High vs low maintenance friends, stealing someone’s big day & Hawaii recap
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Mean girl. No, like, you really gotta give credit where credit's due, which is to these Kardashians. Like, they are not taking their foot off the gas. And, like, they're doing interesting things. Like, Khloe's a podcaster now. Kim's an actress. We cannot get past Ty, how are you, for the past four weeks. But, like, hey, at least you were saying something to each other more than every three months. Have you watched Clueless ever? Yeah, of course.

Alex, this is like the Titanic and the notebook. Of course I have. Welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod. How are you? We're back. We have so much to talk about. I know. I haven't, we haven't talked on the podcast. I think it's been two weeks, right? Because, right? Yeah. Yeah, correct. Dang. And now we're already in May and Memorial Weekend is coming up. Like, I literally don't know where time is going.

When you, I know, I know. I'm so happy though that we are like, I'm happy that the summer months are coming because it's just like so happy. But when you, I want to talk about Hawaii because like I'm dying to know. When you posted like the photo of you and Pete, but because you had gone to the wedding and you put like the ring emoji.

Harrison was beside me and he was like, wait, you can't do that. I thought they got engaged. And I was like, okay, so two things. One, I would, of course, tell you guys before I posted on Instagram. Can you imagine? You just find out I get engaged through an Instagram picture. We're just scrolling. And two, that's so funny you said that because I had to change the caption because Pete was like Jordan.

People are going to be so confused. And I was like, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. It was like five in the morning when I posted the picture. So I did change the caption to include the couple's name who got married because I but but did you keep the emojis?

Probably I think you did because I saw it with the caption of them That is the updated one I saw Because you stop in your tracks sometimes when you see I always stop when I see a ring emoji So funny Oh yeah, I mean the amount of people who thought we were gonna come back and say we were engaged Like even Madeline was like, do you think you're gonna get engaged? And I was like, no, like

I just, Pete specifically told me I'll never expect it. And I feel like Hawaii would be so predictable that I just like didn't expect it. But it was really funny because a lot of people were like, you're secretly engaged, aren't you? And I was like, no, you guys, I'm not engaged. I think that you...

Will not expect it. But I agree with you. It's not going to be like Hawaii would be too obvious, I think. Yeah. And Pete was like, I would never propose to you on someone else's wedding occasion. He's like, I'm not going to go to your friend's wedding in Hawaii and then propose to you. And I was like, that's extremely valid.

I think that that needs to be talked about more like not stealing other people's big days and, and having the wherewithal like around that, because you know, you guys are going on a great vacation. That would be a good time to do it in theory, but you can't pile on big events because then you take away from other people's big events. It's like announcing you're pregnant on Thursday, but then you're going to someone's wedding on Saturday. Everyone's like, congratulations. It's like,

No. I could not agree more. I cannot understand the people who propose to someone at someone's wedding. People do that? Yes. Okay. I would say like I don't know anyone personally, but I've seen like – I've seen it in movies, but I've also seen like TikToks where –

What? Like, it would be like your best single friend proposing at your wedding. And I'm like, that is actually insanity. And I don't know what's going through the person proposing and the bride and groom's head. Because I would shut that down immediately if I was the bride. You mean like the wedding weekend? No, like I would propose at your wedding. What? Yeah. Is that insane? Usually it's like the sister or like...

Their absolute best friend, like someone super close. But I think that's actually like disgusting. I'm at a loss for words. You cannot do that. I was reading a book and they were like this in this book. The mother was supposed to just be painted as like a bad mother. But she said they said that she got engaged at her wedding like it was her second marriage. I'm just like, absolutely not.

I saw the other day somebody posted, like, tell me the worst thing your mother-in-law's ever done to you. And the most liked comment, and I guess a lot of mother-in-laws have done it, is they'll wear, like, a slightly off-white dress to the wedding because it's like they're giving their baby boy away too type vibe. And I'm like, what? I'm sorry, but, like...

I don't understand how it's so hard for just like one day to not wear white or a color that's similar to white or to like not announce you're pregnant at someone else's baby shower or like... Yeah, I like that baby shower better because like the way I'm thinking about it now, like the wedding example I use, I don't think really fits because like that's fine if you do that, you know? Like if you do it on like a Thursday or Wednesday before you're going, like that I'm cool with because they're like different...

I think proposing on Friday going to a wedding on Saturday is like hard, especially if you have like the same friend group, etc. But it's also just like, can't you just wait like a couple more days? You know what I mean? Right, like what's a Monday? Totally. Can you imagine if, yeah, like you at your baby shower, if one of your friends was just like, I'm also pregnant with my first baby. Yeah.

Surprise. It's like, wait, what? Yeah, it's fascinating. I cannot. My jaw is on the floor that people propose at people's weddings. I cannot. I know. I want to like look up a TikTok to see because I like swear this is a real thing. Like I've definitely seen it in movies and like books and this or that. But I swear there are people out there. And if you know someone you're listening, DM us that like have had a proposal at someone's wedding.

Oh, I'm getting nods that Julie's saying she's seen it. That's disgusting. I would literally kill someone. Hold on. She's telling you a story. Oh. Okay, so like during a bouquet toss, they'll hand it strategically to somebody and then the guy will be behind them and then they'll turn around and he'll propose. I just, I don't.

I've seen that. Not at my wedding. No, no. I just like that in my opinion. There's just some very self-unaware people out there and they fit into that box like too well.

That is so silly like that I just I cannot handle that oh my gosh oh that makes me sad I'm sad for the bride and the groom also to like the that's where I want to like sit down with the bride to be like okay tell me do you just feel guilty and you said yes or do you generally don't care because if you generally don't care then like props to you but it could not be me.

Yeah, if you genuinely don't care, I think that's cool. I'm game for it, right? Because, like, you can do you. But the one that I think would be the most sad is if she didn't know. Now, that would be, like, there's, like, low-key a special place in hell for that person because that's just evil. It's, like, so, oh, yeah. You've got to let people have their special days. Exactly, especially because there's only, like, you can literally just wait until the next Saturday. Like, it doesn't have to be on that actual day.

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Terms apply. That's money. That's cash out. What do you feel about people that propose at large sporting events and like the cam, they do like the kiss cam on them and then they like pop down on a knee? I mean, you do you, but if Pete ever did that to me, I would strangle him. That is my biggest fear is like a large public proposal. What about you? Well, I think like, okay, so I do think

most of the time like their ideal proposal like hopefully that person has said like I would love to be engaged the jumbotron thing is really cool but for me I think that would be tough because it's such a

intimate, shocking, overwhelming moment that like sitting back down in the seats, sort of sharing it with strangers would be, that would be tough on me. Well, it'd also be awkward too. Cause it's like, what do you do once you sit back down and you just act like everything is fine or like, cause I feel like you want to like celebrate afterwards, but you just sit and watch the rest of the game. Yeah. You're just like sitting everyone like, and then you want to probably FaceTime people, but then you're, you know, at a sporting event.

Oh, how do you feel since going back to like a picture, if you saw a close friend, like a big moment for a close friend on social media before messaging you? And I mean like a close friend, not just like a second to your friend, like one of your close friends, like an engagement, baby. I don't know any other big events besides announcing a baby or getting engaged that you could really post on Instagram first.

