“You Gotta Eat the 12 Grapes!” | Sharing Cultura With Your Kids
39:04 Share

♪♪

There is available help. Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In West Virginia, visit www.1800gambler.net. In New York, call 877-8-HOPE-NY. Or send a text to HOPE-NY at 467-369. In Connecticut, call 888-789-7777.

Actors understand from experience that we are only as good as our supporting cast members. Working together is how we bring out the best in each other.

One more about drama here, and whether it's working on TV, films, or important causes, I understand the importance of being present and being prepared, like with State Farm agents, ready to support you when you need it, however you choose. That's the State Farm way. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. When it comes to cleaning your house, who doesn't wish un galán with a trust fund swept in and pass them up to your evil stepmom, like in the telenovelas? Hola, it's Chiquis here, and all those

life isn't always like in the soap operas fabuloso does bring a clean that's always over the top get your home dramatically clean anytime you like without any evil mama drama just long-lasting lavender freshness that's fabuloso taking the drama out of any mess fabuloso's two times concentrated formula provides two times more active ingredients versus non-concentrated fabuloso original use as directed

Want to teach your kids financial literacy, but not sure where to start? Greenlight can help. With Greenlight, parents can keep an eye on kids' spending and saving, while kids and teens use a card of their own to build money confidence. As a parent, you can send instant money transfers, set up chores, automate allowance, and more. It's a convenient way to run your household, customized to your family's needs, and the easy way to raise financially smart kids. Get started with Greenlight today and get your first month free at greenlight.com slash iHeart.

You know that feeling when you walk into your home, take a deep breath, and feel new? Well, that's what it's like to use Clorox Scentiva. Because Clorox Scentiva smells like coconut, cleans like Clorox, and feels like energy. It'll elevate any cleaning routine to not just clean, but also make every room smell like a tropical coconut getaway. Discover how Clorox Scentiva's powerful clean and refreshing scents can transform your space.

Get yours in coconut or other fabulous scents at a nearby retail store. What don't you want to pass on to your kids? Trauma. Culturally? Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop pretending to have it all together and embrace the journey of becoming a little more better every day. Or at least trying to. Yeah. That's Melissa Fumero. And that's Stephanie Beatriz.

Hi. Welcome. Yeah, baby. How are you doing? You know, I think I'm okay. I think I'm okay. I think I'm a little like, you know, we're recording this on a Monday and it's that Monday feeling of the weekend was a whirlwind of just...

kid insanity. Monday, I always feel like a little kid hangover. That's a really good way to put it. Yeah. How are you? I feel similarly. I don't know what to call it, but I had a really down day yesterday where I was like, ugh. I was leaning on Brad a lot. I got

Roz up and I did stuff with her. And then I was like, hey, man, I need to go in my bedroom and hide. Can you please do the majority of this today? And God bless him. He did. And my sister helped too. But like, I just couldn't, I couldn't hack it, man. I couldn't hack it. And it made me think like, you know, on one hand, I'm so grateful for a partner that a partner and a sister, a family that is ready to kind of like

you know, pick up, I not, not pick up the slack, but like catch me or support me when I'm down. But also, but also I have like all these guilty feelings of like, what about like single moms and like people that don't have anybody else to depend on? And like, what are they doing when they're sad? And like, I can't believe I'm in bed right now watching sex in the city. I'm so sad. Like, what am I doing? You know? I get, I think we all do that, but I think that also if, if,

you are able and you have a village or you have community, like, you know, you got to put your, you got to put your mask on for your, your oxygen mask on first. So what you're saying is it's okay for me to watch sex in the city for days on end and just ignore my toddler completely. Maybe not days. I'm just kidding. I don't ignore my child. No, I know you don't. No, but you were just taking care of yourself and her also. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't even know what was wrong with me. Like, I guess you're just having a day in therapy. I was just having a hard day. You're just having a hard day. Well, okay. So now I'm going to ask you, what have you done lately? That's more better. Um, burp burp for my smoothie, which is something I've been, um,

It's my more better. Oh, that's good. Monday reset. I'm trying to like, you know, I've been really busy and all over the place and scattered. So like I worked out this morning and I made my smoothie that I love. I'm trying to like get back in the routine, you know? Oh my God. Monday reset. I love it. Monday reset. That's my more better. What have you done lately that's more better? Oh my God. I'm going to copy you. I'm going to copy you. Yeah.

Yeah, because sometimes, I mean, listen, sometimes every single Monday is a Monday reset and that's just how it goes. Real talk. That's real. That's really real. But it helps me to just be like, whatever. It's fine. Everything you just did is fine. Just Monday reset. Like, let's just commit to like getting back in the routine for the week. Yeah. Oh my God, I'm copying you. I am going to copy you. That's so good. What was mine more better? I'm flossing. Flossing.

