Sleep deprived, smutty books & making new friends
01:12:03 Share

Tax day is always a pain. Next year could be a nightmare. If Congress fails to extend Trump's tax cuts, middle class families will get hit with a huge tax increase. That means less money for groceries, less money to pay your mortgage, less money for school supplies, and less money for family vacations.

A $1,500 tax increase? That's enough to give families the cold sweats. Avoid the nightmare. Save Trump's tax cuts. Learn more at protectprosperity.com. Paid for by Americans for Prosperity.

We were just newly dating and he was like, what were you listening to? And I was like, nothing.

Have you had the Oreo Diet Coke?

Um, no, wait, I see your Diet Coke and it sparked my thoughts. I, yes, I have had the Oreo Diet Coke, but it was a long time ago. It was like maybe three or four months ago. I love it. Really? Yeah.

Yeah, like not every day, right? But there's, and I don't want the whole thing, but there is a time and a place for it. And I'll have, I'll have definitely have like a half of it. Oh, it's so, it's so sweet, but I love it. There is a new Dr. Pepper flavor. It's like maybe grape Dr. Pepper, some funky flavor I wanted to pick up. I was like, no. Yeah, got to drink my caffeine free Diet Coke. Oh, yours is caffeine free? Mm-hmm.

Oh, is it gold? Yeah. Oh, I can't. That's so funny. That is so funny. Like, I would swear on my life that that is a silver label. Really? I wonder if it's because it's so far from, like, your vision. Like, you can't see it properly, so the reflection's weird. Oh, my gosh. That's so funny. I wonder if anybody else on YouTube sees what I see. It's like that dress. Remember when they would have the gold and the silver dress, and they'd be like, what color do you see? Yes. Also, we're matching today with our blue-on-blue dress.

Okay, something's weird with the camera because I would think you're wearing white. Are you serious? Yeah, that's so funny, but I am wearing blue. Wait, I'm wearing the exact same color as you. No way. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yours looks like a, like a, I would say a white with a gray. What color does my water bottle look like? Um, orange and purple. Okay, that's accurate because this is like really bright.

Okay, but it looks very muted to me. I would call that a pale orange. That is so funny. Yeah, no, I am. I mean, I know I'm wearing like the exact same color as you. That's so funny. That is so weird. How is life going? Oh, it is great. I it's so funny. We're recording so much earlier today, but I feel like it's five o'clock. I don't know why. Why are you drinking a caffeine diet free Diet Coke?

I, so I drink a lot of caffeine in the morning. I, so I don't really like to drink too much throughout the day because I don't want it to affect me. I don't know. I just, it wouldn't affect me because I, I can sleep somewhat okay, which I'll talk about that later because that's one of my thorns. But I don't know. I drink pre-workout and coffee in the morning and I just feel like that's probably enough.

What's going on with your pre-workout? What about it? Well, is it like super caffeinated? Is it like a powder you put in the water? Yeah, so I actually use Alani News. No, not Alani. Oh, really? Is it Alani New or is it Aminoline? Aminoline. Aminoline.

Okay. Wait. Sorry. Both are brands, but I don't know. Okay. I just had like a massive brain fart. I have used Alani Nu, but I use Aminoline because it's cheaper. And it's like 200 milligrams for a serving. Whoa. You get like so much caffeine in the morning. And then on top of that, I'll come home and drink a cup of coffee or two, which will be like another 200 to 300 milligrams. And by like 10 o'clock, I'm...

at a thousand mil or past 500 milligrams. And I'm like, I need to just chill, but I just do like the powder, put it in like a little cup and chug it and then go to the gym.

Okay. So you do a small cup and swig it. Okay. The only time I've ever taken pre-workout, my like skin was itching and I was like, had to like sprint to get it out of my system. I wanted to like run away from my body. That's why I like Aminoline because it doesn't make me itch. I used to take C4 in college and my entire body felt like it was on fire. I'd be like, this is so uncomfortable. Yeah. Like what is in that stuff? You know that? I don't know.

What's creatine? People take that. So creatine is what men and women, but I think women just started taking it more recently because there was this stigma that it made you gain weight. But essentially, men take it to help gain muscle. It's more of like this water weight that kind of attaches to your muscle, but any man will take it to enhance muscle growth, essentially. Yeah.

Oh, so creatine dudes. Welcome to Andrew Huberman. Really? Is this Huberman Labs? I know. We're all talking about working out, pre-workout today. But no, Pete takes it. My brother takes it. Also, there was a new study that creatine is supposed to help with your brain, so my dad started taking it. I guess it's really good for you.

Okay. I see it everywhere. I knew it was all the buzz. I wasn't sure, though. Yeah, I've taken pre-workout for so long, going back to that, that I don't even know if it does anything to me anymore now that I think of it. It's just like a reflex. I do it in the morning, but I feel like my body's immune to it at this point. I do think that we become immune to things. Yeah, but Aminoline and Alani-Nu. Alani-Nu is great. It's just a little pricey. It's like $40 for a thing.

Oh, yeah. So you're like, that's not worth it. Yeah. But yeah, what's going on in your life? Well, my thorn is... I wonder what your thorn is because I think ours is both has to do with sleep. And...

My thorn is we're going through a sleep regression, which is normal. And I like thought I was going to lose my mind. Like I couldn't focus on Monday, but I've had two nights of really good sleep since then. So I'm feeling so much better. But my thorn was just the sleep patterns. I never understood what waking up in the middle of the night does to you.

so many times, right? And like not going back, like sleep is so important now at this age. It didn't used to be so important to me. I could operate on five hours of sleep and I would be fine, but I no longer can. And I've noticed like I don't function nearly as well if I don't get good sleep. And so that makes me feel older, but nonetheless, um, but my rose is Harrison really took like

the brunt, I guess you could say of that these past two nights. Cause like we both used to wake up because we didn't know how to handle it. Like her sleep regression. We were like, what, like, how do we want to handle it? Do we want to let her cry it out? Do we want to go in there and soothe her? Do we want to help her move positions? Like there's so many different options. And so we were both like up in the middle of the night. And then I told him two days ago, I was like, I actually feel like I'm going to lose my mind. And he was like, Oh, let's prioritize your sleep. And so he like shut the door to our room, turned on my sound machine and

And when she wakes up, he'll go sleep in the guest bedroom and like monitor her. And so that's been, that's my rose because he like gave me two nights of like 10 hours of sleep. So I feel like my brain got a massage. That is so nice. I don't know if I've ever been someone who can last on a few hours of sleep, but I genuinely don't understand how some people can truly function on three hours of sleep. Like my mom,

five hours of sleep every night and she's fine. If I don't have at least seven hours, I don't know how to speak the next day. I know I'm the same way. And I remember my mom too, like growing up, she could get four to five hours of sleep and be fine. I do wonder if we'll get there. I don't know. Cause I feel like it's getting worse with age. Unless like this point in our life, like I felt like I could,

last on little sleep when I was younger and then over the past couple years I'm like no I need a full eight hours so I wonder if it will like go back up

Guys, there's nothing more important than good credit, especially as we begin our adult journey, which many of you, our listeners are. So we've got you one month free on the Ava app, because here's the thing when it comes to credit and with interest rates being high right now, if you have good credit, it can really help you. And you've got your car payments. Maybe you've got your house payments. You've got your credit card payments. And if you let those things pile up over time, your credit gets worse and that can haunt you later in life.

