Demi-Leigh Tebow Found A Crown That Lasts
23:40 Share

This episode is brought to you by Experian. Are you paying for subscriptions you don't use but can't find the time or energy to cancel them? Experian could cancel unwanted subscriptions for you, saving you an average of $270 per year and plenty of time. Download the Experian app. Results will vary. Not all subscriptions are eligible. Savings are not guaranteed. Paid membership with connected payment account required.

It's Live in the Bream with the host of Fox News Sunday, Shannon Bream. This week on Live in the Bream.

We have a true Miss Universe. Now, when I say that about my friends and family, it's because I love them so much, but today it's for real. And here's the important part. That's the last thing that she wants to be her identity tied up in. And so that is our jumping off point, but she's got a brand new book. She is a speaker. She's a philanthropist. She is a woman who is somebody to be admired. And you are going to love this new book in our conversation today with Demi Lee Tebow. Her new book is...

A crown that lasts. You are not your label. Demi, great to have you with us on Live in the Bream.

Oh, hi, Shannon. Thank you so much. That is such a great compliment, especially coming from you, Ms. Author yourself. So thank you for having me, Shannon. I appreciate it. Thanks for all the kind words. Well, listen, this book has been a long time coming and from your heart. And it's really about sharing your story, but really encouraging other people to find their path and to grow and to find their worth in something bigger. And

You talk from the beginning about, of course, this is kind of the entree into the room that a lot of people know you for is your time as Miss South Africa and Miss Universe and all of the things that you have done since then. But I love in the book that you start out talking about how, you know, walking off that stage when you crown the next young woman, you realize that so much of yourself was wrapped up in that title, in that job.

And the questions of what comes next, there was so much pressure with that that you talk about in the book at one point, you faked being your own assistant. So you could field these emails from people and say like, oh, she's just not taking those kinds of interviews right now because you felt such an overwhelming pressure to figure out who you were and what was going to come next.

That's right, Shannon. You know, I write that story in one of the chapters, the full story, but I was so fearful of that what's next question, Shannon. And so much so, like you said, that I think being my own assistant, just so that I could dodge that question immediately.

I handed over that title, that crown, and I realized that I forgot something. As I was on my way rushing to the airport after handing over my title in Thailand, heading back to South Africa, I realized I forgot something. And I checked I had my passport. I checked I had my jewelry or some of my personal belongings that were important. But I still felt like something was missing and

Shannon, I didn't find that missing piece for probably a year or two later when I realized that I had attached my worth and my value to a crown, to a physical accolade that was temporary, something that I had to give back. Now, Shannon, as believers, we are called to strive for excellence, striving for that corner office position.

striving for that dream job, that perfect university or college degree, whatever that might be, I think at some point or another, we have all strived for that.

for our own crowns that might be temporary. And the most important thing, the lesson that I have learned from that is that when we attach our identity to things that are temporary, we are guaranteed to go on a roller coaster at some point or another. For me, it was sooner rather than later of feeling insignificant, of feeling like we are not worthy, of questioning what

What do we actually attribute to society, to our relationships? And it just sends us on this roller coaster of essentially not feeling like we are enough. And for me, I had to go and realize, well, what is the thing that I get to root my identity in that

keeps it stable. And for me, that was actually not one thing, but four things. And it was something that is fixed, something that is never changing, something that is always trustworthy and something that is bigger than myself. And the only thing that I have been able to attribute that has been my faith, has been not just who I am or who I was created to be, but who my creator is essentially.

Yeah. And you talk about the journey you had. You mentioned a year or two really kind of finding your footing and realizing in some ways...

You were starting from scratch again and really reestablishing and finding out what was important and what your roots were. And there's a time of waiting. And you write about this in the book and you say, in the moments of waiting, we might feel like nothing good happens or that now is better. Waiting can seem like wasting time, but you have learned, you said, that there's a flip side to a waiting season. So there are actually benefits in that where we're kind of working out what our next steps are, who we really are, what's important to us.

there can be good in those points where we feel like we're just kind of stuck in neutral and everybody's had that experience. For sure. You know, Shannon, actually a story that I have loved reading in one of your books, Women of the Bible Speak, was a story of Ruth and Naomi. And I feel like Ruth's story is such a story of waiting, right? But through her willingness, through that waiting season, through her willingness to step up in obedience and do what she believes she is called to do in that moment,

through her willingness to just say, Lord, here I am, use me with what I have got, which wasn't a lot in her case, which was really nothing. I mean, she was picking up scraps out of the field just to be able to provide for her and her mother-in-law, Naomi.