Yes. I am such a lazy, like, girl. I'm so lazy about it. Should we do an episode on how to be more better at dental? Because the struggle is real. We could interview our shared dentist. We share a dentist, you guys. Oh, my God. I forgot that you go to my dentist. We share a dentist. More, more.

Anyway, more better at dental care with Stephanie Moser. That's not what we're talking about today, actually. Today's episode, we're talking about sharing your culture with your kids. If you don't have kids, this can also be for you if you're like, I want to share my culture with my friends, with my chosen family. Yeah. So it's like about keeping kind of like touchstones of your culture in your life and how you do it.

Are you doing it? Do you want to do it more? Do you feel like I totally have that down and you just want to turn this episode off? Please don't. Like, you know, I think one of the things that I think about a lot is like, how do I do that? Because...

For me, I assimilated. Like, my parents wanted me to assimilate into, you know, for purposes of this conversation, we'll call it, like, American culture. And they didn't want us to speak Spanish. They wanted us to, you know, be... Like, I even wanted to assimilate. I remember going to school and seeing everybody's lunches and specifically wanting lunches that looked like the other kids at school. And there's nothing wrong with that, but, like...

You know, how I grew up and like how embracing parts of my culture didn't come until honestly until I was like in college, late high school, college. I just want that journey to be different for my kid and my family. You know, what about you? Yeah.

Yeah. Similarly, that pressure to assimilate. The story in our family is when my brother was really young, like first grade or kindergarten, the teacher called my parents in, and this is in the 80s, and

asked them what they were speaking at home and they said Spanish and they said, it's really messing him up because my brother was saying things like, give me low and take a low. And like he was, you know, just he was speaking Spanglish basically. Yeah.

And, you know, I feel like now there's a lot more awareness and education about like that always just evens out and kids like, you know, just become bilingual and it's not a big deal. And there are speech delays sometimes when you are teaching two languages. But like, you know, back then it was just like, ooh. And like my parents got scared. So they didn't stop speaking Spanish to us, but they stopped making us respond in Spanish. Yeah.

So I grew up with a bilingual brain where I've always been able to understand Spanish pretty fluently.

But it's like not in my – it's not in my mouth. Yeah, yeah. That's like my sister. Like the connection is broken and it's like gone better and I've worked on – you know, and it's like I get on these like ruts of like working on it a lot and it gets a lot better and then I lose it and, you know, it's like a very up and down thing. But –

But yeah, so I think – and what you said about like food too, I think I remember, you know, asking more for like ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch or, you know, and –

And things like that. And I grew up in a town with a lot of Italians and happened to have the maiden name Gallo, which kind of let me blend in because Italians sort of look like Latin anyway, you know? Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes they do. And so I remember being conscious of like, oh, I could just like –

blend it. I don't have to like tell anybody that I'm, I don't have to be me. I could just be like, I could just like, like hide a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hide. Yeah. Um, but also there were a lot of kids with like immigrant parents or grandparents. So I also didn't feel like too, too othered in a sense too. I think I also got lucky with the particular group of friends that I grew up with. But, um, but yeah, it's, it's,

Definitely. And I think it's also different. I think a lot about how I was like the child of immigrants and how different that is for my kids who are second gen, you know. And I just feel like it was so much more –

kind of in my everyday life than it is necessarily for me now. Does that make sense? Like... Yeah, because, like, you... Your parents came to the U.S. when they were teenagers, right? Yeah. Yeah. So they are already, like, they had established lives there in Cuba. Yeah. And, like...

way of life, established, like, attitudes and values and beliefs and, you know, even down to, like, the art around them and, like, the feeling of where they grew up and the habits of the people and, like, all that stuff was, like, already kind of, like, established and then they moved. Yeah. So that was already part of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They were, yeah, they had to start over here in high school. Right. Or early high school. Yeah.

And, yeah, I feel like, you know, there was a lot of Caribbean art in our house. And, like, you know, there was a lot of, you know, I mean, my parents loved music. So there was, you know, Gloria Estefan and Tony Bennett and, like, Frank Sinatra and also Celia Cruz were like, oh, that's, like, what was always playing. It was a very, yeah, like, Spanglish mixed kind of house. But they definitely, I think, felt pressure to assimilate.

Yeah. I think a lot of immigrants feel that way. Yeah. They don't want to be targeted, you know, like they don't want to feel like they're targeted for being different. Yeah. And they want things to be easier for their kids than for them. That's very real. What was it? Well, you came when you were three? Two. I was two when I moved to the U.S. Two.

