Bud? What did you think I said? Bud, but I just thought that was weird. Yeah, yeah. Why? Do you think Bud is rude? No, I've just never been called Bud. Oh. You know what? I'm going to call you Chachi. Is that better? What? If I call you Chachi? That's not better. It's not worse. It's true. Yeah. So, Chachi, you know who Chachi is? No. You ever see Happy Days? No. Okay. You heard of it? No. You never heard of Happy Days, the TV show? Is that the one that they, like, that Joey...

Works on the set of and friends know what is that of days of our life? Yeah, that's it. Yeah, what it was but I Thought it was called happy days. Okay, I feel like I'm getting a tan right now. You don't like it. I love it Yeah, yeah, you're really white, huh? It appears that way Yeah, yeah. What am I you think you're also wait? Oh

No, what am I? Ethnic. You just said you were Korean. Oh, you know. You told me that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I listen. I know you do. It's my job. Yeah. As an interviewer. What's your podcast named? I have one called Tiger Belly. Why? Wind howling. Why is it called that? Because I have a friend named Charlie Finn. And all my life, I used to call him Tiger Belly, just as a nickname. And whenever I would call Charlie that, we would laugh. We just don't know if that was a funny name.

So I just named my first podcast child tiger villain. I have another one called bad friends with my friend Andrew Santino. It's cool Are you guys bad friends? No, we're actually very good friends. We're very we love each other so much supposed to be a joke Is it supposed to be funny? Well, that's what's be funny. I Didn't really think about it. Really? I mean we we struggled finding a name for it and then somebody did a theme song for our for our podcast and

without even naming it. And in it, some girl goes, "They're bad friends." And then I go, "That's it. Bad friends." So check it out. You know what you should do is you should meditate on it. - Do you meditate? - Yeah. You should... You wanna meditate now? - Okay. - Can you sit like this? Yeah, yeah. Put your hands like this. - Okay. - You've never meditated before? - No. - Okay, close your eyes. And focus on your breathing. You're not closing your eyes. Okay. So focus on your breathing. Breathe in.

You breathe out? Like, can you do it like vocally so I can hear it? No. And then in your mind, you think of nothing. How do you do that? So when thoughts come to your mind, you pop it like a bubble. What did you want to be when you grew up? When you were a kid? I didn't know until I was 23. And then what did you want to be? Well, it wasn't that I wanted to be it. What are you looking at? I heard a bee. And then I heard someone breaking glass. Ooh, look at the birds. Okay, answer my question.

So when I was 23 years old, I was desperate. Yeah, I can see that. What do you mean? I don't know what you mean. What? What do you mean? Do I look like a desperate person? A little bit. Okay, all right. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. That's rude. Continue your story. I will. I will. I'll continue. And so I, um, I just, you know, I love her, but I don't. You know what I mean? Like, I love you, but I don't, you know? I don't love you at all.

- You like me though? - No. - At all? - Not really. - But do you think you could get to know me and then love me? - Maybe. - Okay. - You're not doing a good job of that right now. - What, 'cause I said you had veiny legs? - You did say that. - Yeah. - That wasn't very nice. Stop looking at them. Stop looking at them. - It's so crazy. It's like an alien movie, you know? But anyway, when I was 23 years old, I was so desperate. I was working two jobs. I had no money. I was desperate. And I was kind of scared, quite frankly.

Because I didn't have an education and so I was walking by a comedy club. Can you continue? I can't. I'm just a little tired. You want to play tennis? No, I just want to hear your story. You were walking by a comedy club. I know, but Bobby, let me say something, okay? Yeah. When you ask a fucking question and I'm fucking answering it, you don't fucking yawn. It's rude.