And this is the thing. When's the last time you thought about your credit score? Is the answer never? If so, you're not alone. Don't worry about it. But here's the good thing. A good score means better rates, lower payments and bigger opportunities. And that's where Ava comes in. Ava is a credit building app that makes it super simple to improve your credit fast so you can get better rates on loans, pay off debt faster and keep money in your pocket.

Instead of waiting months for a secured card, Ava is instantaneous. It's simple, affordable, and it really works, you guys. So download the Ava app, spelled A-V-A today. And when you're joining, use our promo code MEANGIRL, and you'll get your first month free. This is only for our listeners. Get the Ava app and use promo code MEANGIRL to get your first month free. That's promo code MEANGIRL. Thanks to Ava.

You can now go get yourself good credit. I think that it will because I think like right now, okay, so somebody commented this and it was genius, but it was like she, wait, this doesn't actually make sense. I think what they said though was when they're learning more, they need more sleep.

Which makes sense, like babies. So when they're learning new things or like learning how to roll over or maybe like trying to talk, they need more sleep because their brains need more rest so they can develop, I guess. So for us though, I think like,

The more we're doing, maybe the more sleep we need. But then I don't know if there's actually no correlation. But all I'm thinking about is, okay, so the older your kids get, right, when they're like 15 and 16 and 17, like, yeah, I'm sure you're still like worrying a lot. But you're not there like they can feed themselves. They can take care of themselves. They can go to volleyball practice and back. So maybe we're not as moms. They're not in like such overdrive. So maybe they don't need as much sleep then.

Yeah, I don't know. I've just always been really worried about the only thing that's like really worried about worried me about being a mom is the lack of sleep I'll get because I am just a puddle. Like I can't I I like literally cannot function. I can't talk. My brain doesn't work. I don't know what like two plus two is if I don't get at least seven hours of sleep.

I used to think this whole like sleep is important thing was really stupid when I was like 24. I was like, right, I'll be fine. And then the older I get, I'm like, I actually won't be. And it's like a good night's sleep is the best thing on the planet. But I mean, like even when we were in our prime traveling days, when we first started the podcast, I could last on four hours of sleep. And that was like two, three years ago. But now I'm just like, I can't do it.

I know. I know. I do hear you. And like one, yeah, I'm just with you. It's it. I noticed, I literally noticed a difference in like my cognitive skills. Yeah. It's rough. Like for my thorn is also around sleep because, okay, so I've lived in this new apartment. I don't know, maybe like, I think it's been like two months, but it is the first place that I'm having a little bit of a harder time sleeping in like ever since I got on my,

my anxiety medication I slept like rock like I could sleep any time of the day all day every day if I wanted to but living in this apartment I am having a lot of sleepless not sleepless nights I'm having a lot of nights where I need to take like melatonin or like a let me sleep before I go to bed because I like lay down in my head it just goes and I'll like wake up and I used to be like I sleep great every night but I'm like no I'm not sleeping good anymore you know

When I lived in New York, I had to take melatonin every night to go to bed. I don't take any sleeping meds anymore. That's really funny that I was going to say maybe it's New York because like the city, knowing the city never shut off, I was never able to shut off.

But it's weird because you did sleep really well and now you don't. I wonder what that is. I think. Does your apartment feel calm? I think it's the feng shui of the room because there's a few. So there's a few theories I have. One, you're not supposed to sleep with a mirror next to your head. And there's a mirror on the back of the closet that's like built into the door so I can't remove it. And it's right next to my head. And I feel like that like subconsciously messes with my feng shui. Yeah.

And then also I work in my room now. Like before I used to work in my closet essentially, but now I record all my videos in my bedroom and I wonder if my brain can't differentiate the place of work and my place of sleep. No question. I've always thought that that-

That that makes a massive difference. Like you're supposed to make your bedroom the sanctuary, right? Which is like when you go in there, you're not allowed to work type thing. So that I think that is very fascinating. It could be that. Yeah. Like I used to, I mean, I,

ever since COVID, I've had a desk in my bedroom. And I hate that COVID got us in the habit of having desks in our bedroom. But now I think like when I live in a house one day, I don't want there to be anything but my bed in that room. Like I don't even know if I want a TV in the bedroom because I want it to be such a sanctuary of sleep. We just decided like yesterday we're going to do no TV in the bedroom too because-

It's just you should watch. And I want Tate to realize this too, but like you watch TV in the main room with everyone. And then when you go in your bedroom, it's no electronic time. Yes. Like I, Pete hates watching TV in the bedroom. So we never do because he is so like my,

My body won't be able to differentiate sleep or like if it's time to go to bed or if we're just watching TV. So we never really do. And now that we don't, I'm like, I just don't think we should ever have a TV in the bedroom. I agree. And I also... Do you watch shows on your laptop? Not anymore. I watch shows...

I mean, the only place I watch show is if I'm at the gym, I'll watch on my phone. And then at home, I watch it on the TV. But pre-living with P, I always watch shows on my laptop because I didn't have a TV in my room. Yeah, I do just like doing that, like in the pinch if you really want to. I just watch it on my phone these days, actually, because I get up and walk around. Like, I haven't put a movie on the TV in forever. But yeah, I'm with you. I think that it's really nice to do. Yeah.

No TV in the bedroom. Yeah. I was so weird when I was in Minnesota. I had a TV in my bedroom, but I would still watch TV on my laptop. I think it was because I was so used to college that I was like, oh, it's just easier this way because I can just close my laptop. But I literally had a TV in my bedroom in Minnesota, but I was like, nah, I'm going to watch on my laptop instead. I'll do that too, though. I'll just be like, no, I don't know why. That's like such a weird...

I think it's also because you can stay mobile with it. Like you literally go in the bathroom if you wanted to wash your face and like take your laptop with you, which I find nice. Oh yeah. That's me on my phone. I just stick my octopody to like the mirror and I just watch TikTok or my TV while I like do my skincare. It's great. I think, I think about that all the time. You saying that I pump now whenever I do my skincare because it's like two birds, one stone.

but I don't have an Octabuddy on this current phone case, but I need to get one because I used to love to stick my phone everywhere. I need to get a new one because I, so what I like to do when I shower is stick my Octabuddy to the shower, the side of the shower and listen to my audio books. But this Octabuddy has fallen and you would think I would understand by now it just doesn't stick. It's fallen so many times in my shower that my, my, um,

My screen is cracked. Like water's gotten on it. I'm just like, I really got to figure out a new phone situation. I'm surprised you can put your phone in the shower. Well, it's like tile. So I just stick the Octabody to the tile away from. No, I'm saying like, what is, are you not getting like water steam damage?