Yeah. So, yeah, even so for me, for your parents, because they were like full adults, they were family adults. Right. Like they were grownups and and, you know, coming to a new world, basically, with like.

Both of them could speak English, but they have and still do. My mother's accent is, you know, it's thick. And my father's was too. You know, like I think for them, they really wanted us to – it was about assimilating and also for them it was about achieving. So it was like –

straight A's, nothing but. You can't come home with a B. Like, if you come home with a B, hell is going to come down on you. And it was just, like, palpable of, like, you have to be. It has to be, like, 98 or above. You've got to succeed at everything that you do. If you don't, then what are we doing? Just pick something else to be good at, you know? But I think that was a lot of, like, trying to protect myself

Us, me and my sister. Yeah. And like what was interesting about the time that they came and we moved to Texas. So like it was really...

It was, my mom really found a community within her church and she found a lot of Latinos, but they were from all over. So like some of her friends were Guatemalans. Some of her friends were Mexicans. Some of her friends were Portuguese. Some of her friends were Brazilians. Some of her friends were this, that, the other, right? And like they were all immigrants and they had, almost all of them were immigrants. And then some of them were born and raised in Texas, but they were, you know, they were really connected to their Mexican culture. So like, I think,

overall when I was a kid it was really Mexican culture that I saw and felt a lot of and consequently I still feel really connected to Mexican culture even though technically I'm not Mexican at all but right I just feel that way and I feel a lot of like like when I see the Mexican flag I feel pride about it even though I'm not from Mexico yeah to me it doesn't matter because like

Because I grew up in Texas and, like, Texas used to be a part of Mexico. And, like, I just feel connected. I get that. I relate to that because, like, there's a lot of Puerto Ricans and Dominican, like, Caribbean Latinos where I grew up and, like, and I've been to those places. And I feel that same kind of feeling with Puerto Rican culture, Dominican culture, and, yeah. Yeah.

It's like, this is so cheesy, but like, it's like that song in In the Heights where like everybody's like flying their own flags, but they all still really feel connected to their culture and they're proud of each other. And they're just singing like about how much they love their countries, even though they're not there. They have family there, whatever, like tradition and roots, you know, like that.

I don't know. I remember being, we were, when we were shooting in the Heights, when we were shooting that song, it was like two days outside, I think. I love that scene so much. Oh my God. The middle of summer. The middle of summer in New York City. Like we were melting. Melting. Hot and stinky. Stupid me.

I was like, I want like all the hair pieces for this job. Like I want like in every scene, I want to have like a wild hairdo. Just like put as much hair in there as you possibly can. Meanwhile, we're dancing outside and it's like 100 degrees and I have like 50 pounds of hair on my head. And you're like, why did I do this to myself? I was like, ugh. You know what? It looked good, girl. It looked good, doesn't it? It looked good. It looked good. Thank you.

We're better.

There is available help. Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In West Virginia, visit www.1800gambler.net. In New York, call 877-8-HOPE-NY. Or send a text to HOPE-NY at 467-369. In Connecticut, call 888-789-7777. Or visit ccpg.org. Play responsibly. In the name of Boot Hill Casino and Resort, KS, Newland, New Hampshire, Ontario, and Oregon. 21 Plus varies by jurisdiction.

When faced with challenges, I have learned there is no option but to overcome it. You've got to lace up your kicks and keep charging forward with love and positivity because life keeps happening, baby, but you got this.

Hi, I'm Honey German, and I know how a positive mindset can help us overcome all sorts of setbacks. That's why I make sure to empower my community every day, because a bit of motivation and support can go a long way. And luckily, we have State Farm to support us. Like when you talk to a State Farm agent to choose the coverage you need, and they have the options to protect the things you value most. It's the perfect positive tip you need. It feels good knowing State Farm agents are there to help you choose the right coverage with great support.

24-7. State Farm is also a big supporter of the My Cultura podcast network, where we as podcast hosts get to share our experiences and stories. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Listen to new episodes of your favorite My Cultura shows on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Our kids have said to us since we moved to Minnesota, we are far more active than we've ever been anywhere else we've ever lived.

Moving to Minnesota opened up a lot of doors for us. Just this overall sense of community, the values that Minnesotans have. It's a real accepting, loving community, especially with two young kids. See what makes Minnesota the star of the North. New residents share why they love calling it home at exploreminnesota.com slash live.

Introducing the TikTok 5 smartwatch for kids 3 and up with safe in-app messaging, video calling, GPS location tracking, no social media, and no games. It's tech-powered peace of mind. Now that I'm all done with school shopping, I feel like I can relax. I don't think I'll ever be able to relax since Jackson is starting 5th grade and walking to school now. Have you looked into TikTok? TikTok, the TikTok 5 smartwatch. Here, look.

