Why Your Brand Is Who You Are, Not What You Post | Ep 275
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Real brands don't go viral. They go unnoticed until they're undeniable. Consistency builds brands, not announcements or PR releases. You don't need a new wardrobe or a big social media announcement to reinvent or rebrand yourself. You just need to change your behavior. Here's how to rebrand your life and become the person that you're meant to be.

Your brand is just your reputation. So just like in high school, you had a reputation or in middle school, you had a reputation. Now people call it brand, but it's the same thing. I'm sure there's lots of videos that you can watch on here. They're going to tell you all these sexy ways to rebrand yourself as fast as possible and all these things.

Here's the thing. The people who actually rebrand themselves are the ones who can endure being unseen and misunderstood while they build the new version of themselves. So for me, this was really real when I realized that I did not have the reputation that I wanted after selling my company. We had sold our company, Gym Launch, that Alex and I had started together. And I realized that my reputation was still stuck in the past. It was still only aligned with who I was when we had started the company. And it really hadn't evolved to who I was when we sold the

company. People didn't know what I did. They didn't even know that I ran the company. They didn't even know when they joined the company that I was going to be their boss. A lot of people thought that I was just Alex's executive assistant. And so rather than getting a new wardrobe or changing my hair color, I was like, okay, well, how would I have to show up and how would I have to behave to be somebody who had a different brand and had a different reputation? And what I realized is that I always had this fear of being

sounding arrogant or egotistical or being a leader who was full of themselves. And because of that, I actually had really bad executive presence, meaning I didn't show up with confidence and certainty for my team. I didn't show up with confidence publicly. And I didn't insert myself into conversations when I was in rooms with people with my husband, Alex, who was also my business partner. I thought everybody else knew better.

That benefited me in a lot of ways, thinking that I can always learn from other people, thinking that I want to let other people speak, thinking that other people know more than me. I want to hear what they have to say. Those are all things that helped me a lot. But I realized that when taken to an extreme, they actually created a reputation, a brand that wasn't a reflection of who I was. I needed to change how I showed up. I needed to learn to

advocate for myself. I needed to learn to speak, even if I was concerned with what people are going to think. I needed to learn to lead with confidence when I showed up for my team, rather than expect that they were going to know that I was confident about something. And it was really not being afraid to take up space, not being afraid to advocate for myself.

And that wasn't that I needed a new wardrobe. It was that I needed to change my behavior. So if you're in a situation where you're like, I want to change my brand, ask yourself, what are you doing that you need to stop doing? Or what are you not doing that you need to start doing in order to change your brand? Now, here's the thing. Your brand is a lagging indicator of your behavior. If you want to change your brand, you have to change your habits first. And you might not see that pay off for 12, 14,

14, 18 months. So you need to understand it is a lagging indicator. It's not going to happen fast. A lot of the times when people are like, I want to change my brand. Companies do this. People do this. They're like, I need a new wardrobe. We need a new website. We need new font. And it's funny because what it is, is it's like there's dry, shitty cake covered in really good buttercream frosting. It's like, why don't you actually fix the thing that fucked your brand up in the first place?

Right. So like for companies, lots of companies that have bad customer service, you'll see them rebrand and be like, we're a new company with new. Well, if you just fix your customer service, eventually the current frosting that you have would be associated with goods customer service. If you waited long enough, you don't even need to rebrand it.

Changing your brand requires changing your behavior. If you just dress it up, nothing's going to change. Maybe some people will be fooled, but very few. It's like saying that you want to grow a billion dollar business. And so you're like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to wear Rolexes. I'm going to rent a luxury car. And then your current business, by the way, makes no money. Nobody believes you, including yourself. What will your brand be in that instance? Falseness.

fraud, scam, liar. So I know what you're thinking, which is like, okay, well, that's a little overwhelming. How do I actually figure out what behaviors to change? What we want to do is we want to use inverted thinking because a lot of people, they do this, right? You're like, I want to rebrand myself. What do I need to start doing? Not that. What are you doing right now?

that's preventing you from having the brand you want? Where are you acting like an asshole? Where are you self-sabotaging? Where are you making it really hard for yourself to have the brand you want? One of the biggest changes that I made when I was running my first business was like, I wanted to be an example for other people of how they should live their lives. Because I was like, if I wanna be a great leader, I have to be an example for other people. So I asked myself, well, what does a great leader do? And then I said, ooh,

What do I do that's not aligned with what a great leader does? And I was like, oh, well, you know what I am doing is I'm still drinking and getting drunk. Like I get pretty fucked up sometimes on a Friday night or a Saturday. And so I was like, I got to stop drinking like that. And so I did. And for the first three years of my business, I didn't have a single drop of alcohol. I didn't even taste a drink. Now, why? Because I was like, I can't just tell people that I'm an amazing leader who would do anything for them. I have to show them.