You know, that story has inspired and encouraged me in so many ways that in our waiting season, we don't just have to wait. It doesn't just have to be a wasted season, but it can be your setup for your comeback season. So that's a story that I just love so much. And, you know, another, I write a

a whole chapter about this, but two other practical takeaways that I have taken from my waiting season. And Shannon, unfortunately, we only see these things in hindsight, right? In the moment. Exactly. So hard, right? Two other things that was really important in that waiting season was to take the focus off of myself, take the pressure off of myself. And one of the easiest ways that I got to do that was to go and serve someone else.

You know, that can look so different for all of us that can, you know, go and serve at your local soup kitchen. There's so many around New York City where I lived at the time that I just went and served other people. And it took the focus off of me, myself, putting that pressure on me to have it all figured out, even just for two hours. And it helped me gain so much perspective.

And the other thing that I, well, I didn't necessarily do this. I wish I had. I would rather say the lesson I learned was that I secluded myself from that waiting season. I didn't have a community of people around me that would point me back to the truth. And Shannon, I think one of the

the things the enemy does that he's so good at is he creates doubt in us. Doesn't necessarily tell us the lies straight up, but he creates doubt in us. And when we don't have a community of people that can point us back to that truth every single time, that can be a lot harder. And that was definitely something that was very hard for me. I was secluded and isolated in that season. And I wish I hadn't been.

Yeah, because it's hard sometimes to see the truth. Like you said, the enemy will come after us with doubts and with lies about who we are, about our situation. And when you have that network of community of people who can speak truth to you, like, hey, listen, let's get out the door. Let's, you know, you talk about even forcing yourself like to just go have a coffee. I mean, sometimes just getting out the door and having conversations with people who are going to have some objectivity about your situation is just so helpful. We'll have more Live in the Bream in a moment.

Cudlow on Fox Business is now on the go for podcast fans. Get key interviews with the biggest business newsmakers of the day. The Cudlow podcast will be available on the go after the show every weekday at foxbusinesspodcasts.com or wherever you download your favorite podcasts.

Again, we're talking to Demi Latebo about her book, A Crown That Lasts, You Are Not Your Label. You share so many personal things in this book. Some of them are terrifying. Some of them are really heartwarming, but they're honest. And you talk in the book about how

It's not really helpful for us to not be transparent. I mean, I find this is true, too, when you're vulnerable. That's when you actually connect with people and you're able to help them in their own situations, which you really see throughout the book. You talk about your sweet sister who is in heaven now and the struggles and even sort of the questions that you had about why God would allow her to be born and

and to struggle with these physical challenges the way that she did. And then for her to be gone so young. And I think it's important for people to see that they would look at you and see a woman who has a strong testimony of faith and belief in all of those things. But we all struggle and God is not surprised or unaware of that. I mean, he knows that we're going to have questions and, you know, you're honest about having those.

That's right, Shannon. And it wasn't always easy to be honest and vulnerable about these situations. You know, I just shared with you that I pretended to be my own assistant to avoid some of those situations.

Questions that can unlock a lot of vulnerability. You know, Shannon, my sister was born with severe special needs and a lot of disabilities. And her life story has been so impactful. And there has been so much purpose in her short 13 years on this earth. And, you know, 1 Corinthians 13, 12 tells us that for now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. For now we know in part, but then I will know fully just as I have seen.

been fully known. And, you know, what Paul really writes about here is he's looking at these like kind of poorly made mirrors that that's a lot of times scholars believe were made out of like brass. You know, imagine looking at, I love anthropology and all their

cute like day floor that they have. And they have these like vintage looking mirrors, but they're actually just useless because you can't really see in them, right? Like they're all like, you know, that vintage, they're so beautiful. But this is what Paul's telling us. He's like, you're looking in a mirror and you are just seeing a shadow. You know, that's what he's telling us as believers. He's saying, you don't see the full picture now, but they in

And face to face, when we are with our maker, we will have a better understanding. And that is really one of the ways that I have learned to look at my sister's life. I have seen so much purpose in her life, but I know that it is just a glimpse.