Look, I can track Allison and we can message back and forth. She gets her independence and I get my peace of mind. That's exactly what I need. I've been resisting giving Jackson technology. I guess I just needed a TikTok 5. It's the safest way to introduce it. Save big with the back to school sale. Get $35 off right now. Rock back to school with TikTok 5.

Discover more at mytiktok.com. That's T-I-C-K-T-A-L-K. That's T-I-C-K-T-A-L-K.

My brother-in-law died suddenly, and now my sister and her kids have to sell their home. That's why I told my husband we could not put off getting life insurance any longer. An agent offered us a 10-year, $500,000 policy for nearly $50 a month. Then we called SelectQuote. SelectQuote found us identical coverage for only $19 a month.

A savings of $369 a year. Whether you need a $500,000 policy or a $5 million policy, SelectQuote could save you more than 50% on term life insurance. For your free quote, go to SelectQuote.com. SelectQuote.com. That's SelectQuote.com. SelectQuote. We shop, you save. Full details on example policies at SelectQuote.com slash commercials. For better.

Consequently, one of the things I want to do as a parent is... Roz is... She's growing up with a mom who's Colombian and Bolivian and a dad who... His family's been in the United States for quite a while. They were Eastern European, but they've been here much longer than my family. Right. And so...

I'm trying to find what can be, and she's still little, but I'm like trying to introduce these like new traditions in our family. Like at Christmas time, we make tamales and she helps. There's this great book called Too Many Tamales. It's really, really cute.

We read it at Christmastime and then we make tamales and she asks to read it again and again. But we also make pierogies because that's part of my husband's culture. So like I'm trying to do both things through food because food is so celebratory, right? And it's such an easy kind of

into culture and and I also find that there's like story around it which is why I was psyched when I found that book the Too Many Tamales book yeah because in the book there's so many pictures of her and her primos and like her her family all coming together at Christmas time and like

There's so much story jumping off points that I can have from her starting to make tamales as a kid. Yeah, I love that. It makes me want to look for a good Noche Buena book. I'm sure there's like a million. I'm sure there's like a million. I just haven't had the idea to look. Is that something that you guys celebrate, Noche Buena? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Growing up. So it's like a little bittersweet for me because growing up,

It is a tradition that's been passed on in Cuba. They used to gather at my mom's grandmother's house and it was all the cousins. And I guess the house was like on the bigger side, the way my mom describes it. But like, she also was like, we all like piled and like, we all slept in the living room together. Like all the kids on the floor, like everybody would sleep over and

And she also talked about her grandmother would go outside to kill the pig that morning. That was one tradition. She would go outside with-

Is that something that you're planning on doing in your life, in your backyard? With a hammer. Like, that's how the festivities started that day. And all the kids would be like – Oh, my God. That's so intense. Isn't it so intense? And my mom was like, no. But, like, we just, like, all ran outside screaming and laughing. Like, it was, you know. I was like, oh, my God. That's crazy. I love it. So then – Sorry to the vegans. Sorry to the vegans for listening to this. Sorry to the vegans. This is Cuba.

Um, so, and then when my parents got their first house in New Jersey, they started doing the same thing, having all of our cousins from New York come over every Christmas Eve. And, uh, my mom would make most of the food. Well, she would take like the pig to get, um,

uh, done at like a Cuban bakery. Um, she would, she would do it, she would prep it and then she would take it to get cooked and then they'd pick it up for dinner. Um, and my, um, my Tia's would bring the black beans and, you know, somebody would bring the yuca. It's always yuca, black beans, rice, pork, and, uh, plantains. That's Chris Christmas Eve dinner.

But yeah, so every Christmas Eve was like 30 of my cousins at my parents' house and we'd have a party and we'd have dinner and exchange gifts. And it was amazing. And we all like miss it so much. That's so sweet.

So I always have guilt in me that my kids aren't getting that because we live in California. And also the family is like – my parents have retired and moved away and some people have spread out a little bit. Yeah. But I do make that meal and I do make the Christmas cookies that I used to make with my mom when I was a kid. Oh, my God. What are they? They're just little butter cookies, but they're so fucking good. They're so good.