I'm on depression medicine. Oh, that's okay. And it makes me tired, Bobby. Okay. I can't control it. Okay. You know, it's like you're a daughter. I'm a mom. Okay. I have two kids. I don't get a lot of sleep. And I'm on a depression pill. That makes me tired. Can I say... I'm doing my best. Can I give you a compliment? What's your compliment? You have great shoulders. My God. Okay.

can you finish your story yeah so when i was 23 years old i was walking by a comedy club with the comedy store in san diego and um they had a help wanted sign and i knocked on the door during the day and um i got a job as a bar back that's a lot you just help behind the bar washing dishes and getting drinks for the bartenders and stuff and one one night i we're never gonna hear the story

One night I saw an open mic and in my mind I'm like, "Oh, I think I can do it." And I started doing it. It happens. What did you do exactly? I told jokes on stage. Can you tell me some jokes? I don't remember. One of the jokes I said, "I'm so lonely. When I masturbate, I grab my own ass." And then I go, "Do me." And I grab my own. I turn around to the audience and I grab my own and I go, "Do me, do me, do me." Like this. And it got like this. I don't want to see that. I know.

Look! I'm not looking. Okay. You can just... Why? Because I'm a fat Korean guy? Is that why? You don't want to look at my ass? Look at me. Don't be racist. Bobby, you're being racist. Bobby, look. Bobby. Do me. I go, do me, do me, do me, do me like that. Anyway, so that was one of the jokes. I had another joke. Can I tell you another joke? Maybe. Can I do another? Okay. So this is a funny joke.

So I go, my mom's a Jehovah Witness. She just joined the Jehovah Witness, you know? Is that true? Like in high school, when I was in high school, she joined Jehovah Witness. So in high school, she would join and then she used to knock on my bedroom door. And I go, what do you want, mom? And she would go, I'm just practicing. Because, do you get it? Yeah. What? It's a good joke. What is it? Because she's practicing. I know, but why is it funny?

What do you mean? I mean, what's the joke? Why is that funny? I feel like it's obvious. Am I missing it? Yeah, I think you are. So why is it funny? Now you tell me. You don't know. That's why. I thought I did, but now you're making me feel insecure and I feel like I don't know. Practicing why? Why would you say that I'm just practicing? What do you mean? Because that's what they do. What? They knock on doors? Yeah. Okay, good. That's so obvious. Check this out. Look at me. Okay, I'm... Do me... Okay. Gotcha.

And that was one of the jokes. Gotcha? No. That wasn't a joke. I know. One of them was my catchphrase. Gotcha! Yeah, that was funny. But no, that wasn't, no, I just gotcha when I grabbed my, anyway. So that was one of the, and then let me think of another joke. Oh yeah, my dad. Oh, do you want to hear him or no? I'm listening. Okay. Okay. We didn't celebrate Christmas growing up. Why? Because they're Korean, they didn't know how. Okay. Right? Well, this is what I say on stage. And none of the audience goes, why?

So you gotta pretend you're the fucking audience. Okay, okay. Okay. You never done stand up? No. Okay. Ha ha ha. They just laugh. And you're not even funny. You don't think I'm funny? Well, it wasn't a funny joke you just told me. Which one? All of them. Try again. No, I'm not. Try again. It hurts. Try again. Okay. So I had another joke where I go, you know, we didn't even have a Christmas tree. One time I asked my dad for a Christmas tree and he goes...

Look outside. I go, okay. He goes, what do you see? I go, a bunch of trees. He goes, Merry Christmas. It's just a sweet story. It's not funny. I know that was back then. It's like sweet. It's endearing. And then my dad, okay, another one. So then my dad, my dad, he didn't even know like the Christmas songs because he didn't bother to learn them. So we'd make them up. Okay. So we'd go, Frosty, you're a good guy. That's also sweet and endearing. It's not funny. I used to beat my mom.

Okay, that's not funny. Is that better? It's not funny. You should beat my mom. It's not funny. Yeah, yeah. And a lot of trauma. That's just sad. I know, a lot of trauma. Is that what you tell the audience? I was molested by a guy with Down syndrome. There, in your face. Go ahead. Let's move on. This is what you tell your audience? No, I'm telling you. Because I tell you this right now, man. I give you three fucking jokes, no response. What else do I say? I'm just going to tell you my traumatic experiences growing up. Okay. You know what I mean? I was bullied, spit in my face.