of her life's purpose. Frania, my little sister, was actually my and my husband Tim's matchmaker, believe it or not. So thanks, Stacey, for that one. My love for people with special needs obviously stemmed from my sister and her life story. And my husband, Tim, has been serving and loving people with special needs and disabilities for

gosh, decades at this point. One of the initiatives that the Tim Tebow Foundation has is called Night to Shine. And it is a worldwide celebration for people with special needs and disabilities all around the world. I think we have 56 countries and 725 locations up to date. And through Night to Shine and through my little sister, that is how Tim and I met. And so it's

I write about the whole story pretty much in detail in the book, too. So I'm excited for you to read that part. Yes, it's really sweet to think about what is such a special common bond and love that you guys have. And you do travel the world doing all kinds of special events and pouring into, you know, special resources and facilities for folks. And it's a beautiful story.

to see how God brought you guys together on that and with the help of your sweet sister too. What I thought about the book is there's a lot of practical stuff. You have sections here. So dig right in.

plant, grow, and then flourish. And so in each of these sections, you're not just telling your story, but you're helping people walk through how they figure these things out for themselves. There are reflections and prayers and questions that I always think that's really helpful to give people sort of their own action steps. So it's not like they're just an outsider reading this entertaining, fascinating story, but they're also figuring out their own story.

Shannon, I wish I could tell you, I picked specifically that analogy, dig, plant, grow and flourish because I have a great green thumb. But unfortunately, that's not the case. I literally have self-watering planters in my house. But I do love plants and I am a very practical person. And it was so important to me that my readers get to go and read this book, maybe read some of my life stories, examples.

but to go and apply that to their own life. That was something that was just truly so important to me from the get-go. And that's why I divided the book into these four sections.

You know, before we get to go and plant new seeds of truth in our life, we have to sometimes go and uproot the weeds of doubt. We have to go and untangle those, you know, messy, tangled roots of our identity before we can go and plant those new seeds of truth. And I want my readers to know how I did that in my own life and the lessons that I have learned. And by no means do I have it figured out or perfect. There's so many...

I feel like ways that I don't necessarily feel worthy of sharing the message in this book, but I do feel so called Shannon and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to do that. Yeah. And again, this is all in Demi Latibo's new book, A Crown That Lasts. You are not your

Your label. Towards the end, you start to talk about striving for excellence, not perfection. And you detail in the beginning of the book just how determined you were about goals, whether it was grades or sports teams or becoming Miss Universe, that you were a hard worker. Where things didn't come naturally, you put in the work and you say, listen, we're responsible. Sometimes there's a waiting period, but we have to be working and doing and those kinds of things.

But trying to get to perfection is really unnerving for people and unsettling because we can't get there. But you talk about striving for excellence, and that may be whether you're called to be in the home or be in the business world or whatever your sphere of influence, your passion, your heart, whatever God has directed you towards. It's about excellence, not perfection.

That's so true. You know, when Tim and I just got married, we got three puppies very soon. I am amazed, by the way, by these three big doggies who are so cute. If people follow you guys on social media, you'll see them. But I'm like, I could barely handle one puppy at a time. So you guys are amazing. There is a country song, I think, that says she went out to buy a dog and came home with three. And that's very much I took that pretty

Pretty much literally. You did. But, you know, Shannon, I love a green home. I love my floors to be shiny. I love my furniture to be dog hair free. And well, dogs, that's just not the case. And, you know, one day Tim looked at me and he's like, Demi, just be present. Don't try to be perfect.

You know, I was so kind of taken up with making sure that the guest bathroom has a toilet paper roll extra and that the hand towels were washed for our guests or that things were just perfect all the time. And Tim reminded me, said to me, you know what? These people are grownups. If the toilet paper run out, surely they can ask for more. And, you know, if they get dog hair on their clothes, there's a lint roller for that.

Everywhere. Land rollers everywhere. Every door. In our house. Mm-hmm.

Right, right. Well, now I have a sign at our front door that says, welcome. I hope you like dog hair. Oh, I need to get one. I mean it. So, you know, trying to be perfect reminds me of also trying to rely on our own confidence, our own self-confidence. And, you know, when I look at the word confidence, truly, if you break it down, what it really means is to have full trust in

And when I try to have self-confidence, I'm saying, hey, Demi, you're trying to have full trust in yourself. And Shannon, I don't know about you, but man, I mess up and I fail every single time I try to rely on self-confidence.