I have to act in that way. I have to change my behavior. One bad thing can negatively impact your entire brand and it can make people see you completely differently. So I can be this amazing leader. I can show up. I can do all these things. But if I'm getting fucked up on Friday night and you see the pictures of me or you see me at the bar acting like a fool, it can discredit every other thing I've done. Another example of this, right? Let's look at Kim Kardashian. She has all of the worldly things that you could have. Success and fame and businesses and money. But

She also has a sex tape. So how does that change her brand? How does that change her credibility? How does it change how people see her? So here's the thing. I get it because you're going to identify these behaviors and now you're like, wow, okay, this actually sucks. I have to make a lot of changes and I don't like this at all. But here's the thing. If you want a new brand, then you need to feel the pain of your current one. The brutal truth is you probably don't hate your life enough to change.

It is such an advantage if you can use the pain of how you feel currently to put yourself into a state where you actually want to change. I'll give you an example. It was probably like three years ago. I asked Alex, I was like, hey, have I gained weight? I want an honest answer. Like, I feel like I have. I haven't weighed myself yet, but I look at myself, the way my clothes fit. I just want to know. And he's like, I don't want to tell you because...

you know, I know where this goes. And I was like, I need you to tell me. I'm not going to let you out of this room until you let me know. Have I gained weight? I remember he said, he's like, no, I don't really think, you know, the other day we were at the gym and you were doing lunges and you were holding the weights and I was behind you. And I did notice that your arms, they had this fat that they didn't use before.

before he even finished the sentence, it was like my appetite evaporated from my body. And immediately, I mean, it took me negative five seconds to lose that 10 pounds. The truth gets you to do shit. The truth will move you and the truth will put you into motion. And pain is often one of the best catalysts that we can have to drive ourselves into transformation. And so this pain

Pain might actually get you the energy to facilitate the change you want because to actually change, it takes a significant amount of time and energy. So here's what I want to ask you. Where have you not been admitting the truth to yourself because it's too painful? That is where you have the power to change yourself, to rebrand yourself.

Often the reason that people can't make a rebrand is because they're not dissatisfied enough with their current brand and they're not dissatisfied enough because they won't look at it. A mentor of mine used to say, you can tell a man that there's a snake under his chair, but until he looks for himself, he won't get out of the chair.

You have to look for yourself. You have to take a hard look in the mirror and you have to admit to yourself the things that exist in your life, no matter how shameful or how difficult they are to admit. Maybe it's that you know that you're supposed to have a hard conversation with somebody on your team and that you should have let them go six months ago and you have continued to allow them on your team. Maybe it's that you tell people that,

you're all about self-improvement, but you haven't read a book in a fucking year. Whatever it is, admit the shit to yourself. That is where you're going to find the power. And I want you to use that pain as fuel. If your brand requires willpower to maintain consistently,

It is not your brand. It is a costume. Your brand is who you are, not who you pretend to be. It has to be consistent because trust is built through consistency. People don't trust a brand that's not consistent. They don't trust inconsistency. Imagine it like this, right? If you've got a boyfriend and he's amazing and so loyal to you 363 days of the year and on the other two days, he cheats on you.

What's his brand with you? How does that change your relationship? Do you trust him? That's the thing is that inconsistency in your habits translates to lack of trust with the people who know you, with the people who watch your content, with the people who work for you or that you work for, and it will sabotage your rebrand.

Just know it is okay to make mistakes. It's okay to fuck up, but it will change your brand. And I do think it's important that you take it that seriously. Why is it that I don't go out and drink in a public area? I don't drink in general, but why would I never? I would never allow myself to go to a public bar and get drunk. Why would that be?