Gook in the hole that we used to say that do you have a therapist for this? Yeah, I do. Do you talk to her? You say that gook again in the hole? I'm not gonna say that Please do you tell your therapist to say that to you? I do I go to EMDR I had a lot of trauma. I'm dealing with it. You know, it's good for you. Yeah. Yeah, you could really win a competition avoid the venious legs

You know? Like, you should call Guinness and go, like, how many veins? Yeah. Probably the same amount as yours. Yeah, but they're not exposed on the outside. You know, they're in my leg. Good for you. Do you want an award? Excuse me? Do you want an award? Yeah, I do want an award. Okay. I'll work on that. Yeah, work on it. Have you ever had lip filler?

You have? I know. I just got it for the first time. Yeah. And you know who you look like now? Who? Benedict Cumberbatch. I don't know who that is, but I feel like it was rude. It's not? Yeah, it is, obviously. It's you, Bobby. It's not what I look like. You're naturally pretty. Why would you inject shit into your fucking lips? Because I wanted lips. I didn't have any. Yeah, but you were cute before, man. Don't call me cute. I know. I just want to... Listen to me. No, fuck. Listen to me. Listen to me, okay?

Listen, okay. What I'm saying is the reason why I'm fucking here lady is because I fucking go well, I think she's talented I like what she's doing in podcasting right and People say that you're fucking cute as well and funny So what I'm saying is I just said cute and funny so go fuck yourself Okay, I came here into the fucking Beverly Hills to come, you know. Yeah. Thank you for that. Okay, geez I got extensions too

Whose hair was it? I don't know the person. Probably a dead person. Why would it be a dead person? You don't know where the hair comes from? It's ethically sourced. Oh, that's what it says on the window? Ethically sourced? That's what they say. I know. Yeah. Okay. But you still don't know where it comes from? Probably an ethical place. Yeah, it could be from a donkey's butthole. It's disgusting. What? It says it's human hair. See, you don't like donkey's buttholes or queefs.

It's human hair. Do you like my extensions? They look nice. And my fake lips. They look nice. I know. And guess what? What? You're cute. Thank you, Bobby. You're welcome. What do you think of me? How do I look? Adorable. I am, huh? Yeah. Yeah, thank you. Are you really only 5'4"? Was that the wind too? No, Bobby. Are you 5'4"?

Is it the forest queefing? Can you stop? I'm sorry. Do you think that's funny when you say things like that? What? Do people laugh? If we were sitting with an audience in front of us, would people laugh? Yeah, I have some jokes about queefs. I don't think anyone laughs because they think it's funny. They laugh because everyone's laughing. Thousands of people laugh. Yeah, thank you. Laughing is contagious. Thousands of people laugh. Yeah, so one person laughed because they were giving you a sympathy laugh and then everybody else just joined in because it's contagious. Yeah. I don't think they thought that was funny. Okay. So what's the question? I don't remember. Okay.

Your jokes aren't very funny, Bobby. I know. I know. I'm a failure. You're not. Well then, thank you. You're welcome. That's all I wanted to hear. Yeah, you're not a failure. So what the fuck? I'm 5'4". I already told you that. I know. I said, are you really 5'4"? Yes, why would I lie about that? I'm 5'4". You should be proud of that. How tall are you? 5'6". Yeah. Are you proud? Yeah. Okay, good. I'm not proud of it. I'm small. But you know what? I take what God gave me and I work with it.

God gave me this body, God gave me this face, and I'm doing the best I can with it. Well, at least you're rich. What? At least you're rich. I'm not rich. Yeah, you are. You have more money than I do. I promise you I don't. I promise you you do. I promise you I don't. I've been working for like three months. But you're gonna be. Why are you sitting like that? You don't like it? No. Why? Close your legs, Bobby. Where are you going? I'm gonna play tennis. Okay. That's what I came here for. You're gonna teach me. How old were you when you played tennis, Bobby?

