Dean Lives The Bream
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It's time to take the quiz. Five questions, five minutes a day, five days a week. Take the quiz every weekday at thequiz.fox and then listen to the quiz podcast to find out how you did. Play, share, and of course, listen to the quiz at thequiz.fox. It's Livin' the Breen with host of Fox News at Night, Shannon Breen.

All right, this week on Livin' the Bream, we're doing a little bit of role reversal here. I am Shannon Bream, but I am not your interviewer today. I'm your interviewee because my bestie, Janice Dean, was like, hey, can I come on your podcast, which she's done before? And she's like, but I want to interview you. Right. So I feel like it's a little funky, but let's do it. Of course. Well, you have a big book.

That has come out Living the Bream No that's my podcast You know what It's called Finding the Bright Side But I wanted to do How I Clawed My Way to the Middle For real as my title That's what you wanted? Yes and the publishers were like No How I Clawed My Way to the Middle Has anyone asked you about that? No

But I love that idea. And they were like, that's not funny. We're good. I love that idea. You're not doing that. Maybe that's my next book. Why don't you put it like an asterisk on it when the paperback comes out? I know. And yeah. And so if this one doesn't totally tank and they let me write another book, maybe the next one is How I Clubbed My Wife. I actually love it. I just want to point out that this is radio, but I wanted to let everyone know that because...

Shannon is my bestie, and we're doing this. I brought some snacks. I brought popcorn. Oh, my gosh. I love it. JD and I are into the snacks. Yes, we love snacks. I also have milk chocolate, dark chocolate. Oh, my gosh. I like the milk. We're totally covered. You like the dark? I do like the dark. This is good stuff right here. I have licorice. Oh, I thought you were going to say liquor. Well, that's coming later.

I was going to say, knowing us, that's the little part. This is a different podcast. It's still early right now. When we're recording this. But hey, your workday is kind of toward the end. Mine hasn't started yet. That's the problem. There's no day drinking on this podcast. And then there's cookies here. Oh!

Who doesn't love a cookie? And by the way, it's National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day. Well, here's the thing. I don't know if it's controversial, but I think it's National Chocolate Chip Day. It's not even Cookie Day. But no, it's also National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day. I Googled it. That is weird. Very confusing. Why are you doing this to us? I think there should be two separate days. Right, because then you could celebrate chocolate chips twice. I know. I don't know what's going on. Okay, licorice. Some more licorice and then Brookside chocolate stuff. See, now I like...

I like the chocolate-covered fruit because I count that as a serving of fruit. Of course we do. And if you're having dark chocolate, it's got antioxidants. It's like taking a morning vitamin, this chocolate bar that I'm going to eat during this podcast. Of course. It says the daring ball of smooth dark chocolate with a fruit-flavored center. I don't think of candy as daring. I don't either.

But okay. Right? I mean, let's go all out. Okay, so the book. Oh, you have gone all out. This is a snack smorgasbord. It really is. We'll post a picture on our social media, which is what Shannon and I also do in our spare time. Yeah. And you know what? The most exciting of our social media are things that, they're the ones that don't end up on social media. You told me a story yesterday at lunch that I'm never allowed to mention again. Oh, that's right. Or people will be murdered. Right.

Yes, I would have to kill you. There are some things that we don't put on social media, which I know people are going to find hard to believe because we so overdo it on social media. Maybe it's the title of my next book. You're going to get yourself in so much trouble. You know what the title is without knowing the story? I know who you are. Oh, so inside baseball. Let's talk about Finding the Bright Side. Okay.

How do you feel? This is day two. Yeah. Right. It came out yesterday. And by the way, we're going to go to a bookstore after this podcast so that we can record on social media. You seeing your book in the bookstore. If we can find it. We did that with you. And it was super exciting. It was so fun. It was one of my favorite things I've ever posted. It was so, so fun. Yeah. So, you know, you take forever putting this thing together and writing the stories. And you were very open in your book.

And, you know, I'm pretty transparent with some tough things in my book, too. And it's weird because then you're like, oh, my gosh, I'm so vulnerable. This stuff is out there. Complete strangers are going to read it. Now, I mean, I wrote it so that I would hope people would be encouraged because I share some pretty dark stuff in my book. You did, too. But you do feel a little weird when it's actually out there and you're like, oh, people know all this stuff about me now. The anticipation of it, I found, was great.

Yeah, because some of the stuff that I wrote about, my husband didn't even know about. When he read it, there was one particular chapter that he wanted to read by himself, and I could tell the next day. Not that he looked at me differently, but it was sort of like, oh my gosh, I feel so bad that I wasn't there to help you. Yeah. So, I mean, my husband too, I dragged him through the writing process because some of the toughest stuff in the book involves him. Mm-hmm.

