Listen to Ask Ronna with Ronna (& Bryan): Shania Goes to Geneva
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Happy Friday. I have a special treat for you today. It's an episode of Ask Rana with Rana and Brian. Ask Rana is, at its core, an advice show, but really, it's so much more.

Ronna Glickman and Brian Soffie answer real questions from real listeners. With the help of a little shtetl clairvoyance, impeccable taste, and their A-list guests such as Ellie Kemper, Conan O'Brien, Tony Hale, Casey Wilson, Sandra Bernhardt, and more. They don't have any formal credentials, but that

doesn't mean they aren't right most of the time. On this episode, Ronna and Brian give advice on a prolonged affair, a psychic guilt trip from Australia, and an absolute real estate monster. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll probably come out the other side a better person.

Ask Rana is the perfect show when I need something light to listen to after a day of diving into true crime. Ask Rana is more than just a podcast, and they have a lot going on that you don't want to miss.

Check out everything happening in the Carriage House on Instagram at Ask Rana. And if you can't get enough, you can join the Ask Rana Social Club and get a carefully curated monthly cocktail box. Find out more about the Social Club at arsocialclub.com and find Ask Rana wherever you get podcasts. Ask Rana isn't just a podcast. It's a way of life. Rana, forgive me.

I'm getting over a cold and I feel like I just have not been myself lately. And I am going to need probably about $500 or something. Just what? I just have not been. You can hear it in my voice, can't you? That you need $500. I can hear it in your voice. Medicines are expensive, monsieur. That's a line from Les Mis, but it's also my life. What's this new Amazon thing for $5 a month? You can have all the medicine you want.

Is that true? Something. It was a headline. I didn't read it. All the medicine you want. All the medicine you want for $5 a month. Well, I would really like, anyway. And you don't need a prescription. You can have anything you want. You just go in there and take whatever you want. That's great. That's great. That's like everyone can be a nurse Jackie. Ronna? Ronna?

What's wrong, sweetheart? You do seem a little, you have even too much head space in your frame. That's what's going on with you. Oh, I see. I had a cold. Oh, you're wearing a new sweater. I am. I got so cold. I have a cold and I am cold. Do you know what my thermostat is at right now? I was on the East Coast. Sure. I started to feel sick. Uh-huh. So I had to bundle, bundle, bundle. And I'm not talking about my cable and my internet. No.

It was so icy. I have to be honest with you, Ronna. My thermostat right now literally is at 74 degrees. Can you believe that? Oh, that's nothing. Really? Yeah. I feel so wasteful. I'm just like freezing. Mine did 78. Is it really? Yeah. Do you run cold, Ronna? I mean, I know you do. You're kind of a cold person. I do actually run cold. Yeah. I believe it. Yeah. You're not, there's nothing about you that's warm.

What a wonderful compliment. Thank you. I appreciate that. Well, I told you I wasn't feeling well and you immediately told me it's because my frame wasn't right. No, you told me you needed $500. And I said I could tell you weren't feeling right because your frame wasn't right. I know you told me to stop with the rugby, but there's a rugby on Mr. Porter right now that is from Drake's Clothing Company and it's $500 and I need $500. It's the only thing that looks soothing to me. What is Drake's Clothing Company called?

I don't fucking know, but there is a rugby. I don't know how to feel about Drake. I just don't know how to feel about Drake. I love his music, but I agree with you. I don't know how to feel about him. I just don't know how to feel about him. You know who else? Every time I think I know how I feel about Drake, another video pops up of him with Adonis, his son, where he's being very good to him and telling him you can pick one candy, you can't have all the candies. And they're sitting courtside at the Knicks.

Well, this is a surprise to no one, but do you know in Toronto they have a shoe museum? So that's what we're dealing with up there. I didn't know that. What is it dedicated to? Different people's shoes, like celebrity shoes. Oh, that makes me very sad for them. It was really sad. But anyway, they have one of Drake's sneakers. Not a pair. One. Who'd he give the other one to? I don't know. You'd think he'd give them a pair because he is Canadian. Yeah, he is. Rana, what's up?

Yeah. Drake would actually love this show. Yeah, he would. I think there's Drake, the public Drake and the private Drake is what I'll say. Oh, yeah. You think he's like actually a snob and bougie and like, yeah, I agree. Oh, no, he's a snob and bougie and all of that. Anyway, he's not private about that. Drake also sleeps on a Heston's bed, but he sleeps on this one that's $100,000 and he sleeps on that one. And I don't sleep on that one. You sleep on like a

The cheaper one. You can call it that if it makes people feel better. Yeah. Yeah. The King of Sweden and I sleep on the same bed, but Drake sleeps on a different bed than us. Rana. The King of Sweden and I occasionally share a bed. What? I'm kidding. Is it the King of Sweden who sometimes flies for KLM?

Uh, oh, that that's true. One of them, right. Who's that? One of them is a pilot. I think it's the king of Sweden. No, if it's KLM, then he must be the king of the Netherlands. No, but there's not such a thing. Oh, you'll have to, that's a Dante lookup. Get busy, Dante. Don't just sit there and enjoy the show. Or which king flies for KLM airlines. Ronna, when I get very, when I get, get sick.

I feel very underfunded and I also feel very wistful. Like today and yesterday, all I did was listen to Aaliyah. I love her. I do absolutely love her. Oh, I was right again. It's the Dutch King. You're kidding. No. Does he have a name, Dante, or you just write Dutch King? Rana.

Yeah. I do need, Ronna, I just need $500. You need this polo. Somehow you need this rugby. Well, also because you've just humiliated me on air. I did? How? By telling you frame. I said it was the Swedish king. You had a dirty frame. That's why I humiliated you. In the business, a dirty frame. It sounds dirtier than it is. Yeah, it's just like something's. A dirty frame is when something's sort of in the frame and out of the frame, not in the way that it's supposed to be. Willem Alexander. Willem Alexander. I didn't know the Dutch had a king. Oh, of course, yeah.

Isn't it? Who's their queen, Dante? Queen Margarita? It's something like that. Yeah. Anyway, Ron. They've got one. Anyway. We can move on.

Oh, before we go to the comments, just since we're at the top of the show, we have our Lonely Hearts show on February 12th. That's this Sunday. Coming right up. Coming right up. You can go to AskRonalive.com. And now you can order the kits on the show. You just won't have them in time for the actual show. There's a small chance that you could, especially if you're in the New York area. But we're not guaranteeing anything. Right. But you can still order them. And they're adorable. That black...

Kinto bottle with that hot pink leopard. Well, I wouldn't care if that arrived in time for the show or not. I just want to have it. That's an all year round. I just want to have it. And as we said, for any of our coffee or our social club or our Patreon people that order, we're throwing in an extra ticket to the show so that they can bring either their sweetheart or their lonely heart. They can bring a plus one to the show for free if they buy one of the kits or packages. Yeah.

It doesn't come with just regular ticket. It only comes with a kit or a package. Let's not be crazy. Okay. That's right. And they can, I think they can buy tickets probably up into the last minute. And I should have mentioned this before. If you can't make the show. Yeah. There'll be a replay of the show. Definitely. So go to askronalive.com.

We'll see you live on Sunday. We have a couple of fun, fun guests that are joining us. Guests. Yeah. Games. Fabulous. Giveaways. All of it. Are we ever going to be tired of giving stuff away? We should get tired of it, don't you think? I think so too, Ronna. Yeah. I think so too.