In high school I was on the tennis team and then after I graduated I never played again really. Yeah? Your ball. Do you want to go by other Bobby or Bobby? What? Do you want your, do you want to go by other Bobby or Bobby? Well first of all I'm older than you right? So you're other Bobby. No, so I've been Bobby longer. So you're other Bobby, I'm original Bobby. Less people know you. What? Fewer people know you.

- So there we go. - I'm Bobby. - All right, check it out. - Yeah. - So you are more successful than me. - Right now at this moment. - Yep. - Yeah, but you've been doing this longer. We don't know how long I have left. - You have the rest of your life, sweetie. - I could be irrelevant tomorrow. I'm probably already. - You don't think that, you don't, listen. - Yeah. - You never think in your mind of those negative thoughts. They're not true. - They are true. - They're not true. - They're true. - They're not. - They're true.

I fell off. No, this is how, this is how podcasting and show business work. Yeah. You go, you can't stay up here forever. Okay. There's dips. You go back up, down, up and down. That's life. But in the downward moments, you can't go, Oh, it's going to be Titanic. No, you can't do that. Okay. You go, you know what? I believe in my ability. You know what I mean? And I have faith it's going to work out and be more fucking positive. There's a lot of people with veiny legs that succeed in life.

And I know you have these monstrous queefs you do at late at night. It scares the kids, but it's okay. You're disgusting. I know. Ready? Hey, Bobby. Yeah. Honestly. Yeah. Stay focused on the ball. I am. No, you're not. Yes, I am. Don't tell me what I'm doing and what I'm not doing. Hit it. Damn it. You go get that now. I'm not getting that. Yeah, you purpose it there. Go get that now. I'm not going to go up there. It's closer to you.

Hey, there's a little golf course. Let's play golf. Okay. Okay. Is there golf clubs? Yeah, come on. There's clubs here. Okay. Okay. So where do I start, you think? I think you should hit a ball into that one. Okay. See, that's how you defend yourself. Did you see that? What if somebody... That's how you... She has no... Are we doing... We're fucking up? You all right? She was protecting me. No, she wasn't. Yeah, she was just trying to stop you from attacking me.

Ready? You ready? Not even close. Damn it. Your turn. My turn? Yeah. That close, though? You did close. Could I have one shot like that? You're not going to make it. I'm going to make it. You're not. I am. No, you're not. Too far. I'm going to make it, though. From there, you think? What about this? You think? No. Too far. If I make it, I win. Okay. I won. You won. That was good. What do you talk about in your podcast? We talk about...

I'm not gonna hurt you, just can I just get closer? That's close enough, thank you. What do you talk about? It depends on what the day was like. Sometimes I talk about the day, some of my thoughts on global events, my life stories. It's supposed to be funny, is it a comedy? A lot of jokes. I make a lot of things up, you know? Take my hat off. That's so funny you have a line there. That's embarrassing. It's pretty crazy. Come put it back on. Yeah, put it back on. Okay, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I smell your armpit? Ew, what the hell's wrong with you?

That wasn't like... That's weird. There's no good way to say that. If you had to give me advice, what would it be? Good advice. Live in the moment. You know, bud, this is all there is... Okay. You know, this is all... But the moment is all we have. Nothing else is real. The future, what happened yesterday. Yeah. Right now, you and I are standing here.

At Paul McCartney's house. At Paul McCartney's house. Two creative people. Uh-huh. You know? And this is all we have. Yeah? Yeah. Okay. That's your advice? Yeah. It's not advice. I need advice. Tell me some advice. I want you to give me advice. I want you to give me advice too as well. I think you're doing pretty well. No, no, no. Give me fucking... You should lose the beanie. Never mind. You should put the beanie back on. I thought so. I think you need a stylist, Bobby. Okay.

clothes wise yeah no yeah okay that's my advice okay thank you get a stylist okay i don't like your shirt you don't no okay oh my god hey look at this fat look i'm not looking i'm a dumb dumb no okay

You're not very intimidating, so why do you try to be? I'm not. You're like shorter than me. I know, but still, I'm stronger. No, you're not. I can beat you in arm wrestling. No, you couldn't. 100%. Lie down. All right. This is really uncomfortable. I know. Okay. No, wait. Stop. Stop. You have to come closer. Are you starting? Yeah. That's what you've got? Okay, you won. Okay, I know. Your nails are really ugly.