I'm a speaker. I probably am, but I know they're waterproof now. I know technically they're waterproof, but I tried that in Mexico. I put my phone underwater and tried to take an underwater photo and it never recovered. They say you can do that. They sell you on their waterproof. Now they're not, but I've washed my AirPods and those were waterproof. Those were fine. They were totally fine. You're joking. You took your phone underwater and tried taking a picture. They said, they, they say you can technically do that. Yeah.

not for long. And I did. I like went right under, snapped a photo, came back up and like you, this was a while. This was like probably two or three phones ago, but yeah, you can't play like my speaker playing music out loud. No more speaker phone doesn't work anymore. I mean, this one does, but that is so funny. Yeah. I, I truly don't trust that phones are, are waterproof. Like this dropped in the shower and it was in the water for like two seconds and I probably damaged it, but.

Yeah. So I do think one day they'll be like super waterproof. Oh yeah. I hope so because I mean this thing I can't take. Unfortunately like I'm so addicted to my audio books that I can't take this phone without it playing my audio book anywhere. Like it's by the sink. It's by the the wall like my shower. It's by what I'm doing the dishes. It's just like always near water.

Do you put headphones in or do you play it out loud? It depends. If Pete's home, I'll put headphones in. But if I'm home alone, I'll play it out loud unless it's like a spicy book. I'll put headphones in because I'm like, I don't need my neighbors wondering what I'm listening to. I saw this video yesterday of this guy like...

He put his headphones on, but it sunk to his wife's phone. And she was listening to like a steamy audio book. And so like he got the audio book and was like, what on earth? And I thought that was so funny. I was like, oh, that's a good one. When I first met Pete, I don't know if I've told this story. Not when I first met Pete. When Pete and I first started dating and I would stay at his apartment in Stanford and

I don't know why I did this, but I would stick my phone on his shower and listen to my audio books when I was showering. And I was listening to ACOTAR and the people who know ACOTAR, they know it's a very smutty, spicy book. And there was a time where like a sex scene was happening. And I was like, oh my God, I have to like, I was like freaking out because we weren't comfortable enough. Also, like I don't need him hearing like my ear porn, but I like, we were just newly dating and he was like, what were you listening to? And I was like, nothing.

Don't worry about it. But yeah, like if my neighbors could hear what I listen to, they'd be like, is she good? Like, what is her deal?

I like didn't know what was going on in ACOTAR. I like still don't, but it is funny. You see so many people reading it and it's funny now that you've called it ear porn. Oh, it truly is. It's what introduced me to like smutty books. And now I love, like I love it. I have to have like the perfect balance of smut and plot because like sometimes books are too smutty and then it's just like obnoxious. You're like, okay, I only can take so much.

Like playing in your ear. But when it has like a really good plot line, a really good plot, and then like the perfect amount of like romance and smut, it's just like the perfect recipe, which is one of my recs actually for the week. I saw that that was your rec. But let me, so remember when Fifty Shades of Grey came out? Yeah. Yeah.

remember I don't know at least from my memory like reading that was like oh she's reading Fifty Shades of Grey and I remember on a on an airplane I had a friend and she was reading it she's like I just wish I had like a different cover on this so nobody knew I was reading it is Fifty Shades of Grey the equivalent to ACOTAR and like is that stigma gone are they totally different or like what's the deal I feel like that's two things one the stigma is more so gone like I feel like

When that came out, that was kind of the introduction to women reading smutty books. And also BookTok has really allowed people to understand, like, we love reading. Like, people have, like...

weird kinks with books even like there's just so much to different types of books out there that people read and it's more acceptable but I feel like Fifty Shades of Grey it's known as like a sex book like a dominatrix book or a dom and a sub book but ACOTAR is a actual fantasy book with a major plot that's like so freaking well written with like smut thrown in it like

Like, ACOTAR is insanely written. Like, I don't understand how Sarah J. Maas was smart enough to write that book because it was so incredibly done. So I don't think people think smut first when they see ACOTAR. Guys, we have 63 days of the Headspace app, which is more important now than ever. Meditating.

being honest with yourself, getting silent. And because if you ever had a conversation with a friend and you've said, hey, how are you? And then you say back, good, how are you? But don't you really want to mean that you're good? Because we all say it, but who actually means it? And that's where Headspace comes in. Headspace is an app that helps us and 100 million people with their mental health and well-being work.

with guided meditations, mindfulness practices, breathing and calming exercises, and so much more. It's reducing stress for all of us. It's boosting our minds and it's helping us sleep better. You guys, I have been meditating ever since the middle of COVID and it's the one time of day where I really can hear my honest, true thoughts. When somebody asks me something and I don't know the answer to it,

And it's kind of a big question, right? Whether you're moving, whether you want a new job, you just say, hold on. And then the way that I talk to my true inner self is by meditating. And so if you're a total newbie or if you've been meditating for years, there's always content on the Headspace app that you can access.

Whenever you use it, it feels like it's made just for you. So feel good and mean it when you say it. For a limited time, get Headspace for free for 60 days. Go to headspace.com slash mean girl. That's H-E-A-D-S-P-A-C-E dot com slash mean girl to unlock all of Headspace for free for 60 days. Headspace.com slash mean girl. Oh!

Oh, okay. Good explanation. So it's basically a fantasy world. Is it sort of like Game of Thrones? Like people were obsessed with Game of Thrones and it was this fantasy world and there was the character. Okay, so that's kind of the ACOTAR equivalent more so. Okay. Yeah. I love that. It's like a whole universe. There's like fairies and...

Or they call them Fae. Hi, Fae. But yeah, it's like humans and non-humans and it's just a wild world. But we're like Fifty Shades of Grey. Everyone's like, okay, you're just reading about sex. Okay, got it. Okay, that really solves that for me. Thank you. Have you said your rose yet?

No, my rose is I... I'm so excited. Pete and I officially booked our... So I'm going to Hawaii for one of my best friends from Minnesota's wedding. And we just finished booking everything. And I'm so excited because I've never been to Hawaii. Wait, is that not next week? No, this isn't until May. What's next week? Um...

Nothing is next Weekend I'm going to Florida to babysit LZ Elroy Maybe that's what it is I was just Oh no okay I see J-Dub in Hawaii Cause you like actually put your trips on the calendar And I was just seeing one the other day Because I was looking at something And I was like oh she's gone Oh because I was thinking about going to Miami that week And I saw you were gone so I thought maybe I'll go But I thought that was Okay I had my weeks confused So you officially got Hawaii booked What all did you book? Are we talking hotels or like

or what? So like, so what we're doing is we're going to the big Island for my friend's wedding. And then we're going to go to, we decided we're going to do Maui for a little vacation. Cause when you take a 12 hour flight, you can't just fly home after four days.

Cannot. I would be very mad if you did that. And you've been to Maui, right? Or where'd you go with Harrison's family? I've been to Maui a good amount of times. I love Maui. Where'd you go with his family, though, recently? Maui. Oh, okay. So we booked our hotels and everything and restaurants, but we just like...