And you know when you're editing, the editor would say, I need to know more about how that conversation went or what he was feeling or what was going on. Because I talk in the book about him going through a brain tumor and us going through that together. And so you find you've lived through things, and I'm sure you felt the same way with some of your things in the book. You've been through it, and you've sort of survived it and gotten to the next chapter. And so you've kind of closed that. When you have to write about it, you go, and it's like you're pullbacking.

pulling this scar off, this scab off of the wound and reliving it. And you forget how painful it was at the time. So, you know, the writing process is a little difficult, but I do hope that people will say, you know what, I'm in a tough spot or I'm in a dark place, but I read this and I think, you know what, there's hope. I can pull myself out. I can get help. I can do things that will get me to the other side. And that's the main reason I think you and I both wrote the book, wrote our books, is

Because I remember going through a really dark period of my life, and all I wanted to do was read about someone overcoming challenges. I really—I craved those types of books or movies or articles about people that had struggles or challenges, but they overcame it. And I think that that's the point of both of our books, Very Sunny Bright Side, is that someone can look to someone for—

advice or how they got through something and feel like they're not alone. Yeah, exactly. Because there was a point in your book, there's a point in my book too, and both of us had serious physical challenges where I felt like I was completely alone. And you can be, for me, I was dealing with chronic pain and exhaustion and it went on for months and months, got into a couple of years and

And you're not in your right mind then. I mean, you're so frazzled and just literally trying to survive one day at a time, one doctor appointment at a time. And I think that it's good for people to look at us and know like we're happy, generally sunny disposition people. But we've been in dark places, but we found ways through that. And so people don't look at us and think like, oh, your life has always been so easy. No wonder you're so happy. No, we've been through bad stuff. We know you're going to go through bad stuff. If you haven't already, everybody hits that in life.

But it's okay. I mean, you will make it through. Talk about that because you open the book up with being in front of a lot of people and still going through the chronic pain or coming off the other side of a serious operation and how that you relied on your mom. I think that's such a wonderful story. I also talk about the fact that it doesn't matter how old you are, you're always going to need your mom.

So step me through that, why you opened the book with that specifically being in front of a crowd and admitting to them that you were going through a tough time. Yeah, and listen, I don't know how to write a book. I don't know what I'm doing. But the publisher said to me, like, we really need something in the beginning that's super personal that will grab people and kind of bring them right into where you are.

And so I talk about the fact that I've had this years-long struggle with a genetic cornea condition that's really, really painful. Essentially, when I was in the worst of it, I was tearing my cornea all the time, every day, every night. And nobody could tell me what was going on and what was wrong. I just knew that I felt like a knife was being scraped across my eyeballs all the time. And I just...

I was literally surviving like one hour at a time during the worst of this. So I'd been through years of that and a couple of doctors who couldn't help me, one who told me I was too emotional and which I was most certainly emotional, but finally getting to a doctor after a lot of prayer and saying, God, if you're not going to heal me, which I understand is not always the plan, please heal me.

please just send me someone to help me. And I found this great doctor. And that first visit, he said to me, I know exactly what you have, which was huge relief. But by the end of the appointment, he said, you should know there's no cure for this. And that,

spun me further down than I thought I ever could go because I thought I literally want to run to my car and drive it off a bridge. I cannot live like this anymore. And I really prayed in my car at that moment. Like I, I have nothing to live for. I'm completely falling apart. God, if you're there, I need your help. And,

and feeling that he said to me, "I'll be with you. I'm gonna walk you through this. I'm gonna be with you. I've never left you through all the worst moments. I'm with you." And that gave me enough resolve to go back and work with this doctor who said, "Listen, I can't cure you, but there are things we can do." And one of those things eventually years down the road was this surgery. Now, it's not a cure, but it's pretty close. I'm doing really well, but for a long time my vision didn't come back and it was terrifying because he couldn't explain why I wasn't healing.

and where my vision was. So for months, something that should have cleared up within a couple of weeks, I couldn't see. I couldn't drive. I was launching the brand new show at 11 p.m. I couldn't read the teleprompter. I couldn't read my notes, my computer. I couldn't recognize people in the hallway. I mean, it was terrifying. So I had this speech that I was giving to go, which is the beginning of the book, and I literally said to the lady when she was walking ahead of me too far, I was like,

please don't leave me because I really can't see. And she's sort of laughing uncomfortably. I'm like, no, really, I can't. My mom went with me that weekend to help me. And I called her my seeing eye human because she really was getting me from point A to point B. I didn't I wanted to cancel the speech. I did not want to go because it was supposed to talk about my faith and about my work. And I thought I am falling apart. I'm barely holding myself together. And I said to Sheldon, my husband, I just going to cancel. These people are understanding. He's like, no, you're not.

