Modern Etiquette & Career Wisdom: Penny Nance’s Advice for the Next Generation
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It's Live in the Bream with the host of Fox News Sunday, Shannon Bream. This week on Live in the Bream, I think the timing could not be better for our special guest that we have today because it is all about advice and primarily to young women who are going into the workplace. Maybe you're restarting a career, a new career, a different career. Maybe you're coming back from time in the home.

Maybe you're just launching something new in your life, but we have somebody to give us some great advice today. Penny Young Nance happens to be the president of Concerned Women for America. And you've probably seen her on Fox and other places as she comments on the world and politics. She's busy on the Hill and at the White House. You can find her everywhere. And now she's got a new book, A Woman's Guide, Seven Rules for Success in Business and Life. Penny, welcome.

Great to be on with you, Shannon. Thank you for having me. And listen, you and I have been these young women. We have interned here in Washington. We have navigated trying to find a job here. And now a lot of times we're on the other end of doing the hiring for these jobs. And so I love that you have decided to kind of spell this out for folks. And it's really practical advice that some people may get growing up or you may get parts of it or maybe get none of it. Um,

you talk about in the book about how you came from a really humble background where you weren't going to fancy dinner parties and hanging out with VIPs and you had to learn this stuff along the way.

That's right. So I am a preacher's kid from Appalachia and grew up. I went to Liberty University as you did go flame flames. And and then I graduated and came up to Washington, D.C. and went into the big bad world. I got a job on Capitol Hill and I realized pretty quickly that I.

I did not have I didn't know all the roles. You know, I didn't grow up having even dinner with the mayor. I talk about at the beginning, my my my dinner in 2017 with President Trump. And I was talking about just how odd that was for me. I mean, I just never in a million years would have believed that I would have been in the position that God has placed.

put me in and I don't deserve but I'm so grateful for. And I talk about things that just along the way that I had to learn the hard way or that people, the other older women were kind enough to teach me but no one's born knowing. And so I honestly believe that I know that God has a plan for every person and I know that we are fearfully wonderfully made especially if you're a believer

that we are to be ready. Second Timothy tells us to be ready in season and out of season because God has a plan for your life. And so my goal in writing this was to help young women or a woman, as you said, who's reestablishing her career, a reset to kind of know some of the rules that maybe they didn't know along the way. Maybe their own mother, like my mother, didn't know them either. So she couldn't teach them to you and to help them avoid some of the just very simple mistakes that are often made.

Yeah, and there's really practical stuff in this little guide too. I'm looking at page 15 and it's got one of these dinners that maybe the first time you go to one, it's kind of a nightmare because there's forks and glasses and spoons and plates and stuff everywhere. And it may sound to some people like, okay, a little Victorian and outdated, but you don't know when you will have an opportunity to walk into something really special and different and unexpected.

And so even just practical things like in the book like that, they give you just a little bit of a heads up so that you can feel comfortable in any kind of situation that you're walking into.

Yes, I love you call it a little book because it is and it purposely is small. It's a thin book. It's a quick read. I didn't want it to be this heavy tome that would be too overwhelming that a young woman in college or high school isn't going to take the time to read. I was thinking, you know, I bet there's a grandmother out there that says they wish they could tell their granddaughter this information, but, you know, they're going to take it better from somebody else.

But yes, I have an actual diagram because what happened for me was when I was probably 12 or 13, there's a woman named Walsley Preston that was my godmother growing up and she taught me many of these things because my mother didn't know them. And I remember being with her and my family at a restaurant and there was more than one fork and more than one spoon. It wasn't nearly as big as what the diagram has there. But

even then, I didn't know which fork enough to use. You know, I was at a dinner when I first came to Washington, D.C. with a congressman who said, which one is my bread plate? He was the committee chairman. He's like, I always forget. And I showed him how to make the B and the D with his fingers and I have that in the book. So they know which one. And I

I just relaxed because I laughed to myself. My godmother, as they did back in the day, there was the Christian bookstore. She knew I needed to know this information because she believed in me. She believed that God had a purpose for my life even before I knew that.