Let's read a couple of these comments. Oh, and of course, AI Social Club, if they want to join for match, they have to sign up by match first. Join for match now. Up to and including match first. Oh, and if you have live show questions, you can have your question answered on air. So be sure to send those.

Yes, and also the people that want to participate in the games, there's a, where you go by the tickets, there's a Google form that says, you know, you can sign up if you want to be part of the trivia. And we're going to pick a couple of people to play with us as usual, which is always fun. I love that. Okay, Trevor Baumhoff. But to askron at gmail.com is where they should send their lonely hats questions. That's where the questions are. Okay, Trevor Baumhoff says, one ashamed fruit.

I write this review with great embarrassment as I've been listening since the very beginning and I'm just now stopping by to leave a review. Yeah, Rana, if you didn't hear Rana loud and clear last week, you better be doing it. Oh, I feel sick. I know, Rana. Five stars, of course, excuse me. You two make me laugh historically, even on my darkest days, and give the most surprising, insightful advice. I turn 29 in just over a week.

So I wanted to make sure I got this in before then. Keep up the good work. Much love.

And then Emma with like, I think eight exclamation points says goals, goals, goals. May we all be as classy as Rana, as warm as Brian and as wonderful to spend time with as the two of them together. Love the show so much. Aubrey Janae says five stars only. Excuse me. I can't even begin to describe how much comfort the show brings me. Many times. The only thing to calm me down is to put on this podcast.

I feel I'm escaping into this little Brian and Ronna Carriage House world of my own. They even read one of the letters I sent in. Ronna and Brian have created a very special community, which is not easy to do via podcast. And if you're wondering, the Patreon is like climbing into the attic of the Carriage House and finding your grandmother's beautiful jewelry and costumes. I can't wait for every Tuesday and Friday. Fabulous.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then we got a great comment from Patreon. I mean, we get many from Patreon, but one of the ones was from Jackson Duvall who said, y'all, I don't know if it was. Oh, Jackson Duvall's back. He's back, baby. Oh, here we go.

I don't know if it was due to the brief free feed break or because we had the fabulous guest Daniel Schneider on the pod. But if you were able to bottle the scrimpshish energy of free feed episode 151 and sell it, it could quite possibly solve world hunger, male pattern baldness, and insatiable bottom disease. Truly shades of vanilla and gold. Felicia Rashad approves.

Wonderful. The Felicia Rashad facts were incredible. They were so good. People went nuts for Danielle. And people have also been DMing me on my personal Instagram, by the way, which I'm going to turn into a Finsta soon. A Finsta? Yeah, that's when you have a fake Insta that's just for you. Oh, I see. So it's just personal. But at Ronna Glickman, people have been DMing me to say, did Danielle buy the bag?

People have been asking like crazy about that. So now I'm chasing Danielle to find out if she bought this goddamn bag. That's basically what's going on, which is driving me nuts. And it's only, the only thing that could drive me nuts is if she doesn't buy the bag. Yes. But she tells me she's buying it. So I'm looking forward to that. Yes. Ronna, we forgot to mention it's just us here today. You know, I have to say, I really enjoy this rhythm that we've gotten into. Yeah.

Where we have, you know, it's like Night of a Thousand Stars, blockbuster, blockbuster, blockbuster, blockbuster. And then we just take a moment, we regroup and we get real. It's like when Shania goes to Geneva. Yeah.

You don't impress me much. We just got to chill out, hit a reset. Or when Tina Turner goes to Geneva, she lives in the hills above Geneva, doesn't she? Did she finally move to the south of France? I can't remember. She may have a place in both, but Shania lives there now.

I just think it's fabulous when it's just us because it also gives the people a little taste of what kind of what it feels like to be on the Patreon, which is, let's be honest, patreon.com slash askrana. What are they waiting for? Oh, come on, everybody. What are they waiting for? You can get all, a new episode every week for $5 a month. Well, that's for now. That's all going to change. That's right. Inflation, inflation, inflation. It's very intimate. Very intimate. Does it bother you when people say intimate?

No, I love it. Sandwich and intimate. Yeah, intimate's beautiful. It's a beautiful way to say it. Now, we do have one follow-up, and then we're going to get straight into these questions, okay? I'll read the follow-up because this person, I really went after them on the free feed. And this was during the Cody episode, I believe.

Hey, Ron and Brian, it's me, Kelsey, the shameful wife who took forever to take my husband's advice to listen to your podcasts. Right message, wrong face? Maybe. Have you seen the episode of Modern Family? No, I haven't.

Please, please forgive me. I promise. We have Claire and Phil getting a fight over a wedge salad. I don't even know who Claire and Phil are. That's the dumb piece. We joke that the episode is all too relatable and this issue fits the bill. Look it up. Season two, episode 16, Regrets Only. That must be Julie Bowen. It's that Julie Bowen and like Tyrese Gibson. Ty Burrell. Ty Burrell, that's it. And Tyrese Gibson, that's right. The movie everyone's waiting for. Right.

Please, please, please forgive me. Maybe she's the surprise new casting for the last installment of Fast and the Furious. Julie Bowen? Yeah. Oh, she was on The View the other day talking about how she finally got her tummy tuck after having twins. Good for her. And she was also at like a Harry Styles concert or something. Congratulations to everyone who's been at the Harry Styles concert. Everyone involved. His pants split because Jennifer Aniston was there. I know. I saw that.

Man, they're all waiting to go in for the kill, huh? Olivia Wilde left an open spot. Yeah, now that they know, he doesn't mind if the waters are chummed with a more mature great white shark. Sure. They're all sitting in the audience waiting to go. Yep. They're all taking their, you know. You know, I saw Harry Styles. I did know that, yeah. Beautiful gowns. Absolutely beautiful gowns. Beautiful gowns. Please, please, please forgive me.

I promise I've been making up for lost time. Cam and I will be at the Lonely Hots Live. Purchase the Lonely Hots drink kit. Oh, cool. And I will be at the February A.I. Social Club and have sauna privileges. These people have their lives together. She really is making up for lost time.

Cam is a nurse that works night shift and he has come home to me still awake listening to episodes I've missed. That's so sweet. And as you might have guessed, I listened the second a new episode is released. Why are you trying to steal Cam's thing? Wow, Ronna. She can really do no right with you. Cam subscribed to Shades of Vanilla and it was his all-time favorite coffee. I love him. We both miss it so much. I love Cam.

Thank you for thinking of him and offering to send him something. He's going to be thrilled with sending him a Kinto tumbler. I just hope he doesn't take your advice. What kind of discount are we giving him? Five finger. Okay. We love and adore you both. Kiss, kiss. Kelsey Eckeberg. Kelsey, we love you. Oh, eek. Remember Kelsey? Eek. I saw a mouse. I've got to tell you, Ronna.

This coffee today has really done something to you. I know. I'm in a good mood. You're fresh. You really are. And I got to tell you. It's because I had an epidural. Hang on. What are you talking about?