The rental car, I feel like... Like, Pete and I aren't people who book a full itinerary, which I know sounds crazy because I am a very, like, organized anal person. But we're the people who, when we have a trip, we just book a couple dinner reservations and kind of just play the day by ear. So we have just all of that booked and the hotels and the flights and the rental cars. And it's just like...

Oh, it's going to be so, it's going to be so nice. Like, but I think Maui is a really good place to do that. And because like wherever you're staying, like that's, you just want to wake up and hang out there. Right. I'm so excited. Like I have. So it was funny. Pete and I were watching a movie that the couple was in Hawaii. And I was like, this looks so much like Australia. It's insane. And it shocked me because he pictured Australia as like a desert place, which.

Not sure why. But I was like, I feel like Hawaii and Australia are going to have a lot of similarities. And I'm so excited because Australia is the most beautiful place I've ever seen. So I think Hawaii is truly like you don't believe it's America. It's really beautiful like that. And I'm glad you're going to Maui. It's so worth it once you're over there to just like stay over there. I know. I am a little anxious about the 12-hour flight because...

Like when I went to Australia, that flight, I think I was on that flight for 16 hours because like I've said in previous episodes, the flight, one of the flight attendants hit her head. So there was like an emergency. So we had to just like sit on the tarmac for so long, but it was an overnight flight. So I slept a lot of it. It went by so fast, but the flight to Honolulu, cause that's like where we fly and then we'll take a little flight to the island and

We leave at 8.30 a.m. So I'm like, there's no way I'm going to be able to even nap at 8.30 a.m. And if I do, it's going to be for an hour. So you land at what? Like early? Like 11.30? Yes. I think we... Yeah. Actually, I think we land like at 11.30. I just did quick. But I...

So then you have to stay up the whole day. Yeah. And I like also the whole flight. Cause I'm like, what do you, cause I remember when I went to Italy going there was easy cause it was an overnight flight, but going back, it was an afternoon and that was like the longest flight of my entire life. And that was like seven hours. Yeah. Well, it's funny though. It's by the way, the Honolulu airport is all outside and it's like really cool because you'll like connect there when we just did the same flight. Like we flew into Honolulu and then we connected to Maui. Um, but well, you took the 12 hour flight.

Well, it wasn't... No, my flight was not 12 hours. Oh. Oh, because you're from Austin. It's closer. Yeah, I think my flight was like six or seven hours. But...

What was I going to say about the flight? Oh, the time zone. Okay, so then we started going to bed really early and getting up before the sunrise and like going on walks and stuff. And it was really nice. Like that'll be your plan too probably. And I like that kind of vacation. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. What is the time difference? Like six hours? Probably, give or take. For you? Yeah. Is it three? I don't know if it's three or four off of...

I don't know I think it was six for here Maybe it's seven for you I don't know And they're ahead of us right Well they're behind They're behind LA Oh Oh weird Okay so it's similar to Australia Okay Like you go And it could be like a whole day Different day You'll be It's New York is six hours ahead of Hawaii Is what P is saying Okay so six So it's five for me So six for you So yeah you'll go to bed early And wake up early Okay

Sorry, my pop just went up my mouth or my nose. That makes sense because when we fly home, we leave Friday, but we get home Saturday because of the big time difference. Was it a Friday night flight? Yeah, we did like I think our flight. Well, so it leaves at 12 p.m. in Hawaii, but we get home at like 5 a.m. in New York or something.

Oh my gosh, okay. Well, at least that's not a Sunday night though. It's a Friday. So I always think if I want to be like messed up sleeping wise, I want it to be on the weekend. Yeah, I told Pete, I was like, I mean, whatever. I'd much rather do that and we can just go home and like lay in bed all day. That's fine. But I'm excited. Are you going to?

Sorry, what? Are you going to Mama's Fish House? That's on our bucket list, but obviously all the reservations are taken, so we're going to try to keep looking and call when we get there because every single person has said you have to go.

You do it. You have to go. You have to go. But you have to have a reservation. But it's... And I had been a long time ago. And then we went again with Harrison's sister and brother-in-law. And I was like, this confirms it's as good as I remember. So I do hope you can get on. What is it known for? Like, is it fast casual? Is it like fancy? No. It's sit down. Google Mama Fish House Cuisine. It's...

Oh my God. Julie says they have chocolate mousse dessert and an oyster. They're famous for their Mai Tais. I know that too. It's a type of cuisine. Hold on. I just want to see. It's...

What kind of food is it? It's not island. There's a name for it, though. It's some kind of like Polynesian. I knew it was a P. I was like, what is it? Polynesian food. Oh, yum. Okay, I'm pumped. Well, I'll have to like tell people have to keep checking every single day for a reservation because everyone is like, you have to go there. And I'm like, okay, if everyone's telling us this, like we, this is a must then.

Yeah, try to go if you can. If you have any other wrecks, text me that because, like I said, we don't have, like, set plans other than dinner reservations. Well, can you tell us what side of the island you're staying on? The opposite side of Mama's Fish House. I know that, but, like, I don't know the name. It's, like, the popular part of the island. Are you in Wailea? Yes. Yes. Okay. Okay. Okay, great. Then I'll have some wrecks. Okay, cool. Yeah, because is that where you guys stayed? Yeah.

Well, no, with him. So I've stayed in Wailea and with him, I stayed on the opposite side of Wailea where, I don't know. It's where like the montage is on that side. I don't know what, I don't know what side that's called. I think it starts with a P again. Is that like the opposite side? Is that like the side where the Four Seasons is with like that White Lotus was filmed at and stuff? Because I know there's like a set of hotels over there too. Yes. Yes. There's that Four Seasons montage. And I think there's a St. Regis.

Yeah, there's two different sides, though, but you're staying on the Wailea side. Yes. Which is going to be awesome. Yeah, so just very excited. I feel like in the past, I used to be someone who would book trips like six months in advance. But with the upcoming trips I have, it's like, oh, all this was booked like a month out. All of this was booked like two months out. But I feel like that's just like being an adult.

It is. And you know what? It's fine because most like mamas is the exception, right? Of like a reservation you can't get. But other than that, like you can get the reservations. Yeah. Also to like, this is my first time in Hawaii. I'd be fine. Like eating at the hotel every night if I had to, like, I'm just so excited to be there.

No, literally you would be fine waking up, being on the beach. It's beautiful. And then just like eating there, going to bed. You don't even, I agree. You don't even, sometimes it's nice to only leave one time. The hotel. Right? I'm just so excited for poke bowls and sushi. Oh my God. I can't wait. Yeah. It's going to be magical. Did you say your true roses and thorns? Cause the things that I'm seeing weren't the sleep things.

What did I say? Because like I changed them when I saw yours was sleep, I think. Friend type and get ready time. Okay. I had mine typed on there and then I saw you say sleep. So I changed them this morning and I think I forgot that I changed them. They're not... Well, my thorn is I used to love my get ready time, right? Like I used to love... I would block out like two hours and I would like take a long shower and like do my makeup. And I just...