And she went to the Christian bookstore and got the Christian charm course was the name of it. And she taught it to all the young girls on I think it was on a Sunday night, maybe before service or maybe it was a Wednesday night.

And taught us this charm. And it taught us a lot of these basic pieces of information, how to sit like a lady, how to shake hands. And some of this, I see it now in job interviews and things, very basic things that have just been missed. It's not the right place to correct. I would never do that, you know, in a job interview situation. But these are the things I wish I could tell those young women that they the mistakes they made. But I talk about at the very first of the book, I go back to this.

this. I started out with me going to the White House and putting on my high heels and my bright red lipstick. And I talk about being nervous, but I wasn't nervous about the setting. I wasn't even nervous about being with the president. I was nervous about being able to make the points to the president because I here I am. I ended up being seated right beside him to his right on his right hand. I was asked to

to bless the food. And I was very, very worried going into it about being able to talk to him about two key issues, really three. One was being able to point him towards the Lord, and I felt like I was able to do that in my prayer, to talk to him about the life issue and to thank him for the work that he had done and encourage him further, and talked to him about support for Israel.

prayed over all those things. I got ready and I went in and it occurred to me that the one thing I wasn't worried about was what fork to use or I wasn't going to be a distraction in the meal because that's the key. You want to make sure that none of these things, how you're dressed, how you talk, whatever it is, is a distraction from who you are and what opportunity you bring to the table.

And I was just incredibly grateful to my godmother, Walshley, for teaching me those things. And so I just wanted to pass that on to others.

Yeah, and the thing is, none of us know what circumstances that we'll end up in, but it takes away a lot of the nerves if you feel prepared. Like, okay, somebody gave me the inside scoop on what I'm supposed to say, how I'm supposed to shake a hand, what I'm supposed to do in an actual interview to make the best possible impression. And it's like giving people a cheat sheet. Like, okay, did I want this when I was 20 or 21 and I'm descending on Washington? Yeah, it'd be nice to just have a little cheat sheet on what...

And listen, some of this stuff is generational, but the fact is if somebody is interviewing you who is 10, 20, 30 years older than you, they're going to operate in the world differently than you do. And that comes to our devices and the way we dress and everything else. Not to say that there's anything wrong with the way that you're doing things, but if you want to impress somebody for the job that you're going for, speak to them with the manners and language and things that they understand.

And you'll be in that interviewing position one day too. And you'll be looking at younger people in the next generation saying like, oh my gosh, I see so much potential in this person. Maybe they come to me a little bit better equipped to maybe that extra copy of their resume or they thought through their references or different things that would have given them just a step ahead of some of these other folks.

They would have been better prepared. And I do think, you know, some folks are going to think some of this advice is old fashioned and that's fine. And maybe it is not for everyone. But I do think that there are things and nuggets all through this book that will help you, whether you're walking into a professional meeting, making a presentation, whatever it is that you're doing. Why not take every advantage that you can? Well, and I'm very clear. Yeah.

Yeah. And I'm very clear that this is this is advice for thing. For instance, I talk about professional dress. And when you get into a job and actually have gotten the job, it might be way more casual or whatever. I'm just telling you how to get your foot in the door. Right. First. And I've and I've.

I've seen some things. You maybe have, too. And, you know, I've seen young women sitting in modestly. I say in the book that if you can wear what you're wearing to an interview to the beach or to a club, it is the wrong thing. Pick another thing. Pick a different one. Yeah, it's not the right thing. And so just really giving that and even telling them how to get it inexpensively because you don't need to break the bed. Listen, I grew up poor. Like, I understand what it's like to start out poor.

And not have any money. And I'm like, borrow it from your friend. Is there one of your mom's friends that has nicer clothes you can borrow a blazer from? Go to a thrift store. You can get very inexpensive things at a thrift for $6. You can get a designer jacket. I mean, in a nice neighborhood, here's some, again, like you said, a little cheat sheet of how to do it.

But it is done with humor and it's done lovingly because I love these girls. We have about 350 young women for America chapters around the country. And they were primarily who I had in mind when I was writing this. And they are going to take on the world. I'm so inspired by them. I'm so encouraged by them. I believe like this next gen coming up, we're we're investing in them very heavily in every way, financially, our time, everything so that.