I'm fine with it. I don't know that that would have always been my answer, but I just think in those moments, like it's not about me. So while I'd be like, oh, I wish they told me, I think I would just hop to like, you know what? Let me just call her right now or text her and be like, girl, I'm so happy for you. Yeah, that's very mature of you. I also agree. I'm trying to agree unless they're like,

Like, I guess if Madeline posted it, I think that's but that's never going to happen. So like, I guess like with, you know, like your other really close friends, of course, it shocks you. Yeah, but you're so right. It is. You know what? We need to be not you me like that's something I'm learning it with age. It's like it's about them, not about me. Let them just do what they need to do to be happy. That's I love that.

That is very mature. Do you know what I mean? Like, of course it stings. And then you think, oh my God, who did they tell? And they didn't tell me. And are we not that good of friends? Like all those things go through your head, but the best thing you can do is just like, it's not about you. It's really exciting for them. And so then we text them and we say, I love you. That's amazing. Blah, blah, blah. And they're probably, we're so excited that,

That they forgot. They truly forgot. Like there was probably no ill intent behind them not telling you. Oh my God, never. And that's the thing. I think, I truly think that's probably one of the greatest things we can learn in life to make ourselves more, have more of a peaceful life is understanding that other people's actions are about them and never others.

out to get us or like to be vindictive towards us like it's just them living their life and you just have to like let them live their life yeah it's not harmful like she didn't post that thinking oh I didn't tell her she posted it thinking like I didn't have enough time I didn't tell enough people I wish I could tell everybody I wish but I want to post it I love that which oh that brings me into wanting to ask you a question but it will totally deter or uh

What do you call it? Derail. Derail us from roses and thorns and everything, which I guess we could always come back to. Yeah, we'll come back to it. I think do it. Okay, so there's this like topic trending on TikTok. I was going to say Instagram for a second. There's this topic trending on TikTok right now about low maintenance friends. Have you seen any videos around that?

No. So there's videos. It's pretty much being like low maintenance friends are in like everyone should everyone should be a low maintenance friends like low maintenance friendships last the longest this or that. And I love that statement. Like I think low like low maintenance friendships are healthy because like you shouldn't expect so much from other people. But where I started to get a little iffy was when people were saying like

oh, I love my low maintenance friends. I'll go three months without talking to my friends and then we'll just pick up and get right back into it. And, or it was like, oh, I won't see my low maintenance friends or I won't text my low maintenance friends back or sorry, I won't text my friends back for three weeks and it's great. And if they don't, it's great. My friend will cancel on me last minute, whatever. I don't care. And like, that's where I kind of was like, I don't think that's a low maintenance friend. I think that's like

a bad friend because I feel like there's a fine divide of being alone made as friends where you like don't emotionally take from other people or like expect them to drop everything for you or pick up the phone every single day but I I think that's a big difference than like if your friend texts you like maybe text them back within at least like a couple days or like

Try to stay in touch with them more than once a month or don't bail on them last minute. I don't know. That's like where I got a little iffy between like, okay, now I think we need to decipher like the difference between low maintenance friends and just being a bad friend. Okay. I'm down to decipher it. I have not seen anything on it. So...

I'm the worst texter backer. Yes, you are. I am the worst ever. And I don't mean it mean, right? I saw this video yesterday and I really like, I think that there's so many different types of people and it's like in my head, I saw it. I thought, okay, I re I replied to it mentally. And then I was going to sit and do it. And like, I truly am so bad at it. I'm so bad at it. I don't, I, so on the texting back, um,

Very bad. But on the one where going a month, I, we got to check in. I don't love a month. A month is a lot. That's like, it's a really long time. Um, but I got to say this on the canceling thing. I had a friend on last Friday night, we were going to a happy hour and she's got two kids and it was, we were supposed to leave at seven and her and I were going to ride together. And at six o'clock she was just like,

I'm exhausted. The day has come. And I was just like, do you know, you can text me 20 minutes before and just say, I'm not picking you up. And like, I'll hop in the Uber and I'll go. And like,

That truly doesn't bother me. Would that bother you? It truly didn't bother me. So I think, and maybe this is double standard, but as soon as my friends have kids, all cards are off the table. You can cancel on me any time of day because I feel like that puts you in another category. Like your kids come first. You are busier than anyone without kids. Like your life is chaotic. Like I can't even imagine. Single-wise...

Like every once in a while, totally fine. Cause usually I'm in the same boat. I'm like, thank God. I love a cancellation. But if it was like, let's say we were planning on going to, I don't know, I guess something that would be harder to cancel on. So maybe it's like an event or like a, I'm trying to just, I'm trying to think that something that would be a bummer to be canceled on. Or if you did it all the time, like if you were that friend where I'm like all the time,

But I think you get like once every month. Like I don't mind if you cancel on me. I like that distinction. Like if you're always the canceler or like if you're like making plans but to the person you're making them with. Like if you and I were making plans a lot and you're always like really reserving the time on your calendar. But I'm like kind of. Yeah. It's like that's not fair because like we're both on the same page.

And so, like, to me, it was a suggestion to you. It was like a blocked out time. Yeah, like a one-sided friendship type of thing, it turns into. Yeah, I think that's a really good point. Like, I do think this low maintenance, it's very fascinating because I think there's no...

And then what's a friendship if we're both just always canceling, right? I really do see it, but I see what you're saying. Yeah, I was really thinking about it because I think we all have different tiers of friends, but the friends that we... We talk about seats at our table. Let's say we only have four seats at the table. I can't imagine...

not talking to those friends at least once a week, even if it's like a quick, like sending them a DM on Instagram or something. Like, I mean, totally right. Like if I even like, I think about Madeline and, and I'm sure, I'm sure it's different with Sydney. Cause like she's pregnant. You have a kid. Like, I can't even imagine what it's like once you have kids. But like, if I don't talk to Madeline for like two days, I'm like,

what's going on? And it's not like it's a, it's a conversation that like sucks anything out of us. It's like funny, like memes or like pictures or just like silly things. This, this will crack you up. This is okay. Here is my text messages with nugget. Oh yeah. Cause she has a newborn or a baby the same age as Tate.

Yeah, it's literally, hi, how are you? No response. Like, I'll say, hi, how are you? Okay, here we go. How's it going? Okay, I say, it's good, how are you? No response. Then I, a week later, hi. She says hi back. I don't reply. And then, okay, I send her a funny DM. She responds.

Um, and then this last night, no Friday. Hi. I said Friday. I say, hi, how's it going? She says, hi, good. I ripped my shirt. How are you? I say LMAO. That's it. Sunday. Happy Mother's Day. No response. Me Tuesday. How are you? Good. And then I don't reply. And then yesterday. Hi, I hope you had a good day. Like that is, I'm, that's like a true, a true mother with a new baby type of conversation. Yeah.

We cannot get past, Ty, how are you, for the past four weeks. But like, hey, at least you were saying something to each other more than every three months.

And that's what I'm saying. That to me is a low maintenance, like fringe friendship definition, because do you know why? It's also an energy match. It's like a phase of life match. So that's important. And then it's, uh, we're just throw like, I'm not throwing out all the highs. She's throwing out a lot of highs. And then we're just kind of saying hi to each other twice a week. And then that's, and that to me is good. If it was one of us was saying hi, hi, like,

That's not fair. Yeah, because I also think too, like I think about the friends that I talk to every three months, every six months. Like they aren't my like friends I'll go to when times get hard or like they're not like my core group of friends. And I just can't imagine not having like one or two people that you feel like a deep connection with that's a friend. Like that you have... You know what I mean? I'm like, do these people not have that? No, I think it's a really good point because...