This recipe is so easy. You have to share the recipe. I'll share the recipe. We'll put it on Instagram. And it's so fucking good. And I use like a cookie press. It's like those kind of cookies. So you can do like a lot. I make them for like my kids' teachers now. But yeah, I feel very strongly about like keeping that Noche Buena like –

You know, that we have that meal and we make those cookies and we all sit down and we decorate, you know. That's another one, too. I feel like that's been a tradition is, like, I decorate with the kids. I feel like… Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. Like, involving them in it. I don't know if it's kosher or not, but the little…

Corner store over here by where I live has Christmas papel picado, and we put it up last year. And Roz freaking loves papel picado. She freaking loves it. Wait, I don't know what papel picado is. Papel picado is usually at...

for Day of the Dead, Dia de los Muertos. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's that beautiful paper that is like cut out. Yes, I didn't know that's what it was called. Yes. Yeah, papel picado. And that's very, I don't know if that's Colombian at all. I mean, I think it's just Mexican. I'm not sure. I could Google it. I will. Maybe Isis could Google that while I'm talking so I don't sound like I'm talking out my ass. But like, yeah, decorating is a big one for us on...

at Christmas time. No. ISIS. What up, ISIS? What'd you find about papel picado? I googled papel picado. Yeah. It is originated from Mexico. It's a Mexican folk art. The tradition of using papel picado originates from practices by the Aztecs. The Aztecs covered a bark textile called amatal with melted rubber and painted on it.

Oh my God, that's so cool. That is so cool. I love it. I think it's so beautiful. I love the very intricate hand-done stuff and I love the plastic stuff that I can get at the corner store. And we hang it at Dia de los Muertos. We usually keep it up for a while and then we switch it out for the Christmas colored ones. And...

I don't know. I just love having it around at Christmastime because it makes me, again, I think it makes me feel connected to Mexican culture. I think I might steal that too, Steph. It's so cute. And add it to our Christmas decorations next year because it's so festive. Because just living in Los Angeles, my kids have a connection to Mexican culture because it's… Exactly. Yeah. Exactly, exactly that.

Did you do anything on Christmas Day? Because we hilariously like did nothing on Christmas Day ever. We went to the movies and ate Chinese food. We went to the movies. We went to the movies and ate Chinese food. And I have started to do that too. I've started to get Chinese food on Christmas Day. Bro, that is –

Okay. So I'm trying to get Brad, my husband Brad, to understand movies on Christmas Day. And he does not get it. He's like, Christmas Day isn't for that. I'm like, that is the day for that. It's the best. We'll do this together. Everybody's like, the grownups are kind of hungover. Everyone's food hungover. You don't want to do anything. You open presents. You kind of clean it up. Then you go to the movies. Yes. That is a, I mean, that's got to be like a purely American tradition, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. What about New Year's? Did you guys do any of the Latin? Oh, my God. Do you do a lot of them? We did. We had to wear yellow underwear or new underwear. Uh-huh. We did the 12 grapes at midnight. That's what we always did. 12 grapes. Got to eat the 12 grapes for good luck.

where do the grapes come from? Listen to us. We're having this. I mean, this is part of why we're having this discussion, you guys, because like, well, that's the thing though about traditions is sometimes you just do them and you don't know. I was always told that 12 grapes were for good luck for the new year.

That's what my mom told me. Good luck for the new year. One for every month. One for every month. Yes. And you're supposed to eat them as fast as possible. Yes. Without choking. That's what we did. Which is scary. Without choking. Which I never thought about when I started to do with my kids. I was like, the first time, I think the last. Let me cut them. Yeah. Come on out so you don't choke. I think last year was the first year. Meanwhile, our parents were like, just eat them off the vine. Just don't worry about it. Yeah, yeah. Don't even wash them. Yeah. Just shove them in your mouth and chew. Yeah.

We did it last year for the first time because last year was the first time my kids could stay up until 9 because in Los Angeles we do New York New Year's Eve at 9 o'clock. Oh, cute. That's what we did this year. Yeah, yeah. You put the New York feed on and at 9 o'clock you can like do, you know, Happy New Year because my kids are too little to – they won't make it till midnight. And –

And yeah, I gave them the grapes and I was so excited. And I was like, you gotta eat them as fast as I can. As they started putting them in my mouth, I was like, no, wait, just spit one out. I think that's too many. It doesn't have to be fast. Just do one at a time. See, you know, you have to adjust the traditions for your own family. You do.

I think there's a lot of stuff that, like, I want to try with her, you know? It's like, try and see what sticks. And because, again, like, I didn't grow up with a ton of this stuff. I mean, Noche Buena was a big one in our house, but I didn't... I wasn't...