Titus 2 relationship so that they are ready to be the leaders of our nation and can do so in a principled way, in a godly way. And we want them to be their very best selves. So that was really what I had in mind. I wanted them to feel comfortable and to be able to, and they often do, they outshine

Others, just because of who they are. But again, there's little tips and things that maybe, you know, if your mom never only wore a uniform to work, she doesn't she doesn't know how some of the things to share with you.

And the thing is, I will give a ton of credit for the next generation on the thrifting. They're really good at this. They are good at it. My daughter taught me about thrifting. Right. I mean, they know how to find something that's original and beautiful and with a great price tag. And they might be able to teach us some lessons on that kind of stuff. Both our husbands would be happy if we could take some notes on thrifting. Yes, they wish we would take up thrifting. Yes. Upcycling, recycling. Yes. Shop in your own closet. I think that's the take they would have for us.

But it is because you have a heart for these young women and you care about them and want them to be successful. And you see the good in them and you're just trying to lift them up. And I think that's one of the things I love about you and my girlfriends like you, that they want to help other women. They want to help them get ahead and they want to cheer for them and be their best advocate. And I think that that's the spirit of this book is saying, absolutely, I had to learn some of this the hard way, but let me give you a little inside scoop. So you don't even talk.

about making conversation you know having topics that you can be prepared on not that it's stilted or phony but it is really good to have a few things to talk about you don't even know who you're gonna run into I've had this happen in the elevator before and having such a quick unplanned conversation with somebody I really would have liked to get some face time with and like did I even make

the most of that. I mean, do I know what's going on in the world? You know, just current events, topics and different things. So being well read, well informed, I mean, all of those things are going to help you in life, no matter what kind of situation you walk into, whether it's something you expected or something you didn't. We'll have more live in the Bream in a moment.

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How many times, Shannon, over the years have you ended up having this sort of this completely unplanned encounter with someone? I know about one of yours in a running path. And...

with the head of Planned Parenthood years ago. And with, and I, you know, or on an elevator, as you said, or whatever, at church or whatever, just sort of being polished enough and kind of knowing, just I call it an elevator speech, a little way to introduce yourself, to give people context of who you are so that you can say, and this happened actually years ago. I was shocked to watch it because it wasn't pre-planned.

My daughter was with me backstage at the March for Life and the at the time Reince Priebus was the head of the RNC. And I was I chatted with him and she stuck at our hand, introduced herself, told him that she was a student at Liberty University. She's very interested in policy and she'd very much love to talk to him or someone at the RNC about an internship.

And I was like, I mean, I was just blown away by it because, you know, I didn't see, I didn't know that she was going to do that, but she did. And she got the internship because she was brave enough and knew, had enough poise to move forward. But, you know, she didn't say anything that was,

mind-blowing. She said very simple things, but anybody could have done it. And you don't know who you're going to run into. You don't know who you're going to see. And be ready for that moment. Be prepared to shine in that moment. And I think God gives us opportunities that we don't expect. Those God appointments. And we need to be ready for them. Yeah. And to be able to approach people wherever they are, wherever you are, and just say like, hey,

I'm so glad I ran into you. Could I have a conversation with you about X? Can I meet with you for coffee? Yeah, at another time. Because those doors open and you just don't know where they're going to be. And I do think you talk about this in the book, too. Like a lot of young people feel lonely. They feel disconnected that so many of them are robbed of key years because of COVID lockdowns and those kinds of things.

A lot of their friendships and relationships or whatever you want to term those have been virtual, digital in nature. And so when they're thrust into this world, it always stands out to me when I meet a young person and they look you in the eye and they've got a smile and a firm hand shake and you think, okay, there's some level of confidence there. And sometimes you and I both know you got to fake it till you make it on the confidence Oh, absolutely.

But being able to sort of, you know, pull together whatever confidence you can find in there and make a great first impression. I feel for young people who have kind of been part of that experience was taken away from them. The ability to gain some of that interpersonal skill that everybody needs, whether it's work, home, life, church, you know, whatever you're doing in society.