I think like low maintenance friends I think okay I like this actually So you have your seats at your table They to me aren't really Your low maintenance friends by this definition Those are like the other people Yeah but like Yeah but the people on TikTok were pretty much Saying like all of their friends Should be like this and I was like I was like are we missing something Or are you guys forgetting to say like best friend Like are we missing A category that no one's talking about

Also like I love being like an understanding friend. Yeah. I like that. I don't love being like a love like man don't really care like I do care like we had a friend bail on us the other day not bail on us but she couldn't come like I was sad. I was like no I'll miss you because I want to hang out with you.

Yeah. And it's like, I don't want you to always be bailing. Cause like, I like you so much that I would like you to come. Exactly. Like I have one of my good friends in New York. She's like the most understanding low maintenance friend, but she's a friend that like, if something horrible happened, she'd be one of the first people I called. Like, cause we still have like a very strong connection, but she's, but she's like also very low maintenance and she's a great friend. Okay. That makes, when you just said that right there, like

In a sentence, she's one of the most understanding, low maintenance, but a great friend. What came to mind was like, she shows up to things. She's like, if, when you get a promotion, she texts you on your birthday. Like she brings flowers. She shows up early to the birthday dinner. Like that to me, but also if she needs to cancel, she gets like, she uses her cancellations. Everyone gets to cancel like life happens, but it's not all the time.

Exactly. Like to me, a high maintenance friend, I don't like these terms because like to me, a high maintenance friend is like that love bombing friend or like a friend who like sucks the energy out of you or it's like, oh, you told me about your day, my turn. Like, oh, it's your birthday. Well, my birthday's next week. Like the people who just like drain you.

So I don't know. I think we need to like rephrase all of these terms because the people on TikTok, I'm like, no, you're just describing being a bad friend or like copping out of being a good friend because you don't want to show up. I also can't help but think like for me, sometimes, okay, sometimes when I start to cancel, it's sort of tied to social anxiety, which my social anxiety is

is something I can work through. And I always know like when I'm reading more, I'm journaling, I'm meditating, I'm always less anxious. And it's almost like giving yourself a pass, like an excuse for those things. Does this make sense? Like, I think COVID actually caused a lot of this. Like, I think we all became friends in different ways and like isolated more X, Y, Z. And so now it's just like, we're low maintenance friends.

Where I think there's a difference. I don't really know exactly how to like, I'm not hitting this on the head, but like there's a difference between a low maintenance friend and a really understanding, kind friend. Yeah. I think we should change it from low maintenance to understanding. Yeah. And like, I see what you're saying with high maintenance. That's giving like guilt trip if you don't come. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Because like the, oh, I never see you. Or like, oh, you're always bailing. Like, no, no, no. No, I have things going on. Like, don't guilt trip me into coming. Because that's not fun. Because then you don't want to be there. That's not really a friendship. Yeah. I completely agree. And I also just made me sad, too, watching these videos. Because I was like, do you guys not have any... Like, is that where we're getting to with friendships? Where we, like, don't even have deeper... This one girl was, like, making the argument that...

you should never treat your friendships like serious relationships. And I'm like, to some degree, like they shouldn't be like your boyfriend, but also to some degree, you should like respect the people you have in your life. And I was like, are we getting to the point where we don't even like try to have intentional friendships anymore? It was just like bizarre. And I was like, maybe this is like a generational gap because being a millennial, I just feel like we don't, like the people around us that we have in our close circle, you know what maybe it is that our

that our generation is so much more okay with a few shiny quarters and $100 pennies where like the younger generations love just being able to say like, yeah, I have 10 friends, even though they're all crappy friends. Quick pause to talk about our sponsor, Splendid. You guys, let's be real. Life is busy between work, errands, kids, plans with friends. Who has the energy to overthink an outfit? I know I definitely do not.

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So right now, Splendid is offering our listeners 20% off when you go to Splendid.com and use promo code MEAN at checkout or when you shop at Splendid in stores. Yeah, that's a really good point. And they're just cool with... Maybe they don't require as much. I'm trying to see it from a...

Maybe they don't care. Maybe they truly don't care. I don't know. To me, I think we like need more meaningful friendships, but maybe like, cause to me, I always think the hundred pennies also equals like surface level. Yeah. Which like for me, I do need the deeper ones. So it's like, it's a really fascinating concept, low maintenance friends. Cause on one end, I really like it if it's like the understanding camp, but not like

Not there for you friends. That's where it's tough. Like I never want... I always want... I would love for my friends to consider me low maintenance, but I also want them to think of me as like the friend who will show up and who cares about them and their well-being. So... Totally agree. Like so well said. Yeah. I'm completely with you on that. This is a very fascinating concept because...

yeah I see it yeah especially the older you get right like then you don't have as much time so then you think about who do you allocate your time to and you want that person to be like a meaningful friend yeah exactly so just something I saw and I was like huh interesting I can't be the only one who thinks this is a little sketchy no it's really good what did the comments say a lot of people were on the side of like

low maintenance friends are the way to be and that's why I was like so confused because the majority were people leaning on like low maintenance friends like it's okay to cancel it's okay not to talk to someone for three months it's okay to like not text back for three weeks we love that and I was like couldn't be me yeah fascinating yeah maybe I'll get served some of these videos now and see them I hope so I know I don't even know what your for you page could look like

A lot of parenting. Yeah. A lot of that happening. Yeah, it's good. Learning a lot. Learning a lot on the FYP. Okay, what are your roses? Or do you want to just tell us about Hawaii? Yes, I can do that. I think we're all dying to hear. My rose and thorn is with... Like, my rose is Hawaii, but my thorn is the jet lag, which I wanted to talk about. So I guess I could just, like, talk about Hawaii as a whole. Yeah. So...

Hawaii was absolutely incredible. I went to Kona for the first portion. That's where my friend's wedding was. Beautiful. I think Kona is like a great place for people who want to like explore and hike and like see very authentic Hawaii. Like that's like I saw some of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Maui, I mean, you know, it was like my jaw was on the floor. One of my favorite places I've ever been to.

Really? Okay, so what did you love about it? So it reminded me a lot of Australia. Hawaii did, which I was expecting because that's what a lot of people say. But like I was a little shocked by how similar the vibe was, like how beautiful the water was. Like we did these hikes and I was like, this is very similar structure to Australia. It was just, I loved how beautiful everything was. Like driving in Maui, you're just on the coast the entire time.

And the food is great. The people there just are happier. And being around happy people makes you happy. It's just like my mood was at an 100 the entire time. Isn't that crazy? It's awesome when that happens, though. And also, Hawaii just doesn't feel like America. I kept saying to Pete, I don't want to go back to the States. I was like, wait, no, we are technically in the States. We're in America. Yeah.

It's unbelievable Okay so I love when a trip Like you think it's gonna be a 10 And then it is a 10 Like it is what you It's Is it Is it what you thought it would be Or was it better Better Like Um

I'm glad we did Kona first because I liked Maui better. So it was nice to end the trip on that. But Kona was really cool from just like being able to see Hawaii and its beauty. Because like we saw, we did more hiking there and saw more like famous landmarks that you just like don't see in the United States or you don't see in the other states. Yeah.

