How To Be Kind, Not Nice | Ep 214
Build with Leila Hormozi
Deep Dive
What is the difference between being nice and being kind?
Niceness is about avoiding conflict to be liked, while kindness is about making hard decisions to be respected. Niceness focuses on short-term harmony, while kindness prioritizes long-term growth and honesty.
Why does being nice often lead to dysfunction in the long term?
Being nice avoids conflict, hard decisions, and constructive feedback, which stifles growth and leads to mediocrity. It sacrifices future performance for short-term harmony, ultimately losing respect and trust from the team.
How does being kind benefit a leader and their team?
Kind leaders communicate honestly, give necessary feedback, and prioritize long-term growth. This builds trust, fosters development, and ensures the team's success, even if it means discomfort in the short term.
What are the key traits of a kind leader?
Kind leaders are authentic, courageous, and honest. They give feedback that is necessary for growth, set boundaries, and prioritize the long-term success of their team and company over short-term comfort.
How can a leader transition from being nice to being kind?
A leader should prioritize honesty over keeping the peace, set clear boundaries, and lead with empathy without letting it cloud judgment. They must focus on long-term growth rather than short-term comfort.
What happens when a leader prioritizes being nice over being kind?
Such a leader avoids hard conversations, lowers standards, and creates a culture of mediocrity. This leads to a bloated, ineffective team where top performers lose trust and the company fails to grow.
Can being nice be toxic in a business environment?
Yes, being nice can be toxic because it avoids necessary conflict, lowers standards, and fosters mediocrity. It prioritizes short-term harmony over long-term growth and trust, ultimately harming the team and company.
What is the role of feedback in being a kind leader?
Feedback is essential for growth and is a sign of respect and care. Kind leaders give honest, constructive feedback, even when it’s uncomfortable, to help their team improve and succeed.
Why is it important for leaders to focus on the long term rather than the short term?
Focusing on the long term ensures sustainable growth and success. Short-term comfort, often prioritized by nice leaders, leads to dysfunction and mediocrity, while long-term focus drives innovation and excellence.
What was the turning point for the speaker in understanding the difference between being nice and being kind?
The speaker realized that avoiding hard decisions to be nice led to a culture of mediocrity and inefficiency. After laying off underperforming employees, they understood that being kind meant making tough choices for long-term success.
- Niceness prioritizes being liked, while kindness prioritizes respect.
- Nice leaders avoid conflict and making hard decisions.
- Nice leaders often sacrifice long-term success for short-term harmony.
- Overly nice leaders can lose respect and trust from their team.
Shownotes Transcript