I think my parents did their absolute best. And I think they had a lot on their plates. And I think like those kind of things weren't always at the forefront of their mind. Oh, 100%. Trying to make sure that culturally I had a touchstone. They were just trying to make it day to day, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

So when I think about now, I want to give my kid that stuff because if I don't give it to her, you know, like if I don't teach her the language or at least give her like the choice to learn it, you know, or like the experience of traveling to Colombia if we can, to Bolivia if we can, the experience of like,

making those cultural connections. If I don't help her build those bridges, it's going to be a lot harder for her to build them on her own later. 100%. And I think our parents just being who they are so much was passed on to us just kind of without them trying, you know, because it was, I think culture also extends to like,

I don't know, like, you know, your values and your point of view and, you know, obviously it's like holidays and it's food and it's music. Like those are the more kind of, I think, surface ones that are maybe the loudest. But yeah, I think it comes, you know, I see it in just –

Yeah, like I'm big on like manners and respect. And I think that that's like a very Latino thing. Like I remember there was this one video someone sent me. It was like on Instagram or TikTok or something. And it was, you know, those princesses you can hire for like a birthday party?

And so it was like one of those women that was in her like princess outfit in her car. And she goes, I just want to like give props to like all the Latino families because every time I work at a Latino family party, those kids are so respectful. She was like, look at this plate of food they sent me home with of this delicious food. She was like.

They always send me home with food. They always ask me if I need a break. They treat me like I'm part of the family when I come in. And I felt such pride watching that video and also just like, yeah, I want – and I try to be really conscious of that of like when people are at my house, I'm very like –

like, like I, like I play hostess, but I'm also like, if you need, cause this is how my mom was like, like if you need something from the fridge, go get something from the fridge. Like, you know, if you, you don't like be comfortable, be at home. Like I, you know, don't like, you're not a guest, you know, like you're a part of the family. And,

Right. I can hear in my head my mom going, pero no seas malcriada. You know, like, don't be rude. Don't be rude. Say hello. Say goodbye. Say goodbye. Say goodbye and thank you before you leave. That was another big one.

I remember as an adult being at a wrap party for I think the soap I was on and somebody from that show came up to me like the next day at work or whatever or the next time I saw them. They were like, you are the only person I know who like intentionally goes around the room to say bye to like almost everybody before you leave. And I think that that's so polite. And I was just like – it was so automatic for me because that was so like ingrained from my parents. Yeah.

And they were like, I just appreciate it. It's so nice. And I was like, oh, and I'm like, good. And I was like, oh, thank you. So now I think about those things with my kids of just like, be respectful. Yeah. Meanwhile, I'm like, bye. Like I bounce out of parties without saying goodbye because it stresses me out to say goodbye to people. Oh, yeah. I mean, I think that's fine, too. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

More better.

There is available help. Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In West Virginia, visit www.1800gambler.net. In New York, call 877-8-HOPE-NY. Or send a text to HOPE-NY at 467-369. In Connecticut, call 888-789-7777. Or visit ccpg.org.

As an actor, I know from experience that we are only as good as our supporting cast.

We strive to bring out the best in each other and set each other up for success. If we do our job right, you come away entertained and inspired. Hi, I'm Wilmer Valderrama, and whether it's my work on TV, film, or even standing up for causes important to me and my community, I make sure to be present and be prepared. Starting with that work ethic only brings out the best performances.

It's like when you need insurance. State Farm is there 24-7 to help you choose the right coverage. State Farm agents offer great support when you need it, so you feel at ease.

State Farm knows that community comes first, and that's why it supports the Michael Tudor Podcast Network. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Listen to new episodes of your favorite Michael Tudor podcasts on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Our kids have said to us since we moved to Minnesota, we are far more active than we've ever been anywhere else we've ever lived.

Moving to Minnesota opened up a lot of doors for us. Just this overall sense of community, the values that Minnesotans have. It's a real accepting, loving community, especially with two young kids. See what makes Minnesota the star of the North. New residents share why they love calling it home at exploreminnesota.com slash live.

Introducing the TikTok 5 smartwatch for kids 3 and up with safe in-app messaging, video calling, GPS location tracking, no social media, and no games. It's tech-powered peace of mind. Now that I'm all done with school shopping, I feel like I can relax. I don't think I'll ever be able to relax since Jackson is starting 5th grade and walking to school now. Have you looked into TikTok? TikTok, the TikTok 5 smartwatch. Here.

Look, I can track Allison and we can message back and forth. She gets her independence and I get my peace of mind. That's exactly what I need. I've been resisting giving Jackson technology. I guess I just needed a TikTok 5. It's the safest way to introduce it.

Save big with the back to school sale. Get $35 off right now. Rock back to school with TikTok 5. Discover more at mytiktok.com. That's T-I-C-K-T-A-L-K. That's T-I-C-K-T-A-L-K.