Of America. And Maui was definitely more commercialized, but it was still so pretty. And it's just like one of those places where I like, it's like hard to talk about because I'm like, there's just everything was so great. But the food and like the fish. Oh my God. Everything is just great.

So what was your top two favorite things you did? Maybe it's like a restaurant and an activity or something. Give us some takeaways. So in Maui, we did go to Mama's Fish House. Oh, yeah, yeah. What did you think? 20 out of 10.

What time of day did you go? So we got really lucky. We couldn't get a reservation, so we called the day before, and they had a 7.30 reservation open, so we got to go to dinner there. Oh, my God. I wish we would have gone when it was a little lighter because it's on the beach, and at 7.30, the sun had set. But...

That, that restaurant, the food, the vibe, it's like such a, it's kind of like Carbone, but on beach vibes. Agreed. Yes. It is the same vibe. People are very happy to be in there. Like they mean business. Yes. So that was great. Have you, did you ever go to monkey pod when you were in Maui? Yeah. Okay. Yes. Hold on. Let me Google it because not the, not the most recent time I went. They have famous Mai Tais there.

If that rings a bell. Yeah, let me. It does. Let me just get a photo. It's popped up. Okay, what about it? So you went there. So their Mai Tais were just like the most amazing thing I've ever had in my entire life. Yes, I've been there. Yes, yes, yes. How did a Mai Tai make you feel the next day? I don't think alcohol is a thing in Hawaii. I did not feel gross the next day once. I swear when you're by the ocean, alcohol hits different.

No, I do think that's a thing because you just wake up and there's something about it. You just are like, oh, I'm fine. And I was waking up at 5 a.m. because of the time difference. Which was what, 9 for you? 11 in America, or in New York. 11. Okay, that's so nice. What time were you going to bed? 8.30. Love it. Isn't it nice when you wake up early? Well, and that was the best part too. It's like we had the entire morning. We didn't feel rushed ever.

And it's... I mean, it's actually not that quiet in the morning because, like, everyone is in the same time zone. Yeah. Everyone's awake. But, like, I would say... So, I think that was, like, my favorite part of Maui was, like, Mama's Fish House. And I'm trying to think what else. It's, like, all blending together. But then in Kona...

One of my favorite things was seeing, I forgot what it's called, but it was like this bay and it was just like the most beautiful water I'd ever seen. And I saw a turtle. It was just so cool.

Oh, that's really nice. Yeah. Like, so you guys did a lot of hiking. We did a lot of, um, so we rented a car and we did a lot of like touring around. Like we only hiked twice, but other than that, we were always in the car, like driving to see the next scene, which I love because I hate sitting at one place for too long. So we would like stay at a beach for an hour, go to another beach, go to another beach. Um, like go and see this X, Y, Z, try this thing out. And it was, it was great.

Okay, and so then I saw you write something about like if you want to know if you love somebody or if you're compatible, go on a cross-country trip with them. Talk about that. So I would say...

I think we've talked about this multiple times in the podcast where it's like, if you want to know if you're compatible, someone just travel with them. But I think a bigger distinction is when you go on, like, I was going to say, like, in a broad trip. But in my opinion, Hawaii is kind of like a broad. It's a 12-hour flight. Like, it's a long travel thing. That will, like, truly show if you're compatible with someone because...

I mean, you see, you're up for like 24 hours. You see people at all time of the day and like pizza organized. And I feel like we just fit like a puzzle when it comes to traveling, like who takes care of this, who does this, who gets this. And it just like, we both were like, thank God we travel so well together because now since traveling is such like a large thing that we value, I'm like traveling just as exciting going forward. Oh yeah. That's really nice. So what, so yeah,

Who, who does what? Like, I mean, I will say like Pete does a lot, like, like a lot when it comes to traveling. Um, but like if for the first part of the, the first part of the trip, since it was my friend's wedding, like I booked the hotel and then he, he booked the rental car and like, I figured out how to get to the airport. And then like he booked the dinner reservations and it's just like, it was just like everything worked out.

perfectly and it was never like can you do more please can you like help with this it was just all like very equal which I appreciated because like I've traveled with friends before where I'm like I feel like I'm I'm holding like holding this trip up with my own two hands

Yeah, and some people I feel like prefer to do that. They're like, I want to book everything. I want to make the itinerary. But even for Napa, didn't he do it all? Yeah, because that's what I wanted for my birthday. I was like, I just want you to plan the whole thing because I hate planning my own trips. I like planning other things, but my own trips, it's just I put too much pressure on myself. But I think that's good to have divide and conquer, and then you feel like it's even balance. It's really nice. I know I've never been with someone who takes so much control with planning, and I absolutely love it.

Because, like I've said in the past, I've been the person who's like, got to get to the airport at this time. Got to do this. Got to do that. And I'm like, it's just so nice to be with. Also, it's so nice to be with a well-traveled person because I told him, I was like, it would be the biggest ick if we got to the airport and you didn't know what to do. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. That would be like so tough. Like, can you imagine if you're going to the airport and Harrison's like, well, how do we how do we check a bag? I'd be like, yeah.

I mean, that would be insane. I like don't want to be the point person on trips or the airport. No, not my. Some people want to be the point person. I don't. There was that trend forever ago where like the girl was like walking behind the guy, like not even paying attention. I would like to be that same. I will let me get to the airport when I want to get there. But after I get through TSA, I'm done. My work here is done.

Done. So how were the flights and how was the jet lag? Honestly, the flights weren't that bad. So when we went to Hawaii, we were on a 10-hour flight to Honolulu and then we had a layover and our next flight was like 45 minutes. Really not that bad. Good. I think once you like put your, when you like tell yourself like, okay, we're about to be on a 10-hour flight.

It's like your mind just kind of like knows what it's about to handle. But the flight back, I truly don't know what happened, but jet lag hit both Pete and I like a brick wall. So we took a red eye and we got home at 5.30 a.m. on Saturday, which I think was our problem. Like we shouldn't have taken a red eye. Did you sleep on the flight? Not really. Okay.

Okay. But the next day, so the next day was Mother's Day and we were meeting Pete's family for Mother's Day lunch. And we were like, oh, no, no big deal. Like, we'll leave the house at 1230. Like, obviously we'll be up by then. We slept till 1130 and we went to bed at 830. 15 hours. But then did that solve it? No, I would say I was back to normal. Today's like my first day where I feel like completely normal.

And it's Thursday. And he, does he? He is, yeah, he is also back to normal. But it's weird because going to Hawaii, I was like, perfect, good to go right away. Isn't that interesting? I wonder why. Do you get jet lagged?

Yes, I do. But I and it did hit me whenever mine hit me when I got to Hawaii, not on the way back, which is funny. But I I always try to operate on the time zone that I'm on like immediately. I try to just like hop to it. But I didn't take red eyes and red eyes. I took a red eye somewhere.

Was it to Paris? I can't remember, but I didn't sleep at all and it did a number on me. I think that was our problem. I don't, I, I will never do a red eye again. Cause I think if we would have landed at like 2 PM, I would have been fine. I would have stayed up, gone to bed at 9 PM, woke up the next day. But the, the, I was like, I can't even describe to you. I was like drugged for three days. I felt like.

yeah it's it not sleeping especially the older we get like you can't do it yeah no so that was hard but um yeah overall hawaii was amazing it's gonna be hard because i would love to go to the other islands but like i can't imagine going to hawaii without going to maui again oh really i've never been to any of the other islands either but i would like to explore them to know because i i'm just sure it's all beautiful wait you've only been to maui

Yeah, I mean, I like flew through Honolulu, but I've only been to Maui. I know. That's the thing. It's like I would really love to see Oahu and Honolulu. And also like I heard Kauai. Kauai, I think, is absolutely stunning. But it's like I can't go to. I mean, I guess you could island hop, but I would like to see more of Maui. I don't know. I just like it's also beautiful.