Um, you know, so I try to have some grace, like, okay, these, these kids had a really tough time the last few years through high school and college and a lot that was just stripped away from them. And that's why this book may be helpful too. Yes. I rule that was rule six, be connected. And I, I was reading when I was starting to write this chapter and it's something I had noticed that there was, I believe just, um,

Loneliness is rampant in our nation and particularly around young people. And so it confirmed what my suspicions when I started looking at the statistics. 30% of Americans say they're very lonely. And when it gets to young single people, it can it even doubles in some cases. And so you have, you know, folks that.

for a couple or more years of their lives, they were robbed of community and the time to be in the ability to be together and grow together. And it took some things away from them, some time that they were supposed to be developing some of those skills. I think particularly our young men,

have are struggling because of it. I think sometimes because of online dating, you know, they they are they grew up swiping instead of having to square their shoulders and go up to a young woman and say, hey, would you would you like to have coffee?

And it takes some courage to do those things. And I tell women to be gracious in those moments, but they need it. They need to learn those skills because it helps them not just interpersonally, it helps them in their career to go after the thing that they want. And young women have a part to play in that as well. And so I really believe that we've skipped some steps on

on interpersonal relationships and tend to when we are lonely or even when we're bored and I've done this you know I'm we've joked about being up in the middle of the night scrolling instead of reading a book or you know something that would be reading my Bible being more helpful that

When they're lonely, they tend to recede into social media or into video games as opposed to calling a friend and spending time together and doing the activities that you really need to do in order to get to know another person and grow those deep roots. New friendships need time.

They need nourishing. And friendships will sustain us over the years, whether we're single, whether we're married, whether we're male or female. We need friendships. And many, I don't even know if I know one young woman that is...

you know, one of our YWA members that will say they never want to get married. They may say they want to get married later. They say, but they, but they do. Most of them want to get married and have children at some point. And so they're, they need to prepare for that now. They, and one way to prepare for that is through your friendships.

Yeah, they're so important and they will carry you through all of the good and the bad of life. But you're right, they do take some time and some tending. And I feel like there's such a short circuit for a lot of young people that it's not as easy for them to find those really solid friendships that do have depth and meaning to them. But they turn out to be one of the most precious gifts in your whole life. I mean, to be able to sit down over dinner and laugh and cry or whatever it is that you need to do. That's right. Just to have...

that tight group you don't need 500 friends you know if you've got five great friends that you can go through life with man that is a huge gift but it does take investment of time and kind of putting ourselves out there I saw someone talking about the other day like making new friends how awkward that is when you move to a new town or you change jobs and when you're the new kid whether you're 20 or 50 or 70 whatever it is there's always a period of adjustment but so much of what you talk about in this book

will help you too. Like you said, in your interpersonal and your relationships aren't just about finding that next job or promotion or making that kind of impression, but really in connecting with other people so that you have a good support network and people that will see you through the really tough times. Again, the name of the book is Seven Rules for Success in Business and Life. It's a Woman's Guide by Penny Young Nance. Where can we find the book, Penny?

You can come to ConcernedWomen.org, come to our website. It's right on the front page or go to Amazon and it's available there. And again, I think we really are excited to get this in the hands of young women so that we can help

build into them, encourage them, grow them. For Christians, you often know that Titus 2 principle, which the Bible teaches us in Titus 2, for the older women to teach the younger women. And we just want to encourage them and to help them shine and help them live out their best life and their purpose for their life that the Lord has for them.

Yeah, because all of us have had people along the way, like you mentioned your godmother and others who have poured into us. So for you and me, our generation, it's our time to pour back into these young women. And I got to tell you, I think you find the same thing that when I do, I'm like blown away by how amazing you are.

And just how hopeful I am about the future because of their kindness and dedication and passion. And so we wish the next generation the very best. Penny and I will hold it down on the other side. That is it for Live in the Brain. Penny, thank you so much. Great to be with you. Listen ad-free with a Fox News Podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon Music app.

It's the Will Kane Show. Watch it live at noon Eastern, Monday through Thursday on FoxNews.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel. And don't miss a show. Get the podcast five days a week at FoxNewsPodcasts.com or wherever you download your favorite podcasts.