My brother-in-law died suddenly, and now my sister and her kids have to sell their home. That's why I told my husband we could not put off getting life insurance any longer. An agent offered us a 10-year, $500,000 policy for nearly $50 a month. Then we called SelectQuote. SelectQuote found us identical coverage for only $19 a month.

A savings of $369 a year. Whether you need a $500,000 policy or a $5 million policy, SelectQuote could save you more than 50% on term life insurance. For your free quote, go to SelectQuote.com. SelectQuote.com. That's SelectQuote.com. SelectQuote. We shop, you save. Full details on example policies at SelectQuote.com slash commercials. Welcome.

What? Okay. So we talked a lot about stuff that we do want to pass on. What don't you want to pass on to your kids? Trauma. Culturally? Oh, man. You know what I mean? But you know what? It's also like sometimes I'm a little on the not on the fence about it. Let me explain. But I feel like I, you know, I'm Cuban. I'm Cuban.

Obviously, the way my family came here, the way my husband's also Cuban, the way his family came here is surrounded with a lot of trauma. I have a cousin who was a Peter Pan kid, came on a plane by herself, didn't see her parents for five years. There was a lot of crazy stories I grew up around. And the positive thing that those stories gave me, I think, was like,

ambition and drive and like, and being really grateful and, and having kind of this perspective of like,

kind of how good I have it. Like, you know what I mean? Like there is, there is that like joke about like when you're an immigrant, a child of immigrants, like it's really hard to complain about anything. You know, it's like, oh my God, today was so hard. Oh, was today hard? Did you have to flee your country? Like, you know, it's, yeah. Yeah.

And definitely that happened to me a lot, which is another complicated thing. But then there are times where you see like, oh, I think this did make me stronger. I think this did give me this kind of oomph. But yeah, but I definitely, I don't know. It'll be interesting to see.

you know, for my kids to kind of, when they're older, obviously, I don't know. I'm curious if like learning about that will give them the same sort of shift in perspective or, you know, I also have the privilege of telling them older and they're not just like surrounded by it too, which is something I recognize, you know, I get to choose when they learn about that.

Yeah, I think that that's really important for them, you know, to hear, like, where they come from. Like, what were the steps that got them here, you know? Because, like, that is a part of, I mean, that's a part of family tradition in a weird way. It's like, what are your roots? Where are you from? Like, how do you…

You know, like how are all the parts of you connected and built, you know? And that goes for like I think any – Any, yeah. Anybody, right? Like I want to know about myself. I want to know how the parts of me – and I want to introduce like parts of that to my friends and my partner that didn't have that experience, you know? Yeah. Are there any parts of your culture that you don't want to pass on?

Trauma. I think for a lot of us, it's trauma. It's trauma. Particularly, it's like, you know, I mean, this is a very generalized thing to say. And please forgive me, audience. But, you know, we've all seen the stereotypical, like, Latinos are passionate and they're fiery and spicy. And, like, listen. Yeah.

We could get into a big conversation about that. But what I know to be true about my own family was that communication was rife with a lot of like explosion. And and I think, you know, my parents did their best, but I don't know that they always knew how to communicate.

In the healthiest and kindest ways. And like you pick up on that as a kid. You go, oh, well, I guess this is normal. This is how it is when you're married or how you talk to people. Yeah. You know, and I think that there was also an element of them being really afraid. I think one of the things that I'm trying to figure out as a parent and honestly as a person is like, how do I approach things with less fear?

And how do I approach things with like more communicativeness, especially when I'm mad. So that I'm not just like exploding, you know, in a way that like I grew up where like the explosion was just like kind of the norm, you know. But I don't want to explode. I want to like take a breath. I want to, you know, if I have to, I want to leave the room. If I have to, I want to say, I can't talk about this with you right now. I need to just take a step back. Yeah. Whatever, however I do it.

So that's the kind of stuff that like those are honestly some of them are like traditions in my family because I grew up around it and they grew up around it. And like I want to end some of that stuff. Yeah. Break the cycle.

Yeah. That's like a, that's a very fancy way to say like, don't yell at your kid. I don't want to yell at my kid. I don't really want to yell at my kid. The only times I've ever like really raised my voice at Roz is like, if she's like climbing on the stairwell, like, you know, the barrier on the stairwell. Sometimes. Sometimes. Hey. Yes. Like, you know,

Yeah. But I'm not of the – I just don't want to – I don't want to – No, I know. Have it be the normal all the time way of being. Yeah. Also because then it doesn't work. Yeah. Oh, totally. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Like if I were to yell, like she's climbing down off of that staircase thing, you know, like whatever it is because she's like, whoa, this is serious as opposed to like if you hear yelling all the time, then it's like, meh, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is how it got –

became for me. I like barely heard it. I was like, I don't know. My mom's yelling about something. I don't know. I'm not sure. Oh, man. My mom didn't – well, no. She did – yeah, I think I was kind of like that with my mom too. She did yell a lot. But also like she just talks loudly. Like I remember times that my friends would come over and she and my grandmother would be in the kitchen talking. And my friends would be like, oh, my God. Should we go outside? Are they fighting? Yeah, I know. Yeah.