It's also beautiful. It's also like it's hard to get to, especially from New York. So it's kind of like you're picking between Europe and Hawaii, which is great. But I'm with you. Like, when am I going to go explore the other islands? I don't know. But one day, maybe. I know. I was thinking, I'm like, it's really weird. If we lived in California, going to Hawaii would be the same length as going to New York, which is so weird in my opinion. But I guess that's similar to us in London. Like going to L.A. can sometimes be six hours. Going to London is six hours. Yeah.

Yeah, it's true. How long is your Napa flight? It's going to be close to six hours because we're going to San Francisco. Yeah. So we like going to London. Guys, we have a free 60 day trial for Headspace because if you ever had this conversation, you meet somebody and they say, hey, how are you doing? And without thinking, you reply back. I'm good. How are you? Well, how about this? Let's actually mean that we're good. And a great way to do that is with Headspace because Headspace is

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be? You could be anywhere, anywhere. It could be all anywhere in the world. Uh, Oh, anywhere in the world. Oh, probably like if money wasn't a thing, probably Maui. We are like are obsessed with it. Oh really? You like, okay. Okay. That's good to know. What about you guys? No, it's a good, like, it's a good question. Cause Austin, there's like ranches on the outside of town. There's the lake in town, but there's no beach. But like,

I also love like Yellowstone, you know, vibes. So it's tough to, I love Carmel, but Carmel's not really like a Maui. So I've really been thinking about that. I'm like, where's my second favorite place? You know, like I love New York. I love Miami, but like, do I want to have,

A second. Do I just want to go there often? Like where would be my dream place? And I've been like thinking, you know, where's my favorite other spot? I don't know yet. I know. I'm surprised you and Harrison haven't done like a Wyoming or, or have you guys gone there together? No. And I think the reason is, is it's sort of similar. Like there's a lot of mountain vibes here that are super accessible and

And so whenever over the winter, like we went to Park City, which is like skiing, but not necessarily like the ranch vibe of Wyoming. Yeah. I want to do it one day. Just it doesn't make the top of the list because it's sort of similar ish to here. So wherever places I like crave going have like a real beach vibe.

Yes, I know. It is hard because being in Austin, you're landlocked. And it's like you don't know if you want to pick another landlocked state. You might want some. I could see you guys having a place in Miami.

You know where I really want to go is San Miguel de Allende. Like, I'm really into... I'm sorry, what? Like a... I want to go to, like, Mexico City. Well, what was the... What was the word? San Miguel de Allende. Isn't that what it is? That's... Don't quote me on that. But I'm pretty sure that's... I think that's... Yeah. Is that Mexico City? Or in Mexico City? I think they're right by each other. Aren't they? San Miguel and...

Mexico. Or sorry, I should say, is it in New Mexico? Since Mexico City isn't a state. Or are you talking about the country Mexico or the state? The country Mexico. Oh. Yeah, I think they're by each other. I think they're like the same. Is San Miguel... Oh, well, they're...

Okay, I mean, they're 150 miles apart. But I think you do both. Like, maybe fly into Mexico City, I don't know. But I want to go, because it's a real city in Mexico, and I think seeing that would be cool. A lot of people from Austin go there because it's one of our directs, and it's very close. I was going to ask you, how long of a flight is that? I think it's like an hour, maybe an hour and a half even. Oh my God. No, that'd be a long drive, because you'd have to drive down to the...

The end. Yeah, I think it'd be a long drive. But I like think and then I think about, well, then I would just go to Cabo because there's the beach. But I don't know. I think about this a lot. I'm like, because I would like to start going to some of the same places. Yeah. You know, like repeating them. That's what I struggle with. Like I I there's a lot of places that I really love. But I tell myself, I'm like, do I want to go to the same places or do I want to push myself to see other places that I haven't seen?

Right. Like, and then how often do I, how long do I want to spend doing that? Yeah. So I don't know. But speaking of Miami, how was Miami? It was great. It was so much fun. We went Monday through Thursday and just like whenever I go to Miami, what I used to do is I love going to the pool. Yeah. But I loved going to the beach this time because they had this like kid section and they have like shovels and like fake lobster things. And so that was really fun. Um, but it was good. It was just like relaxing and chill and

I just, I'm like you. I love the palm trees and you're just happy when you're there. But it's funny. I was thinking, I'm like, okay, can I live here? And it's like, no, because that would be hard. But like visiting is so great. Yeah. I mean, Miami's magical. It is so beautiful there. It's the best. The restaurants are fun. You can go to dinner late and everyone's like, the vibes are good. The food's good. Like it's a really cool city. And it's also too, it's like a, it's a city that,

I think a lot of people just assume like let's go clubbing but there's so much more to Miami if you like do your research like it's incredible food scene incredible shopping scene like art scene beaches like there's so much in the city you just have to do like a little bit more searching.

Yeah, and like little, like there's all these different pockets that are like heavily influenced by all the cultures that are there. And it's like really, it's really cool. So it was great. I was happy that we went. Tate in her little swimsuit on the beach. So cute. Oh my gosh. She's just like, she's just the little swimsuits are precious. I think like they're little. I forget. Did she touch like the actual beach when she went to Hawaii or was this her first time like sitting in the sand and playing with it?

She did but she couldn't sit up then So it was very It was cool being able to like set her in the sand And then she could play with the toys That was I think she had She like enjoyed it Because a lot when we were in Hawaii We like held her and dipped her little feet in the water But like she couldn't sit up Yeah The sitting up The sitting up phase is really fun Because you can sit her up Give her a toy and she can play with it I know So that's That's nice Did she go in the ocean?

Yes, she went in the ocean for, we mainly did the pool. She loves the swimming pool because it was like warm and controlled. But yeah, her little feet did a little dip. Oh, I love that. How was the weather? Like what's, how hot is it right there right now in Miami?

It was never like I overheated. I think that's like a hormone thing, though, and a breastfeeding thing that happened to me. Like I I had to get I mean, having to kind of do this lately, but I had to get like sugar and coconut water and like go take a cold shower and like lay in the room. And a lot of people were saying like that's also happened to them. But but it wasn't super hot. It was like 90. Interesting. That definitely has to be a hormonal thing then.

Yeah, I like couldn't I was like seeing stars and I was like, whoa, so then I would just go. But I think, yeah, it wasn't blazing hot because, you know, you I think a lot of people leave there in the summer. I think July, August, July, August, doesn't it get like 115? Yeah, like my parents are getting ready to leave Florida for the summer because they just like don't want to deal with how hot it is.

Yeah, yeah. It's so funny. I swear we were just doing New Year's resolutions and then here we are. No, literally. Like, it's... I'm confused that neck... Like, when people are listening to this episode, like, this coming weekend is Memorial Weekend. Oh. Yeah. No way. Yeah. The 23rd is Memorial Weekend. Isn't that insane? What are you doing? I'm going to Montauk. Fun! What are you gonna do? I don't know exactly what we're gonna do. I've never been there this early, but...