Because we were talking about what's important to us in a house. And it used to be like a master bathroom because I would like love to get ready and really take my time. And since having Tate, like my, I think my get ready time is gone for 15 years. Like at the best I can do is sort of throw on some makeup and I always only have 20 minutes. I usually do it sitting on the ground downstairs and that's the best it is. And so I was thinking like RIP to my get ready time.

I know. And you'll get that. Did you say in 15 years you'll get that? I think it'll be 15 years. Yeah. I was like, you'll get it back eventually, but it's just going to be like a very long time from now. It's forever away. And that's okay. But it's also nice too because I'm like, I guess I don't really care about, like that's not saying it's important to me anymore. I don't need that good lighting in the bathroom. Yeah. Get ready time though. Let me tell you like, oh, there's nothing better than not being rushed and just having an actual...

extra like hour two hours to get ready when you're really really prepared I just I hate being rushed when I'm getting ready I mean I love like it's three o'clock and I'm like I'll just start getting ready now right but I have not done that in so long a little dressing drink a little music oh it's the dream yeah

That get ready. Oh, gone are the days. But they were the like, I think back to whenever Harrison and I went to Miami before I was pregnant. And I was like, I would want to go to the room at like three. Like, I'll start to get ready. And I would do that. I would like have the shower, play the music. I mean, it's just. It doesn't get better than that. Yeah.

That was so fun. Enjoy it. I know even with like having a boyfriend, you kind of lose it a little bit because they're always like, are you ready? Are you ready? And you're like, or you'll be like, I'm going to get ready. And they're like, why? We have like three hours. And I'm like, so?

They don't understand like you got to do the full shower and it's the, and then like dry your hair and do your makeup and scroll TikTok for a second and go back to it. And it is the best, but they don't get it because they're like, why wouldn't you just spend like five minutes doing that? And you're like, oh man,

Guys, we have 25% off your first purchase at O positive and O positive is something ladies listen up because this one is important for everyone. We're going to talk about the Euro vaginal probiotic. Euro is a probiotic blend specifically formulated to support vaginal health, which means it's

And there's nothing more important than that because health, as we know, is wealth. O Positive is a women's health company. They offer a range of symptom-targeting supplements that support women at every stage of life, from their first period to well beyond their last. And they have

best-selling women's health products at Target and on Amazon. And so, you guys, this is something that I really encourage you to look into and to get because downstairs, it is so important to take care of it. So...

Take proactive care of your health and head to opositive.com slash mean or enter code mean at checkout for 25% off your first purchase. That's O-P-O-S-I-T-I-V dot com slash mean for 25% off.

off you guys, vaginal odor, pH imbalance and impact on cell on sex life, et cetera. There's lots of problems that can be had and this is a great solution. So remember use code mean at checkout or visit opositive.com slash mean for 25% off. What was your friend type? Oh, I was okay. So my friend type was my friend type has changed and I find this fascinating because I know I keep talking about friends on here, but I

I love, I find myself like very attracted to friends who have like deep interests, um, who they're, they're different than me. Like they're, they have interests different than me. They do something different than me. They think about things differently than me. Something like that. I find that kind of a friend to be something I'm like really drawn to. Like they'll challenge my thoughts or something. And it's like a,

It's like a deeper kind of friendship, even though I don't know them as well here. I'm finding myself really drawn to those people. So that was kind of my rose is like I'm going to see some people Friday and Saturday this week and I'm like excited to see them. But I think about of the group like who I'm drawn to.

And I think the people I'm drawn to today are light years different than I would have been drawn to five years ago. And I'm like, I'm like happy about that. I love that. I feel like to being a mom, you're just so overstimulated throughout the day. Like you really need people in your life who challenge you and overstimulate you because you are challenged all day long. Like your brain's like, I need more.

And they need to be like easy to, you know what I mean? Like they're not so fluffy. They're not so like how not, they're not so surfaced is not the word, but they're,

I really love these girls that are just like they're easygoing for lack of a better term because you do kind of have to be go with the flow like there is going to be times where I find myself sitting there I'm just like I need like five minutes and I to stare at a wall or you could just really show up as you are and showing up as as I am right now is different than it ever has been before and so I like these girls that even if they don't have kids they don't care yeah your Austin friends are gorgeous I you posted a story of them I

I don't remember when it was. So obviously I had to stalk all of them. But I'm like, what's in the water in Austin? Because every single one looks like a model. I'm like, what's going on?

They're like really like self-care. They like take really good care of themselves. I love that because I feel like in New York, I mean, everyone's beautiful, but you can't take care of yourself as well as other places. Everyone's just exhausted in New York. And you just like simply don't have the space. Exactly. You know, it's just like it's so funny. Oh, I'm having a girl come over today that's going to help me go through my clothes and like organize things and like...

You know, because it's like there's no point in holding on to stuff that I'm not going to wear anymore or like doesn't fit anymore. And we're going to do like a bit. It's prepping for, I'll call it either moving or reorganizing, depending on where the cards fall. Yeah, she's going to help. I'm very excited. Is she a professional organizer? Yes. I love that. You know, that's a career I really think in another life I would have been really good at.

Oh my god I truly do not have the brain to do it But if you do I think Well one it's really good money But two it's oddly satisfying I would think if you see somebody's stuff And then you can organize it Like it's a super power I love watching those TikToks Where they have professional organizers Come in and they like redo their bathroom Well they don't redo it They just organize it And I'm like wow Like this is so so What's the word I'm looking for Not pleasing So satisfying to watch

Yes, and I like... Oh my God, I just look at this room and I just think like in my closet and I'm like, I have been waiting on somebody and I finally got her on the books and so I'm like, we're doing it. So I'm pumped because I...

If I even fold a drawer, like if I open up my workout drawer and I say, I'm going to fold all this today, I feel more space in my brain. Like it truly is like a weight lifted off of you. So question with professional organizers, do they take the clothes that you don't want and like donate them? Or do you have to deal with the unwanted things still? She'll take it. It's great.

Are you serious? It's unbelievable. Yeah, I'm really excited. And I'm going to have to decide to. And I'm going to sit with her. And I'm going to try on all the stuff. And we're going to be like, yes or no. And then we're going to get rid of it or not. If you haven't worn it in the past. Well, actually, that's hard. The past year rule because you were pregnant. So it's really hard to like apply that to your life because you couldn't wear some clothes due to your pregnancy.

I know. It's just... Yeah, I agree. And I do have this pile of pre-pregnancy stuff. But did I ever tell you about this? I think my mom told me this or somebody told me this. But if you have an item and let's say it's a summer item and let's say we're in summer, okay? You put a red tag on the hanger and then at the end of summer, if you didn't pull it, you have to get rid of it. I love that. I really feel like my style has...

I don't want to say, like, changed over the past year, but I feel like now that I'm 30 and I feel like this is very dramatic, I just...