'Cause you have that back thing that's going on. I have a herniated disc and I had an epidural and it took me out of pain, God knows for how long. I was gonna say, how long does an epidural last? But it changed, you know, either a minute or no minutes or forever, nobody knows. Right, right, right. Like everything. And I have to say that it is so, you don't even realize how insidious, look, I'm using my KissMind. I love it. How insidious and depressing

Pain can be. And so when you're out of a little bit of pain, look at how much even more fun I am. You are a blast, Rana. Yeah. Rana on an epidural is fun. I know, but it's a bit of a bummer because it means you're starting to notice how not fun I was. I got to tell you. You'll go back and say, oh, I didn't realize what a bummer you were. I should send my therapy bills for the past few weeks right to you. Weeks? Try years. Yeah.

I'm drinking out of my kiss kiss mug and I have a hot cup of tea and I'd appreciate it if you'd read our first letter. You got it. By the way, this question has no dear anything. It just says, please don't use my real name. Oh. But get this. They follow all of us on Instagram. They follow Ask Ronna, Brian Safi and Ronna Glickman on Instagram. And it's verifiable. Verified.

Yeah. I am a proud Patreon supporter and I've rated you five stars and five stars only. My accolades for you are many, but let me show rather than write how much I respect you all by following the style guide with my letter below. This is actually- Wow. Yeah, this is impressive.

Ron O'Brien and valued guest, if there is one. I'm a 38-year-old wife married eight years and mom to a one-year-old son. Okay. I'm in a male-dominated field that requires me to travel throughout the week to various locations throughout the state. Okay. Although I'm traveling a good bit, I do see the same people from project to project, year to year, et cetera. It's a fairly small world. Okay. In March of 2020, at the beginning of the pandemic, I began an affair with a coworker. Oh, boy. Okay.

For the sake of brevity. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You know why you're saying it that way, by the way? Because they did follow the style guide. I'm saying it this way. Because that landed hard. Hey, I'm already enjoying every minute of it. Me too. This is what it means to write a good paper. Okay? Because guess what? You just stunned us, baby. It's a thesis statement, and then you back it up. Totally. And look at us react off of it. The other reason I'm saying this is because they have a one-year-old.

So they had an affair in March of 2020 and they have a one-year-old. I'm just a little bit curious about the math here. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, let's find out. For the sake of brevity, I won't go into the detail of the many reasons that may have led up to that, including grief, depression, depression, depression.

marital problems, et cetera. Oh, they should have just had an epidural. They never would have had an affair. There you go. All you really need in this world is an epidural. I want one now. Do they still shoot it like straight in your spine basically? Yeah, it was painful to get it. No, I thought it would be. I, the guy did an incredible job. I'm a big fan of his. Yeah. Well, I flew out to Beverly Hills to get it done, but you know, that's what you had a bathtub birth for Jordan, right?

Yeah. I had laughing gas and I had, you know, I woke up two days later and they said, this is yours. And I said, must be. Well, that's how they used to do it, Ron. And my mom doesn't remember a thing about any of our births.

Go on. Rather, I will just say that it's- What about that? Prince Harry talking about in spare. I can't believe we're back on this. Yeah. How they had laughing gas there for Meghan when she was giving birth and that he took all the laughing gas and that they had to replace the canister. What? Wait, he took- What is it, 1593? I mean, what are we talking about?

Why did he take it? Because he was stressed out? The nurse came in. He was so stressed out during her birth. That he took it before his pregnant wife did, who was in labor. And I've accused him of this a little bit, which is I think he's one of those guys whose personality is he loves to do drugs. Right. You know those people who- I do. Who pottying is their personality. Yep. Yep.

Because on that documentary when they talked about how they knew the news was going to break about their incredible love affair, so they had like a fake burning man party with him and his whatever. They all went to somebody's apartment. And he said, we had a lot of fun that night, which obviously meant that they, you know, hoovered up whatever somebody could find. But anyway, back to me.

I won't get into detail. Many. Oh, no, I did this. Okay. I will just say that the fair started and it was on and off mostly on from March, 2020 to May, 2021.

Sometimes he would break it off, sometimes me. But mostly he took the lead on that, getting nervous and anxious about being discovered by his wife and upending the lives of his young children. I always understood, but it hurt nonetheless. Wow. March 2022 is when that baby could have been born. Anyway, we're going to find out. During a break from him, I got pregnant by my husband. Okay. I stayed faithful during my first trimester.

Ooh, congrats. Rough. That's great. Oh my goodness. I mean, it's something. Yeah. I stayed faithful during my first trimester. And then we began meeting again a few more times until he called it off again. Since then, we've met up a few times, no sex. I haven't had any physical contact since September, 2022.

I should probably mention that we used to say we loved each other, so there wasn't an emotional component beyond just the physical to this relationship. I want very earnestly to be a good wife and mother. I actually don't want to restart anything, but I still see this individual with some frequency due to work. I've tried a variety of tactics to move on from this situation, but find myself backsliding each time I see him. I do think that I'm partially held up on him because he ended our relationship more times than me, including the last time. That really does a number on people.

I cannot change jobs at this time nor move. I will have to see him with some regularity. I'm able to be professional on the surface, but underneath I feel uncomfortable amongst a torrent of other emotions. My question is how do I move on from this situation when I can't avoid someone completely? I know these things take time, but any other suggestions besides that? Feel free to drag me. I know I've done wrong, and I'm incredibly grateful for a healthy son and a kind husband who is oblivious to all of this. Thank you. The worst. Okay.

You're not the worst. No. You're just a person. That's fine. You were depressed, anxious. You're just a person. Great. That's great. He's just a person who did a thing. Okay? Right. That's the first thing. So, I mean, it does sound like, to be fair, it doesn't sound like she's beating herself up too much. I was going to say, I do think...

I mean, her question is not how do I live with myself? The fact that you were faithful for three months in a row is how come I'm still attracted to him when I see him, even though I don't want this. That's right. Cause she can't, I would say the first thing to do is don't see him, but that's not an option here.

I don't know. The first thing to do is go to therapy because the problem is that this is all still a secret. Right. And so it's still thrilling. You've addressed the symptoms but not the cause. That's right. It's still thrilling in the way that it was thrilling for some reason for you to have sex with some other guy while you were pregnant with some other guy's baby. Okay? Mm-hmm.

There is some root thing here of, I don't know. I mean, look again, I don't want to over, really, I don't want to say something. I don't know your past, but there does seem to be some, I'm having a little shtetl moment about some root issue of abandonment or neglect. There's some reason why it is thrilling to you to be desired and to have a secret.

I will also, please continue. So taking it out in the open is probably, and I don't mean, I'm not advocating you have to tell your husband. Right. But taking it out into the light of day, certainly in a therapy session, would probably be quite useful to you. I think it would be very useful. I have to say there is a phenomenon, and maybe, I don't know, when someone breaks up with you. Ugh.

Even if it wasn't a good idea to begin with, to be with this person, even if they are, and it doesn't sound like this guy is, but even if they are way beneath you, even if they are, we're never right for you to begin with. Maybe way beneath you is too harsh, but maybe they weren't right for you to begin with. When someone breaks up with you, it really can do a number. It doesn't matter how crazy you were about them even. But it's also doing, and I totally agree. And it's also doing a number because that's your number. Yeah.

Right.

Meaning this is your pathology. The abandonment. This is your thing. That's right. The thrill, the highs and the lows and the being desired and the illicitness of it. I mean, look, it sounds like a blast. And the feelings of not being good enough or attractive enough for any, all of that comes to the fore. Or being too good and being too something and he can't resist you and he can't, whatever all of this is. And then forever.