Montauk, Pete and I went there. So that's like Pete's favorite place. He's been going there since he was a kid. So him and I went last August. And it's just like one of those places that like is so – I mean, I said this about Maui, but like it's so magical for us. So I don't know. Probably just like chill. Not do anything crazy. That'll be so fun. Are you going to train? No, we're going to rent a car. Okay, I love that. I love that drive. Oh, that's great. I love the drive. It's so pretty to see the houses and like –

Oh, well, it's nice to have a car while you're there because the Ubers are really far away. So like having a car, it makes a big difference. Yeah. Do you know? I mean, I guess you might not know what you're doing because you didn't know it was Memorial weekend, but do you guys have plans? Maybe Harrison has something planned. No, I have no plans. I did not know it was Memorial Day weekend. And we keep meaning to like plan our summer. Like we need to go. We need to like leave here. It's going to get like really hot. We always said.

Oh, sorry. What? Well, we always said we would do house first and then, like, plan. And we just, like, haven't sat down and planned yet. I feel like you guys need to do a Hamptons. I know what the Hamptons are hard to get to for people who, like, don't live in New York proper. But, like, I feel like you guys need to do that because that's, like, a happy place for you. I know, but it's hard. It's hard to get tape.

far driving destinations. Like you kind of need to land and then be 30 minutes from where you're going or it's gets a little difficult, which is like funny to think about. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, unless like people own private jets, I don't know how people get to the Hamptons unless you fly into like LaGuardia or JFK and then you train, you take like the Amtrak or the LG Long Island LIR for three hours. Yeah.

Yeah, which I used to love. I used to love the LIR because I could just get on it, get your laptop, hanging out. But yeah, we'll figure out our travel. I don't know. Maybe I will go investigate what I'm going to do for Memorial Day weekend. Yeah. Also, speaking of weekends, how was your first Mother's Day? It was so fun. It was...

It was actually, like, kind of emotional because you're just, like, aw. Like, Mother's Day used to be really sweet, but now it's, like, so much sweeter. But it was good. Like, it was also just low-key. Like, all I wanted was this pair of tennis shoes that I was just, like, too lazy to order. And I have five pair, but I've worn them all so much that I need it. You know, like, it was...

It was low-key like that because all I really wanted was just to hang out with Harrison and Tate, and I did that, and so it was great. I was going to say, did you guys do anything, or was it just hanging out at home? I saw you made pancakes, which looked fire. We made pancakes. They were great. We went to brunch with the neighbors, and then past that, his mom came in town late that night, so we had dinner with her, and then we just like... Do you know what? I just wanted to organize. I've just been sort of organizing and...

Just doing that. Oh, do you have an update on your professional organizer?

So she came for round one and did my closet totally. And like, when I tell you, I, Harrison keeps joking. He's like, I can't find you cause you're standing in your closet. I just, cause like in New York, I didn't really have a closet. No. Right. You kind of have like, and so this closet, he had it at first because I didn't want it because I wanted to do hanging racks. And then I was like, I don't want to do that anymore. And so then we flip flopped and I,

I cannot tell you. Like, I never, like, really unpacked. And so it's just this weight lifted off of me. And, like, I'm loving my closet. I'm just standing in there. I'm assuming it's, like, a walk-in closet. Yeah, which is just, like, I'm like, wow, I have not had this probably in seven or eight years. Because, you know, in the Midwest, like, I grew up with a closet. Oh, every single apartment in Minnesota has a walk-in closet. Like, they don't make apartments without them anymore. Right.

You wouldn't live in them. And then whenever you moved to New York, you readjust your mindset and you say, okay, I'll live in this. And then when I moved here, I just, yeah, I don't know. I just keep going in there and just being like, wow, I did not know I had that shirt. That is so crazy. I remember one of the most satisfying feelings in the world was when I lived alone back in Minnesota, I had like a massive walk-in closet because I was in a one bedroom and it was, I think they made it for two people.

And I remember I had so much extra room in that closet and it was such a satisfying feeling not to have a stuffed closet. Because right now I don't have a walk-in closet. I have a very small closet. And I have to like push the hangers all the way over like really hard to like hang something up. And I'm like a stuffed closet is so stressful. It's so stressful. Like I didn't even remember what it was like to not have that. But you're right. All the apartments are.

Even this apartment I lived in in Oklahoma City, I'm thinking about had a giant closet. Yeah. I mean, all of my apartments in Minnesota, even my apartment in North Dakota in college had a walk-in closet. Oh, let me think about that. Yeah. My closets in college. Oh, I had a great one actually. Yeah. Wow. How about that? That's funny to think about. I remember my first apartment in New York didn't really have a closet and I think back to...

I'm like, how did I ever live like that? Like I had bins underneath my bed that I would like roll out because I didn't have a closet. Yeah, you just like adjust to your new normal, which is so funny. Like it's pretty crazy what we can do when you just like, this is your option. You're like, okay, I can work with that. Oh, a day I live in a house will be one of the best days. I am so excited to have a house one day. Oh yeah, I think you will just love it. You will be like sprawling out. Space.

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Yeah, I had food poisoning from our Mother's Day brunch, I think. And it was funny because like I went to this lunch on Monday. It was like this mom's grow happy lunch. And I like felt okay-ish there. And then I like got in the car to leave and I was just like, oh my gosh, like I could not function. And it took me out for like...

probably 16 hours but I did this is my rose I want have you watched clueless ever yeah of course this is like the titanic and the notebook of course I have a classic movie I had like this image the other day and it just like hit me and I don't remember what part of clueless it was and I was like I gotta watch that movie I haven't seen it in probably 20 years

And so when I was sick, I was like, I'm going to watch it. And I watched it and like, it's so much better than I remember. And I have, I've thought about it three or four times since then every day. And I'm just like, what a great movie. Like I was so happy. I watched it. Oh my gosh. I know my next one. Bring it on. I'm going to watch that next. Oh my God.

Those movies are incredible. They get worse as they go on, but the first with Kristen Dunst, incredible movies. They're so good. And the thing that's been happening to me is I had a Legally Blonde flash and I was like, okay, I'll watch it. And if I will actually watch what I want, I find the movie. I'm always like, it wasn't as good as I remember. And then I watch it and I'm like, it's better than I remember. They're making a Legally Blonde TV show.

Okay, I saw that. I thought that was really Reese Witherspoon posted it. Yeah. So and I thought that was a great cast by that girl. I know I saw it. I saw a video of when Reese told her in person that she got the role and it was like a very cute video, but I'm so excited to see it being turned into a TV show because I don't think they could remake the movie because the movie is perfect.

I do not think... And I'm happy they're doing a TV show because I think it would be... I think part of Elle Woods was Reese. Yeah. You know, like she needed to do it. So I'm happy. This girl, I think she nailed it on the casting. But I'm going to watch it. I can't wait. Same. You know, they don't... They really don't make movies like they used to because let me tell you, I watched Simple Favor 2. Did you see that yet? No. Turned it off.

It was so bad, Alex. I got secondhand embarrassment for a little for Anna Kendrick, but mainly for Blake Lively in that movie. But I didn't even care. I was like, you deserve to be embarrassed from this movie. Wait, why? Was the acting bad or just the movie was bad? So the storyline of... Are you ever going to watch it? Probably not. Okay. Do you remember the first movie? Yes. How she had like a twin? Yeah.