I can't fathom not dressing modest. Like, I was going through my closet the other day and I was like, I was like, ripped jean shorts. I would never. I'm almost 30 years old. I can't wear. I was like a crop top. I could be a mother. It was just like it was the weirdest thing. Like, my brain couldn't fathom me wearing like my I would say like beach party girl outfits. Yeah.

uh but it's different now i definitely agree with that and like i'm glad that it is but yeah we have to like evolve with that i feel that too it's so funny you say that you say what'd you say i was like i'm a girlfriend i can't wear that yeah i am a kept woman i cannot be out in my crop top and my whole jean shorts anymore like what oh i'm dead um did you say you wanted to ask me about white lotus since

The season finale happened Yes and because it's Really made its way over to my feed I have no idea what's going on so what did you Think of the finale and What did you think of Patrick Schwarzenegger I feel like That he was kind of a thing in it So I thought the finale was trash Oh I just like

This season did nothing for me, which sucks because I loved so many of the characters. Like, I thought Patrick was awesome in the show. He, you know how sometimes when people play roles and, like, so he played an unlikable character. And you know how some people are so good at playing that role that you, like, don't like them anymore going forward? Yeah.

The Weeknd will never recover from whatever that show he was in. I'm like, I hate you, but I like you. That's how he was. He was just like this stuck-up, frat, finance bro who thought he was better than everyone. And throughout the show, he kind of learned different lessons. And when I say throughout the show, like in the last episode, he kind of learned that there's more to life. But yeah, he just played such an unlikable role where I was like,

you're so gross. But he was great. But he was good at it. He is a very talented actor. I feel bad when people are like, you only got that role because of your dad, which might be the case just from knowing people, but he is a talented actor, and I think he plays a really good, just, I mean, I think he could play other roles, but he'll be like that. To me, he's that actor that will be like, I don't want to say like a Matthew McConaughey role, but he'll always play like the pretty boy in a sense. Yeah.

No, that's a very real thing. I do think. I think some... Channing Tatum, for example, like, he can never play really a serious role for me. Like, they do kind of pigeonhole themselves, in a sense, into these roles. But, like, good for him if that's his role because I think Matthews had, like, such a good...

Yeah. He always plays like a kind of hot something. Yeah. But the show itself, this season... Like, I know not every season can be great and some people loved it. But to me...

I just didn't think that there was enough. And I know that the director, Mike White, has gone on camera being like, you know, my show doesn't have a plot. It's not supposed to really have a plot. And I respect that. But I don't know. It didn't seem like it flowed as well as the other seasons did.

Interesting. Okay. I just saw a lot of meals, meal prepping and charcuterie boards for the finale. And so I thought a lot of, it seemed like a lot of people were watching it, but sad to know you were let down. What did Pete think? Did he like it? He did like it. He, he thought it was really good, but, but you did it, but I did it, but you hated it. Okay. Okay. Fascinating. But it's not going to stop me from watching season four. Like it's still one of my favorite shows. It's just,

I don't know. I wish there was like a little more oomph to it. I felt like there was like one or two good episodes, but I wanted every episode to be like. Is there going to be a season four? Oh, I'm sure. I still think this is like one of the most successful shows. Also, I just learned that they pay everyone the exact same price to be on the show.

No, no way. All roles? I mean, I don't know if it's like every single role, but like all like the main people, like that whole set, they're all getting paid the exact same versus most TV shows and movies. Like if you're a higher billed actor, you get paid more. But like, what's his face? Goggins. Goggins, I mean. David Goggins? Is he the actor? I have no idea. Or is that the fitness guy?

I just made that mistake last time. Pete was like, no, that's the wrong person. But like he's. Oh, is it? Is it David Goggins in that movie with Eat? Not Eat, Pray, Love. David Goggins is the motivational speaker. With Brian Gosling? Oh, Walter Goggins. Walter Goggins is the actor. David Goggins is the motivational speaker.

Rocket Money is our favorite personal finance app because who doesn't love saving money? And with Rocket Money, it is so easy. You can cancel your unwanted subscriptions in the app. It doesn't get easier than that because who likes calling the customer service line and just sitting there? No one, no one does. And if time is money, Rocket Money is for you because you know how the feeling is, guys. You sign up for something, you forget about it, and you're just paying for it month over month over month. For example, streaming subscribers

subscriptions there's nothing more frustrating than just throwing money out the window now more than ever we got to protect our wallet so you guys rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings rocket money has over five million users

And it's helped save a total of $500 million and cancel subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash meangirl today. That's rocketmoney.com slash meangirl. rocketmoney.com slash meangirl.

Vacation season is among us and you guys know we love quints and I've been seeing quints everywhere on some of your favorite influencers on all of the Instagram stories. And you guys with vacation season here, it's time to treat yourself to Luxe Upgrades.

that are very high quality. They are travel essentials, but with quints, they are at fair prices because you guys know over the winter, I was obsessed with the cashmere sweaters because it was the same quality as all the expensive brands. But you guys, it was seriously a fraction of the price. And now we've got lightweight European linen styles and wadding

washable silk tops. I think silk should always be washable. I think that shows that it's high quality and the lightweight European styles. They are from $30 and there's comfy lounge sets. You guys, they are so cute and the way that they're able to,

to pass on the discounts to us is they work directly with factories and they cut out the cost of the middleman, which is how they pass down the savings to you and I. So the quality is the exact same. So for your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from Quint. Go to quints.com slash mean for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order.

That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash mean for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash mean. Who's, but who's the, okay, you know Ryan Gosling in that movie. Which one? With Steve Carell. Oh, yeah. What is that called? Crazy Stupid Love. Crazy Stupid Love. Isn't there a David Goggins in that? Oh, yeah.

That's the, I think that's Kevin Bacon's name in the show or in the movie. Yeah. He's the mom's boyfriend or something. Yeah. Okay. That's who I'm thinking of. Wait, what's his name in the movie? Is it not David Goggins? Oh, David Lynn Hogan. That's right. That's right.

Okay, that is like one of the best movies. That was best rom-coms ever made. I think I'm gonna have to watch that very soon. I actually think I will too. They just don't make movies like that anymore. That was, oh my god, I freaking love that movie so much. That's like my go-to plane movie. Oh, it's the, is it on Delta? I think so.

That's so nice. You guys probably have really good movies. But speaking of shows, what did you think about our show? Okay, so...

I was so angry this morning. So every Wednesday morning to watch Good American Family, I go on the treadmill and I watch it. And all of a sudden, I'm like getting on the treadmill, logging in, and I can't get into Hulu. So I was like panicking. And it's my roommate's password. And she's someone who sleeps into the last moment. So I was like, I'm shit out of luck. Like, there's no way she's going to wake up.

and give it to me before 8 a.m. And then I was like, oh, Pete has a login. So then I texted Pete and I was like, I need your login now.

Didn't hear from him. And I was like, I know he's up. He leaves for work at 7 every single morning. Texted him again. And I was like, I swear to God. Like, I was like, Jordan, you can't be mad at him. This is a TV show. But I was fuming. And then finally, with like 10 minutes left in my workout, he texted me. He's like, try this. So I had to watch it when I got home. But...

Not on the treadmill. It's so funny you say that because today's the one day I watched it on the treadmill walking and I've never done that. So I was just, I took your spot in the universe. Yeah, I was just like fuming on the treadmill. And then I had to like, I was like, what am I going to do when I walk if I can't watch Good American Family? Oh, it is a, it's a good treadmill show. It flew by. This, yeah, this episode was interesting to me.