Flattens you like a pancake. Yeah. That's awful. But you have an opportunity right now, which is that everything in your life has exploded and become new.

In the small, this is just a great, one of the great shifts in life. You now have a family. It used to be you had a husband you were cheating on or a husband that you thought was kind of like your boyfriend probably, or, you know, whatever. Some of you'd been with a while and you were in a pattern and I'm going to assume this wasn't the first time. Eight years is a long time. Unfaithful. And this was just what you used to do. And now you have this kind of opportunity where the sort of earth has opened up.

And everything has shifted as a result, including probably the way that you feel about your husband. You've been able to see him as a father. You've been able to see how it feels to be a family, all of these things. Hard, easy, whatever it is, it's all upside down crazy for this. The kid's only one. Right. But it's an opportunity to write the next chapter.

And so while everything is changing, shifting, healing, whatever these things are that are happening in this moment in your life, please take this opportunity to go talk to someone and

Figure out what the root of this is and how to move past it. Because otherwise. Ding, ding. Yeah, just repeating itself. You will end up quite unhappy and destroy your family. Completely. That is such good advice. Get to the root of this. Also just like put this secret out in the open, you know, to your therapist. Yes. And that'll dispel some of it anyway. But also like, yeah, you have to work on some shit. You have to say to your therapist, why am I doing this? Right.

And they're going to say, why do you think you're doing this? And you're going to say... And you're going to figure it out. ABC. And you're going to find out something that you don't like about yourself or your past or whatever it is. That's right. And this also...

This is self-worth stuff and it's identity stuff and it all bleeds into how you feel about yourself and that all bleeds into how you feel about your family ultimately because you can end up feeling very lonely. You know, it's this contradictory time where it seems like, oh, we're a unit, we're stronger than ever. It's me, it's him, it's the baby. It's, you know, it's us against the world, da, da, da, da. But you're still you.

And you're still you with these feelings or these whatever, you know, this unresolved stuff. And you can end up feeling quite alienated and depressed. You talk about having been depressed before.

As a result of, you know, when the newness starts to wear off a little bit, you could start feeling like you are lying to your family and living a couple of different lives and that you, and that could be quite depressing. And I don't think, I think you deserve to be happy. I do too. Why don't you just find a way to continue to be happy?

And also... Gotta clean out this... Nobody wants to clean out the hog closet that they shoved every goddamn old boot and coat and everything else in. But you need the space. Gotta make space. Totally. And also, this just isn't a fire worth playing with. It just isn't. Like...

There's no good to come from us. Congratulations to you. Some other guy wanted to have sex with you when you were pregnant. Totally. I'm thrilled for you. It sounds like the reasons he broke it off. And still wants to. Yeah, I was going to say the reasons he broke it off was out of, it sounds like out of guilt. But this isn't something that's built to last anyway. No. I mean, I understand that you said you loved each other, but that's also, that's about intimacy. That you found a certain intimacy with him that maybe you don't have with your partner. And life is complicated. This happens to people. And by the way,

It's totally complicated that it happens to people. And also like maybe your therapist can talk you through taking some of that thrill and putting it, seeing how you could make that work in your actual relationship. And you got to switch it up with your husband. Yeah. And maybe if you had, look, you can't, we've said this before, but you can't be all things to all people. And maybe if you had a meaningful, intimate relationship with your therapist, meaning that somebody you could talk to about these things that you're not talking to other people, you know, whatever these things,

Whatever you shared with this guy. It wouldn't just be in your head. And it also wouldn't have to be with some guy that you see at the Ramada Inn on, you know. Oh, God. Wherever. 10 East, the gateway. I think this is an exciting moment. I think you'd have to think of it as a wound that has been reopened.

but that has the opportunity to heal properly this time. Does that make sense? Yes. And sometimes when- Yeah, really heal this wound. You have a great opportunity here. And by the way, people always talk about, I don't know what I would talk about in therapy. Congratulations, you've got the next 10 sessions figured out. That's not always easy. Yeah.

But this could really, if you don't get this out in the open, you could start internalizing it and hating yourself a little bit, resenting, you know, it's going to fester. It needs to be out in the open. And again, I'm not, I am not in any way saying you have to tell your husband. I'm saying you have to tell your therapist. You understand?

You and your therapist can decide who you want to tell about it. Another option is you become a religious zealot. And so every time you transgress, you really beat the shit out of yourself. Yeah, you get mad at everybody else. Exactly. So you could do that. Oh, yeah, you could do Cat of Nine Tails. That's fun. Exactly, yeah. You could do the pilgrimage. Self-flagellate, is that what they call it? Yeah, El Camino. Yeah, do it on your knees. Yeah, from Santiago de Compostela to wherever. That's what my grandmother did when she wanted to have a boy. What did she do?

She like did some pilgrimage on her knees to some church in Mexico. And she like did the last however long, like just on her knees. Brian, you really do come from an interesting group of people. Next. Next. Okay. Well, this one's on you. It certainly is. But again, look, you're just a person who did a thing. Okay. Yeah, that's true.

I'm not saying you have to unnecessarily beat yourself up for it. No, and we don't think it's great. But also learn from it. No. But it happened, okay? It happened. So now what are we going to do? No.

Question number two, Brian. Please remember, Brian, in addition to being a co-host today, you have a responsibility to think about who is going to win the grand prize and what they're going to get. Thank you for the reminder. I appreciate that. This isn't just, you know, some fun little confection of an episode. All right? No, this is work. We have a real responsibility to people here. Yeah. That's right. Thank you for the reminder. It's good to hear it every time.

- Team, that was my team. That was a team meeting. We had a team meeting. - I like that. - Hello, Ron and Brian. Ask Ron a team and distinguished guest. Last Tuesday night, my phone rang. It was my parents calling from Australia.

And they needed to speak to me urgently. Like the way you do. They had just seen a psychic. We should go to Australia together because otherwise I just won't go. I would never go, except with you. I'll go with you. That's what I mean. I just won't go. But maybe they should invite us to that Melbourne festival or whatever it is. Oh, I would do that. Do they still do that? Well, we'd have to be invited. Do they still do that? No, I'm not going to show up. I'm just going to show up. Give me a break.

I'll go to San Diego if I want to go to Australia. That's like people who go to Sundance, but they don't have a movie there. It's like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah. I'll just go to, I'll just go to San Diego. Then they can tell me the difference. They had just seen a psychic who had told them that my 94 year, whoa, hold on, back it up. Go ahead, Ronna. This is an urgent call in the middle of the night from Australia. They had just seen a psychic who

who had told them that my 94-year-old grandmother is going to die on Thursday. Well, Mimi, we could have bumped this to the top of the pile a little faster. Wow. The psychic added that I needed to be there with her so that she could pass peacefully. That was nice of them. Did the psychic offer to pay for your plane ticket? The most surprising aspect of this call is not the contents of their conversation with said psychic, but rather the fact that it's been...

Two years since I last received a phone call like it. 14 years ago, the prediction was first met. This is your kind of question. If that was ever a question. I do love it so far. This is for you. This is for Casey Rose Wilson.