Yep. So the second movie is that she also has a triplet who comes back. Oh, come on. And Blake Lively, I will give her credit. Like, I think she's a good actress in this movie. I felt like her acting was so bad. It felt so like she it felt like she really wants to be this like bossy mean girl vibe energy where she wears these like crazy outfits. But like,

It seemed like she, like, was trying way too hard to play the role, but it also seemed like she was liking it too much. And also knowing everything I know about her now, I was like, I feel like this is how your true personality kind of is. And it was just, like, so cringy, so stupid. And, like, I, like, don't understand how they allowed this movie to get released. What are people saying? Oh, everyone's saying it's so bad. So stupid. Yeah.

Like, maybe I will, like, try to watch it to see. I want to know what they have on Anna Kendrick to get her to do this movie. And same with the main guy from season... Or from the first movie. Because the way... It's almost like... The way I think about it is, like, I know Blake helped direct or produce this movie. It's almost like she wanted everyone to look bad. So she just made everyone look stupid. Wow. I don't know. I unfortunately think that, like, that's...

probably like what she wants like no I don't think I I just think like I don't know enough about her directing and style and things like that but I don't think she has many credentials I think she just like thought she could be the director and it was like well hold on maybe what have you directed that like went like don't you think like a lot of times when they direct things they kind of earn their stripes yeah like her acting even was just so it just seemed so

Like the first movie, like I thought she played like a great role. I thought the first movie was like produced, directed very well. The second movie, I was just like, after a while, Pete was like, can we please turn this off? This is like really bad. And I was like, yes, I feel like this is like a very low budget movie. Wow. Okay. I might like sort of check it out lightly. You should. Also, did you hear the update with Blake and Taylor Swift? Yeah.

Tell me. No. So apparently, and I'm going to butcher this a little bit, but like from what I gathered in the video is that Blake wanted Taylor to like be on her side for the trial. But Taylor, what's that called? Testify. Right. Is that the word? Yeah. Did she go testify? No, she Taylor doesn't want to. So like Blake almost, I think in a way it's like blackmailing Taylor being like, if you don't do this for me, I'm going to expose like personal text messages between us.

Oh my God. What a nightmare. I'm like, Blake, like you're just, you are truly, I didn't think it could get worse, but you just keep making it worse. I mean, quit while you're ahead. Like what would be the point of like, you're like fear mongering. You're just like, if you don't do this, I'm going to do this. It's just like, for what? Also, it's sad because not only were her and Taylor best friends, but Taylor was, or is the God parent to I think two of her children.

It's just not, like, bearing well for you. Like, don't... Do not. Let me tell you what. It's bad right now. Don't make the Swifties mad. Literally, they're the one group I do not want to mess with. It's bad. It's already bad. That will make it so bad. Also, like, we can't believe you with these text messages. For all we know, like, no one's listening. Right. And also, too, it's like... I just, like...

I don't understand. Like, it truly makes me think that Blake is, like, a psycho, like, a serial killer. Like, she just, like, has no empathy and, like, is willing to literally throw her closest best friend under the bus and, like, just destroy her for her own... I don't even know what she's trying to gain at this point because I don't think there's any... There's a comeback for her. Yeah, like, you just want Taylor to go say something. Now, even if she says it, we know that you made her say it. And, like...

that's just not good territory come on like cut I can't believe this is still going on I can't either when's the trial it's like really it's in a very long time isn't it I thought it was like next March or May I felt like it was a 20 okay 6m month I think you're right I think it's March 2026 I do think you're right um that was reminding me of something oh I started watching White Lotus season one no season three did you watch season one and two

No, I don't know why. Oh, because Harrison did. And because Harrison did and he was starting three. And so I was like, I'll just hop in. Okay. What are your thoughts? I don't hate it. Okay. It's just my favorite. The most spunky character is the Patrick Schwarzenegger one. Like he's, he's just like, you're like, wait, what? Like he, that family is so just like jaw dropping. Um, it's a little slow. Like I do see what you're saying. Like I do keep waiting for,

on something to happen and like nothing crazy is happening. But it was good, like filler TV. Yeah. And I think too, starting, if I was just to watch White Lotus season three by itself, I would be like, that was a good show. But when you watch season one and two, you're going to be like, oh, wow. Like season one and two were so freaking good.

I believe that. And I think I will probably go back and watch them. Just when like I don't have anything else that I want to watch, I think it's really good. Yeah. Also, speaking of TV shows, did you see that Kim Kardashian is coming out with a new show? Like where she's the main character? Yes. I cannot wait to see. I'm so excited. I forgot the name. I have to look up the name. So there's this new show coming out called.

All's Fair. And it's like a pretty star-studded cast. Like Kim Kardashian is in it. Sarah Paulson. Glenn Coase. Naomi Watts. There's another really famous female character. Nancy Nash. I was shocked by how many big names are in it. The only information they give is...

the show follows successful divorce lawyers and the owners of an all-female law firm in Los Angeles. But it's from Ryan Murphy who did American Horror Story. So I think he like believes in Kim. But I'm like really excited to see her play this part because she did such a good job in American Horror Story playing like a boss-ass like publicist that I'm like you're going to play like a really good like boss lawyer. Yeah.

Okay, I'm looking these people up now because I didn't actually know who some of them were, but they are. It is a star-studded cast. It's a great cast. And so I saw them release, like I saw that it was released, but I didn't dig into what it is. I think that would be a great plot. I think that will be a great plot. I also like love that she's just like living this actress life now.

No, like you really got to give credit where credit's due, which is to these Kardashians. Like they are not taking their foot off the gas and like they're doing interesting things. Like Khloe's a podcaster now. Kim's an actress. Um, I mean, it's got a popcorn company. Yeah. Kylie's dating is in love with Timothee Chalamet. Like it's just, they're A-listers. And they're like, and they're like going to the Knicks games. They're like doing the A-list thing, right? They're like, they are A-listers and they're like capitalizing on it. And it's like,

A how fun but B how fun for us to get to watch like if anyone knows how to pivot it is the Kardashians they are so I love it I just like I love this new era of like okay we're gonna do stuff I do too and is it Khloe doing like a new show oh yeah the one with um I think Scott right the Calabasas show or something yeah

I mean, the Kardashians are booked. Oh, wait, no, they haven't. I was going to say the show. Oh, the show comes out fall 2025, which will be here before you know it. I'm pumped. Love it. I'm loving all of this. Oh, my God. They're like, I don't care what people say. The Kardashians know what's up. They 100% do. I'm like, I'm so here for it. Oh, my God. Should we get into our listener question? I didn't realize the time. Yeah, let's do it. I'll do listener question. Then we can do our Rex. Perfect.

Okay. Listener question. I am a 28 year old woman and my fiance, 33 year old male. And I recently split up after being together for four years. There was some red flags that didn't sit well with me and our future goals didn't quite align. I own a house that he is currently renting from me and he's hoping to buy it. I've since moved out.

I just found out that within two weeks of me moving out, he's already seeing someone new and letting her sleep over in my house. I feel extremely hurt and disrespected by his actions. He and I lived together for about three years and acted like a married couple. I'm really not trying not to become bitter as he's clearly showing me that he's not the right man for me. I'd love some advice on how to start over in your late twenties, getting back into dating and finding happiness and peace during this really difficult season of life. Um, I love this question. I feel like,

If I've learned anything from being broken up with or the breakup-y, it's that as soon as you cut ties with someone, you officially have to...