Risk of my brand. I don't have a problem with drinking. I don't even have a problem with getting drunk. But what if I'm so drunk that I say something that's just absurd, that makes no sense? Well, I look at it as risk reward. Reward is that maybe I have one fun night and a terrible hangover for three days because I'm over the age of 30. The risk is that I say something or do something that's completely unaligned with who I want to be. I want to show up for my family, for my team, for my audience. Not going to do it, right? And why is that? I want to be consistent. And I don't want to put myself in a situation where I'm going to be inconsistent or

or where it's

It's easier to be inconsistent than consistent, which comes down to willpower. If I just don't put myself in a situation that makes it easy to fuck up my brand, then I'm likely to maintain my brand. But a lot of people don't know how to say no. They're really the want of people, please. And so because of that, they continue to re-break their brand over and over and over again. It's why I don't go to the bar with single women. Why would I not go to the bar with single women? Because I don't want to put myself in a situation where I'm going to have men hitting on me.

Why? Because I want the brand with my husband that I'm a respectful, loyal wife. And I'm always going to represent him well in public. And I don't think it represents my husband well in public when I'm out at the bar with single women who are trying to get hit on. Rather than think about...

how do I become consistent? You want to think, how do I create an environment that makes it as easy as possible for me to step into this new brand? One of the biggest hacks that I have ever found is if I'm trying to rebrand my life, I will change where I live. I will change the people I'm friends with. Those two things. Those are your biggest leverage points. Say we're friends and then you show up to my house drunk out your ass. I'm going to be like, that's unacceptable. Don't talk to me again.

And so you are less likely to get drunk out your ass if we're friends. Now, if you're friends with somebody else who's like, that's amazing, I'm going to pour you a shot, then you're more likely to get drunk out your ass because you have those friends. The standards that your inner circle has will also translate to the standards that you hold yourself to. If you're trying to hold yourself to a different standard...

so that you can be a different person, have a different brand, and you probably need different friends. Or at least you need to over-index your time with the ones who are going to help make it easy because you know it's not acceptable. The second piece is your environment. Where do you live? If you're trying to have a new brand, maybe you're like, you know what? I want to spend more time with family or friends. Maybe it doesn't make sense to live in the inner city. Or maybe you're like, actually, I want to spend more time getting out there. I want the brand that I'm a socialite. I want to be really active on it.

then maybe it makes sense to go get a house or a condo or an apartment in the city. Make it as easy as possible for you to step into this new brand. And the first place to start is with your environment, which is who and what you surround yourself with. Real brands don't go viral. They go unnoticed until they're undeniable. Consistency builds brands, not announcements or PR releases.

I learned this because when I was 18, I was 100 pounds overweight. I was trying to change my life. I wanted to rebrand myself, get out of drinking, alcohol, doing drugs, and

And you know what the thing is, is that nobody gave a fuck until it actually happened. Like literally nobody gave a shit until I lost 100 pounds. And then they were like, oh, wow, you're a different person. I'm like, yes, where have you been? I've been doing this for years. It didn't matter because until they saw the result, my brand didn't change. You don't need to rebrand by shocking and surprising people. You need to rebrand by outworking their doubts.

with consistency. If you can't tolerate being unseen and misunderstood, you will not get the rebrand you want.

The best thing that you can do for yourself is rather than focus on the outcome of that rebrand, focus on all the skills that you're gaining throughout the process. And like I said, that's the outcome. But what leads to that outcome is all the character traits and all the skills that you accumulate to get that brand. Because it's not about what people see. It's about the consistency behind the scenes. And that is built through all the skills that you're going to accumulate to get there.

So for me, when I was rebranding myself when I was 18, I remember that one of the best feelings I ever had was being able to go to a bar and not drink and actually be the person that would drive all my friends home and get them home safe. And then I felt good about myself because I was acting in accordance with what I valued, which was being a person of character and integrity. And at the end of the day,

If your rebrand aligns with the values that you want to exemplify in life, then the process itself becomes the reward, not the outcome at the end. So this video outlined how you can rebrand yourself. But if you're still feeling like, you know what, I am feeling really worried and really anxious about the process of this, then you can go ahead and you can watch my video. It's a video for when you feel behind in life and when you feel like your comfort is keeping you stuck.