You're going to go there and you're going to be transparent and be honest with these people that you are hanging on by a thread, but your faith is keeping you going. You just want to be honest with them. And I went and so I couldn't even see in that room their faces. I couldn't see the clock. I was supposed to be watching the keeping time. And I said, all right, I'm going to just show up and be honest with these people. And it was the best thing I could have done because I'm sure you've experienced this too. People, when you're vulnerable and you say that you need help, they will reach out to you and they will. It could be strangers.

they just want to comfort you and say like you're not alone which is what we're all looking for. How did you open up that speech?

I think I was pretty honest with them. Say, like, listen, when I booked this speech to come here, I was going to come share all these wonderful things and make jokes about myself and all the things I normally do. But I just have to be honest with you. I'm really struggling today. And I just want to open up with you about that. I know this is going to make sense in retrospect when I'm down the road. But I'm really having a tough time right now. But here's why I believe there's purpose in this and that in some way it's going to produce good. Wow.

Yeah. What a moment. It was. And afterwards, people just stayed for an hour, a line of them, to pray with me, to hug me, to say, I'm struggling too. Would you pray for me? And it was just, I would have never gotten what I needed at that moment, which was all of that encouragement and love from people if I hadn't been honest. You never know what somebody is going through. You don't. You know, I think that's a lesson we all need to remember every single day is I try to do that, is just be kind because someone's fighting a battle you know nothing about. Right.

Like the guy who spilled coffee all over me this morning on the street in New York. Oh, my gosh. Well, it splashed in my face. It was like I need a little windshield wipers on my glass because my coffee dripping down my glasses. He didn't stop either, but I was like, okay, who knows? He might be in a huge hurry. Right. Maybe he's got an emergency. Or not. Or not, but I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Well, it's because you're a better person than I am. You would have tripped him. Yes. Talk about your faith because –

you know, I love you. I've known you for a long time. We're good friends, but I seek prayer from you. I feel like your faith, I, you know, we all have faith. We all, we all should have faith and believe in something higher than us. But when did that start for you? And I know that it's important, but sort of put it in perspective of your life, like how it guides you every day. I grew up in a home where my mom and

and dad, even though they split when I was very young, faith was still a really big part of our home, especially when it was just my mom and I for several years growing up together. And so I learned about the Bible. We were in church. I learned the Bible stories, the verses. And I found throughout my life, they've really come back at tough times and important times where I'll remember a promise like cast all your cares on God for he cares for you.

or be anxious for nothing, take everything to him in prayer. And those things, I think, especially since I started them so young and being in church from a young age, it really meant a lot to me. And it comes back in those moments that you really need it. You don't maybe even remember memorizing that verse in Sunday school as a little kid, but it's always kind of tucked away there. And for me, I just was always involved in church. I

I went to a school that was a religious school as well. So I was getting great teachers who really cared about me and saw me, you know, not just as a student because, listen, I think teachers are the hardest working people in the world. My mom was a teacher. But there was also the spiritual component about encouraging us in our faith. And I think that's important when you have little kiddos who have questions. And so for me, it's a daily thing because I know that I'm a flawed, sinful human being. I need forgiveness.

forgiveness every day. Thank goodness. You know, my, I beg to differ. Listen, my Christian tradition of faith, I believe that forgiveness is there for all of us. And so, I mean, the worst of the worst, the best of the best, we all need help. And I pray every day and I read in my Bible and study and try to say, you know, what's your purpose for me? How can I help someone else today? How can I show them your love and your truth?

And for me, I need to stay there and stay rooted there. This business is crazy. This world is crazy. And so for me, it's a daily comfort and it really is my compass kind of through life. Do you look for signs?

I feel like I do see them sometimes. You know, when I'm really struggling with something, I remember I write in the book about how I used to sit in my sunroom when I couldn't see after my surgery and things were really just blobs and hazy. And I would sit there and sometimes for hours trying to read. I love that sunroom, by the way. I love the sunroom. We've had some fun in that sunroom. We have. We have some good times.