Not or what's the word I'm thinking of like you have to realize like that other person's life is none of your business anymore and you have to allow them to live their life how they want if they move on in a day. That's their business not yours anymore. If they move on in two years, that's their business not yours anymore. Like the moment you choose to break up you have lost all rights to their emotions and what they do and you don't get any say in their life.

Could not agree more. And so like not, yeah, you guys broke up. No big deal. And on the, your house thing. Okay. So what you're going to make a move out for what? Like you're, that's your ego. Yeah. And I hate to say it, but like sell them the house, wish them well with the girl. That's the big, like that is the most attractive thing. And the most, um, mature thing you can do just here's, here's how we're going to sell the house to you.

Good luck with the new girl. And you've got a big like karma on that. It's really positive. But spending energy like saying, I can't believe you're living in my house. That's wasted energy. That's energy at the wrong problem. I also think he's doing you a favor too, because I think like, yeah, it really hurts seeing your ex move on. But like also-

How freeing it is to know that like you don't have to worry about like the what ifs anymore. Okay, they moved on. They're not my person. Now I can like truly set myself free and find my person because like they obviously aren't mine if they found someone else. Yeah, in like two weeks, that's a really short time and I'm sure you have some questions, but like that's not your problem anymore. Onward and upward. That's where you're going. Exactly. So...

To give her advice on how to start over in her late 20s and get back into dating and to find peace and happiness, I think what you said is perfect. She needs to just let him go, let that situation go, sell him the house, move on. Because as soon as you remove yourself from that situation, you will feel so much more peace. And from a starting over standpoint, I think it's kind of like what we talked about in all the other episodes. It's like...

Pick up a new hobby. Go to a new workout class. Hang out with those girls you haven't seen in a while. Spend more time with your family. Start living the life that you want to live and less of the life that like you lived for your you and your partner.

Yeah, I'd like that. I really like that. Like pick your areas. Like what do you want to focus on? Fitness, reading, a hobby, your girlfriends, like you want to water a friendship or something, do that. And definitely don't think about the next person because the next person will find you whenever you're ready, which like you don't get to pick. So you just work on yourself and then

That's where the next person will find you is that while you're at your best version and that's really important. Yeah. And I think starting over doesn't need to be or doesn't need to look like getting in a new relationship just because your ex did. Starting over is just putting yourself first and like finding your happy life and finding yourself and loving yourself. And once you have all that, like you said, you'll find your person. Yeah. And 28 is young. So young. Like I had just met Pete at that time. Like,

Were you married at 28 still? Yeah. I don't even remember. Like, yeah. So like you hadn't even found Harrison yet or had Tate. Like think about how young you were at 28. I even felt young at 29. Like I still feel young actually. Say like, you know, I have a lot of friends who are my age, single, loving it. They're focusing on work.

And I think like it's, we had an episode on this, like reframing your like stage of life. And I think, think of this as a really good thing. Also too, you said it a few episodes ago, but it's like, take advantage of this time you have now. Cause you're not going to have that in the future. Yeah. And you just got yourself a lot of time. So like you really, maybe she starts a new job. Maybe she had a dream. She always wanted to do like, she can go do it. You could move anywhere you want. That's actually really cool. Like life sounds pretty great to me.

Yeah. Sell him that house and get on with it. Right. Move to your dream city. Hang out like travel the world. You do you. And be really nice to him. Don't be passive aggressive to him about this new girl. Exactly. Literally. Yeah. Take the upper hand. I think that's perfect.

Yeah, I like it. Okay, what are your recs? Okay, so I don't have any TV shows, but I did read a lot of books when I was away. These are all audio books. I'm having a weird reading slump with physical books, but I've been cruising through the audio books, and I have three. So the first one is The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren, and love it because they go to Maui, so it's just like a fun read. Oh, that's really fun. Yeah, it's a love story, enemies to lovers story.

I loved it. It was great. And then the next one is Meet Me at the Lake by Carly Fortune. Another really fun summer read. Like, it's about past lovers reconnecting. They're actually in Toronto. Or not Toronto. They're in a small town outside of Toronto. And it's just, like, a cute book. And then the next one I have is P.S. I Hate You. I think it's by Lauren Connelly. Another enemies to lovers, but it has some, like,

um, stronger topics built into it, like death and grief and finding yourself. And it's just, there's just like three good, easy reads that just like, I like was smiling when I was listening to. And I feel like that's like the perfect summer read. So we're okay. How long does it take you to do one of these on audio? Oh gosh. It depends on this, this, these were easier. Cause, um, I listened to a lot of it on the plane. Um, but like on a normal week, honestly, I

like three four days because I I listen to them like pretty much throughout the entire day like I'll have it on in the background it's kind of like the my podcast like it's just on in the background yeah okay that's awesome I like that they're like good recs they seem summer happy yeah they're like 10 hours but like you would be amazed how easy you can cruise through 10 hours if you just have it on in the background yeah I I've never tried an audiobook but I might try it one day you should I think that I would honestly think I would like it

Yeah, I just can't. It's hard because fiction, like these are all romance fiction. Right. So I don't know. I'm like, I don't know. A memoir on an audiobook might not be so great. You never know, though. There's some really good memoirs out there that are audiobooks. I know. I would have loved to have listened to Green Lights by Matthew McConaughey because he read it and it's just like, wow, that's a great voice. Yes, that's on my list.

Okay. Mine is build the life you want. And I bought it in the airport because I forgot my book on the way to Miami and Oprah co-wrote it with the guy who studies happiness and he studies like the science, like your brain firing and like,

it's, it's a phenomenal book because he studies, he's like, he studied happiness at Harvard. And like, he's telling you how the, your neurons fire and ways like categories of happiness. And he's not, he's not saying be 100% happy all the time because it's impossible. He's just explaining to you things that can help you. And so it's just a really like good feel good book that makes you think. And so I, I've been like loving it. I love that. His name looks like it's Arthur C. Brooks.

Yes, that's him, yes. Oh, I love that. And you're physically reading it? Physically reading it. Yeah, so maybe you could do that audio. I love self-help audio books. Yeah, I could do that audio, actually. When I read Think Like a Monk, I did audio and it was Jay reading it. That's what I usually love about self-help and memoirs. It's like the author reading it. So it's fun to hear their voice. Yeah, which I would like. And it's just... Yeah, I should try it. I might actually try it. It's a good idea. Yeah, I mean...

It might be hard. Like, I mean, I can't imagine, like, being a mom and trying to do that. Like, because this is, like, with Pete around, I can't even listen to my audio book. So, like, I have to be, like, literally alone to be listening to anything. It might be good, actually, to play them out loud, though. Yeah, that's true. As long as they're not, like, mine are all, like, smutty. Yeah. Mine would be safe. They would be safe. Yes.

Okay, well, great episode. I'm glad we got to catch up. I'm glad Hawaii was so fun. I know, and I'm glad you had a great Mother's Day in Miami. It was fun. And back to our regular scheduled program. We love you guys. Yes, hope you guys have a great rest of your...

and we'll talk to you next Monday. I'm Alex Bennett. And I'm Jordan Woodruff. So AB, do what you do best. If you enjoyed the show, don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Stay connected with us on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and Snapchat at at MeanGirlPod. Podcast plus social artwork and post-production by Creative Evolution Studios. MeanGirlPod, we're your besties in your ear. New episodes every Monday.