So I still feel like I'm being gaslit. Like, I still feel like I'm crazy when I watch this. But when I watch this episode, because it was solely just Natalia Grace the entire time living on her own, I'm like, I don't know what to believe because how did they get footage of how she was on her own? So I'm like, unless she told them, but like she did a lot of really crazy things on her own. So I was like, is this accurate? Then I got more confused. Yeah.

Like, okay. I do understand. She actually kind of... It was really sad to watch. Because she was a sociopath to them. Like, she tried to kill them and wanted to kill them. Yeah. Well, I think that's it. I think she's a sociopath. We can't make sense of what she's doing.

But when you're watching this particular episode in the vacuum, she really can't fend for herself. No, like literally like can't reach certain things, doesn't have the strength to turn on the shower. I was like, oh my God. They didn't like think about that. But then, but also like, what are they supposed to do? She wanted all of them dead.

I know. And I also got so confused in the beginning when she's sitting with that reporter or detective, whatever that guy is. Is he a reporter or detective? I think he's a reporter. I think he's both. I don't know. I was like, why is she admitting all of these things that she did? Do you know what I mean? And then whose voice was it that said, she'll talk if you want. Like, and he, he walked out. I thought he was talking to Christine and he was like, I thought this isn't going well. I thought you said she'd talk.

Do you remember that at the end of him interviewing her? And then that female responded and was like, she will talk. I told you she'll talk. Was that not Christine? I don't think so. Because at least the way that I understood it was he's trying to come at the angle of putting Christine and Michael in jail like he did. And I think he wants to make Natalia look good. But Natalia was only feeding him things that backed Christine and Michael up. So that's what I was getting out of it. He was pissed off from that.

And the reason she's doing that is because she keeps saying, so it's, it's sort of weird because it's turning to her. Natalia is like, I'll say whatever you want, mommy and daddy. Cause like she does miss her family in like some weird messed up way. Yeah. So she's just regurgitating what Christine tells her, which is like, you did this.

want them dead you know what I mean like it's oh it's like really messing with my head like I go in like during the show I feel so many emotions like I feel guilt sadness anger frustration one second I'm feeling sorry for the next second I'm so angry at her and I just leave and I'm like what did I just watch

Because she's like, two truths and a lie. No, the lie is I am allergic to bananas because I'm eight. And she's like, I don't remember the years before this. And so I'm, but she does act like she does have the manipulative tactics of somebody that's older. Yes. So that's what I truly like. I try to like ignore the outside world. I pretend I don't know anything but this show. And if I'm ignoring the whole outside world, I like genuinely don't know what to believe if she's

after this episode like if she's a kid or if she's 22 same and like when she took that that boy with her to her parents house like I know the mom or the grandma went over and was like you sick f-u-c-k but I don't think she meant that vindictively no I think she just needed help or saw a way to get to her or Christina Michaels house and she just took it but because it seemed very naive to me like

She truly doesn't know how to take the bus. Like she wasn't trying to kidnap him. Yeah. She thought she was taking him to her house. Yeah. I just, and you would think if she was older, she would just have more skills. But the way she acted and how she ate was very, I'm seven years old. Yeah. Very like I'm seven years old trying to live by myself. And I've never done this before. Like I don't know how to use a can opener. Um, don't know how to cook, but of course like she can't cook.

Right? Like, you know, somebody that's her height, like, she can't reach a stove. So on one token, like, Christine and Michael are trying to protect their family and, like, not die, which is, I get that. But on the other hand, I just don't know why they don't take her to the police. Yeah, or a facility that has, like, a special care unit. Or even, I don't know if they could have taken her to a psychiatric hospital, but even...

That where she could have people helping her like nurses assisting her. Yeah, like wives leaving her on her own. Like she can unlock the door and go outside and say something like that to me is like crazy. Yeah. And when Michael and Christine came to check in on her, they saw like how disgusting her apartment was and like the power went off and...

it's just like you would think it'd be less of a headache if you guys would have just brought her to some place that could assist her it was very strange to me like I I understand the parents are so angry and frustrated but also too I was like I feel like you guys could have done a little better I don't know yeah all this just to just to be able to write your book and like pretend like she doesn't exist is like crazy it's it's messing with my mind like

And you know this is like the glorified version of it. Like, you know that apartment was actually like truly disgusting. Right? And then also too, at the end, was her new apartment upstairs? Which is so mean. Like, she can't go up the stairs. Like, I was like, she's literally going to be stuck. Yeah. I know. I know. And then...

Yeah, I think that it's all bad. It's all bad. I can't wait to see where we go from here. I did wish we saw more of their move to Canada and their thought process. This episode was solely about her, but I guess the next one will probably get more insight. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay, okay. So Pia's saying that the director released the first four episodes from the Barnett's perspective, and now the next four are going to be from Natalia's perspective. Which, that makes so much sense, because I was literally just going to say...

I don't know the like the route or the point of view this show is trying to take. Like at first I thought it was them trying to show that the parents were bad. But now I'm sorry that Natalia was bad. But now I'm like now I feel like they're showing that the parents are bad. So it's like what point of view is it? But that makes so much sense. Yeah, because she did want to like she did push her into the fence. Like she does like flip. But like.

She can't live on her own. Like she is still a human. Like she can't live on her own. I think that, yeah, I just, I guess what it keeps going back to is like, why didn't they take her to a facility? Yeah. It's very, very bizarre. And I think there's only like two episodes left, maybe three. So I feel like, yeah, I don't know, but I'm attached. Like this is a show where I truly am. My eyes are glued to the screen the entire time.

Same, same. It's really good. So I'm excited for the next episode, but it's wild. Yeah, it's really crazy. You want to do the listener question? Yes. Oh, do you want to do a disclaimer on the scammer to warn the audience? Yes, that's what I wanted to do first. Okay, so you guys, if anyone gets an email trying to book you on our show, ignore them because...

Like, if anyone emails you with, like, a Gmail or a Mean Girl at Mean Girl Pod, like, that's not us. Over the weekend, I had someone reach out to me saying that this person tried to book them on our show. And they used, I think it was, like, Jordan at MeanGirlPod.com or Jordan...

at meangirlpod at gmail.com. And they even got on like a Zoom call with her. They didn't show her face, but then they tried to like have her click these links and scam her out of money and all this like really, really weird things. And I've gotten a few other DMs on our meangirlpod account being like, are you trying to book me? Like, just want to make sure this is accurate. So unless it's a just media house email, ignore it.

And we're probably not emailing you. Yeah. We're probably DMing you, if anything. Yeah. It's like wild because, yeah, just ignore, ignore, ignore. Yeah. I was so grateful that she reached out and showed me everything. But the fact that she got on a Zoom call freaked me out because I was like, this person is going to the length of going on a Zoom call with people. Like, that is terrifying. Yeah. It's a bad scam. So ignore it. Yeah. So. Yeah.