But sitting there eating snacks, usually we are, or a cup of coffee, but I would look out the window, I'd look over the little bookcase, just trying to see if I can distinguish anything. And I remember at one point seeing this bright red cardinal and being able to see it and focus on it and being like,

That's such a beautiful thing in creation, this bright red cardinal. And I feel like in some way it was an encouragement. Like you can see this. There's beauty in creation. I'm here with you. And I always think of that when I see a cardinal now because there's a little path by my house that I go jogging. And I feel like I've seen so many cardinals this spring. And I'm like, I love it. It's just kind of a reminder that creation is beautiful and it all kind of works together. And, you know.

So the pageant stuff, I mean, I'm fascinated by it. I did a little modeling. Oh, you have gorgeous pictures. I did not do it for very long. Enough time to get some really good pictures of me hungry. Weren't you so hungry? I look at that time in my life and I'm like, I looked great. Look, I have abs there.

I have abs now. They're just covered. But back then I was like, I'm so hungry when I see that picture. Oh, I know. We did. We starved ourselves. I don't look happy at all. How did you get into that? How did you get into that world? Well, this is the thing. I watched Miss America growing up. I watched it with my mom and my grandma. We'd be like, oh, this one's so beautiful. I thought everything looks so glamorous, like these evening gowns. It was like Dynasty, like glittering and whatever. Shoulder pads. And they sounded so smart. They would ask him these hard questions. And I was like, how did you do that?

they know everything. I loved it. I thought this was so glamorous. And I thought one day, I mean, I was a cuckoo kid with big glasses and reading my books all the time. I was a nerd, but there was some weird part of me, even as a weirdo nerd that was like, I think I'll do that one day. Nobody would have looked at me and be like, Oh, that's cute. You know, like that's not ever going to happen. Did you tell your mom early on that you might want to do it?

I think she knew that. I thought it was super glamorous. And, oh, I want to be like those girls one day. So when I was in college, I did my very first pageant that led into Miss America. So you have to do talent and the whole thing. And I felt like, why not? I'll give it a shot. I knew there was scholarship money. We didn't have money growing up. So I borrowed dresses and heels and jewelry, the whole thing, to put this thing together. I did my very first pageant. It was the local pageant. And I bombed out.

Because I was playing the piano and I had total stage fright in the middle of my song. I just forgot it. And then I just looked out at the big dark auditorium and was like, do I run off the stage? Do I try to finish this song? It was terrible. What did you do? I finished the song. How long was it? The best I could. It's only two or three

minutes long but I was like so stage frighty um and so I ran off the stage and cried because I was so embarrassed I still finished I was one of the runner-ups and so I was like well the talent I obviously stunk at that part but I'm gonna work on this other stuff so I thought my mom was sort of like that was nice try honey maybe that's not your thing thing like she's really sweet about it but the guy who cut my hair ran a different local pageant he was like you really should get right back on the horse you're gonna be scared if you don't try it again whatever do it

I love him so much. He's in the book. So about a month later, I did the thing. And again, I borrowed all the stuff and did my thing. And I got through the song and I won that pageant. So then I went to Miss Virginia later that year. And I thought, I just want to make top 10 because this is a secret. But in pageant world, if you don't make the finalists that they call everyone who's standing there when they close the curtain, they call it booger row. Okay.

And no one wants to be on Booger Row. And I was like, I'm going to be on Booger Row. I'm 19. I don't remember Booger Row in the book. I didn't put it in the book because it's not real classy. I love it. But Booger Row, no one wants to be on that. So I was like, I just want to make top 10. That's it. Because it's my first time doing this big fancy pageant, Miss Virginia, that leads to Miss America. So as the night goes on, they keep cutting down. I'm still in it. I'm like, well, this is good. But you don't want to be like first or second runner up because then there's just too much pressure on you the next year if you come back.

So just I was I had avoided Booger Row and I didn't want to finish too high. So it gets down to the last people. And I'm like, they've called all the good people like who among these people left is going to win this thing. This is this is rigged. I don't agree with the results. They called my name and I was like, what? I mean, literally in the video, I'm like me, like looking at them like, did you get the spelling right?

So it was just such a shock to me. And I only had a few weeks to get ready for Miss America then. So it all happened really quickly. What were the lessons in that? There is this sticky stuff that you can put on your hiney. And it keeps your swimsuit from riding up. Wow, I wanted like a deeper thing, but...

thing, but I even love this better. I know you're going through something philosophical, but there's sticky stuff you can put on your hiney underneath your swimsuit and then it won't ride up. It's called firm grip. Firm grip. Firm grip. Yeah. I had some fiascos with that early on because the first time I heard about it, I did not know. And I told my mom like, hey, I heard these girls talking about this firm grip stuff. It's at a sporting goods store that players use it like on their hands to grip the ball or whatever. And she's like, I'll go get some. So I'm backstage in my first pageant and I have a white swimsuit

Which is always hard to pull off. Wow. I mean, this is back before cellulite. I was 18, 19 years old. Whatever. So I pull up my white swimsuit and she sprays it on my cheeks.