Casey Cassidy. It's for sure for Stephanie. This is for Stephanie. This is for Danielle Schneider. This is for all the Heidi Rose Robbins fans out there. This is a cool-up question. This is a Matt Grassi question. Definitely. He's dying over this question, Matt Grassi. I love him. 14 years ago, the prediction was first made, resulting in my mother begging that my new wife and I delay our cross-country move so we could be there for my grandmother's final weeks.

When she was 80. I added that. Since we moved to the U.S. six years ago, there have been three other occasions where I was informed that my grandmother's death was imminent.

Well, first of all. This poor woman. It is. She's 94. She's like, why is everyone by my side again? These calls are always accompanied by the subtle implication that I owe my family in attendance at her deathbed. And they are trying to do me the favor of sparing me the regret I would feel at missing it. That is so abusive, by the way. Your mother would do this. So in a minute, but it's so emotionally manipulative.

Quote, she was there when you were born, my mother reminded me. Don't you want to be there when she goes? Nasty. I now have three young children, including an infant.

And neither work nor finances. See, I said, did the psychic want to pay for your plane ticket? They're going to transfer 100,000 miles to you. I already know what this person should do. You go see a psychic or don't. And tell your parents the psychic said she's not dying on Thursday. That's so funny. Just do that. Oh my God, dueling psychics. I love it so much. I now have three young children, including an infant. And neither work nor finances allow for me to visit my home country at the drop of a hat.

Yet these calls send me into a spiral of guilt and make me consider being reckless with my time and money to try to keep everyone happy. I love my grandmother dearly, but every time I have said goodbye to her, I have made peace with the fact that the farewell will likely be our last.

As a Gentile, I probably don't have shtetl clairvoyance, but there is a certain prickling in my mind that perhaps this isn't entirely about my grandmother, but the fact that my parents miss me, it would like me to be back home. My mother refuses to leave my grandmother and visit us here because the specter of death is always looming. Because of this, she has yet to meet two of her grandchildren.

That's very sad. That is sad. And your poor mother, I mean, something's going on there. I feel saddled with an obligation to them and saddened that they are missing out on my kids' lives, but am also aware of the more pressing needs of my family and life here. You're on the right track.

Brian, how can I balance these competing demands, taking care of my parents from afar while maintaining my emotional well-being? Many thanks, Chris. Proud follower in CHIP who is already missing my shades of vanilla mornings. That's the second mention. I get it. I'm working on it, okay? Yeah, come on. Fell asleep. There you go, Anna. Waking up now.

Rana. I mean... Competing psychics, I like. Dueling banjos, I like. I like the dueling banjos of it. You know, I saw that movie again recently. It is not good. That one scene is terrifying. Like, that one scene is legitimately still so upsetting. Yeah. The rest is sort of garbage. Anyway...

And I'm, of course, talking about practical magic. I think this is totally emotionally manipulative. And I think if your parents wanted to see you, they should just say that, obviously. But I know that I would be so guilt-ridden if someone said that to me and then I didn't go and then, God forbid, something happened. And that's so wrong. Your parents, as far as I'm concerned, can't come see you for, like, two weeks. Your grandmother is not. I don't know. I just...

It is such a frustrating thing. Of course, you can't upend your life to do this every time a psychic calls. And by the way, it's also not like you can just book a trip to Australia, which is an 18 hour flight. I mean, what about your fucking wellbeing? That's crazy. Well, I also think you could probably say to your mother, if you'd like us to come see you, we should plan it and talk about it. We are not in a financial position to do it. I hate having to say that, but if you want us to come, you know,

it, it really hurts my heart that you haven't met the kids. I'd love you to meet them when they're still little. I would love them for to meet. No, no, whatever the grandmother's name is. But, uh,

I also, you know, I love her more than anything. I'd be, I'd love to zoom with her. I'd love to do any of these things, but I, but it is totally impractical for me to come at the drop of a hat. We miss you. We love you. I would love to bring the kids. I would love for them to see Australia, but it has to be planned.

I'm sure you can understand, A, financially what a burden is, and B, what an – I mean, when they go, they have to go for a minimum of two weeks. To get a flight to Australia in three days? No, but they just – it's just nonsense. It's nonsense. But the heart of the matter is correct. First of all, you've made peace with the fact that you've already said goodbye to your grandmother. Honestly, your next trip out, if it's about the grandmother – Should be for the funeral. Absolutely. Yeah. Yep.

Complete, I mean, I don't mean to sound heartless or anything. No, but you could also say to your mother, this is, you know, grandma's 94. It's going to happen at some point. And I mean, you can't quite say it like that, but you should say to me, it would mean so much to me. If I'm going to come at a drop of the hat, I'm coming to support you because I love you and I want to be there for you. And I want to be there with the family if that moment happens. Yeah.

There's two trips here potentially. One is let's plan it, okay? Let's talk about, let's look at it. Yes, you're from far away. You moved away six years ago. Do I think it would be nice if you brought your kids back to Australia? I don't know if it'll take you a year to save for this trip. I don't know, you know, whatever it is, but let's plan it. But it's not something that can happen at the drop of a hat for any reason.

So we miss you. We love you. We'd love to be there for you. If you're really worried about me not being able to say goodbye to grandma, I'd love to Zoom with her. I'd love to this. I was going to say you could call her. You could Zoom with her. I really hope she knows how much I love her at this point. Yeah. But this is about what the mother needs, not what the grandmother needs. And the best part of this is that you said you've already made peace with it.

So it's just about letting go of the guilt, but also, you know what? There are just people in this world to get a thrill out of, you know, making people feel guilty. It's true. Because they went to a psychic. These people aren't exactly thinking straight. Also, if you detach yourself from it for a minute, it's very funny.

I mean, like for people to live their lives like this, this is like. Yeah. This is like star behavior. This is like what Shirley MacLaine would tell Meryl Streep and Postcards from the Edge. Yeah. Your mother needs to feel a little bit more loved. That's all. And also you might consider, I don't know if you have a weekly Zoom with, look, there are some people for whom nothing is enough, but your parents feel like, your mother feels like she's losing her mother and she's losing her daughter.

So she just needs to feel that you're a little more present in her life. And I know that that's hard because you have three small kids, but schedule it. I don't know. Zoom her every, you know me, I have no idea what time it is in Australia and I refuse to learn. Right. But schedule it. I'm curious. Whatever the five minutes is, that it's the same time that it's okay for you, that it's okay for them. Or honestly, she probably likes seeing her grandchildren. She just wants to talk to her daughter. That's all. God, this is crazy.

Do you know what time it is in Australia right now? I'm going to say two in the morning. 7.15 in the morning. No, that's not right. Yes. I don't have any time for that. But it's 7.15 tomorrow. Tomorrow morning. Well, that makes it all seem more reasonable. If you take the tomorrow out of it, it's nothing. I am in shock. But if you take the tomorrow out of it, then we're just a few hours ahead of them. That's true. Yeah. Yeah.

America first. We're always ahead, Ronna. America first. That's right. Good for us. Good for us. Good for us. That's right. Okay. Your mother's feeling a little neglected. You absolutely don't have to drop everything. You absolutely should plan a trip, and it absolutely might be for your 94-year-old grandmother's funeral or all this shtetl psychic God knows what's going on with this family. Is she going to live to 107? I have no idea.

Yeah. Plan your trip. My psychic told me she's going to die when she's going to die. That is so funny. I just want you to keep saying, I went to a psychic and she said she's going to live to 105. Because probably part of your parents' dream has been for you to regularly see a psychic. Well, my psychic said, yeah. And Zoom with your mother and Zoom with your grandmother and just make a little bit more of an effort at quelling her loss. It is a loss. And if you Zoom, totally. Totally.