And I've had to realize, girl, you better go and change out that word because it's just not working for you. And I've had to realize that I get to not have self-confidence. I don't really need it because I get to have God confidence. And what that means is that we get to look at our Lord and Savior, at all of the promises, not just that He has made, but that He has so beautifully kept us.

throughout our lives and throughout history. And that's why we get to have confidence in him, not just because he's a promise maker, but because he is a promise keeper. And we get to have full confidence, full trust in who he says he is and the promises that he has made for each and every one of us.

Yeah. And it does take the pressure off of us because our world is now so self-centered. I think we've just gotten increasingly worse on that, but people don't seem happier. So there's more of, you talk about this too in the book about how we want everything quickly. There's access to everything. We're told to make ourselves happy and to put the focus on ourselves. And I think, you know, sometimes

you can enjoy that for a little bit, but there comes a point where it's just sort of a dead end. And then you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Am I getting enough likes? Do I have enough friends? Do I, you know, real or imagined digital friends, virtual friends?

Um, am I keeping up? And it is just, when you get to the point that you realize, like you said, like kind of the end of our own power that we can't, um, sustain ourselves through everything that we can't lift ourselves through everything. It's very freeing to think about it, not being about you. That's right. That's so true. It really is. Um, I so agree with you, Shannon. Um,

just so grateful that we don't have to just have all of that confidence in ourselves, that we don't have to try to fit in. You know, one thing that I love, you talk about likes on social media is, is,

we don't always, and Shannon, you understand this out of all people, you don't always get to choose who speak about your life, right? But we do have a choice that we get to make about who we allow to speak into our life. And a friend once told me that she has a little pit crew of people in her life. And I look at like, when you think of a pit crew, right, those people that you need in a

not just the time of crisis, but in a transitional period, in periods where you need support. And something that my husband and I have really been trying to focus on is having a pit crew of wisdom around us. And we have very selectively picked people, pastors, friends that we know love us,

care for us and have our best interests at heart that we get to turn to to seek wisdom from. And we know that those people, because they love us, because they care about us, and because they have our best interests at heart, but most importantly, because they love Jesus, they are going to point us to the truth every single time. And so I just encourage you and everybody listening, just asking, hey, who's your pit crew? Who are the people that you are allowing to speak into your life?

And yes, I mean, such a wise and I think humble thing to do because you talk about how, you know, when opportunities are presented to you, there used to be a point where you thought like, oh, I got to take this or whatever.

wait, is this going to force me to compromise? Just kind of trying to feel like you have to, you don't want to miss opportunities. But when you stop and you talk about how you and Tim do get good counsel from people and gosh, it's so important, whether it's like a job or a move or a family decision or whatever it is. You know, I used to, you know, you have this thought as a younger person, like, oh no, I don't want to miss this opportunity. And it closes up and it goes away and that door slams.

But I think all of us with a little bit of experience and wisdom realize like, okay, God can hold any door open. He can close any door. And so if this isn't for us or if this isn't for me, there's a piece in that too. And again, that takes some of the pressure off. Like you were talking about it being, you know, God-centered life and not about us.

Again, we didn't even get to the most harrowing part of your book. And we've talked about this. I've heard you talk about this to your carjacking. It's something that you tell in such detail and it's such a vulnerable thing. Just one of the many stories that will just captivate people in this new book, A Crown That Lasts, You Are Not Your Label by Demi Lee Tebow. It is out August 13th. Congratulations. And I know that you pour your heart into this.

in the hopes of helping other people and guiding them to their purpose and to their meaning in life too. Thank you for sharing a little bit of it with us. Where can people find out about the book, about you and all that you're up to? Thank you so much, Shannon. I loved our conversation.

anywhere and everywhere, social media, my website, demi-tivo.com. It's an all the book stores that you find your favorite books in. So I'm excited for everybody that will get to read it. And thank you so much for this conversation again, Shannon. And once again, I am always so inspired by you and love reading your books and just all the wisdom that you share. So

Thank you so much for that too. Well, thank you. You know, I think that we agree, like there's so much learning process and humbling and inspiration that comes from working on a book like this. And I know you're poured your heart into this. So congrats. And we wish you all the best with it and hope you'll come visit again on Live in the Brain. Thank you, Shannon. Have a great day. You too. Listen ad-free with the Fox News Podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon Music app.

From the Fox News Podcast Network. I'm Ben Domenech, Fox News contributor and editor of the Transom.com daily newsletter. And I'm inviting you to join a conversation every week. It's the Ben Domenech Podcast. Subscribe and listen now by going to FoxNewsPodcast.com.