They're just talking about what to make for dinner. They're not agreeing. Or the over-talking, which we're doing right now. Yes, exactly. Poor Brad in the beginning was like, I can't focus. I'm sorry, but this is it. This is how it goes. We talk to each other. This is how it is, babe. Steph, this was a fun chat.

This was very fun. I'm very glad that we talked about this because it kind of felt like I was not doing a good job and now I feel a little bit more better. I know. I feel that way too. The same. I was like, oh, I don't think I do that. I should do more. And I do feel inspired to do more. I feel like I got some inspiration.

good ideas from you and I think just being like yeah sometimes just talking about the thing makes you more conscious of it and I'm like oh I am passing on some some good things so it's it's good yeah do feel more better it's about culture I do too

I do, too. And it makes me excited for the holidays, actually. I mean, it's far away at this point, but I don't know. I also just, like, love Christmas. I love it so much. Oh, my God. Me, too. We have that in common. We always have. I love Christmas so much. I can't. I mean, I just love it. I love it. And, you know, whatever holiday you celebrate, like, if you're religious or not, I just think, like…

There's something about that season that it's like a new year is coming. The winter solstice is there. It's like celebratory. You're with your friends and family. It's like, you know, people call it the season of giving for a reason because something comes over you and you just want to like help other people and reach out and gift and love. Be with family. Remember. Be with community. Yeah. It's such a beautiful part of the year and I just love it so much.

Same. Anyways, happy holidays. Happy holidays. Months from now. Thanks, friends, for stopping by. Okay, see you next time. Bye. Bye. Do you have something you'd like to be more better at that you want us to talk about in a future episode? Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried one of our tips and tricks? Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at morebetterpod at gmail.com. And include a voice note if you want to be featured on the pod. Ooh.

More Better with Stephanie and Melissa is a production from WV Sound and iHeart Media's My Cultura podcast network. Hosted by me, Stephanie Beatriz, and Melissa Fumero. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid, Leo Clem, and Sophie Spencer-Zavos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama and Leo Clem at

WV Sound. This episode was edited by Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and features original music by Madison Davenport and Halo Boy. Our cover art is by Vincent Remis and photography by David Avalos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. See you next week, suckas! Bye!

Un poquito más mejor. Hola mi gente, Rosalind Sanchez here from He Said, Ella Dijo. And although I like drama in my telenovelas, when it comes to real life, I prefer a drama-free casa. Thanks to Fabuloso. Its remarkable lavender scent lingers like a longing glance. And with two times more active ingredients to take the drama out of any mess, you'll be shouting gracias.

Fabuloso's two times concentrated formula provides two times more active cleaning ingredients versus non-concentrated Fabuloso Original. Use as directed. In professional wrestling, who doesn't love a hot tag when the patient hero finally swoops in to challenge the villain in reverse events? Hi, everyone. It's Freddie Prinze Jr. here. And when it comes to hot tags and reversal of fortunes, there's none better than the kind State Farm agents can offer.

When it comes to important insurance decisions, let State Farm support you with the coverage you need, backed with 24-7 support. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

This episode is brought to you by FX is the old man. The hit show returns starring Jeff Bridges and John Lithgow. The former CIA agent sets off on his most important mission to date to recover his daughter after she's kidnapped. The stakes get higher and more secrets are uncovered. FX is the old man premieres September 12th on FX stream on Hulu.

You know that feeling when you walk into your home, take a deep breath, and feel new? Well, that's what it's like to use Clorox Scentiva. Because Clorox Scentiva smells like coconut, cleans like Clorox, and feels like energy. It'll elevate any cleaning routine to not just clean, but also make every room smell like a tropical coconut getaway. Discover how Clorox Scentiva's powerful clean and refreshing scents can transform your space.

Get yours in coconut or other fabulous scents at a nearby retail store. You know that vibe when you're riding in your all-new Camry and that cousin calls, the one who always tries to one-up you. I mean, yours is fine and all, but... Not even a hello. It's straight into better job, boyfriend, vacation spot. Your response? Brushing the dirt off your shoulders and pulling up in the all-new Camry. 225 horsepower, bold grille, available 19-inch wheels, and wireless charger. Who has the better what now?

Thought so. The vibe just shifted in your favor with the all-new Camry Toyota. Let's go places.