And you can Zoom with the kids. I'm sure you already do, but if you have trouble. I'm never going to. I'm not. You know, I used to think, oh, kids should be so independent. Baby Steve, I'm not going to let her go anyway. I'm going to move right in next to her when she goes to college. I'm going to move into the penthouse apartment next to wherever she goes to college. And I'm going to make sure she comes over and feeds me soup twice a day or whatever she needs to do. You know that when I went to NYU freshman year, my mom was apartment hunting.

Are you serious? Completely. Did she buy one or just threatening? No, no, no. She wasn't even. Oh, but it was her reason to keep coming to New York. She kept saying, I have to come look at an apartment. Right. Yeah. Clever, much more clever than having an apartment. Cause if you have an apartment, then you're deciding when to come and you could say, Oh, she's here all the time. And plus it's expensive. And instead she just had reasons to come to New York. Yes.

Smart. Well played. Oh, she's good. She is good. She is good. Oh, maybe I'll just apartment hunt. I'll just get on the cellar. A constant apartment hunt. Though I don't really want to live in New Haven. Ronna, I did have a trip that when baby Steve turns 18, can I take her to Cancun? No, she's too fast skinned. She can't go to Cancun. Greetings, my darling Ronna and Brian and their lovely guest.

Please don't use my name. You can call me Christina. No one ever chooses that name. You know, I like it. Craig. Yes. Was what was the, that was one of those Oprah shows. Christina. Yes. The Mexican Oprah or Venezuelan. I can't remember what Christina was somewhere. Yeah.

I'm writing to you. Christina. She was the judge. Wasn't she a judge? No, she was a blonde. Okay. Yeah. I'll look her up while you're reading. She wasn't a judge. She was a blonde. Okay. Well, not a blonde like Judy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not that kind of blonde. Right. You know, Judy got highlights. Very blonde. Of course. Yeah. Of course.

I am writing you to discuss a conundrum I have. I work for a large real estate company located in New York City with about 200 people on my floor alone. Wow. Wow. I work in marketing and am seated directly next to a few teams of brokers. Okay. Christina is still around. She was a judge, wasn't she? No. Or that's Christine. Christine was a judge. Hold on. Maybe I'm wrong. Keep going. Sorry. Well, now I have to look up Judge Christine. Yeah, her name was Judge Christine. Wait.

No, her name was Judge Christina. We're not thinking of the same place. Okay. Person. My person, here she is. She was Cuban-American. Okay. Cuban, sorry. Cuban. Cuban-born. Cristina Maria Saleguay de Avila. Okay. She's 75 now. She had a talk show, an eponymous talk show, El Show de Cristina. Oh, of course. She's so famous. I know exactly who she is. She went to the University of Miami.

And yeah, she's great. She was, she was like, Oh, but she used to wear a high ponytail. Yes. I loved, I, she, I loved all of her looks. She had a lot of them. She did. She always looks good. Always. Okay. Sorry. Back to our letter. Okay.

Okay. Huge works for a real estate company. 200 people on this person's floor alone. Christina's floor alone. Okay. I work in marketing and it's seated directly next to a few teams of brokers. While I only come in about twice a week, there's something foul I witness every single time. There is a broker. Let's call him Brad. I fully believe that by the way.

That sits one row in front of me. Let's call him his exact name. Yeah, truly. And it's Brad for sure. That sits one row in front of me who clips his fingernails at his desk. Not even over the garbage can. Yes, you read that correctly. Every time I'm in the office, I hear that incessant clipping in the morning. Usually while I'm trying to enjoy. I already know who's winning the competition this week.

Can you imagine? It's a video for me. This went right to your heart. They're going to win a video from me to Brad. That's terrific. A video message, and you're going to email it to Brad. Can you imagine anything more disgusting? Before you tell me to confront this guy. This happened to me once. I told you this happened to me in Paris once. I vaguely do remember this. In a restaurant.

And he was clipping his toenails. That is so fucking foul. In my life, I'll never forget it as long as I live. That is nasty. I almost just threw up thinking about it. I'm so disgusted. Before you tell me to confront this guy, know that he has been extremely rude since the marketing team's desk removed over to, quote, his side of the floor. He's never said hello to me or my colleagues, and he's generally a boisterous and loud individual. I'm in my 30s and believe he is the same age.

He has a few other brokers who are his, quote, friends, but they've never spoken up. If someone on my team were doing this, I would probably have the guts to say something. I get angrier and angrier every day. Is this something I can go to HR to? Definitely. I think so for sure. My manager is located in a different state and is no help. I would love to hear your guidance on this foul issue. I'm sure you're as horrified as me. I have to come into the office. I would love to just sit in peace and not have to worry if a rogue fingernail will ricochet off my keyboard.

Raw misregards. It's a nice way to sign it. Christina. Christina, you got to go HR. Well, the first thing I would do, but this is when I wish my life was a body switch in comedy. If I could body switch with her, with Christina. What would you do? This would be handled in two seconds flat. Don't do that. It's disgusting. I would stand up, look over the cubicle, and I would say, are you clipping your fucking nails? Question mark. Yeah. And I'd let it hang in the air.

And if he turns around and says, yeah, whatever, I'd say, that's disgusting. Yep. I don't see why she can't do that. Not even over the trash can? Yeah. Are you a pig? Do you have a, where you live, do they have a bathroom? Because that's something people should do in the bathroom. Do you understand that? Yeah. Have you ever, just curious, have you ever seen anyone else in humanity clip their fingernails at their desk?

Well, I don't know. No, because it's gross. And if you're wondering why he sails it down, Brad, if this, then what? I would literally, I don't think there's anything wrong with saying, are you clipping your fingernails? Let it hang in the air and just go, that is so foul. That is disgusting. I feel like he'll never sit right back down at your desk. That's all you have to do.

That's all you have to do. And just sit down at your desk, put your headphones on, and if he starts talking back, don't even worry about it. Just say, ugh, no. Yeah, ugh. Yeah, please don't. I can't engage in that. Yeah, please. No, please. And if he starts talking to you, just say, I'm busy and I can't talk. I don't want to. Yeah. Sorry. Ugh. Yeah. Ugh. Yeah. I don't see anything wrong with that. And by the way, you absolutely can go to HR about it. That's disgusting.

Don't mouse around about this. That's what Brad gets off on. Oh, I'm closing a big deal. All this power. I'm clipping my toenails. I spilled a cup of coffee over here. Nope. Making a big deal.

He's mad that you're in his office. What are you responsible for where the desks go? Why doesn't he talk to whoever the, you know, facilities person is if he doesn't like where the desks are? Why doesn't he go to HR if he wants people to move out of his space? What a big fat, you know what Brad is? He's a feather. You can knock him right over. Oh, total. I'll show. Yeah. He'll probably ask you out. So be careful. You might marry him after this.

He can't believe somebody's going to say something like this to him. Just say whatever. Just say, that's disgusting. Sit back down. Well, no, no, no, no. Just say, no, no, no. This wasn't a conversation. This was just a comment. I had to tell you. Yeah. Someone had to say something. And by the way, everyone thinks it's disgusting. This isn't a me thing. Okay. This is a public service announcement. Let's wrap it up.