- What'd you say? - You heard me. - Okay. - Yeah. Any more questions for me, Bobby, before I wrap this up? - We're almost done? - Yeah. - It's not going well? - No. - Should we do it again? - No. - Are you gonna air it? - Maybe.

Probably not. Is it good or bad? I don't know. He thinks we're not gonna air it. He has a mustache too. I know he does. I know Morgan. Why do you know him? Because we're friends. I was in New York and I did a show and his girlfriend. Yeah, she's on his shirt. Allie. Allie Mack. She did a show with us and he was hanging out backstage and I love him. Do you? I really do like this guy a lot. Why don't you hang out with him? He needs friends.

Because he has shit problems. Let's be honest. You don't have to air that out. Yeah, I do. You have shit problems? You can bleep that out. Just say yes or no. Yeah. Or remember we bonded in New York about our shit problems. You have them too. Yeah. But you know what's strange? I don't think I want to know. No, no, you... Please, come on. I want to get to know you. Okay. All right? You know what's strange? So a couple of weeks ago, I had a porn... An adult movie actress... Okay. Do my podcast. And she goes...

"Let me see your butthole." And so I go, "Well, how?" And she goes, "Well, take a photo of it." So Kalilah, my ex-girlfriend, took a photo of my butthole and we zoomed in. Listen to me! I don't think I... So we zoomed into it and I'll tell you, muy, muy bueno. That's what everyone said. Muy, muy bueno. It was almost as if I didn't even have a hole at all. That's how tight that shit was, dog. What's up? Oh, my God.

- Bobby, it was so nice of you to do this interview today. - It was really nice. Thanks for having me. You're good, okay? - You can leave now. - Are you being real? - Yeah. I'm so serious. That was, I didn't like-- - So I just take it myself out and just leave? - Do you have, did you leave anything? - I have my backpack over there. - You can go get it. - Okay. I'll take this off then? No? She's saying to leave. Well, it was good to work with you. - You can have that. That's your souvenir. - No, no, no, come here. - That's what he's trying to do. - Good to see, okay. - We're not gonna be doing any of that today, Bobby.

Yo, come here, man. Please don't hug me. I don't want to touch you either, lady. What the fuck, man? I just wanted to play tennis and you didn't want to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know how to fucking play tennis. It was a waste of fucking time. One year from today. Yeah. We're going to meet up. Yeah. And I'm going to be really good at tennis. Oh, really? Yeah. A year from today? A year from today. I'll be dead. I'm going to take this off. Yeah, thank you. Don't take that with you. I broke that. That's all.

I'm going to bill you for that. It's his. No, it's not his. It's that guy. Thank you guys so much for coming to the podcast. This is Bobby Lee. He's leaving right now, thankfully. And he sucks at tennis. Goodbye, Bobby. You know what's so funny? I'll be honest with you. It's so funny because in a different world, you and I could have been real good friends. In what world? In an alternative universe.

Like, you know, the Avengers. What's the, like, circumstance in which we're friends? I think that we were, um, you were my undeveloped Siamese twin. It came out of my stomach. Okay, Bobby. And I go, hey, you know my sister, Bobby? And she's like, ah. Sister. You know? Okay, I'm gonna go. Good idea, Bobby. It's a good idea. Um, do you have anything you want to promote? Oh, my God, put your shirt back on. Really gross. It's provocative. Please get dressed. What a beautiful day. Really enjoyed it.

I can't wait, man. Hope I see you again, you know? Yeah. It'll be great. It won't be. I like you a lot, you know? Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small project.

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