And I'm about to let go. And she's like, don't drop your swimsuit. Well, she had sprayed it. It was like a big black and brown sludge on my hiney. She didn't know there was a clear form of this firm grip stuff and like a dark brown color. Oh, my gosh. And I had to like scrub, scrub, scrub trying to get it off. But then they're yelling like, get on stage for the swimsuit. So it looked like basically I pooped in my white swimsuit going on stage. Wow.

It was terrible. This podcast is really taking a detour. It's too much information. But that may also be why I did not win that pageant. That was not flattering. But no, I mean, more importantly, I learned that there are terrifying things in life. Because to me, to get up and play the piano in public is terrifying. But you just do it. Yeah. You know, and it's okay if you fail. I'm glad you told me that story because last night we took Matthew to, it's called NISMA here in New York.

where if your kids play a classical instrument, like a piano, or he also plays cello, you can take them to get graded by judges, right? And I think it's a good way for kids to get experience in doing these kinds of things. Well, last night, and he's such a great piano player. I've sent you videos. Yeah, I know. He's so cute. I think he froze, like you said. It's hard. And I was watching him in the glassware.

the glass and I wanted to run in there and take him out of there because I could tell he was getting upset. He was almost in tears. I felt like this judge was like being mean to him. And I, it took everything for me not to do it. And when he came out, I could tell he was, he was discouraged. Um,

And I said, how'd it go? He goes, not great, Mama. And I was like, you know what? Just that you showed up, my friend, is so important. And that was the lesson. But man, it took everything for me. You want to protect him. Hearing you tell this story, though, even at a young age, I know it's a lesson for him. He is such a great piano player. And I asked him afterwards. I'm going to start crying because I was just like, my husband was there, too. Oh, he's precious. And I was just like, oh.

Would you do it again, buddy? And he said, yeah, I think I would. See, that is amazing. Yeah. For him to know it can be terrifying and not go the way that you hoped, but you're willing to put yourself back out there. It's such a great lesson. And the earlier that you learn that, I mean, that's amazing because that's a lot of pressure for a young guy like him. Oh, yeah.

So I'm glad he did it and that he wouldn't give up. Yeah. I'm going to tell him the story. Maybe not about the grip tape. The spray. No, he doesn't need to know about that. He's young and impressionable. When did you start finding that you were a bright side kind of gal? Do you think you were born with it? Yeah, I think I sort of was. And people have made fun of me a lot over the years, like especially when you're

you're a teenager and you're supposed to be so emo and goth and not cool. And I'm bouncing around like, good morning, everyone. And they're like, shut up, you idiot. You know, like when it wasn't cool to be sunny, like you're supposed to be sneaking cigarettes and wearing purple eyeliner and being crazy. I just was sort of always the Pollyanna weirdo. But I say in the book, like people have called me worse. So if they want to say like, I'm too cheery. And you know, when I was doing the show here with Bill Hemmer in New York,

doing the morning show with him, I would sing all the time and I don't think about it because I just do it. And he's like, Bream, Bream. Like you're driving him crazy. Right. And I always do it more. I always call it Fri-yay. And he's like, you're mispronouncing it. I love him so much. But I realize like sometimes I'm a little bit much for people, especially in the morning. That's why we love each other, I think. I know because we're the same. We're two peas in a pod.

They're wrapping us up and I'm just like, what? We have so much more to talk about. Okay, but now we're going on our field trip. We are. We're going to go to the Barnes & Noble here and find Finding the Bright Side. We're going to find Finding the Bright Side. We are. Now on sale. And we're going to eat snacks and to be continued because there's so much other stuff I wanted to cover. I know.

I know. But that's why you have to buy the book because there's so much great stuff in there. Shannon Bream is the real person, the real deal that you see on television and the reason why I love her so much and she's my bestie. Janice Dean, the weather machine. Oh, I guess. Oh, I like that. I know. Should you wrap this up or should I wrap this up? Okay, I will. Thank you for joining us on this week's Living the Bream. Living the Bream. Janice Dean, the weather machine. On to more shenanigans now. Check us out on social media. Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo.

Hi, everybody. It's Brian Kilmeade. I want you to join me weekdays at 9 a.m. East as we break down the biggest stories of the day with some of the biggest newsmakers and, of course, what you think. Listen live or get the podcast now at BrianKilmeadeShow.com.