All right, here we go, Ronna. That's three questions. Are we going to give it to the person who has to sit across from one of the biggest monsters in the real estate business, and that's saying something? Or are we going to give it to- You're going to be an office hero, too, by the way. So be prepared for that. You're about to be a celebrity in your office. You're going to get a lot, all kinds of accolades. You might get a raise after this. Truly. Are we going to give it to the child of the- And if for some reason he goes to H.I.?

Which would be insane, but if he did... What the fuck would he even say? You should say, I genuinely understand where you're coming from, and then you should Google this and look it up and make sure you have this backed up. But I've spoken with several infectious disease specialists and especially at the time, at this incredibly sensitive time during the pandemic...

to be spreading the bodily fluids that are encased underneath his fingernails is a health hazard and it is a hazard to my safety in this office. Just come up with some kind of something that you can throw right back at them if, God forbid, he's a big baby and he cries and goes to HR. Just say, my health and wellness was endangered and I had to stand up for myself because you weren't doing it. You people weren't doing it.

So disgusting. Something like that. Yep. Yeah. Come up with something good. Yeah. Okay. So we've got Christina from the talk show and the fingernails. And then of course we have the maybe guilty feeling. The mom. Yeah. And then we have, who was that middle? Oh, the grandma. Yeah, the grandma. The psychic grandma. Psychic friends. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, they could call Miss Cleo. She'll tell them what to do. She's out of jail now. She's got a documentary. Yeah. She's telling everyone how she did it. Give her a ring. Yeah. Who are we helping and how today, Brian? I do feel for each one of them. I have to say a little bit. I do too. Okay. I don't know, Ronna. Okay, let me think. Because everybody's sort of having a hard time. The person who has the most work ahead of them.

Which, whether they realize it or not, is number one. Number two is exhausted and has given every shred of herself to everyone in her life, but she's just got to make one more push to get this relationship with her parents in a little bit of a better place. It stinks. Yeah. And number three, just that's disgusting. And you're a victim to it. Number three is appalling, but...

If you can just get yourself in the right place, you've got a fun – it's kind of fun to take this guy down. You know what? You're going to feel so good. It's going to be a blast. If you even just say six words to him, you're going to feel so good. And he'll be like, you know what? I never knew I had this in me. But if you can't do it, go to HR. Well, let me know and I'll send a video and let me know his real name. Send it anonymously. I absolutely will send a video and you can send it to him. Perfect. I love that. Because I can't think of anything I'd like more.

To lean over that cubicle. Hi, Brad. We hear you've been cutting your nails at work. That is absolutely disgusting. Can I ask why? Yeah. That's the other thing you can say to him. Can I ask why? Because it's just puffed up gorilla behavior. You know, he thinks he's like beating his chest in the office or whatever. Why does he only do it at work? He doesn't have another minute in the intervening seven days. There are bathrooms everywhere. Yeah. Okay, so what do you think? Number one, Ronner?

Why is this one tough? It is though, isn't it? I'm a toss up between one and two, frankly. I do really feel for number one because I know she wants this to get better. Yeah. But this is a real help yourself sort of thing. Like you gotta do some work here. Yeah. And that's sort of the prescription. It's funny. Number three is the one that's really killing me. Let's go number three. I think that's hysterical. Let's go number three. Number three is so upset. She's the angriest of all of them.

She is. And also she kept it tight on the mic. She's having the hottest time of all three of them. That's right. Yeah, that's truly, that would be a nightmare. Is our Lonely Heart this weekend? I believe so, right? When does this get released? Is that what it is? What date is this coming out? Yes, our Lonely Heart is this Sunday. Okay, well.

I don't know whether I should do this. I don't even know if we, we probably don't even have the inventory. I was going to say we could, if we were feeling really generous. Yeah. No, it's crazy. I was going to say we could send them. We could send, no, we could send each of them a Kinto Tumblr. That's true. We can. Cause these are three women on the edge.

And as we said before, this operates as a water bottle, a flask, a thermos, anything. As we said before. Yeah. You really should be a QVC spokesperson. It's all I want. You know that. You don't miss a cue. By the way, did anyone see my modeling QVC work? I could be a QVC model at the fucking Kiki.

Oh, you were doing gorgeous work. With the rosemary and with the bottle and my nails and my neck. No, you did a great. What was the thing with the neck again? Nectar. Someone said nectar. Nectar. Nectar. Yeah, no, you did gorgeous work. Okay, everybody. You know what? It's Valentine's Day. Everybody's getting a Kinto tumbler. Lucky you.

And for number one, that's a reminder to book a therapy appointment. And Brian's going to have to pay for them. They're not getting the Kinto. Let me be clear. They're not getting the Kinto Tumbler kit. No, no, no. They're just getting the Kinto. Because that's too expensive. Yeah. Because I can't give everything away. I mean, that's a lot of money. And number two, you can sip on that while you're telling your mother, here's how it's going to work. And number three. Yeah.

I hope that just gives you just a gut of steel. Everybody needs a little something for themselves. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and also you can bash him over the head with it if you need to, if he gives you a problem. But the most important thing, this very important piece of advice, the most important thing when you talk to this homunculus is to be, you can't flinch.

Whatever happens with him, you have to be completely calm. You only have to be so strong and calm for six words long. And all you have to do is just look there. Yep. Because he's going to try and blow steam all over you. And you just have to shrug and just say, it's disgusting. And sit back down and put your headphones in. And that's it. And by the way, you will have done everyone in the office a favor. We will see you at the puppy bowl this weekend.

We will see what we're calling the love bowl, the lonely hearts bowl. We've got Trixie Mattel. Oh my God. We've got Naomi and Andy. And I just can't wait because these are these show we haven't had. Okay. So we have our kikis, we have this and it's, and we see people, but this is when we have a fun, fun, fun. This is fun, fun, fun. Yeah. So excited. Askronolive.com. You can get just a general admission ticket all the way up to

Meet and greet, cocktail box, everything. Yeah. Kit, I guess I should say, not box. Box, Kit. Whatever. Whatever.

They're all gorgeous. And by the way, they can keep ordering them. They can order whatever they want. Of course you can. It's just that while supplies last and they arrive when they arrive. And also if you can't see the show that night, just a reminder, you still have to buy your ticket if you want to stream it later. Yeah. It'll stream for I don't know how long, a week or something. We'll give them all the info. Definitely. All right, Dia. We should do the cliffhanger.

Let's do the cliffhanger, Ron. Okay. Who's reading? I can't remember. Who just read that question? Who read the last question? Dante, do you have any idea? I cannot remember. You did. You read it. If I had read it, I would have thrown up. Okay. Fair enough. So you'll do the cliffhanger. Okay. Fair enough. Dear Ron O'Brien, an impeccably curated guest. Not present today. Quite simply, you two are the best. Look no further than my CHIP status and Instagram engagement. Move over blue check mark. I've got a leopard print one. Oh.

To understand the depths of my fealty to Queen Rana and Lady Brianne. They wrote Brianne, but I said Brianne. Brevity is the order of the day, so we'll get right to it. I like this so far. I'm Lauren, a 33-year-old lady fruit.