Okay. So do you want to just go to our listener question? Okay. Okay. Let's do it. I came out of a marriage due to excessive lying and cheating on his part. It was horrible. I've been divorced for a few years now. For the past two years, I've been in a relationship with a wonderful man. He's so good to me and my son, and he truly represents the kind of father figure and partner I want my son to look up to.

Recently, he lied about something small, using nicotine occasionally. Honestly, I don't even care about the habit itself as long as it's not something that controls him all day every day. That goes for any habit. It does seem to have some hold on him, though it appears to be more sporadic, so I haven't really reacted to that. What I have reacted to is the lie.

As far as I know, this is the only thing he's lied about, but my mind keeps spiraling into the possibilities that there could be more. It's really hard for me to move past that and fully trust that he's not hiding bigger things. We live together and I haven't found anything concerning. He's consistent in every way and incredibly patient with me, knowing what I went through in my previous marriage. I've done a lot of healing, but this feels like a bit of a setback. He says he lied out of shame. What do you think? Could there be more lies hiding beneath the surface?

Okay, so when I first listened or read this listener question, I feel like she's taking her past relationship trauma out on her current relationship. Like, I understand her frustration. It's never fun to be cheated on, but it's almost like she hasn't fully healed from her past relationship and she's carrying that baggage and has all these assumptions still from her ex and is

bringing that and putting that on her new boyfriend and her new relationship, which isn't fair. Yeah. One thing my therapist always said was history will surface first. So while him lying about the nicotine thing is like not that big of a deal, right? For her, I want to like validate her concern because you're right. History to her,

Is like seeping in. So she's thinking he's lying about everything to him. He's like, I lied out of shame to her. She's like, you're lying about everything. So I do want to tell her if she's listening, like your history is presenting itself in the present day right now. So your brain is wired to think that he's lying about everything. He's probably not. And the reason I think he's not is if he was, he would have got really defensive. Yeah.

And Ben like, no, like you're overreacting and like made you feel like the problem. But instead he was able to like look inward and be like, wait, I lied out of shame. Like I'm embarrassed that I'm doing this. And so I didn't want to tell you. And so, and it probably does have some kind of a hold on him, which is why he lied about it. But he's embarrassed that he lied. That to me is like a really healthy sign that he was able to admit that it was out of shame. Exactly. Because like what she went through in her old marriage is like,

trauma and she needs to heal from that trauma it would be like if if she was um if you if you were cheated on in a relationship and then you go into your next relationship and you kind of just always have like this assumption that your your partner's gonna cheat on you like it's not it's not fair to put that on your new partner like when they're trying to be a good partner so I totally understand her concern and worry but my therapist has always been like you you can't

allow your past trauma to drag into your new relationship like you have to work on yourself in that old trauma because it's not fair to your new partner totally and so I think I think that's if she just can know that like she's putting that on it on him and it's it's like a chemical thing in her brain happening like she's trained to think one lie equals a thousand lies and

that's not the case with him because he's never done that to you. So you have no reason to think that with him. But I think if she communicates that to him, like, Hey, I, I hear one little lie. I think you're lying about, I think you're lying about your name. Like, I think it's a whole school of lies and to him it's not. So he can know like,

That that's a trigger point for her. And like I think that. He sounds like a good egg. Yeah. And laying it all out to him is so good. And like it. Like showing him where you're coming from. In your thought process. Is coming from is very important. Because it gives him. Or give. He will give you more grace. To why you're like.

assuming so much and it also will help you like talk through your problems like I always did that with Pete where if I like overreacted about something due to past traumas and relationships I would talk about it a lot with him and he was like it is so great to understand where you're coming from and why you thought the way you thought and then he also can validate me to be like I would never do that to you so I just think overall like talk to him about it communicate to him why you feel the way you feel and like it will just overall help your relationship but he sounds like a good guy

Yeah, I'm really well said. I totally agree. And it's a really good question. It was really well written. Do you want to do Rex? Yes. Okay.

Um, so my rec of the week is a book. I finally entered the LZ silver universe. And if you guys don't know who else LZ silver is, she's a very popular romance author that kind of just like, I feel like blew up in the past year, two years. She's written three different series now. Um,

And I always was like, no, I'm never going to read them. They're cheesy romances. I'm never going to read them. Because I only saw them on BookTok. And they're like kind of... They're like small town. They actually... Small town Canada. They live on like a horse farm. Like all this stuff. And I was like, I don't... That doesn't sound interesting to me. Like I love other things. No, I caved and I read her first book, Wild Love, of the Her Rose Hill series.

It was a five-star read. It was so good. Oh, good. Isn't that funny? You're always the ones where there's a reason people love them, but you're like, not for me. And then it was, okay, that's great. Yeah, I finally just caved. I was like, fine, I'll read one of her books. And I'm just so glad I did because now I'm hooked. I'm an LZ Silver fan. And it was just as simple as that. Right? What's yours? Okay.

So I know we have a lot of listeners and we get like a lot of listener questions for people that are in there like younger or earlier mid-20s. And Mel Robbins recently did this episode. It's episode 277. So she might have another one out by the time this comes out, but 277. And it's career advice on how to nail an interview, how to ask for a raise, and how to land your dream job. And I think that...

And it's a Harvard professor that she's talking with. And I think it would be really valuable for our listeners. And so for me, I wish I would have heard it back when I was like 21, 22. So if you're in that phase right now, the episode's really good. So that's my rec. I love that. Anything that Mel Robbins says is gold. She is so well-spoken and I feel like she actually gives like tangible advice. Like, I don't know. I've, I just feel like everything she says, I'm like, oh, I can relate to that and actually implement that into my life.

And she's so real when she's interviewing people. They'll give some like really fancy verbiage, you know, and she's like, okay, but if I'm the listener, like I really don't know what you just said. So can you dumb it down? And because she's also saying like, I don't get it. So they don't get it. So, or give me, give me like actionable things. And so, yeah, I agree. She's a really good interviewer and she doesn't, I don't love when some of these, I don't know, motivational speakers, motivational people, um,

Talk like down to you Sort of I feel like she's an expert At just saying Like humbly Entering the room And being like Yeah I don't really know it either We're all You know F-ups in a way And I feel like She kind of like Checks her ego at the door And that way You get a lot out of it So I really love that about her Yeah I do too I love that Okay amazing Anything else?

No, that's all. Next week we can do our justice for the boys. Yeah, you guys better listen next week because we have a very good topic.

I am excited about it. Yeah, I think it's good that we'll do it next week. I do too. And we'll be less chatty Cathy's and get into it. Yeah, we will. Sorry. We were like, we had so much to discuss. Okay, you guys. We love you so much. And remember to keep sending your listener questions and keep watching Good American Family with us. And we love you. We love you guys. Talk to you next week. Bye. Bye.

I'm Alex Bennett. And I'm Jordan Woodruff. So AB, do what you do best. If you enjoyed the show, don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Stay connected with us on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and Snapchat at at Mean Girl Pod. Podcast plus social artwork and post-production by Creative Evolution Studios. Mean Girl Pod, we're your besties in your ear. New episodes every Monday.