I don't think that applies, but we're going to have to discuss the rules. We're going to figure it out. Recently married, more on that later, to my wife, Taryn. We met in San Francisco in 2018, and I live and lived in the Bay Area for years before moving back to my home state of North Carolina in March 2022. We spent the pandemic years in the most locked down cities in the U.S., San Francisco, Santa Cruz, and Palo Alto. We moved there for the candles. That's very funny. Ha ha ha ha ha.

The Palo Alto Candle. The Palo Alto Candle. I am a corporate attorney at a global firm, and Taryn is in-house legal at a large tech company. Oh, they're both lawyers to make sure you get this right. Get ready. Both of which have allowed us to permanently work remote. Upon arriving in Shiloh, we were foaming at the mouth of what the post-pandemic world had to offer. Invigorated and ready to create community and reconnect with numerous friends and family, we now had so close by.

We settled in quickly, me joining a fruity basketball league with friends, Taryn joining a book club full of actual readers that managed not to take themselves too seriously, and us buying our dream home.

Good. In the bold, stud, hottest neighborhood in mid-May, surrounded by neighbors we actually like. Sounds perfect. We planned a small wedding in Charleston for spring 2023. Nice. And we'll be on excited to blow it out and celebrate our love at full volume. What a nice paragraph that is. I love this. Then life happened.

Two days after moving into our home, my mother was diagnosed with stage four cancer and passed away in early January, 2023. Oh my goodness. That's a minute ago. It's very fresh. Oh, I'm so sorry, dear. To say this was a shock. Now, when did they move into the house? They moved in mid-May. So this all happened pretty quickly. Within a year.

To say this was a shock isn't an understatement. She was an active woman in her mid-50s, young. And so many have mistakenly assumed before. And as so many have mistakenly assumed before, I simply thought we had so much more time together.

In the months following her diagnosis, my mother's cancer spread to her brain and we watched this callous disease take away the vibrant, quick-witted person we loved deeply. My mother was the matriarch of my nuclear family, the glue for my extended family and a well-known and respected pillar in her community. In short, she was, initial caps, a woman of significance and my best friend. Oh, heartbreaking. This is killer.

However, true to form, my mother found a way to make me feel special and loved one last time. Understanding her time was limited, in December, she asked that Taryn and I exchange vows so that she could witness and celebrate our love with us. And we did just that. Our nuclear families flew into town, including my sister and brother-in-law from Japan. We put together a small vow exchange at our home within the week.

Although my mom was limited cognitively and physically, she was able to witness our vow exchange, sign a marriage license, and even gave Taryn and I some words of wisdom on marriage. It was a powerful but incredibly heavy day, and perhaps the most important day of my life thus far.

My mom passed knowing that I am loved, well cared for and surrounded by family, old and new, who will continue to support me in ways she no longer can. We are still going forward with our wedding in Charleston in April.

Taryn is South African and her entire extended family still lives there and already made arrangements, read travel visas, to attend. And it is incredibly important to her slash us that we celebrate with them, not to mention our friends and family that are invited to the wedding, but were not part of the vow exchange with my mom. So as I sit on my couch during my allotted three-week bereavement leave and watch the cursor blink at me expectantly, here are the questions that spring to mind.

How do I honor and make my mother part of this day too? First of all, I'm so touched that they sent us this letter, that they think so much of us to send us this letter. No kidding. Just want to say. How do I keep this day from being a nightmare for my father, whose entire world revolved around my mother, as he will suddenly be the only person at this wedding without a quote, somebody? Interesting, in light of the question we had a couple weeks ago.

Ultimately, how do I truly enjoy this day and celebrate with those with us when it feels like so many of my thoughts will be centered on who isn't?

There are, of course, a million other existential gut-wrenching questions that cycle through my brain on a minute-by-minute basis, but I understand those aren't really even meant to be answered and are ultimately just part of the grieving process. Somehow, asking this question feels like a small step in unraveling the rest of it. I've included some pictures of me and my wonderful mother and wife below. Kiss, kiss, Lauren. P.S.,

These are our real names. And what do I care? If you're listening to this, I trust both your taste and discretion. PPS, Instagram handle is at read33. I'm public. Come stalk me. Peep, peep.

I love these people, her especially, the one writing. Totally not necessary to read on air, although who doesn't love a compliment? You're just forced to read aloud. To me, the Ask Rana plus deep dive plus bitch sesh metaverse and its potential for storytelling is an even better version of Reese's Hello Sunshine Productions.

When the inevitable sale of your media empire occurs, I do hope you ask for a number that starts with a B. Now we're talking.

Well, I'm not reading that. I'm going to cut that because we're going to have to make that deal before they do. That's right. Otherwise, those girls will get there before us. Absolutely. I got to say, I'm looking at the pictures of these, of her with her partner and her with her mother. Beautiful. First of all, that is one hot couple. Yeah, they're very attractive. They are very attractive. Very attractive. And also, I love that they both wore. Me too. They're so like Charleston, honestly. Yeah.

And your mother looks so warm, happy, beautiful, at peace. And loving. And grateful and loving. Yeah. She looks like that day was everything she could have wanted. Yeah. Can you imagine looking that relaxed in the state that she was in? That's really beautiful. I am so...

impressed and devastated at the same time. And so impressed by this letter. What a wonderful girl you are. What a wonderful person. Your mother, Ray. I mean, every day you are the thing that she's most proud. I mean, look at the way you live. What more could she have wanted to be honest? So beautiful. We will answer this on page. You want to know something? Yeah. I'm getting like so many chills right now. You look at this.

southern mother with her southern lesbian daughter. Mm-hmm. And you see the joy in their faces and you think, it could really be this simple. Yeah, what's everyone talking about and worrying about and caring about? It could really be this simple. Yeah, just love the people you love the way they are. Marry the love of her life. Totally. Totally. All you really want, it's funny, what I was going to say before I said we'll answer it on Patreon is...

The thing about every day of your life, you are this example of this thing that is a part of her, but also how the look on her face is exactly what you said in the last paragraph, which is she knew she was going and she knew you were in wonderful, loving hands. And I can't think of what would be more meaningful to someone who loved you the way that she loved you to know that you were being loved and that she was passing you

to live the wonderful rest of your life. And that is something that you definitely gonna have to take into April with you, but we'll talk about it on Patreon. But I think that's a, you can see it all over her face that she wanted to see you get married because she wanted to sort of pass the baton. Beautiful, really beautiful. Thank you for writing to us and trusting us and sharing that with us.

Go to Ask Rana, excuse me, patreon.com slash Ask Rana. Yeah. Because I might feel totally differently when we answer this one. Yeah, I can't wait to flatten. I'm not sure what I'm going to be feeling. You never know where we're going to land. It's so true. It's so true.

We'll see everyone at the Puppy Bowl this weekend. Absolutely. The Love Bowl. Absolutely. And we love our audience. Can we say that? You're all our sweethearts this weekend. We really are. No, there's not one lonely hat in the carriage house because you're all our sweethearts. Too true.

I can't wait to eat a chip and a dip right live on. I'm going to chip and dip. I'm going to dip your chip. When you think about it, Lonely Hearts really is the occasion to eat an onion dip because you probably wouldn't do that with your Valentine necessarily. But at Lonely Hearts, you would. I'm going to make a bowl of onion dip. Sardines. I can't wait. I'm going to eat sardines and dog vomit. Absolutely. Our idea. Kiss, kiss. Kiss, kiss.

Hey.

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